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1
00:00:07,510 --> 00:00:10,010
Good morning to ya, one and all.
2
00:00:10,049 --> 00:00:14,049
It is I, little old Terry Wogan,
coming to you via the radio.
3
00:00:16,049 --> 00:00:19,609
"I'm currently on the B132.
4
00:00:19,609 --> 00:00:23,129
"Am I going the right way?"
writes Janice.
5
00:00:23,129 --> 00:00:24,729
Who knows?
6
00:00:24,729 --> 00:00:26,889
Oh, it's morns like this
7
00:00:26,889 --> 00:00:30,729
I wish I was back in Phuket
at a Full Moon Party,
8
00:00:30,729 --> 00:00:34,729
bouncing a ladyboy on each knee,
whilst chasing the dragon.
9
00:00:35,529 --> 00:00:38,849
"Great days," sobs Kenneth.
10
00:00:38,849 --> 00:00:42,849
You're listening to...
Wake Up With Wogan.
11
00:00:42,889 --> 00:00:44,729
No, you're listening to...
12
00:00:44,729 --> 00:00:48,729
Wake Up With Wogan, standin' over
yous in a nappy full to the brim!
13
00:00:49,169 --> 00:00:53,169
Well, it's one of those mornings.
14
00:00:54,369 --> 00:00:55,951
And I'm stuck in traffic.
15
00:01:30,449 --> 00:01:33,009
Course, the more important you are
16
00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:35,329
the closer you park to the building.
17
00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:39,329
So I park about a mile away,
which is shit.
18
00:01:39,489 --> 00:01:42,809
Anyway,
we're talking about man boobs -
19
00:01:42,809 --> 00:01:46,649
email us, text us
if your fellow's got moobs.
20
00:01:46,649 --> 00:01:50,489
They do...
21
00:01:50,489 --> 00:01:54,489
Ooh! Who's on the line? Beryl?
22
00:01:54,969 --> 00:01:58,969
Has your fella got... moobs?
23
00:02:40,569 --> 00:02:41,609
Jean?
24
00:02:41,609 --> 00:02:42,849
Martin.
25
00:02:42,849 --> 00:02:44,609
'Is this an emergency?'
26
00:02:44,609 --> 00:02:46,969
Martin, there is a pigeon on my bus.
27
00:02:46,969 --> 00:02:50,969
Well, a pigeon getting on a bus
is not an emergency, is it?
28
00:02:51,049 --> 00:02:52,449
It thinks it's a person, though.
29
00:02:52,449 --> 00:02:55,489
Well, it will probably get off
at the next stop, won't it?
30
00:02:55,489 --> 00:02:57,009
It's dead cute. Aw!
31
00:02:57,009 --> 00:02:58,209
'Jean.'
32
00:02:58,209 --> 00:03:00,529
It's coming towards me,
I think it's picking a seat.
33
00:03:00,529 --> 00:03:02,649
Mate, there's a pigeon on the bus.
34
00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:06,649
Jean?
35
00:03:07,369 --> 00:03:09,729
Chelsea, you've done ever so well
36
00:03:09,729 --> 00:03:13,729
and we'll be done by home time,
so bring on the wall!
37
00:03:21,049 --> 00:03:24,009
Dionne? Is that you?
38
00:03:24,009 --> 00:03:27,929
It's Martin.
Blimey, you sound different.
39
00:03:27,929 --> 00:03:31,649
Mind you, it's been a few years,
hasn't it?
40
00:03:31,649 --> 00:03:35,329
"I still sound the same?"
Is that good?
41
00:03:35,329 --> 00:03:39,329
Listen, I wanted to ring because
Facebook's a bit, you know... Yeah.
42
00:03:41,529 --> 00:03:44,649
No, and I hear what you're saying.
43
00:03:44,649 --> 00:03:47,849
Yeah. Dionne? Yep.
44
00:03:47,849 --> 00:03:51,849
No, I hear what you're saying,
I just think that I would feel better
45
00:03:51,889 --> 00:03:53,169
if we did the test.
46
00:03:53,169 --> 00:03:56,609
I just want to be absolutely sure
he's my son.
47
00:03:56,609 --> 00:04:00,609
You know, before we bond
and all that, you know? Yeah.
48
00:04:01,769 --> 00:04:03,409
Listen, Dionne, I've got to go.
49
00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:05,449
A trained chimpanzee could...
50
00:04:05,449 --> 00:04:09,449
Yep, OK. Yep, bye.
51
00:04:24,209 --> 00:04:26,769
Oh, my God, you'll never guess
what he's gone and done now.
52
00:04:26,769 --> 00:04:27,609
Dunno.
53
00:04:27,609 --> 00:04:30,849
He's unfollowed me.
He has unfollowed me.
54
00:04:30,849 --> 00:04:32,449
What a bastard.
55
00:04:32,449 --> 00:04:34,369
Huh, what does your paedo-meter say?
56
00:04:34,369 --> 00:04:36,249
It's pronounced "ped-o-meter."
57
00:04:36,249 --> 00:04:38,849
Does it beep
when you go past schools?
58
00:04:38,849 --> 00:04:40,289
Er, just over a mile.
59
00:04:40,289 --> 00:04:41,409
A mile?!
60
00:04:41,409 --> 00:04:43,689
Well, that's all right,
call it our warm-up.
61
00:04:45,129 --> 00:04:49,129
Why would anybody join a proper gym
when it's all out here for free?
62
00:04:49,209 --> 00:04:52,889
It's a bit open, Martin. Everyone
can see us, can't they? It's weird.
63
00:04:52,889 --> 00:04:56,209
No-one's watching us.
Anyway, it's better out in the open.
64
00:04:56,209 --> 00:04:58,289
It's like how Rocky used to train.
65
00:04:58,289 --> 00:05:00,249
It's a bit like being kids again,
ain't it?
66
00:05:00,249 --> 00:05:04,249
More like Rocky.
67
00:05:07,969 --> 00:05:11,969
A bit scared about meeting him
for the first time?
68
00:05:12,409 --> 00:05:14,089
Dunno.
69
00:05:14,089 --> 00:05:15,769
Is he tall like you?
70
00:05:15,769 --> 00:05:17,769
Dunno, I've only got
this picture of his head.
71
00:05:17,769 --> 00:05:21,769
Let's have a look.
72
00:05:25,489 --> 00:05:28,689
Aw.
73
00:05:28,689 --> 00:05:30,249
What does he do?
74
00:05:30,249 --> 00:05:33,609
I can't remember exactly,
something to do with computers.
75
00:05:33,609 --> 00:05:35,089
Dead impressive.
76
00:05:35,089 --> 00:05:38,689
Sure he's yours?
77
00:05:38,689 --> 00:05:41,049
How old is he? Steven, is it?
78
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,129
18.
79
00:05:42,129 --> 00:05:45,729
18? God.
80
00:05:45,729 --> 00:05:48,089
Think of all the time
you've missed with him.
81
00:05:48,089 --> 00:05:50,929
That's shit that, innit?
82
00:05:50,929 --> 00:05:54,929
What would you have bought him
for his tenth birthday?
83
00:05:56,049 --> 00:05:57,529
Buckaroo?
84
00:05:57,529 --> 00:06:00,609
Buckaroo scared me.
85
00:06:00,609 --> 00:06:04,609
Is it cos of him you're doing all
the working out and getting buff?
86
00:06:05,649 --> 00:06:07,889
Dunno.
87
00:06:07,889 --> 00:06:09,969
Asking for a promotion at work
and that...
88
00:06:09,969 --> 00:06:12,089
cos you think he might be
disappointed in you?
89
00:06:12,089 --> 00:06:14,129
Bloody hell, Jean.
90
00:06:14,129 --> 00:06:16,449
He'll be dead impressed
with all your voices though,
91
00:06:16,449 --> 00:06:17,489
won't he, pickle?
92
00:06:17,489 --> 00:06:21,489
I don't want to bombard him
with all of that.
93
00:06:21,929 --> 00:06:25,809
Look at what you're wearing,
it's high-street tragedy.
94
00:06:25,809 --> 00:06:29,809
You need some Gok Wan magic and fast!
95
00:06:30,049 --> 00:06:33,489
I suppose Gok's a bit like
Dale Winton really,
96
00:06:33,489 --> 00:06:36,129
it's just Dale Winton's
a bit like "Whooooey!"
97
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:39,649
And Gok's a bit more "like that!"
98
00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:43,649
Nah, he might think
it's really weird!
99
00:06:49,769 --> 00:06:53,369
You've made me feel all paranoid
about me clothes now, Martin.
100
00:06:53,369 --> 00:06:56,369
I was only joking, you look nice.
101
00:06:56,369 --> 00:06:58,329
Here, watch this.
102
00:06:58,329 --> 00:07:00,609
What are you doing, knobhead?
103
00:07:00,609 --> 00:07:02,929
Hee-hee! Would you believe it?!
104
00:07:02,929 --> 00:07:05,609
I've only gone and got trapped
in the post box.
105
00:07:06,409 --> 00:07:10,409
Don't laugh, the producer will be
furious. What time's the next post?
106
00:07:10,809 --> 00:07:12,889
You'll be in there until 5.30,
Ronnie.
107
00:07:12,889 --> 00:07:16,769
Fuck! Post me in some food
and a couple of beers and...
108
00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:19,089
if you get a chance, pop in a doobie.
109
00:07:19,089 --> 00:07:21,049
Ronnie,
there are some more people coming.
110
00:07:21,049 --> 00:07:23,849
Why are you talking to a post box?
111
00:07:23,849 --> 00:07:25,489
Because I'm trapped in here!
112
00:07:25,489 --> 00:07:29,489
The producer's going to be furious.
Em... I can see the light.
113
00:07:29,929 --> 00:07:30,569
Who are you?
114
00:07:30,569 --> 00:07:32,409
He sounds like a little goblin man.
115
00:07:32,409 --> 00:07:33,649
It's Ronnie Corbett.
116
00:07:33,649 --> 00:07:34,249
Who?
117
00:07:34,249 --> 00:07:36,449
Ronnie Corbett,
I used to be on the telly.
118
00:07:36,449 --> 00:07:38,169
What are you doing in there?
You a paedo?
119
00:07:38,169 --> 00:07:40,329
What? Ronnie Corbett's not a paedo!
120
00:07:40,329 --> 00:07:42,729
Do you not know
who Ronnie Corbett is, seriously?
121
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:45,889
Oh, my God, he's really famous. He
used to be on telly all the time.
122
00:07:45,889 --> 00:07:47,169
Are you fucking up the letters?
123
00:07:47,169 --> 00:07:50,409
No, I can assure you
the post is intact.
124
00:07:50,409 --> 00:07:52,729
We should get him some water.
125
00:07:52,729 --> 00:07:54,369
There's a geezer in there, love.
126
00:07:54,369 --> 00:07:55,169
Hey-ho!
127
00:07:55,169 --> 00:07:56,569
I'll use another one.
128
00:07:56,569 --> 00:07:58,129
Look, if we get you out of there
129
00:07:58,129 --> 00:08:01,289
you got to put us all on telly,
mate, and my cousin as well.
130
00:08:01,289 --> 00:08:05,209
I should get him some water.
131
00:08:05,209 --> 00:08:08,289
Could have got stabbed then, Martin.
132
00:08:08,289 --> 00:08:11,929
Imagine not knowing
who Ronnie Corbett is!
133
00:08:11,929 --> 00:08:14,376
I know. It's mad.
134
00:08:52,677 --> 00:08:53,677
Steven?
135
00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:57,699
Yeah... Steven. Martin? Mar...
136
00:08:57,699 --> 00:09:00,099
Been waving at you from the window
for ages!
137
00:09:00,099 --> 00:09:03,659
Were you? Sorry.
138
00:09:03,659 --> 00:09:06,579
I probably looked mental!
139
00:09:06,579 --> 00:09:10,579
Shall we grab a table?
140
00:09:11,277 --> 00:09:12,637
That's a nice suit.
141
00:09:12,637 --> 00:09:13,957
Cheers.
142
00:09:13,957 --> 00:09:15,557
I've never had a proper suit,
143
00:09:15,557 --> 00:09:19,477
not one where the trousers
match the jacket.
144
00:09:19,477 --> 00:09:23,477
I feel a bit overdressed in here.
145
00:09:25,037 --> 00:09:27,037
I don't know what I'm going to have.
146
00:09:27,037 --> 00:09:31,037
Yeah, I know, they've got everything,
ain't they?
147
00:09:31,997 --> 00:09:35,477
So, you got a girlfriend?
148
00:09:35,477 --> 00:09:38,277
No, I'm really busy with work.
149
00:09:38,277 --> 00:09:41,437
I'm not having much luck with women
at the moment.
150
00:09:41,437 --> 00:09:44,357
There you go,
that's one thing we've got in common.
151
00:09:44,357 --> 00:09:47,037
Well, a lot of men say that,
don't they?
152
00:09:47,037 --> 00:09:51,037
Suppose.
153
00:09:55,117 --> 00:09:58,997
So, Mum said you wanted to do
a DNA test?
154
00:09:58,997 --> 00:10:02,397
What?! Oh, no, she wasn't meant
to tell you, Steven.
155
00:10:02,397 --> 00:10:05,557
Oh, no, no. Mum might have
got it wrong, we need to know.
156
00:10:05,557 --> 00:10:07,037
Look, if I am your dad,
157
00:10:07,037 --> 00:10:10,197
I want to make up for all the things
we missed out on, you know?
158
00:10:10,197 --> 00:10:12,197
I mean, I never got to do
all the dad stuff,
159
00:10:12,197 --> 00:10:15,757
like teaching you how to ride a bike
or wiping your bum.
160
00:10:15,757 --> 00:10:18,117
We should definitely do a test.
161
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:20,997
I didn't mean those things...
We'd do other things.
162
00:10:20,997 --> 00:10:23,837
Look, d'you know what you're having?
I'm going to go and order.
163
00:10:23,837 --> 00:10:25,957
I'm going to go for lasagne.
164
00:10:25,957 --> 00:10:29,477
Ah, no way!
I was going to have lasagne as well.
165
00:10:29,477 --> 00:10:31,477
Or maybe gammon. Gammon's good.
166
00:10:31,477 --> 00:10:35,477
Okey dokey.
167
00:10:43,717 --> 00:10:45,837
Yeah, I've got a loyalty card
for this place.
168
00:10:45,837 --> 00:10:49,837
Get a free side with this meal.
169
00:11:09,117 --> 00:11:12,837
'They have wings
but they do not take to the sky.
170
00:11:12,837 --> 00:11:14,957
'They swim in the ocean like fish
171
00:11:14,957 --> 00:11:18,917
'and every single year they set out
on a seemingly impossible journey.'
172
00:11:18,917 --> 00:11:22,117
The father penguin
protects his offspring
173
00:11:22,117 --> 00:11:26,117
from the freezing cold blizzard,
keeping the egg warm and safe.
174
00:11:28,557 --> 00:11:32,557
The father protects the offspring.
175
00:11:34,317 --> 00:11:37,557
If you want to add some gravitas
with a kind of timeless,
176
00:11:37,557 --> 00:11:41,557
bittersweet wisdom, to some footage
of penguins or anything really,
177
00:11:42,917 --> 00:11:46,917
you need an older black actor
like me, who else?
178
00:11:49,477 --> 00:11:53,477
Me! I am looking
for my son, have you seen my son?
179
00:11:54,717 --> 00:11:58,717
Luke, I am your father.
Simba, I am also your father.
180
00:11:59,557 --> 00:12:01,917
That was a hell of a summer.
181
00:12:01,917 --> 00:12:05,917
Why are all my movies
about being a father?
182
00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:09,757
The harshest environment on Earth.
183
00:12:09,757 --> 00:12:13,157
See, I can do the narration
better than anybody.
184
00:12:13,157 --> 00:12:16,157
The penguin's journey will end here.
185
00:12:16,157 --> 00:12:18,837
No, no, James.
186
00:12:18,837 --> 00:12:21,477
It sounds slightly threatening
when you do it.
187
00:12:21,477 --> 00:12:25,477
You're Darth Vader, it sounds like
you want to hurt those penguins.
188
00:12:25,557 --> 00:12:29,237
Nonsense,
the Emperor will be most displeased
189
00:12:29,237 --> 00:12:31,037
at your insolence.
190
00:12:31,037 --> 00:12:34,877
No, the Emperor's a type
of penguin, James.
191
00:12:34,877 --> 00:12:38,877
My favourite side
of the penguin is the dark side.
192
00:12:40,277 --> 00:12:43,877
No, James,
no-one wants to hear you narrating,
193
00:12:43,877 --> 00:12:47,117
especially the bit where the penguins
are fucking each other.
194
00:12:47,117 --> 00:12:48,917
You sound insane.
195
00:12:48,917 --> 00:12:50,317
Martin?
196
00:12:50,317 --> 00:12:51,197
Yeah.
197
00:12:51,197 --> 00:12:52,437
Who you talking to?
198
00:12:52,437 --> 00:12:53,477
No-one.
199
00:12:53,477 --> 00:12:56,117
Well, get to bed,
you've got a big DNA test tomorrow.
200
00:12:56,117 --> 00:12:58,197
All right, Jean. Flippin' heck!
201
00:12:58,197 --> 00:13:01,957
What happened to the rule
about knocking before you come down?
202
00:13:01,957 --> 00:13:05,797
G'night.
203
00:13:05,797 --> 00:13:08,538
Good night, Jean.
204
00:13:19,722 --> 00:13:21,722
Shut the door.
205
00:13:25,922 --> 00:13:27,402
Seen this?
206
00:13:27,402 --> 00:13:30,042
Wi-Fi now.
Bloody tomatoes yesterday.
207
00:13:30,042 --> 00:13:31,682
Wi-Fi?
208
00:13:31,682 --> 00:13:35,682
Yeah. It might be dangerous.
Makes the trees go weird or something.
209
00:13:36,362 --> 00:13:40,082
I sleep right next to my Wi-Fi,
I'm up pissing half the night,
210
00:13:40,082 --> 00:13:41,882
I used to sleep right through.
211
00:13:41,882 --> 00:13:45,022
Could be giving us all cancer.
212
00:13:45,024 --> 00:13:46,664
I'm building the Titanic.
213
00:13:46,664 --> 00:13:49,424
Yup, tomatoes yesterday,
they can kill you.
214
00:13:49,424 --> 00:13:53,424
They were good for us last week.
I can't take much more of this.
215
00:13:53,984 --> 00:13:56,024
I'm building the Titanic.
216
00:13:56,024 --> 00:13:57,344
What?
217
00:13:57,344 --> 00:13:59,464
A piece a week,
I'm two weeks behind,
218
00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:01,224
you must have cancelled
the magazine.
219
00:14:01,224 --> 00:14:04,984
Oh, if it's not there,
I don't know, mate.
220
00:14:04,984 --> 00:14:08,484
Oh, the bears are on the march,
they're all homeless,
221
00:14:08,513 --> 00:14:11,193
no bloody ice left.
222
00:14:11,193 --> 00:14:14,233
Global warming.
223
00:14:14,233 --> 00:14:17,393
Right, you couldn't have a little
look out the back, could you?
224
00:14:17,393 --> 00:14:18,993
It's Build A Titanic Weekly.
225
00:14:18,993 --> 00:14:22,993
It's just, erm, I've done
the whole of the keel,
226
00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:26,393
I'm now onto the upper decks.
227
00:14:26,393 --> 00:14:29,553
That's going to take you ages, mate,
just sack it off.
228
00:14:29,553 --> 00:14:31,833
Nah, it's not a chore,
I like building it.
229
00:14:31,833 --> 00:14:33,833
I think most people will just do
the first week,
230
00:14:33,833 --> 00:14:35,713
that's why they give you
the good bit first.
231
00:14:35,713 --> 00:14:37,353
Nah. No, I'm not giving up on this.
232
00:14:37,353 --> 00:14:41,353
Last year I built half a giant ant,
I still think about it.
233
00:14:41,753 --> 00:14:44,993
Just have a little
look at the back for us, will you?
234
00:14:44,993 --> 00:14:48,993
There's a meteorite up there,
no-one knows what it's doing.
235
00:14:51,193 --> 00:14:55,193
It might destroy everything
or it could go the other way.
236
00:14:55,953 --> 00:14:59,953
What's the bloody point, eh?
237
00:15:00,993 --> 00:15:02,473
Hey!
238
00:15:02,473 --> 00:15:06,473
Mr Paper Man, why don't you have
a little look out the back
239
00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:09,513
for Build a Titanic Weekly?
240
00:15:09,513 --> 00:15:10,913
It's Al Pacino!
241
00:15:10,913 --> 00:15:11,993
Hoo-hah!
242
00:15:11,993 --> 00:15:13,513
It's very good.
243
00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:15,553
All right, I'll just have
a look out the back.
244
00:15:15,553 --> 00:15:18,353
While you're out there,
have a little look for
245
00:15:18,353 --> 00:15:20,753
Build a Giant Ant magazine.
246
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:24,753
Give me some mandibles, thorax
247
00:15:25,313 --> 00:15:29,313
and maybe, just maybe, you should
stop reading all of this shit.
248
00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:43,633
Mr Stubbs? Mr Stubbs? Chris?
249
00:15:43,633 --> 00:15:44,713
Yeah?
250
00:15:44,713 --> 00:15:46,953
I wondered if you'd had a chance
to look into the,
251
00:15:46,953 --> 00:15:49,313
you know, chances of me
getting a promotion?
252
00:15:49,313 --> 00:15:50,393
Ah, yeah, Mr...?
253
00:15:50,393 --> 00:15:51,393
Hurdle.
254
00:15:51,393 --> 00:15:53,313
That's it. Look, basically,
255
00:15:53,313 --> 00:15:56,873
I have to praise any worker
for proactivity.
256
00:15:56,873 --> 00:16:00,113
Asking for a promotion,
it's an important issue for you
257
00:16:00,113 --> 00:16:02,873
and I have to treat it in that way.
258
00:16:02,873 --> 00:16:06,513
Basically, I have to make you
feel like you've made a difference.
259
00:16:06,513 --> 00:16:10,513
Yeah, well, I want to better myself.
I've got a son now. Probably.
260
00:16:10,513 --> 00:16:12,353
That's nice, when was he born?
261
00:16:12,353 --> 00:16:15,353
1994.
262
00:16:15,353 --> 00:16:18,793
Look, you're site maintenance,
you guys are the absolute lifeblood
263
00:16:18,793 --> 00:16:21,913
of any pharmaceutical company,
except for maybe the chemists,
264
00:16:21,913 --> 00:16:25,633
but basically there's nowhere
to go, it's a...
265
00:16:25,633 --> 00:16:26,993
Dead end?
266
00:16:26,993 --> 00:16:28,953
Something of a cul de sac.
267
00:16:28,953 --> 00:16:32,393
Yeah, look, I've got to dash, I've
got another bloody lunch meeting.
268
00:16:32,393 --> 00:16:34,913
Listen, I probably
shouldn't tell you this
269
00:16:34,913 --> 00:16:38,913
but you guys are
getting new jackets pretty soon.
270
00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:43,393
Gore-Tex, reflective
panelling, yeah?
271
00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:45,753
That's put
a smile on your face, hasn't it?
272
00:16:45,753 --> 00:16:46,793
Gore-Tex.
273
00:16:46,793 --> 00:16:48,313
Keep it under your hat.
274
00:16:48,313 --> 00:16:52,313
Do something about the graffiti,
Mr Harden, it looks fucking awful.
275
00:16:52,513 --> 00:16:53,793
Hurdle.
276
00:16:53,793 --> 00:16:55,033
Yeah, good man.
277
00:17:15,153 --> 00:17:19,153
Hello, everybody.
Chris Stubbs here from HR.
278
00:17:19,393 --> 00:17:23,393
Just a small announcement,
so shut up and listen.
279
00:17:23,553 --> 00:17:26,153
Basically, I'm a freak.
280
00:17:26,153 --> 00:17:29,833
I will literally try anything sexual,
because I can.
281
00:17:29,833 --> 00:17:33,153
At the weekends, I dress
up as a naughty little cheerleader
282
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:35,193
and I love it.
283
00:17:35,193 --> 00:17:37,273
I'm Chris fucking Stubbs.
284
00:17:37,273 --> 00:17:40,633
Now get back to work, you donkeys.
285
00:17:40,633 --> 00:17:44,633
You work for me. Basically.
286
00:18:10,633 --> 00:18:12,473
Mr Hurdle and Mr Coombs?
287
00:18:12,473 --> 00:18:16,473
Yes.
288
00:18:34,393 --> 00:18:38,113
If I'm not your dad,
then we could still be friends.
289
00:18:38,113 --> 00:18:42,113
Yeah.
290
00:18:49,713 --> 00:18:51,073
Right, five days, then.
291
00:18:51,073 --> 00:18:52,193
Yeah.
292
00:18:52,193 --> 00:18:53,673
Martin!
293
00:18:53,673 --> 00:18:55,353
Hiya.
294
00:18:55,353 --> 00:18:57,273
I was just walking up this road.
295
00:18:57,273 --> 00:19:00,073
I thought we were going to meet on
the high street?
296
00:19:00,073 --> 00:19:02,193
I just fancied a walk.
297
00:19:02,193 --> 00:19:04,153
Steven, this is my mate, Jean.
298
00:19:04,153 --> 00:19:05,553
Hello, Steven.
299
00:19:05,553 --> 00:19:07,673
Jean, I've heard so much about you.
300
00:19:07,673 --> 00:19:11,513
Ooh.
So how did it go? The test?
301
00:19:11,513 --> 00:19:13,513
Did you fill the pot?
302
00:19:13,513 --> 00:19:16,033
Yeah. It was a cheek swab, Jean.
303
00:19:16,033 --> 00:19:18,753
Yeah, it was very quick.
304
00:19:18,753 --> 00:19:22,353
We're going for a drink, Steven.
Do you want to come with us?
305
00:19:22,353 --> 00:19:25,113
I think I've got to get back
to the office,
306
00:19:25,113 --> 00:19:27,833
it all falls apart if I'm not there.
307
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:30,193
Maybe next week, though. Maybe.
308
00:19:30,193 --> 00:19:32,713
Makes sense, doesn't it?
When you've got the result.
309
00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:36,713
Right, Steven,
speak to you soon, then.
310
00:19:36,793 --> 00:19:40,593
Yep. Erm, cheers, Martin,
speak soon.
311
00:19:40,593 --> 00:19:41,993
He's dead cute.
312
00:19:41,993 --> 00:19:45,993
Come on.
313
00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:48,033
What's wrong?
314
00:19:48,033 --> 00:19:52,033
Nothing, I just thought we were going
to meet on the high street.
315
00:19:53,273 --> 00:19:54,553
Oh, did I embarrass you?
316
00:19:54,553 --> 00:19:55,633
No!
317
00:19:55,633 --> 00:19:59,633
He is tall, isn't he? Yeah.
Ah, I hope he's yours.
318
00:19:59,913 --> 00:20:02,193
I bet he's not, though,
what do you think?
319
00:20:02,193 --> 00:20:05,233
We've just got to
wait for the results, haven't we?
320
00:20:05,233 --> 00:20:07,193
Here we are, what about this place?
321
00:20:07,193 --> 00:20:08,953
Nah, I'm Irish in there.
322
00:20:08,953 --> 00:20:10,393
You what?
323
00:20:10,393 --> 00:20:12,833
I just went in there once
and started being Irish.
324
00:20:12,833 --> 00:20:14,113
Irish?
325
00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:17,513
Yeah. Used to work with this Michael
bloke, he had a great voice.
326
00:20:17,513 --> 00:20:20,513
Anyway, I went in there and
the landlord started talking to me
327
00:20:20,513 --> 00:20:22,513
and Michael's voice just popped out.
328
00:20:22,513 --> 00:20:25,113
How often do you go in there
and pretend to be Irish?
329
00:20:25,113 --> 00:20:27,633
Tuesday night's quiz night
and sometimes Friday.
330
00:20:27,633 --> 00:20:30,993
It's a great craic
in there, so it is.
331
00:20:30,993 --> 00:20:33,113
That's a bit fuckin' weird, Martin.
332
00:20:33,113 --> 00:20:37,113
Yeah.
333
00:20:38,913 --> 00:20:42,913
Quiz night?
334
00:20:54,833 --> 00:20:57,153
If I didn't know who my dad was
335
00:20:57,153 --> 00:21:00,753
and it turned out to be this guy,
I would be disappointed.
336
00:21:00,753 --> 00:21:04,433
Well, he does
have a pretty crappy car.
337
00:21:04,433 --> 00:21:08,433
Really, and he spends all day
picking up trash, is that good?
338
00:21:08,793 --> 00:21:12,113
Well, no, but, you know,
someone's got to do it,
339
00:21:12,113 --> 00:21:15,353
ones man's trash is another
man's treasure.
340
00:21:15,353 --> 00:21:17,673
Really, is that how you're
going to go?
341
00:21:17,673 --> 00:21:20,673
God, there's no need to be
such a dick.
342
00:21:20,673 --> 00:21:24,673
Really? And you're making me
out to be the bad guy?
343
00:21:27,353 --> 00:21:31,353
I don't know.
I'm not being paranoid!
344
00:21:33,713 --> 00:21:35,433
Why would they want an arm
measurement?
345
00:21:35,433 --> 00:21:37,433
It's got to be like for new
jackets and shit.
346
00:21:37,433 --> 00:21:38,833
Probably.
347
00:21:38,833 --> 00:21:40,473
Well, how long have you
had yours for?
348
00:21:40,473 --> 00:21:41,513
Seven years.
349
00:21:41,513 --> 00:21:44,233
That's got to be it.
350
00:21:44,233 --> 00:21:46,513
Hang on,
you've been here seven years?
351
00:21:46,513 --> 00:21:47,753
Yup.
352
00:21:47,753 --> 00:21:50,313
Shit, man, if I'm
still here in seven years,
353
00:21:50,313 --> 00:21:54,313
someone better put me
out of my misery.
354
00:22:16,273 --> 00:22:20,273
Our planet is the only planet
355
00:22:20,353 --> 00:22:24,353
in our solar system to sustain life,
and it does so in abundance.
356
00:22:26,713 --> 00:22:30,673
Look at what mankind has built
itself, its big glittery ball
357
00:22:30,673 --> 00:22:34,673
of nonsenses, towers
and offices full of people working
358
00:22:35,633 --> 00:22:39,633
all hours for other people that
neither notice them nor give a shit.
359
00:22:40,553 --> 00:22:44,473
Clicking away on mouses that
aren't even mouses
360
00:22:44,473 --> 00:22:47,593
or painting never-ending walls.
361
00:22:47,593 --> 00:22:51,593
And it goes on and on,
life spawning new life,
362
00:22:53,193 --> 00:22:57,193
new people in their little cars,
driving away.
363
00:23:20,513 --> 00:23:24,513
Steven, hello.
364
00:23:24,593 --> 00:23:25,786
It's your dad.
27470
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