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1
00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:10,050
What about me
isn't enough for Lena?
2
00:00:10,051 --> 00:00:12,511
Is it that I sometimes
skip leg day?
3
00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:14,138
Is it my veneers?
4
00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:15,931
Is it that gray hair I found?
5
00:00:15,932 --> 00:00:17,391
Is it because I
say "to-may-toes,"
6
00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:18,684
and she says "to-mah-toes"?
7
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:21,145
I mean, is that enough to
call the whole thing off?
8
00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:23,814
Ugh! My dude, I'm
just here to get you
9
00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:26,734
to sign the time card
for Sophia's internship.
10
00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:29,153
What am I even
still doing in this city?
11
00:00:29,154 --> 00:00:30,821
What am I even still
doing in this city?
12
00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:32,781
I don't need this place.
I bet without me
13
00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:34,825
that stupid paper's
gone up in flames.
14
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:42,666
Some might call us a gossip rag.
15
00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:45,836
But I say, "From
rags to riches!"
16
00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:49,048
I can't believe we swept
the Muckraker awards.
17
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,550
Suck my ass, TMZ.
18
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:55,846
Quality journalism
always floats to the top.
19
00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:59,141
Goldie and Betty went to
the American Girl store
20
00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:04,188
in Fawcett City so Bane's
getting toe the fuck up.
21
00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:06,148
Delicious.
22
00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:11,070
Stupid, dumb Daily Planet.
23
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,237
Whoa!
24
00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:13,238
Whoa! What's happening?
25
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:25,793
Shit. Ow, ow! Hot, hot, hot.
26
00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:27,378
Sweet Cronkite's ghost!
27
00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:37,596
This has to be the work of...
28
00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:40,057
...Lena?
29
00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:43,144
Huh. Guessing you
two broke up then.
30
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:58,242
No. No, no. Oh,
no. Oh, no. Oh, no.
31
00:01:58,243 --> 00:02:00,411
Ah, you...
32
00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:03,247
You ruined it.
You're such an idiot.
33
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:04,581
A stupid little idiot.
34
00:02:04,582 --> 00:02:07,376
No, I... I can fix it.
It was an accident.
35
00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:10,629
You were an accident. Mom
and Dad always say so.
36
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:15,050
I just wanted to
play with Metropolis.
37
00:02:15,051 --> 00:02:17,261
It's my Metropolis,
38
00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:19,263
and you're not allowed
near it ever again.
39
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:22,975
Hmm. Little higher, Nigel.
40
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,519
And... There we go.
41
00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:33,527
Ooh, I have great lips.
42
00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:35,279
Isn't it something, Brainy?
43
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:36,947
I mean, I did what
you tried to do,
44
00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:38,532
only, way better.
45
00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:40,617
Far more fun lording
over a bottled city
46
00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:41,952
when the people aren't frozen.
47
00:02:41,953 --> 00:02:43,537
Please, I beg of you. Kill me.
48
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:46,206
Oh, sweetie.
I wish I could.
49
00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:47,875
But what if I need you?
50
00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:51,837
I am not really a tech
gal. That is all you.
51
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,464
Now, where is he?
52
00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,299
He was supposed
to be transferred
53
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:56,884
to Stryker's Island,
but the automatons
54
00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:58,635
couldn't find him there.
55
00:02:58,636 --> 00:02:59,804
Automatons!
56
00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:03,516
Get me my brother.
57
00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:07,478
Lena
actually did it.
58
00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:09,897
She bottled the damn city.
59
00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:10,814
You never underestimate
60
00:03:10,815 --> 00:03:13,193
a middle-aged woman
with a clear goal.
61
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:18,364
Ugh. Oh, no. She's
rage-smashing.
62
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:19,573
Hey, babe?
63
00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:21,283
Uh, just checking in. How...
64
00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:22,884
How are you feeling?
65
00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:25,662
Must. Kill. Lena!
66
00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:28,332
I... I know. I know
I want that too.
67
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:30,125
But I think you need
to check yourself
68
00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:31,877
before you wreck another car.
69
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:32,920
She murdered Frank!
70
00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:35,506
Basically murdered my
dad, tried to murder me,
71
00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:37,508
probably gonna murder
everyone in Metropolis,
72
00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:39,259
and she tried to drive
a wedge between us
73
00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:40,969
and murder our relationship.
74
00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:44,682
Ah! She tried. She did
not succeed, right?
75
00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:46,183
Nothing can break us up, hon.
76
00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:48,435
I mean, can you imagine the
meltdown on the Internet
77
00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:49,812
if we did? I mean...
78
00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:52,773
But that's not happening
because when we have a problem,
79
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:53,899
we work through it.
80
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:56,360
Just promise you will never
hold a grudge against me
81
00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,695
that you keep inside for decades
82
00:03:57,696 --> 00:04:00,155
till it festers long
enough that you bottle up
83
00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:01,824
an entire city for revenge.
84
00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:03,784
I mean, that is an incredibly
specific situation.
85
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:06,662
But sure, yes. I
will not do that.
86
00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:10,249
We'll stop Lena, the
only way we know how.
87
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,542
- Together.
- And me too.
88
00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:14,211
Wow. I really
forgot she was here.
89
00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:15,337
You know? Sure.
90
00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:18,966
The classic trio of
Harley, Ivy and Sharon.
91
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:20,592
- Hooray!
- Oh, my God.
92
00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:22,928
Okay. We need to find a
way onto the Skull Ship,
93
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,763
but Lena destroyed
the only teleporter.
94
00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:26,557
Can't we just,
like, fly up there?
95
00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:28,142
Okay, first we gotta
figure out where it is.
96
00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:32,938
Hmm. A ship like that must have
advanced cloaking technology.
97
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:35,274
We need someone inside
to deactivate it.
98
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,567
How the hell did you know that?
99
00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:39,028
You never wanna listen
to me. But I know things.
100
00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:40,946
I know youse two were
in a relationship rut,
101
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,157
and that's why you
moved to Metropolis.
102
00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:44,491
- How did you...?
- Holy shit!
103
00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:47,036
And I know, right now, I
wish that guy, 24, was real,
104
00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:50,247
- because 24 can do anything.
- Immediately unhelpful again.
105
00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:51,498
You're talking about
Kiefer Sutherland?
106
00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:53,625
Yeah, yeah. That's
who I said. 24!
107
00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:57,421
A real freak, who always
knows how to get out of a jam.
108
00:04:57,422 --> 00:05:00,299
I know just
the freak to call.
109
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,845
Where is Lex?
110
00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:06,430
Where is Lex?
111
00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:07,639
We need to save the city.
112
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:08,974
We need to get your signature
113
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,642
on this internship form.
114
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:12,519
Seriously. We're
on a deadline here.
115
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,606
Ugh. Fine.
116
00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:20,194
Where is Lex?
117
00:05:20,195 --> 00:05:22,654
I have no idea. Let me go.
118
00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:24,698
That's your signature?
119
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:27,201
It's like two scribbly marks.
120
00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:28,952
Can't even see a W.
121
00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:30,788
This is a signature.
122
00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:35,000
You just drew a clown face.
123
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,627
Exactly.
124
00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:39,421
It's fun, hard to replicate
125
00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:40,422
and to the point.
126
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:43,467
Hey, Lois.
127
00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:44,677
Uh. Oh.
128
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:45,761
Damn it. My purse is in there.
129
00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:49,807
I didn't pee myself.
This is soup.
130
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:51,642
Whoa!
131
00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:53,060
Bruce, the automatons
are destroying...
132
00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:54,436
...everything
133
00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:56,772
and everyone in their
path to find Lex.
134
00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:57,690
Of course.
135
00:05:57,691 --> 00:06:00,150
This was about her
brother this whole time.
136
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:01,819
Not about me.
137
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:04,154
She just hates
all men because of Lex.
138
00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:06,490
Whatever gets you
through the night, Big Guy.
139
00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:08,659
Bruce, how do we end this?
140
00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:09,868
Our best bet is to
head to Wayne Tower
141
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,120
for supplies.
142
00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:13,372
Oh, good. Then I can
hand in this form.
143
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:14,915
Hey, Lois.
144
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,668
What's your signature look like?
145
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:19,586
Now that's a John Hancock.
146
00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:22,382
Thanks. I took an
autograph class online.
147
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:24,174
- Mom.
- I got it.
148
00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:25,592
Would you just
let me get him? Come on.
149
00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:27,011
I said I got it.
150
00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:30,431
Wow. So this
is it. The Batcave.
151
00:06:30,432 --> 00:06:34,018
Batman's secret lair.
We're just in it.
152
00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:35,894
Wow. We
got a giant penny.
153
00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:37,271
Okay.
154
00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:40,733
Bloodied up Robin suit
that smells...
155
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:41,775
horrific.
156
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,944
A dinosaur animatronic,
did not see that coming.
157
00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:46,238
Wait a second. Is that the
only fridge in this space?
158
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,448
- Yep.
- Oh, my God.
159
00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:48,532
Fits like three sandwiches.
160
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:50,242
Look, Batman's obsessed
with his weight.
161
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:52,828
He won't keep anything in
here that might "tempt" him.
162
00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,038
- Huh.
- Who's Batman?
163
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,789
Oh, my God, Mom. You
don't know who Batman is?
164
00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:57,458
I can't keep up
with all your lovers
165
00:06:57,459 --> 00:06:58,709
and their fetishes.
166
00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:00,210
It is not a fetish.
167
00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:02,546
He dresses up as a bat
in a skintight suit
168
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:03,881
and wrestles people.
And you know what?
169
00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:05,257
Wow, you're right.
It is a fetish.
170
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,053
Oh, shit.
171
00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:10,220
Shit, shit. No.
172
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:13,182
Get away! Stop. Stop it.
173
00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,517
Harley, what are you
doing calling me on my...
174
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,603
- Poison Ivy and I...
- And me. Your mother.
175
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:20,647
...knew Batman had the
tech to contact you, Bruce.
176
00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:22,191
A separate person.
177
00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:23,901
Uh, right. Of course.
178
00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:27,988
He has a line to contact
me because I... pay Batman.
179
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:29,323
Fucking corporate shill.
180
00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:33,410
Harley, Lena's willing
to destroy the city
181
00:07:33,411 --> 00:07:34,453
in search of Lex.
182
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,080
We need to find him first.
183
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,039
No, we have him.
184
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,208
All this started with
a sibling rivalry,
185
00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:42,878
and the only way to end it
is a sibling reconciliation.
186
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,755
Hmm. This is why I'm
glad my parents paid
187
00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:45,881
to make me an only child.
188
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:48,634
- Holy shit.
- Hi, Sharon here.
189
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,135
Hate to ask, but what happens
190
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,346
once Lex is in the
same room as Lena?
191
00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:54,807
Good question?What's your plan, Harley?
192
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,433
Not sure. Lex will
figure it out.
193
00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:57,643
Yeah...
Hold... hold up.
194
00:07:57,644 --> 00:08:00,437
Your plan is for
Lex to have a plan.
195
00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:02,439
Anyone have a better plan?
196
00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:04,817
Ah, then it's settled.
197
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,277
We're going with my plan
for Lex to have a plan.
198
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:09,613
Once Lex wakes up here,
he'll know what to do.
199
00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:11,949
Lex is in the Batcave?
200
00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:13,450
You put a Bat-bag over his head
201
00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:14,827
so he can't see anything, right?
202
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,162
Yes...
203
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,123
Bruce, you gotta turn off
the Skull's cloaking device
204
00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:20,582
and then we'll use your
rocket to get aboard.
205
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:22,668
Dude doesn't have a rocket.
206
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,378
I mean, the whole
thing is disappointing.
207
00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:26,171
No, but we have
something better.
208
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:27,423
Listen up.
209
00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:29,842
Metropolis Wayne Tower was
working on a device for Batman
210
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:32,845
called the Bat-Radia, that
jams electromagnetic signals.
211
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:35,139
It can depower the Skull
Ship's cloaking device.
212
00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:36,974
Is that what Sophia's
been working on
213
00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:39,184
in her "summer internship"?
214
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:42,688
Don't love you using
teenagers to make weapons,
215
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,481
but at least she's
learning a trade.
216
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:45,733
Can you just... Can I finish?
217
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,151
Sorry. My b.
218
00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:48,819
Then the
Batcomputer can activate
219
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:50,320
the Wayne satellites'
tractor beams
220
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:52,698
to pull the Skull Ship
down to Earth's atmosphere.
221
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:53,907
I just have to circle back.
222
00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:56,660
You keep the Bat-Radia
clipped to your belt?
223
00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:58,620
What, you got your
inhaler on there, too?
224
00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:00,539
Ignoring that. And then
Harley, Ivy, and Lex
225
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,416
can board the Batplane
to reach the Skull Ship.
226
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:05,002
Hey, actually, I didn't
love that inhaler joke.
227
00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:06,086
How about...
228
00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:08,088
What, are you wearing tube
socks and sandals too?
229
00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:10,883
Lois.
Fantastic punch up.
230
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,509
Thanks. Means a lot
coming from you.
231
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:15,888
- Honestly.
- Ugh, can you please...
232
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:18,640
Uh, Harls? Yoo...
Yoo-hoo. He's awake.
233
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:19,767
Uh, let me call you back, Bruce.
234
00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,268
I have to, uh...pee.
235
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:22,936
Don't wanna get a UTI.
236
00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:25,522
So this is the famed Batcave.
237
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:27,399
I have a penny twice
that size, and...
238
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:31,320
- Wait. Is that the only fridge?
- Yes. What is up with that?
239
00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:32,529
You can only fit, like, what?
240
00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:33,864
- Three sandwiches?
- Three sandwiches.
241
00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:36,533
- That's what I said.
- Hey! we need to focus.
242
00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:37,868
Lex, take a look at Metropolis.
243
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:43,749
Hold up. This is
what my baby sister
244
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,376
has done to my city?
245
00:09:45,377 --> 00:09:47,169
Yes, and you've got to stop her.
246
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:48,712
No, she's dead to me.
247
00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:50,881
After all, who do you
think sent me to prison?
248
00:09:50,882 --> 00:09:52,508
- Lois.
- ...was her pawn.
249
00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:56,637
Lena leaked the documents.
Lois only published the expose.
250
00:09:56,638 --> 00:09:58,806
Holy shit. Well, that
puts a real asterisk
251
00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:00,099
on her beloved Pulitzer.
252
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:03,769
Why do you need me?
Shouldn't Superman stop this?
253
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,397
I kinda convinced him
to go on sabbatical.
254
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:11,568
Hi, it's me, Lena,
your new ruler.
255
00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:13,404
Isn't this city so much more fab
256
00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:15,989
now that you're all in
a little tiny bottle?
257
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:17,658
Anyways...
258
00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:20,577
I'm looking for my brother,
but he's nowhere to be found.
259
00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:23,664
And if I can't find him,
I'll be so disappointed,
260
00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:26,917
and I get antsy when
I'm disappointed.
261
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,881
Okay, toodle-oo for now.
262
00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:34,633
Get me in a room
with my baby sister.
263
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:38,095
I hate Lena, but I
love my city more.
264
00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:40,806
I mean, who do you think of
when you think of Metropolis?
265
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,558
- Superman?
- Okay, but then who?
266
00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:45,436
Um, maybe Lois, or Jimmy?
267
00:10:45,437 --> 00:10:47,021
- Jimmy, get real.
- Oh, wait, wait.
268
00:10:47,022 --> 00:10:48,856
What's the guy's
name with the cape?
269
00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:50,607
- Cal Something.
- Kal-El?
270
00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:52,443
That's Superman, Mom.
271
00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:54,570
Do you want my help or not?
272
00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:57,906
You said
you'd call back.
273
00:10:57,907 --> 00:11:00,242
Sorry. Turns out I
also had to... shit.
274
00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:01,952
We're running out of time.
275
00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:03,162
People are turning
on each other.
276
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,289
There's a bunch
of... I don't know
277
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:06,206
what you'd call them.
278
00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:08,917
Uh, bottle deniers?
279
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:10,461
Well, that's what happens
when you eliminate
280
00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:12,296
quality journalism.
281
00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:14,465
We gotta get on the ship pronto.
282
00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:15,591
First we have to make a stop.
283
00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:16,884
Oh, I hope it's to grab food.
284
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:18,844
'Cause I ate those
three fridge sandwiches,
285
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,346
- and I'm still starving.
- Oh, my God, Mom!
286
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:22,806
- Sweet shit, Sharon.
- Who is she again?
287
00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:31,315
The Bat-Radia's Bat-activated.
288
00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:34,526
Man, that
sounded so dorky.
289
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:35,527
Yeah.
290
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:38,364
You're lucky Batman
didn't hear you say that.
291
00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:51,960
Oh.
292
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:54,546
What in the whole
wide world of fuck?
293
00:11:57,092 --> 00:11:58,842
Monitor says the Skull's reached
294
00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:01,053
Earth's thermosphere.
So we should be good.
295
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:04,181
See, Harley. You wasted
all that time getting PhDs,
296
00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:06,850
when you could've been
the first female pilot.
297
00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:09,144
Mom there are a ton
of female pilots.
298
00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:11,105
Huh, not in any airline I fly.
299
00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:13,148
Oh, my God, Mom. You
can't say stuff like that.
300
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:14,024
What?
301
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:18,529
Well... Lex.
302
00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:22,199
- Haven't seen you in a bit.
- No, no. I... I mean, yeah.
303
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,201
- Yep.
- Yep, yep, yep.
304
00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:26,161
So, um...
305
00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,997
What, uh, pray
tell, is in the box?
306
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:32,376
Well, uh, the box.
307
00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:34,545
The ultimate weapon
to take down Lena.
308
00:12:34,546 --> 00:12:38,007
Cool. Cool. Is it, like,
a grenade or laser...
309
00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:40,969
- Oh, you'll see.
- Okay.
310
00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:46,515
Um, your hair. It's
redder than usual.
311
00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:48,434
Oh, my God, that's so funny.
No one noticed.
312
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,602
You know, people
think that bald men
313
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:51,645
don't appreciate hair,
314
00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:54,064
but it's all we
ever think about.
315
00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:03,991
Listen, you stay here.
316
00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:05,743
I'm not losing both
my parents this week.
317
00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:07,077
Okay.
318
00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:09,455
Hey, will you see if they
have any decaf green tea?
319
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:10,706
Mom, mom, mom!
320
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:13,877
Okay, it could be
caffeinated, sheesh.
321
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,879
What the fu... Ugh.
322
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:17,796
It's you two.
323
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,048
Shouldn't you be dead?
324
00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:21,717
Ugh. Just grab
your stupid plant
325
00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:22,843
and leave me alone.
326
00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:25,387
Her name is Frankette,
and we'll take her
327
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:26,347
right after you're dead.
328
00:13:26,348 --> 00:13:28,557
It's time to stop
this shit, Lena.
329
00:13:28,558 --> 00:13:31,268
Stop? Stop.
330
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:34,021
Nothing can stop me, honey.
331
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:43,406
Hello, little baby sister.
332
00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:49,453
Okay. I've waited long
enough for someone
333
00:13:49,454 --> 00:13:50,871
to be the voice of reason,
334
00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:53,749
but clearly I've got
to step the fuck up.
335
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,793
Lois, call Superman.
336
00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:57,169
What? You don't trust Harley?
337
00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:00,297
Oh. Oh, yeah. I'm
sure her gymnastics skills
338
00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:02,841
and her short shorts
will save us all.
339
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:03,967
Come on!
340
00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:06,512
I think our odds will
be significantly up
341
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:09,181
if we had a guy with
the powers of a God.
342
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,725
Wouldn't you rather
have, you know, maybe,
343
00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:13,477
Batman come save us?
344
00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:14,311
Batman?
345
00:14:14,312 --> 00:14:15,979
The hell is Batman
gonna do in space?
346
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,981
Take down a rocket
with a Batarang?
347
00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:19,525
Who's even seen Batman lately?
348
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,610
Maybe he's on a personal
quest to cultivate balance
349
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,987
with a life and happiness
outside his career for once.
350
00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:26,532
Lois! Call your boyfriend.
351
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:29,868
Oh! Oh, you're saying
you want little old Lois
352
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,537
to get her big, strong boyfriend
353
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:32,538
to save us all?
354
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,248
Jesus Christ.
355
00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:35,165
Yes!
356
00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:37,001
Well, I don't know
where he is, okay?
357
00:14:37,002 --> 00:14:39,628
When he went on
sabbatical, so did we.
358
00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:43,007
I was just so sick of
always needing him.
359
00:14:43,008 --> 00:14:44,758
He left me this
watch I can press
360
00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:46,135
when I'm ready to talk.
361
00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:47,386
It sends out a signal that'll
have him here in seconds.
362
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,972
But, you know, I don't
think I'm quite there yet.
363
00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:52,016
You asshole! I said
I wasn't there yet.
364
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,522
Huh. He, uh, should've
been here by now.
365
00:14:58,523 --> 00:14:59,440
Hmm.
366
00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:01,567
My communicator
isn't working either.
367
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:02,693
Okay, when this is all over,
368
00:15:02,694 --> 00:15:05,529
I'm seeing Clock King
about upping my watch game.
369
00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:07,906
Oh, my God. Oh, my
God. We're screwed.
370
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,241
How am I gonna get to Superman?
371
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:12,870
A minute ago, you said you
didn't want to need him.
372
00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:14,038
That was when I knew
I could get him.
373
00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:15,539
Now that I can't
get him, I need him.
374
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:18,709
Ugh, you and your
messy relationships.
375
00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:21,378
Me and my SO, we're like this.
376
00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:23,380
- Shut the fuck up, Joker.
- Jesus.
377
00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:25,466
Bruce, you must have
something that would work.
378
00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:27,509
Let's go into your Tower,
and... and see what you got.
379
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:29,011
Uh-oh.
380
00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:31,222
Get down!
381
00:15:33,475 --> 00:15:35,351
So I might have left out
that there is this glitch
382
00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:37,561
with the Bat-Radia
where it might possibly
383
00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:39,480
overpower all
electronics in the radius
384
00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:40,564
- and blow them out.
- What?
385
00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:42,691
That's a pretty
damning glitch, Bruce.
386
00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:43,525
Don't blame me.
387
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:45,235
Blame the 16-year-old
who made it.
388
00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:47,154
Hey, that's my daughter.
389
00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:49,239
We've lost all
communication in Metropolis.
390
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,574
We're in the Dark Ages.
391
00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:51,993
The Dark Ages...
392
00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:54,704
I know exactly
where we have to go.
393
00:15:57,916 --> 00:15:59,500
I've been looking for you.
394
00:15:59,501 --> 00:16:02,461
Uh, what do you think?
Pretty impressive, huh?
395
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:05,339
Mmm-hmm. It looks just like it.
396
00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:06,591
Like what?
397
00:16:07,342 --> 00:16:08,593
This.
398
00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:11,220
The hell is that?
399
00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:13,722
That's the ultimate
weapon to take Lena down?
400
00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:15,182
A fucking model train?
401
00:16:15,183 --> 00:16:16,225
- Right?
- Excellent.
402
00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:18,352
You don't want to
rule Metropolis.
403
00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:21,355
What you want is to
play with my toys,
404
00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:23,774
just like you were
never allowed to do
405
00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:25,151
when we were kids.
406
00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:41,625
You think that's
what it's about?
407
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,711
I don't wanna play
with your toys.
408
00:16:43,712 --> 00:16:48,590
I want to destroy them. Like
you always destroyed me,
409
00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:49,758
making me feel lesser.
410
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:52,136
An afterthought in the
great name of Luthors
411
00:16:52,137 --> 00:16:54,763
when I should've been
the only thought.
412
00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:58,934
You've always
lorded over me Lex.
413
00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:02,646
Time for me to lord over you.
414
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,398
Lena, what are you doing?
415
00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:05,983
- Calm down. Lena.
- Oh, shit, shit, shit.
416
00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:07,192
Shit, shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit, shit.
417
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:08,473
- Oh, fuck!
- Lena, please.
418
00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:13,032
So what happens next?
419
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:14,366
Uh, you mean with you two?
420
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:18,370
No. Well, yes, but you
shrink Lex and lord over him.
421
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,080
- Then what?
- Well...
422
00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:21,999
Then, I'm a God.
423
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,335
'Cause that worked out for
this guy over here, huh?
424
00:17:24,336 --> 00:17:25,669
- I...
- Fucking a bunch...
425
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,046
- of dead monkey bones.
- ...Want. To. Die.
426
00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:28,714
Ugh.
427
00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:34,053
Where is Lex?
428
00:17:35,513 --> 00:17:38,682
Perchance instead of Lex,
I offer you a monologue.
429
00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:41,518
Now is the winter
of our discontent...
430
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,146
What if I gave up Bane?
431
00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:45,565
You are a Judas!
432
00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:53,238
Ow! Shit. That hurt.
433
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:54,823
You guys just do that normally?
434
00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:58,702
Lois! How dare you step foot
in here after you disgraced
435
00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:00,871
these hallowed
halls by quitting?
436
00:18:00,872 --> 00:18:02,164
Morse code machines.
437
00:18:02,165 --> 00:18:05,751
I used them once when I wanted
to send, um, certain messages
438
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,211
to, um, to Superman.
439
00:18:07,212 --> 00:18:10,047
- On company time?
- Nobody's talking to you, man.
440
00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:11,090
The tech's so ancient,
441
00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:12,299
the blast shouldn't
have destroyed it,
442
00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:13,467
and the ship won't detect it.
443
00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:15,469
But Superman could
hear the transmissions.
444
00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:18,472
That is some
old-school sexting.
445
00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:20,724
- Big ups.
- Respect, Miss Lane.
446
00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:22,976
I'll take this in
the other room.
447
00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:25,813
Dot, dot, dash.
448
00:18:25,814 --> 00:18:29,400
See, Lena? What's the
point in being a God
449
00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:31,568
if you have no one
to share it with?
450
00:18:31,569 --> 00:18:34,780
Wait, you want me to
share with this asshole
451
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,740
who wouldn't even
share his toys with me?
452
00:18:36,741 --> 00:18:38,367
Oh, get over yourself.
453
00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:40,661
You know how kids are
who go bald at seven.
454
00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:43,205
Lex, why didn't you
want to share with Lena?
455
00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:44,707
Ooh, you're so good, babe.
456
00:18:44,708 --> 00:18:48,252
Oh, please. My one rule was
she couldn't touch my trains.
457
00:18:48,253 --> 00:18:50,629
Lex, why didn't you
wanna share with Lena?
458
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:52,715
This is asinine.
I'm not gonna...
459
00:18:52,716 --> 00:18:54,299
Why didn't you wanna
share with Lena?
460
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,552
People liked her, okay?
461
00:18:56,553 --> 00:19:00,389
They were drawn to you, your
charm, your sense of ease.
462
00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:03,100
I never had that. I had
to make people respect me.
463
00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:06,270
But you... People
just liked you.
464
00:19:06,271 --> 00:19:07,604
So I had to drag you down.
465
00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:11,275
Lena, how does it feel
hearing your brother say that?
466
00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:13,444
Uh, it...
It makes me sad.
467
00:19:13,445 --> 00:19:15,404
- Holy shit!
- Why?
468
00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:18,866
Because we... We just
wasted so much time.
469
00:19:18,867 --> 00:19:20,451
I mean, who knows what
we could have done
470
00:19:20,452 --> 00:19:22,202
if... if we were a team.
471
00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:26,081
We'd have a lot more
than just Metropolis.
472
00:19:28,126 --> 00:19:31,128
Wow, we are a very
good therapist.
473
00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:33,881
Fuck Metropolis.
Harley's right.
474
00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:34,965
Exactly.
475
00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:37,634
- Lex, we should work together.
- Say what now?
476
00:19:37,635 --> 00:19:40,095
To take over the
fucking universe.
477
00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:41,013
Fuck.
478
00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:42,097
Huh?
479
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:45,434
We, uh, might be too
good of a therapist.
480
00:19:45,435 --> 00:19:48,354
Uh, okay. Let's maybe
circle back to...
481
00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:51,648
It's your party, sis.
482
00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:52,900
What would you like
to do with them?
483
00:19:52,901 --> 00:19:54,360
I mean, taking over
the universe is
484
00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:56,236
such a big idea. I
just thought, maybe,
485
00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:57,571
we would start small.
486
00:19:57,572 --> 00:20:00,532
Clever
turn of phrase.
487
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,409
Wherever did you learn
to speak like that?
488
00:20:02,410 --> 00:20:04,745
I suppose I went
fishing in the deep end
489
00:20:04,746 --> 00:20:06,121
of the Luthor gene pool.
490
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:09,083
Can you believe they're
talking like this?
491
00:20:09,084 --> 00:20:10,292
It's weird, right?
492
00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:11,919
Like, do you think
they're gonna, like, fuck?
493
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:14,880
- Why don't you do the honors?
- I have a better idea.
494
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:16,841
Let's do it together.
495
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,721
Hey, youse got a
can in this joint?
496
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,932
If I don't take a piss
soon I'm gonna get a UTI.
497
00:20:31,690 --> 00:20:34,149
Misery needs company.
498
00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:35,192
You asshole!
499
00:20:35,193 --> 00:20:37,361
You psychotic monster!
500
00:20:37,362 --> 00:20:40,072
Uh, I just pissed on myself.
501
00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:41,949
Nothing left to do but wait.
502
00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:44,369
Shouldn't be long,
though.
503
00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:47,037
You want some?
504
00:20:47,038 --> 00:20:49,832
Mmm. A moment on the
lips, forever on the hips.
505
00:20:49,833 --> 00:20:52,543
You know, men can have
eating disorders, too.
506
00:20:52,544 --> 00:20:54,837
It's a real issue in
the superhero community.
507
00:20:54,838 --> 00:20:56,714
I was working on
an article about it
508
00:20:56,715 --> 00:20:58,966
before Perry threw it out
and changed the paper.
509
00:20:58,967 --> 00:21:01,051
Then maybe it's time to
change the paper again
510
00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:03,929
by making you editor-in-chief
of the Daily Planet.
511
00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:06,640
- If that's what you want.
- Really? How would you do that?
512
00:21:06,641 --> 00:21:07,933
It's funny. I just remembered
513
00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:09,643
I bought this newspaper
a few years ago.
514
00:21:09,644 --> 00:21:12,396
- The whole paper?
- It's like a reflex with me.
515
00:21:12,397 --> 00:21:13,564
Oh, God.
We're gonna die in here.
516
00:21:13,565 --> 00:21:15,190
I can't die in here.
517
00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:16,608
Eh, there are worse ways to go.
518
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:18,986
Really, Sharon? Than
starving to death,
519
00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:22,239
shrunk inside a bottle,
on a spaceship? Pray tell.
520
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:25,576
Look on the bright side. At
least it's a fun obituary.
521
00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:30,497
You started all
this, snap out of it
522
00:21:30,498 --> 00:21:32,958
- and figure out how to save us.
- Hmm?
523
00:21:35,712 --> 00:21:37,921
- Harley.
- This is all my fault.
524
00:21:37,922 --> 00:21:39,590
I'm the
one who wanted us
525
00:21:39,591 --> 00:21:42,301
to move to Metropolis,
and if we hadn't,
526
00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:44,261
Lena would've...
Wouldn't have succeeded,
527
00:21:44,262 --> 00:21:46,096
and we'd still be
eating food in bed
528
00:21:46,097 --> 00:21:47,765
back in Gotham.
529
00:21:47,766 --> 00:21:48,932
No, sweetie.
530
00:21:48,933 --> 00:21:51,602
Lena was gonna do this
with or without you.
531
00:21:51,603 --> 00:21:53,854
But she's not gonna get
away with it, right?
532
00:21:53,855 --> 00:21:54,938
This isn't over yet.
533
00:21:54,939 --> 00:21:58,109
I just wanted things
to be perfect.
534
00:22:01,112 --> 00:22:03,406
Me too.
535
00:22:11,331 --> 00:22:12,707
I need you.
39117
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