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When I Was Dead
A Comedy in 3 Acts
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The Husband: Ernst Lubitsch
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The Wife: Louise Schenrich
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The Mother-in Law: Lanchen Voss
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Dear Mr. Ernst Lubitsch,
We invite you to our tournament this evening.
The Chess Club
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Stay Here!
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At the Chess Club
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1 o'clock in the morning
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I heard of someone who died of playing chess.
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Well! Finally!
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Checkmate!
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Well, you deserve it.
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Sleep, child, sleep!
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In my house, I wear the pants.
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But only the underpants.
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Dear Husband!
Since I do not want to regret my life because of your passions,...
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it is better that we divorce. One of us has to leave the house today.
Louise.
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She knows where the carpenter has left a hole. (in your head!)
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Faster, faster.
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Dear Wife!
When you read these lines, I will no longer be alive.
Goodbye forever!
Your Ernst
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Moritz Marriage Agency
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At the marriage agency
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Do you have someone in the pipeline?
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Come tomorrow afternoon to the Cafe Kaiser. I'll present my daughter.
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Living this way does not make much sense.
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What should I do with you?
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An intelligent young man wanted for housework...
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in a grand house at Hohenzollerndamm 117
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That's my house.
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You're hired..
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This can be very nice.
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Ernst takes the job
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Entry for servants and tradesmen
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I like this man.
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The old one is just jealous.
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May I present myself to Madam ..?
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Do you have any old clothes to sell?
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25 Marks for all the stuff.
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Throw this picture in the garbage can.
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When I Was Dead
Act III
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A new suitor is expected for dinner.
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This is where our guest sits.
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He can wait for a while.
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My husband, a good soul.
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After dinner.
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A few days later. Ernst takes his mother-in-law to the theater.
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Don't tell anyone else, or I will be very embarrassed.
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Only if you leave here immediately and we never see you again.
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Disappear, like the sausage in the pantry.
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The next morning.
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Don't you know you are supposed to have been dead for a long time?
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