Original subtitles

♪ You woke up this morning Got yourself a gun ♪

♪ Your mama always said You'd be the chosen one ♪

♪ She said "You're one in a million ♪

♪ And you've got to burn To shine" ♪

♪ But you were born Under a bad sign ♪

♪ With a blue moon In your eyes ♪

♪ And you woke up this morning And all that love had gone ♪

♪ Your papa never told you About right and wrong ♪

♪ But you're looking good, Baby ♪

♪ I believe that You're afeelin' fine ♪

♪ No shame about it ♪

♪ Born under a bad sign ♪

♪ With a blue moon In your eyes ♪

♪ Sing it now ♪

♪ Woke up this morning ♪

♪ You got a blue moon ♪

♪ Got a blue moon In your eyes ♪

♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ Woke up this morning ♪

♪ You say you woke up This morning ♪

♪ The world turned Upside down ♪

♪ Lordy, brother Things ain't been the same ♪

♪ Since the blues Walked in our town ♪

♪ But you're one In a million ♪

♪ 'Cause you got That shotgun shine ♪

♪ No shame about it Born under a bad sign ♪

♪ With a blue moon In your eyes, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ Woke up this morning ♪

♪ Got yourself a gun ♪

♪ Woke up this morning ♪ ♪ Got yourself a gun ♪

♪ Got yourself a gun ♪

I want you to count backwards from 10.

Ten. Nine.

Eight...

Mr. Soprano, there's someone here to see you.

Even here you hector me?

The Director has authorized us to make you an offer.

Give up your nephew Tony, cooperate fully,

help take him down.

What do I get?

A guaranteed cure.

No more cancer?

Not a single diseased cell.

I'm happy for you, Junior.

I know you've waited a long time to...

Stay home, clip your coupons, be a happy man.

I don't like it.

Don't let certain people take advantage of your good nature.

I'm kidding you, you old fuck.

Peppers and eggs.

Dr. Kennedy.

It's Dr. Enloe.

I have the results of the frozen section.

Can we move this along, Dr. Enloe?

I have a thyroid in O.R. 6 at 10:30.

Based on the preliminary results of the frozen section

and depending, of course, on the full path report...

Is it clean, Enloe, or not?

Yes, it's clean.

Miles, you close.

Let's do it quickly.

I got his BP back up,

but I don't know how long it'll hold.

Watch and learn, Miles.

Watch and learn.

Well?

Your uncle is a very strong man, Mr. Soprano.

He did very well.

The news is all good.

Beautiful.

- So the cancer is... - Gone? You bet.

I took a tumor the size of a fist out of his stomach.

Oh, Marone.

So if you'll excuse me, I have another patient waiting.

- Cheryl, make sure that Marty... - Doc?

gets that Goldman-Sachs statement.

Yes?

I, uh, just want to say thanks.

You know, my uncle thinks the world of you.

And if there's ever anything I can do.

A favor, anything, let me know.

I'll keep that in mind, Mr. Soprano.

Game three.

That's $60.

Good luck getting it.

Hey, I fucking won, Paulie. It's only right you pay me.

- And for other things too. - Like what?

Ah-ha fucking Dom Perignon for everybody in the skybox

at the Garden the other night.

Check comes, suddenly you're MIA.

Chrissy, you're too fucking worried about what I give you.

Worry a little more about what you give me.

Blow me with your lectures, Paulie.

Kid, you wearing a wire?

You fucking crazy?

Pasqual, pat him down.

He fucking touches me...

Then make it easy on us all. Take 'em off. Everything.

New York re-opened the books, but they also laid it down.

Probationary period.

When I was coming up,

this would never happen to new made guys.

But too many people are doing a simulcast.

Maybe you, you fuck.

Do me a favor and don't take it personally.

- I said everything. - Go fuck yourself.

Before, I was breaking balls.

Now, you're beginning to worry me.

I guess you could call that a dick.

You're going, young man. That's all there is to it.

Jason Mangelli isn't going.

Tony, you wanna weigh in here?

Tony?

- What? - The Washington trip?

No, you're gonna be on that school bus to D.C. tomorrow.

You're all packed and paid for,

and you're gonna pay attention,

and you're gonna learn something for a change.

We're going to FBI headquarters.

So?

Excuse me.

What did you do to this 'scarole?

It's delicious.

Balsamic.

That's all they have at King's these days.

Balsamic, balsamic, balsamic.

My mother never heard of balsamic.

All right, I gotta go.

Problems at work.

It's Sunday dinner, Tony.

I know. I gotta go.

All right, Hugh, see you later.

- Can I be excused too? - No, you may not.

He's got homework to finish before the trip.

Go ahead, Anthony.

That's a nice example he sets for his son.

Ma.

The man's got two speeds:

moping or yelling, when he's here.

He's got an uncle sick with cancer.

Oh, please. They didn't speak for a year.

Actually, if you must know, Tony has been a little better.

We've been seeing his therapist together.

What?

He's no Angelo Stamfa, that's all.

What is that supposed to mean?

You know Angelo was dying to marry you.

And now, Stamfa's is a chain of drugstores.

So, what, he doesn't need therapy?

He prescribes his own tranquilizers?

- Don't be so sensitive. - What sensitive?

I gotta hear this Angelo Stamfa shit again?

All I was saying was...

I know what you were saying.

Hugh, bring your plate!

You are blowing this all out of proportion.

We worry about you, that's all.

Well, spare me your concern, all right?

And spare me your attitude too.

Or maybe you forgot,

Dad's little strip mall on Route 17 was zoned residential

until Tony made a phone call.

- Bullshit. - Oh, really, Dad?

The contract you got to do at Sparta High

for the hurricane repairs.

What, all the other builders were too busy to bid?

Oh, please. My heart bleeds.

What, the waters don't part for you wherever you go?

I earn it.

You two get a free pass.

Hey.

- Ton', what's up? = Hey, Tony.

♪ I wanna know ♪

♪ Can you help me? ♪

♪ I'd love to stay ♪

♪ But take me to the river ♪

♪ Drop me in the water ♪

♪ Take me to the river... ♪

Anyway, four dollars a pound.

♪ Put me in the water ♪

Who brought this in here?

Georgie.

It's wacky, huh?

♪ Take me to the river... ♪

What do you think, it's a fucking playroom back there?

What, Ton'?

What, what? Fucking toys?

This is a place of business. That's an office back there.

I saw it at Rite Aid. They were selling them.

What? What did you say?

Fuck you say to me?

I pay you a fucking salary!

♪ All right ♪

♪ She moves In mysterious ways ♪

Carmela.

You sounded tense on the phone.

Yeah, I...

I just wanted to make sure it was okay if I came alone.

I mean, because Tony couldn't make it.

I love the artwork you have out there.

Those country scenes.

Thank you.

That statue is not my favorite.

Oh, come on.

Look, it's not like this when me and Tony are here together.

You never give him the silent treatment.

Is that what you think?

I'm giving you the silent treatment?

Maybe you could tell me why you came today.

I'm worried about my husband.

The mood swings.

I thought, you know, when his mother died, maybe...

But still, half the time, he doesn't even talk to me.

You've seen him get like that,

that day he sat here like a wall.

I know that he's your patient

and I am only the patient's wife,

but you try living with that 24 hours a day,

seven days a week, see how you feel.

I see.

Oh, you do?

Well, for your information, I am not the only one.

The fact is, Tony isn't under the weather today,

he just didn't feel like coming.

"Fuck that shit," I think he said, okay?

Usually happens when we touch on a nerve.

He was distressed about this young man's death

in the garbage compactor.

See, he didn't say, "garbage compactor," did he?

See?

What is it you believe?

You know about his job.

He reports to a strip club.

Who knows how he spends his days?

I'm sorry, I'm just frustrated, that's all.

Tony's been out of sorts for so long, and there is...

There is nothing I can do to help him.

I think coming to therapy with him

has stirred up a lot of feelings in you

that you would like to address with somebody.

Oh, please.

I'm just a little emotional today.

I would like to help you.

But as you've pointed out,

your husband is my patient.

I am not the one who needs mental help.

I just needed to vent.

In case you change your mind,

here's the number of a colleague in Livingston.

He was a teacher of mine.

That really won't be necessary, but thank you anyway.

Here.

Thank you for your time.

You took these yourself?

That's a Samoan village I lived in for a month.

You could send these in to National Geographic.

So I, uh,

got back your complete surgical pathology and op reports.

I feel 100%.

That's good.

It is possible, though,

that there may be some malignant cells we didn't get.

See, when we operate,

we have to decide how much healthy tissue

to cut around the tumor.

Okay? The margins weren't wide enough.

We took a small sampling of the tumor from the frozen section.

When we got back the complete results,

it showed nodal involvement.

Don't blame yourself, Doc.

So, what do we do next?

It's called amended surgery.

Oh, Jesus.

Cut me again?

Mrs. Brody is here.

Don't let me keep you, Doc.

I am kinda backed up.

Let's schedule you for Tuesday at 6:00 a.m.

We can admit and prep you Monday night.

Any questions?

When can he eat regular food again?

I'd guess two weeks.

Let's fill out the surgical consent forms and sign.

That's one less thing you have to deal with in the hospital.

Take all the time you need to read them.

No need. You say sign, I sign.

You tell me to take a crap on the deck of the Queen Mary,

an hour later, they're hosing her down with disinfectant.

I owe you everything, Doc.

How do I know what nodal involvement means?

Well, didn't you fucking listen?

A whole issue of U.S. News on seniors and health.

"Bring somebody with you to the doctor's," it said.

Somebody to ask questions.

You ask one dumb fucking question about my diet.

Angie?

Carmela!

- Hi. - Hi.

What a surprise.

I didn't know you shopped over here.

They're running a special on Iams.

Every penny counts these days.

How are you doing, Angie, with Pussy gone?

Oh, you know.

I'll tell you, shopping for one is no picnic.

Why don't you come for dinner?

It's just me and Tony,

with Mead at school, A.J.'s on a field trip.

Who knows? Maybe we'll get lucky and Tony won't show.

Oh, that's Coco's worst time of the day. I can't leave her.

Angie, that dog is not a substitute for human contact.

That French poodle is all I got left of Sal.

24 years, he disappears one day, and I get left with a sick dog.

The vet says I should put her down,

but I want her to get another operation.

I remember when Sal was around,

there was nothing too good for that dog.

Yeah, but where am I gonna come up with $1,200?

I mean, Tony helps out, and I am so grateful.

It covers the basics, but anything extra,

there's no way, Carmela.

Jeez, Ange, I'm sorry.

That must be so tough.

I told the wallpaper guy this was okay.

Well, why did you do that?

Because I didn't want to deal with your parents anymore.

Anybody around here love the word "Jimmy Choo shoes"?

No way.

Oh, my God.

They're gorgeous.

Or would the lady prefer something in...

gold?

Say, a nice...

I don't know, whatever the fuck that is.

They're all yours, baby.

And they're from next season. You can't even buy 'em yet.

What size are these?

- Ten. - Ten?

That's Sasquatch size, Christopher.

I'm an 8 1/2.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Where'd I get 10 from?

Yeah, where?

So now what happens?

You gotta give them all back?

Temporarily.

I'll get you 8 1/2's tomorrow.

All of them?

You swear?

More even.

Since you been, you know, "in,"

I just can't believe the stuff we get.

It's so great.

Except for that spaccone Paulie.

Fuck him and the Coupe de Ville he rode in on.

What, he saying you're holding back again?

Like I'm gonna give that prick a full share?

Come here.

Yeah.

What do you say?

I love you, baby.

Oh, you fucking better.

You better. I do.

You could've called.

Now everything's cold.

Well, that's why they invented microwaves,

for inconsiderate husbands.

It's just that since we're alone,

it would be nice to have dinner together.

All right, don't bust my chops, Carmela, I got a lot on my mind.

This is fucking delicious.

Really.

Is this the pecorino?

Right.

The hell with heating it up.

It's good like this.

I'm glad something brings you joy.

You're amazing, your cooking.

I'm having lunch with our daughter's dean tomorrow.

I gather you won't be joining me.

I told you, all he wants is our money.

Fine.

We already shell out 40 grand a year to those people.

It's well spent. She's really learning.

She's out on her own. And if she passes us by...

If?

She did that when she was 14.

Isn't that what you want for your kids?

No. I want them to be backwards and ignorant,

and sit around with their thumb up their ass,

and I'm gonna make sure of that by not going to lunch

with some asshole who's trying to shake me down.

Fine, Tony, don't go.

Guess who I ran into at the supermarket today.

Angie Bonpensiero.

Really?

How's she doing?

Her dog is sick.

What, that fluffy French Coco piece of shit?

- What's wrong with him? - Her. Osteoporosis.

Angie needs money for an operation.

Well, take it up with Pussy.

If you can find the fat fuck,

wherever the feds put him.

I'd look in Arizona.

You know, stake out all the TGI Fridays.

He loves their wings.

He left Angie holding the bag, which is not right.

And those FBI family value-loving cocksuckers,

how could they let him go without his wife?

Into the Program?

Yeah, that's right.

He ratted us out, Carm. Me and you.

And that's where he is.

And I don't want to hear about him ever again.

Or his ungrateful cunt wife.

His what wife?

Okay, who was your oldest?

Easy. Chuckie Periccio's mother.

Shut up!

You had sex with Beverly Periccio?

Yeah. A whole summer's worth.

Okay, my turn.

Who was your most famous?

And Bobby DiTillio doesn't count.

He's only famous in New Jersey.

Okay.

You know Penn and Teller, the magicians?

You fucked them?

Penn. And I didn't fuck him. I gave him head.

Which one is he?

The big one.

They were playing A.C., and they're funny as hell.

I was there with Georgette.

He followed me into the ladies' room and he asked...

You low-life cunt whore.

Get the fuck out of my sight!

Ow, you fucking shitbag motherfucker!

In the fucking bathroom? Ow.

Who is it?

The FBI.

Come on, dickhead, open up.

For fuck's sake, Paulie, it's 2:00 in the morning.

I know. It's an outrage.

Adriana, you in there?

Yeah.

Sorry for the intrusion, honey.

Put something on and come out here.

You can't fucking do this like this.

I can't?

You must've not read up on the latest rules.

And put that piece away.

What's all this?

The Berezovsky brothers jacked a shipment from Milan

off Pier 87.

These are for Ade.

Nice goods.

My broad wears a size 10.

Patsy, pack up some of these shoes.

Chrissy, you don't mind if I take my taste now?

He's not taking those.

Make yourselves comfortable.

We'll just have a little look around.

I'm still gonna get more shoes, right?

I don't know. Now I have to go into my pocket for them.

This really sucks, Christopher.

You see the shit I go through?

Motherfucker!

What?

Nothing!

♪ One last time From Freddy's joint ♪

♪ We drove out To lover's point ♪

♪ Shared our last kiss Eye to eye ♪

♪ Spoke of tender times Long past ♪

♪ Said they weren't Meant to last ♪

♪ Too many different needs To satisfy ♪

♪ She wants New shoulders to cry on ♪

♪ New back seat to lie on ♪

♪ And she always Gets her way ♪

Leave it on, it's nice.

♪ She wants to see Other guys ♪

♪ Get lost in other eyes ♪

♪ Baby's in the black books ♪

♪ Yes, she's in The black books today ♪

Thirty pages that are due.

Good.

I'm pissed.

Meadow?

Well, didn't you hear me knocking?

I was sleeping. I thought it was Vanessa.

You don't answer the door when your friends knock?

They keep you from studying.

And my first class isn't until 2:00.

Well, I brought your laundry,

and I made you the ziti with the sweet sausage that you like.

Oh, I'm so starved.

There.

Jesus, it reeks of cigarettes in here.

You're not smoking, are you?

Caitlin.

There.

I hope you're taking advantage of some of these offers here.

Look at this.

A boy just handed this to me.

A seminar on the CIA and the cultural cold war.

Look at this.

This looks interesting.

It's basic. We're way past that.

I'm reading the new Barbara Kingsolver.

I so wish I had time for fiction.

So how is the drama queen doing, anyway?

Fine. Can we not talk about this, please?

I'm trying very hard here, Mead.

If you want me to leave, I will leave.

I have an hour before my lunch with Dean Ross.

You're going to lunch with the dean?

Can we not talk about this now, please?

- Mom! - Yeah.

His secretary called last week and invited me.

Come on, what about?

Money, I'm sure.

- They want a donation from us. - How corrupt.

The real reason I stopped by to see you, though,

was to make sure you're recovered from this Noah thing.

I'm worried it'll affect your grades.

You call losing a wonderful man because of Dad a "thing"?

Now, is that really what happened?

Because you certainly kept seeing him

plenty long enough after that business with your father.

Look, don't drag me into whatever bullshit

accommodational pretense you've got worked out with Daddy.

What was that, last night's reading assignment?

All right.

Let's hear it.

What's your big theory about me and Daddy?

No way.

I'm not touching that.

Fucking bitch!

Uncle Jun', what the hell are you doing?

Those marshals see you coming in here?

'Cause I need being remanded

to a fucking jail hospital right now

like I need a fucking case of crabs.

There's no car out there today,

and I came up through the cellar like always.

Where the fuck is Bacala?

He's supposed to be doing this shit for you.

I sent him to the drugstore for more Pepto.

Well, you know, you're getting better.

That's the important thing.

You look better too.

If you're gonna lie to me,

tell me there's a broad waiting in the car,

wants to tongue my balls.

Hey, you want that, it's a phone call away.

Still want this?

I gotta get nutrition somehow.

Kennedy says eat only what I can sip through a straw.

What's going on with you and Ralphie Cifaretto?

Bacala tells me there's bad blood now.

Why, you don't got enough on your plate?

I mean, in your blender?

Worry about your own problems.

When'd they say you could eat real food?

Who knows? Kennedy's putting me under the knife again.

Whoa, back up.

More surgery?

Don't you think you should talk to somebody else?

You know, get a second opinion?

Chemo? Forget it.

With Kennedy it's cut, zip, over and out.

He has the hands of an angel.

And don't forget his name.

What, I'm supposed to be impressed

because the man's name is John Kennedy?

All the micks named their kids that after the guy got killed.

I loved that man.

He was older than me, and now look.

You were gone a long time.

How many White Castles did you have?

I didn't, I swear.

I can smell them.

Let me call Cusamano.

He knows doctors in the city.

He sent Silvio's mother to one.

It can't hurt to make a call.

People come from the city to see Kennedy.

Good, then we won't be fighting traffic.

Come on, Uncle Jun'.

You know I'm right.

All right, you set it up.

You come with me...

to listen and ask questions.

Good, good.

I'll let you know, all right?

All right.

My nephew thinks I need a second opinion.

He doesn't like it that I'm going back under the knife.

Maybe there's something to that.

Another expert heard from.

Think on this, burger boy.

Anthony is a cunt hair away from owning all of northern Jersey.

And I am that cunt hair.

So maybe he has something else on his mind beside my full,

complete and speedy recovery.

Oh, Junior, all this cynicism. This can't be good for you.

- Giorgio. - Si?

Ah, bene.

You speak Italian.

Second generation.

Really? Ross?

Rosetti.

A thousand years of a proud name

undone with one stroke of a pen at Ellis Island.

A paisan.

And not far from you either. New Brunswick.

- Oh, get out! - Any success I may have,

I credit to the Jersey public schools.

They were something in those days.

Where did you go to college?

- Rutgers. - I went to Montclair State.

Good school. What was your major?

Business Administration.

To Meadow Soprano,

a valuable addition to the Columbia community.

Really?

Absolutely.

I don't know her personally,

but I've talked to her professors.

They say she's attentive, inquiring, does all her work,

and makes insightful contributions

to class discussions.

I am so glad to hear you say that.

And here I was worried about her adjusting.

Let's not tell her, though. We don't want her overconfident.

It seems like she sleeps an awful lot.

They all do.

Tony, what the hell?

You know, Ange, driving over here,

I was thinking about how I was gonna handle this.

Been working on my anger lately,

so I figured it'd be good if I could just quietly say,

any kind of problem you got,

financial or otherwise,

you know, you come directly to me.

Please, leave Carmela the fuck out of it.

- You know, like that. - Of course.

Then I saw the Cadillac.

The money I give you,

you're driving a Cadillac and you're looking for more?

Shot the whole plan.

So remember this:

you see my wife, you talk about oven cleaner.

Anything else, you come to me.

But think twice before you do.

Think about that fat fuck husband of yours,

and what he did to you.

Him, not me.

Coco, please. Coco, down.

Hey, hey, how are you?

I'm sorry, Tony. I'm sorry.

Just push her away.

No, she's all right.

Good girl. Good girl.

She don't look sick.

It comes and goes.

So your children don't feel boxed in by the city?

We're out all the time.

Lately, Felicia has us all into kayaking on the Hudson.

- Oh, you all do it together? - Yeah. The kids love it too.

They're already better at it than I am.

More wine? Why not?

Remember I told you I spend about half my time

involved in student affairs?

Well, this is how I spend the other half.

Taking parents to lunch?

Development.

A fancy word for fundraising.

The new student center.

We break ground next fall.

See the large black marble wall to the right of the entrance?

Ah, yes.

That's where the donor names will be inscribed.

Everybody who donates gets their name up there?

The wall is reserved for people whose commitment begins

at the $50,000 level.

Fifty thousand?

It's what the giving committee felt you'd be comfortable with.

Based on your past generosity to the Verbum Dei school.

You know what we gave to Verbum Dei?

I'm half embarrassed to say it, but it's my job to know.

All the information, including tax benefits,

is in here.

Well, I will have to talk to my husband.

Fifty grand?

You gotta be kidding me.

He talked an awful lot

about Meadow's having the best possible university experience.

Yeah, those Jew pricks are holding her hostage.

He's Italian.

Jews with better food.

They know from Verbum we're big givers.

We gave five grand a year. That's a long way from 50.

This is college, Tony. New York City.

Five thousand is a slap in the face to these people.

Well, let them say no.

Here.

It's around five grand.

Run it through your household account

so you can write him a check.

And that's it. Not a penny more.

A 5FU based regimen with cisplatin and doxorubicin.

This is the treatment I would recommend.

Are you getting this?

Sort of.

So the chemotherapy would be instead of the surgery?

But I can't guarantee even that.

We'll have to evaluate the results of the treatment.

I could end up having the chemo, puking my guts out,

having the six hairs I have left fall out

and still have to be cut again.

I'm afraid that's a possibility.

You see? With Kennedy,

you don't get these "maybes" and "possibilities."

Yeah, but you gotta have the surgery again.

Dr. Kennedy is an excellent surgeon.

Isn't there some way you people could just agree?

Sure. Convene a tumor board.

What the hell is that?

A meeting of the chief of oncology,

an oncological pathologist,

and other specialists who then work together

to reach a consensus.

Then I guess you hear what they have to say?

Well, your uncle will not be present.

They will pass their decision along to both of you.

What you do then is still your decision.

And Kennedy will be there?

I assure you, no surgeon would miss it.

Not much to him, if you ask me.

What, you mean he's not Kennedy?

You make life and death decisions

because of a man's name.

It's only Sloan fucking Kettering,

the best cancer hospital in the whole world.

Excuse me.

And let me ask you something about this JFK worship of yours.

What about Hoffa and the Teamsters?

That was the brother.

Oh.

Dr. Krakower?

Hi, yes, thanks for calling me back.

I was referred by a Dr. Jennifer Melfi.

Yes, I would.

Any time that's good for you.

That's great. That's fine.

Grove Avenue, right.

Okay, I gotta go, bye-bye.

Who was that?

It's the paving guy.

I'm thinking of having the driveway redone.

You smoking?

What is this, the third degree?

This says "with pulp."

You like it with pulp.

Not this much.

I like the one that says "some pulp."

What the fuck was that for?

I'll write you up a list.

Hi.

Oh, honey, I missed you so much!

Come here.

You know, I figured out that this is the longest

we have ever been away from each other.

- Did you miss me? - Sure.

Somebody drop this?

Well, how was it?

Yeah, it was pretty good.

They had PlayStation 2 right in the hotel room.

And?

That was the sum total of your trip to your nation's capital?

I guess.

All right, I'm sorry.

Hey, the orange juice is fine.

Whatever kind you wanna get is fine.

Fuck the orange juice.

All right, I give up. What then?

All the money you give to Angie Bonpensiero

and who knows what other widows you've got on your payroll.

It's a business expense.

But there's not enough to make sure

your own daughter is protected?

I won't pay.

I know too much about extortion.

Big deal, he pat you down.

Pat me down, I could do standing on my head.

It's every fucking thing else.

He came into my apartment in the middle of the night

and embarrassed the shit out of me in front of Adriana.

Yeah, I heard he strip-searched you.

I'm not fucking kidding, Tony.

He's a sick fuck.

He was sniffing her fucking panties.

- What? - You heard me.

Look, I don't deny that Paulie could be a little quirky.

He always has.

Christopher, you're moving up very fast.

Why do you think that is?

Are you gonna say it's because I'm your fucking nephew?

So be a big boy and suck it up.

The patient... Soprano, comma, Corrado.

Male, Caucasian, 72 years old.

Presented three months ago with severe weight loss

and early satiety.

He was scoped, and a four millimeter mass

in the greater curvature of his stomach was detected.

A CT scan revealed no evidence of metastasis.

Dr. Kennedy was referred in,

and he recommended gastric resection for cure.

There were no surprises. I thought we had it.

I was told we had clean margins.

Often, too little healthy tissue

was taken from around the tumor site,

which leaves the possibility, as in this case,

for a false negative.

You want the man's whole stomach?

If there's a problem with the procedure,

we'll take it up on a board level.

Meanwhile, what are we gonna do with this guy?

He's high risk.

His pressure fell below 60 systolic

for eight minutes on the table.

The incision's still fresh. I can do it in half the time.

If we don't do surgery, we do 5FU.

Which works how well on an adenocarcinoma?

- Not very. - Which is why we decided

to go in, in the first place.

So, what do I tell Mehta?

Mehta?

Sloan-Kettering Mehta?

Your patient sought a second opinion with Dr. Mehta.

Forget it, then.

The last thing I need is to operate with that little shit

looking over my shoulder.

I'll tell him.

Yes, I'll have him there.

Thanks.

Don't sugarcoat it.

Oh!

If you concentrate on your breathing,

it'll be easier all around.

The girl said she'd page Dr. Kennedy.

Where the fuck is he?

All right, 20 minutes and I'll be back.

You go too easy on him.

Probably.

Hey, if my nephew Cubby wasn't dead,

I'd have a soft spot for him.

Did you sniff that girl's panties?

He told you that?

Fucking baby!

You got to apologize.

T, I'm not apologizing to him.

You were out of line.

He's gonna marry the girl, for chrissakes.

As of the wedding day,

anything that touches her pussy is off-limits.

You think it's all up?

Soon enough there'll be more where that came from.

Sounds like you were going at it pretty good in there.

My pain a source of entertainment to you?

You see me laughing?

I brought you a milkshake from 31 Flavors.

Ah, it's all your fucking fault anyway.

I'm throwing up day and night since I started the chemo.

Oh, right.

I gave you cancer.

You don't know what this is like, Anthony.

I can't do it.

Kennedy was right.

What's he got to say?

I can't get him on the phone.

The nurses won't put me through to him.

- Why not? - I leave messages

at the hospital, at the office.

I sent him a box of Cohibas.

I couldn't get past reception.

He didn't call you back?

Who knows if they even tell him?

Last night, the machine says,

"If it's an emergency, press six."

So I press six.

Still no call back, 24 hours later.

He must be very busy.

Yeah.

That must be it.

You got his number?

Three more weeks.

Three more fucking weeks.

His fucking answering machine.

What are you gonna do?

These doctors, it's not like on TV.

Dr. Kennedy, this is Tony Soprano,

Corrado Soprano's nephew.

My cell phone is 917-555-0157.

Call me back any time, day or night.

It's important.

Batter up.

Bye.

- Now what? - Get in.

You're not even married yet,

you're dipping into whores already.

Didn't cost me a quarter. I don't pay for it.

How'd you find me?

Better be careful.

If I can do it, so can your bride-to-be.

So, what is this, huh? Some new rule about who I fuck?

You want more shoes, what?

No.

Funny thing is, they don't even fit her.

I don't know why I thought she was a size 10.

I don't know either.

I'm here to tell you one thing.

You ever go whining to the big man again

about shit between you and me,

we'll have a problem, my friend.

You seen these?

Fuck is that?

My godson got it for me.

They're all over the fucking place.

We gotta bring one into the club.

♪ Young man ♪

♪ There's no need To feel down ♪

♪ I said, young man ♪

♪ Pick yourself Off the ground ♪

♪ There's no need To be unhappy ♪

♪ It's fun to stay At the YMCA ♪

♪ It's fun to stay At the YMCA ♪

Watch and learn, Phil.

Watch and learn.

What are you doing?

Hey, Doc. It's me, Tony.

Corrado Soprano's nephew.

You belong to this club?

Me? No, no, no, no, no. I came here to see you.

Well, if it's about your uncle, you'll have to call my office.

Well, you might need a new secretary,

I don't think you're getting all your messages.

Oh. For you.

Titanium.

I use one.

Added ten yards to my drives.

Thanks, but I really can't accept it.

For everything you've done for my uncle.

Anyway, what am I gonna do with it?

I already got one,

and Mr. Williams here, he don't play.

Right?

Stupid fucking game.

What can I do with it?

What is it, Jack?

Oh, he'll just be a minute!

Well, I could use a little extra distance.

Who couldn't?

You know, my uncle, he's not doing so well.

He's got a bad reaction to that chemo.

That happens all the time.

There's nothing that I can really do.

You know, there are worse things

that can happen to a person than cancer.

My uncle thinks he's gonna die.

He's convinced of it.

Now, you know how old people are with their superstitions.

He thinks it's because he went against you.

I was his surgeon, that's all.

You got a bee on you hat.

Show that man the respect he deserves.

Answer his phone calls.

Cheryl, make sure Mr. Soprano is scheduled for...

Just remember it.

Everybody's marriage has problems.

Is he seeing another woman?

Yeah, you can make that plural.

Yes, he sees other women.

I sort of look the other way.

I want to help him.

Do you?

Moments ago you used the word "divorce."

I said I was considering divorce.

I may be overstepping my boundaries here,

but you are Jewish, aren't you?

Is that relevant?

Well, us Catholics,

we place a great deal of stock in the sanctity of the family.

And I am not sure that your people...

I've been married for 31 years.

Well, then you know how difficult it can be.

He's a good man. He's a good father.

You tell me he's a depressed criminal.

Prone to anger.

Serially unfaithful.

Is that your definition of a good man?

I thought psychiatrists weren't supposed to be judgmental.

Many patients want to be excused for their current predicament

because of events that occurred in their childhood.

That's what psychiatry has become in America.

Visit any shopping mall or ethnic pride parade

to witness the results.

What we say in here stays in here, right?

By ethical code and by law.

His crimes...

...they are...

organized crime.

The Mafia?

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, so what?

So what?

He betrays me every week with these whores.

Probably the least of his misdeeds.

You can leave now, or you can stay

and hear what I have to say.

Well, you're gonna charge the same anyway.

I won't take your money.

That's a new one.

You must trust your initial impulse

and consider leaving him.

You'll never be able to feel good about yourself.

You'll never be able to quell the feelings of guilt and shame

that... that you talk about...

as long as you're his accomplice.

You're wrong about the accomplice part, though.

Are you sure?

All I do is make sure he's got clean clothes in his closet,

and dinner on his table.

So, "enabler" would be a more accurate job description for you

than "accomplice."

My apologies.

So...

you think I need to define my boundaries more clearly.

Keep a certain distance.

- Not internalize my... - What did I just say?

Leave him. Take only the children,

what's left of them, and go.

My priest said I should try and work with him,

help him to be a better man.

How's that going?

I...

Have you ever read Crime and Punishment?

Dostoyevsky.

It's not an easy read.

It's about guilt and redemption.

And I think were your husband to turn himself in,

read this book and reflect on his crimes

every day for seven years in his cell,

then he might be redeemed.

I would have to get a lawyer,

find an apartment,

arrange for child support.

You're not listening.

I'm not charging you

because I won't take blood money.

And you can't, either.

One thing you can never say:

that you haven't been told.

I see.

You're right, I see.

You're fucking poisoning me.

I don't know how much more of this I can take.

You taking good care of this young man?

Jesus, Dr. Kennedy.

How you doing, guy?

I've been busy. You all right?

Oh, Doc, don't bullshit a bullshitter.

Is this shit gonna work,

or should we go back in the room?

You got a top guy here. Him?

He's the guy I'd go see if I needed to.

I'll be a son of a bitch.

Important thing is,

you stay strong and keep fighting, all right?

That's my home number.

You start to feel punk, you call me.

Thanks, Dr. Kennedy.

I'll check back on you Wednesday.

Take good care of this young fella.

Carm.

What?

You sick?

Everybody else in this family sleeps all day.

I thought I'd try it.

You, uh... depressed...

or what?

I figure in the division of labor around here,

that's your job.

'Cause, you know, if you want to go to therapy

on your own or something...

I noticed you've been a little tense lately.

That's rich.

You suggesting I go to a shrink.

I don't have the time.

I'll still go to yours, if you want.

You know best.

That dean called today.

Well, that can't be good.

I told him to put us down for the 50,000.

Carmela, I gave you five.

Now, all right, maybe I could go another five, maybe 10.

But that's enough.

Tony, you gotta do something nice for me today.

This is what I want.

You gotta do this.

All right, I'll go to 10.

That should be enough for those Morningside Heights gangsters.

I already told him 50.

Fifty G's.

Yes.

You look like you could use a night off from cooking.

What do you say we go out?

♪ One last time From Freddy's joint ♪

♪ We drove out To lover's point ♪

♪ Shared our last kiss Eye to eye ♪

♪ Spoke of tender times Long past ♪

♪ Said they weren't Meant to last ♪

♪ Too many different needs ♪

♪ To satisfy ♪

♪ She wants ♪

♪ New shoulders to cry on ♪

♪ New back seat to lie on ♪

♪ And she always Gets her way ♪

♪ She wants to see other guys ♪

♪ Get lost in other eyes ♪

♪ Baby's in the black books ♪

♪ Yes, she's in the black books ♪

♪ Today ♪