Original subtitles

♪ You woke up this morning Got yourself a gun ♪

♪ Your mama always said You'd be the chosen one ♪

♪ She said "You're one in a million ♪

♪ And you've got to burn To shine" ♪

♪ But you were born Under a bad sign ♪

♪ With a blue moon In your eyes ♪

♪ And you woke up this morning And all that love had gone ♪

♪ Your papa never told you About right and wrong ♪

♪ But you're looking good Baby ♪

♪ I believe that You're afeelin' fine ♪

♪ No shame about it ♪

♪ Born under a bad sign ♪

♪ With a blue moon In your eyes ♪

♪ Sing it now ♪

♪ Woke up this morning ♪

♪ You got a blue moon ♪

♪ Got a blue moon In your eyes ♪

♪ Woke up this morning ♪

♪ You say you woke up This morning ♪

♪ The world turned Upside down ♪

♪ Lordy, brother Things ain't been the same ♪

♪ Since the blues Walked in our town ♪

♪ But you're one in a million ♪

♪ 'Cause you got That shotgun shine ♪

♪ No shame about it Born under a bad sign ♪

♪ With a blue moon In your eyes, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ Woke up this morning ♪

♪ Got yourself a gun ♪

♪ Woke up this morning ♪ ♪ Got yourself a gun ♪

♪ Got yourself a gun ♪

♪ I'm your captain I'm your captain ♪

♪ Though I'm feeling ♪

♪ Mighty sick ♪

♪ Everybody... ♪

Hey, you got your crescent wrench?

Fucking thing, nobody ever puts it back...

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Tony!

Tony!

Oh, my God, Tony, are you all right?

Uncle Ben.

What happened?

Hey. What are you doing here?

We had to drive out here 'cause some schmuck

stole the VCR from the common room.

Public Enemy.

This is a great movie.

For a class. Just finished.

We're out of here.

Forty grand a year to watch old movies? Who's "we"?

Just a friend from class, okay?

Your mom likes lavender.

I'll be ready to bolt in a sec.

- Mr. Soprano? - Yeah.

Hey, I'm Noah Tannenbaum.

How you doing?

Appreciate you letting us screen here.

Those Bose direct reflectors make all the difference.

You a film buff?

People say Hawks invented the genre with Scarface,

but Cagney was modernity.

Muni was not, so I give the nod to William Wellman.

Noah, I'm just gonna grab the Barenaked Ladies CD,

and then let's hit the road.

Last year this course is being offered.

"Images of Hypercapitalist SelfAdvancement

in the Era of the Studio System."

So you guys, um...

you know, you and Meadow, are you, uh...?

Little early to say.

What's your background, Noel?

Noah.

I'm from Los Angeles. West L.A.

- No, what I mean is... - My family's in the business.

I mean show business.

I don't know why they call it "the business."

Those old Tarzan movies?

My dad's an entertainment lawyer.

Oh.

No, what I mean is, like, we're Italian.

Oh, my dad is Jewish

and my mother's family is African-American.

"Tannenbaum." Right.

But on your application to Columbia,

you didn't check "Jewish," did you?

No, they can't ask about religious affiliation.

Oh, right. Right, of course.

What'd you check?

African-American.

So we do understand each other here?

You're a ditsoon.

Excuse me?

A charcoal briquette.

A moolinyan.

What's your problem?

I think you know what my problem is.

You see, your little friend up there,

she didn't do you any favors bringing you into this house.

Now, I don't know what the fuck she was thinking.

We'll get to that later.

See, I got business associates who are black,

and they don't want my son with their daughters,

and I don't want their sons with mine.

Fuck you!

See, that's the kind of thing I'm hoping to avoid.

So when my little girl comes down the stairs,

you're gonna say how nice it was to meet me.

Then you're gonna go drop her off at school

and you're gonna say goodbye.

Come on if you want to see the Garden State.

We're gonna drop by Hunter's. I want her to meet Noah.

Then we'll be back to pick up my laundry.

Later, Dad.

I don't got time for these fucking attacks.

You were so good for months.

If you didn't instigate things...

- I instigate? - He's just a new friend, Tony.

You didn't see the way they were looking at each other.

You want her to be with him, just keep it up.

Keep playing the race card,

you're gonna drive her right into his arms.

Not if I cut off those fucking arms.

Stop it.

Let me deal with it,

if anybody's gonna deal with it.

Make things worse with your bullshit,

I'm gonna be really pissed.

I should call Cusamano.

You might need stitches.

Yeah, if one of my sisters ever brought home

a fucking butterhead,

you know what my old man would do?

Hey, Ma.

Look who calls.

Well, actually, I'm standing here in front of you.

Ah.

Hey.

So how's it going?

What do you care?

Out of sight, out of mind.

Brought you some books on tape,

since you say you can't concentrate to read.

I wish the Lord would take me now.

Well, in the meantime,

brought you The Horse Whisperer and Omerta.

Why? What's wrong, tell me?

What, are you gonna freak out

every time I try to do something nice for you?

Jesus.

What's this?

She's going to finish baby journals from long time ago.

My idea.

Oh, yeah, I remember these.

Carmela gave you one of these for each of the kids

when they were born.

What the fuck?

Look at this.

Supposed to fill these out. 20 years, fat fucking nothing.

Now, look here, I don't like that kind of talk.

Now, just stop it. It upsets me.

Carmela's mother returned these books to the kids

filled with memories.

You can't write stuff down from your life for your grandkids?

It's none of anybody's business.

Yeah, you're too busy feeling sorry for yourself.

She will do it.

It's good for her. She realize that.

Keep her mind active.

Why do anything if there's not something in it for her?

All right, listen up.

I want you to concentrate.

I know it's difficult.

Remember the airline tickets?

The tickets were stolen.

Did you say that, or did the feds say that?

What did you tell them when you were in the lockup?

Oh! What? What did I do?

This is important.

They're trying to build a RICO case against me.

What are you gonna say if they put you on the witness stand?

'Cause the only reason they let you go

is to get your cooperation.

Ah.

Don't wave your hankie at me.

What are you gonna say from now on?

I never stated those tickets were stolen, capisce?

Now, Barbara will testify I didn't say it,

but you gotta back her up.

I suppose I should've just kept my mouth shut, like a mute.

In the future,

any kind of deal they try to make,

you keep your mouth shut.

You know, for a year, I didn't speak to you.

Maybe I should've kept it that way.

Oh...

Fuck it, do what you want.

Did you say something to Noah?

If you're smart, you'll keep walking down those stairs.

You did. What did you say?

He was all quiet at Hunter's. She thinks he's a snob.

Now he's just sitting out in the car.

What, you didn't hear me?

Maybe if I say it in Swahili.

Meadow, can you come up here please?

What?

I need your help with this clasp.

That ain't our beer. Where'd you get this slop?

Well, it's good, ain't it? And it's cheaper than yours.

Is my laundry done?

You can sell ours for the same price.

I can't help it if I have to buy from Schemer Burns.

They tell me the same thing that you do. Ah, you're yellow.

Please, you ain't gonna slug me, are you?

What?

Your mother died.

You're kidding?

I mean, uh...

Jesus Christ.

Svetlana just called.

She said that after dinner,

your mother went upstairs to get ready for bed.

When Svetlana came up,

your mother was under the covers in her nightgown.

Svetlana thought she was asleep.

Svetlana's waiting for us over there.

She's dead.

I'm sorry, Dad...

that your mom died.

Me too.

Hey, your grandmother loved you.

She loved both you two very much.

They just removed.

We saw.

She was in no pain, Tony.

What about the cause of death? Did they say?

Massive stroke.

Yeah.

So, she will not be finishing journal.

I break promise to you, Tony.

Does not often happen with me,

that these old ones get away with something.

A journal?

Nothing.

Those "granny remembers" books

you bought her when the kids were born.

She never touched them.

What's your beef?

Asshole Robert Frost.

How am I supposed to know what this means?

Like I even care.

"Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening."

Oh, my God, I'm so glad I'm not in high school anymore.

- You read this? - Sure.

What does it mean?

I have to turn in a closeread by tomorrow.

What does it mean?

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep,

"but I have promises to keep

and miles to go before I sleep."

Okay, look, where is he?

He's in a field on a horse.

He's not on the horse.

The horse has bells.

- So? What kind of horse has bells?

I don't know!

Just give me the fucking answer so I can write this.

A horse that's pulling a sleigh.

Oh.

So this is a Thanksgiving poem,

like, "Over the River and Through the Woods,"

to grandma's house we go.

No, it's not a Thanksgiving poem.

What's covering the field?

- Snow. - Yay!

And what does snow symbolize?

Christmas?

Hello?

Cold, endless white.

Endless nothing?

I don't know!

- Death. - I thought black was death.

He has miles to go before he sleeps.

So, he must be far away from his house.

The sleep of death.

The big sleep.

He's talking about his own death,

which is yet to come, but will come.

That's fucked up.

Gotta go.

I thought black was death.

White too.

I'm coming, I'm coming!

Grandma?

I just can't believe it.

What are you gonna do?

I'll call Janice.

I'll meet you at Cozzerelli's around noon.

I already called.

Ma didn't want any kind of service, Tony.

No remembrance at all.

So, we'll pick out a simple urn or whatever.

I'll see you there.

Proshai, Livushka.

Which means what?

"Goodbye, little Livia."

He's been in this situation a million times,

and has upped the ante when needed.

Every time.

Ton'.

Anthony, turn that off.

I'm sorry.

We all know how much you loved her.

Thanks.

I could imagine how you feel.

Yeah, well...

what are you gonna do?

I'm sorry, T.

What are you gonna do, you know?

At least she didn't suffer.

- Thank God. - Absolutely.

That's right. That's right.

My God.

What next, huh?

How is Tony taking it?

Oh, what the fuck!

Goddamn fucking bitch!

She was so awful.

What do I tell my kids when their own aunt

won't even come to a funeral?

Take it easy, I'll handle it.

And then he goes, "You gotta work on Columbus Day weekend."

Eat your eggs, baby.

Ace Garage.

You're not coming to your own mother's fucking funeral?

May I speak?

You got your sister sobbing!

May I speak?

Go the fuck ahead!

You may recall, Tony,

that I have very good and valid reasons

why I should not present myself in the state of New Jersey.

Oh, Jesus, that case is colder than your tit.

It'd do you good to show up here at this point.

Nothing to hide!

I don't do well at funerals, Tony.

Who does? You just don't want to get your ass

out of whatever chair it's in.

I'm gonna hang the fuck up!

She didn't even want a funeral, Janice.

But can't you come sit with your family

during this stressful time?

She was your mother.

Well, you can just get on a plane,

but for us working folk...

Oh, listen to this. Woody Guthrie over here.

You know, they got special rates for family death.

Yeah, half of full fare coach,

which, at this late date, comes to $1,100.

Fully researched and everything, huh?

All right, fuck it, I'll pay it.

Can I bring my fiancée?

Fuck that! One seat, coach.

And if you don't show up, let me tell you right now,

don't come breezing in here when it's time to carve up the estate.

I know you think Ma's got money buried in the house.

What are you telling people about that other thing?

Richie? He vanished into the Witness Protection Program.

It's the truth, right, Janice?

Hm.

Cozzerelli's funeral home, noon tomorrow.

Does Harper know his grandmother died?

Him I'll pay for.

Bring him down from Montreal.

He is your son.

Hal is on the pavers, Tony.

He's, um... a street person.

I'm sorry, I didn't know.

See, you're not the only one with problems.

Be there tomorrow.

Ain't you got a drink in the house?

Oh, gee, I wish...

There you go with that wishing stuff again.

I wish you was a wishing well,

so that I could tie a bucket to you and sink you.

Maybe you found someone you like better.

Oh, Tommy!

Let me make you a cup of tea.

Well, listen, Ma, I came over to give you something.

Here, take this.

And when you need any more, just say so. I'm making plenty.

We don't want your money. I'm taking care of Ma.

- On two bits a week? - Ma don't go to nightclubs

- and she don't drink champagne. - How do you know?

I used to dance when I was a girl.

Money don't mean nothing to me.

No, I guess not, but with no heart and no brains,

that's all you've got, you'll need it.

Tommy, Tommy!

Oh, Tommy!

His mother died last night.

No shit?

Ton', I'm so sorry to hear.

What are you gonna do?

I know how you feel.

We lost Mom last year.

You remember?

At least she didn't suffer.

Ralphie, I need to talk to you. And, Albert...

...you too.

Vito, have a sfogliatell'.

Carmela, she's gone!

Come on.

All right, who gave the order to torch one of Albert's trucks?

One of the trucks.

Be quiet, Albert.

Talk to him. He lit up two of my Dumpsters.

What's the matter with you?

Both of you.

We're in the newspapers every fucking week with this shit.

My crew is in line

for the Raritan Township contract, okay?

This guy over there keeps whispering to Albert...

Your what? What did you say?

Whose crew?

You're the boss, you get to put in anybody you want over the crew.

You're a captain, Ralphie, when I say you're a captain.

And I'm gonna turn up my hearing aid so I don't miss it.

Oh, you're gonna get cute with me?

With my mother lying dead?

Raritan Township, the recycling manager over there, Joe Zachary,

he knows who's in line for that contract.

But he keeps playing footsie with Albert.

The next minute, he's threatening to go to the EPA, bust us all.

He said that?

All right, fix it.

No more fires.

Dude, I'm gonna ditch Spanish.

I'll meet you by the trophy case.

How could we possibly get busted?

Don't worry about it. The boys' room behind the stage?

They never check in there.

Mr. Soprano, Janice, Barb.

Please accept my condolences.

I'll use all my powers, all my skills.

All right, don't go crazy. I mean, you know?

Then we're not envisioning any visitation hours for Mom?

Well, you see, she didn't want any service of any kind.

I find that hard to accept.

Is, uh...

Is she still down at the hospital morgue?

We brought Mom here this morning.

She's downstairs.

There's gonna be a priest or something, though, right?

Well, yeah, sure, a priest, I guess.

But, uh...

What would that be?

You're not having a funeral Mass?

And I'm not trying to sell here.

Well, she was Catholic, but not religious.

Mm.

I thought maybe we'd have a shindig at the house.

You know, after,

so the grandkids could, you know...

I don't know.

I mean, I do know what Mom's wishes were,

but not to have a wake or a funeral?

It makes us look like we're unloving children,

not to mention cheapskates.

Who gives a shit what it looks like?

The woman expressed her wishes.

I wish to honor my mother.

There's a lot of things I could say now I'm not gonna say!

What, you think we should do something now?

When she was young, she used to picture her funeral.

All right, fine, you want to do something?

Let's just do it. Let's stop talking about it.

Cozzerelli, you arrange everything.

The wake, the funeral, you send me the bill.

I want you to know, Tony, that this all won't fall on you.

I'll do a painting for the overleaf of the program

at the service.

Motifs from the Mexican Day of the Dead.

Oh, one thing that I'd like to suggest very strongly is,

at the house,

everyone gathers and each one can voice a remembrance

or a feeling about Mom.

No, no, no, I don't want any of that California bullshit.

People can drink, they can eat some Gorgonzola.

They want to yak about Ma, that's their business.

No, "I'm sorry," "my condolences," nothing.

Actually, that's good.

It's a relief you're not saying nothing,

you want to know the truth.

Everybody else, all bullshit.

All right, here's the thing.

I'm glad she's dead.

Not just glad. I wished she'd die.

Wished.

Got this court case coming up.

She might have testified against me,

so when I heard she was dead, relief flooded into my veins.

How do you feel about the fact

that your own mother would have testified against you?

Oh, come on, will you listen to yourself?

I mean, is that right, wishing her dead?

Is that being a good son?

A good son?

Yeah, a good son.

- I mean, bad sons... - Bad sons, what?

They should fucking die.

That's a fucking miserab',

disgusting thing to be, a bad son.

I mean, your kid up at Bard, he better be a good son, right?

You know what? You're right.

Why the fuck should I be a good son

to that fucking demented old bat,

that fucking selfish miserable cunt?

She ruined my father's life.

Oh, yeah.

But he wasn't her son.

What did she do to you?

Come on, that's a matter of public record in here.

We both know.

You don't like to say it, do you?

Who knows if she even knew what she was doing.

You're letting her off.

My uncle denies it, you know, that she took part.

Your uncle loves you.

I never said he didn't!

Grown children often secretly wish for an aged parent to die,

and it's not necessary for the parent

to be a witness for the prosecution.

It's a taboo thought, but common.

Particularly if the parent has lost all capacity for joy

at being alive.

So we're probably done here, right?

She's dead.

What's happening?

Tony Soprano's mother's wake is tonight.

Want me to wear a wire?

Why not?

You need batteries?

Let's go right over here to Office Depot.

Janice.

I'm downstairs!

- Hey. - Hey.

Mom would want a closed casket, don't you agree?

Yeah, definitely.

You know, they usually put a picture on the casket.

What do you think?

Wow, look at that.

She's smiling.

She looks...

normal.

Maybe it was us kids

who turned her into a freaking sourpuss.

- Maybe it was one of us. - Oh, get...

Get the fuck... Get off!

All right, all right, all right, all right.

You know, maybe you're right.

My shrink says that all women are not cut out to be mothers.

Is that a slam at me?

No.

Look, if my father was in the freaking Cirque de Soleil,

maybe I would've turned out like Har... Hal.

- Well, this is fucking weird. - What?

None of my childhood schoolwork or artwork,

or anything, for that matter is here anymore, and nor Barb's.

Get the fuck out of here.

"Anthony Soprano.

Seventh grade. Mr. Martino."

I had him.

"Why Fear Strikes Out by Jim Piersall is a good book."

Well, take a look.

She only saved yours.

What are you talking about?

Here's Barbara's communion certificate.

Here's her baby shoe.

Yeah, that's it.

Nothing of mine.

I mean, everybody agreed

that I had extraordinary visualization skills.

Those pencil drawings that I did of Grandpa.

They're good.

Ton', sorry.

Tony, I'm... I'm sorry.

He's disrespectful.

Thanks for coming.

Fucking motherfucking pain in the fucking ass!

Could we not, huh?

With the tantrums?

For this shit, I missed the Jets' first home game!

Are they saying when your making ceremony might happen

now with this delay?

Stop asking fucking questions!

Even if I knew, I couldn't tell you.

Hit me, hit me.

Every little bit helps.

Anything to get through these events.

Hey.

What a fucking blow.

- Not you too. - I'm serious!

What, are you breaking the terms of your house arrest?

I got a dispensation from the marshals.

She's my sister-in-law, for chrissake.

My dad's very ill too.

Well, thanks.

Thanks for coming.

Tony, allow me to express my condolences

and those of the Eighth Ward.

Thank you, Assemblyman.

I met your mom once or twice.

That was a... a proud Newarker.

Oh, hey, hey.

- Reverend. - My sympathies, Tony.

We talked about this day, did we not?

You know State Assemblyman Zellman, right?

- From the Eighth Ward? - Do I know this guy? You bet.

Yes, we go way back.

How are you, Assemblyman?

Reverend.

Uncle Jun', you all right?

They're dropping like fucking flies.

It's all that charcoal-broiled meat you people ate.

Nobody told us till the '80s.

I'm kidding you, you old fuck.

What's the matter with you?

Bacala said you wanted to see me.

I gotta talk to that wife of yours first.

- Uncle Jun', come on. - This is a funeral.

Enough of her soigné attitude.

Well, that's easy...

- What do you want? - I'm hoping that we can

use this sad occasion to put bitterness

and sore-headed feelings aside.

I'll behave how Tony wants.

I don't want to add to his stress.

There they are.

- Hi, Uncle Jun'. - Hey, Uncle Jun'.

How's that surfboard I gave you?

Ow!

Jun', Tony's waiting.

Ralphie Cifaretto got word to me.

So, what does he want?

He wants a bump up to captain.

The kid's been a top fucking earner

ever since that rat bastard went in the program.

You can't deny it.

Ralphie's whipped Richie's crew into shape over there.

And three months ago, by you,

the rat bastard was the Second fucking Coming.

Why do you do this to me?

Because I'm the boss of this family, you forget.

I forget nothing.

Don't make me say things to you we'll regret.

Go ahead, I'm fucking fed up.

Hey.

I'm on the street.

That's the arrangement.

Stay home, clip your coupons, be a happy man.

Things are good, I'll grant you that.

- Yeah, right. - But this economy is so robust,

you get credit for shit you had nothing to do with.

Fucking Chinks and housewives are betting football.

You better be finished.

Joe Zachary?

Yeah.

Oh, boys, no fires.

Tony doesn't want any fires.

Ow!

I ain't so tough.

Well, Doc, what do you think?

Can't say.

Well, we'll hope for the best.

Doctor, this is Tom's mother, brother, and Miss Doyle.

The Lord bless her and keep her.

The Lord make His face to shine upon her and be gracious to her.

The Lord lift up His countenance upon her and give her peace.

Amen.

Amen.

Did you talk to her?

She's sure you said something to him.

He won't discuss it. He clams up.

Beautiful send-off, T.

Thank you, thank you.

10-4.

I want to thank you for all you've done for her.

She was much work.

But in the end, she defeated me.

Anyway, we're not gonna be needing

your services anymore, obviously.

I'll be moving into the house.

So, if you could just get your stuff out of there

by this weekend, I think that would be good.

I stay there only during week

when my fiancé has his children with him.

Tony says I can continue situation

till Bill and me find house.

See, Tony should have consulted me first.

I'm gonna be living at 55 Benedek

while we deal with the estate.

Speaking of which,

my mom had this kind of extensive record collection.

Caruso, Robert Merrill,

shitload of Broadway shows.

Many of them were in mint condition.

Do you know where they are?

She gave to me those records.

What?

She know I like American show tunes, so she give to me.

I didn't ask her.

But those are my mother's records,

and I feel very close to them.

I don't want make a trouble, but Miss Janice,

I feel I have to respect her wishes.

Oh, come on.

This is just about you bogarting those discs for your ass.

Now, they're worth a fortune to the right collector.

I will not answer such here.

I want the entire discography

back at the house by this weekend.

Mrs. S.

How are you?

Sit down.

How's your mother?

You call her every day.

Mom passed away.

Really?

When?

About six months ago.

Please, give her my regards.

Is she still on that crazy diet?

I, uh, I brought you something.

From my restaurant.

I don't know if you remember Vesuvio?

Mrs. S.

Oh, what's the matter?

After what my son did to you,

oh, how can I look you in the face?

What did he do now?

You don't blame him for setting the fire?

Artie, what are you doing?

Come on, we have people arriving.

Let's go.

Thank you so much.

- Thank you. - I'm so sorry.

Hey, how are you?

Look at her.

She's already becoming a robot, like the rest of us.

I'm so sorry about your grandma.

Well, at least she didn't suffer.

All her innocence is gone.

Comes to that point in the service

where the rabbi's supposed to extol the virtues of the deceased.

The rabbi says, "Alas, I did not know this man, I'm new here.

You all knew him, you say something good about him."

Dead silence.

Goes on for about a minute, two minutes.

Finally, a voice from the back:

"His brother was worse."

I'm walking out with the provolone.

And I think he thinks I smell like that.

This Survivor show,

somebody should find the winner,

stick a pistol in the face, and say,

"You not gonna survive this

unless you give me 25% of that fucking million dollars."

That's not bad.

We could find out where they live.

"See how good you survive this, pezzo di merda."

Everyone, please, may I have your attention?

At this time, we would like to ask you all

to join us in the great room.

Form a circle, sit anywhere. The floor, whatever.

Get comfortable, so that we can all be together

and share a remembrance or a feeling

about the woman who has brought us all here today.

Goddamn it.

Please, everyone join us.

Paulie Gualtieri, join us, please?

Thank you.

What the fuck did I say, hmm?

If you'd rather, I can invite them all back to her place.

Janice, what are you doing?

Very good.

We could all take a break from eating for five minutes.

It won't kill us.

Most of you will probably remember

that this was her favorite song.

I thought it might help us get rolling.

♪ If I loved you ♪

♪ Time and again I would try to say ♪

♪ All I'd want you ♪

♪ To know ♪

♪ If I loved you ♪

♪ Words wouldn't come In an easy way ♪

♪ Round in circles ♪

♪ I'd go ♪

♪ Longing to tell you ♪

♪ But afraid... ♪

Herman? Rabkin?

You two went back, almost to the pyramids.

I...

I guess what struck me most was...

she didn't mince words.

Between brain and mouth, there was no interlocutor.

Anthony Jr.

I don't know what to say.

Come on.

Lay off him, Janice. Move on.

She was my best friend.

If anybody died or was in the hospital,

I could be sure I'd get a call from Lee letting me know.

Thank you, Fanny.

Thank you.

Okay.

What's good for the goose...

Well, most of you will probably remember

that I have an extraordinary visual sense.

When I was a child,

my mother didn't let me rest on those laurels.

She didn't flatter me.

She believed that wild flowers blossomed best among the rocks.

With little water.

But she was tough.

But she was right.

And she's the reason I make videos today.

Tony?

Maybe you'd like to tell them

how Ma saved all your childhood schoolwork

and varsity letters,

and none of mine or Barbara's?

You just did.

Wrap it up, Janice.

I hear she didn't suffer.

For that, we can be grateful.

Thank you.

They say...

there's no two people on earth exactly the same.

No two faces.

No two sets of fingerprints.

But do they know that for sure?

'Cause they would have to get everybody together

in one huge space.

And obviously, that's not possible, even with computers.

Not only that,

they'd have to get all the people who ever lived,

not just the ones now.

So they got no proof.

They got nothing.

Hey.

- So, Ton', she's dead. - What?

I guess our little secret...

dies with her.

Hey, pick that up!

What am I doing out here?

Everybody's in there telling stories of her.

I got a beaut.

Artie.

Artie!

Artie, don't talk about that.

Mrs. Soprano may have passed,

but who's to say there isn't another Mrs. Soprano

just like her, or will be?

Maybe not with the same fears and paranoia,

but the same.

What I'm saying is...

Thank you, Chris.

Thank you.

Um...

This is such a crock of shit.

- Carmela. - I'm sitting here

thinking I should protect my children

from the truth about their grandmother on the one hand.

On the other, I'm saying to myself,

"What kind of example am I setting?"

Evading and smiling,

passing out cheese puffs

over a woman that we all know was terribly dysfunctional.

Who spread no cheer at all.

Carmela, be quiet.

This is my house!

I'm leaving. Let her talk, goddamn it.

Sit down, Hugh! No, I'll speak if I want!

Goddamn it, who are you, Minister of Propaganda?

We suffered for years under the yoke of that woman.

Years!

She estranged us from our own daughter.

Ruined I don't know how many goddamn Christmases.

I don't want to even begin to count.

- Hugh... - No, don't hand me that!

Bullshit!

You wanted it, you got it.

Hear, hear.

From beyond the grave even.

This is a woman who didn't want a funeral.

You all, her children, you ignored her wishes.

Only after she's dead, by the way.

She didn't want a funeral.

She didn't want a remembrance of any kind.

Why?

She didn't think anybody would come.

She wouldn't write down her memories for her grandchildren,

'cause she figured nobody loved her enough to read them.

She knew there was a problem.

Um, there's, uh, desserts in the dining room,

if anybody wants some.

Yes, um...

and they're all from Vesuvio.

Our new pastry chef, Bobby Vasquez.

Thanks.

Mike's here.

He's come to see you.

You must like Mike a lot better than me.

No, no, Tommy boy. You're my baby.

You're going to get well and strong.

All of us. Together again.

Oh.

I'm almost glad this happened.

Yeah?

This is Mike.

When?

You were?

Fine.

Ma, they're bringing Tom home.

They are? When?

Right now. He's on his way.

Oh, it's wonderful.

I'll get his room ready.

I knew my baby would come home.

Oh...