Original subtitles

- I walked upon this earth as a woman of God,

I had given myself to the Lord.

I was diligent in my services and daily prayers,

but then I found myself desiring the pleasures of the flesh.

I did the Lord's bidding,

and my reward was having my child plucked from me,

and her life extinguished.

What have I done to deserve this?

I lit several candles for my daughter.

I prayed for her,

and God did nothing.

God was not there to help me,

so now I call upon another,

I call upon Satan.

I call upon the Dark Lord of the underworld to help me.

Send me your creatures to wreck havoc on this world.

Lord Satan, send me an avenger.

- Mommy, Mommy, I wanna go swimming.

- We have to read this book first,

why don't you sit down

and we'll read the book.

This is a really cool book,

lots of adventure.

You wanna read it?

You don't want to.

- Mommy, Mommy, I wanna go swimming.

- In a few minutes, right now we gotta sit down

so we can read our book.

- No, Mommy, I wanna go swimming.

- Come on, this wil be fun,

let's sit down and read this book.

- No, no, I wanna go swimming.

- I told you in a minute,

right now we're gonna read.

Look how cool this book is.

- I wanna go swimming, I wanna go swimming.

- Alice, sit down right now,

that's the last time I'm gonna tell you.

I'm gonna go check the water first

to make sure it's okay,

and then you can come get in, okay?

You stay right here, don't move.

- I wanna read the book.

- Okay.

Ooh, Alice, this is way too cold,

you can't get in this.

Ooh, no.

Ooh, Alice, it's way too cold.

It's freezing.

Ooh, it's so cold.

- Mommy, where did you go?

Mommy, where did you go?

Mommy, where did you go?

Mommy, where did you go?

- Father Daniel, you wanted to see me?

Father Daniel, should I come back another time?

- No, no, Sister, please come in.

- If you're sure it's okay.

- Yes, I'm sure.

Sister Jean, do you remember my brother?

- Father Michael, of course I do, a fine man.

He so loved our Lord.

- Yes, of course.

But my brother was like all men, mortal, weak.

- Weak?

Why do you say that?

- It's the truth isn't it?

He faced the ultimate test,

and he failed.

- why are you torturing this innocent woman?

- Hurry, he's gonna kill her.

- Damn you.

- He sacrificed himself.

He saved that poor woman.

- Did he?

There was a new attack this week,

a shark attack.

The victim's body was covered with burns.

It was no ordinary shark.

It was a demon, possessed by Satan himself.

This is the work of Satan, make no mistake.

- You can't know that for sure.

- Then I will go and I will find out.

This evil can travel through space and time,

it can be anywhere.

- Then what chance do we have?

- There's always hope.

The power of God's love is undiminished,

even against the ultimate evil.

- You must need a ride.

- I do, I was trying to get Biloxi,

you came along just in time.

- Awesome, hop in.

- Yes, ma'am.

I'm trying to get there before dark,

I have friends in Biloxi,

they may let me crash there for a few days.

- I see, yes, I can take you there,

I just need to make one little stop,

if it's no problem.

I'm Sister Anne.

- I'm Frank.

- Do you know Blanton Beach, Frank?

The place where that terrible shark attack happened?

I wanna stop there,

and pray for the victim.

- Oh wow, that, that sounds really thoughtful.

- I'm glad you understand,

we should all pray for souls lost so tragically.

- Hey, I'm definitely down with praying?

- May I ask, Frank,

what kind of things you pray for?

- Oh shit, I always pray for things.

Sorry, I forgot I was talking to a nun.

- It's no problem, child, we should all speak our hearts.

- I guess what I really pray for

is this girl I know.

I really hope she's not pregnant

because if she is she'll probably be looking for me,

and if I know her she may even have the law after me.

- Is that why you're going to Biloxi, Frank,

are you running away?

- Well why not?

I definitely don't want a kid,

and I really don't wanna marry that bitch,

excuse my language.

I shouldn't be telling you all this,

you probably think I'm an awful person.

- It's not for me to judge,

only our Lord can judge.

- Yeah, I guess I'm still just freaking out a little bit,

you know, I don't wanna be a dad right now,

and I really don't want a kid.

- I have some herbal tea,

it's very soothing,

you should try some, it'll make you much calmer.

- Hey, I'll try anything.

Mm.

- Now how's that?

- Wow, suddenly I feel really chilly, you know?

- Relax, just relax.

You need to shut out the world, rest.

- You're right, I just need to relax.

- You know, there's an interesting story

about Blanton Beach,

there's a convent nearby,

the Order of St. Ursula.

One of the nuns there, she had a secret,

she was in love with a priest,

now she was pregnant with his baby.

The Mother Superior found out,

and when the baby was born,

she killed it.

The nun was hysterical,

she felt that God had deserted her,

and she wanted revenge on the world.

She lured little children to the convent,

and she killed them.

If she couldn't have a child,

then no one could.

Finally, she offered a human sacrifice to the Dark Lord.

She called out to Satan

to send her an avenger,

something to spread her curse,

to spread her terrible vengeance.

The devil sent a demonic shark,

a terrible beast to kill anyone in those waters

where her baby was drowned.

An exorcism was performed,

but it failed.

And one more thing, that nun,

she was my sister.

You've come at the perfect time, Frank,

Satan's avenger needs a sacrifice.

Hear me Dark Lord,

I offer blood, warm flesh,

an offering for your avenger.

Give him your power to spread your evil on Earth,

to consume the flesh of the nonbelievers,

to strike terror and dread

in their pitiful souls.

Let your avenger bring a new age

of hell on Earth.

- This is Tina Frey reporting from Blanton Beach,

a scene of a tragedy since a bizarre shark attack

took the life of a local woman.

Police identified the victim has Tristan Blake,

a 35-year-old wife and mother.

Most disturbing are the reports

that a shark attack has happened in full view

of Mrs. Blake's young daughter.

For the moment Blanton Beach is still open to the public,

but visitors are still urged

to use extreme caution when swimming.

- This place is insane,

what do you wanna do first?

- I thought you said we were going to a beach.

- This will be so much better.

We should do the zip line together.

- You know I hate those things,

they always make me throw up.

- Yeah, but you went on a plane to Miami,

and you were way higher

than you'll ever be on a zip line.

- I threw up on the plane too.

- Come on, it'll be fun,

we should do the zip line together,

you're gonna love it.

- You know what I love?

I love pizza, I love long foot rubs,

and I love sleeping till noon,

I'm not gonna love this zip line.

- But when you're on a zip line

you feel like you're flying.

Don't you wanna fly?

- I want to go to the beach,

that's what friends are for.

We're supposed to be friends, Jessica,

you don't make us do things that we hate.

- Yeah, but this friend is trying to help you,

and give you a good experience

you're gonna remember forever.

- Oh, trust me, I'll never forget this

'cause it's gonna give me nightmares.

Can we please just go to the beach?

- We can go to the beach right after this.

- Have you done the zip line yet?

Come on, let's go.

- No, not yet. - Lets go.

You haven't done it?

- No. - Come on.

- What'd you say your name was again?

- Chad.

- Okay.

this is gonna be like freaking awesome.

- Did you love it?

- Yeah, it was-

- Come on, let's go. - Great.

- Motherfucker.

- Oh gosh, I'm so glad we're finally here.

- We are here,

but you know what I wanna see, Autumn?

- No, but I'm sure you're gonna tell me.

- I wanna see you hook up today.

How long has it been since you've been with a guy?

- Uh, let's not go there.

- I think we should definitely go there.

- I really don't wanna talk about it.

But look at you,

you have a smoking hot body,

but I bet my little sister gets better action than you do.

- Probably, yeah, you know what,

she probably does, I really don't care though.

You know there's more to life than just guys, right?

- What?

Are you insane in the brain?

What could be better than a hot, horny hunk?

- How about this?

- Holy shit.

- I'm so wet.

- You had a very close call today,

that was no ordinary shark.

- What was it then?

- It was a demon shark summoned to do the devil's bidding

here on Earth,

and to unleash an unholy wave of evil destruction.

- How do you know that?

- Only this saved the life of your friend there.

The holy power of the cross.

God's power is the ultimate weapon

against Satan's forces,

don't you forget that.

My brother fought this very same shark

many, many years ago.

He thought it defeated but it's back,

and it wants revenge.

- Oh my God.

- Stay away from the water,

beware of the devil's minions,

for Satan has many, many servants.

- Hey Autumn, Autumn wake up.

Are you okay?

- Yeah, I just, I had a bad dream.

- You were screaming about a shark.

- Was I?

I'm probably just freaked out still about today.

- Well, you know, something else happened today too.

- Oh yeah?

- Yeah, thinking about what you said.

- Really?

- Yeah, really.

What do you think about that?

- I like it.

You wanna join my team?

- You need an answer right now?

- Whenever you want.

- Mm, how about now?

- I could get used to that.

- I could too,

but I really, really think-

- We need wine first.

- I'm down for that.

- Okay.

You stay right here, I'll be right back.

Are you good with wine?

- I'm always good with wine.

- You cheated my master,

but none shall escape him in the end.

Foolish girl, my Dark Lord cannot be denied.

Take her.

Take her.

- Wake up, Mitch, wake up.

- Oh God, get off me.

- You can't sleep all night,

we've gotta make some money.

I wanna go to Destin,

and I want a four star hotel on the beach,

and you're taking me.

- What are you talking about?

It's the middle of the fucking night.

- It's 11:30, the night's just barely started.

And what are you doing to make us some money?

My friend Kelly's boyfriend has three jobs.

Did you see those snake skin boots he bought her?

Why don't you ever buy me snake skin boots?

- Have you ever heard of karma?

I leave the snakes alone,

they leave me alone.

- You're hopeless.

That's why I'm having to work tonight.

I'm gonna make some money for Destin,

and I'm going with you or without you.

- You're working tonight?

You didn't tell me you have a night job.

- So I'm telling you now.

I'm gonna be a party dancer,

and I know lots of girls who do it,

and they make some sweet ass coin.

And it's easy.

All you do is shake your tits

for some horny rich guys,

and you never know,

one of those guys might wanna take me to Destin,

'cause you obviously don't.

- Party dancer?

Look, there's no way you're doing that.

- You're not my fucking father, Mitch,

nobody tells me what I can and can't do.

If I wanna make some cash so I can go to Destin,

that's exactly what I'm gonna do.

- But you can get,

you could get attacked.

Most men are pigs, they're not gonna be happy

with just a few party dances.

- That's why I got this.

Anybody gets too touchy feely,

and they get a squirt of this shit.

- What is that stuff?

Oh my God, oh my God, my eyes, they're burning.

- You dumb ass, you're not supposed to spray yourself.

- I need water, I need water, I need water.

- God.

I'll get you your fucking water,

but don't be so loud,

you don't want the neighbors calling the cops.

- Stop talking, I need some water, please.

- I've never seen such a baby.

Wah, you need some water,

I'll get you your fucking water.

Okay, I'll get you some water,

just don't be so loud,

you don't want the neighbors calling the cops.

- Stop talking, just get me some water, please.

Eyes.

Here it is.

I suppose you want me to hand it to you.

- Get me that water now.

- Just one thing first,

are you definitely gonna take me to Destin?

- Yes, yes, please, just give me that water.

- I don't know if I believe you.

Are you really gonna take me to Destin,

four star hotel at the beach?

And I don't mean near the beach,

I mean on the beach.

- Are you crazy?

You miserable bitch.

- Oh, so now I'm the bitch?

Well fuck you very much, Mitch,

you can get your own damn water.

I'm out of here.

- Jake, man, listen, I'm telling you,

you need to get over here now.

I got one of those party dancers coming,

and you know how those girls are,

give 'em a little something extra,

and they'll do a little more than dance.

Come on, man, don't shit the bed on me here.

Ever since you got married,

you're all like

Oh shit, she's here.

Looks like I'm gonna have this party dancer

all to myself, sorry about your luck.

Oh yeah?

Well fuck you too.

- Hi, I'm Kacey, you ordered a party dancer?

- I most certainly did.

- What?

- Bring your fine self inside, please.

- Oh, thanks.

- By the way, I'm Claude.

- Good for you.

- And you are?

- I'm your party dancer.

I've never done this before,

where's the party?

Is this 2495 Glendower?

- Absolutely, this is 2495 Glendower,

the universe has brought you where you belong.

- It doesn't look like it.

How am I supposed to do any party dancing

if there's no party?

- But I'm the party.

I mean I would like you to dance for me.

- Just for you?

It sounds kind of boring.

Hey, do you like Destin?

- Destin, you mean, as in-

- The beach, Destin Beach.

I wanna go really bad,

that's why I'm party dancing,

so I can save enough money to go to Destin.

Unless...

- Uh, unless?

- Unless you take me.

- Uh, sure, if I take you?

- Are you rich?

I don't mean to be nosy,

but this trip has to be first class,

you know, like a four star hotel on the beach,

and I don't mean near the beach,

I mean on the beach.

I was just explaining this to my ex,

but he didn't understand.

He was just too busy begging me for water.

- He was begging you for water?

Uh-

- Why was he begging me for water?

For his eyes, of course.

He really shouldn't have sprayed his eyes

with that mace, kind of a lame ass move,

don't you think so, Claude?

And definitely not the way to impress me.

- So, do lots of men do this?

- Do what?

- Spray themselves in the face with mace

in order to impress you?

- No, he was the first,

and just between you and me,

there's a lot easier way to impress me,

and I bet you know exactly how to do that.

- Oh sure, yeah, like hiring you as my party dancer.

- Claude, you're not listening, pay attention.

I wanna go to Destin,

and I want you to book us a four star hotel on the beach.

And I don't mean near the beach,

I mean-

- On the beach.

You want a room on the beach, I got it.

- So are we gonna go?

- Well, I don't know.

What are you doing?

- Getting ready to do your party dance, silly.

- This is incredible.

- So what about it Claude?

- Keep doing what you're doing.

- Are we gonna do it?

- Hell yeah I wanna.

- So you're gonna take me to Destin?

- Uh, sure, are we gonna do it first?

- We're totally gonna do it, baby.

- Oh my God.

- We're gonna book that four star hotel,

give me your credit card.

- Can't really, you know, get to it.

- Oh, sorry.

Which pocket is it in?

Could it be here?

- No, no.

- Could it be here?

- No, I don't think so.

- I know, could it be here?

- No, I don't think

little Claude has a credit card.

- Ew, sorry, my bad.

Look, here's the plan,

I know this game,

it's called Give Me Five.

It's where I give you a movie category,

and then you tell me five films

that fit within it.

Like if I said give me five Jamie Lee Curtis films,

you could say "Halloween,"

"Halloween Two," "Halloween H2O,"

"Halloween Kills," and-

- See, look, you can't even name five

Jamie Lee Curtis movies, this is not gonna work.

- "A Fish Called Wanda" motherfucker,

I was just playing you.

Now listen up, we're gonna play three rounds,

and if I win two out of the three,

you have to promise to take me to Destin, deal?

- I don't know.

- Deal?

- Okay, deal.

- Good.

I'll start.

You give me five Marilyn Monroe movies.

- Okay.

"Some Like It Hot."

- That's one.

- And she made a bunch of movies.

- She made a shit ton of other movies,

you just have to gimme four more.

- Um, let's just, uh-

- No cheating,

you put this phone away now.

- It wasn't that wasn't cheating, uh "Material Girl."

- You dumb ass, that's a Madonna song.

- Not so fast,

I don't think even you could

name five Marilyn Monroe movies.

- "Bus Stop," "The Seven Year Itch,"

"How to Marry a Millionaire,"

"Gentleman Prefer Blondes," "Don't Bother to Knock,"

"Let's Make Love."

How many was that, hmm?

Okay, so I win round one.

- All right, I've got one for you.

Five Charles Bronson movies.

- Please, "Death Wish," "The Mechanic,"

"The Stone Killer," "Breakout," "Red Sun."

My ex used to make me watch all that action shit.

I win round one.

Now for round two.

You have to name five Pam Greer movies.

- Okay, yeah, Pam Greer, no problem.

Um, "Jackie Brown."

- Everybody knows that.

- And, um, "Foxy Brown."

- That's two, keep going.

- "Foxy Jones"?

- There's no fucking movie called "Foxy Jones,"

you're pathetic.

She made "Coffee." "Friday Foster,"

"Sheba, Baby," "The Big Dollhouse, "Black Mama White Mama."

- Oh, okay,

but that's not the end of the round,

you still have to answer one,

and I've got a category that will freak your mind.

Are you ready for Jackie Chan?

- Sorry, my ex made me watch those too,

"Rumble in the Bronx," "Shanghai Nights,"

"Rush Hour," "Rush Hour Two, "Rush Hour Three."

I win.

We're gonna Destin.

- Whoa, whoa, hold, hold on just a second,

you can't just name the same movie three times.

- They're sequels, fuck wad, not the same movie.

So, when are we leaving?

- Ummmm.

- I can't hear you.

- Can we go in the morning?

Would that be soon enough?

- Super dope.

Now you sleep on the couch,

'cause I'm taking your bed.

Good night.

- Autumn?

- She's not here.

- Autumn, where are you?

- Oh my dear.

Oh, oh no.

- You, I know you know what happened to Autumn,

what happened to her?

You gotta tell me what happened.

Tell me what happened now.

Don't run away from me.

What about you, do you know what happened to Autumn?

- How much farther is Destin?

- Well, we've only been on the road for one hour,

and it's an all day trip.

- Ugh, why didn't we just fly?

This is gonna take forever.

- Yeah, well airplanes fuck with my ears

so I don't fly.

- Do you see this?

- I see you pointing at your face.

- This is my bitch face,

and if we're gonna be in this car all day,

there's only one way that this face is gonna go away.

- You want a foot massage?

- I want wine, w-i-n-e.

- Isn't it a little early for that?

- Wine.

- Okay, okay, yes ma'am, yes ma'am.

- You want a nice, a nice IPA ?

- That's gross.

Beer is for trashy rednecks.

- Okay, well let's keep looking,

there's probably wine here.

- Okay, some wine.

- Wanna get some seltzers?

Wanna try a nice White Claw?

- Ew.

- Come on, they're good.

- Even so, I'd rather have white wine, wine.

- Okay, okay, wine.

Wine this way.

Hard lemonade?

- No.

- Okay, wine, wine this way.

- Thank you.

Hot diggity.

I love Rose.

Okay.

Chardonnay, totally.

Zinfandel?

Why yes, I think I will.

- Need all of those?

- Oh, I'm not done yet.

- Excuse me.

- Here, you hold these.

Now, where's my beloved Pinot Grigio?

There you are baby.

- This is the work of Satan, make no mistake.

But the devil's forces are powerful,

way more powerful than I even imagined.

- How?

- Satan's powers are in no way restritced

by the laws of man,

nor the boundaries of nature.

This evil can travel through space and time,

it can be anywhere.

- What chance do we have?

- There's always hope.

The power of God's love is undiminished,

even against the ultimate evil.

I feel driven to end this.

God is a light in me,

and I will take his flame from heaven,

and destroy this evil.

Trust me, Sister, the powers of good will be avenged.

There will be a reckoning.

- Wakey, wakey.

What is that?

Oh yeah, it's a sign ahead,

and it says welcome to Destin.

- Destin?

Did you just say Destin?

Are we there?

- I believe we are,

we just have to get up here and park this car,

and then you can hit that big beautiful beach.

- Oh, this is so dope.

I can't believe we're in Destin.

Park the car, let me out, let me out.

- We're on our way.

This doesn't look like Destin.

Where's all the hotels?

Where's all the restaurants?

- Well, you know, I thought I would take you

to one of the more remote stretches of beach

so, you know, we could avoid the crowds.

Okay, we're almost there.

Here we go.

Do you see it?

Here comes the beach.

- Oh, oh, park the car.

- I'm working on it.

- Let me out.

Let me out.

- We're gonna, we're gonna, hold on.

Here we go.

And I give you the beach.

- Oh.

- I need this now.

I can't believe I'm finally at Destin.

Oh, the ocean looks so beautiful.

You get the beach towel,

and don't forget my sunscreen,

I have very fair skin.

- Yeah, I've noticed.

- Hey babe, aren't you excited

to be here at Blanton Beach?

- Oh cool.

- You know, I heard that this is where that kid

was killed by a shark about a week ago,

right over there where those kids are playing.

- Oh, cool.

- Yeah, they said it was super gory.

They said his guts came out,

and the water was red and everything.

It was pretty cool I heard.

- Oh cool.

- Yeah, they said his head came off,

eyeballs popped out,

and the shark actually at the eyeballs.

- Oh cool.

- I knew you'd be excited.

- Claude, are you coming?

- I have your beach towel

and your sunscreen.

- Well don't just stand there, spread it out.

- Yes, dear.

- And I'm not your dear.

- Uh, well what is your name?

- I told you like a million times.

- I don't think you have.

- It's Kacey.

- Oh, as in K.C. and the Sunshine band?

- Do you have a problem with the Sunshine band?

I just happen to have "Get Down Tonight" as my ringtone,

and don't even get me started

on how dope "Boogie Shoes" is.

- Absolutely, "Boogie Shoes" is absolutely dope.

- Hell yeah it is,

and don't you forget it.

Do my back, I don't wanna turn all red and shit,

I wanna turn golden brown.

- Golden brown is nice.

- Hell yeah it is.

- I just get all red and scab over,

it's disgusting, it's not pleasant to see.

- Ugh, Claude, could you do me a huge favor?

- Anything.

- Stop talking.

- Do you mind if I sit here?

- Sure, I guess.

- Hi, I'm Jessica.

- I'm Kacey.

Oh, and this is Claude.

- Hi.

- Is he your boyfriend?

- He wishes.

He's just my ride.

I told him I wanted to go to Destin,

and here we are.

- No, this isn't Destin,

this is Blanton Beach.

- That's not possible,

I specifically told Claude to take me to Destin.

- I'm sorry, this is Blanton Beach.

- But Blanton Beach is the fucking shark beach,

it's where all those shark attacks happened.

- Yes, I know.

- Claude, did you hear this?

Jessica says this is Blanton Beach.

We're not even in the same state as Destin.

What's going on?

- Um, I think we're out of sunscreen,

maybe I should...

- You weasel.

You took me to fucking Blanton Beach,

and thought I wouldn't notice?

- A beach is a beach, dear, this is a beach.

- Don't call me dear.

And Blanton Beach isn't the same as Destin.

Destin's where all the classy people go,

Blanton Beach is for redneck losers.

Oh my God, I'm at a redneck beach.

- Kacey, I have something important to tell you,

you shouldn't be here today.

- I fucking know that.

You think I wanna be at stupid Blanton Beach?

- Then go, both of you, right now.

- What's going on?

- I can feel it, something's gonna happen.

There's gonna be a shark attack.

- You see, Claude?

You brought me to the fucking shark beach.

But, hey, how do you know that,

are you psychic or something?

- That shark killed somebody very important to me,

and all I want now is to be with her.

When the shark comes, he can take me,

and no one else has to get hurt.

- Don't say that,

you're a beautiful girl,

you don't wanna die.

- I really do mean it, I do.

- Claude, don't just sit there, do something.

- What am I supposed to do?

- She's walking towards the water,

go grab her or something.

- She said there were sharks in the water.

- So you better hurry, go.

- I don't think this is a good idea.

- Oh my God, I'm at a redneck beach

with a little pussy man.

- Fucking fine.

Holy shit, Claude, look out.

- By the power of God, be gone.

- You saved my life.

- Oh, it wasn't me, it was God's power.

God's strength is the only weapon we need

to defeat this kind of evil.

- But Claude's dead,

and it's my fault, I made him go out there.

- He died doing God's will.

He's earned his place among the angels.

Oh, here, I meant to give you this.

- But you've already done so much.

- This vial contains holy water,

blessed by the holy father himself.

- The pope?

- That's right, carry it with you everywhere.

Should evil arise, one drop will send it

hurtling back to hell.

- I feel like I should confess something.

I'm not a good person.

I drink, I cuss,

and I'm a party dancer.

- We're all sinners, my child,

but God loves us all.

- You little bitch, no one escapes my vengeance,

not even you.

Satan will send me another shark,

even bigger than before,

and I will delight in watching you be eaten alive.

- Go to hell.

- Miss, you all right?

- No, I'm not all right,

a shark ate my date,

a nun stabbed my priest,

and that's not even the worst part.

- Well what's worse than that?

- I'm at stupid fucking redneck Blanton Beach.

Can you get me out of here?

- Sure, where do you wanna go?

- How do you feel about Destin?

- Hey, it's me.

As part of my plea deal

from a drunk driving incident,

part of my community service

is to tell you about summertime

here at beautiful, um, Blanton Beach.

And I can say with almost complete confidence

that our public toilets no longer

have hidden cameras in them.

And you can rest assured that the brain eating amebas

that were found at our local water park

are taken very seriously by local officials.

So, who's ready for sun and fun?

At Blanton Beach where all of your wet

and wildest dreams come true.

Shell yeah.

Are we done?

- Okay.

- Are we on?

Hi, I'm Nancy Chase with another episode of Ghost Whackers,

here today t the beautiful Blanton Beach,

the sighting of numerous shark attacks,

innocent swimmers being brutally slaughtered,

murdered, mutilated in these very waters.

I wanna know what you guys think.

People say it's demon possessed,

but can that be true?

Can sharks really be possessed by demons

hell bent on bringing death

and destruction to this beautiful beach?

- Hey, Kelto here back at it

with another fire ass YouTube video,

and today we're going out in the water,

and man does it look cold.

- Oh, hey, excuse me, sir,

you're not planning on going in there are you?

- Oh, well of course I am,

I'm trying to get another viral video.

- Oh, okay.

That would definitely work,

but have you not heard about the shark attacks?

- Oh, I don't really watch the news,

I don't keep up with it,

it's too negative for my positive vibes.

- Okay, well they're saying that the sharks

are possessed by demons,

they're calling them devil sharks.

- Good thing I'm not religious,

I don't need no Bible.

- Okay, well you may not believe in the devil shark,

but the devil shark believes in you.

- Hey, well fuck it, YOLO.

All right.

- Well, what do you think, viewers?

- It's cold out right now.

Hey you guys watching back at home,

thanks for .

I wanna make sure I'm not doing this for nothing.

- Is this just a bunch of negative energy

or is there really a demon possessed shark

in the waters of Blanton Beach?

Oh shit, fuck, motherfucker.

We can cut that out.

- Oh shit, oh shit.

- Well viewers, it would appear

it would...

It would appear...

Quiet on the set.

Take two, action.

Well it would appear that we have our answer,

the very man we were just speaking to

is now being brutally attacked

by a viscous man-eating shark.

- Don't stop filming.

- And there you have it, dear viewers,

the devil shark has claimed another innocent victim.

Come back next week,

where I will be right here,

trying to make a psychic connection

with one of the victims

of the Blanton Beach shark attack.

What will they have to tell us?

Will they bring us some kind of warning?

We'll find out next week on Ghost Whackers.

I'm Nancy Chase, goodnight.

Uh, miss, I'm gonna need that footage.