Original subtitles

I LOVE MELVIN

All right. Take me into number one.

- Okay, number one. - Watch out for that cable.

- Can you see a Mark's, Joel? - Okay, everybody, on your toes.

- Miss Leroy is ready. - That's it.

- Leroy's ready, sir. - All right.

- Miss Leroy's Ready. - Miss Leroy's Ready.

Miss Leroy is our biggest star.

Quiet. We're rolling it.

- Speed. - Action.

We are the gentleman of the press.

Yes, we are. Yes, we are. Yes, indeed, indeed we are.

Our editor sent us to you, to interview you.

For Judy Leroy. You're America's pride and joy.

You're the prettiest, wittiest, glamour girl by far.

Yes, you are, yes, you are. Yes indeed, indeed you are.

The fact that we want must be positively feminine.

We don't want to know when you have tea if you put cream or lemon in.

Well, the facts I give are genuinely, intimately feminine.

A lady loves expensive clothes and pretty jewels and furs and friends chapeaus.

She loves her lingerie in black. It suits her zodiac.

Loves a penthouse where she'll be content to stay.

Finds little gifts on her breakfast tray.

But now and then pack and sail away,

for a simple Riviera holiday.

A lady loves "beacoup l'amour".

But first of all, she loves to be secure.

And she adores the subtle praise that it's the man who pays.

Yet there's one vital thought she will place

above all of the things I make mention of.

That most of all. A lady loves to love.

A lady loves her phobias. She has complexities.

She will insist.

It gives her things to talk about with her psychiatrist.

Incidentally, whenever she drops her glove,

gentlemen know what she's thinking of.

That most of all. A lady loves to love.

And what is more, a lady loves to live.

And what is more, a lady lives to love.

Cut it. Print it.

- Sensational. Judy, that was sensational. - Thank you.

Thank you.

- That was really something, Miss Leroy. - Thank you.

It sure was.

You're certainly easy to photograph, Miss Leroy.

- Terrific, Judy. - Oh, really?

- Can't top that in a hurry, honey. - Thank you.

Isn't she pretty?

- A wonderful number, Miss Leroy. - Oh, you're sweet.

- That was great, Miss Leroy. - Thank you.

- Swell, Judy. - Thank you.

Bob. Bob Taylor. How nice.

Judy, how do you do it?

Every day you're more wonderful, and more beautiful.

Judy, I've got to talk to you.

Judy. Judy.

Judy. Judy. Come on, get up. It's late.

Judy!

Aww, Mom, Bob Taylor was just saying something important.

Oh, come on.

Oh, just five minutes. Maybe I could dream it back.

All right, but don't blame me if you're late to the theater call.

And there's a chorus rehearsal at 1030.

Rehearsal? We opened the show two weeks ago.

Well, all I know is they want you there on time.

I'll have your breakfast on the table.

Miss Leroy is our biggest star.

- Morning, Pops. Hi, pumpkin. - Hi.

Did you leave lipstick?

Not much. What's the matter? You got the grumps this morning.

Who wouldn't have? Look at the paper.

Taxes going up again. Prices going up again.

The whole financial world's standing on its head and nobody worrying about it.

So why should you? What a morning. Thanks, mom.

- Think I'll take a walk through the zoo. - Just watch your time.

- What's with you today, pumpkin? - Mitzi and me are going skating.

- Pops. Can I get a skate key? - Another one?

- How many is that this week? - Just two. I love...

Two a week? What are you trying to do, corner the market?

Skate keys don't cost much.

That's not the point. It's the principle. Two a week that's eight a month.

That's 96 skate keys a year.

I didn't lose 96...

I think it's time we all realize something.

You know that drugstore down the street?

I don't own that store. Mr. Prowdy owns that store.

- I'm a mere wage earner. - Yes, Pops, we know.

Yes. I'm not a financier.

Now, Frank, stop running yourself down.

We're comfortable. There's food on the table. Eat.

I could get sick, you know. I could get fired.

I've been trying to tell you. Mr. Prowdy hates me.

He's hated me for 20 years.

- Oh, Frank, he does not. - He does too. He told me so.

Oh, Pops. Anyway, I'm working.

Show business, finds steady employment.

Maybe someday she'll be a star.

This new part could do something for her too.

- Maybe she'll get a raise. - What new part?

What Mr. McAvitty said. The stage manager.

I didn't know anything about a new part. When did he say?

When he called before...

A part? You mean I'm not in the chorus anymore?

- Don't ask me. - Better I Call him.

A part? Whoee!

People starve and choke. Who am I talking to? The walls.

Hello, Mr. McAvitty? This is Judy Leroy.

What's all this about a part?

- Really? - What's he saying?

Well, what part is it?

The football ballet. What do I do?

- Oh! - Well?

I'm the football.

Well, bye Pop.

- Want a company, miss? - No, thank you.

- Good morning, Judy. - Hi, Clancy. How are you?

Okay.

Careful. Watch your step.

Someday my love will come along.

The one and only one for me.

You'll be charming, strong and six foot two.

Well, maybe even six foot three.

I know what he'll look like.

He will be so story book like.

And he'll fill a cozy look like I would want him to.

But much to my regret.

We have never met as yet.

I know what he'll look like.

He will babble on so brook like

And for him I'll try to cook like Mother taught me too

But much to my regret

my heart is just an apple cart.

That's waiting to be upset.

We have never met as yet

Yes, I'll know him when I see him

And I'll fall in no time flat.

And I'm sure her that when it happens,

It'll happen just like that.

I know what she'll be like

sort of warm and vanity like.

And she'll fall in love with me like I would want her to.

But much to my regret, we have never met.

Has yet.

I know what she'll sigh like.

Just the kind of sigh that I like.

She won't cry like and won't lie like other girls I know.

But much to my regret.

My heart is just an apple cart that's waiting to be upset.

For we have never met...

Why don't you get your brakes, relined?

Lady driver.

Yes, I'll know her when I see her and she won't act so high hat.

And I'm sure that when it happens,

it'll happen but not with that.

Hey, the Lions House is closed today.

Look Magazine. We're doing a layout here.

Oh, sure.

Hey, just a second.

- Look Magazine. - Oh, yes, sir.

- Look Magazine. - Where you been? Small time?

I'm waiting 20 minutes for those flash balls.

I'm sorry, Mr. Mergo. The office set, well, they just...

No, don't get so nervous, boy. I understand.

Your job isn't so easy carrying around those heavy bulbs.

Think of the mental strain any other man could crack.

- Oh, no, sir. I won't crack. - Give me the bulbs. Give him to me.

All right, now stand over there. Go ahead.

- Here? - No, in there

Yeah. Closer. Closer. I can't seem to get any action out of that guy.

All right, now, make him mad.

Is that the best you can do? Put some muscle in.

- No, take it away from him. - Take what away?

The bone. The bone?

I take that bone away from him, he'll take this bone away from me.

You want to be a photographer, don't you?

- Yeah, with two arms. - Oh, for the love...

What's the matter? You afraid of a lion?

Get out of the way.

Mr. Mergo, I wouldn't do that if I were you.

I wouldn't do that. Mr. Mergo.

- Now, Mr. Mergo. - Let go.

- Mr. Mergo. Very mad, Mr. Mergo. - Let go.

Let go!

- Can't seem to place that face. - I can't place yours either.

Blow.

- Look magazine. - Like to see the show?

Oh, thanks. I'll just drop around backstage.

Boo-ra-ti-boo. Boo-ra-te-baa. One for the team now.

Ra-ra-ra!

Boo-ra-ti-boo. Boo-ra-te-baa.

Give up gang with the battle cry.

Go! Go! Go! Go!

Boom! Hooray!

Saturday afternoon before the game.

On Saturday afternoon before the football game.

Happy crowd before again from everywhere.

Saturday afternoon before the game.

For the saturday afternoons and ever quite the same.

Hey, take it easy, fellas.

Hey, thanks.

No kicking on third down, tack them, ref.

Someone was supposed to intercept me.

Say, haven't we met some place before?

Not unless you play left tackle.

Come on, come on. Get out there.

Time out. Okay, coach, send me in.

Boys, boys, let's lose a few yards. What's the difference?

- Oh, Miss Leroy? - Yes.

My name is Hoover, Look Magazine.

I was wondering if I could take you home.

Why that's very kind of you. Thank you, Mr. Hoover.

Well, that's all right. Are you hurt?

No, no. Just out of condition.

Well, I certainly like the way you go flying through the air.

- It sure looks realistic. - It is?

Surprise.

Why, Harry, I thought you had to work tonight.

Well, all work and no play makes Harry lots of jack.

How are you?

Oh, Mr. Hoover. Mr. Harry Flack.

Mr. Hoover was going to take me home.

Oh, well, that's very kind of you, old man,

but my chariot is ready and waiting.

- I'm sorry, Mr. Hoover. Oh! - What's the matter?

I've got a charley horse.

No! See, I've heard of Dobbin and Trigger, but a horse named Charles is a new one.

- May I drop you somewhere? - Oh, no, thanks.

Miss Leroy. I'd like to take a few pictures of you sometime.

- Really? - Why?

Well, look at her. She has some very interesting possibilities.

I'm thinking in terms of a layout for the magazine.

Maybe a two page spread. The aspiring actress at home.

- That'd be wonderful. - When can I get in touch?

Well, it's Judy Leroy.

433 west 64th. Only don't look for Leroy. The name is Schneider.

Schneider?

- Let's go, shall we? - Good night. Thank you.

Good night.

Well, good nigh.

Hold it! Hold it!

- Will it be predicted too? - Hmm?

Well, that's hard to say.

Layouts are laid out way in advance. It takes time.

You have to be sure that each picture is the best possible shots you can get.

- Immense competition. - Hey. Please.

Oh, I'm sorry. Pull it down.

That's fine. Thank you.

Say, you can put this back on now.

In that case I can start the dinner. Come on, Clarabelle.

- I want to watch. - Now, listen...

- Go on, pumpkin. Help mom. - Excuse me, Mrs. Schneider.

Sorry. Right here, Miss Leroy.

What do you want to take her with that for?

She hasn't vacuumed in five years.

- Oh, Mom. - Well, you haven't.

I haven't had time, that's why.

Well, as long as you're doing it sweeping the corners. Clarabelle.

- Is this all right? - Hmm?

That's fine.

Say, how about dinner tonight?

Pardon?

Dinner with me. Well, we can talk over the layout.

Oh, I couldn't. I have a date with Harry Flack.

Oh. How about tomorrow night?

Well, that depends. I don't know yet if Harry has anything planned.

- Who is Harry Flack? - Oh, just a man.

His father has a very comfortable paper box business.

Are you engaged? I ought to know for the layout.

- No, we're not engaged. - But you have an understanding?

No, I wouldn't say that.

Say, you know, I think we're getting a little bit too posy.

Here. Let me have that.

Let's get something a little bit more natural.

- Do a couple of steps. - You mean dance?

Yeah, action stuff. Go ahead.

That's it.

Great.

Wonderful.

A boodle beep beep bum bum bum

A boodle beep beep bum bum bum

A boodle beep beep bum bum bum

A boodle beep beep bum bum bum

A boodle beep beep bum bum bum

A boodle beep beep bum bum bum

You give me a glow, you give me a lift.

Oh, where did you go to get such a gift?

Oh, where did you learn to dance?

Oh, what grace, what technique.

I went to my ballet class.

Four or five times a week.

Miss Leroy, your movements have me so completely floored.

- Call me Judy. - Judy, you deserve.

- An anatomy award. - Ahn?

Where did you learn to twirl so superlatively?

You're getting me all a gag with your choreography.

When you tap so I am absolutely in a trance.

Say, you could be a big star if you had the chance.

Little lady, where aware where did you learn to dance?

How did you get your shoes so enthusiastic?

Eyes seem to flip when you trip the light fantastic.

Would you state that you're an ardent patron of ballet?

Quite so and might I say that I dig your tour "jete".

Crazy man.

Where did you get that quake and quiver?

It was way down upon the Suwannee River.

I like your poise that is I mean, I'm keen about your stance.

Then you could be the epitome of romance.

What am I saying?

Where, oh, where, oh, where did you learn to dance?

Where, oh, where do you learn to, how you do twist?

How you do turn? You better take care or the carpet burn.

Where, oh, where, oh, where did you learn to dance?

What's that supposed to be?

- I thought you were helping mom. - I dropped this.

I think we've got enough in here.

Now, how about washing your hair? That ought to be a good touch.

- All right, if you like it's this way. - All right.

- Can I come? - Well, I'm afraid there's not much room.

- Put it on her soapbox, like in the ad. - Judy, where are you going?

Judy?

Come in, Harry. You I'm home.

So you'll be along in a minute. Just make yourself comfortable.

What in the name of?

Judy? Judy?

- Hi, Pop. - Where's Judy?

In the bathroom with Mr. Hoover. Oh, she's in the bathroom with Mr...

Who's Mr. Hoover. A plumber.

He better be.

- This all right? - Oh, that's fine. Hold...

- What is this? Judy? - It's all right, Frank. I'm here.

- Where? - Behind the door.

- Hello, Pops. - What are you doing? Who are you?

- Melvin Hoover. Look... - Look at what?

Pops? The magazine.

Will somebody please explain what's going...?

- Dad, don't upset yourself? - Well, it's very simple, Mr. Schneider.

I'm behind the door every second.

Judy's gonna be in a magazine.

- Any help needed here? - Hello, Harry.

Of all the ridiculous why is he taking pictures in the bathroom?

- Pops. It's my career. - In the bathroom.

It's gone all day. We're all through now.

There's one room in the house.

I don't want a lot of strangers walking into this bathroom.

- Well, excuse me, Mr. Schneider. - Oh, God!

No he isn't. But should be here in a minute.

- Right. Bye. - Hi, Ms. Elden.

Oh, you sure look nice today. Is that new? It's a very good color for you.

- Go ahead, but make it short. - Thank you. It's business, sort of.

Oh, Mr. Henneman, I have a great idea for a layout here.

Not now, please.

- Who is that? - No idea, sir.

- Oh, hello. Is Miss Leroy there, please? - Who?

Wait a minute. It's for Miss Leroy.

- Judy! - Miss Leroy.

Miss Schneider isn't good enough for.

Oh, Frank.

Hello? Oh, yes, Mr. Hoover.

Say, I have those shots. They look pretty good.

But I'll tell you, I think we ought to broaden the scope of the layout.

You mean, more poses? Out of doors?

Yes. Well, I'll figure out a few different backgrounds.

Wait. Excuse me. Be with you in a minute, Miss Minafee.

By the way, is that Zoo stuff back?

Yes. And Mr. Mergo says get off your pelvic

bone and rush it upstairs before you're fired.

Yes.

What would I do without you. Mr. Leroy?

You'll hear from me in a few days. Maybe tomorrow. Yes. All right. Bye.

Hold it.

That was a nice one. Good composition.

- I think all your shots are good, Melvin. - Well, thanks.

Oh, hi there, boy. It's nice to see you again.

We did a layout in here a couple of months ago.

Took a bone away from the lion.

- Oh, you didn't? - Sure.

Watch.

- Melvin, where are you going? Melvin? - He's as tame as a kitten.

Come on, now, let go. Come on, now. You remember me.

- Look out! - Oh, no! Melvin!

What's the matter? Still hurt?

- Oh, no, it wasn't anything. - They probably changed that lion.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Want another shot of me skating? Come on.

No, we've got enough shots now.

It's just a question of getting angle on the layout.

You know what I mean?

It was just up to me with would use his stuff weeks ago.

But it so happens I'm not the president of the organization.

- I don't own the place. - Oh, I know that.

- What do you mean? - What? You said you're not the president.

- Well, you don't have to say it like that. - Like what?

Well, you seem to be suggesting that maybe somebody else could handle this better.

- Maybe you're right. - I didn't say that.

- Well, you're suggesting it. - I didn't even open my mouth.

Maybe you think I'm not important enough on the magazine.

Well, you could be right about that, too, you know.

Melvin, I think you're very important. What are you talking about?

I don't know. I'm just low, I guess.

Well, I don't know why you should be just because a lion roared at you.

We've got some wonderful shots. And like you said, when we...

What's your honest opinion of me?

Melvin? You can change a subject so fast.

I'm asking a simple question. How do you feel about me?

- Where do I stand? - Melvin?

Because right here and now, I want you to know how I feel about you.

- Judy. - Oh, Melvin.

- You bit my ear. - Oh, I'm sorry. Let me see.

- Is it bleeding? - No, it's just scratch, that's all.

No. This is one of my bad days. I don't even know how to kiss a girl.

It wasn't so bad. You just picked the wrong spot.

Yeah.

- Hello, Clarabelle. - Hi.

- Shouldn't you be in school? - It's Sunday.

Mom says to come home and help with dinner.

Oh! All right. Would you like to have dinner with us?

Pop says if the subject comes up, no.

- Goodbye, Melvin. - Oh. Goodbye, Judy.

- You coming? - He looks lonely.

I don't care what anybody says, Mr. Hoover.

I like you.

Well, thanks.

- What is that? - You.

Me?

You know, if the clock stop, your face I'll freeze that way.

- Well, I find myself not caring. - Want some advice?

- No. - Well.

Many, many years ago, I heard my teacher say,

Don't worry about your worries, they're not permanent.

And they won't linger on.

Troubles are just like lollipops.

They're here, they're gone.

And if there's a dolly for which you yearn.

Don't let it bring you sorrow.

Just to wait the tide will turn.

And the dolly that you can't get today.

may be in your arms tomorrow.

Life has its funny little ups and downs.

Down and ups ups and downs.

Life has its funny little ups a daisy.

Crazy ups and downs

Rainy and sunny, little ups and downs.

Tears and smiles, grins and frowns.

Life has its funny little seesaw Humpty Dumpty. Ups and downs.

Watch out when you're high on a hilltop.

Or you will topple over with an awful stud.

Up and down you go.

And one pretty day you're a great big stick.

Next day you're a stick in the mud

You rise and fall like a bouncing ball.

Like a little tense yo-yo.

Life has its funny little ups and downs.

Down and ups ups and downs.

So don't you sit around a temper don't you whimper like a pup.

For just when things are looking down.

Things start looking up.

Life has its funny little ups and downs.

Pass. Mr. Hoover.

Pass!

- You off again, Miss Leroy? - Uh huh.

What's it this time? A few more poses?

We're taking in a movie after we get some shots in the lobby.

You know, that fella's got maybe a thousand pictures of you already.

What's he doing with them? Paper in a wall?

Well, he has to take a lot of pictures to make sure we get the best.

And meanwhile, he's scaring away Harry. Harry Flack.

The only good prospect you have.

You hardly ever see Harry anymore.

Well, I have fun with Melvin much more than I have with Harry.

Fun? What's that got to do with it?

I never had any fun with your mother.

I always kept her nicely.

Pops, would you want me to marry Harry just for a lot of paper boxes?

You could do worse.

I'd certainly like to see my daughter settle down instead of playing

a football on Broadway and having her picture taken in a wash basin.

All right.

All right, she tells me. That's going to make

me stop worrying about my family's future.

May I remind you that Mr. Prowty hates me?

Yes, I know he does, Pop, but let's not talk about it.

Fine. Great solution for everything.

- Don't talk about it. - Here.

Why don't you take Clarabelle? She likes the movies, too.

Well, Melvin and I, we were...

All right, pumpkin. Come on.

- Bye, mom. - Bye, honey.

Bye, Pop.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye darling.

Bye bye.

If you got your picture in the magazine, would you maybe get a job in the movies?

- Maybe. - Wowye.

- Would you invite me out to Hollywood? - You come right along with me.

Wowye!

Mr. Hoover, please.

Come on. There's something on your mind.

Well, Melvin, when we get home, maybe you better not come in.

- Huh? - Well, not that I don't want you to, but,

well, I'm having a little trouble with family.

- About me? - No, not exactly.

They want me to marry Harry Flack.

Judy, you can't. I love you, Judy.

Shh, Melvin.

You're not going to do it, are you?

Because if you do, I'll be very frank about this.

Judy, if you do, I'll kill myself.

- Melvin, stop it. - I mean it.

Judy. You know how I feel. I'd do anything for you.

I'd rob a bank, I'd take a rocket to the moon. Anything. Just ask me.

Put me on the cover. My picture on the cover of the magazine.

Judy, I said I'd kill myself or take a rocket

to the moon, but don't ask the impossible.

But don't you see what it would mean?

We could forget the layout, but a picture on the Cover.

I'd get offers, a good job, a career.

But most of all, there'd be some peace at home.

Now then, couldn't you try?

Well...

Well, goodnight, Mr. Hoover. Thanks for a wonderful evening.

All right.

Oh! And Mr. Hoover, please don't kill yourself.

- She must have been awake. - Oh, Yeah. Nice kid.

Judy, about the cover Now, I'll do whatever I can,

but you've got to do something too.

- Something for me. - Shh!

I'll give it everything I've got.

Just promise me that you won't see that Flack character anymore.

- Melvin, I can't. - Well, why not?

Well, I just can't. My family would be on my neck.

Besides, what excuse could I give?

It isn't as if you well, you haven't said anything about...

- About what? - Nothing.

Look, forget about the cover It's silly. I don't know why I even brought it up.

I don't want to forget about it. Just have faith in me, will you?

Oh, I do.

It's not that I'm a hot shot or anything, but I happen to be in love with you.

- Do you understand that? - Of course I...

Judy I...

I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?

Melvin, you always leap at me.

You don't have to leap at me.

Look.

What is it? A time exposure?

- Good night, Melvin. - Good night, Miss Leroy.

I'll have your prints back in the morning.

Gruesome.

Mr. Mergo, I'd like to ask your advice about something.

Look at beautiful, huh?

- I don't care much for catastrophe. - Should be in color.

Advice about what?

Well, suppose you had a great cover idea. What would you do?

I'd go out and shoot it.

Yeah, but then suppose nobody'd look at it.

I'd make them look.

I'd plaster the walls with it all over the building.

Then if they didn't take it, I'd tear down the wall.

- Plaster the walls? - You got a cover idea? What is it?

- A girl. - Oh, joy.

Now there is an earth shaking notion. A girl on the cover of a magazine.

They'll go mad, I tell you. Mad.

- Yeah, but this girl's different. - What's, she got three eyes?

No, no. You see, Mr. Mergo, that's hypo.

That's what I call a lousy drink.

Miss Judy Leroy America's Loveliest. Yes.

Hey, Melvin. Right away. Mergo wants you up in the studio.

All righty.

Are you in the plaid? Come on. Come on. Cheated. Cheated.

That's better. Not much better, but it's better.

All right, hold it! Still.

That's all. That's enough. Go on home.

Yeah, photographing accidents. Go on home.

- What are you grinning about? - Oh, nothing. Just happy.

Well, don't let me catch you being happy around me.

- Go on, clean up the joint. - Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Every time I look at you, my heart begins abounding.

And you're in the middle of the circles that I keep walking around in.

Every time I pass a church, I simply go to pieces.

You've got me dreaming crazy. Dreams like packing up... valises.

And I love the thought of traveling.

The urge is nothing new.

I've always wanted to see the world.

From a romantic point of view.

Now I want to see the world so I can tell the world.

The way I feel about you.

I want to wander. I want to wander here and yonder.

I love the feel of pebbles in my shoes. I'm restlessly inclined.

I want to wander. There's nothing else of which I'm fonder.

And when I'm mosy down the road a piece I find my peace of mind.

I want to kick up my traces where the blue horizon ends.

I really, really want to go go to faraway places,

see new faces and make new friends.

Say, they're metallic and me down my Rand McNally.

Let me ponder where I wanna wander to.

And while I'm a wishing let me make this one condition.

That where I wonder. I want to wander there with you.

And while I'm a wishing let me make this one condition.

That where I wonder. I want to wander there with you.

All right, then, gentlemen, let's get this over with.

I take it, then, we're all agreed on the next cover?

- Well, it's certainly good with me. - I think it's just wonderful.

It's a real attention getter.

Well, how long does it take him to decide on a cover, anyway?

You look at a picture? Yes. No. Right.

You look at another picture? Yes. No. Right.

Right. But how many times do I have to tell you?

They're not even considering a girl for the cover.

Well, there's always a chance, you know.

There is, huh? Listen.

Beautiful, isn't she? Just look at her. She's perfect.

- She's certainly my choice. - You can't beat that shot.

Just look at the expression in her eyes.

- and the tilt of her head. - Who took that picture?

I did. Did you hear, Miss Ellen? Did you hear?

I told you there was always a chance.

The cover I got her on the cover. Boy!

Hey!

Let me down!

What shot did they pick? Let me see. Oh, that.

Last New York performance. Three weeks from tonight.

Three weeks. Well, it was a great run while it lasted.

Wish I'd saved my dough.

Only three more weeks.

All right, kids, let's break it up now. Come on.

Look Magazine.

- Oh, hi, Judy. - Hello, Melvin.

I was in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd catch a number.

Oh, fine.

What's the matter? Don't you feel well?

What's the problem?

It's Harry Flack. He's coming to dinner Monday night.

Oh, well, that's simple. Poison him.

He wants to talk to Pops.

- He's going to propose. - Propose? To your father?

You know what I mean. He's old fashioned.

He wants permission.

Well, how about getting your permission? That's pretty important too.

He already asked me last night.

Well, what'd you say?

Nothing. I didn't know what to say.

Well, you should have come to me. I would have thought of something.

The nerve of that guy.

Who does he think he is, going around proposing to people?

Hey, quiet.

You know, I had to punch him right in the nose.

Melvin, don't make things worse. I'm in enough trouble right now.

What trouble? Why?

Well, I was up all night.

I didn't sleep a week just thinking about the family and everything.

Now, to make things worse, the show's gonna close in

three weeks and I don't have any prospects for another job.

- And, Melvin, I just don't know. - Let's go. That's your kilt.

Listen. Now, listen. Now, listen, Judy.

- You listen to me. - Yes, Melvin? What?

I'm not gonna let you do this, do you hear?

Now, you don't love Harry Flack. You love me.

Yes, I do. Goodbye, Melvin.

How's it coming?

Okay, another few minutes.

Fake cover of a magazine.

Phony the cover of a magazine.

It's probably a criminal offense.

- You sure it'll work all right? - Oh, it'll work.

You know, I wouldn't do this for a friend of mine.

He might get in trouble.

With you. I don't care.

Thanks, Mr. Mergo, but there won't be any trouble.

You see, it's just for my girlfriend's family.

- No one else will ever see it. - Oh, you're mad kid.

You're a case for the couch.

Yes, sir.

- You want some sugar in it? - Oh, no, thanks. I like it blanc.

See? Now, you can sit over there tonight.

Harry. Here, next to Judy.

Clarabelle, get away from there. You know you shouldn't eavesdrop.

- What are they talking about? - Harry's telling another joke.

Oh!

So this is how it goes.

One fellow says to the other fellow, it's raining cats and dogs.

The other fellow says, I know. I just stepped in a poodle.

- Well, that's it, - Huh?

It's a play on the word poodle. Poodle puddle.

Oh, sure. Very funny, Harry.

If there's anything I like, it's a man with a sense of humor. Right, Judy?

I'll get it.

Well, now, sir, if I may, I'd like to go from the ridiculous to the sublime.

Oh, yes. Well, what's on your mind?

Well, last night, Judy and I had a talk.

- A very serious pow wow. - Well, what goes on here?

Well, as you know, my interest in Judy hasn't been one entirely of well...

Hi.

If you'll excuse me, I'll be right back.

Go on, Henry.

Maybe we better wait.

- Melvin? - Has he proposed to your father yet?

- No, but any minute. What is it? - Well, I've got something here.

Now, it's just for the family, but I figured

if they could see something, it might stall things.

See what?

Well, at least they'd see the possibilities.

- You know what I mean? - No.

Here.

Melvin! Melvin, you did it!

- Yeah. Mr. Mergo helped me. - But I thought you said it was impossible.

No, no. All we did was take the picture...

Now, it's not that important.

Oh, important. Don't you know what it means?

Oh, now, wait. Now, listen, Judy. You don't think...

- I can't believe it. - Look, look...

I just can't believe in it.

- Clarabelle, look, the cover. - Wooye!

Oh, wait till everybody see.

No, no, Judy, you can't. It's a secret now.

- Oh, I know it. - You don't know. Now, would you go away?

- I got talk... - Can't say anything to pop yet.

- Now, Judy, Judy... - I'll be right back.

Melvin!

Now don't go. Stay right there.

Now look... Judy!

Mr. Hoover you're wonderful.

Oh, no, Clarabelle. You would get...

Mrs. Wormbacher, can you keep a secret?

- Judy? You're so beautiful. - Also, it isn't out yet.

Don't tell a soul. Mrs. Burnsby. Look.

- Judy. - Tell him. I'll be right there.

Now, you've got to keep it a secret.

- Pass the potatoes, Frank. - Judy.

- She's coming. Mom. Pop. - Here you are.

- It's plain, but I hope it's good. - Delicious.

Mom, Pop!

I forgot the Brussels sprouts. Will you get them, honey?

- But mom. - Go on.

I'm hoping, Mr. Snyder, that this is going to be a festive occasion.

I don't imagine it's a secret that I am very fond of Judy.

Well, let's face it, I'm in love with her.

- But is in love with you? - Get the Brussels sprouts.

What I'm getting at, Mr. Snyder, is I hereby respectfully

ask your permission to make Judy my wife.

Insofar as my permission is concerned, I want to state right here and now...

- I'm sorry, Harry. I can't marry you. - Why not?

- Well, here. - What's this?

- My picture on the Cover. - Well, let me see.

- For heaven's sake. - Melvin did it.

- For heaven's sake. - She'll be famous.

She's famous already.

Well, it's not out yet. There's a date there, see?

- It'll be out the 20th. - 20th?

Oh, What you know?

I'm going to Hollywood. I did she that.

- May I see it, please? - Oh, of course, Harry.

Thank you.

Well, I can certainly understand why you don't want to get married now, Judy.

Especially to me.

Well, if you don't mind, I suppose I'd better run along.

I'll get your hat.

That's not necessary, Harry. Here. Finish your dinner,

Please.

Mr. Hoover. Melvin, come on up.

Harry's leaving. You can have a dinner.

You really don't have to run just because...

It's all right, Judy. It's all right.

- Best of luck to you. - Thank you, Harry.

Here's your hat.

- Be good to her, old man. - Melvin.

Hurry up.

Now, Judy. I don't like this.

Melvin. You should have seen their face.

- I don't like this, Judy. - Isn't she pretty, Frank?

They could have done a better printing job.

- Maybe because it's the first one. - Still weather.

- Here, he is. - Oh, hello, Melvin.

Oh, hi.

Oh, that picture is wonderful. Just wonderful.

Oh, thank you. I think we're making too much fuss.

Yes. Listen, it's gotta be kept quiet because Melvin

could get in a lot of trouble for showing it to us like this.

- Couldn't you? - Yeah. Yeah!

Young fella, I'll have to confess something to you.

Up to now, I thought you were a fake.

Shows you how wrong a man can. Sit down.

Oh yes Melvin, right here, have some food.

No, thanks. I'm not on an empty stomach.

oh, if there's anything I like, it's a man with a sense of humor.

- Right, Judy? - Right, Pops.

You'll have a million dollars in no time.

If I had a million dollars, I'd go in for mink.

I'd have a mink coat right down to the floor.

With a mink hat and a yellow convertible with a French poodle.

You'll be a big star.

You'll get a contract in Hollywood for $40,000 a week.

Judy Leroy, Mr. Gene Kelly, Mr. Fred Astaire on the set piece.

Tuesday, May 20.

Tuesday, May 20.

Morning. And a happy May the 20th to you.

Has look arrived? Yes? Has look arrived?

- No, not yet. - It will. It will.

Oh, yes, it will. Oh, yes, it will.

You're late, Schneider.

A tube of toothpaste and a can of Bicarb, please.

The good bicarb. Not that rat poison you put up under your own label.

- Are you drunk, Mr. Schneider? - Forget that Schneider routine.

I've just been to court, changing my name to Leroy.

Splendid. Are you drunk, Mr. Leroy?

No, no. And again no.

The bicarb, please. I'm in a rush.

- To look for another job, no doubt. - Yes.

For 20 years now, I've been wanting to tell you how I feel about you, Mr. Prowdy.

And now I'm going to do it.

Mr. Prowdy, I hate you.

Goodbye, Mr. Leroy.

I won't bother to inquire. What gives you the audacity...

- Magazine. - ...to walk in...

I'll show you what gives me the audacity.

This gives me the audacity. And this.

Your bicarbonate, sir.

Change to of ammonia.

- What happened? - Well, it was a mistake.

- Oh, hello, Judy. - I went to pick up a copy.

- I know I know. Now, listen... - There was a mistake.

- What kind of a mistake? - Well, it's not easy to explain.

You see, the date on that coverage.

You mean the date was wrong?

Oh, Melvin, don't tell me it was anything more than that.

Judy, I feel sick about this.

- It's one of the girls from the show. - I can't talk now.

She says it's not your picture.

Oh, I know that. Hello?

Oh, Mildred. Well, there's been a mistake.

Well, I'm not sure when they'll use it.

Maybe next issue, will they?

Judy, you weren't supposed to tell anybody.

- Well, I just told one girl. - One chorus girl.

And that's like putting it on the radio.

Mildred, I'll call you back.

Hello?

I still don't know what the mistake was.

Oh, yes. Well, I'm not sure yet.

Can I call you back later? All right. This afternoon.

- Now. The chorus girl, see? - No, the theater.

Mr. McAvitty wants to know if I'm going to go with the road company.

You mean you still have a job?

Well, I can if I want to, with the road company.

I've been stalling them off.

But if they're going to use the picture, then...

Well, if I were you, I take it. I tell them you'll go.

Why?

- She can't talk. - Don't you see?

When the cover comes out and you're

with the road company, it's better publicity.

Yeah, it's better publicity.

Melvin, why are you so nervous?

Nervous? Why should I be nervous?

Well, good morning. Good morning.

- I was just passing by. - It'll be out in the next issue.

But I didn't say anything. Any coffee in the pot, mom.

- It's cold. - Oh, well, then don't bother.

Well, Mr. Hoover, how's everything in the magazine business?

- Fine, fine. - Good, good.

Pops. Don't take it so hard.

It was just a mistake.

Well, Frank, why aren't you at the store?

- I've been fired. - Oh, Frank.

That candy kid sure is a great puncher.

I'll warm up the coffee.

The next issue, it'll be out. Next issue.

Well, if it isn't, I'd better take that job with the roadshow.

Judy. Darling.

- Where Am I? - Philadelphia, darling.

You've been out like a light since Monday night.

- Am I all right? - Oh, yes, darling, you're fine.

You just got a little kick in the head.

But you're not going to be a football ever again. Believe me.

I had the funniest dream. I thought...

What do you mean, I'm not going to be a football?

Is the magazine out the last issue?

- Yeah, that's out. - Well, let me see it, quick.

Oh, now, don't you worry, honey.

Your papa was here until just a little while

ago when the doctor said you'd be all right.

He left for New York.

He's going to speak to Look Magazine.

Yeah, he's going to speak to Melvin, too.

I think he's going to murder him.

Melvin? Oh, no. I've got to stop him.

- Where's my clothes? - Judy. Judy, honey, please.

Your papa wouldn't kill Melvin. Maybe punch him a little, that's all.

I don't want him punched. Hello, get me the airport.

- What is this? Where did you get it? - That's not important.

The question is when's it coming out?

I'd still like to know where it came from.

We might as well say.

This cover was shown to us by Melvin Hoover.

- Hoover? - Your photographer. Melvin Hoover.

- M-E-L-V-I-N. - Just a moment, please.

Is there a Melvin Hoover working for us?

I don't know, sir.

We'll find out and send him up here right away.

Yes, sir.

- Now, let's start at the beginning. - What's with the beginning?

All I want to know is...

Ah, please, please let me handle this.

This gentleman is a very close friend of mine.

- His name is Frank Leroy. - My name's Schneider.

Oh, fine. Well, Mr. Schneider's daughter,

Miss Judy Leroy, is the girl on this cover.

He knows that she's a football on Broadway.

Oh?

Pops, don't hurt him. Please, please don't hurt him.

- Now, look here. - Don't kill him.

- What's going on? - I'll call the police.

What are you doing here? Did the doctor say your head's all right?

My head's fine. Just don't hurt Melvin, please.

Hurt him? I'll twist his ears off.

Excuse me. Did your Mr. Hoover take this picture?

Yes, and all the others, too.

I know he shouldn't have shown us the cover yet,

but please don't fire him. I don't care if the cover never comes out.

Just don't let him get in any trouble.

I don't think we have to worry about the cover coming out.

- You see, it's a fake. - What?

- A fake? - A very clever one.

This man evidently knows his business,

- but a fake nevertheless. - Don't hurt him. I'll rip him apart.

A fake?

- Oh, Melvin! - For heaven's sake.

Oh, now, Judy, don't take it to heart.

There are much more important things besides having a picture on a magazine.

Mr. Snyder, in spite of all that's happened,

I still stand ready to marry your daughter.

And in spite of all that's happened, I still love Melvin.

I know why he did this. To stop me from marrying you.

And I think he was absolutely right.

- Judy, think what you're saying. - He's absolutely right.

I'm busy, Mergo.

They told me you're looking for Melvin Hoover.

Well?

He was my assistant. He quit three weeks ago.

- Quit? - Well, where is he now?

Who knows? The last I saw him, he's going

out to throw himself off a tall building.

- Oh, no. - Oh, he didn't do it.

- I'd have heard from him first. - How do you know?

He promised me the shot.

Anything else?

Oh, please help me find him. You've got to.

The whole thing's my fault.

Asking to get my picture on the cover. Asking the impossible.

Oh, please, help me. Please.

I love him. I love Melvin.

Harvey? Can I see you for a minute? I think I've got something for you.

Sure, come in.

Come on. I want you to meet our editor in chief.

- Hey. Hey. You better stop this. - Stop what?

- Whatever they're gonna do. - Where is he?

- Which one is? - I don't know...

Please be quiet!

Melvin Hoover. Disappeared on or about July...

Age 24. Height five. Eyes blue.

Hair brown. He was last seen.

Attention all precincts, pick up and hold.

Melvin Hoover. Age 24. Eyes blue. Hair brown.

Complexion when last seen, very pale.

Hey, that guy, he looks... it was him.

- Who? - Come on.

- Where'd you get that? That's mine. - I bought it.

- What's the matter with you? - You bought it?

But that's the only copy in the world. I printed it myself.

- Just flipped his lid. - Give me that.

Help!

Help!

There he is. Hey, stop it.

Hey, you, stop.

- In the park, sir. - Cover every exit.

Melvin!

Melvin where are you?

That's the guy, stop it.

Get him.

Melvin! Melvin!

Melvin where are you?

Melvin! Melvin!

Melvin! Oh Melvin!

Melvin, darling. Oh, Melvin, Melvin darling.

Oh, Melvin, You're awake.

Judy? Judy! You hate, I don't blame you.

No, no. I don't. My picture on the cover.

Here.

Melvin you did just like you promise.

Yeah! Yeah! I did it! I did it!

- How? - What's difference?

- Melvin, you're wonderful. - Oh, Judy...

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.

- I've hurt you? - Melvin.

Subtitles: Kilo