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1
00:00:01,252 --> 00:00:03,796
[man] One, two, a-one,
two, three, and...
2
00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:05,756
[opening theme music playing]
3
00:00:20,229 --> 00:00:25,693
♪ Chico, don't be
Discouraged ♪
4
00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:29,947
♪ The Man he ain't
So hard to understand ♪
5
00:00:31,449 --> 00:00:36,454
♪ Chico, if you try now ♪
6
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:41,709
♪ I know that you can
Lend a helping hand ♪
7
00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:44,462
♪ Because there's good
In everyone ♪
8
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:47,298
♪ And a new day has begun ♪
9
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:53,095
♪ You can see
The morning sun if you try ♪
10
00:00:53,137 --> 00:00:57,850
♪ And I know,
Things will be better ♪
11
00:00:57,933 --> 00:01:03,773
♪ Oh yes they will
For Chico and the Man ♪
12
00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:07,651
♪ Yes they will
For Chico and the Man ♪
13
00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:57,535
[coughing]
14
00:01:59,537 --> 00:02:00,704
Too much water.
15
00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:03,874
Good morning, Ed!
16
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,925
♪ I'm a living proof ♪
17
00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:14,468
♪ that life is funny ♪
18
00:02:14,552 --> 00:02:18,138
♪ What's trash to you,
To me is money ♪
19
00:02:18,222 --> 00:02:20,014
[laughs]
20
00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:22,393
[coughing]
21
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:26,313
Hey, hey, hey.
That's a bad cough you got there.
22
00:02:26,397 --> 00:02:28,023
Did you catch cold?
23
00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:30,901
No, no, I got a piece of
bourbon stuck in my throat.
24
00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:38,576
Hi, Louie.
25
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,536
Hi, Monica.
26
00:02:40,578 --> 00:02:43,788
- How's everything?
- Well, as we say in the garbage business,
27
00:02:43,873 --> 00:02:45,082
it's picking up.
28
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:50,337
Mmm. I simply adore that perfume.
29
00:02:50,421 --> 00:02:51,297
Thank you, Louie.
30
00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:53,048
That's a nice compliment.
31
00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:55,092
I wouldn't take Louie's compliments
too seriously, you know.
32
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,719
He's been driving a garbage truck.
33
00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:00,264
His nose died five years ago.
34
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:03,142
Well, it happens to be a very
popular perfume with girls my age.
35
00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:06,520
- Yeah? First time.
- It's called 'First time'.
36
00:03:06,604 --> 00:03:08,063
You know something, Monica.
37
00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:09,940
I used to go out with a girl
that used to use that.
38
00:03:10,024 --> 00:03:11,650
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
39
00:03:11,734 --> 00:03:14,570
Come to think of it, hers
wasn't called 'First time',
40
00:03:14,612 --> 00:03:16,947
hers was called 'Anytime'.
41
00:03:19,575 --> 00:03:20,784
Well, here. Try some of this.
42
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,870
Oh no, no, no.
43
00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:25,038
Will you stop spraying
that stuff around?
44
00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:27,249
The flies are beginning to hold hands.
45
00:03:28,626 --> 00:03:29,793
Hi, everybody.
46
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:38,886
What's that smell?
47
00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:40,971
I hope it isn't something
we're having for dinner.
48
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:42,973
Thanks a lot.
49
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:44,934
Well, I gotta go.
50
00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:46,143
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
51
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,811
Where you going?
52
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:50,856
I got an appointment with a big TV
director today, and I have a feeling
53
00:03:50,940 --> 00:03:52,316
today's gonna be my lucky day.
54
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:55,527
Yeah. Well, let's hope
it isn't his lucky day.
55
00:03:55,611 --> 00:03:58,364
Yeah. Listen, I'd better give you
some money for the bus here.
56
00:03:58,447 --> 00:03:59,615
No, no, that's okay.
57
00:03:59,657 --> 00:04:00,991
I'm just gonna hitch a ride, okay?
58
00:04:01,075 --> 00:04:03,035
No, Monica, I don't
want you hitchhiking.
59
00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:04,244
Why not?
60
00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:06,163
Hitchhiking is a great
way to meet people.
61
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:09,166
Now, what would that big TV
director say if you hitchhiked?
62
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:12,294
I think it would be much better
if Louie would take you
63
00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:14,004
over there in his garbage truck.
64
00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:17,967
Yeah. Louie has to go
to the studio anyhow.
65
00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:20,010
He has to pick up the
Gong Show this week.
66
00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:23,806
That's really sweet of you, Louie,
67
00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:25,432
but I'm gonna get my own ride.
68
00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:26,725
Yeah. Wait a minute.
69
00:04:26,809 --> 00:04:27,976
Wait a minute.
That could be dangerous.
70
00:04:28,017 --> 00:04:30,229
And I know what I'm talking about.
71
00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:32,690
You know, when I was a kid, I was standing
in the middle of the road thumbing a ride,
72
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:33,857
and I got hurt.
73
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,150
What happened?
74
00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:37,361
Did you get run over by a covered wagon?
75
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,029
[both laughing]
76
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,952
I'm just kidding.
77
00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:47,121
- You know I love you.
- Yeah.
78
00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:49,832
Don't be surprised if,
by this time tomorrow,
79
00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:52,876
my picture is in every
newspaper in town.
80
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,962
Hollywood, here I come.
81
00:04:55,713 --> 00:04:57,548
Remember, no hitchhiking.
82
00:04:57,630 --> 00:05:01,510
Don't let a stranger pick you up and
watch out crossing the street.
83
00:05:01,552 --> 00:05:03,887
Well, one good thing
about having children.
84
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:05,973
They drive you to drink.
85
00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:07,933
[in Spanish] I think Monica is right.
86
00:05:08,017 --> 00:05:10,060
You worry too much, Uncle Ed.
87
00:05:10,144 --> 00:05:11,645
Yeah, Raul's right.
88
00:05:11,729 --> 00:05:13,313
You worry too much.
89
00:05:13,397 --> 00:05:17,818
People these days are afraid to
stop and pick up hitchhikers.
90
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:20,154
She ain't gonna never get no ride.
91
00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:21,904
[tires screech in distance]
92
00:05:23,032 --> 00:05:24,408
[man] Hi, baby, want a lift?
93
00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:26,827
Let's go.
94
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:28,996
[engine accelerating]
95
00:05:31,749 --> 00:05:33,166
She got a ride.
96
00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:39,839
Hey, this is not bad considering
it's the first meal I ever cooked.
97
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:44,261
Hey, if you wanna, I'll cook
some tomorrow night too.
98
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,013
Okay.
99
00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:48,891
But can we have something else besides
peanut butter and jelly tacos?
100
00:05:54,772 --> 00:05:56,148
Hey, she's getting on nine o'clock.
101
00:05:56,231 --> 00:05:58,442
I'm beginning to worry about Monica.
102
00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,944
I hope she got into a
big director's office.
103
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:02,196
I'm not worried about her getting in.
104
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:03,906
I'm worried about her getting out.
105
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:09,286
[motorcycles approaching]
106
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:33,017
What's the matter with you guys?
107
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:34,686
Are you trying to wreck my garage?
108
00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:36,146
What's going on here?
109
00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:44,238
Well, listen, you guys, if you're
looking to invade Poland,
110
00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:46,156
it's 9,000 miles that way.
111
00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:50,202
Hey, pops, don't get your pistons hot.
112
00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:52,287
I mean, that ain't my fault.
113
00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:54,706
- I got no brakes.
- No brakes?
114
00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:55,958
How do you drive around?
115
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,793
What do I need with brakes?
116
00:06:57,835 --> 00:07:00,629
I got that bike to go, not stop.
117
00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:03,005
[all] Vroom, vroom, vroom.
118
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,592
Hey, Monica, who are these people?
119
00:07:05,676 --> 00:07:07,052
These are some friends of mine.
120
00:07:07,136 --> 00:07:08,470
They just picked me up.
121
00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:09,596
I was hitchhiking.
122
00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:10,848
This is Digger,
123
00:07:11,849 --> 00:07:15,144
Hog, and Claw.
124
00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:17,146
Guys, say hello to my uncle Ed.
125
00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:20,315
[bikers] Vroom, vroom, vroom.
126
00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:23,694
Hey, I didn't know King
Kong had a family.
127
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:26,488
Yeah, aren't they terrific?
128
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:27,698
Yeah. You get upstairs.
129
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,575
Come on. You too. Upstairs.
130
00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,785
- I want you out of here, right away.
- Why? Why can't I stay?
131
00:07:31,869 --> 00:07:34,037
Come on. Now, gentlemen.
132
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,914
I don't want to detain you.
133
00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:38,792
I'm sure you're on your way to
someplace that's very important.
134
00:07:38,876 --> 00:07:40,794
Like, San Quentin, I hope.
135
00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:41,962
Hey, Hey.
136
00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:43,755
He's a funny man, ain't he, Hog?
137
00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:45,048
Yeah, we like funny man.
138
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:47,009
Hey, funny man.
139
00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:48,886
Ain't you got something for us to drink?
140
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,888
Sure, water.
141
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,973
Oh man, not just water.
142
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:54,808
We want something that goes with it.
143
00:07:54,892 --> 00:07:56,226
How about a bar of soap?
144
00:07:57,728 --> 00:08:02,357
Hey, you are definitely
being inhospitable.
145
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:06,695
I mean, when you have guests like us,
don't you usually open something up?
146
00:08:06,737 --> 00:08:08,238
Sure, a window.
147
00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:12,159
Now, listen.
148
00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:14,828
- Pops.
- Don't call me Pops.
149
00:08:14,912 --> 00:08:16,580
I never met your mother.
150
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,248
Neither did he.
151
00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:19,750
[laughs]
152
00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:26,381
[Digger straining]
153
00:08:29,593 --> 00:08:31,345
I got the feeling he doesn't like us.
154
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:32,471
Yeah.
155
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:34,223
What do you got against us, old man?
156
00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:36,516
Well, for one thing, look
at the way you're dressed.
157
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,352
What's the matter with
the way we're dressed?
158
00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:41,271
Your clothes look like they
came out of a hefty bag.
159
00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:44,066
And look at his feet.
160
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:49,863
Are you making fun of my friend
161
00:08:49,947 --> 00:08:51,280
because he lost a boot?
162
00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:54,117
I didn't lose a boot,
Digger, I found one.
163
00:08:55,953 --> 00:09:01,416
Hey, guys, he doesn't like
the way we're dressed here.
164
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:05,545
- What would you like to see us in?
- A cage.
165
00:09:05,629 --> 00:09:08,173
Now, listen, you guys, I want
you out of here right away.
166
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:11,385
And don't drag your knuckles across
the floor while you're leaving.
167
00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:14,429
Hey, what's the matter with you guys?
168
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:16,056
Why are you hanging around here?
169
00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:17,724
Don't you have a job or
something to go to?
170
00:09:17,808 --> 00:09:18,976
What do we need with the job?
171
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,059
Well, how do you make a living?
172
00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:21,311
How do you get your money?
173
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:23,146
Hog's mother is on welfare.
174
00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:26,900
We take turns stealing her check.
175
00:09:26,984 --> 00:09:29,319
Vroom, vroom, vroom...
176
00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:33,282
We've got some news for you, old man.
177
00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:34,783
We ain't going nowhere.
178
00:09:34,825 --> 00:09:35,993
We're staying right here.
179
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,910
- This is perfect.
- Is that so?
180
00:09:37,995 --> 00:09:38,996
Yeah.
181
00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:40,622
- Free gas.
- Free tools.
182
00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:42,082
Pretty girl upstairs.
183
00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:43,792
Yeah?
184
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,669
You better get out of here because
I'm gonna call the cops.
185
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:47,504
Call the cops?
186
00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:54,386
Hey, calling the cops
is definitely uncool.
187
00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:58,348
I mean, Uncle Ed. Do you know what's gonna
happen if you blow the whistle on us?
188
00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:00,100
No, what's going to happen?
189
00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:03,352
Eighty bikers will be down here
and do wheelies on your face.
190
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:05,856
Why you...
191
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,024
Give me that.
192
00:10:10,027 --> 00:10:11,111
[grunting]
193
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,866
Well, let that be a lesson to you.
194
00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:17,701
Ouch.
195
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:20,370
Vroom, vroom, vroom...
196
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:23,498
Now, look, old man.
197
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:27,085
- We don't want no trouble.
- But we ain't afraid of nothing'.
198
00:10:27,169 --> 00:10:28,628
We don't want no trouble.
199
00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:30,255
But Chongo does.
200
00:10:30,339 --> 00:10:32,758
Chongo loves trouble.
201
00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:34,217
Yeah? Who's Chongo?
202
00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:35,552
Chongo is our leader.
203
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:38,554
And we're staying until
Chongo gets here.
204
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:43,309
[all] Chongo!
Vroom, vroom, vroom.
205
00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:45,812
Chongo!
Vroom, vroom, vroom.
206
00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:48,065
Chongo!
207
00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:51,193
What happened to "Vroom, vroom, vroom"?
208
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:11,671
Should I ask them when they're leaving?
209
00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:13,340
How many times do I have to tell you?
210
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,592
Never annoy the animals
when they're eating.
211
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:17,844
Don't worry, when they're through,
212
00:11:17,928 --> 00:11:19,846
I'll throw them out myself.
213
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:22,182
Well, don't lose your temper, Uncle Ed.
214
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:26,686
Hey, Hog, I never did like that song.
215
00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:27,854
Change station.
216
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:34,611
Did you see that mean looking hook?
217
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:38,448
Yeah. It just goes to show you what will
happen if you keep biting your nails.
218
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,619
Hey, this is good chicken.
219
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,871
- Where'd you get it, Hog?
- At the restaurant,
220
00:11:44,955 --> 00:11:47,290
- across the street.
- Across the street?
221
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:48,291
That's no restaurant.
222
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:49,793
That's a private home.
223
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,962
No wonder the family
put up such a fight.
224
00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:56,216
Chicken's good, but greasy.
225
00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:57,801
Yeah, me too.
226
00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:02,472
Hello, folks.
And how's everybody?
227
00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:11,731
Ooo-ee, I got more trash
than I usually have.
228
00:12:14,317 --> 00:12:15,735
Well, what's that?
229
00:12:15,819 --> 00:12:18,071
That's my claw.
230
00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:22,492
It must come in handy if you
have to scratch for poison ivy.
231
00:12:26,455 --> 00:12:28,790
Now walk over there and sit down.
232
00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:30,792
I will not.
233
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:32,961
- You won't?
- No.
234
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:36,339
I'll run over there and sit down.
235
00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:39,593
Who are those guys?
236
00:12:39,676 --> 00:12:41,261
They're a motorcycle gang.
237
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:42,846
They're waiting for Chongo.
238
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:44,097
Who's Chongo?
239
00:12:44,181 --> 00:12:46,516
Chongo is their leader.
240
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:51,480
Well, maybe Chongo won't bother us if we
give him a couple of bananas to eat.
241
00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:52,772
Try to play with it.
242
00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:54,316
[Ed] Yeah.
243
00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:56,401
Oh, Uncle Ed, this is all my fault.
244
00:12:56,485 --> 00:12:59,779
I'm sorry I didn't listen to you
when you told me not to hitchhike.
245
00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:01,907
Aw, it's all right, honey.
Don't worry about a thing.
246
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:04,659
As long as I'm around, nothing's
gonna happen to you.
247
00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:07,996
Well, what about me, Uncle Ed?
248
00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:10,916
[motorcycle approaching]
249
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:12,833
It's Chongo.
250
00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:27,682
It's a girl!
251
00:13:31,061 --> 00:13:32,354
Give me a cigarette, will you?
252
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:38,860
Thanks.
253
00:13:45,242 --> 00:13:46,910
- I'm thirsty.
- Over there.
254
00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:54,125
Miss. Excuse me, miss, but that
that thing's out of order.
255
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,044
[snarls]
256
00:13:56,086 --> 00:13:57,754
- Ha!
- [drink clatters]
257
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,511
How did she do that?
258
00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:25,448
Help me off with my jacket.
259
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:31,454
[grunts]
260
00:14:36,293 --> 00:14:38,211
I haven't slept since Tuesday.
261
00:14:38,295 --> 00:14:39,546
Wake me in four minutes.
262
00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:41,631
Anything you say, Chongo.
263
00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:47,304
I thought they were gonna
leave when Chongo got here.
264
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,431
Not so loud.
You'll wake her up.
265
00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:51,683
- What are we gonna do now, Ed?
- I don't know.
266
00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:53,101
Give me a chance to think here.
267
00:14:53,143 --> 00:14:55,645
- Thank fast!
- I'm thinking, I'm thinking.
268
00:14:57,981 --> 00:14:59,566
Hey, I got it.
269
00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:03,695
Monica, Raul and I will
engage them in conversation.
270
00:15:03,778 --> 00:15:07,949
And while we're talking, you sneak
around to the phone and call the cops.
271
00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:09,618
Hey, that's a good idea.
272
00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:15,498
[Digger] Yes?
273
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,334
I'm just going there to use the phone.
274
00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:23,590
[grunts]
275
00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:39,481
Now what we're gonna do?
276
00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:42,192
Well, it looks like the
phone idea is dead.
277
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,486
I wish you wouldn't use
that word, "dead."
278
00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:47,989
How else can we send for help?
279
00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:51,576
Well, I don't know.
Maybe I ought to take an ad in the Yellow Pages.
280
00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:53,161
- No, I got an idea.
- Yeah?
281
00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:55,914
I saw a movie last night,
one of them old movies,
282
00:15:55,997 --> 00:16:00,168
where these escaped convicts was
in this hero's house holed-in.
283
00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:04,047
So while they were there, the hero
lit a fire in the wastebasket.
284
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:06,675
And while they were trying to put
the fire out in the wastebasket,
285
00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:09,719
- the hero dashed to the door.
- And he got away?
286
00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:11,721
- No, he got killed.
- Oh.
287
00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:16,726
Well, outside of that, it
was a pretty good plan.
288
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:19,396
Louie, have you ever thought
of committing yourself
289
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,815
to the Home for the Incurably Stupid?
290
00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:24,275
Wait a minute.
291
00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:25,443
I got a better idea.
292
00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:26,820
- What is it?
- Tell you what.
293
00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:30,323
You fake having an attack of some kind.
294
00:16:30,407 --> 00:16:33,660
Get out there in the middle, while
they're looking and watching you,
295
00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:35,286
I'll make a break for it.
296
00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:36,579
Hey, that's a heck of an idea.
297
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:37,914
Okay, go ahead.
298
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,833
Why does it always have to be me?
299
00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:40,917
Come on.
300
00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:07,068
[cheering]
301
00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:10,530
What the hell were you doing?
302
00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:11,781
Doing what you told me to do.
303
00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:13,450
- Have an attack.
- No, you weren't.
304
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:14,701
You were dancing.
305
00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:16,536
- I was?
- Yeah.
306
00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:18,788
I got more rhythm than I thought I had.
307
00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:21,916
Wake up, Chongo.
308
00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:25,670
What are we gonna do?
309
00:17:25,754 --> 00:17:27,046
Yeah. What are we gonna do?
310
00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:30,300
Wait a minute, I know
what we're gonna do.
311
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,802
- What?
- I'll tell you what we're gonna do.
312
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:34,095
Nothing.
313
00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:35,555
- Nothing?
- Nothing.
314
00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:36,973
That's right.
315
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,808
See, because these
characters are dangerous.
316
00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:40,560
And I don't want anybody
fooling around with him
317
00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:42,395
because somebody's liable to get hurt.
318
00:17:42,479 --> 00:17:43,438
Good thinking. Good thinking.
319
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,064
Sit down.
320
00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:48,067
Keep calm, cool and collected.
321
00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:50,612
And don't upset them, and
everything will work out okay.
322
00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:52,321
- All right?
- All right.
323
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:53,490
Okay.
324
00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:57,535
- Hey, you.
- Who, me?
325
00:17:57,619 --> 00:17:59,119
Yeah, you.
Get me something to eat.
326
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,791
Stick it in your ear!
327
00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:06,503
Well, there goes Plan B.
328
00:18:08,338 --> 00:18:10,256
Don't get excited, Miss Chongo.
329
00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:11,508
I'll get you something to eat.
330
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:12,675
Hold it!
331
00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:16,137
I say she gets it.
332
00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:19,098
I say stick it in your other ear.
333
00:18:19,182 --> 00:18:20,767
Excuse you, sister.
334
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,602
I guess you don't know who I am.
335
00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:25,522
I don't even know what you are.
336
00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:29,943
Hey, old man.
337
00:18:30,819 --> 00:18:32,695
Your next of kin.
338
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,864
Where do you want us to send the body?
339
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,659
Now you listen to me.
340
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:41,371
I've been sitting there for two hours
watching you push a lot of people around.
341
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:43,248
Well, this is my family, see.
342
00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:46,292
You lay one finger on 'em and I'll
wipe up the entire joint with you.
343
00:18:46,376 --> 00:18:48,253
Got it?
344
00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:51,130
Hey, you guys, what do
you think of that?
345
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:56,636
That's what I've been
trying to teach you jerks.
346
00:18:56,719 --> 00:19:00,682
You just saw an example of something
that our gang needs. Loyalty.
347
00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:02,684
I like that.
348
00:19:02,725 --> 00:19:03,977
And I like you, too.
349
00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:06,479
I wanna tell you something.
350
00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:09,983
Nobody's gonna hurt your
family as long as I'm around.
351
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:15,071
Well, then I think we're
gonna get along.
352
00:19:15,738 --> 00:19:16,906
All right.
353
00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:19,325
And just to show you we're friends,
354
00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:21,160
I'm gonna give you my jacket.
355
00:19:21,244 --> 00:19:24,664
Hey, I don't like what's
going on around here.
356
00:19:24,747 --> 00:19:25,999
What's the matter with Chongo?
357
00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:27,834
I never saw her act like this before.
358
00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:29,460
I'll tell you what's wrong with her.
359
00:19:29,544 --> 00:19:31,671
She's gone soft.
360
00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:33,840
Hey. Well, we haven't really met yet.
361
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,300
- My name is Monica.
- Monica.
362
00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:37,218
- And this is my friend Louie.
- Hey, Louie.
363
00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:39,220
This is my adopted brother, Raul.
364
00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:41,763
And this is my adopted uncle, Ed Brown.
365
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,516
Wait a minute.
366
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,852
- Ed Brown?
- [Ed] Ed Brown.
367
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,686
That name sounds familiar.
368
00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:48,938
You from Philadelphia?
369
00:19:49,772 --> 00:19:52,025
Yeah, I'm from Philadelphia.
370
00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:55,528
Did you own a garage at
1659 Riverside Drive?
371
00:19:55,612 --> 00:19:56,946
Yeah.
372
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,448
Did a little 11-year-old
girl come in there?
373
00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:00,617
And you taught her all
you know about motors?
374
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:01,826
Yeah, sure, sure.
375
00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:03,036
I remember her very well.
376
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:06,039
Her name was Lavinia Pemberton.
377
00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:07,290
Uncle Ed!
378
00:20:08,124 --> 00:20:09,042
Yes!
379
00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:11,544
You're Lavinia Pemberton?
380
00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:12,879
Yeah.
381
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:15,298
[all] Lavinia Pemberton?
382
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:16,715
Yuck.
383
00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:18,801
- Oh, Uncle Ed.
- Oh.
384
00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:22,055
Lavinia, how you've grown!
385
00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:26,059
Hey, Miss Chongo, can I
have one of your jackets?
386
00:20:26,142 --> 00:20:27,101
Sure.
387
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,731
There you go.
388
00:20:31,814 --> 00:20:34,651
Oh, Lavinia, you really have grown.
389
00:20:36,653 --> 00:20:39,571
Hey, Chongo, me and Digger and Hog,
390
00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:43,534
we've been watching what's going on
here, and we don't like what we see.
391
00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:45,744
Well, I like what I see.
392
00:20:45,828 --> 00:20:47,789
We figured you're going soft.
393
00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:50,124
We don't follow nobody who goes soft.
394
00:20:50,166 --> 00:20:54,420
- So, we took a little vote and you're out.
- And I'm in.
395
00:20:54,504 --> 00:20:56,089
And that's fine with me.
396
00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:57,256
Now, blow!
397
00:20:59,092 --> 00:21:03,304
Yeah, we'll blow.
But before we do...
398
00:21:03,346 --> 00:21:04,847
[laughs maliciously]
399
00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:07,725
we're gonna take this garage apart
400
00:21:07,809 --> 00:21:10,311
brick by brick.
401
00:21:10,353 --> 00:21:11,436
[growls]
402
00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:14,857
All right. Wait a minute.
403
00:21:18,695 --> 00:21:19,862
Aren't you gonna say goodbye?
404
00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:21,614
Yeah, sure, Chong--
405
00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:23,366
[screams]
406
00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:26,494
[grunts]
407
00:21:26,536 --> 00:21:28,663
Now, wait a minute.
408
00:21:28,705 --> 00:21:30,289
What do you think you're doing?
409
00:21:37,505 --> 00:21:39,215
[indistinct chatter]
410
00:21:45,221 --> 00:21:48,057
Now, let that be a lesson to you.
411
00:21:58,734 --> 00:21:59,986
[Chongo] Raul.
412
00:22:03,740 --> 00:22:05,491
Here you are, Miss Chongo.
413
00:22:05,575 --> 00:22:06,492
Thanks.
414
00:22:10,872 --> 00:22:12,582
Well, I guess, I better get rolling.
415
00:22:12,665 --> 00:22:15,292
I hope I can find my way
out of town at night.
416
00:22:15,376 --> 00:22:17,253
Well, just follow the yellow brick road.
417
00:22:18,379 --> 00:22:19,255
Thank you.
418
00:22:20,757 --> 00:22:22,967
It is getting pretty late.
419
00:22:23,051 --> 00:22:24,177
Wait a minute.
420
00:22:26,262 --> 00:22:28,388
Uncle Ed, could Chongo
spend the night with us?
421
00:22:29,098 --> 00:22:31,851
Oh, here we go again.
422
00:22:31,934 --> 00:22:33,436
First he shows up, then you.
423
00:22:33,519 --> 00:22:34,686
And now she's invited.
424
00:22:34,771 --> 00:22:36,939
- She is?
- Thanks, Uncle Ed.
425
00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:39,859
No, no, I--
426
00:22:39,942 --> 00:22:44,571
See, I told you, aunt Chongo,
once you know how to handle him,
427
00:22:44,614 --> 00:22:46,240
he's a pussycat.
428
00:22:57,085 --> 00:23:01,214
Margaret, would you
explain something to me?
429
00:23:01,297 --> 00:23:04,842
How come all these people
keep moving in here?
430
00:23:04,926 --> 00:23:07,303
And why is it that I'm going broke
431
00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:10,388
doing the same thing that
made Howard Johnson rich?
432
00:23:20,608 --> 00:23:22,568
[announcer] Chico and the Man
is recorded live before
433
00:23:22,652 --> 00:23:26,030
a studio audience at NBC
Studios, Burbank, California.
434
00:23:26,114 --> 00:23:27,824
[closing theme song playing]
435
00:23:27,907 --> 00:23:30,243
♪ Chico was born in El Barrio ♪
436
00:23:30,326 --> 00:23:34,413
♪ Spent much of his time
In the street ♪
437
00:23:34,497 --> 00:23:38,084
♪ His mind was craving
For knowledge ♪
438
00:23:38,167 --> 00:23:40,294
♪ His belly for something
To eat ♪
439
00:23:40,336 --> 00:23:43,756
♪ Times are hard ♪
440
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:46,676
♪ For Chico and the Man ♪
441
00:23:47,927 --> 00:23:50,721
♪ Times are hard ♪
442
00:23:50,805 --> 00:23:54,517
♪ For Chico and the Man ♪
443
00:23:56,853 --> 00:23:58,311
♪ All right ♪
31608
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