Original subtitles

[man] One, two. a-one two, three, and...

[opening theme song playing]

♪ Chico, don't be Discouraged♪

♪ The Man, he ain't So hard to understand ♪

♪ Chico ♪

♪ If you try now ♪

♪ I know that you can Lend a helping hand ♪

♪ Because there's good In everyone ♪

♪ And a new day Has begun ♪

♪ You can see The morning sun ♪

♪ If you try ♪

♪ And I know Things will be better ♪

♪ Oh, yes, they will ♪

♪ For Chico And The Man ♪

♪ Yes they will ♪

♪ For Chico and The Man ♪

Raul, give me the end of that banner that, son.

- Here. - Attaboy.

- Yes, sir. - A little higher, Uncle Louie.

- A little higher? Okay. - That's good.

- Right there. - All right.

That's perfect.

What is that?

That's the welcome sign for Della's son and wife.

Raul painted it.

Yeah, I did it all by myself.

No kidding. He did a good job.

But I think I ought to point out to you

that "welcome" only has one "L" in it.

See, I told you, Uncle Louie.

That's funny. All my life, I've been spelling it with two L's.

They must have changed it just recently.

Hi, fellas.

Hi, Della.

- Ed? - Yeah.

I'm getting together a couple of things for Tony's baby.

Have you got any safety pins?

No, but I've got a couple of battery clamps.

How about that?

Della. I bet you're all excited

about seeing your son again.

Of course, I'm excited.

I haven't seen him since he moved to Hawai'i.

- [Louie] Yeah. - And today I'm going to meet my daughter in law,

and my grandson for the first time.

- That's really nice. - I can't believe you're a grandmother.

You only look old enough to be an aunt.

Why, thank you, Raul.

An old aunt.

That's a hot one, Ed.

It wasn't that hot.

I'm so happy.

My baby's coming home today.

How long is he gonna stay here, Aunt Della?

As long as it takes her to write a check.

Tell me, what crazy scheme is he trying to get you interested in this time?

A dating service for shy rabbits?

Oh, Ed, I admit it. Tony has been very irresponsible,

but he's married now,

and he's got a little baby, and people change.

- [Ed] Yeah. - She's right, Ed.

People change.

You see, I used to be colored.

But now I'm black.

Yeah, I just got this feeling that Tony is ready to settle down.

I bet he'll even accept my offer.

If he don't, I will.

Louie, you don't even know what I'm going to offer him.

Why does Louie care?

Whatever it is, it'll be a step up.

What's the offer, Aunt Della?

Well, honey, I'm gonna ask him to come into business with me.

I'm gonna make him a full partner.

Do you hear that, Uncle Ed?

She's making her son a partner.

Not like some people I know.

Oh, you want to be a partner?

Good. From now on, you're a silent partner.

Yeah. What do I do?

Shut up.

[horn honking]

Hey, Mama! Mama Dell!

Oh, that's my Tony! Tony!

- Oh, baby. - Hey, Mama.

Oh, baby.

- Oh, let me look at you. Let me look at you. - Feast your eyes, Mama.

Feast your eyes.

You're just as modest as ever, aren't you, honey?

You know me. Honesty before modesty, right?

Speaking of which, I would like

your honest unbiased opinion of...

Mama, this is your grandson.

Oh, Tony. He is beautiful.

- Ain't he though? - He is gorgeous.

He is wet.

Let me have him. Let me have him.

Hey, listen, honey. Where's Pearl?

Oh, Peal is still in Hawaii. She'll be here in a few days.

I'll explain later.

Hey, Mama, don't turn around.

- Why? - We're being watched.

What?

Oh, no, no. These are my friends.

I'm sorry. Come on.

Hey, if you give me a dime, I'll look at your baby.

- You have got to be Raoul. - Right.

I got to be me.

And this is my--

Don't tell me, Mom.

I know who they are from your letters.

Sharp hat here,

he's Ed, the mechanic, right?

- You brother Louie, the garbage man. - Right.

And you're Tony, the rabbit matchmaker.

Oh, Ed. Cut that out.

All right. All right.

Nice to meet you, Tony.

- Nice to meet you. What's happening, bro? - All right.

Come on, Tony. Let's get this baby in the house.

Okay. Hey, it was nice meeting y'all.

[Louie] Yeah.

Hey, little man, come here, man.

[speaking Spanish]

Hey, where did you learn how to speak Spanish

so rotten?

UCLA.

You dropped out, huh?

Right, right.

Here, man.

All right.

[laughs]

You know something, man?

- What? - I really like Della's son.

- Yeah? - Yeah. He seems like a real cool dude.

- Am I cool dude too, Uncle Louie? - Why Raul?

Of course you're cool.

All my friends are cool.

Except maybe your Uncle Ed.

I resent that.

You wanna see cool?

Stick them out, Louie.

Oh, not again, Ed.

Come on. Come on. Let's do it.

There. That's cool.

Come on, come on.

That's a baby.

That's a pretty...

[indistinct cooing]

And get that wet diapie off that baby too.

Oh, sugar, I'm so glad to have y'all here.

I'm glad to be back.

Listen, when do we expect Pearl?

Um...

I meant to tell you about this.

See, just when we were about to leave for the airport,

she got a call that her best friend had a accident.

Really bad. When, so, like,

she decided she had to stay for a while.

Oh, well, I could understand that.

Yeah, I knew you would, Mom.

By the way, I left your number here.

Were there any calls for me?

No, honey. Was it something important?

Oh, could be, Mom, I'm working on a big deal.

Oh, nothing important, huh?

There you go. Now, I haven't been here ten minutes, Mama.

Well, I'm improving. Last time it was only five.

So you're still hung up with your crazy deals?

No way. No way.

This one is something else.

That's what you say about all of them.

What about that restaurant you opened?

Soul food and pineapple.

Yeah. Roots and Fruits.

- Oh, yeah. - Roots and Fruits.

How much of my money did you lose on that one?

Mom, I'm gonna get you your money back

because this new idea I got is dynamite.

Dynamite?

Where was the dynamite when you needed it

to blow up that restaurant

to get your insurance?

Mama, this new idea is a winner.

I call it Celebrity Dashikis.

Well, I... I see the dashiki, but where are the celebrities?

Celebrity's gonna go right here.

Mama, just imagine yourself wearing this garment

with O. J. Simpson on your chest.

Now I could live with that.

I knew you could.

And that's just the beginning.

Because I'm gonna get all the celebrities

I'm gonna get Muhammad Ali, Reggie Jackson,

Natalie Cole, Gladys Knight.

Mom, don't you get it?

It's like those Fonzie t-shirts you see everywhere.

Except I'm gonna use dashikis.

Oh, sort of like a t-shirt with soul, huh?

Right. Yes, positive images for brothers to relate to, you know.

Well, what do you think, Mom? Do you think it's a good idea?

No.

Oh, come on.

The truth is, honey, I think it's a great idea.

I think you finally came up with a winner.

Well, you know, don't over excite yourself.

Mom, I'm talking about putting you in a Rolls Royce,

yet your face is saying '53 Studebaker.

I don't know, Tony, but I had a crazy idea, too.

I was gonna ask you to come in business with me.

The catering business?

Mama, no offense, but tuna salad,

hold the mail, that's not my thing.

Hey, I wanna be rich, Mom.

I'm talking about champagne and caviar all the way.

You don't even like caviar.

I'm not gonna eat it.

I'm gonna keep it in my wallet.

All right, Mr. Millions.

I can hardly wait.

But in the meantime, I got to go peddle my sandwiches

and you change this baby's diapie.

Okay, Hey, Mom, It's kind of early for lunch, though, isn't it?

Yeah, but today my specialty is homemade green pea soup.

I gotta go open these cans.

- See you, baby. Oh, listen. - All right.

Wait a minute. I got an idea.

Hold that right there.

Tell you what you do.

You call Pearl and tell her that you and that baby got here safely.

Sure, Mama. Maybe later.

No. Maybe. No.

Maybe she's probably worried crazy about you and that baby.

Okay. Okay.

And honey, be sure to say hello for me.

Oh, you got it, Mom. You got it.

- See ya. - All right.

Pearl, Mama says hello,

wherever you are.

Two thou... $2,000?

Do you think I'm stupid enough to lend $2,000

to somebody I just met a couple of hours ago?

- Oh, boy. - Hey, man, Mr. Brown.

I'm trying to let you in on a chance to make a million dollars, man.

I wouldn't just do that for anybody.

Well, pretend I'm just anybody and don't do it for me.

Listen, Ed.

Can I call you Ed?

Only on the phone. Long distance.

Mr. Brown, now, you strike me as a very, very, very shrewd businessman.

Yeah. And you strike me as being out of your mind.

Celebrity Dashiki.

Hey.

Hey, how many black celebrities are there?

I mean, there are hundreds of them. Thousands.

Man, there's old Jay, Kareem, Pearly Mae, Stevie.

Don't any of you people have last names?

Whoo! Come on, Mr. Brown.

No, you come on.

How many of these celebrities you got signed up?

You mean, in numbers?

Yeah. Numbers, the numbers.

They're like, round numbers.

Like zero? You don't have any, do you, big shot, huh?

Well, right, right. You know, that's why I need the $2,000,

so I can go meet 'em and sign 'em up.

I'll tell you what,

when you get all these people signed up, come back,

and then we'll have a nice little talk.

So long.

Man, If I get 'em signed up, why do I have to come back?

You got a point.

Don't come back.

Tell your mother I wouldn't give you the $2,000 either.

I didn't ask my mother for money.

- You're the first one I came to. - Oh, I'm touched.

I'll tell you what.

Why don't you go home

and ask your mother for $25,000?

- $25,000? - Yeah.

- She'll faint. - Right.

And while she's laying there, grab her purse.

You've got some nerve.

How could you go to my friends for money?

Hey, Mama, believe me, I asked myself

the same question as he threw me out of the garage.

I never heard a white man use that kind of language.

Well, I don't blame him.

Celebrity Dashikis with no celebrities.

Mom, it's just temporary.

All I need is $2,000 and a little encouragement.

What you need, Tony, is a job.

You've got a wife and a child to support.

It's time you stopped dreaming about pie in the sky

and put a little fish in the dish.

Wait a minute, honey.

Now, listen. That offer to come into business with me

still stands.

Mama, I got my plans,

I got my dreams, and they are important to me.

I mean, can't you understand that?

Oh, honey, I understand.

Believe me, I understand.

And I wouldn't try to push you into anything.

I'll tell you what.

Why don't we just wait until Pearl gets here

and see what she has to say?

[sighs]

Mama, Pearl already had her say.

- Huh? - She said goodbye. She split.

She split? You mean to tell me,

- that woman just walked off and left that little baby-- - Mama, don't be excited.

I mean, it was all friendly.

No argument. She got the stereo. I got the baby.

Poor Tony. Poor baby.

Don't cry. It was a cheap stereo.

Uh, Tony.

With Pearl who knows where

listening to records,

and with you out hustling celebrities,

who is gonna take care of that baby back there?

You don't have to worry, Mama. Michael's going to be in great hands.

Any hands in particular?

Yours.

Oh, no, you don't, baby. Oh, no way, honey.

No, no. No, no. No, no.

[mouthing]

No.

Good, then this will be a first.

You are not leaving that baby here with me.

You know, Mama. That blows my mind.

God, holly, you know, those are the exact words

Pearl used before she left me.

Well, where is she now?

I don't know. Wherever the winds in that trombone player took her.

Is that the kind of woman you'd marry?

Someone who'd run off and leave a husband and a baby

for a trombone player?

Mama, that cat could blow.

But that's all water under the bridge anyway, Mama,

because I'll be shooting nothing but sevens from now,

my celebrity dashikis are gonna put us on Easy Street.

Not until you sign up the celebrities.

And as far as I'm concerned, that may be never

because you are not leaving this baby here with me.

Mama, I have to.

I'm gonna be traveling all over the country

trying to meet up with these agents.

It's just gonna be a couple of months.

There's no guarantee of that.

A couple of months become a year,

a year become two years,

two years could become a lifetime.

Mama, I love Michael.

I would never leave him.

Tony, I raised one child alone,

and I just do not care to do that again.

But, Mama, I cannot travel with a baby.

Then why don't you do like I'm telling you

and come into business with me?

I could really use somebody like you.

Mama. Everybody could use somebody like me.

But the trouble is, see, your dreams are smaller than mine.

So please stop trying to talk me into it

because I don't like saying no to you.

No. What you like saying is, "Mama, keep the cute baby.

"Keep it for a year or two or forever,

"because I have got to talk Wilt the Stilt into dribbling on my dashiki."

Well, Wilt the Stilt will just have to wait, mister,

because that is your baby,

and that is your responsibility.

And you are not leaving that baby here.

No way, no how and that is final.

You know what, Mama, You're really cute when you're angry.

That is not funny.

Come on, Uncle Ed.

I haven't got all day.

Snap it up.

Don't tell me what to do.

I only take orders from paying customers.

You're right, Uncle Ed.

I'm sorry.

Good.

Here's a penny. Snap it up.

Hi, baby.

Hi.

Hi, Ed.

Hey. I like your son Tony.

That's good, sugar. He likes you too.

He's been gone a long time.

It's lucky for him I'm here.

I'm gonna teach him a few things.

The only thing you can teach him

is how to speak English with an accent.

Here. Here's your skateboard.

Go see America.

All right. What can I do for you, Della?

Well, Ed, I'm here because I don't know which way to turn.

Oh, he finally asked you for the $2,000, huh?

That was only the first course.

For dessert, I got, "Mama, I'm leaving the baby with you."

You're kidding. How hard did you belt him?

Ed, I really don't know what I should do.

You want my advice?

Throw him out.

And don't give him the $2,000.

Who does he think he is,

walking in and out of your life?

Always taking, never giving.

He's a bum. Get rid of him.

- That's your advice. - Right.

How dare you call my son a bum?

You asked me for free advice.

- I gave it to you. - Well, I sure got what I paid for.

Well, what do you want me to tell you?

"Give him the money and hope for the best"?

All right. If it'll make you happy, give him the $2,000.

Well, maybe I will.

And while you're at it, take the baby.

Oh, that, too, huh?

Yeah, sure.

Could do wonders for you.

Look what Chico did for me.

Since he came into my life, I'm a new man.

- Uncle Ed? - Yeah.

Can I have a quarter?

Get out of here, you little moocher.

Out! Out! Get out of here!

Go on! Beat it!

A new man, huh?

- Well... - You're the same old grouch.

Yeah, but now I'm enjoying it more.

Why don't you go home and tell Tony to leave the baby?

Is that your honest opinion?

No.

It's not my honest opinion.

That's your honest opinion.

- Mine? - Yeah, that's what you would tell me

if I was in your shoes.

So take my advice.

Take your advice.

All right, Ed.

- I'll do it. - Okay.

And I thank you too.

[Ed grunts] All right.

That's the last time I give you any advice.

Oh, Della, on your way out,

if you run into Chico, here, give him this quarter.

I sure will.

[sighs]

Come on, kid.

We're hitting the road again.

Just you and me.

But you're gonna have fun this time, because you're gonna love

the Empire State Building, buddy.

And strolling through Central Park with Daddy.

[baby crying]

Okay, Okay.

- We'll skip Central Park, then. - Tony?

Tony, what are those bags doing sitting there?

They're going on a trip, Mama, because we're leaving.

Where are you going? You haven't got a dime.

I don't need a dime as long as I've got my brain.

- I'll make out. I'll think of something. - Like what?

Hey, I've been thinking.

Check this out. Combination Soul Food restaurant and cobbler shop.

I'm gonna call it Roots and Boots.

Roots and Boots, huh?

Tony, I'm just about to do the world a great favor.

I'm gonna let you have the $2,000.

Hey, thanks, Mom.

Hey, but it's not going to do any good if I can't leave Michael.

I'm gonna do that too.

You can leave the baby here.

I can? Oh, Mom, you are unreal.

You're wonderful.

- Yeah. - What I am is crazy.

But I'm gonna tell you now,

if you go away from here, Tony, and leave this baby...

Hey, Mom, you're always talking about me not coming back.

I mean, whatever else I may be, I'm still your son, right?

What? What makes you think I'd cut out?

Because damn it, your daddy did it to you.

What?

You heard me.

But you always told me that when I was a baby,

he was killed in Korea.

I also told you there was an Easter Bunny.

But the truth is, sunshine,

your daddy walked out on you and me.

He just walked out?

He ain't here, is he?

Except for this picture right here.

Yeah, and I guess é\this is for my benefit, too.

Well, pop just pops out every time I come home.

- Right? - Right.

And that's the reason, I think, maybe it could happen again.

- You can never tell, Tony. - Mama.

You never can tell, Tony.

Well, Mama, you want to know for sure?

I sure do.

Well, don't just stand there and help me unpack these bags.

Are you telling me that you're gonna stay?

Hey, Mom, you're just trying to get rid of the kid.

Oh, Tony.

Welcome home, son.

Hey, that's not son.

That's partner.

Oh, right. Right.

Welcome home, partner.

Hi, honey. Did you get it all down?

Yep, Mama, check these figures out.

We sold 150 sandwiches today.

That's a lot of bread.

Hey, Mama, that's more sandwiches than this business has ever sold.

And you want to know why?

And if I said I wouldn't...

- I would tell you anyway. It's because of me. - I thought you'd do this.

Because of my executive ability, my industrial strength,

my charisma with the customers.

Could we get to the point, Tony?

We're going into overtime here.

Mama, I deserve a title.

Something like chairman of the board.

You already have a title.

Assistant to the mother.

[announcer] Chico And The Man is recorded live before a studio audience

at NBC Studios, Burbank, California.

[closing theme song playing]

♪ Chico was born in El Barrio ♪

♪ Spent much of his time In the street ♪

♪ His mind was craving For knowledge ♪

♪ His belly for something to eat ♪

♪ But times are hard ♪

♪ For Chico and The Man♪

♪ Times are hard ♪

♪ For Chico and The Man ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, baby ♪

♪ All right ♪