Original subtitles

[opening theme song playing]

♪ Chico, don't be discouraged ♪

♪ The Man he ain't so hard to understand ♪

♪ Chico, if you try now ♪

♪ I know that you can lend a helping hand ♪

♪ Because there's good in everyone ♪

♪ And a new day has begun ♪

♪ You can see the morning sun if you try ♪

♪ And I know Things will be better ♪

♪ Oh, yes, they will for Chico and the Man ♪

♪ Yes, they will for Chico and the Man ♪

[audience applauding]

[music playing on radio]

No matter how much everybody hates Monday,

it still shows up at the beginning of the week.

Does that thing have to be so loud?

I can't hear you, Uncle Ed.

The radio's too loud.

Boy, I needed that.

Where does he learn things like that?

- Here. - What?

Try some.

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. [spits]

How did you like it?

It tastes like something that came out of a cow.

Hello everyone!

- Eduardo. [kisses] Oh, my God. How are you? - Yeah. Yeah.

Are you leaving for your concert tour?

Oh, no, no, I just cancel it.

You cancelled it? First it's on, then it's off,

Then it's off then it's on. Why are you so confused?

- Me? Confused? - Yeah.

You are the one who doesn't know

if I'm coming or going.

It's very simple.

I have a week off and I desire to spend it

with my favorite nephew, Raulito.

- [kisses] - You look good.

Hey, where should I put my things?

On the first boat back to Spain.

Hey, hey, wait a minute. You can't stay here.

There's no place for you to sleep.

Oh, I can always sleep on the floor.

Oh, no, you can't.

- Why not? - Because if you roll over,

you're liable to put a couple of dents in the floor.

- Then I sleep in the bed... - Yeah.

...and you sleep in the floor.

No, you're not sleeping anywhere.

There's no room for you.

No vacancy. Catch on.

Come on, Uncle Ed. Can't she stay?

Stay? What am I running here?

A Sleep-in Taco Bell?

Please.

I don't want you to fight all the time.

Oh, all right, all right, all right.

I'll guarantee I won't fight with her.

She can stay because I'm leaving.

Whoopie! [chuckles]

I'm going fishing for a couple of days.

Oh, boy. I bet you will catch a lot of fish.

Well, how do you know?

Because there will be a worm on both ends of the pole.

[laughs]

Hey, hey, wait a minute.

Where are you going with those bottles?

I'm helping you pack.

[kisses]

[Charo] Hey!

Hey. You got it. You got it.

- What is it, Aunt Charo? - Wait until you see it.

- This is beautiful. - Let's sit it up here, Louie.

- All right. - [scats]

Voila.

Monsieur Brown Car Boutique.

Isn't that terrific?

I can just hardly wait to see Ed's expression.

Yeah, I hope it's better than the one he went away with.

What are you doing?

I am trying to get that smell of gasoline out of here.

[laughs]

The only way Ed Brown ever got any fresh air in here

was to let the air out of the tires.

- Okay, Louie, there he comes. - Here he comes.

See, I told you he's going to like it.

Like it? I hate it.

I hate it! I hate it.

Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.

Hey, you, get that filthy hat out of my clean floor.

All of the cucaracha are going to get dandruff.

Why don't you take your cucarachas

and go back to Spain?

How do you like that?

I go away for a few days and come back here,

can't find any tools, my tires.

Why, it doesn't even smell like a garage.

[sniffing]

- What is that? - That's a very expensive perfume.

I thought for sure you would like it.

It's 12% alcohol.

Yeah, Ed with a few more bucks, you can get the other 88%.

It is called Midnight in Madrid.

It smells more like an afternoon at the Stockyards.

- Mr. Brown. - Yeah.

- I had it out to here with you. - You have?

I mean, I make this place beautiful.

Before, it looked like the shop hit the fan.

Aunt Charo says all this is going to

- improve your business. - Improve my business?

There won't be any business with all this stuff in it,

and nobody's going to come in...

What is that?

- This is a crystal chandelier. - Yeah?

Now people can come in here and listen to you tinkle.

- And what is this? - Oh, my goodness.

This is a portrait of a woman.

Doesn't look that different.

Different from what?

All you women look like that before you put your makeup on,

Listen to who is talking.

I am gonna tell you in English what I think of you in Spanish.

Hold it, hold it, hold it. Louie, we better get Raul out of here.

Come on. This is not for your ears.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Hold everything there.

Why are you doing this to me?

I am not doing it to you.

I'm doing it for Raulito.

I am going to build your business

up from the ground down.

I don't want to worry any more about Raul future.

You don't have to worry about his future.

This is America, where opportunity knocks every day.

Yeah. But the problem with you is that you didn't listen

to opportunities' knockers.

I happen to know that opportunity only knock it up once.

Yeah?

I am a very smart business woman.

Yeah, but you're not a mechanic.

Huh. There is nothing I cannot do with a car.

Is that so?

I know there's one thing you can't do with a car.

- What? - Slide under it.

Listen, you huggy pack.

I mean, I could run this place

with my front tied behind my back.

I'm gonna show you, okay?

- Okay. - Oh, no. No, no.

Okay.

How did you like my coverall?

What did you say?

How could you like my coverall?

- Those are coveralls? - Uh-huh.

Why don't they cover something?

- Hello. - Uh... Hi.

Uh, pardon me, but I came to pick up my car.

I had it towed here yesterday.

What is your name?

- Yamaguchi. Pat Yamaguchi. - Yamaguchi.

This is not a Spanish name, is it?

No, it's Japanese.

Oh, really?

Listen, I'm very sorry

about the way World War II worked out.

Well, you win some, you lose some, you know?

Listen, um...

[stutters] Don't I know you from someplace?

I don't think so. I never have been there.

[stuttering] No, no, no, no, no. I mean, I know you.

You're... Uh...

Charo, of course.

The flamenco guitarist, artist person.

I knew... I'd recognize you anywhere.

Well, a lot of people recognize me.

This is probably because I look so much like me.

Yeah.

Listen, Charo, I happen to own a nightclub here in town,

and I would love to have you appear there.

- You want me? - Yeah.

- To work there? - Mm-hmm.

Me? Charo... [kisses]

A serious classical artist who had appeared

in concert hall around the world?

- Yeah. - You expect me to go work

in some cheap donkey honk?

Mr. Manggachuchi.

- Hey, Yamaguchi. - That's what I said.

You are cuckoo. [speaks Spanish]

Forget it, Forget it.

Lucky thing for you that I take care of your car.

I fix it.

You fixed... What do you mean you fixed it?

Sure. What do you think, it got well by itself?

I'll tell you what I do. I took all of the part,

I put it in, I take it out.

It's like a [speaks Spanish]

[speaks Spanish]

Why don't you tell that to him?

Okay. [speaks Japanese]

- [chuckles] - [speaks Japanese]

- [speaks Japanese] - Oh.

- [speaks Japanese] - Oh, good. I'm glad you did.

- Gasoline. Gasoline. Gasoline. - Gasoline.

[chuckles] Well, I don't speak Japanese too good, lady,

but, uh, I hope that means you put in premium gasoline.

Oh, no. You shouldn't use premium gasoline in this car.

- No. You should use regular. - Regular.

That way, your car will never suffer from irregularity.

Thank you, lady. Listen, Charo, in case you change your mind

about appearing at the club, this is my card.

And I'll make it worth your while.

- Not a chance. - Yeah. Well, I'll make it worth your while

if you take her out of this garage.

- Oh... - [Yamaguchi chuckles]

- Got it. - Enjoy.

- Bye-bye. - Look at it. Look.

[engine sputtering]

Look.

[car parts clattering]

[car parts clattering]

[yells] My... My car.

Who's gonna pay for this?

Huh? Who's gonna pay for this?

Who's gonna pay for this?

Well, there you are.

When I open in your club?

Would you want me to sing?

Or would you like me to dance?

Oh. Well, you can...

[car parts clattering]

I do both.

Uncle Ed, hi.

Why do you mean "hi"? You realize what time it is?

Where have you been?

I was at the nightclub watching Aunt Charo work.

Boy, can she play that guitar?

[scats]

I really had a good time.

A nightclub is no place for a kid.

You want to wind up a 12-year-old wino on Sesame Street?

But I wasn't drinking.

Then how could you ever have a good time?

You're just mad because I like Aunt Charo.

No, it's not that at all.

There's nothing about it.

What will the neighbors think? You hanging around nightclubs,

rolling in at seven, eight o'clock in the evening,

reeking of Shirley Temples?

I sure wish you'd come with me tomorrow night to see Aunt Charo.

I don't want to see your Aunt Charo,

I don't want to hear about your Aunt Charo,

and I don't want to talk about your Aunt Charo.

And I'm not going with you to see her tomorrow night.

Got it?

Okay.

How about Saturday night?

Will you get upstairs?

For heaven's sakes, go to sleep.

What's the matter with you?

Oh, boy.

If he thinks Charo is so great,

he should have seen me in my vaudeville days.

I was really something.

Where is that old trunk of mine?

Ah.

[metal thuds]

There we are,

Let's see now.

I'd say...

Holy maka-moly.

Ed, I've seen you come home in bad shape,

but never like this.

Do me a favor, Louie, stop bothering me.

I'm not in the mood for fooling around.

Well, what's going on? What's all that stuff?

Oh, just some mementos from my old vaudeville days.

Like, for instance,

here is a horse's head from an act we used to do.

We did a dance, my partner and I.

We did a dancing horse act.

Oh, you were a horse's act?

Let's forget the whole thing.

No, no. What's that old hat?

- What is that thing there? - Oh, this hat?

- Yeah. - This is a magic hat.

I used to pull rabbits and pigeons out of it,

and all other kinds of animals, too.

[sniffs] Yes. I can believe that got a smell like a zoo.

[Ed] What else have we got here?

Oh. Here, here. Just look at this.

This is a cane, Louie.

- A cane? - Yes, indeed.

Well, you'd have to bend an awful lot to use that, didn't you?

No. I'll show you how it works.

Watch this.

- How about that? - Ain't that something.

- Yeah. - How about that?

And here is my old straw hat.

- Old straw hat. Yeah. - Yeah. How about that?

Yeah. Bet it brings back a lot of memories, huh?

- It sure does. - You know something,

why don't you show

Raul some of the stuff you got in the trunk?

I bet it would really impress him.

You really think so?

Well, I'm impressed.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Yeah, those were the days.

[drum roll]

[all applauding]

Are you sure, Uncle Ed's not coming?

Oh... I don't think Uncle Ed is coming, sugar.

Don't be too sure.

Might be in for a big surprise.

- What? - That's right.

Ladies and gentlemen, Charo.

- [drum roll] - [all applauding]

[playing guitar]

Hey!

[all applauding]

Thank you. Thank you, thank you.

Oh my goodness, thank you.

Now, I have a surprise for all of you.

Tonight I want to introduce you to somebody that is in the audience.

Very special to me, has been here

every night of the week in this club.

He's my own flesh, my own blood.

He's my relative, he's my nephew.

Can you welcome, very well, my nephew, Raul Garcia.

- [all applauding] - [drum roll]

[speaks Spanish]

One, two, three.

[playing xylophone]

Hey-hey!

Whoopie!

Hey-hey!

Whoopie!

[cheering in Spanish]

Take it away.

[cheering in Spanish]

Hey.

[cheering in Spanish]

[laughing]

Hey!

Hey-hey. Hey-hey.

[cheering in Spanish]

Hey-hey,

Hey!

Hey!

[all applauding]

[speaks Spanish]

- Beautiful. - Beautiful, thank you, Charo.

- Thank you, Raul. - Terrific.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

Pat's place has got a big special treat for you.

Here, direct from 30 years of retirement is Mr. Ed "Twinkle toes" Brown.

[all cheering]

- Uncle Ed. - How you doing, my boy?

What are you doing here?

I just wanted to prove to you that I can do anything she can.

And I'm much cuter.

Okay, boys. Hit it.

[instrumental music playing]

[all applauding]

[tapping shoes]

- [man 1] Oh boy. - [man 2] Beautiful.

[audience cheering]

[indistinct conversation]

♪ With nothing But a fine tooth comb♪

♪ I know I'm to blame Now, ain't it a shame ♪

♪ Baby won't you Please come home♪

♪ I need rent money♪

♪ So baby won't you Please come home ♪

[all applauding]

How about that?

That was great, Uncle Ed.

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.

I hope someday I can play as good as you.

Oh...

Of course, you will be a great musician someday.

Because you will get your musical inspiration

- from your Spanish background. - Mm-hmm.

- You're not Spanish? - No.

Where do you get your musical inspiration?

Oh, I get mine direct from the piano.

Here's how.

[audience applauding]

[Jack Albertson] Chico and the Man

is recorded live before a studio audience at NBC Studios,

Burbank, California.

♪ Chico was born in El Barrio ♪

♪ Spent much of his time in the street ♪

♪ His mind was craving for knowledge ♪

♪ His belly for something to eat ♪

♪ But times are hard ♪

♪ For Chico and the Man ♪

♪ Times are hard ♪

♪ For Chico and the Man ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ All right ♪