Original subtitles

[man] One, two... a-one, two, three, and...

[opening theme song playing]

♪ Chico, don't be discouraged ♪

♪ The Man he ain't So hard to understand ♪

♪ Chico, if you try now♪

♪ I know that you can lend A helping hand ♪

♪ Because there's good In everyone ♪

♪ And a new day has begun ♪

♪ You can see the morning sun If you try ♪

♪ And I know, Things will be better♪

♪ Oh, yes, they will For Chico and the Man ♪

♪ Yes, they will For Chico and the Man ♪

[rock music playing on radio]

Oh, no.

[music stops]

Hey, Uncle Ed. What's up?

I'll tell you what's not up, you little monster, the hood of this car.

What did I do?

You dropped the hood. I'll never be able to get it up again.

I'm sorry. I'll do it.

You'll do it. Look who's gonna lift that--

Anything else I can do?

Yes, there's one very important thing you can do for me.

- What? - Stay out of my way. Now, get out of here.

But I wanna learn to be a mechanic when I grow up.

What do I get by staying out of your way?

You get a chance to grow up.

[rock music playing on radio]

But there must be something I can do.

Look, kid, you know the old adage,

"Children should be seen and not heard?"

- Who said that? - A blind man with very good hearing.

I'll tell you what.

Here, here's a quarter.

Go down at the corner and get me a dollar-cigar.

How can I buy a dollar-cigar with a quarter?

I didn't say it was gonna be easy.

Now, come on, get. And take this thing with you.

Hello? Hello?

Hello?

Is anybody around here? Anybody around here?

Oh. Oh, well, well, well.

- Oh, hi. - What can I do for you?

Well, I am looking for Ed Brown's Garage.

I'm sure you didn't come here for a body shop.

- Let me introduce you to me. - Okay.

Okay. I am Charo, the flamenco guitarist.

But you have been seeing me?

No, uh, this is the first two times.

Of course. Of course. I should get before.

You are not a type for serious music.

I bet you like much, much more the...

Cuchi, cuchi, cuchi!

Well, I must say, I've seen many a car get up and go,

but this is the first time I ever saw one stand up and applaud.

But let me tell you, the reason why I am here. It's very important.

I am looking for Raul Garcia.

- Raul Garcia. - Yes.

Yes. Well, he happens to be a very small fella.

He could be standing under that car.

- Why don't you take a look? - Thank you.

I'm looking. I'm looking.

So am I. So am I.

He's not there.

No, he's not? Oh, my mistake.

What do you want with Raul? Wouldn't an older man do?

Look, it's very important.

I must found Raul Garcia because, you know,

I came all the way from Spain to find him.

Really? Why do you want to find him?

- It's very important. You see, I am his aunt. - His aunt?

- [Charo] Uh-huh. - Oh, no, that couldn't be.

He doesn't have any relatives. He comes from Mexico.

But that's him. Yes.

- You see, he is my sister's child. - Uh-huh.

- He was born in a small village of El Rosario in Mexico. - Uh-huh.

I check it out with the welfare office, and that's how I found you.

Oh, that's very nice. Well, I'm sure he'll be delighted to see you.

How long are you going to be here?

Not too long, just long enough to pack his luggage.

and take him back with me to Spain.

- Spain? - Yes.

Chess?

Yes, to live with me. You know, this child belong with his relatives.

Do you know where is he?

- Raul? - No, no, no, no. Wait, wait...

- Raulito? - Sorry. Hold everything. You just missed him.

You know he went back to Mexico.

As a matter of fact, he swam back across the border only last night.

- Swam back to Mexico? - That's right.

Are you trying to pull your woollies over my eyes?

Nobody has ever done that before.

That's what I'm trying to tell you.

See, he wanted to get his name in the Guinness Book of Records.

Mister, do you think I was born tomorrow?

[Ed] Aw.

- You don't believe me, huh? - Nope.

Well, why don't you try to find him for yourself?

Why don't you go back to Mexico and ask for a Mr. Ramirez?

But wait a minute, which Mr. Ramirez?

There might be over 30,000 of Mr. Ramirez in Mexico.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You better get started.

But how will I know him?

Oh, that's easy. He'll be wearing a sombrero, moustache,

and he'll be taking a siesta in the sun.

Let me put it this way.

I am going to go to the village and check it,

but if I don't find him, I promise... [speaking Spanish]

Oh, really? What does that mean?

That mean that I will come back and punch out your lights.

You better not come back here.

If you do, I'll have you arrested for overexposure.

How do you like that, Margaret?

The kid told me he didn't have any relatives.

This gives me an idea. Do me a favor.

If you find his parents up there, check this bimbo out, will ya?

[rock music playing on radio]

[shouts] Will you shut that thing off?

- Here you are, Uncle Ed. - What?

I got you a dollar-cigar for a quarter.

Well, that's very clever. How'd you do that?

Well, I spent the quarter on Scotch tape

and found me four good butts.

That's very good of you, Chico. Thank you very much.

I'll put it in my humidor.

Sit down. I wanna talk to you.

You told me at one time you had no relatives. Is that right?

That's right, Uncle Ed. Just you.

You're my father, mother, sister, brother, all rolled into one.

- Yeah. - Something like that cigar.

Are you absolutely sure you have no relatives?

No uncles, no cousins, no, uh... no aunts?

- I'm sure, Uncle Ed. Nobody at all but you. - Aw. That's wonderful.

Unless you're talking about the ones in Spain.

Hey, hey!

There's some lady out there asking for Raul,

- and some fool told her that he went back to Mexico. - [Ed shushes]

Ain't that crazy?

Hey, lady, come on in here!

- Yes? - That's Raul sitting right over there.

Thank you very much.

Raul, Raulito! Dios mio.

[Raul, muffled yelps]

- [Charo kisses] - Hey, hey.

She's smothering that kid with kisses. [laughs]

You're all wrong, Louie. It's not the kisses that are smothering him.

Tell her off, Uncle Ed. Who is she?

Well, she claims to be your Aunt Charo from Spain.

That's correct.

You are my nephew, Raul. I am your mama's sister.

You understand? You are my nephew.

Wow. A real life relative.

- [Charo] Yes. - My own flesh and blood?

I don't know about the blood, but she got enough flesh there for two relatives.

[laughs, exclaims]

Tell me more about Spain.

Oh, Spain is a very romantic country.

For instance, there is Barcelona.

That is where your mama, for the first time, met your papa.

He was a sailor, and when his ship pulled in, she fell head over heels.

- In love? - No, in the water.

You see, she was standing on the dock when the ship hit it.

And then what happened?

Then your papa jumped after her.

Hey, that reminds me about the first time I met Margaret. You're gonna love this, Chico--

Please, Uncle Ed, later. I'm learning about my family.

Listen, I don't want you to pay any attention to anything she says.

- Why not? - You can't trust her.

You must be wrong. Aunt Charo's the nicest person I know.

She's even giving me music lessons.

[plays guitar]

Hey.

[plays marimba]

[Charo whoops]

[all cheering]

Did you love it?

You know something?

If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn't believe it.

Well, listen, kid, you can do more with a bottle than your Uncle Ed.

We never knew you had such musical talent, sugar.

He comes from a very musical family.

In my house alone, we have 27 musical instruments.

Yeah. Where do you live? In a pawn shop?

Well, let me put it this way.

At least I don't have a gasoline pump in the living room.

You got it?

- I got it. - [Charo laughs whimsically]

Hey, Uncle Ed, that's my B flat.

Yes. How did you expect Raulito to became a great musician

when you are keep on drinking his marimba?

Who's going to be drinking?

I'm just looking for a couple of corks to stick in my ears.

Oh, come on, Ed. You ought to be encouraging the kid

to his new musical career.

- Oh, he does, Louie. - Yeah?

- Where do you think Raul gets all the empty bottles from? - [laughs]

You see? I see very clear now is no doubt about it.

- You have been neglecting this kid. - Neglecting?

- [Charo] Neglecting. - Neglecting?

I let a Mexican kid ride 200 miles in the trunk of my car.

I gave him a good job sweeping up my garage, and this is the thanks I get.

But can you see? He had a great musical talent,

and I would like to get him under my tutelage.

You could get the Boston Symphony Orchestra under your tutelage.

- [Charo] Do you know what you are? - What?

You are a cheap... [speaking Spanish]

Have a mind. Don't you dare use that language.

- What do you think this is? A garage? - [Charo groans softly]

Would you please excuse me?

Raulito, I'm gonna take you to have dinner

in a very traditional Spanish restaurant,

and I'm gonna show you how we eat back in home.

Very good. And, Chico, why don't you show her how to use a knife and fork?

[speaking Spanish]

Same to you.

I'm telling you, Ed, if I was you, I wouldn't be fighting with the Spanish lady.

[Ed] Oh? Why not?

Well, because the first thing, she'd win.

And the judge would probably award her your ears and your tail.

And I'd shout ole to to that.

Yeah. Well, you'd lose your temper, too, if somebody came along suddenly

and tried to take your kid away from you.

Oh, you're just worried about who's gonna take care of you in your old age.

That's right. I should be wondering.

If they take the kid away, who is going to take care of me in my old age?

Well, why don't you wait and see?

- Should be here any day now. - [laughs]

Listen, Ed, Raul is just about to find out about his cultural heritage.

You know, it's very important that he should know who he is.

I've come home many a nights not knowing who I was. Never hurt me.

Now, this is not a laughing matter.

We should be trying to do something to make him feel more at home.

That's not a bad idea.

As a matter of fact, it's a pretty good idea. Come here, Della.

You, too, Louie.

I want to tell you something. I think...

- Get out of here! - [chicken squawks]

And stay out!

[bells jingling]

How did they ever sneak up on the Alamo with these things on?

Oh.

Come on, everybody, get out of here. Out, out, out!

Scram. Hit the road.

And take your kid with you.

[chicken squawks]

[vocalizing tune]

Well... How do we look, Ed? How do we look?

Oh, pretty snappy.

Say, where did you get the Mexican Volkswagen?

Oh, finding him was easy.

The tough part was getting the driver to let him on the bus.

Well, I'm sure Chico's gonna go crazy with all this around here.

Oh, I sure hope you're right, Ed.

Because, uh, you know what?

I risked my life walking through Watts dressed up like this.

Hey, look who's coming. Here they are.

[vocalizing tune]

[Ed, Della and Louie] Ole .

Oy vey.

- Uncle Ed? - [Ed] Yeah?

He's beautiful. Can I have him?

Who? Louie or the burro?

- The burro. - Oh, I don't know. Where would we keep him?

Hey, I am sure around here you find the place for another jackass.

Well, you see, Raul, we fixed this, decorated this place up for you.

'Cause we're gonna have a big fiesta today.

Yes, sir. We got enchiladas and tortillas and frijoles

and some Mexican Pepto Bismol.

Mexican Pepto Bismol?

- [Ed] That's right. - What's that?

Well, you just, uh, rub a little salt around the top of the glass.

What about the burro? They don't eat that kind of stuff.

Well, we'll send out for Chinese.

Boy, this is gonna be fun.

Hey, hey, hey. Wait a minute. Hold it.

Raulito, aren't you forgetting something?

Oh, that's right.

This is the day I promised Aunt Charo to go to Disneyland with her.

What? You mean you're gonna take him away

after all the trouble we went to to fix this place up?

However, we'll leave it up to Raulito, because in order to be fair,

I will lean over backwards.

It takes her two weeks to straighten up.

I guess I told her, didn't I?

Raulito, what would you rather do today?

Go to Disneyland and see all of the wonderful rides... [imitates rides clacking]

And see all of the beautiful building,

and eat a lot of chocolate, candy, ice cream?

Or would you rather to stay here

in this filthy garage with all of these riff rats?

- I beg your pardon? - Who are you calling riff rats?

Well, would you mind very much if I went, Uncle Ed?

No, if you really want to, go ahead. Go.

- [Charo] Vamonos. - Uncle Ed, can I go, too?

I don't think so. They already got one Goofy down there.

Well, it looks like I lost him. [clicks tongue]

Maybe he would be better off living with his aunt.

Oh, Ed, she's never gonna talk him into going with her to Spain.

Well, maybe I can think of some way to talk him into it.

[yelps]

- Boy, Uncle Ed, did we have a great time. - Yeah?

Did you ever ride the Matterhorn?

No, I never rode it, but I think I just sat on it.

What's your suitcase doing there? Are we going away?

Yeah, we're going away, but not together.

What do you mean?

Well, I think you'd be better off living with your Aunt in Spain.

I don't want to live with her. I want to live with you.

Don't argue with me. I can't be saddled with a kid.

I got places to go and things to do.

Well, I see the fiesta is going strong.

Aunt Charo, Uncle Ed's going away.

Yeah, I thought it all over,

and I've decided he'd be better off living with you.

[Charo] Where are you going?

Uncle Ed says he's got places to do and things to go.

You see, he's even beginning to talk like you.

And you will be very happy with me in Spain.

I don't want to go.

But you can't stay here. I'll be traveling all over the world.

I may be gone for years.

It's okay.

You may get tired of traveling and someday want to come home.

So, I'll just stay here and wait for you.

You must come with me. You cannot be here alone.

What's the difference?

No matter where I go without Uncle Ed, I'll always be alone.

What kind of a man are you? I mean, you are leaving this child

after he told you how much he loved you.

What are you talking about? This is all your idea.

You're the one who wanted to take him back.

Oh, yes, put the blame on me. Blame, Blame. Blame.

You are not only a heartless monster, you are a cobarde, a coward.

And you are going to nowhere because you're going to stay right here

and take care of this child. You got it?

All right. All right. Stop screaming.

Well, it looks like I'm stuck with you all over again.

- I'll unpack your bag. - Okay?

It's empty!

Hey! Hey, you.

You really have no intention of going away.

You're absolutely right. I'm not only a monster and a coward,

but I'm a pretty big liar.

[Raul] Uncle Ed?

- Uncle Ed? - Yeah. What is it?

- [stomping] - [jingling]

How do you walk with these things on?

Oh, that takes a lot of practice.

Maybe we ought to get you a couple of training wheels.

- Hello, everybody. - [Raul] Aunt Charo.

- [Charo] Hey, Raulito. [kisses] - [Raul] How are you?

Edwardo. [kisses]

- Well, I got good news. - [Ed] What's that?

I came to tell you that I'm getting ready

to go on my concert tour around United States.

Well, that's wonderful. Where will you be going?

Almost everywhere. Oklahoma, Omaha,

Indianapolis, Machachuchi and Missipipi.

You know, what? I think we ought to get some training wheels for her mouth.

Are we ever gonna see you again?

Sure. You will see me again. [kisses]

Take good care of you and you, too. [kisses] Okay.

- [Raul] Bye. - Bye. Bye.

- Hey, if you ever change your mind-- - [Ed] Uh-uh-uh.

No, no, no. He's never going to Spain.

No, but he always wanted to see Machachuchi and Missipipi.

[Jack Albertson] Chico and the Man was recorded live

before a studio audience at NBC Studios, Burbank, California.

[closing theme song playing]

♪ Chico was born in El Barrio ♪

♪ Spent much of his time In the street ♪

♪ His mind was craving For knowledge ♪

♪ His belly For something to eat ♪

♪ But times are hard ♪

♪ For Chico and the Man♪

♪ Times are hard ♪

♪ For Chico and the Man♪

♪ Hey♪