Original subtitles

[theme song]

♪ Chico don't be discouraged ♪

♪ The Man he ain't so hard to understand ♪

♪ Chico if you try now ♪

♪ I know that you can lend a helping hand ♪

♪ Because there's good in every one ♪

♪ And a new day has begun ♪

♪ You can see the morning sun if you try ♪

♪ And I know things will be better ♪

♪ Oh yes they will for Chico and The Man ♪

♪ Yes they will for Chico and The Man ♪♪

[rooster cawing]

Good morning.

Ed, Ed, is that you?

Ed, is that you?

Della.

[mumbling]

Hiya, Della.

Now, say, good morning to Della.

She brought us some coffee and donuts.

Ed, I don't want to shake you up too bad

but you are talking to a chicken.

Chicken? Did you hear what she called you?

This is not a chicken.

What is it? She had a parakeet sit on your air hose?

This is a rooster.

Ain't he beautiful? And he's all mine.

Why would you buy an rooster?

You too cheap to buy an alarm clock?

I didn't buy it, I won him in a poker game last night.

Ohh! Well, that serves him right.

Roosters shouldn't play poker.

He wasn't playing poker.

Let me tell you what happened.

I cleaned out this guy in a cowboy hat named Jeb Gibson.

You see he didn't have any cash to pay off, so...

He gave you the bird.

Yes, sir, he sure is beautiful.

He's gonna make a good pet.

Aren't you a little cock-a-doodle doo, huh?

Ed Brown, the bird man of the Barrio.

I wish Chico weren't in Mexico.

He would not believe this.

Oh, huh?

Well, that's why I'm gonna love this little fella.

While Chico is away he's gonna keep me from getting lonely.

Wait a minute. That bird is not in the country illegally, is he?

Certainly not.

He's got papers.

They are all over the bottom of this cage.

Uh ha.

That reminds me I think I better put him in there right now.

I don't want him wandering over to your place.

He's liable to wind up a fricassee.

I wouldn't do that to him, he's too beautiful.

Yeah. He's good company too.

You know, last night, we stopped

at a restaurant to get some chili.

Ah, but he's pretty fussy eater

all he did was pick out the beans.

Did he also pick up the check?

Oh, very funny. No, but he left a tip.

Took the waitress five minutes to clean it up.

What are you doing now?

Here you go, little birdie--

No, no, no, no, don't do that.

He's liable to bend his beak.

Besides, I, uh, I got his breakfast in the office--

- Bourbon? - No. Beer nuts.

I used to feed them to the pigeons

till they moved to a better neighborhood.

Ed, you know I got a great idea.

What's that?

Why don't we put him in show business?

Show business? Are you kidding? He's a pet.

Well, I could teach him to sing.

And they are always looking for

singing roosters on "The Gong Show."

So, why don't you glue some feathers on

the back of your neck and audition?

No, he's gonna stay right here where he belongs. With me.

Well, the two of you should get along great.

A young rooster and an old buzzard.

Why are you giving him so much?

Well, I wanna make sure he gets enough.

He's ignoring that cereal, look at him.

Yeah. And he's chewing up the bottom of the cage there.

You know, maybe he's having an identity crisis.

Maybe, he thinks he's a woodpecker.

In that case, you better not get your head too close to him.

Ah. Look at him, he's eating and he's smiling.

Smiling?

Roosters don't smile.

If they'll love ya, they'll do anything.

Look at that, peck, peck, peck it away.

Peck, peck, peck, that's the idea.

- Peck, peck-- - Hey, Ed, you know what.

That's a good name for him.

What's a good name for him?

Peck. We could call him Gregory Peck.

Howdy doodle do?

Oh! Howdy doodle doo you?

You recollect me? Jeb Gibson.

Well, I sure do, partner. How are you? Good to see you again.

Oh, I want you to introduce you to my landlady.

- Ms. Della Rogers. - Miss?

Yeah, it stands for miserable.

Yeah, he makes all his friends miserable.

How are you, Mr. Gibson?

Well, I see, you still got my bird.

Yep, we call him Gregory Peck.

No, he's name is Daniel Boone.

My kids named him that.

Oh, that's nice. But we call him Gregory Peck.

No, it's Daniel Boone.

It was till 2 o'clock this morning when you lost him.

Mr. Brown, let me tell you a little story.

- Is it sad? - Yes.

A few years back

there was a destitute dirt farmer who lived in New Mexico.

Christmas time come around and that poor man

didn't have no presents to give to his young 'uns.

So, he gave them the only thing he had...

Poverty?

[shushes] Oh, Ed, the man is talking.

And thank you for listening, miss.

He gave them a egg and inside of that egg

was a itty bitty rooster.

- Daniel Boone. - Shhh! The man's talking.

That whole family learned to love Daniel.

Poor as they was, they raised that rooster

the best they could.

Then one day, the father

he broke down with a terrible sickness

hard liquor, fast women and gambling.

Oh, lot of that going around.

And it's mighty catchy too.

Yeah, well, he caught it, oh, he caught it

and he took that beautiful bird

that the family loved so much

and he went to the wicked city where he recklessly

gambled it away.

Yeah, trying to fill an inside straight. I know.

Mr. Brown, how is that man going to explain that terrible loss

to those poor young 'uns?

Even worse, how is he going to explain it to his wife?

That bird was a daughter that she never had.

And she never will.

You are a hard man, Brown.

Yeah.

Oh. Oh, Daniel, I'm gonna miss you.

I hope you'll find it in your heart to forgive me

for the terrible thing I have done.

I know mama and the kids will never let me forget

how I busted up our family.

Oh, Ed, have a heart. Give that man his rooster back.

I will not. I won him fair and square, and he's mine, all mine.

How can you be so selfish? Look at Mr. Gibson there.

I think he's got a tear in his eyes.

So?

Well, look at Gregory, I think that's a lump in his throat.

That's not lump in his throat.

That's a chili bean from last night.

Ed, think about the poor children back on the farm.

Those poor little kids were so poor they never had a, a dog.

They probably trained him to stand on his hind legs

and roll over and play dead.

Who's gonna pick up the paper?

Come on, you don't need this, so, give this man back his--

All right, all right, just get off of my back.

Okay, Gibson, just give me the money you owe me.

You can have your rooster back.

Thank you, Mr. Brown. You are a good man.

Now, let's see.

That was $35, if I recollect. Right?

You recollect wrong. It was $40.

- Oh, well, here you are. - Oh.

It barely leaves me bus fare home.

Where do you live? Australia?

Well, thank you, Brownie.

You've made my family whole again.

Yes. I'm gonna turn him loose in the hen house.

And we'll name the first chick after you.

Ah!

Oh, well, goodbye, Gregory.

I'm certainly going to miss him.

There goes our last chance for fresh eggs.

Yeah... roosters don't lay eggs.

You just told me, if they loved you, they'd do anything.

Oh, well...

Buenos dias!

Get out of here.

Señor...

The answer to buenos dias is not "get out of here."

It is for him.

I need some work done on my motorcycle.

Motorcycle?

That thing looks like it fell off a charm bracelet.

Ed, I need you to put me in a new first gear.

And I think my clutch is busted too.

Salvador, how many times have I told ya

never steal a used motorcycle.

You are getting somebody else's headaches.

I didn't steal this. I got it with trading stamps.

Which is something you never give, you cheap skate.

Cheap skate, huh? Maybe, that's what you need.

A pair of cheap skates will be better than this one.

Hey, I saw that man leave here with that bird.

That's some bird.

Oh, please, Salvador, we've been all through that.

He's the nastiest thing in El Barrio.

No, he isn't. Ed's had that title for years.

Ed's a sissy compared to that killer.

Killer? That's a pet.

Why, he belongs to that fellow's kids.

Sure, he does.

And the Gibson boys raised

the best fighting cocks in the south west.

- Fighting cocks? - Uh-huh.

Wait a minute. How did you know he's name was Gibson?

I saw him win $500 just three nights ago.

Why, Daniel Boone's the Muhammad Ali in the cockpits.

Come on.

Cock fighting went out in the middle ages.

And most of those birds don't live through their middle ages.

I'm afraid he's right, Ed. It's still going on all over.

Yeah, all over Tijuana.

Feathers are flying all over the map.

One bird is good for maybe, two or three fights, that's all.

And you think he's a real fighter?

He's a champ. He's already won four or five.

One more fight and he could end up

in that big bucket in the sky.

Corn and cluck for under a buck.

Wait a minute. Nobody's gonna do that to Gregory.

Wait a minute, Ed. Where are you going?

I'm gonna find that rooster wrestler.

Wait a minute.

Gregory.

I'm on my way. Hang on.

[humming]

- Hi, Della. - Hi, Louie.

Well, I just got to work and I'm here to help Ed find his bird.

Oh, he's still out combing the Barrio.

Well, really won't get there far

because he only knows two words of Spanish.

Guaca and mole.

Louie, guacamole is one word.

How about that?

He's dumber than I thought.

Well, I sure hope he has some luck.

But you know it's not easy trying to find a rooster.

Yeah, Della, I bet he's long gone by now.

Oh, no, you know you can't take that

kind of a bird across the state line.

You can, if it's dipped in shake and bake.

- Oh, hi there, Ed. - Oh, Louie.

- How did it go? - Rotten.

How can a fat man disappear into a thin air?

Yes, too bad the police

don't have a bureau missing roosters.

Oh, Ed, I am so sorry that I talked you into

giving Gregory Peck back to Mr. Gibson.

Is there anything I can do?

Yeah, you can tell me why some people mistreat animals.

Bull fights, dog fights, cock fights, all those fights!

Well, well, wait a minute. Wait just a minute.

What about those violent games you watch on TV

that football, hockey, wrestling and boxing?

And bustling!

Yeah. You know people get hurt and crippled in those games.

But atleast people have a choice, animals don't.

Look, Ed, roosters love to fight.

- Nobody loves to fight. - Well, you do.

- I don't like to figh-- - Oh, Ed, wait a minute!

Are you trying to tell me that

roosters enjoy killing each other?

I don't know if they enjoy it or not but they do it.

Any farm boy would tell ya, Eddie

that if you put two roosters together

they bound to have a fight.

What'd they fight about?

Rooster stuff.

So, now you are defending it, huh?

It's not that I'm defending it, Ed.

I'm just saying that it happens whether you like it or not.

Ohh!

Poor Gregory.

I guess I'm the only friend he's got.

I am the one that named him Gregory Peck. I like him too.

Well, show that you like him.

Go out an find out where that fights gonna be held.

Well, how am I gonna do that?

It's not written in the yellow pages you know.

You are no help. Can't you do something?

All right, all right.

I'll check with some of the other caterers.

See, if anybody's pushing chicken salad.

He's not chicken, he's a rooster.

Oh, cool down, Ed.

Because there ain't no way in the world you are gonna

find out about that fight unless you are in that circle.

Wait a minute.

You hang around that alley. You hear all the gossip.

You find out.

How? Nobody knows.

And if they do, they ain't telling.

Well, somebody knows.

Knows what?

Uh-huh huh, you know. You tell me.

I don't know nothing. I just came to get my motorcycle.

Listen you.

You better tell me where that fight's gonna be held

or you'll never see that motorcycle alive again.

Ed, take it easy, take it easy.

Oh, stop that now.

He knew, he was a fighter.

He knows where the fights gonna be held.

Hey, I don't know nothing.

- I'll make him tell me. - Oh, Ed.

I can't tell you.

Wow! You rooster killer.

I can't betray my friends.

What about my rooster?

He ain't my friend.

Ohh. All right! All right, you two!

If Gregory gets murdered let it be on your conscience.

Right now he's an endangered species.

Oh, come on, Ed

Roosters ain't no endangered species.

In this neighborhood, everybody is an endangered species.

I ain't seen him that mad

since he dropped the grease gun down his pants.

Well...

Hey, Louie, you know I'd tell you if I could.

Oh, I understand, Salvador.

But you see Ed doesn't have that sporting blood in him

like you and me.

- Salvador. - Uh-oh.

My boy.

If a person wanted to make a bet

where would he go?

Well, you got to be there.

But you gotta know somebody who's gonna be there tonight.

- Tonight? - Yeah.

Oh, oh, he knows you.

Hey, that's right. You are lucky.

Oh, in that case, come over here. I wanna talk to you.

I'd like you to do me a favor.

Would you place a bet for me?

Yeah. But that's all I'm gonna do.

Of course. But, where would you place this bet?

You know... Oohh, you are not gonna trick me so easy.

I'm not stupid, you know.

Of course, you are not.

But if you did place this bet

how would you get there? You are gonna walk?

Yeah, it's not far.

Oh, no, that's no good because...

...you are liable to get mugged with all that money.

Or else I'll take a cab.

Oh, that's no good either

because then the cab driver knows where you are going.

Well, then I'll take a bus.

Oh, that's even worse because everybody in the bus

will know where you are going.

Well, then, how should I get there?

I tell you what.

Why don't I take you? Because I don't know where you are going.

Okay.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. That's not a good idea either.

Because if we get together, they'll be suspicious.

We better come from separate directions.

Hey, that's a great idea.

Okay. Where do we meet?

Outside O'Mally's barn. But don't tell no one.

Oh, I wouldn't tell a soul. It's only the two of us will know.

- No, three of us. Louie knows. - No.

How do you find out? Did you tell him?

No, I didn't tell him.

Well, I didn't tell him either.

So, it's only the two of us.

Oh!

- All right. - Okay, see you later.

- So long, Louie. - So long, Salvador.

Clever, clever.

[rooster cawing]

[indistinct chatter]

Okay, okay.

Well, if anyone should ask

I never saw you before.

Now, you listen to me, Salvador

I'm paying you $10 to help me find Gregory. So remember that.

- Okay, stranger. - Okay.

Hey, ref. Do me a favor.

Put this fifty on Conquistador.

You've got a bet.

Okay. What kind of a joint is this?

Looks like the recreational room in devil's island.

You ought to see it Wednesdays, when it's ladies night.

Never mind.

Listen, Louie, I think we better split up.

We'll find Gregory much easier that way.

You take this side and Salvador and I'll go over here.

- Okay. - Hey, hey, just a minute.

What is it now?

What does your rooster look like?

What does my rooster look like?

Let's see. Did you ever see Phyllis Diller in tights?

What?

- Go, look, Louie. Ed. - What?

I don't see Gibson here.

Oh, maybe he sent one of his kids to pick up the bird.

I would like... Oh-oh. Excuse me. Your name Gibson?

No, my name is Chang.

I don't trust this guy.

Tell you what, you keep it busy while I check out his bird.

Ah, Mr. Chang, uh

what do you think of Nixon's visit to your homeland?

He never came to my homeland. I'm from Glendale.

Come on, Ed, Gregory's around here somewhere.

All right, you take that side. Excuse me, gentlemen.

[imitating chicken clucking]

Oh, Gregory is that... No. That's not Gregory.

[indistinct chatter]

Oh, oh, maybe this is Gregory.

Gregory, quack... That's not him either.

Ah. Oh, pardon me, gentlemen.

Quack, quack, that's not Gregory eith...

Hey, give me a sign, fellows. Come on.

Hey, hey, hey.

Now, what do you think you are doing?

I'm just trying to find my rooster.

Well, find another way to look.

You know, the owners don't like people messing with their birds

before a fight.

Hey, Chicken George.

Is he here?

[quacking] Is that you, Gregory?

- Ed, Ed. - What?

I found him. I found him.

Hey, hey, Salvador. Quick, come here.

He found him.

What's the matter with you, Louie?

Gregory is a red rooster. This one is white.

- Oh, maybe, he got scared. - Oh.

- Hey, Ed, look there's Gibson. - Gibson!

Hey, Gibson, come over here.

Jeb, here's your money back. Give me my rooster.

Now, hold on there, partner.

This here is my property.

You said, he was a pet. What's he doing here at the fight?

He likes to watch.

What? Come on, give me my bird.

- No-- - Come on.

Now, listen, friend.

Daniel come here to see a fight.

Is it gonna be between the birds?

Or between you and me?

Oh, if that's the way you feel--

Excuse me, stranger.

Now, look here, partner.

Why don't you all just give my man back his rooster

and we'll mosey on out of here.

If you don't get your hands off of that cage

I'm gonna stomp you in to a mud puddle and walk you dry.

You got that, boy.

Boy? How would you like to go home and tell your mama

you had all your teeth knocked out by a boy.

All right, all right, hold it.

Hold up, hold it.

Oh, it's you again.

Ah, this man won't give me my bird.

What's this all about, Jeb?

I don't know. I never saw this man before in my life.

You lie, boy.

You are a liar and a cheat and a gambler and a thief.

That's what you are.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute, mister.

You come here to make trouble?

No, but if this man doesn't give me my rooster

he's gonna be a dead duck.

Oh, yeah?

Give me my rooster back here.

- Give me that. - Give me that

Hey, stop.

[rooster cawing]

I oughta knew you'd call the cops!

Call the cops? I called the Audubon society.

Come on, Jeb, let's get out of here.

Not without my bird.

You worry about your own...

You scums, you are not fit to dust Gregory's feathers.

That's what you are.

Ed, Ed, if you need me, I'll be running

south on third street.

Third street? East or West.

- Detail, detail. - Ah, get out.

If you need me, I'll be with Louie...

Ah, never mind. That's it. Run, run, you cowards.

You liars, you thieves, you animal ki...

You...

Oh God! Don't worry, Gregory, everything's gonna be fine.

There we are. Don't worry about a thing.

Oh, hey, I'm glad you are here. I almost lost my friend.

Don't worry, you'll be safe with us.

Oh, thank you.

And we got a nice cage for you too.

Cage? What are you talking about?

You are under arrest, Mac.

Arrest? What's the charge?

- Rooster stuff. - Rooster stuff?

What are you talking about?

Look at this poor little pet here.

That's a real chicken. I raised him from an egg.

Come on say hello to daddy.

Oww! You dirty--

That does it. Let's go.

Oh! You didn't even read him his rights.

You have the right to remain silent, Gregory.

You have the right to ask for one phone call.

Oh, there you are, Louie.

Ah, thank you, Della. That's enough.

Hey, Ed, you sure are lucky

to get the cop to drop those charges.

Yeah, Louie, but it took a lot of fast talking.

I told him Gregory reformed

and he promised never to fight again.

And he won't.

Yeah, Gregory's retired now

to a place where he can scratch in the dirt and wake up

to the smell of the barnyard.

Back on the barn, huh?

No, I mean Ed's room.

Hey, Ed! You almost hit my hand, man!

[narrator] "Chico And The Man" was recorded live

before a studio audience at NBC studios, Burbank, California.

♪ Chico was born in El Barrio ♪

♪ Spent much of his time in the street ♪

♪ His mind was crazy for knowledge ♪

♪ His belly for something to eat ♪

♪ Times are hard ♪

♪ Chico and the Man ♪

♪ Times are hard ♪

♪ Chico and the Man ♪

♪ Yeah baby ♪

♪♪ All right ♪♪