Original subtitles

♪ One two ah one two three and... ♪

[theme song]

♪ Chico don't be discouraged ♪

♪ The Man he ain't so hard to understand ♪

♪ Chico if you try now ♪

♪ I know that you can Lend a helping hand ♪

♪ Because there's good in every one ♪

♪ And a new day has begun ♪

♪ You can see the Morning sun if you try ♪

♪ And I know ♪

♪ Things will be better ♪

♪ Oh yes they will for Chico and The Man ♪

♪ Yes they will for Chico and The Man ♪♪

♪ How are your garbage? Nice and deep? ♪♪

[indistinct singing]

Hey, Chico, did you tell Ed you joined the union?

Shh!

Ah, there was little problem, Louie, I couldn't tell him.

- What was the problem? - He was listening.

Hey, look, Chico, you got to

tell him because of organize, union organized.

And Mr. Conaghey's gonna come by, and you got to tell Ed that.

Well, actually, I told him this morning.

I said "Ed, I'm joining the union."

Did he get mad?

Why should he get mad? I got the right to say it.

It's a true statement. Anyway, I told him in Spanish.

Hey, listen, Chico, you are an American.

And you got a right to stand shoulder to shoulder

with your fellow workers.

I just don't want to stand shoulder to shoulder

with them on the unemployment line.

Alright, what's all the whispering about?

Ah, what whispering was that, Ed?

That whispering.

No, that's yelling. This is whispering.

[whispering]

- Ain't that right, Louie? - Say what?

Well, yeah, that's whispering.

Well, what can the secret be?

Couldn't be that I'm bankrupt because everybody knows that.

And it couldn't be my doctor told you that I had six months

to live because my doctor passed away six months ago.

And it couldn't be that you're talking about

surprise birthday party

because my birthday was last month.

And I had a surprise, no party.

Now speak up.

Let's hear somebody, say something

that makes a little sense.

I'll say something that makes sense.

That'll be the day.

Ed Brown, as we say in the garbage profession--

Yes.

Time and trash waits for no man.

Hey, you come back here. I wanna hear you say something.

Um...

[clears throat] Yes, Ed, well, sit down.

Sit down? It's that bad, huh?

No, see, uh... well, it's about the union.

- Union? What union? - Well, there's lot of unions.

There's Western Union, sacred union between a man and a woman

There's the State of the Union--

What union?

The State of the Union, did you hear the

President's proclamation on the

State of the Union yesterday on TV?

No, I didn't hear it.

Oh, it was on the four o'clock news.

There is no four o'clock news.

That's probably why you didn't hear it.

- Oh. - Hey, Chico, did you tell him?

Ah, yeah, I'm getting to the part about the

President's proclamation.

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's the good part.

I like it when the President proclamates.

See, Ed, the state of the Union is very important.

We multiply to 200 million from only 70,000 strong.

They had to be strong to do all that multiplying.

You know what our forefathers were seeking? Foremothers.

That's right.

And now this country has grown

and multiplied, and everybody chipped in.

Tom Paine's wife, Mrs. Tom Paine, she helped.

Every year, the Paine's were coming faster.

The union continued to grow, and to this day

the union's still growing

still increasing and still multiplying.

Chico, are you trying to tell me you got a girl in trouble?

No, Ed, well, this is not that kind of union.

- Let me explain it. - Alright.

- Hey, here comes a customer. - Oh, I'll take care of him.

You sit down. Relax, relax, relax. Sleep.

Morning, Mr. Conaghey.

- Morning, Mr. Rodriguez. - Shh!

Nice day we're having, isn't it?

Yeah, it is. Why are we whispering?

What's all the whispering about?

I told you I wanna hear shouting or nothing at all.

Ah, okay, I'm shouting now, Ed.

This as Mr. Conaghey. Ed Brown.

How you doing, Mr. Brown. Happy to meet you.

Yeah, what can I do for you, Mr. Conaghey?

Well, for one thing, we can stop shouting.

[Ed] Okay.

I'll come right to the point, Mr. Brown.

I wish you would.

We'd like this young man here to

become a member of the Garage Mechanics Union.

I don't hear too well. What was that he just said?

I don't know. I must have dozed off. Are there any calls for me?

So, uh, you're a union organizer, huh?

Well, I must say you could have fooled me.

In my day, a union organizer looked like a union organizer.

He not only were a lumber jacket

he had coveralls and a broken nose.

I'm sorry, you object to my dress.

Why should I object to your dress?

I've never seen you wear one.

If you're about through with the anti-union remark--

What anti-union remarks?

Why, I was joined in the unions before you were born.

And as a matter of fact, I would still be in the union

if I hadn't purchased this establishment

and made myself a boss.

And you know what this is establishment has done for me?

It's made me the poorest boss in the United States of America.

- Hear, hear. - Thank you.

- Sign him up. - Ed, come on.

There's no reason for that hard nose attitude like that.

I really should join--

Well you wanna... sign him up?

- Sign him up. - "Sign him up."

"Sign him up," he didn't get mad. "Sign him up."

"Sign him up" the most beautiful words I've ever

heard except for "Chico, your place or mine."

And sign right here.

Okay. Oh, man, Ed, I'm glad you didn't get mad. Whoo!

I thought you were gonna blow up like one of our

$10 retread specials.

I'd be telling you know that you're lucky to be joining

a union, you get a lot of benefits.

They have a great bowling team, right?

Congratulations, Mr. Rodriguez, you're now a member of the

Garage Mechanics Union.

Hello.

And you, sir, you're gonna be a union shop.

Union shop, that's okay.

Well, Ed, as General Grant said to General Lee

"Like it or not, you're in the union."

And as that noble union leader John L. Lewis

once said, "Management and labor now join forces in cooperation

and harmony in order to destroy each other."

You got it.

Hey, Mr. Brown, I got your schedule of payments here

because you're a one man shop, your health and pension

payments won't amount much more to $600 a quarter.

$600 every three months?

What so this kid can go bowling?

Oh, no, Mr. Brown, the union's changed since you were a member.

We don't even have a bowling team anymore.

You don't have a bowling team anymore?

Then why does he have to join the union?

'Cause we got other benefits and they cost money.

Ah, Ed, when-when they said I'd get benefits

I didn't think it was gonna cost this much money.

My boy, you don't have to worry about a thing.

It's not gonna cost a penny. You know why?

Because you're not joining the union.

Employers always plead poverty.

I never plead poverty, I proclaim it proudly.

How did that settle?

What do you think of the Ram's chances this year?

Ah, listen, Mr. Conaghey, hey, I don't need any benefits.

You're required to have a health plan.

We have a health plan.

Every time he sneezes, I say, "Gesundheit."

Listen, Mr. Conaghey, I'm really very healthy.

I've only been in a sick bed once in my life

and then I was healthy, the bed was sick

holding the mattress, rip sheets everything.

Once I had the German measles and they surrendered.

[laughs]

What about a pension plan for your old age?

Don't worry, I got a rich girlfriend.

Besides, he's in my will.

Mr. Brown, you signed a union contract here

and you will abide by that contract.

You're gonna be assessed health

and pension benefits for this man.

And I'd like to know when we can expect payments.

I'll tell you when you can expect payment.

When I take my vacation in Iceland because it's gonna be

a cold day before you see one penny.

Ah, look what I did. Look at this.

I just put this carburetor together perfectly.

Congratulations, Ed.

I was supposed to be taking it apart.

I'm waiting for an answer.

You're waiting for an answer? I'll give you one.

Get out of my garage.

- Is that your last word? - No, my last word is...

[blows raspberry]

That does it!

Rodriguez, you're going out on strike.

Get out there. Hit the bricks.

Oh, no, wait a minute, I ain't picketing Ed Brown.

No way, Jose.

That's my good boy.

If you don't pick, you're gonna be expelled

from every labor union in the United States.

- Sorry, I can't do it. - That's my good boy.

Furthermore, failure to pick it is considered collusion with

management, that means a padlock on that door over there

and a $500 cash fine for you, my friend.

$500?

Ed Brown is unfair. Ed Brown is unfair.

What happened to my good boy.

- Ed brown is unfair. - Keep walking the line, son.

Ed Brown is unfair. Ed Brown is unfair.

Ed Brown, don't believe a word I say.

You're a beautiful person.

Ed Brown is unfair. Ed Brown is unfair.

Ed, I'm gonna hate myself in the morning.

That's gonna make two of us.

[Chico] Ed Brown is unfair. Ed Brown is unfair.

Ed Brown is unfair. Ed--

Hey, wait a minute, man. What are you doing?

I'm setting fire to these papers, that's what I'm doing.

You might burn the garage down by accident.

Yeah.

[car horn honking]

[Mr. Conaghey] Rodriguez, you're supposed to be picketing.

Ed Brown is unfair. Ed Brown is unfair.

Pass him by. Pass him by. Ed Brown is unfair.

Go right in, sir. Go right in. Ed Brown is unfair.

Go on, go on. Ed Brown is unfair. Ed Brown is unfair.

What do you want?

Well, my car is down a block with three wheels on it.

In this neighborhood, you're lucky

if your car's got any wheels left on it.

Now, wait a minute, you don't understand.

I haven't understood anything since 1935.

You see that kid out there marching up and down

picketing saying, "Ed Brown is unfair."

Untrue, untrue, believe me.

Because I've been good to that boy

taught him everything he knows about life.

Took me a whole afternoon.

And there he is walking up and down

screaming unfair, well, it's not true.

I'm not unfair. I'm a nice, kind, gentle person.

I'm warm, and tolerant, and helpful to people.

Um, now would you please give me some air in my tire.

- Air in your tires. - Yes.

Are you out of your mind, we're on strike.

Get out of here.

I just want some air.

[Chico] Ed Brown is unfair. Ed Brown is unfair. Ed Brown is unfair.

Ed Brown is unfair. Ed Brown is unfair.

Ed Brown is unfair. Ed Brown is unfair. Unfair.

Ed Brown is un--

Morning, Ed, you're up early.

What do you mean up early, I was up all night.

Some punk kid was parading up and down under my window

screaming, "Ed Brown is unfair."

Ed, be reasonable. Would it be a strike if I yell

"Ed Brown's a great guy. I love him, homie."

Well, there you have a point there.

- How was your night? - Oh, man, it was terrible.

I had this horrible nightmare that you were picketing my van.

Suddenly, I saw this gorgeous woman.

A stunning creature, passionate, sensuous, lovely.

And she was coming toward me, closer, and closer, and closer.

And then she reached out.

And you grabbed her.

No, she wouldn't cross your picket line.

Why wouldn't she cross the picket line?

'Cause you were carrying a sign that said

"Chico Rodriguez is, eh, only fair."

Well, Chico. Just remember this.

I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at that Conaghey. He tricked us.

- Tricked us? - Yeah.

You signed the contract without reading it.

- That was pretty stupid, Ed. - You're right.

And you shouldn't take advantage of a stupid man.

I'm sorry. I will never take advantage of you again.

I didn't know you were that stupid.

That's my good boy.

Now I just buttered the roll and there's some hot coffee

in there, why don't you go in and eat? I'll pick it for you.

You would feed your enemy?

Chico, you're not my enemy, and the union's not my enemy.

You know, who is my enemy? This garage. Go inside and eat.

- Okay. - Alright.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

Ah, Ed, you're forgetting something.

What?

Oh. Ed Brown is unfair. Ed Brown is unfair.

Ed Brown is unfair.

[speaking in foreign language]

Oh, good morning, Mrs. Rosado.

You know I don't speak Spanish.

Yeah?

So why don't they get married?

Oh.

Oh, they can always use the car.

Yeah.

They're gonna have a nice honeymoon, yeah.

How old are kids now?

Oh, okay, that's different.

[Chico] Hey, Ed, uh...

Thanks very much. I'll take over now.

Ah, just when I was beginning to enjoy it.

Listen, Ed, I hate to do this to you 'cause you're a nice

nice, sweet, generous person.

Ed Brown is unfair. Ed Brown is unfair.

- Ed Brown is unfair. - It's a pretty day...

...to pick up the trash.

Hey, what's happening, Chico.

I'll tell you what's happening, Louie.

Once upon a time, there lived a sweet old garage owner

who opened his heart and his garage to a young lout, a creep

who shall remain nameless.

But the initial is CR.

And all of a sudden, one day, when the old man wasn't looking

the young lout stabbed him with a health plan

and disability, and pension.

Yeah, and if this wasn't a public place, I'll show you

where he got me with the cost of living allowance.

It's a 100 percent right.

Ed Brown is unfair. Ed Brown's unfair.

Ed, the boy's heart ain't in it.

I'll guarantee you nobody go look at that sign.

They're gonna pass him by as if he was invisible man.

Oh, I guess you're right, Louie. Come on in and have some coffee.

You kiddin'? I don't cross no picket line.

Ah, Louie.

I'm sorry, Ed.

So couldn't you just push your can out

so it'd be across the picket line.

'Cause you see, Ed a strike between the employer

and employee is like a divorce.

And in this divorce, you get custody of the garbage.

You know something, Louie.

When I look up at the little birds in the sky

I don't see anything going on around me

down here on the ground.

Well, if somebody could cross my picket line

I'd never even know it.

Why there's a yellow-bellied sapsucker.

Say, sucker stop sucking the sap out of the tree, man.

What's up with you?

Get off of there, man.

What's wrong with you?

Come on, Louie, take out that garbage.

No, sorry. Negotiations is over.

And, Chico, I'm behind you.

And so is every man in labor, and every woman in labor too.

Louie, why would you do a thing like this to me?

Ed, he has to, it's called a sympathy strike.

Sympathy strike, eh? I'm the one who needs a sympathy.

Ed Brown's unfair.

Ed Brown's unfair. Ed Brown's unfair.

- Hey, Mando. - Hey, Chico.

Hey, what's going on here, man?

- Strike. - A strike?

Yeah, a strike.

[speaking in foreign language]

- Ed Brown is unfair. - Yeah, Ed Brown is unfair.

[both] Ed Brown is unfair. Ed Brown is unfair.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hold it, hold it, hold it.

Come on, Mando, I need some gas.

- No gas. - No gas?

I can't wait for the Alaskan pipeline to start pumping.

Not over the bleeding bodies of the masses.

Ed Brown is unfair.

Hey, hey, hey, stop the bleeding. Please, Mando.

Mr. Mando, you bloated capitalist.

You, you wrenched the food from the mouths

of the oppressed proletariat masses.

Not Ed, he made me a great breakfast this morning, man.

You're falling for the tool of the bosses.

You, you exploit the enslaved masses

you torture the suppressed labor

you suppress the deprived proletariat.

Well, a guy's got to have some kind of a hobby.

Let the revolution start here.

[speaking in foreign language]

- Hey, hey! - Hey, Mando! Mando! Mando, no!

No, Chico, Chico, let him go. Let him go.

He was gonna douse you with gasoline, man.

I know that, but I was standing over the valve intake

and I was hoping some of it would leak down

so we'd have enough for next week.

Hey, man, Mando, I'll tell you what, listen.

The intake valve is right here in front of the picket line.

You don't have to cross the picket line.

Yeah, but the pipe crosses the picket line underground.

Yeah, but nobody's picketing underground.

He's got a point.

I'll check it out in our union meeting.

- When's the next meeting? - Six months.

Oh.

Hey, we don't need your gas.

- Yeah, we don't need your gas. - Yeah, take it.

But why don't we need his gas?

- 'Cause I'm closing the garage. - Oh.

You're clo-you're closing the garage, man?

- You heard me. - You can't close the garage.

I can, huh, you see this sign?

No gas, no customer.

Look at the bright side, you got no customers

you don't need any gas.

Keep going. I won't stop. I'm finished.

- Finished, Ed Brown? - Yeah.

What happened to that lover of a good fight?

Oh, same thing that happens to all good lovers.

They run out of gas.

You can't do this, man.

Think of Ed Brown.

Think of the garage business. Think of me.

Think of, think of all the years you've spent here, Ed. Ed.

- Ed, listen. - What?

I'm sorry I joined the union.

I admit it was a stupid thing to do.

I've caused you nothing but trouble

and I apologize from the bottom of my heart.

Hold on a minute.

- Ed Brown is unfair. - Haa.

This is not a garage, this is Ed Brown's monument to failure.

Ed, please don't say that.

After all, you made a success out of me, why

over here is where I learned to grease.

Here at this bench is where I learned to weld, and over here

in the van where I sleep, is where I learned to, uh, study.

Yeah. Well, I need to show you a lot of things that I've learnt.

Here's where I learned to do my body work.

I hammered, and I pounded, and welded

till my body fell apart.

And over here, the place that I hate

I broke my leg at this bench, and I hate it, I hate it.

Oh! I think I've broken again.

And you see this over here, this gear.

This is something I took out of a doctor's car

and I didn't put it back in and he sued me for malpractice.

And over here is the bitterest spot of all.

This is where I was standing the night you walked into my life.

Rodriguez, where've you been?

You're supposed to be out there picketing, you know that.

Hey, man, forget it. Picketing this place

is like making love when your 92.

It's possible, but why bother.

I've seen that "For sale" stunt pulled before.

He doesn't mean to sell this place.

Oh, no, just make me an offer.

Hold it.

Yeah, Chico, man, what if you bought the garage, brother?

What would I want with it?

Man, then you could be the boss.

Yeah, but then I couldn't be in the union.

Here, good thinking, stupid.

Mr. Brown, I wish to make you an offer for half interest

in this wonderful property, what do you say?

Well, I have to think it over. You mind if I use your office?

Yeah, but look out for the Spanish kid in there.

Alright.

Ah, why do I have to think it over?

Because he's only a kid.

So if he's only a kid, don't worry

he'll get older in this garage.

How much do you think you oughta get from it.

Ask for top dollar.

Okay, Chico, how much have you got?

- Six bucks. - Sold.

Chico, why are you doing this?

Because it's a far, far better thing that I do

than I've ever done before.

Listen, I respect your union, I admire your union

I think unions are wonderful.

But listen, man, I love the old man, okay?

Frankly, off the record, I think organized labor is better off

without you two bozos.

And you know something?

On the record, I think we're better off together.

Yeah, stay out of our garage.

- Not selling him. - Chump.

[laughs]

That's funny.

That's so funny.

[laughing]

Okay, you ready? Back to work.

- Back to work? - Back to work.

- Work, did you say? - You heard it.

I bought half an interest in this place. I am a boss now.

I no longer go back to work.

As you say...

[imitates Ed] "Clean up the floor.

Fix that engine. Make me my lunch. Get me some champagne."

[laughs]

Chico Rodriguez is unfair. Chico Rodriguez is unfair.

Chico Rodriguez is unfair. Chico Rodriguez is unfair.

Chico Rodriguez is unfair.

Morning, Chico.

Well, management is happy to welcome labor back to work.

Yeah, only 'cause I needed my six bucks back.

Come on, sweetheart, give me a charge here.

I hope you two will be very happy together.

Okay, be smart if you want to, but it's a known fact that

inanimate objects are like plants

if you talk to them they like you.

[speaking in Spanish]

[sparks]

Come on!

That's strange, they never answer back.

Come on, give me that before you get yourself hurt. Come on.

[theme song]

[male narrator] Chico and The Man was recorded live before a

studio audience at NBC Studios, Burbank, California.

♪ Chico was born in El Barrio ♪

♪ Spent much of his time in the street ♪

♪ His mind was crazy for knowledge ♪

♪ His belly for something to eat ♪

♪ Times are hard ♪

♪ Chico and the Man ♪

♪ Times are hard ♪

♪ Chico and the Man ♪

♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah It's alright ♪

♪ Yeah ♪♪