Original subtitles

♪ One two a one two three and ♪

[theme song]

♪ Chico don't be discouraged ♪

♪ The man he ain't so hard to understand ♪

♪ Chico if you try now ♪

♪ I know that you can lend a helping hand ♪

♪ Because there's good in everyone ♪

♪ And a new day has begun ♪

♪ You get to see the morning sun ♪

♪ If you try ♪

♪ And I know ♪

♪ Things will be better ♪

♪ Oh yes they will for Chico and the man ♪

♪ Yes they will for Chico and the man ♪♪

Chico!

Chico!

Buenos dias.

What is this?

The bathtub.

- What's it doing here? - Waiting to be installed.

Right next to the pump? Listen kid.

Washing that windshields is as far as I go.

Ed, it's for me, I'm gonna connect it up in the closet

in the bathroom so I can take a bath.

What's the matter with the bathroom upstairs?

Well, it's inconvenient.

Especially when I'm getting dressed for a date.

You don't get dressed you get a upholstered.

Ed, think of how much I get in your way.

Yeah, I thought of that ever since you first moved in here.

With a bathtub, I won't get in your way so much anymore.

That's asking a lot from a bathtub.

Ed, it won't take much space if I connect it

in the closet behind the restroom.

Won't take any space if you put it back

where you first got it.

I can't do that.

See, I got it from Louis and he got it

from the 12th floor of a building that's been torn down.

So, he may get it back up there but it ain't gonna stay.

What do I need with a tub?

I took a bath when I first bought this place.

Ed, I bought all the plumbing stuff with my own money.

It's not gonna cost you a dime.

Not gonna cost me anything?

Well, at least the price is right.

Alright, do me a favor.

Just don't leave your rubber duckies all over the garage.

Quack!

Quack!

Rodriguez Chico?

Yes, but not necessarily in that order.

They used to call me that in grade school

because I was a backward kid.

[laughing]

I am building inspector Gomez.

I have it recorded here in my form 11-K

that one Rodriguez Chico called City Zoning Office

stating intention to install a cleaning facility

with necessary intent and plumbing modifications.

That has nothing to do with that, I wanna put in a bathtub.

Permission for said bathtub will be granted

subject to my safety inspection of the premises.

Hey, what's going on here? Who's that?

That's Building inspector Gomez. This is Ed Brown the owner.

Brown, you are dangerously exposed.

I am?

- He means the fuse box! - Oh.

- Yes, the fuse box right here. - Yes.

Faulty wiring, that's a fine of $150.

- 150 dollars? How's-- - Ah, Mr. Gomez, please, listen.

Don't write that down yet. I'll have it fixed today.

I promise please.

Brown, this is a very dirty business license.

Well, this is a very dirty business.

The license, it is not legible.

This violation is punishable by a fine of another $150--

Oh, no, no, no, no, oh please, don't write it down.

I-I'll tell you what, I'll clean it up right away.

[fuse box sparking]

Make for the hills, it's a towering inferno.

Now, about this bathtub Rodriguez Chico.

Tell me why do you need a bathtub here in this garage?

'Cause it's too small to have a car wash.

[laughing]

I got to take a bath some place.

Then why don't you do it at home?

Well, this is my home. You see, I-I live over here in this van.

Yeah?

You mean to tell me that this van

is your only place of residence?

Oh, no, no, no, no. He's got a summer van in the country.

Occupancy as a domicile of unauthorized and uninhabitable

facilities shall be subject to a final $500.

- $500? - Hey, hey, hey.

Take it easy, take it easy we're in no trouble.

- No trouble, no trouble. - No trouble? Okay.

[Chico speaking in Spanish]

Ah!

I do not speak Spanish during the business hours.

- We're in trouble. - Big trouble.

You have 24 hours, 24 hours to correct these violations.

Oh, oh.

And Rodriguez Chico.

You shall not occupy, inhabit or reside in a van, you understand?

Remember, I'll be keeping an eye on you.

Gomez!

The next time I run into you I hope I'm driving.

Verbally insulting a city official

has just cost you another $50.

Well, that's the first bargain I've gotten today.

Yeah.

What's the matter with you?

What's the matter with me? My life's over.

I'm not only homeless, I'm bathless.

Hey, good morning, Eddie. Hi, Chico!

I got a sailboat for your bathtub!

Yeah, well, I got a bathtub for your sailboat.

Say what?

Uh, Louis, let me explain see, City Hall says

that sleeping in the van is illegal.

Oh, come on man. You got to be jiving me.

No, I'm not.

Louis, suddenly getting your eight hours a night is a felony.

But you can have your bathtub back.

Oh, no, no, thanks Chico I already got one.

You see, having two bathtubs is like having

an ex-wife and a wife.

- How's that? - One soaks it.

The other one gets the rain.

Well, anyway, I can't sleep in a van anymore.

Oh, well in that case, Ed.

Why don't you let the kid stay upstairs with you?

You got to be kidding.

I mean, it's not like he's a stranger.

You see, by now, you've gotten used to him.

Yeah, I get used to my arthritis but it's still a pain.

That's right man. I need a place of my own.

A place where I can put a full-size bed

color TV, a refrigerator and a bathtub

then I'd have something.

Yeah, a crowded bathroom.

Chico, you're absolutely right.

After all, you're only young once.

You're a growing boy and you need to spread your wings.

I tell you what, why don't you move upstairs with me

and get a taste of the high life?

- Get all the gusto I can, huh? - Yeah.

- I'm gonna be your roomie? - Yeah, well.

If you're gonna be my roomie, it's not gonna be

as roomie as I hoped.

But, um, it's better than having a cat that sheds.

When he turns on the charm you can't resist him.

Got to get all my stuff packed up and upstairs in the room.

I got a lot to take. Okay.

All packed.

Oh, Ed, I'm gonna miss my bathtub.

It's hard to read in the shower.

[playing guitar]

[gunshots on TV]

[sighs]

[turns off TV]

Hey!

Are you gonna play that thing or are you just gonna

irritate it to death?

Well, I haven't decided yet.

Listen kid.

There's one difference between this bedroom and any other

bedroom you've ever been in before.

In this bedroom, I make the decisions.

You got it.

Okay, Ed.

We watch TV.

[gunshots on TV]

Oh, I know what you're watching man. It's "Stampede."

A wealthy cattle baron discovers that

his cattle aren't really wealthy.

[dramatic music on TV]

This is a great mystery man.

You'll never guess it was the female jockey

that strangled the guy with the reins.

Give it up Chico you're giving me some good ideas.

He-he! You know who's on "The Tonight Show" tonight?

The Toronto Trash, they're the hottest new

rock group around man. Do you wanna hear them?

I'll show you the record they do.

♪ Baby got to tell me it's you ♪

♪ You know your brother tell me it's you don't you know? ♪

♪ I believe it so you got to tell me it's you ♪

♪ Huh yeah mm-hmm ♪

Well, somebody for heaven's sake please tell him it's him.

Do you know, I'm trying to get some sleep?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.

I mean, I'm trying to get a little shut eye!

It's alright.

Hey, what do you think you're doing?

I just wanted some fresh air.

If God had wanted us to breathe fresh air

he wouldn't have made Los Angeles.

Hey, leave that light on.

[Chico] Eh, you afraid of the dark?

No, I'm not afraid of the dark. I love the dark.

That's why I keep the light on so I can see it better.

I'll tell you what, I'll trade you the window open

for the light out.

Never mind, I'll put it on myself.

[thuds]

- Aargh! - Don't move, don't move!

- I'll turn on the light! - Oh! Oh!

What'd you do man?

Oh. Oh.

That does it man, I'm going for a walk.

I can't put up with this.

You go for a walk at this hour of the night?

Even the muggers are getting mugged.

Don't worry, I still owe them $10 from the last walk I took.

I don't want you coming in at all hours of the night.

I won't come in at all hours. I'll just come in once.

And that will be the once that'll wake me up.

Oh, why did I ever let you sweet talk me

into moving in with me?

Sweet talk? You begged me to move in here as a favor.

Well, do me another favor, move out!

Okay, you know where I'm going to sleep tonight?

In the all-night movie theatre with all the weirdos.

Well, that's a nice place to keep your friends.

Hold it! I got a better idea.

You stay here. I'll move.

[Chico speaking in Spanish]

Ah! I do not listen to Spanish after business hours.

Okay arrivederci!

[saying goodbye in different foreign languages]

Hello, how are you, Chics? The usual?

Eggs rancheros raholi, side of chili with ketchup and a bagel?

I'm not hungry Anita. Skip the ketchup.

Got you. One regular!

- Anita, coffee. - "Anita, coffee."

"Anita, coffee." I'm beginning to think that's my name.

Anita Coffee.

Morning, Ed.

[Ed groans]

- You want a cup? - No.

Just pour it in my mouth I'll take the cream

and sugar later.

That's cute.

Your mood's as bad as yesterday's tuna salad.

There's only one thing worse than that. Today's tuna salad.

Everyone is a joker.

Boy, did I have a rough night last night.

Another night like that and I'll be ready

for a psychiatrist's couch.

Where I'd probably sleep better ha, ha.

Oh, trouble sleeping Chics?

You wouldn't have any trouble at my place.

Winky-winky.

- Shy little thing, isn't she? - Yeah.

How'd you sleep, Ed?

- Sound as a dollar. - That bad, huh?

Listen kid, if you don't like living upstairs with me

you can move out anytime.

I'm thinking about it listen to this.

Apartment for rent, male Siamese twins

seek roommate to share expenses.

Prefer female Siamese twins.

Let me see that?

Oh, the underground swinger huh?

Hey, what kind of a paper is this?

Just regular paper, covers everything.

Yeah. Doesn't cover her too well, I mean...

[whistles] Oh boy, on a clear day you could, oh no.

Uh...

Let me see, mature gentleman wants female companion.

Practical nurse, desirable.

Impractical nurse even more desirable.

- Let me see that. - What kind of talk is that?

Man wishes meaningful relationship with seal.

Willing to relocate.

Give me that.

Uh, I'm seeking someone who enjoys

traditional old-fashioned love

with fire walking and a light show.

No weirdos please.

Call 638 to--

Uh, no, no, I don't think so Ed, I don't...

Ah, good morning, Ed! Hi Chico!

Uh, Anita, coffee.

"Anita, coffee. Anita, coffee."

That does it, I'm changing my name legally.

Maybe, Anita cafe?

Anita java?

Anita cup of joe?

Why doesn't anyone call me by my real name?

Anita Cappuccino.

- Strange girl, ain't she? - Yeah, sure is.

Boy!

Well, how did it go last night, fellows?

- Ah... shut up. - Ah... shut up.

Oh, I see.

Hey, listen to this. This might be the spot.

Furnished room available in large house

kitchen privileges, 20 bucks a week.

Male or female or any combination thereof.

What's that all about?

Well, you see I gave him a chance to spread his wings

and he's trying to fly the coop.

17th and flower.

Hey, that's a pretty tough neighborhood .

Hey, that couldn't be 1714 flower, could it?

You know the place, Louis?

Do I know it?

Why man, when I try to pick up the garbage bag

it tried to pick me up first.

You're not moving in there, I can tell you that.

That's right. People driving motorcycle's in that house man.

Louis a lot of people drive motorcycles.

In their living room?

Well, fellows I got to get back to work.

- Mm-hmm. - But uh Chico...

...I'm gonna warn you,

That's a weird, kinky, degenerate place.

And if you do move there and they have another party

don't forget Uncle Louis eh-eh.

- Louis is dreaming again, huh? - Yeah, he sure is.

Sounds like a great spot though.

A lot of chicks and cats living together.

Yes, sounds more like a pet hospital.

Don't be so old-fashioned Ed. Group living is very in.

And it's a lot of fun too but it depends on whether

you're the groupie or the groppie.

See, if the groper is the groupie

then the groupie of the group is the real grabber.

- But on the other hand if the-- - Oh, alright, alright.

Forget it, I've heard enough.

You're not moving out.

I won't have you starting your life on your own

in a place like that.

Ed, you can't tell me where to live, you're not my father.

Listen, I don't wanna even discuss this.

- I'm moving into 17-14 flower. - Do whatever you want.

- What do I care. - Oh boy.

Just my luck, it happens every time.

Yeah, what's your problem?

I just moved out of 17-14 Flower.

Kids, kids, you work for them you play for them

look what happens.

I hope someday he has his own garage

and he hires a mechanic that gives him as much aggravation

as he gives me.

[applause]

Nobody paid.

Chico?

Chico?

Alright. Go ahead.

Don't pay any attention to me. Keep packing see if I care.

Oh, five minutes, got to hurry.

[cash register dings]

- Oh, good morning, Brown. - Oh, good morning Brown, huh?

Well, it's a good morning for you because

you got a bed to go to tonight.

But, what about that poor boy? What is he gonna do tonight?

Nothing, that's the trouble with you bureaucrats.

Always running around taking beds off under people's noses.

And what about inflation?

Are you doing anything to help inflation? You are?

Well, stop doing something to help inflation, help us.

Yeah, and what about forest fires?

- You know what-- - Brown, Brown!

The wiring on your fuse box looks okay.

But I'm beginning to think

there's a lose connection in your skull.

- So, $150 fine is cancelled. - That's good.

Now, your business license is legible and it's clean.

That $150 fine is also cancelled.

Good, good, good, good.

- However. - "However."

This is gonna be another problem.

Please explain to me why the bathtub

is standing exactly where it was yesterday.

That's because it hasn't learned to walk yet.

- Wait a minute! - What now?

Is that kid still living in here?

[Ed] No, no, no, no, he's packing to get out, he--

Rodriguez Chico!

Aye man, I didn't know she had a husband.

The man...

...the man is still using the van as a residence.

He was sleeping in it!

He wasn't sleeping he was napping.

Napping, sleeping, ah what's the difference?

That's when I say what's the difference?

Hey, why don't you leave us alone?

Because you are violating a city ordinance.

- What city ordinance? - This city ordinance.

"Whereas a private party or parties may not live, dwell

"or otherwise inhabit a citizen commercial enterprise

"with the exception of of course of such security personnel

which maybe necessary to maintain the security of--"

Wait-wait a minute, would you mind repeating that last thing?

I cannot start unless I do it again from the beginning.

"Whereas a private party or parties may not live--"

No, no, no. The thing about the security personnel.

Oh, yes, the security personnel that means the night watchman.

Oh, night watchman. Eh, Gomez, I think you got something there.

Chico, do you realize how many times I've been knocked off

ever since I got this place?

- Not once. - Yeah.

But how long can my luck hold out?

After all, anything can happen at any moment.

Wait, I hear something.

Don't shoot! Drop your gun!

[Ed] Police are right behind you!

It was the cat.

Ah... but that was pretty close.

Danger's all around us.

I, hold it, don't move.

Do you hear it?

Digging?

Somebody's tunneling beneath our feet.

Help me down.

Ah-ha!

Ah-ha, I hear 'em.

- Gofers. - Gofers.

But who knows what they're after?

Help me up.

Yes sir!

I need somebody to watch this place day and night.

That's what I need I've got to find somebody

who can watch this place at night. Who can I get?

Got to be a night watchman, right?

I need a man who's big, strong brave, smart.

But since there's nobody like that around

it'll have to be Chico.

Gomez, I would want you to meet my new night watchman

Chico Rodriguez.

You think you put one over on me, didn't you eh?

Well, let me tell you something.

You did.

Just so your day isn't a total loss...

...give us a five dollar fine for littering.

[Gomez speaking in Spanish]

What'd he say?

Doesn't matter, you couldn't do it anyway.

Well, Chico.

Now, as you're the night watchman, you can sleep

in that van anytime and as long as you like.

Ed, I wanna talk to you about that.

Yeah.

It's hard for me to say this but uh...

...I don't wanna live in a van anymore.

No?

I think maybe I should move out.

Then I won't be in your way so much

and you won't have to put up with my bathtub

and my guitar playing and with me.

Is that the way you want it?

Isn't that the way you want it?

Well, I... I'm not gonna beg you to stay.

If you wanna go, go ahead.

You know, I'm not gonna to stop you.

But I want you to know one thing.

I'll miss you.

You'll miss me?

But, I won't miss you with this if you don't get back to work--

I'm going, I'm going right now. I'm going, I'm going.

Ah!

Well, Ramone, the big moment we've been waiting for.

Our first bath together in the new bathtub.

[theme song]

[Ed] Oh, don't just stand there, scrub my back.

♪ Chico was born in El Barrio ♪

♪ He spent much of his time in the streets ♪

♪ His mind was craving for knowledge ♪

♪ A belly for something to eat but times are hard ♪

♪ Chico and the man ♪

♪ Times are hard ♪

♪ Chico and the man ♪

♪ Hey hey hey hey ♪

♪ Alright yeah yeah ♪♪