Original subtitles

[José Feliciano] One, two, a-one, two, three and...

[guitar playing]

♪ Chico, don't be discouraged ♪

♪ The man, he ain't so hard to understand ♪

♪ Chico, if you try now ♪

♪ I know that you can lend a helping hand ♪

♪ Because there's good in everyone ♪

♪ And a new day has begun ♪

♪ You can see the morning sun if you try ♪

♪ And I know things will be better ♪

♪ Oh, yes, they will for Chico and the man ♪

♪ Yes, they will, for Chico and the man ♪

♪ Even though he's funny, he don't understand, yeah ♪

[humming]

♪ Don't be a stranger ♪

Hey, Louie.

Hey, Chico. You want your mail?

- Yeah. Thanks. - [Louie] Yeah.

Hey, look here, Chico, what I found.

[Chico] What do you got, Louie?

This is a genuine ancient Arab scarab.

Where'd you find that?

In Mrs. Goldberg's trash can outside of her bakery.

It must have been dropped on the floor.

Louie, what would an Arab be doing in Mrs. Goldberg's bakery?

That's what Mr. Goldberg wants to know.

How you feeling, son?

If I felt any better, it would be illegal.

Well, give me some skin so I can grin.

Yeah.

Louie, how do you stay so young?

Oh, I keep chasing pretty young girls.

Oh, that's the secret, huh?

No, the secret is don't catch them.

Louie, I wish I could put what you got in the bottle.

I'd give it to Ed Brown.

Oh, you're doing just fine with Ed.

I'll agree sometime he's grouchy and grumpy.

And sleepy, dopey, and sneezy.

Yeah, but some day he's going to be happy.

I'm going to let you in on a secret, son.

One of these days, you're going to be his full partner.

It's written in the stars.

You really believe in all that star jazz, Louie?

Well, sure. You got to.

Man's destiny is preordained.

Now, you being here in this life

is the moving finger having writ.

The way I remember it, the only fingers I saw

when I first came in here

were in the form of a fist shaking in my face.

No, I'm not talking about that kind of finger.

I'm talking about the finger you can't see.

It's all around you moving you and grooving you.

Now, what do you think they mean

when they say the handwriting is on the wall?

The graffiti.

Okay, keep on making fun of the stars.

One of them will fall down and hit you.

Louie, don't give me that star jazz, will you?

It's true. I had an uncle who didn't believe in stars.

Made fun of them. And one of those stars

happened to be pinned on a sheriff's chest.

And now he's a firm believer.

Uh-oh. Oh, wow.

Some bad news?

Yeah, it's from my cousin Carlos in New York.

Oh, bad news from New York. I can dig it.

He got stuck in the subway?

No? He got mugged in the subway.

No? Okay. He got out of the subway,

got caught in an Italian parade in the Garment Center,

then he got mugged.

Louie, I'm going to have to leave Ed Brown.

Say what? You crazy?

Louie, I'll tell you what it is, man.

See, when I was young, my mother got sick,

so she sent me to New York City to live with my aunt.

And my cousin and I shared the same room.

We slept in the same bed. And we had this dream

that one day we'd go into business together

and he'd have a used car agency and I'd be the head mechanic.

Oh, you were just kids at the time.

Unh-unh. We carried it on even to when I was in the Army.

If I got out alive, we made a pact

that was going to be our future.

Now he's done it. He bought a used car agency.

Well, why don't you try to explain to your cousin

how things are out here?

That ain't going to be easy, man.

The guy -- The guy shared his childhood with me.

We did everything together.

Played cops and robbers with real cops.

Threw water balloons out the window.

Wrote our names in the snow together.

I wouldn't know how to tell him.

Well, you got to do what you got to do,

and you got to go when you got to go.

The moving finger having writ.

Louie, how am I going to break this to Ed?

How are you going to break it to Ed?

Like a porcupine makes love-- very carefully.

Thanks, Louie.

Here, take this.

Now, that's good for warding off bad luck,

hard times, evil spirits, and the blues.

- Louie, do me a favor, huh? - Yeah.

Don't tell anybody about this until I break it to Ed, okay?

Don't worry about it, son.

Doctors have their hypocritic oath,

and we in sanitation have our oath,

which is,

"To help your fellow man,

keep the lid on your can."

Morning, Ed.

Hey, good morning, Chico.

This is a beautiful day.

Yeah. Here's your junk mail.

Oh, well, just put it on the bench.

I'll read it a little later.

Well, you always throw away your junk mail.

Chico, when somebody takes the time and trouble

to send you something to read,

the least you can do is give them the courtesy of reading it.

What got you in such a good mood this morning?

Well, if you really must know,

I'll let you in on a little secret.

I haven't had a drink in three days.

¿Té verás?

And I don't even mind your speaking Spanish.

Yes, sir.

I want you to know that all that drinking was making me grouchy.

Every day I was giving a party, and I was the only guest.

Come on, give me a hand with this, hmm?

Uh, Ed, first, I got to talk to you.

Well, we can talk while we're working, can't we?

Well, it's kind of important.

Yeah, so is this motor.

Because if I don't fix it,

I'm going to blow $165 repair job,

and I just cashed the check.

Ed, there's something I got to tell you.

Let me see, I think this goes this way here.

Sometimes things go the other way.

Yeah, you're right. Maybe it should go this way.

Sometimes decisions you make aren't necessarily permanent.

Ah, you got a point there.

I guess you can do it either way, huh?

Ed, what I'm trying to say is sometimes two people

who are together do not necessarily--

they don't necessarily belong together, you see?

Why, Chico, I couldn't agree with you more.

You sure you stopped drinking?

Want me to show you? Watch this.

How's that?

I got it. You're on something else.

Yeah, I'm on sarsaparilla.

Do me a favor, will you?

Go into the office and open a can of sarsaparilla

for me, old buddy?

[horn honks]

Yes, sir, what can I do for you?

You Chico Rodriguez?

Do I look like a Chico Rodriguez?

Well, they told me this was an A1 garage

specializing in foreign cars.

If this is an A1 garage, you could be a Chico Rodriguez.

Well, I could be a Chico Rodriguez,

but I happen to be Ed Brown.

Oh.

What does that mean, "Oh"?

They told me about you too.

Yeah? What did they say?

- To ask for Chico Rodriguez. - [Ed] Oh.

Well, let me take a look at your car here.

You open that hood and I'll sue you for illegal entry.

Chico!

Yeah, Ed, what is it?

Ah, got a customer. Everybody in the neighborhood

has been telling him how great we are with foreign cars.

He is.

Oh, Mr. Brown's also a great mechanic, mister.

Yeah, he told me.

Listen, I want to bring the car in tomorrow.

Give it a complete tune-up.

You do the work, huh, kid?

That's his job, man.

Good. See you first thing in the morning.

Okay.

[engine starts]

Listen, you better take care of that one.

You got more experience than me.

Oh, no. You're not going to con me.

You're the best mechanic around here.

Yes, Chico, I'm certainly glad that you're in my garage.

Your fame is my good fortune.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

So you just keep gandering along,

and I'll be right behind you.

Ed, you were talking about good fortune.

It's funny you should say that.

- I read your horoscope today. - [Ed] Really?

You Scorpios are in for a surprise.

A Leo friend will be leaving you in the near future

for a faraway place like New York.

But Scorpio is a strong sign.

I'm sure you'll wish the Leo well and not cry about it.

Yeah, well, that's very interesting.

But I don't believe in stars, Chico.

I do believe in you, however.

And...

Well.

We got a customer.

Virgin of Guadalupe,

forgive me for what I'm about to do.

I'll take care of him. - No, no, no, no, no.

Why don't you go in the van and take a little nap?

A little rest. That's what you need.

I'm not tired.

Will you stop bugging me, please?

Yeah, what do you want?

Clean my windshield, will you, please?

That's all you came in here for? For a clean windshield?

No, give me five gallons of gas, too.

Oh, five whole gallons of gas.

Now I can go to Hawaii for a vacation.

Hey, look, wise guy, I want some gas.

But first, would you clean the windshield?

You want me to wash your windshield?

- [man] Yeah. - Okay.

You're crazy.

You should get rid of him.

86.

86. Let's go.

Hey, why did you do that?

Because I'm fed up getting pushed around

by your crummy customers.

If you don't like it, why don't you do what he said?

Fire me. - Oh, no.

Now I realize it's not your fault.

No, not at all.

You've just been picking up all my bad habits, that's all.

As a matter of fact,

I'm surprised that you would put up with me this long.

Ohh.

Ed, I got a problem.

You got a problem? Well, let's hear it.

That's what I'm here for.

Well, I got a letter this morning from a relative.

My cousin. - Oh. Cousin.

Yeah. On the Hungarian side of the family.

[Ed] Uh-huh.

He lives in Hungary.

Well, that makes sense. Yes.

Well, he's got a little problem,

and he asked me for advice.

I want to ask your advice, see what you think.

See, about six months ago, he was looking for work,

and as he was strolling down the road,

he came upon this farmhouse.

Well, the farm was owned

by this mean man who was always drinking.

And he was real mean to my cousin.

But my cousin is an ambitious kid.

He wouldn't take no for an answer.

And even though the old farmer kept insulting him,

he kept coming back until the farmer gave him a job.

Just a minute. If this farmer has a daughter,

I think I heard the story.

Ed, please. It's not an easy story to tell.

I got news for you. It's not an easy story to listen to, either.

Well, anyway, recently my cousin in Hungary

got a letter from his cousin in Romania

who also has a farm and wants him to come and work on it.

But during all this time, my cousin and the farmer

become very close.

So now his problem is this.

How does he tell the farmer who he's grown to love very much

and would do nothing to hurt the guy's feelings,

how does he tell him he's leaving for Romania

in the morning?

Well, Chico, I really don't see any problem

because I can tell you exactly what's going to happen, you see.

When this kid leaves the farmer,

another kid will come along down the road

to take his place, and the farmer will hire him.

And when he leaves, another kid will come along.

And after that, another kid will come in.

And so on and so on. You see, Chico,

around the corner, there's always another Hungarian.

You don't seem to understand.

Of course I do.

See, now that I've stopped drinking,

I see things a lot clearer.

Let me explain.

If you have an opportunity presented to you,

you really should take advantage of it.

See? Don't worry about the farmer.

He'll be all right. He'll survive.

Ed, I'm talking about me. I'm leaving you.

I'm going to New York in the morning.

[sighs]

Mail call!

Mail call!

Shh.

You don't shush a government agent.

Mabel, please.

Ooh. Not now.

I'm still on duty.

Mabel, it's Ed.

Yeah? What's wrong?

He tied one on last night.

Oh, really?

He'd never hear us from up in his room.

Mabel, he's in the van. He never got to his room.

He couldn't make it up the steps.

Oh, I guess you must have told him

you were leaving for New York, huh?

Louie told you?

See, and he told me he wouldn't tell anybody.

Well, I'm not anybody. I'm family.

Why don't you just call your cousin and get out of it?

I can't. I tried that.

My aunt won't take no for an answer.

And my cousin's in San Diego at a wedding.

He'll be here today so we can fly back east together.

Oh.

That coffee smells good.

Onion rolls! Can I have one?

Mabel, shh.

Okay, okay, okay. I'll eat quietly.

Would you please help me?

All right.

Break your promise to your cousin.

I can't do that.

[Ed groaning]

Sure you can. Promises are made to be broken.

Where did you ever hear that?

I saw it on a sign in a motel room.

Look at me.

I was at the beauty parlor yesterday.

For $40, they promised to make me ravishingly gorgeous.

They lied.

Cost $45.

And I only came out beautiful.

Are you done, Mabel?

Nope. I still have half an onion roll left.

[Ed groaning]

Good morning, Ed!

[Ed] Oh, no.

Ohh. Ahh.

Mabel, call the bellboy.

Have him send up some black coffee

and two pounds of aspirins.

Boy, has he got some hangover.

Hey, don't light a match in there.

We'll all be blown up.

- [Chico] Ready? - [Ed] Mabel, get a net.

Here I come.

Steady, Ed.

Ohh, they ought to put an escalator in that van.

Ohh.

You're walking too fast.

Chico, I'll hold him. You get the chair.

I'll hold him. You get the chair.

No, no, go in the van, get my legs,

and I'll get the chair.

- Come on, come on, come on. - Oh, oh.

Oh, the house just collapsed.

I'm sorry.

Oh, there goes the house next door.

I'm sorry, Ed.

Steady. Okay.

Mabel, get him some coffee. - Sure.

- [groans] - Don't worry, Ed,

once you get a little coffee in you, you'll feel better.

Oh, Mabel, please pour the coffee very softly.

Ohh. Ohh.

What's the matter, Ed? What is it? Your heart?

- Oh, no. - Is it your heart, Ed?

No. I smell onion rolls.

I can't stand the smell of onion rolls.

- Hey, you threw them all away. - That's right.

I wanted another one.

Here's a nice cup of soft coffee.

Oh, thank you. Thank you, Mabel.

Ohh. Oh, I can't remember anything.

Oh, what is it, Ed?

It's nothing. Nothing is very clear.

Your wallet. He lost his wallet.

Is that it, Ed? You lost your wallet?

No, no, I can't remember the capital of Arkansas.

What's the capital of Arkansas?

Capital of Arkansas. Capital of -- I don't know.

Don't look at me.

Mabel, take it away.

What's wrong with it, Ed?

The cup's too heavy.

He needs air. Mabel, get me that paper bag.

No, no, please, no air. Just...

Put the bag on his face.

Oh.

[air hissing]

Oh, I still smell the onion rolls!

Oh, excuse me, Mabel.

Ohh. Ohh.

Oh, Chico, Ed is going to miss you.

But I'm going to miss you, too.

Mabel, what's that?

I didn't have time to get you a present.

If you want to think it over, Chico,

that's what you'll be leaving.

Mabel.

Yes, Chico?

Forgot your gum.

Keep it as a souvenir.

Ohh.

Ed.

Ed, now, I-- I think we should talk.

Ed, I know this isn't easy.

It's not for me either.

Ed, this is no way to end a relationship.

Ed.

Well, don't ignore me, man.

Ed.

How's it going?

I just came by here to help you pack, man.

Instead of helping me pack, man,

why don't you just do me a favor and go to work for Ed?

Because he needs somebody.

You got to be jiving. You know old folks hates me.

Get out of my garage.

That goes for you, too.

Come on, I'll help you get ready.

Hello? Chico Rodriguez?

Hey, Chico.

Oh, man, Carlito.

How you doing? This is my friend Mando.

Hey, what's going on, brother? Mucho gusto.

[speaks Spanish]

Get out of my garage.

- Who's that? - His boss.

At Christmastime, he makes a great Scrooge.

You're kidding.

How can you work in such a dump, man?

It's not exactly a dump.

Hey, what's this thing?

Oh, that's where I used to sleep.

You're putting me on.

No, it's not that bad. It's comfortable.

Matter of fact, I kind of liked it.

Esta loco. He even likes the old man yelling at him.

Maybe going to New York will straighten him out.

[Louie] Chico.

Hi, Ed.

Hey, Mando. - Hey, what's going on, brother?

This is my cousin Carlos.

It's Louie. - Hi, Louie.

Yeah, you look like a nice, understanding young man.

Too bad you're causing so much trouble.

Hey, we're going to miss our plane, Chico, huh?

Yeah. Louie, I'll see you.

Okay.

Have a good trip, carnal.

Thank you. Okay. Take care of yourself.

- You ready? - [Chico] Yeah.

Ed?

Ed.

At least you could say goodbye.

I never said hello, did I?

After all I've done for you.

After all you've done for me?

I took you in off the streets.

You took me in? Who was it that cleaned up this place?

Man, I got you to smile once in a while.

Smile? What have I got to smile for?

Because you got me to take out a loan for $2,000

that I can't repay?

Because you made me friends with a lot of people

in the neighborhood that I didn't want?

I got you to live.

Live for what? For who?

Me? No.

I did it for you. I wanted you to have something.

Do I look like I'm going anywhere?

- Yes. - No.

You're going to go back to being stubborn.

I never left.

So this was all for nothing?

It certainly was all for nothing.

The minute you get a better offer, you run like a thief.

It's not a better offer.

- It sure isn't. - What are you doing?

I'm going back to New York. Alone.

It's okay.

See, my family and I always worried about you, Chico,

because you had no place to go.

But they'll be happy to know you got a place now.

And we both got our dreams. I've got my used car agency,

and you're a head mechanic.

[speaks Spanish] - Gracias.

Hey, take him along with you. I don't want him.

No way.

Wait, wait, man. I am going with you.

You can't fool your own cousin, Chico.

Oh, keep on fighting, fellas.

I never seen so much love in my whole life.

Well.

Well, what?

Get out of my garage.

You going to say a civil goodbye?

No.

Then I guess I have to stay.

[Ed sighs]

I fixed that motor.

When the guy comes in to pick it up tomorrow,

tell him you did it.

It's good for business.

♪♪

[announcer] "Chico and the Man" was recorded live

before a studio audience at NBC Studios,

Burbank, California.

[José Feliciano] ♪ Chico was born in El Barrio ♪

♪ Spent much of his time in the street ♪

♪ His mind was craving for knowledge ♪

♪ His belly for something to eat ♪

♪ But times are hard ♪

♪ For Chico and the man ♪

♪ Times are hard ♪

♪ For Chico and the man ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey, alright ♪