Original subtitles

[José] ♪ One, two, three and ♪

[theme music plays]

♪ Chico, don't be discouraged ♪

♪ The Man, he ain't so hard to understand ♪

♪ Chico, if you try now ♪

♪ I know that you can lend a helping hand ♪

♪ Because there's good in everyone ♪

♪ And a new day has begun ♪

♪ You can see the morning sun if you try ♪

♪ And I know things will be better ♪

♪ Oh, yes, they will for Chico and the Man ♪

♪ Yes, they will for Chico and the Man ♪

♪ Even though it funny, he don't understand ♪

[thunder rumbling]

Ahh.

The only way to balance these books

is to put them on a set of scales.

[knock on door]

- Go away. - [knock on door]

I said go away.

[Sharon] It's me.

I don't care who it is. Go away.

[Sharon] It's me, your daughter.

My daughter? What's your name?

[Sharon] It's Sharon.

Oh.

What's your mother's maiden name?

[Sharon] It's pouring rain. It's pouring out here.

Good. This neighborhood could use a bath.

Okay.

Hi.

Hi.

What are you doing here?

Nothing. I just dropped in to drip all over your floor.

You're doing a good job.

Thanks.

You didn't answer my question. What are you doing here?

I tried to call you. Your phone was out of order.

You know, I haven't seen my friends in the barrio

in a long time, and that includes my dear old father.

So I thought I would just drop in and say hello.

Well, hello.

How you feeling?

Fine.

- What's new? - Nothing.

Are you feeling all right?

You just asked me that one.

I'm feeling fine.

Good.

Well, it's been a nice visit.

Well, you just broke your own record, Dad.

You finished me off in 20 seconds flat.

Hey, come back here.

Where are you going? You forgot to ask me one.

What's that?

Forgot to ask me if I'm still drinking.

Are you still drinking?

None of your business.

Dad, there is a reason I'm here.

I've got good news to tell you.

Good news? That's always a bad sign.

Okay. I won't tell you.

Come on, stop that.

You're always straightening things.

Just because you're a nurse doesn't mean

you have to be so neat.

Just like your mother. She was always straightening.

Get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom,

I come back, the bed was made.

Okay, okay, will you just let me tell you my news?

All right. What's the news?

Well, first, I want to prepare you

because I know you, and I know you're not going to like it.

Well, so far we see eye to eye.

Well, if you'd stop being so grouchy

and just sit down and listen.

All right, I'll listen. Listen. Go ahead.

Okay, here it is.

I just came from a job interview with a hospital

- right here in the barrio... - Yeah.

and I think I got it.

You take a job in this neighborhood,

and the first thing you'll be working on is my dead body.

I worked my fingers to the bone

to make enough money to send you to nursing school

so you could get out of this neighborhood.

With that money, I could have bought land in San Clemente.

If I take that job, it's going to be my decision,

not yours.

When are you going to realize

I'm not your little girl anymore?

And when are you going to realize

you'll always be my little girl?

- If I-- - [knock on door]

Who is it?

[Chico] Guess who.

If I guess right, will you go away?

Whew! Hey, man, it's really coming down out there, huh?

What are you talking about? The rain or the property values?

Hey, Sharon, what brings you down here?

Sheer insanity.

What'd the phone company say?

Well, they want to know how you're feeling?

How's your back? How's the garage?

And when are you going to pay your bill?

Never mind about the bill. What about the phones?

All the phones are out because of the storm.

Oh, I got to have a phone.

What happens if there's an emergency?

Suppose I have to make a call to the States.

[Sharon] Goodbye, Dad.

Where are you going?

I told you, I'm going to meet some friends for dinner.

Oh. Wouldn't invite your old man, huh?

You want to come?

I wouldn't eat with those deadbeats--

Hey, Dad, Dad, do you want me to stay?

No, no. Go, go, go.

Enjoy yourself. Have dinner.

Leave your poor old dad alone in this musty old garage

with no phones and no friends except-- no friends.

Hey, Ed, I promised this guy his tire

first thing in the morning. I can't find any patches.

Of course you can't find any patches.

You don't know where to look.

You couldn't find a girl in Tijuana.

I'll go into the store room to see what's playing.

All right.

How's it going?

Nothing changes.

When I do come to see him,

he wants to know what I'm doing here.

When I try to talk to him, he doesn't listen to me.

So I say goodbye. And then he says,

"Wait a minute. Where are you going?"

I mean, Chico, the man has got me up to here in guilt.

My grandfather used to say,

"If you keep your head exposed, you can see the stars."

Your grandfather was a philosopher.

No, he worked in a sewer.

- Hey. - [Chico] Yeah.

Pains me to admit it, but you were right.

We don't have any patches.

Oh, man. I got to get this fixed.

I think I'll take it over to Pedro's Service Station.

Pedro's Service Station? The house of hot parts?

Hey, come on, Chico. We can walk together.

- You can share my umbrella. - Thanks, Sharon.

Yeah, be sure to keep that umbrella closed.

That way, it makes a better weapon.

Listen, we'll talk about the job another time.

No, we'll talk about another job some other time.

- Goodbye, Dad. - Bye.

Listen, I'll see you soon, huh?

If I'm unlucky, I'll still be here.

- Hey. - What?

I love you.

Don't threaten me.

Sharon.

- Yes, Dad? - Stay close to Chico.

At least till you get to the border.

Drive ya nuts.

Why would she want to come back to this neighborhood?

Got a nice life at the beach in Malibu.

Works in a nice hospital.

A lot of nice people, clean diseases.

Why would she want to come back here?

Well, first one today.

[thunder crashes]

With this hand.

Ahh.

Boy, kids are murder.

God, you ever have kids?

Oh, yeah. Him.

Well, he was perfect.

Yeah, but you never had a daughter, did you?

Don't know how lucky you are.

Well, I guess you shouldn't complain.

We all have our cross to bear.

Sorry. No offense.

[knock on door]

Go away.

- [knock on door] - Go away.

- [knock on door] - Oh, all right, all right.

Keep your shirt on. I'm coming.

- Take it easy. - [knock on door]

Relax. Relax. Stop banging. I'll be here in a minute.

[speaking Spanish]

No, no, I don't speak Spanish.

I don't-- I don't speak Spanish.

- [speaking Spanish] - I don't speak Spanish.

I don't speak-- I can't say it any louder.

Estoy buscando-- El niño.

You need a hospital. That's what you--

A hospital. You have to go to a hospital.

See, this is no hospital.

This is an independent garage.

[speaking Spanish]

No, no. No hospital. No hospital.

See, where you come from,

this may look like a hospital, but...

No hospital.

- Hospital. - Hospital. No hospital.

Sí. Sí, no hospital.

Right. You see no hospital because this is no hospital.

You no speak Spanish?

Well, some Jews speak Spanish, yes.

What's-- what's that got to do with--

- You? - No, no, they-- they moved

out of here a long time ago.

[speaking Spanish]

...Francisco Rodriguez.

Francisco Rodri-- Chico Rodriguez?

- Ah, sí, Chico. - Chico?

Sí, Chico. Chico.

Oh, dear God.

Sí, sí, Chico! Chico!

No, no, not so loud.

Everybody'll want some.

Seriously now, take it easy.

Look, let me ask you something.

I'll say it loud and clear so you can understand.

When did Chico-- I mean, where did Chico--

How did Chico-- Well, what's the difference?

He did it.

Chico, huh?

Chico.

- Yeah. Chico. - Chico!

Chico not here. Chico gone.

Chico VISTA Volunteer.

Un momento.

[speaks Spanish]

Chico.

Yeah. Chico. Uh-huh.

Kid was stupid enough to put his return address on it.

Let's see.

Hey, this is all in Spanish. I can't read Spanish.

- Chico. - Chico.

Hey, Ed, I got the tube inflated.

And that's not all you got inflated.

Ave Maria purisima.

Ed, you old son of a gun. What have you been up to?

Me?

What's the matter with you? Don't try to pin this on me.

I got the perfect alibi.

Oh, yeah? What is it?

When you get to be my age, you'll find out.

[speaks Spanish]

[speaks Spanish] ...Chico Rodriguez.

Yo soy Chico Rodriguez.

Ah, Chico!

Chico, Chico!

[speaks indistinctly] ...papa.

Ed, I never saw this girl before in my life, man.

I'll buy that. The lights were out, huh?

Chico, yo soy tu prima, Dolores de Sonora.

Dolores!

Oh, take it easy. Take it easy.

She's got to have this one first.

[speaking Spanish]

¿Y su esposo?

En Sonora. [speaking Spanish]

...para nuestro primo Rico,

Francisco Ramon Rodriguez y Sanchez.

Those must be her brothers. They'll murder you.

- Un momento. - What?

Ed, I don't know how to tell you this.

Yeah?

Wait, well, you see, I hate to admit this,

but for the first time in your life, you're right.

Ed, I'm the father.

I'm going to have a baby.

Not in my garage you're not.

- [Dolores groans] - What happened?

- ¿Que es? - Take it easy.

Yo creo que es el niño.

- She's ready. - I'm not.

[speaks Spanish]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Where are you going?

You're not going to leave me alone with them?

I got to get help for my baby, man.

Come back here. You speak Spanish.

Tell that baby to stay where it is.

- Ay, que dolor de mi espalda. - Yeah. All right.

Well, maybe you'd like to be more comfortable.

Maybe you'd like to sit in the office in the chair.

See, if you were having trouble with your transmission,

I'd know what to do.

Come to think of it,

I guess you are having trouble with your transmission.

Here we go. Yeah. Yeah.

Can I get you something?

An aspirin? Magazine? A pickle.

Oh, God, why are you doing this to me?

I'm a mechanic. I can't deliver a baby.

I hardly know my way around a Datsun.

All right. See? What am I going to do?

Oh, what about-- what about Chico?

What did you ever see in him? Tell me. Huh?

Did he give you a line? Hmm? Is that what he did?

Sure, I can see it all now.

"Hey, honey.

[smooching]

You come to my van, I show you my graffiti."

[screams]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Take it easy.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I know what to do.

I should know what to do.

I used to be a Boy Scout.

I got it. I got it. See, if you were an old lady,

I could help you across the street.

Would you like to take a walk?

Maybe I'll build a fire. That's it.

I'll build a fire in this-- Oh, what good will that do?

I got it. I'll open the door.

This way, if Chico gets an ambulance,

they can rush right in and take me to the hospital.

- That's it. - [Dolores groans]

Oh, take it easy. Relax.

Everything's going to be all right.

What is it now? What happened?

Yeah. Oh. Oh.

How about a cigar?

No, that's for later.

¿Dónde está Chico?

No, no, Chico's not here.

Chico went for help. Chico went for the doctor.

An ambulance. The auto club. Anything.

Where is he?

Oh. Oh, is it-- I know, I know.

He was walking down the street.

He bumped into another pretty senorita,

and they got to talking and laughing and,

oh, boy, in nine months,

I'll have to do this all over again.

Towels. Towels. That's it.

Hot towels. No, hot water.

Towels and hot water. Towels and hot water.

Here we go. Now watch this.

She'll know what to do with them.

Towels. Towels.

- Toallas. - Toallas, yeah.

Still can't speak English, huh?

Towels, towels. Now, use your instincts.

You know, like when a cat has puppies.

I mean when a dog has kittens.

Don't worry about a thing.

Everything's going to be all right.

Prima, Sharon es una enfermera.

Sharon, how did you get here?

Chico found me at the restaurant.

Yeah, well, this girl is going to have a baby.

She's going to have it soon, and she's going to have it big.

Ed, calm down.

Calm down? If you'd calmed down

nine months ago, we wouldn't be in this mess.

- Dad, take it easy. - Don't "Dad" me.

This girl has got to get to a hospital.

There's no time to get her to a hospital.

Help me get her into the van. Come on.

The van. The van. Okay. Into the van.

[panting]

How about that, Ed?

She's going to have my baby in our garage.

Oh, God.

I'm ready now. If you're ready, take me.

Dad, take it easy. I'm a nurse. I know what to do.

All right, what are we going to do?

- Get two aspirin. - Two aspirins. Then what?

- You take it. - I'll take it.

- Just boil some water. - Boil some water.

Boil some water. - Boil some--

Boil some water.

Oh, there we are.

That's the idea. All right.

A little privacy. That's-- Okay.

I don't want to see this.

[panting]

Well, you going to marry her?

She's married already.

This is worse than I thought.

Ed, I'm not the father.

What, are you telling me now you're not responsible?

Well, I'm responsible, but not the way you think.

Why, found a new way?

Ed, believe me.

I'll believe you when you stop lying.

I tell you, I'm not the father.

No? Well, what about this?

Here, read that.

Querida te Ana Teresa--

No, translate it.

I'm not very good at translating.

Well, you're good at a lot of other things, aren't you?

Go ahead, read.

Well, you see, my relatives in Mexico are very poor.

And all I wanted to tell them was that

here in the United States, there are great opportunities

for people of Hispanic descent.

- You mean Mexicans, huh? - That's right.

- Go on. - Well, and I told them,

"Que nosotros tenemos un taller de mucho negocio."

A-ha. That's the line.

That's the thing that got her in trouble.

What does it mean?

It means we have a thriving garage business.

From this, she's going to have a baby?

I just wanted to make my relatives feel good,

and Dolores wanted to come across the border

to have her baby so he could be an American citizen.

And, well, they won't let a woman come across

if she's expecting, so I--

I figured if you find out she was illegal, you'd kick her out.

- So I told you I was the father. - You're lying.

Which time?

Listen, you, I want to tell you some--

[Dolores screams]

[Sharon] Now just push.

- Push? - [Sharon] Push.

What, is she delivering a baby or starting a car?

Ed, she's a nurse. She knows what she's doing.

She's my daughter. She doesn't know what she's doing.

She's delivering a baby.

- She's a baby herself. - She's 26 years old.

Listen, if age had anything to do with intelligence,

would I have ever hired you?

[baby crying]

- Oh! - Oh, the baby.

Congratulations.

Yeah. It cries in English.

You know something?

I understand the baby better than I do the mother.

How about that, a baby in Ed Brown's garage.

Right, right.

From now on, we give away a free baby with every lube job.

What's the matter now?

Nothing.

- Aren't you happy? - Why should I be happy?

Oh, nothing. Just a baby was just born in your garage

and your daughter delivered it.

- So? - Aren't you proud of her?

None of your business.

That's what I like about you.

No matter how serious the situation gets,

you never lose that special quality you got.

- What quality? - Stupidity.

Dad. Chico.

It's a boy.

- A boy. - Hey, man, a boy.

I wanted a girl.

Chico, she wants to talk to you.

[Chico] Sure.

It's a beautiful baby.

Yeah.

Hey, you know why I always yell at you?

- No. - Neither do I.

You know, I remember the night you were born.

- [cash register rings] - A night just like this.

Raining, thunder and lightning.

I ran ten blocks all the way to the hospital.

Because I wanted to be the first one you saw.

And then...

I picked you up.

I kept screaming at you, "Look at me. Look at me."

You finally looked at me and you had gas.

Yeah, but I know it was a smile.

That was 26 years ago.

Now you've delivered a baby.

I've done it before.

It wasn't the first time.

I better go check her.

[wistful music plays]

Hey, you're all grown up, aren't you?

Well...

♪ La la la la ♪

[thunder rumbles]

You know, Ed, the baby looks just like you.

- Bald. - Bald.

My cousin's sleeping now. As soon as she can,

she'll go back to Mexico with her little American citizen.

As soon as he's old enough, just walks across the border

and shakes the hand of his godfather.

Yeah, well, that'll be a very nice day for you, Chico.

Not for me. For you.

She wants you to be the godfather.

She wants me to be the godfather? Why?

Because you let her have her baby in your garage.

A brand-new American citizen of Mexican descent.

You realize what you did?

I've created another Chicano.

Congratulations.

What's holding her up? She doesn't hurry,

she's going to miss the bus.

[Sharon] Okay. She's ready.

[speaks Spanish]

Gracias, Sharon.

Y mil gracias por todo.

Mi hijo yo estamos muy agradecidos.

What was that all about?

She said thanks.

[Ed] Oh.

All that just to say thanks?

Coochie, coochie.

Hey, that reminds me.

I got a little something for the kid.

Señor Brown, por el niño.

Gracias. [speaks Spanish]

A $25 savings bond.

The old man went under the mattress.

Hey, that's all right.

Ah, don't get so excited.

By the time the kid grows up,

the way inflation is going, it'll be worth nothing.

Hey, we gotta catch that bus.

Vamonos.

Goodbye, Dad.

Goodbye.

[speaks Spanish]

[speaks Spanish]

Señor Brown, goodbye.

Well, how do you feel now?

Oh, well, I hate to say it, but I feel good.

- Really good. - See that?

In one day, you become a godfather,

your daughter delivers a baby, and you feel good,

and you haven't even had a drink.

Yeah, well, let's look at it this way.

I'll feel a lot better after I have a drink.

[Freddie] "Chico and the Man" was recorded live

before a studio audience at NBC Studios,

Burbank, California.

[José] ♪ Chico was born in el barrio ♪

♪ Spent much of his time in the street ♪

♪ His mind was crazy for knowledge ♪

♪ His belly for something to eat ♪

♪ Times are hard ♪

♪ For Chico and the Man ♪

♪ Times are hard ♪

♪ For Chico and the Man ♪

♪ Yeah, baby ♪

♪ It's all right ♪