Original subtitles

[José Feliciano] 1, 2, a-1, 2, 3, and--

[theme music playing]

♪ Chico, don't be discouraged ♪

♪ The man, he ain't so hard to understand ♪

♪ Chico, if you try now ♪

♪ I know that you can lend a helping hand ♪

♪ Because there's good in everyone ♪

♪ And a new day has begun ♪

♪ You can see the morning sun if you try ♪

♪ And I know things will be better ♪

♪ Oh, yes, they will for Chico and the man ♪

♪ Yes, they will, for Chico and the man ♪

♪ Even though he's funny, he don't understand, yeah ♪

[funk music playing]

[shouting indistinctly]

- [Ed whistles] - [music stops]

[Chico] Oh, hi.

Sounds like Xavier Cugat getting mugged.

Well, when you're fixing a flat, you got to use a hammer.

I don't mind the hammer. I can't stand that Spanish music.

That's 'cause you don't understand it.

Spanish is a beautiful language. You can insult somebody,

they wouldn't even know it. I'll show you.

[speaking Spanish]

[continues speaking Spanish]

You ought to learn it. That way, you could be a bilingual grouch.

Did you hear that? First, he wants to teach me Spanish.

The next thing you know, he'll be trying to teach me

how to swipe hubcaps.

See, if you learn Spanish,

we could both listen to the same radio station.

You could understand the lyrics of the songs.

- You could listen to the news. - In Spanish?

I don't even like the news I've been hearing in English.

But the news in Spanish is different.

Didn't you ever hear it? [clears throat]

"And now the news.

Golf pro Arnold Palmer was lost today

when he put his hand in the hole for the ball

and never came out again.

Also, tornadoes ripped through five Southern states today.

Authorities estimate the damage could go as high as $1.29."

What am I doing? I must be out of my mind.

I'm watching an enchilada talk into a hammer.

Ohh, I'm missing my breakfast.

Just a little eye-opener.

What you need is a big mind-opener.

How can you live in a neighborhood

and close your mind to everything around you?

It's easy. In order to survive,

you have to close your mind and lock your door.

[car horn honks]

[car horn honks]

Excuse me. Could you take a look at my car?

Sorry, we don't take terminal cases.

I, uh -- I think it's a busted tailpipe. Can you fix it?

I'll take a look.

Hey, come here.

Is this thing still under warranty?

No.

Oh. How you gonna pay for it,

- credit card? - Yeah, credit card.

- I don't take credit cards. - How about a check?

I got enough rubber in the place.

I don't take credit cards, I don't take checks,

and I'm beginning to lose my faith in cash.

Uh, okay, wait a minute. Cash.

- Cash? - Yeah.

How much will it cost?

Well, let's see. It'll cost for labor and parts

and anything that turns up unexpected.

Oh, yeah? Well, how long will it take?

That depends on how long it takes to find the unexpected.

Looks to me like about a four-hour job.

Four hours? What am I going to do

in this neighborhood for four hours?

Take a walk around the block.

For four hours?

By the time you regain consciousness,

it'll be four hours.

You know, I don't even think

I want you guys to touch my little jewel.

[engine sputtering]

Would you mind giving me a little push?

- [Chico] Hey, you pushing, man? - Yeah, I'm pushing. I'm pushing.

Hey, pick that up. We may be able to use it.

Why'd you give that dude such a hard time?

Just trying to make my day a little more pleasant.

- By driving away business? - It didn't drive away.

We gave it a push. Don't you remember?

Look, we couldn't do anything for him anyhow.

We don't have the parts.

- No parts? - No parts.

Man, the way you run this garage is no way to run a garage.

Don't tell me how to run my business.

I can see I got to make some changes.

Changes? You're gonna make some changes?

I'm gonna make some changes.

Number one change, you're fired. Number two--

Never mind number two. All I'm saying

is you ought to invest some money and buy some parts.

- Buy some parts? - Yeah, parts,

you know, antennas, headlights, mufflers, tailpipes,

maybe some pom poms for the antennas,

some fuzzy dice,

a little dog in the back window

with the head going up and down.

And who's going to come up with the money? You?

- Me? - Yeah.

- Money? - Yeah.

It's not my job.

Well, maybe you got some rich relatives.

I got it.

Maybe we can refinance that shirt.

Man, it's simple. You just borrow the money.

Borrow the money? I never borrowed money in my life.

That's un-American. Everybody borrows money.

If you don't borrow money and pay it back,

when you do go to borrow money,

if you haven't borrowed money before and paid it back,

when you do go to borrow money, they give you a funny look,

because how do they know you'll pay it back

if you never borrowed it before and paid it back?

Would you mind running that by me again?

Sure. Everybody borrows money.

If you don't borrow money and pay it back,

when you do go to borrow money, if you haven't paid it back

because you haven't borrowed money before,

they give you a funny look.

Like that. Like that funny look.

Our whole country is based on credit.

Our country? Since when is this our country?

Well, if you don't like it here,

why don't you go back where you came from?

I can't. They're moving in there, too.

All I'm saying is go to a bank

and borrow the money for the parts.

I'd need at least a couple of grand to buy all those parts.

What bank is going to give me that kind of money?

- I don't have any security. - You own this garage.

That's what I'm talking about. I don't have any security.

What banker would be dumb enough to loan me $2,000?

- I know a banker. - Ah.

It's a Chicano banker.

Chicano banker?

Sure, man. It's a community bank.

They're looking to do things for the community.

They always look for opportunities like this.

They don't want to just take out. They want to put in.

Hey, a Chicano banker.

- Yeah. When are we going? - We?

Well, you can't get the loan without me.

- I speak the language. - Don't they speak English.

They speak English, but I'm talking about...

"the language."

Stop that!

You want to play pat-a-cake,

find someone of your own mentality.

Listen, it might be a good idea if we dress up,

you know, make a good impression?

- You know, you own a jacket? - Sure, I own a jacket,

but I don't think it'll impress you.

It doesn't have any rhinestones that light up.

[speaking Spanish]

[Chico] Pretty fancy place, huh?

Yeah, but you should have seen

the building that was here before.

They tore it down to put up this bank.

Oh, that was a real fancy place. Yeah.

People used to drive up in big cars.

Doormen in a uniform would greet them.

Elegant women, well-dressed men.

Boy, real class.

- What was here? - A saloon.

Well, you got to admit, this is progress, right?

A bank that serves the whole community?

What do you think the saloon did?

[conversing in Spanish]

If he tries that with me, he'll be kissing a fist.

I'm Mr. Delgado. Sorry to keep you waiting.

- This way. - Okay.

Take a seat, please.

- Thank you. - Sir?

Ah, right.

- Now, gentlemen... - Yeah.

What can I do for you?

- Well-- - Señor Delgado,

we're interested in getting a loan.

Yeah, we're interested in getting a loan,

but I'm the one that's going to have to pay it back.

- May I see your application? - Yeah, sure. Right here.

Thank you.

Uh, before we can process this,

I'm afraid we will need a little more information

than what you have given us.

Well, what kind of information?

Let's start with your name.

Well, it's right there on the application.

Ed Brown's Garage.

Oh, yes, of course.

How much money would you like to borrow?

Well, I'll need about, uh,

oh, well, a couple of thousand dollars.

See, I want to-- I want to stock some spare parts.

I see. $2,000.

You see, that's good business.

The way the kids are running around the streets today,

stripping cars, I figure this way, they can

steal direct from me and eliminate the middleman.

[Chico laughs]

Mr. Brown has a great sense of humor.

Yeah.

Are you a U.S. citizen?

Yeah, but I'm presently living out of the country.

Out of the country?

Yeah, I live in this neighborhood.

- He's a citizen. - Yeah.

Do you have any liabilities?

He's sitting on my left.

Have you ever been turned down for a loan?

No, I never applied for money before.

Hey, are you going to give me the money or aren't you?

Well, just a few more questions.

- Very simple. - Yeah.

Do you have any record of arrests?

Mr. Brown, arrested? [laughs]

- Yeah. - Yeah?

- Yeah. - Yeah?

- Yeah. - You've been busted?

- Mm. - Alright!

May I inquire the nature of the offense?

Please do. I want to hear this.

Well, if you must know, you see, when I was a kid,

I got a job sweeping up in a - in a music school, see?

A lot of young ladies

were giving lessons on various instruments.

It was a very nice place, too, and they were doing pretty good

until one day, the place was raided.

Turned out, uh, the girls weren't, uh,

giving music lessons after all.

Uh, it was-- It was-- Well, the, uh--

As a matter of fact, the piano wasn't even in tune.

So you were caught in a raid, huh?

Yeah, there I was with my broom in my hand.

You see, I was booked as a youthful offender,

and I never even had a chance to offend.

Well, I don't think we have to include that in the application.

- Yeah. - Mr. Brown?

- Yeah? - You must understand

that money is very tight these days.

So when we grant a loan, we have to make sure

that we are dealing with a responsible person,

someone with integrity.

Now, do you have anyone who could vouch for your integrity?

Oh, I'll vouch for his integrity.

Wait a minute. Nobody has to vouch for my integrity.

Listen, you. I was dragged down here against my better judgment,

trying to get a lousy $2,000.

You asked me a lot of questions, which I answered,

and I consider it an invasion of my-- my privacy.

I'll match my integrity against the president of this bank.

And what's more, if I get the loan, okay.

And if I don't get it, it's okay.

Well, if that's your attitude, maybe you don't want the loan.

- Maybe I don't. - Mr. Brown!

[arguing in Spanish]

We got it.

[Ed muttering indistinctly]

[continues muttering indistinctly]

There's a sound out there I don't like.

- I don't hear nothing. - That's the sound I don't like.

Hey, it takes time, man.

Yeah? Did you hear that? It takes time.

At the rate I'm paying interest on that loan,

I don't have time. I'm going broke.

I got $2,000 worth of parts here,

and not one customer's come in in three days.

We're in debt up to our tailpipes.

How about that?

I had to borrow money to buy poverty.

Why don't you stop worrying? I'll take care of you.

I'd rather have poverty.

[telephone rings]

Hello. Ed Brown's Garage. Rodriguez speaking. Yeah?

Oh, yeah, well, we do a lot of repair work,

but we're very busy right now.

Yeah, real busy.

Uh, yeah. Okay, hold on a minute.

Hey, Luis, be careful with that transmission! You crazy?

Yeah, we're busy as-- Yeah.

Uh, yeah, we're open at 8:00.

- 8:00? - Just a minute. Yes, sir.

Your-- Your Chevy's all ready. Go right ahead.

Yeah. Okay. Beautiful. I'll see you then. Great.

Well, there's number one, numero uno.

Well, tell Mr. Uno we're not staying open till 8:00.

8:00? I don't even stay up till 8:00.

That's the only time the guy can bring his car in, man.

Listen, staying open days not to have any business is one thing,

but staying open nights not to have it, that's crazy.

I'm just trying to help you so you can make some money.

Listen, you barrio Rebozo...

I don't need any more financial advice from you.

You've made a disaster

out of what was a respectably failing business.

- Me? - Yes, you.

You and your snow cone financial theories.

You're wrong, man. I'm not the one who thinks small.

You do. I got dreams for tomorrow.

Yeah? Well, I got a nightmare today.

And this is it right here. $2,000 worth of parts.

You're going to take these parts right back to the distributor.

I'm going broke paying all that interest.

Well, that's what I get for breaking the 11th commandment.

- What's that? - Thou shall not

take financial advice from a Mexican.

Okay. Okay. It all goes back.

Okay.

- Excuse me. - What do you want?

Can I borrow the key to your men's room?

Where is your car?

I don't have a car. Why?

This is a garage. The men's room is closed to pedestrians.

Hey. Wait a minute.

I'm not a pedestrian. I was working around the corner.

Yeah? Who'd you mug?

Oh, no, I was fixing the street.

Oh, must be an election coming up.

The key, por favor?

Wait a minute. Where is this street?

Around the corner. Look,

three days ago, there was a busted water main.

We had to dig a trench, so we made a detour. The key?

Three--

Three days ago, you made a detour?

Yeah, but the job is all finished now.

Look, man, would you please hurry?

Are you trying to tell me that nobody could get through

while you were working? No traffic?

Right, right.

So that's why we haven't been doing any business.

- But it's all fixed now, huh? - Right.

Yeah. And now the traffic can get through, huh?

Right. Look, are you going to give me the key or aren't you?

'Cause if you're not, I got to know now.

Alright, pal.

As far as the key is concerned, we don't have any key.

Go right ahead. The door's open.

Hey, where you going with that box?

What? I'm-- I'm going to pack up the parts, man.

What's the matter with you?

Relax. Take it easy.

Everything's going to work out alright.

It takes time to turn the business around a little.

You been at the cash register again?

Listen, Rodriguez,

you got to be patient. Let me explain something.

An investment is just like a little twig.

Takes time for a little twig to grow into a big tree.

Did you fall out of a big tree?

What's cooking?

Okay, Chico, I got to be honest with you.

I've been thinking the whole thing over,

and I've decided we've gotta give it a little more time.

- Yeah? You mean it? - Yeah, why not?

Fair is fair.

That's great, man. You just watch.

We're going to make a fortune, man. We're going to make Detroit

look like they're in the kiddy car business.

I guess you haven't seen the new models.

They're already in the kiddy car business.

[car horn honks]

Hey, look at this. Things are turning around already.

Yeah, see, didn't I tell you?

Now maybe next time you'll listen to me.

- I'll take care of him. - No, no.

Better let me handle it first.

Get us off on the right foot.

- Yes, sir. - $2 worth of regular.

- $2 worth of regular. - Right.

And while I'm putting it in, how about a set of tires?

No, thanks. Just the gas will be fine.

- I see. No tires, huh? - Nah.

Well, how about a battery?

No, I just put one in last week.

Oh, you did, huh? No battery.

Well, how about a set of jumper cables?

Help your friends out.

Why keep all that energy to yourself?

Just give me $2 worth of regular.

Hey, man, he just wants the gas.

You stay out of this.

Look, I'd like you

to think about a set of Speed More pistons,

the pistons and camshafts

that finished 1, 2, 3 at Indianapolis

five years in a row.

Look, old timer. Will you just give me

$2 worth of regular so I can get out of here?

- Get out of here? - Yeah, out of here!

- With those wiper blades? - Yeah!

Hey, this is a customer, Ed, for crying out loud.

I know it's a customer, and this is a business.

Listen, I took out a loan of $2,000 worth of parts,

and I'm not gonna pay it back pumping $2 worth of gas.

Hey, hey! As far as I'm concerned, you can take

your $2,000 worth of parts, and you can just...

[speaking indistinctly]

Well, you did it again. You drove away a customer.

You tried to shove $2,000

worth of parts down that guy's throat.

Well, that's salesmanship.

Salesmanship?

Yeah, some salesman.

[speaking Spanish]

This is my garage, and I'm gonna run it the way I always ran it.

- Yeah, right into the ground. - Yeah?

Well, I've been in this business 35 years,

and I'm not about to change.

Oh, you're no gonna change, huh?

You gonna stay right where you are, in the bottom.

Yeah. I like it here at the bottom.

When things begin to fall out, you don't have so far to drop.

What about me?

You? You're at home at the bottom.

You're wrong, old man. I'm not at the bottom.

I'm not the quitter, the lazy one, the one with no ambition.

That's the way you feel about it, huh?

That's right. I don't know what I'm doing

hanging around here where I got no future.

In that case, why don't you leave?

- Leave, huh? - Yeah. Leave.

Alright, I quit. You know, I was wrong about that stuff,

"We got to get new parts." Customers aren't

going to start coming in until you get some new parts.

They won't be asking for repairs until you repair yourself.

- Goodbye. - [car horn honks]

Alright. Go ahead. Leave. Leave.

I'll show you who you're quitting.

Smiling Ed Brown. That's who.

[speaks Spanish]

Beg your pardon?

Oh. Fill it up, please.

Ah, fill it up. Yes, indeed, ma'am.

I have regular or supreme.

My husband says to always use supreme.

Ah, you don't need it for this car, ma'am.

Regular's just as good, and it's much cheaper.

I make a little less profit, but I got a happier customer.

Will you get the windshield, please?

Windshield? Yes, ma'am. Right away.

Don't forget the side mirror.

Side mirror. Yes, ma'am. Man's only got two hands.

But one of them's going to do the side mirror.

You might as well check under the hood.

Check under the hood. Okay.

That's water, oil, and battery.

Water, oil, and battery. Yes, ma'am.

I had them checked a couple of days ago,

but I like to keep on top of it.

Smart, smart. That's the way Andy Granatelli does it.

Oh, and get the tires, huh?

Tires? Yes, ma'am.

I carry 30 pounds of pressure in each one.

[Ed] 30 pounds. Right.

Check the spare, too, while you're at it.

Yes. Yes, ma'am.

Nobody wants a flat spare. [laughs]

Gallon and a half? A gallon and a half?

I just had it filled last night, but I like a full tank.

But one lousy gallon and a half? Listen, here--

Uh, Mr. Brown, I'll take care of this customer for you.

Yeah? Wait a minute. I thought you didn't work here anymore.

I thought you were quitting.

I couldn't quit someone who tried so hard.

Besides, you still owe me two weeks' back pay,

one week's vacation, four days' sick leave--

Okay, okay, you're back on the payroll.

I'm sorry. I have to leave.

Here is your dollar for the gas. Adiós.

You look tired.

Yeah. I think I ought to take a nap.

Yeah, all that niceness took a lot out of you.

Yeah.

[Chico] I'll put this in the cash register.

Make sure it doesn't get wet.

[funk music playing]

[telephone rings]

- [music stops] - Yeah. Brown and Rodriguez.

What? Oh, well, can you get a push over?

Yeah, it won't start. Right.

Yeah, we can put that in for you.

Well, let me ask my mu-- I'm not sure.

I'm gonna have to ask my muffler man.

He's put in five today.

Okay. Fine. I'll call you back.

Right.

Ed, some guy needs a muffler tonight,

and I told him we'd do it-- you know,

keep good relations in the community.

Hey, come on. Don't be stubborn again.

Hey, listen, why turn away business, right?

Ed.

You're mad again. Ed?

Ed!

You got to watch your help every minute.

[Freddie] "Chico and the Man" was recorded live

before a studio audience at NBC Studios,

Burbank, California.

♪♪

♪ Chico was born in El Barrio ♪

♪ Spent much of his time in the street ♪

♪ His mind was craving for knowledge ♪

♪ His belly for something to eat ♪

♪ But times are hard ♪

♪ For Chico and the Man ♪

♪ Times are hard ♪

♪ For Chico and the Man ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey, alright ♪