Original subtitles

[José Feliciano] One, two, three and...

[guitar playing]

♪ Chico, don't be discouraged ♪

♪ The Man, he ain't so hard to understand ♪

♪ Chico, if you try now ♪

♪ I know that you can lend a helping hand ♪

♪ Because there's good in everyone ♪

♪ And a new day has begun ♪

♪ You can see the morning sun if you try ♪

♪ And I know things will be better ♪

♪ Oh, yes, they will for Chico and the Man ♪

♪ Yes, they will for Chico and the Man ♪

♪ Even though he's funny, he don't understand, yeah ♪♪

[clanging]

[groans]

Oh, you're going to make it another one of those days,

huh, God?

I'm sorry.

I'm not complaining. I'm just reporting.

Now, what's it going to be?

Stay up or go back to bed?

Tails, I go back to bed.

Heads. I lose.

Oh, well.

[horn honking]

Alright, Ed Brown's open for business.

One pump, no waiting. Don't get trampled in the rush.

Let's see what we got here.

Let's see.

Hey, we don't need that.

There you go.

There we go.

I need a little breakfast.

[cash register dings]

Oh, come on, Ed.

Drinking at 9:00 in the morning?

Well, let's see. It's 5:00 in London.

God save the queen.

[horn honking]

[honking continues]

[whistles]

Something wrong with your horn?

Uh, no.

It keeps honking.

You got any gas?

Oh, you didn't come in here just to make noise, huh?

What do you want? Regular or supreme?

Supreme.

You'll get five gallons if you're lucky.

I got more gas in my stomach than I got in my pump.

You guys think you own the world now.

Look, I'm in a hurry. Check under the hood, will you?

It's all there.

My water.

What about it?

Well, check it.

Oh, you mean in the car?

Alright, stand back. These things get hot sometimes.

May spray a little bit over here.

Oh.

Wait a minute.

[sighs]

Will you hurry it up?

You want me to hurry it up?

Yes.

Wait a minute! You didn't do anything.

I hurried up, didn't I?

[pump dings]

You know, this used to be a nice neighborhood.

A lot of nice people with nice homes, green trees,

no taco stands.

In those days, Mexicans knew their place -- Mexico.

People in this neighborhood don't need a garage.

They run out of gas,

they just siphon it out of somebody else's tank.

And if their car breaks down,

they just leave it where it is and steal another one.

Okay, okay. How much do I owe you?

Oh, well, let's see, uh...

Oh, this was yesterday's price.

It went up again. Let me see.

Should be... Wait. Let me figure this out.

What credit cards are you on?

The green ones with the presidents' face on them.

I don't think I have enough cash.

Oh, that's all right. I'll trust you.

Oh, thank you.

When you come in with the money, you can have your car back.

Hey!

What are you worried about?

It's only five bucks a night for storage.

- [man] You can't do that. - [Ed] Sure I can.

Look at all the space I got here.

Okay. How much is it?

Make it $5.32 with tax.

I'm going to report you to the Better Business Bureau.

Good. Maybe they'll bring me some better business.

[engine starts]

Have a nice day.

You want me to have a nice day? Shorten it.

Ah, let's see...

♪ Ba-dum-ba, ba-dum, ba-dum-ba ♪

Hey, hey, hey!

Oh, buenos días.

What are you doing in here?

Who, me?

Yeah, you. You see somebody else in the garage?

Garage. Looks to me like un basurero.

What's that supposed to mean?

Basurero. It means junkyard.

Get out of here and take your flies with you.

What flies?

Your flies.

You people got flies all around you.

And while you're standing here, your flies are getting together

with my flies and making more flies.

You're a nice man.

Will you get out of here?

Go back to your own neighborhood.

This is my neighborhood.

I grew up watching this garage run down.

You need me.

For what?

I'm Supermex.

- [Ed] Who's Supermex? - [Chico] Super-mexichanic!

Ask anybody in the barrio about Chico Rodriguez.

You know what they'll tell you?

"Oh, yeah. Chico can take apart an engine

and put it back together blindfolded.

He don't need no fancy machine

to tell him what the trouble is."

This is my fancy machine.

One listen, I know what the trouble is.

I take care of my uncle's '64 Chevy.

Beautiful condition. Pom-poms on all the antennas.

Cellophane seat covers, right.

Little dog in the back window with the head going up and down.

Here.

You want me to fix something?

Yeah.

Tighten up your tongue before it flaps out of your mouth.

Amigo...

- Don't call me amigo. - It means friend.

I don't care what it means. Talk English.

[British accent] Very well, friend.

I would like to be the first Chicano

to be associated with this floundering enterprise.

I'm not reporting now. I'm complaining.

You speak all languages. Tell him to get out of here.

Hey, in this neighborhood, you're a minority.

And I'm an equal-opportunity employee.

[sighs]

We'd make a terrific team.

What are you, out to lunch?

You're just going to let this happen to me?

What are you afraid of, old man?

I'm not afraid of anything.

Then why are you drinking?

Because I intend to hit you on the head with this bottle

in a few minutes, and I don't want to waste any of it.

Do you want to know a secret?

What?

[whispering] That stuff is going to kill you.

[whispering] Now you're catching on.

Jesús, hey, did you hear him?

He's not afraid to die. Did you hear him?

And don't you talk to Him in my presence.

Why not? He belongs to us, too.

You want to wind up on the right side of the church?

You drink tequila. That's Mexican holy water.

See, you drink tequila, right?

First you lick salt, then you sip tequila.

Then you suck lemon.

Then you lick some more salt, suck some more lemon,

lick some more salt.

Between licking and sucking lemon,

you don't drink so much.

You're really testing me.

First my wife, then this neighborhood,

now this character.

What am I, a modern-day Job?

A job? No, man, I don't want a job.

I want to be a team.

You want to take me now? I'm ready.

By the way, it's not nice to talk to Him

with liquor on your breath.

See? See what I mean? Now they're telling us

how to talk to one another.

And don't drink my water!

That's a switch.

Oh, everybody knows you people are lazy.

Even if I did give you a job, you wouldn't show up.

You'd be too busy taking a siesta.

Not me, man. I'm all gung ho.

I was in Vietnam. I won a Silver Star.

How, in a crap game?

No. Trying to save the world from democracy.

Mira, here, let me show you. I've got it here somewhere.

The Virgin of Guadalupe, San Felipe,

miniature mission of San Jose, uh, St. Christopher.

That's no good anymore. He got laid off.

Star of David. I don't take no chances.

There it is, my Silver Star.

You got a bottle opener in that thing?

Good.

You finally understood English.

[grumbling]

Hey, why are you so grouchy? I can see why nobody likes you.

What are you talking about? Who says nobody likes me?

Everybody says nobody likes you.

But I don't care what nobody says. I like you.

[horn honks]

[horn honks]

What do you want?

I need a little help.

I'll show you nobody likes me.

What seems to be the trouble, my friend?

My radiator is overheating.

Oh, well, I'll be very happy to check it for you, sir.

Let's see what we got here.

Loose radiator-hose connection.

What are you talking about? How can you tell?

You have to check first. It could be almost anything.

You got a loose radiator-hose connection.

Can you fix it?

Sure. It'll only take a minute.

You're going to tell him he needs a big radiator job?

No.

You're not even going to try and sell him a new fan belt?

He doesn't need one.

See, that's what I like about you. You're honest.

Okay. All done.

Say, you wouldn't happen to have a hubcap

for this wheel, would you?

No. Sorry. We don't carry any.

Don't be so sure. Let me look in the back.

I said we don't carry any!

It don't hurt to look.

I'll put some water in your radiator.

Gee, thanks.

And do you have a Los Angeles freeway map?

Uh-oh. There goes the profits.

Alright. In the office.

There's a business map.

[whistling]

Here's a freeway map.

Hey, I put some money in there. Nothing happens.

You don't know how to work it. Let me fix it for you.

Take it now.

Hey, thanks.

You're welcome.

And watch out how you handle it. Be very careful.

Why?

That's why.

[speaking Spanish]

I got it.

Where did you find that?

You don't know what you got here.

You got to take inventory, man.

That's great. How much do I owe you?

Well, let's see...

Well, forget about the hose, but those hubcaps--

It's on the house.

What do you mean, on the house?

- Public relations. - "Public relations."

Today is our grand opening. [speaking Spanish]

Gracias. [speaking Spanish]

What was that all about?

He said, "Tell the gringo it's nice to come into a garage

and not get ripped off for a change."

Well, tell him the gringo says to go and...

Tell him he's welcome.

Thank you.

[engine starts]

[man speaking Spanish]

[Chico] Tell all your friends.

[horn honks]

Well?

You're a yo-yo, an enchilada yo-yo.

But didn't you hear him?

He said he's coming back. I'm building up the business.

How? By giving away hubcaps?

I couldn't charge him for his own hubcap.

What? His own hubcap.

Sure, I got it from the other side of his car!

That's dishonest!

See, that's what I like about you.

You're sincere and honest. You're one of us.

What?

- [Chico] You're one of us. - [Ed] Bite your tongue.

But it didn't cost him anything, and it made him happy.

And I want everybody to be happy.

Hey, hold it, hold it, hold it.

If you're looking for a job, forget it.

I told you, I don't want a job.

Good.

I want to be part of something.

I want to belong. I want my place in the sun.

Go to the beach.

Listen, old man. How about it? I'm serious.

You and me.

Drop dead.

[Chico] Okay. Okay. I'm dead.

Does that help you? Can you make any money with that?

Sure. I can sell your body to science

and probably get something extra for the flies.

Listen. You got nothing now.

Hundred percent of nothing is nothing.

But 50% of something is twice as much.

You need me for a partner.

I got a partner.

Oh, wait a minute.

Now listen. I've had enough of you.

I'm going upstairs. I'm closing up for the day.

I didn't believe it.

Everybody told me, but I didn't believe it.

I've been watching you since I was little.

I always told everybody there was something good about you.

But it's not true. You're just a grouchy, old man.

And worse? You don't like me.

Huh. You finally got the message.

Come on, flies. Let's go.

♪♪

Hey, what is this?

It's clean.

Clean! The whole garage is clean.

Who stole my dirt?

[Chico singing]

Hi!

What are you doing in here?

Hey, man. Close the door.

If you like to look at naked men, go down to the YMCA.

How'd you get in here?

I thought I locked the door last night.

Yeah, but you left the window open.

You ruined my garage.

Ruined it? How can I ruin a ruin?

You cleaned it.

Who ever heard of a clean garage?

Well, I talked with Guadalupe.

You see, I don't let her bathe with me. You understand.

Oh, I wish I could talk to you in Spanish.

Why? What do you want to say?

Get out of my garage!

Well, do you want to say that in a friendly form

or for strangers?

Aah!

What is this?

[clanging]

Hey, what's going on here? What are you cooking here?

Old inner tubes?

Aside from everything else, I'm a great cook, too.

Hey, when did you move in here?

Well, I was talking with the Virgin of Guadalupe,

and she said I have to give you one more chance.

Will you please get in touch with Guadalupe?

Look, I want you and this stuff out of here.

It's beginning to smell like Saturday night in Tijuana.

That smell attracts my people.

Good.

Open a restaurant in Pasadena and attract them over there.

If you want me, I'll be in my room.

What room?

What is this?!

It's my room!

This happens to be my old crate.

Yeah, and it had your trademark all over it--

dust, scratches, wasn't going no place.

[Chico] What did you ever use it for, Ed?

[Ed] Margaret and me loved this old crate.

We used to drive up to the mountains every weekend.

Yeah, we'd just pull off to the side of the road

and sit there enjoying the view, watching the sunset.

Oh, boy, she loved sunsets.

Wonder how she's enjoying the view now.

Seeing you sit around here, giving up on life.

You're no sunset. You're an eclipse.

I want you out of my garage. You hear?

I don't want you in my garage.

I don't want you in my men's room.

I want you out of my life.

You don't know what you want.

Yes, I do. I want a drink.

Now, where did I leave that bottle?

[Chico singing in Spanish]

This isn't Sunday.

What'd you do, change your day of rest?

Can't you get this Mexican jumping bean

to jump out of here?

[singing in Spanish]

Haa! Oh-oh!

[coughs]

More Tabasco.

Hey, kid. Come here.

Yes, sir.

Do you know anyone around here who fits this description?

Over six feet tall, 185 pounds,

Hispanic descent, dark-brown eyes,

long black hair, wears a thin musta...

Maybe he likes being frisked.

He's clean.

Sure I'm clean, man. I just took a shower.

Don't be a wise guy, Pancho.

Hey, how'd you know my name, man?

Don't get smart, beaner. What are you doing here?

It's my job, man. I work here.

You work for Ed Brown?

Don't make me laugh. He hates Mexicans.

He does? Let's arrest him.

Hey. Hey. What's going on down there?

Mira, mira. Arrest him, man. Arrest him.

I told you. Don't be a wise guy.

Someone knocked off a couple of appliance stores

in this area last night, Ed.

We're investigating. This kid fits the description.

Same age, same height, same mustache.

Well, we all look alike, don't we?

Maybe it was my mother.

Alright, Pancho. You're going downtown.

Ah-ah-ah-ah!

We go downtown, and I'll bring you up on charges

of police harassment, intimidation and illegal arrest.

Never read me my rights. That's the law, the Miranda Law.

Where'd you learn that?

In school. I was born here.

You got papers to prove that?

Why, do you got papers to prove where you were born?

I'm a Chicano, man. I was born in this country.

And what's more, we had it first.

[speaking Spanish]

You people are the outsiders.

I habla your English.

Why can't you habla a little of my Español?

Okay, I'll habla your Español. Vamanos.

Hey. Hey. Take your hands off him.

He was here all last night.

He was?

And what's more, he works for me.

He does?

Viva la Raza! Thank you, Guadalupe.

When did you go in for liking Mexicans?

I don't like Mexicans. I don't like you.

I don't like anybody who comes into my garage.

You got your own lousy world out there.

Keep it out there.

You better lay off the sauce, Ed.

Keep your nose clean, kid.

I only put it where it belongs.

We'll be watching you.

[Chico] You'll see me here all the time.

[engine starts]

Buenos días.

[speaking Spanish]

With both your badges.

Come here. Now level with me.

Were you here all last night?

Sure I was here all last night.

Didn't you hear what you told the cops?

Never mind what I told the cops. I want to hear from you.

You know I was here all night.

I don't know any such thing.

You mean you told the cops a lie?!

That's what I'm trying to find out.

You mean you weren't sure and you told them, anyway?!

Answer the question!

Sure I was here, cleaning up.

You know, I can understand me lying for me.

But you lying for me? Why?

I didn't do it for you. I did it for myself.

I just don't want any trouble.

But I thought that--

Don't think. You don't have the equipment.

But--

Now, listen, for the last time,

I want you to pack up and get out of here.

But--

Get out of here! Get out of here!

Get out of here!

Hey, there's my bottle.

[Chico] Yeah.

Where's the booze?

How do you think I got the grease off the workbench?

You used good booze for that?

Gasoline is too expensive.

Why did you stick this daisy in there?

That was a dumb thing to do.

Wait a minute. Wasn't so dumb.

In Spanish, a daisy is called "margarita."

Margaret.

That was your wife's name, right?

You leave my wife out of this.

[horn honks]

[sighs]

Well, Margaret, what are we going to do about this kid?

[horn honks]

[honking continues]

Hey, Chico, are you deaf? Can't you hear?

We got a customer.

We? We got a customer?

We got a customer.

We got a customer!

Hey, man, did you hear? We got a customer.

Him and me, we got a customer!

Yes, I know. I was here yesterday.

But you're not going to believe this.

I lost another hubcap, this time from the other side.

[Chico playing guitar]

Sí.

Yeah.

Oh, hi.

Hi. I got something for you.

I got something for you, too.

Yeah.

Here.

What is that? That licking-and-sucking stuff?

No, that's what I was cooking yesterday.

It's ready now. Try it.

[gagging]

Wow. This stuff has got a kick to it.

There's no alcohol in there, either.

Oh, it doesn't need any alcohol.

I'm glad you like it.

Yeah.

Oh! [coughs]

Hey, look. It's killing the flies.

What'd you bring for me?

Oh.

Brought you a blanket.

Oh, hey, that's nice, but I'm plenty warm in here.

It's not for you. It's for me.

Stuff it in your guitar. Muffle the damn thing.

It's keeping me awake.

[announcer] "Chico and the Man" was recorded live

before a studio audience at NBC Studios,

Burbank, California.

♪♪

[José Feliciano] ♪ Chico was born in El Barrio ♪

♪ Spent much of his time in the street ♪

♪ His mind was craving for knowledge ♪

♪ His belly for something to eat ♪

♪ But times are hard ♪

♪ For Chico and the Man ♪

♪ Times are hard ♪

♪ For Chico and the Man ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey, alright ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪