Original subtitles

[Music]

[Music]

come here

girl I humble for your

love I got a taste for your love

[Music]

when the night

falls and the

Moon is on

high visions of

you start

today my

mind I'll set

love and

prepare dinner for

two hurry up

baby I'll send him over to pick of

you cuz I hunger for your love got a

taste for your love I hunger for your

love I I hunger for Your Love Got to

taste for your love I hunger for your

love now that you're

here don't be

scared

[Music]

come wake up [ __ ] it's time to party

hold on the [ __ ] hold on get your ass

down here he I'm coming

L

[Music]

down shut the [ __ ] up and pass the booze

so what's the plan now we're going to go

get

Ashley then what we're going to start in

trouble I H for

oh she's fine she's a big girl where is

she no taking a

[ __ ] you guys are such [ __ ] dude go

[ __ ]

yourself so what do you two love birds

been up to that took so [ __ ] long she

knew we were coming it's Friday night

[ __ ] you guys are too predictable well

[ __ ] I had to wake this [ __ ] up you

could have called uh yeah seriously with

this this thing you know I don't even

get reception at my house right yeah I

[ __ ] hate this place I know me too

but we only have a month left and then

it's all to C B I can't [ __ ] wait

it's going to be so epic yeah it's

[ __ ] great do you guys want to get a

move on or do you want to keep licking

each other's [ __ ] in front of my

house [ __ ]

you so you still don't have plans for

college still nothing I'm way way

uh yeah with what money yo I don't know

why don't you rob that dumbass coffee

shop you work at or

something yeah because that place is

[ __ ] loaded even if I Rob that place

of all the cash just ever made I still

would not get very far you're at least

going to visit us right yes what is the

big deal you guys are going to be back

for Thanksgiving and winter break it's

not the same your parents aren't like

ours I mean we're going to have freedom

for the first time in Our Lives exactly

we can get drunk when we want we can get

[ __ ] up drunk when we want have sex

with each other [ __ ] you yeah you wish

leave it alone Chelsea we all know that

Ashley loves the cck pretty strange for

a

vegetarian what are you talking about

you don't eat meat but you sure love a

bone speaking of which who's that new

guy that I keep seeing you with which

one

how many are

there I don't know who you're [ __ ]

talking about so that guy he's always in

the coffee shop he orders like a small

black coffee and nothing else and then

he just sits there and [ __ ] stares at

you for

hours him okay he's nothing and plus he

doesn't just stare at me he talks to me

too sometimes when nobody's around about

what

everything I think he thinks I'm a

therapist or something are you going to

[ __ ] it grow up hell are

you probably pleas don't sound so

excited don't worry about me and my okay

please what sex life oh [ __ ]

guys isn't this Miss Williams house how

the [ __ ] should I

know yeah it is that's her

car oh guys this is perfect we have to

[ __ ] with her wait why um because it's

her dumbass English class and I almost

failed I almost didn't get into college

because of that [ __ ] luckily my awesome

saved my ass you're welcome for that by

the way I okay so what do you want to do

I don't know something

epic you want to put dog sh in BR that's

[ __ ] okay we don't even have a dog

and you are insane you think I'm going

to spend my entire Friday night trying

to find

one you know I kind of wish she hadn't

wrote that essay for you why the [ __ ]

would you say that because then you

wouldn't have gotten into the school and

you wouldn't be leaving me all alone in

this stupid [ __ ] town oh my god

listen to you moping it's not going to

be that bad you're going to be on the

whole other side of the country do you

really think that matters in this day

and age what are you going to talk to me

online all day mhm sure okay so so

you're not going to be out on Friday

nights with your new College friends

you're going to be sitting at home home

talking to me online wow yeah that's

what I'm talking about the whole dynamic

of our friendship is going to

change you're being over dramatic am

I look you're acting like I'm going to

[ __ ] die or something I'm just going

away to school so you'll be bored for a

little while so what you'll get over

just start masturbating more or

something

you [ __ ] looking for a good time no f

[ __ ] way [ __ ] shut the [ __ ] up don't

make me slap the shell you get in the

[ __ ] car let's get the [ __ ] out of

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

here FU oh Mrs Williams how to comeing

yo this is so [ __ ] crazy you guys are

the best though seriously I love you

guys I love you [ __ ] car okay time

for me to have a [ __ ] drink so I'm

going to pull over oh all right so when

did you learn how to jump start a

[ __ ]

car since my brother taught me uh when

before after he got

arrested no while he was in jail don't

be [ __ ]

[ __ ] right

God this is so [ __ ] epic I love it I

told you we going to have fun before we

left I have to admit I can't think of a

better way to be spending our last week

together guys where's that Empty

Bottle [ __ ] this

place why did you just do that because I

I hate the [ __ ] Sky I hate the

[ __ ] trees can't wait to get the [ __ ]

out of here okay I think you need more

to drink yeah

probably dude let's get the [ __ ] out of

here start the

[Music]

car what are you

doing I don't know it won't

start turn the key I am trying to it's

not it's not starting did we run out of

gas or something no we still have half a

tank I don't know what the [ __ ] is WR

guys what's going on hi this is Gary

from Carstar this vehicle has been

reported stolen and the battery has been

disabled please wait 20 minutes for the

police to arrive thank you for your

cooperation guys this is bad holy [ __ ]

guys we need to get the [ __ ] out of here

start the [ __ ] car I can't didn't you

just hear the [ __ ] battery's been

disabled guys we need to leave now and

go where even if we walk somewhere don't

you think the cops noticed three girls

walking around a stolen car you can't

just [ __ ] sit here all night well

where the [ __ ] are we going to go way to

go dumbass stealing a [ __ ] car was a

great idea this is so [ __ ]

up guys Caitlyn call Caitlyn she lives

around here she can come pick us

up I can't get through me

neither well now what I can't go to jail

no [ __ ] none of us can we've got to get

the [ __ ] out of here all right all right

would you guys just Cal the [ __ ] down

and help me think of

something wait a minute guys guys

look so what there's a light on like

someone's still awake I don't [ __ ]

know maybe we can hide out there for the

night don't be [ __ ] stupid they

probably saw us no shut the [ __ ] up

she's right we can hide out there for

the night then what then in the morning

we can hitch a ride back into town and

pretend none of this [ __ ] ever happened

wait what if they don't let us in I mean

what are we going to say uh the car we

stole broke down we need a place to stay

for the night okay I don't know what

we're going to say but we've got to get

out of here before the cops get here

let's gather up our [ __ ] we've got to

go so [ __ ]

sketchy it's either this or get arrested

all right but what if they don't let us

in

Rebecca you know

what if it comes down to it we'll

[ __ ] make them let us Jesus where the

[ __ ] did you get that from your brother

seriously did you [ __ ] him yeah Chelsea

I did I'll tell you about it later if

you want put the [ __ ] knife away are

you [ __ ]

[ __ ] so blow them don't [ __ ] stab

them what the

[ __ ] do we have

everything yeah I think so like what's

the plan I don't know you know what we

can just tell them that our car broke

down that's it what if they want to call

us a [ __ ] tow truck I mean we can

just say that we already tried and that

we couldn't get one until the morning or

something

I guess that works whatever just

remember guys all we have to do is look

helpless

okay let's go

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

maybe there's no one home

yes

um sorry this is uh this is going to

seem super random but um our car broke

down up the road a little way and uh we

weren't able to um we weren't able to

get a tow truck until the morning so we

were wondering if maybe we could spend

the night here what yeah we uh tried

calling a tow truck but they said they

couldn't get here till the morning so

yeah and it's pretty cold outside for us

to sleep in our car and we saw your

lights on and just figured maybe we

could come yeah okay uh why don't why

don't you three come

inside big seek make yourselves at

home thank you so much for letting us in

it's not a problem would you like some

jerky

okay

so

uh what's going

on our car broke down we think it's the

battery okay and the the tow track can't

come until the morning yeah that's what

they said well uh I don't really have a

lot of room for

guests uh I I guess you could sleep on

this couch and the the chair if you want

uh my name's Doug

that'd be amazing thank you um Rebecca

this is Chelsea and that is Ashley nice

to meet you uh yeah guess I could scr

together some some blankets and pillows

thank you so much for everything and

this beef jerky it's delicious oh you

like it I made it myself really I didn't

know you can make beef jerky at

home certainly can uh yeah uh I've got a

Smoke House in the back it's for

flavoring and everything are you like a

chef or something that is exactly right

seriously that is so cool yeah you ever

been to Natural Earth is that in the

city yes exactly I am the head

chef isn't that all like organic and

healthy

[ __ ] yeah yeah that's one way of putting

it how did you get that job uh lots of

schooling where did you go I actually

went to a school in France

you want to learn about food France

that's a place to

[Music]

go if any of you are here to learn to

make

food get

out get out any idiots can make food

you the

Masterpiece I had this one teacher Chef

larus he loved food more than anything

else in the world and he was not afraid

to show

it what is this [ __ ] is he considers

this food where you come

from I I did not even need to put this

name to my lips to know that it's

offensive to my tongue

there are two ways to make chickens the

right way and the wrong way and

obviously you were sure see the wrong

way because you're an American don't

expect you to know how to cook he was a

very harsh critic but it was for the

best he wanted to make us better cooks

and it worked I think that's where my

real passion for cooking came from I'd

always liked food and all but larus Made

Me Love cook

cooking for some reason larus didn't

make it to class on the day of our final

exam it was kind of disappointing for us

you know after all larus was so much

more than just a

teacher let's see how larus train you

all according to his notes it would

appear that lus did not think you have

what it takes to become chef but I will

say this stew smells delicious

yes it is delicious wonder what larus

would say if he could be here now he'd

probably say it tastes familiar it's his

own recipe for garbor but I have had

larus garbor before and this is fast

Superior yes magnific delicious yes

students you must come come you must all

try this to it's all in how you prepare

the meat everybody yes yes a true Chef

never Reveals His

secrets so did lus get to try your

cookie

no I'm afraid

not he died shortly after I left

school yeah it was sad so if you went to

school in France what are you doing

living

here

um I

I uh I'm originally from here and then I

so I left school and I came back home

and started cooking so if you're an

organic shf what are you doing eating

beef jerky I thought you guys were all

like vegan and [ __ ] like

that absolutely not there is organic

meat uh it's more about the quality of

what you're eating than than what it is

yeah I work at a restaurant too really

you don't no you don't you work at a

coffee shop we serve food you serve like

bagels and [ __ ] you don't even make it

there it's prepackaged it's so C

okay that's it let me cook for you girls

oh no we've already been such a bother

no it's not a problem at all and and and

I I like getting this random company you

know it's it's weird um besides cooking

is what I get to do

best here sir I insist all

right okay uh just stay right there

it'll just take me a couple of minutes

okay don't go any

[Music]

this is working out I know I'm so happy

you didn't have to use that [ __ ]

knif actually kind of cute I totally

would have blown in for you Becca oh my

God I can see where this is going Ashley

remember we are here to hide out not so

you can find someone to hook up with why

not that'd be a great story to tell the

kids hey kids you know how your father

and I met well one night my friends and

I stole a car and we thought we were

going to have to go the hostage but no

instead I him hostage whatever the [ __ ]

Rebecca was going to do with that knife

now I'm kind of wondering if I'm going

to have to use it to stop you from

raping this guy shut the [ __ ] up

[Applause]

okay

[Music]

[Music]

okay so everything's in the oven now it

only be a couple minutes before it's

ready you really don't have to go

through all this trouble for us it's not

a problem at all what did you take a

class in Hospitality too that's exactly

right well since you're being nice

enough to share with us we might as well

share with you care for a drink oh thank

you okay uh a toast

to unexpected

company and what I hope will be a

delicious meal so uh now that you know

my story what's

yours we're college students well we

will be so you'll be far from home

that's exactly the

point you're all going to the same

school I'm not going not going to

college nope just

working at the coffee shop yeah until I

find something better

okay and uh the two of you do do you

know what you're going to be

studying not yet same here still on

declared well good luck to you both and

going away to school for the first time

is such an amazing

adventure Ashley don't you worry about

not going okay I think something Good's

going to turn up for you these things

just have a way of coming together

thanks okay I'm going to go check on the

food

I cannot [ __ ] believe this guy I know

you think he's up to something I know I

who does that who invites three complete

strangers back to their house in the

middle of the night and then cooks for

them I don't know he's a chef chefs are

weird what the [ __ ] is your problem I

really have to

pee why did you say something

I don't know everyone was talking I

didn't want to interrupt but now I

really have to go go find a bedroom not

just going to Snoop around when he gets

back ask him I'm sure he will mind

starting to think nothing bothers this

guy yeah definitely seems like that is

this that weird yeah but as long as we

don't get arrested tonight I really

don't give a

[ __ ] okay

wow this

looks thank you it is a venison topped

with duck fat uh aoli we've got some

wild rice on the side some French cut

green beans and a farmers market

vegetable me there's no way you just

made all of this guilty is charged uh

these are just some leftovers but I did

throw it in the oven and add some SP

I hope it tastes all right well it looks

delicious um sorry is there any way I

can use a bathroom before start uh

certainly uh let me show you where it

is Happ

te she little my own

Sagittarian proba help and the chef

never needs to know

thanks wow this place is nice thank you

you can afford all this on a chef's

salary mostly I do do some things on the

side yeah like

what what was that who cares are you

tasting this food yeah it's [ __ ]

amazing dude it is a shame you don't eat

meat this is amazing I don't think I've

ever tasted anything like it before

well that may be but I'm sing Myan what

would it take for you to eat meat are we

seriously going there yes because you

have to try this now what would it

take okay I'll tell you if I was

stranded on a deserted island and there

was just me and a cow and there was

nothing else to

eat then I'd be having ham pretty

extreme well what's

wrong I don't know I I just got really

like woozy probably because of how fast

you've been eating take a [ __ ] breath

no it isn't that then you're

drunk it's probably the

conium it's also known as poison hemlock

and it is very

poisonous it affects the nervous system

you see that that dizziness that you're

feeling right now why are you saying

that because

it's in your

food it's actually a very tricky plant

to work with see too much of it and it's

deadly luckily I found a place online

that instructs on how to give just the

right amount it shouldn't kill you but

it should be enough to cause a temporary

paralysis Rebecca get out come on we

have to go now oh she's not going

anywhere for a while neither are you

[ __ ] you Rebecca come on where's Chelsea

she is a little tied up at the moment

see poison hemlock is what was used to

kill Socrates was also part of my

seasoning on the

meat had I known you were a

vegetarian I would have put it on the

wild rice as well I guess that's a good

blessing for next time

[ __ ] vegetarians

[Applause]

[Music]

what's going on good you're

way [ __ ] are you doing what's it look

like your friend I do some things on the

side this is what I

do robbing

us for now how much you think you're

going to really get from three girls

that just graduated high school every

little bit counts

right what are you going to do to us I

really wouldn't worry about that just

yet

Rebecca Rebecca what's wrong with you

wake

up come on we have to get out of here

let's go wake the [ __ ] up she is

awake how come she's not moving what did

you do to

her I already told you forg gotten

already

oh oh well I guess I hit you pretty hard

so it's okay that

happens

well she has been

poisoned you [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] don't

worry she's not going to

die from that

what the [ __ ] are you doing just some

basic prep

work what the [ __ ] are you talking

about

see [ __ ] that [ __ ] let us go where's

Chelsea the last thing that you need to

be worried about right now is what your

friend is doing oh will you get your

[ __ ] hands off or I'm going to

[ __ ] kill you what a beautiful

specimen so help me God if you [ __ ]

Raper I will cut your dick off and shove

it down your goddamn throat wa is sex

all you girls think about these

days J what do you think your [ __ ]

are made of gold or

something what are you doing

then

you have a one track mind and need to

think outside the box see my desires are

not of the

flesh my

desires perect palet

you're

insane

[Music]

no I just have very particular

tastes so what you're going to torture

us and eat us

who's who's being

tortured did did did you forget about

the

hemlock your your friend she's she's not

being

tortured can't feel a thing [ __ ] you she

can hear everything you're saying just

because she can't scream doesn't mean

she's not being tortured let's not split

hairs why don't you just [ __ ] kill

her first

that is an excellent

question I'm really glad you

asked uh oh this is

exciting you see uh when a person

experiences

fear their brain produces a number of

chemicals now these chemicals create a

certain physiological reaction

um the heart beats faster the muscles

they they

tighten you

sweat I me I really don't have to EXP

explain it all of you because it's

pretty much what you're going through

right now uh but all of these things

have a direct impact on how the meat

tastes and believe

me nothing tastes better than meat

that's been properly marinated in its

own fear what the [ __ ] are you talking

about you can't actually taste fear

[Laughter]

the only problem is that these chemicals

do have a tendency to tighten the

muscles and as any good cook will tell

you tender meat truly is the Hallmark of

any Savory

meal will you [ __ ] stop it she's not

aie meat she's my

friend stop

it stop it look I have to tenderize the

meat okay there's nothing worse than

going through all this work you cat the

meat you cook cook the meat it ends up

tough and hard to chill why are you

doing this you know I really thought

that you would be more understanding of

someone else's food choices being a

vegetarian and all

um okay um I'm actually not that

different from you you see you see I

used to be a vegetarian too so I know

that you can appreciate going to certain

extremes to get the proper nutrients

you're [ __ ] sick you need help

this is that normal let me

go let's be honest about this what I'm

doing has been a widely practiced custom

tens thousands of years and it only

became within the last few hundred that

people suddenly started calling it taboo

isn't taboo you [ __ ] crazy piece of

[ __ ] it's

disgusting it's just playing wrong okay

disgusting

let's see what would be better eating a

cow that's been kept in a cage for its

whole life being pumped full of God

knows what before it gets its head caved

in some one says you have to eat that I

don't no none of your the veggie holier

than now

propaganda all you do is you criticize

and you judge other people's arbitrary

food choices but you you do nothing for

good nothing for change what the [ __ ]

are you are you talking about look at

the world we've got people in one corner

who are starving to death and in another

corner there's an obesity epidemic we we

don't have enough food on this planet

for how many people there are and the

food that we do have can't be spread

around if we really want sustainability

true sustainability which I know all of

you you vegetarians want and you

treasure so much then this is the only

way this worked for our ancestors

I would love to continue this

conversation but I have something else

that needs tending so excuse

me

um you'll you'll be here

right it's just a joke I know you'll be

here that's why it was a joke

come

on come

on I I can get us out of here I can't

break free come on you have sna out of

it come on

Rebecca can you at least show me that

you're

okay can you do something anything

[Music]

[Music]

how's everything going in

here hope you're pleased with the flavor

I

chose I know that Hickory Barbecue is a

cliche because it's such a traditional

taste I just can't imagine jerky tasting

any other

way what am I

saying you loved the jerky you already

know of course I have to

admit it's kind of sad and thought it

was beef it was actually a hitchhiker I

picked up on my way back from

Burlington please please don't don't

struggle you're just going to sweat out

even more of the

flavor

delicious hang in

he left the knife next to you you need

to

move come on Rebecca you need to move

you just just knock it to the floor and

I can get it with my feet come on fight

it

off come on I can get us out of here you

just need to knock the knife to the

floor come on I'll get his out of

here no I've been thinking in of just

sitting here arguing about the details

of all of this let just show you for

yourself what the [ __ ] are you doing

find it strange that someone like you a

vegetarian of all people would fail to

understand the plate of someone like me

you're a [ __ ]

psychopath let's be honest here my name

is Doug I'm a

cannibal what does that have to do with

me we're not that different a cannibal

and a vegetarian see we both

have unusual diets I don't have to

[ __ ] kill people to eat my [ __ ]

food that may be true but I still need

to get my protein just like you

do let's let that heat up shall we what

are you doing

I I'm teaching you

what are you in the mood for

breasts or

ribs you [ __ ] stop you [ __ ]

psychopath how about

I'm HW

by some Lo

H I

know let's go with an old favorite

drumsticks no no stop it stop

it and now one for

you oh God no more this is [ __ ]

insane oh isn't that cute thought you

all got your tattoos at the same time

huh never been a big fan of tattoos

myself St they tasted funny you're a

[ __ ] monster not a

monster I'm just a hungry

man you're [ __ ] poison is wearing off

come on she can feel it now you don't

have to torture

her

no okay now then the main

course now in addition to all of that

fear stuff I was talking to you about

earlier there are some ingredients that

go into making a delicious meal she's

not a [ __ ] meal she's my friend

you're splitting hairs and you should

really be paying attention to everything

I'm saying it's pretty unusual for a

Master Chef to be giving away all of his

secrets to an audience of

one come on you got enough

right you can let us go we won't say

anything please just let us go let you

go that would be a

waste you know a couple of steaks are

nice but you can't throw away the pig

after just having a couple slices of

bacon I swear to God you better hope I

don't [ __ ] break free or I will [ __ ]

you up okay we'll

see but for

now how do you like your

meat I uh consider me oldfashioned but I

prefer mine rare sometimes medium rare

but uh never well done [ __ ] you that is

so loose

here I am going out of my way to share

my culinary secrets with you and you're

responding with nothing but

hostility is that any way to treat your

house I am not your [ __ ] guest you

have me tied up you're a [ __ ] monster

you're a [ __ ] psychopath

help help help

help don't chus

[Music]

[Music]

can I help you sorry by the night sir

I'm officer avetti this is Officer Deen

we're here to look into a vehicle that's

been reported stolen uh I I didn't

report a stolen vehicle was there

automated call we located the car about

qu mile down the road and we saw your

house and we just wonder if maybe you

saw or heard anything unusual heard

heard or

saw yes anything out of the ordinary

maybe someone roaming around strange

noises things like that no no sorry uh

but i' I have been focused on on my

cooking so

but no you have any identification

sir yeah yeah uh sure I let me just put

this

down you know I need to go into the

kitchen uh do do you want to come

in okay

[Music]

thank you so the really car theves

running around out here according to F

and that abandoned car down the road

yeah you think uh think they might be

dangerous probably not looks to be a joy

ride situation just some Dopey kids

bored and looking for some cheap thrills

here you go thank you uh so just to

clarify you're saying that you haven't

seen or heard anything unusual around

here no no nothing um I have been

focusing on my cooking though I'm trying

out a new recipe so that's really where

my attention's been are you a chef Yes

actually I knew it I was telling my

partner on the way in here to smell from

your house was

delicious well that's probably my Smoke

House see I make my own jerk I suppose

so but whatever you making now smells

just as good maybe even better yeah you

do like to try some no it's it's tough

for me to judge my own Creations it's

like being your own cig well I'd be

delighted that's a mighty fine offer all

right well let's cut you off a couple of

nice pieces

then is anybody else in your

house not that I'm aware of they must be

trying to get in you know I think we

need you to stay in the house right now

what do you want me to do look you go

around the back look I'm sure it's just

a deer or something

let us do our job okay just remain calm

we have everything under control you go

on the back I'll stand here with him

okay I'll uh buz you if I offic this

isn't

necessary are you sure you haven't heard

anything unusual no sounds no people

laughing and talking outside no

nothing you know this one hell of a

staircase you got lead to your front

door yeah yeah it's good workout huh

ask you why you live out here in this

secluded area well I just like my

piece so uh what happens if you actually

catch these car thieves well it depends

on a few things if they teenagers we

probably take them down to the station

and run them through the routine you

know before you call their parents but

ultimately it's up to the car owner if

they want to press charges I'm guessing

not there's no damage done anything like

my partner said it's probably just some

Dopey kids and on a joy ride situation

you

know yeah I'm not seeing anything out

here I must have been a raccoon or

something okay so why don't you bring it

on in I think we've taken up enough of

this nice man's time wait a second

what's going on I see a shack I see

smoke that's my smoke house I've got a

sealed smoko and she's going to ruin the

flavor if she goes in uh that's a no-o

on the shack it's supposed to be smoked

there that's where the flavor comes from

all come on let's call her

tonight well

sir looks like you were right yeah

probably just a raccoon or something but

I still suggest you keep him ear out for

anything just be careful tonight yes I

will absolutely do

that kept it warm for you thank you

you like it

amazing what's your secret well if I

told you I'd have to kill you you know

you can't ask the magician to tell you I

did

trip will there be anything else

officers uh that depends what else you

got I then in reference to sir I think

we all said here are these kids probably

camping out and got a friend to come

pick them up or something still wouldn't

be a bad idea to check your locks before

you go to bed yeah you don't want anyone

breaking in and stealing your recipe

indeed I don't uh I will definitely do

that if if there's nothing else I'd

really like to get back to work oh look

here's my card you hear anything

suspicious give us a call yeah just be

safe you know keep your head about you

that's usually all it takes to boy

trouble that is really good

advice uh let me walk you out have a

good night you too all right take care

you too

now where were

we oh righted

[Music]

oh oh that is

gross [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] yeah that's

going to be your

slice well what do you think how do you

like it I can kill

you that' be an awfully big leap from

car to

M what you say oh that was the police at

the door they were asking about some

people who stole a

car which I have to admit I was really

curious about what brought you three to

my door uh don't worry I didn't tell

them anything police prepare yes they

were theyve left me but I must tell you

they loved your friend let me the [ __ ]

out of here not until you finish your

dinner all

right let's cut a slice here

don't be like

that here comes the

[Music]

airplane fine that's how it's going to

be

eat

it eat

it two eat

it there was that so bad

that is just not a very nice thing to

say usually something like my

compliments to the chef would do more

standard

please please want to go

home I I think we both understand that

that's just not an option

so how about another bite

H you like to hear a little story some

entertainment with your meal

perhaps it's actually quite interesting

because I used to be just like

you are we really going to have to go

through this every time

come on

here that's more like

it now like I was saying I used to be

just like you I was a very particular

eater well was saying I guess I am still

particular

just in a different

way when I got back from school I got

that great job at that restaurant but

all I could think about was replicating

that recipe I had made in school I could

never quite get it right you know at

first I blame myself I figured I

uh had to heat up too high or I didn't

get spices

right I think I knew what it was whole

time I just didn't want to admit it to

myself

[Music]

but I think we both

understand the missing ingredient really

was

and your stomach tells you that only one

thing will fill it and then everything

will be

okay you will never rest until you

satisfy that

crav the first trick was finding people

most people notice when people go

missing so I had to start with people

who might not be missed I'll get you

some water

homeless people were the obvious choice

I knew that might not be PC to say but

it's true

[Music]

[Music]

but now a new problem came up you see

different people they all have different

tastes different flavors which means

that the recipe had to change

[Music]

are you familiar with complimentary

flavors I work at a [ __ ] coffee shop

open m

get the hang of

it see this is where my

expertise really came into

play I was able to figure out just from

looking at a person what their taste

might

be if you're looking for something like

venison something rich and lean for

example you're going to want to match

that with a mature red burgundy or Pino

Noir sometimes it helps if you find

someone who's already marinated

themselves not only are they easier to

bring back home but it keeps the meat

moist and adds lots of

flavor these are people you're talking

about not

recipes six of one half a dozen of the

other you're a killer I I am a

hunter and a

chef I'm an

artist nothing's easy

[ __ ]

you

see this

[ __ ] is why I don't do this in the

kitchen the

kitchen is the chef Sanctuary also for

what I do it helps not to be in a room

that too many windows there was this one

time it was such a close all I had

everything prepared like I usually do

had the meat ready to

[Music]

go but you live and you learn the

kitchen might not be the best place to

uh chop people

up it was about that time I started

making my jerky which if you recall was

a big hit with your friends

hello hello Doug hi this is Officer

denan I was at your home earlier yes uh

I'm sorry to bother you like this but uh

something's been troubling me ever since

I left your house and uh I was wondering

if maybe you could help me out with

something I yeah I sure um what what

seems to be the problem oh oh oh there's

no problem uh I just uh well can I get

that recipe for that meat that you gave

us the taste has been on my lips ever

since I left your house and if I go home

and tell my wife about it and she'll

just kill me if I didn't learn how to

make it myself

yes

uh now I normally I don't like giving up

my secrets I understand that really and

I I thank you so much for doing this I

really appreciate

it yeah yeah yeah no it's not a problem

I'm glad you liked it so much uh the the

first thing that you need to know is

that preparation is

everything do you have a non-stick pan

[Music]

please say you're so with

me come on come on girl we got to get

out of

here please Rebecca come

on say

something yeah yeah

here hurts so much oh God I know I know

I'm going to get this out of here

okay Rebecca he left the knife Next to

You Can you feel

it okay you're so close just a little

bit further back right okay you almost

have it you almost have it come on

all right okay the knife fell right I'm

going to try and reach it with my foot

okay I'm going to try and get it I need

you to stay with me

okay all right

I know you don't but I'm going to get

you out of here okay we're going to get

you to a

hospital and they're going to take care

of

you all right I got it I

just I just need to

okay all right I got it

okay oh oh God okay we're back all

right I'm going to get this out of

here where's I don't know I don't know

okay I don't know you I don't

know fine leave Al okay

all right come on come on Rebecca don't

get off on me now come on let's go let's

get out of

here

I all

right okay all right all right stay here

okay I'm going to I'm going to find

Chelsea and we're going to get out of

here

go okay back me

[Music]

[Music]

all right no no it's not a

problem Oh the meat uh

well can't give you all my secrets now

can I no you're just going to have to

experiment for yourself you'll find the

right

flavor okay yeah no it's really not a

problem you too okay all right good

night good night good

night hey

[Music]

[ __ ] God

God stop

where you

going dinner's getting cold

[ __ ] you

holy [ __ ] remember what are you doing I

I sh save your strength

okay tell you no please tell me later

okay I need you to stay with me I'm

going to call an ambulance and we're

going to be okay no please you don't

have to say anything just try to relax

okay I'm going to get this out of here I

love you

no

no that was

sad I hate it when people have a

personal relationship their food not

food you [ __ ] she was my friend

yeah I liked her

too back the [ __ ] off for what you're

going to Su T me

you've got it don't you what the [ __ ]

are you talking about the taste the

hunger shut the [ __ ] up I'm going to

[ __ ] kill you no you're not not yet

oh no no you still need me need you for

what train you're

insane you think it's easy in a few days

you're not even going to be able to eat

anything

else [ __ ] you I'm nothing like you yeah

yeah you are you just don't know it yet

you killed my friends you [ __ ] piece

of [ __ ] well you know what they say if

you want to make an omelette you got to

crack a few eggs [ __ ]

you it's not that bad it's really not

that bad it's people eating people

people eat people once you get used to

it it's fine they say it's supposed to

give you Powers even but I haven't

really felt

anything it's barbaric

barbaric my flesh is the true food my

blood is the true drink do you know who

said that Jesus Christ John

6:55 you are a [ __ ] psychopath you

know I'm beginning to think that you

were never going to come along on this

journey with me which is a real shame

because I had not been planning on

killing you but you are changing my

mind now I have a problem because I

already have one of your friends in a

smoker and she is going to be more than

enough jerky for a while and your dead

friend in the kitchen here while she's

beening all kinds of cuts but what am I

going to do with you

wait for

me I could chop you up in cubes make you

into stew I can grind you up into

hamburgers or I can kill you everything

i

b

[Applause]

no

hey I know what I'm going to do stop

I'm to let you live for a little

while start right eating with feet so

you can watch yourself get E from the

alive

yeah here you go eat ra I like your

ra that's right going to start by eating

the feet then I'm going to work my way

up your legs hey I'll leave and eat your

puss get off me you sick fck that's

right fight you get the blood pumping

you let it flow I can feel it it's right

look can eat you blood pumping

you're covered in sweat even your

tears you're Bing

yourself get off

me kill my

brother don't

a

[Applause]

so much fun I know this is great

beautiful huh Perfect Day mhm mhm

woo all right living life in the

F going on an adventure with my sweetie

yes all

right W wo what

[ __ ] you got to be kidding

me now what are we going to

do I don't know I gu

see take a look down it I

guess you think you can fix it

no

signal what other option do we have yeah

here

what if no one's

home looks like the lights are

on knock

again oh thank God you're home oh my

goodness um my husband and I um our car

broke down down there and um could we

use your phone we're not getting any

reception at all

why don't you two come inside thank you

so much thank you very much no

[Music]

problem so would you like some jerky

[ __ ] get the [ __ ] my business unless

you just want that business even know

[ __ ] who the [ __ ] can't get a witness

unless you in church cuz some real [ __ ] a

snitching me and [ __ ] ass [ __ ] don't

get like Devil never like Christmas get

it where I get it don't excuses no

apology looking like I'm sh ever no

theology iing only one we nobody

stopping me motivation I'm like I'm Mone

ruing everything around me now about

that got my whole

team like a [ __ ] Stone all that she

got me blown mying on Dr looking for bch

take me home you down like Domino cuz

she want real [ __ ] you li Li

I'm

[Music]

me bur it out [ __ ] in Hustle what I'm

all about get know get bed what they

call it now see me I'm cool my I'm I

stay so tight just I can

Joy get by cuz that's my choice going to

stop till I get that Ro matter what the

fact I make that noise can't hear me

make off me let me the off I'm go get it

I want to spin just make it de feed the

P I want for B living I CH

I

roll was my in said I wouldn't be in

just up another mission B never snit and

me that s and me

that what I like to do make attitude