Original subtitles

Hey, Hatch. Leonard Hatch.

If you're addressing me, sir, the name is Kubla Khan.

Oh, excuse me, Mr Khan, luncheon is served.

In Xanadu did I a stately pleasure-dome decree,

and there, from force of habit,

I only dine with royalty.

Your Majesty, your knights await you.

And my days as well.

Doris Mae!

Shoot straight!

Doris Mae!

Doris Mae! Doris Mae!

What in the world is going on out there?!

Snake, Ma! Biggest diamondback you ever saw!

Oh, Doris Mae! - No, Ma! Don't chop it up, Ma!

Move before I chop your foot off! - But I wanted it for a trophy! No!

Oh, Ma!

Trophy? What do you want to make a trophy out of that for?

It was beautiful.

Ain't nothing beautiful about no snake except the hole you bury him in.

Ohhh, look at that.

That was one of our best hens, Doris Mae.

That's a shame, Doris Mae. I mean, that's just a shame.

Hey! Hey!

"Here's a news bulletin. Patient Leonard Hatch

escaped from Boston's Northfield Mental Hospital early this morning

and is believed to be still in the area. This man could be dangerous."

"Five feet nine, slender build, blue eyes, 35 years of age."

Shot a rattler, Pa. - Clean out the hen house?

No, not yet. I was just about to.

What time that fella bring you back last night?

Oh, about 11. - After doing what?

You know, this and that. - Don't give me none of your this and that.

You sashay outta here in clean jeans smelling like bubblegum to go to movies?

We did go to the movies, Pa. - What movie?

I don't know the name. We didn't get there till after it started.

It was all about this lady who hated this guy. When she went to kill him,

realised she felt sorry for him, and they ended up in a clinch.

I bet you did! - Bet I did what?

Ended up in a clinch. - I'm talking about the movie.

I'm telling you, any boy around here lays a finger on ya, I'll shoot him.

It was Carl Smathers' boy, Hank. - That make him any different?

Smathers owns the general store. - What has Smathers ever done for us

except overcharge us for those grape curtains?

What else did I get for this house in the last 16 years?

I never got the curtains I wanted. - You did too!

I wanted curtains with grape leaves,

not grapes.

What did you do after the movie? - Grapes.

He showed me how to throw his knife.

Then we went down to the river to go fishing. - And he didn't try nothing?

Stop chewing at her. - I ain't raising no tramp.

Just because it's all you went out with before you met me ain't no sign

that all girls are tramps. - I don't remember you giving me much trouble.

Only been with you 10 minutes and you started talking about your appendix being took out.

You can go and wash off in the... hen house.

After you finish with the hen house,

I'll be mending fence over by the cattle guard.

Go into town, get me some wire at Charlie's.

And pick up a bag of peat moss while you're at it.

You think you've got it bad?

I wasn't brought up to live this way.

Think of all the things we would've had if we'd stayed in St Louis.

What would they have been?

Better than living on a dirt farm, I can tell you.

I had my pick of...

...several eligible bachelors.

I ain't gonna worry about that, because I wouldn't have been me.

Hmm? What did you say? - If you married one of them bachelors,

I would've had different genes and chromosomes but I got yours and Pa's

so I'm me and I ain't gonna worry. - Where'd you learn that dirty talk?

You're learning to talk that way from Hank Smathers, aren't you?

Alls he's taught me is how to throw a knife. - Don't sass me, Doris Mae.

Genes...

...chromosomes, they make babies.

Good Lord knows, we don't need no more of them around here.

That's something else I ain't gonna worry about.

Live long and prosper.

- Hey, Harry. - Hi, kiddo.

How you doing? How's business?

Oh, so-so. Making a buck. How is it by you?

Shot me a rattler this morning. - No kidding!

Must've been five or six feet long. Big. - Five or six feet?

Skin like that ought to bring maybe 50, 60 bucks.

You know how to cure it? You nail it to a board, scale side down,

then you rub it with salt. Lots of salt. Rub it in real good.

Get it way down into the skin. Then you take it, lay it out in the sun,

let it dry maybe a week or so.

Hey. Well, I could handle it for ya, only take maybe 5%.

It'll get us a good price from a few passing pale-faces, huh?

- Yeah. But guess what. - What?

My ma chopped it up.

Hey, Harry. I got you that wax.

Hey, DM.

- How's the world treating you? - You know, same as usual.

- She shot a six-foot rattler today! - Oh, really?

You know how to cure it? - I did that bit already!

Only her ma cut up the merchandise. - Oh. Did you keep the rattle?

That I got. Yep. Now, how's that?

Whoa! Look at that.

8, 9... 11, 12!

That's a big mama!

A real beaut.

Keep hold of that. It'll bring you good luck.

And the next time somebody chops up a snake of yours,

give me a holler and I'll come knock some heads together. You got that?

Yeah. Thank you.

Come on! Come on!

- That's all of it there now. - Put your wallet in there, too.

- Come on, come on! - OK. There it is.

Now, take off all your clothes. Your clothes, take'em off.

I don't want you following me down the street when I leave.

Hey, what is this plastic pea-shooter you've got?

It's a killer gun. - That couldn't blow a hole out of a...

Come on, get the money back here and there'll be no trouble.

How have you been? - Alright.

Saw your truck out here. - Yep.

Need a hand with that? - I can manage.

Hey, I had a good time last night.

How about you? - I'm glad you had yourself a good time.

Wanna try throwing the old knife some more?

It's all in the feel, you know.

Once you get the feel of it, you never miss.

It's okay. I ought to be getting home. You know my pa.

Say, I heard you shot yourself a seven-foot rattler this morning.

Christ, all this town has to talk about is some damn snake?

# "Strangers On a Carousel" - Steven Michael Schwartz

# She was young and kind of pretty

# With a look of someone lost

# He was running from the city

# To be free at any cost

# They were like strangers on a carousel

# The world was all outside

# And they were waiting for the starting bell

# To take them on a ride

# He was angry when he caught her

# As she tried to run away

# He grew softer then and taught her

# Things that made her want to stay

# They were like strangers on a carousel

# A frightened boy and girl

# Two lonely strangers on a carousel

# Made giddy by the world #

What's the problem? Run out of gas? - Listen, I ain't that stupid.

Bust my dumb water hose.

You want a lift? - I'm just headed up the road a couple of miles.

Hop in, I'll take you.

You from around here? - No. Just passing through.

Yeah. That's what most people do. Just pass through.

Can't say I blame them. Not much to stop for.

You don't sound too happy with your surroundings.

I can think of better places. - Such as?

- St Louis. - Why St Louis?

Oh... I dunno.

- Still in school? - Got kicked out.

- Oh, really? Why? - Punched the teacher.

You could get away from here if you wanted to.

Are you kidding? My pa would shoot me.

- What does your pa do? - Rancher.

Well, at least he was before the foot and mouth.

Now I don't know what you call him except maybe "farmer".

He raises chickens. He's got me doing most of the work anyway.

- That's why he'd shoot me if I took off. - But you'd like to leave, wouldn't you?

What you'd like has got nothin' to do with nothin'.

On the contrary, my lady.

What you like is the beginning of everything.

That's my turn coming up ahead there. Better start slowing down.

Hey, mister! That's my turn back there!

Stop it! Stop it! Stop it, dammit!

Be quiet.

Just sit back and relax. Don't panic.

Ah, ah, ah, ah! If you jump out now, you'll only hurt yourself.

Just relax. Nothing'll happen to you.

What do you mean?! It's happening! - You said you wanted to get away.

Where are you taking me to? - Xanadu!

You're nuts. - Your formal education resumes presently, my lady.

Where Alph, the sacred river runs

through caverns measureless to man down to a sunless sea.

But oh! That deep romantic chasm, a savage place

as holy and enchanted as e'er the waning moon was haunted

by a woman wailing for her demon-lover.

Hey, why don't you just let me out?

Look, I swear I ain't gonna tell nobody. - Anybody.

If you're gonna rape me, why don't you just stop somewhere and do it?

Then you can drop me back on the road and be on your way, OK?

What are you gonna do with me, then?

Relax! You might find it a rewarding experience. - How long's it gonna take?

This rewarding experience? - That, my lady, depends entirely on you.

What's that? - That's Alph, the sacred river.

- Haven't you ever seen a river before? - No.

And I'll bet you've never been in the mountains, either.

I've only seen 'em. - Oh, my lady,

the river is from melted snow from the fountains and the caves,

the sunny pleasure-dome with caves of ice.

What kind of pleasure you got in mind?

I got a right to know what to expect, don't I?

The only pleasure there is, my lady. And it's all in the mind.

Welcome to Xanadu.

How like you this place?

They probably found my pa's truck and are out looking for me now.

Of course they are, but they're not gonna find you up here.

Whoever built this cabin came and went on horseback.

I haven't seen a soul up here. - I bet they use helicopters and everything.

Ah, don't flatter yourself.

- Help! - Wait a minute. Wait.

Would you like some assistance?

Help! Help!

Oh, help! Help!

No, don't go that way. It's booby-trapped.

Are you alright?

Listen to me, young lady. I don't wanna have to keep telling you this,

but any trouble you get into here will be entirely your own fault.

Three more feet, you could've broken your neck.

You said you're not stupid so get up and start proving it.

You sure don't take any chances, do you?

One never knows when one's being followed.

Thought you said no-one's been here in two months.

No-one's been here yet, but you never know when someone might show up.

Why? Someone after you?

They're not loaded, so, er, don't get any ideas.

I was just looking for the toilet. - The what?

Bathroom. You got one, don't you?

Bathroom? Toilet? John?

Comprende? No?

Stay on this path if you leave the cabin. The woods are booby trapped.

I bet! - You know what a booby trap is, don't you?

I said you know what a booby trap is, don't you?

Well, from now on you answer me when I ask you a question!

It was your fault. - Well, whose fault is it the truck broke down?

All kinds of peculiar people around here are all after the same thing.

You ask me, she was asking for it. - Asking for it? The truck broke down!

She was probably afraid to come home knowing what you'd do to her.

Now it's my fault? - I didn't say it was your fault.

Well, what did you say?

The girl's got to have some kind of life besides chores and cleaning...

Been listening to that all the way? - Yeah. When did you see DM leave?

About a half hour after we talked. - Alone?

Yeah! Going like a bat.

- Was anybody following her? - No.

Where do you think she is?

- What's going on in there? - What do you think?

Come on! I didn't say you could stay in there all day. Let's go.

Hey. Close the door.

You sure don't believe in privacy, do you?

Let's go, let's go, let's go. You know who that is?

No. - Steve McQueen!

Come on. Let's get this show on the road.

Look, Sam, this ain't gonna be no roadshow.

I got an APB all over the county and the state,

and a lot of questions to ask here in town,

so take that thing home before somebody gets hurt.

How's your cooking? - My what?

Your cooking. You can cook, can't you?

Of course I can cook. - Good, then, my lady.

Will thou avail thyself here and prepare something?

Oh, what would you like? I've got peanut butter, apple sauce, jelly -

Don't mock me! Invent something! Have you no imagination?

Imagination turns food into cuisine,

and tonight you're entertaining royalty.

This night, my lady, you are dining with the rajah of Sarawak.

- Who? - The maharini of Acushpihar.

The emir of Iman.

And the Lion of Judah.

- You ever been to any of them places? - Those.

"Them" is not an adjective. It's the dative case of "they".

Ever been to any of those places? - Course! I know them all - and more.

I know the world, the stars, the tide.

I know the wind and the rain, the snow and the sleet.

I know what makes the crocodile weep and the leopard change its spots.

I know the bank whereon wild thyme blows,

where oxlips and the nodding violet grows

quite over-canopied with luscious woodbine,

sweet musk roses and eglantine.

And I know you're not listening to me.

It's cos I don't understand you. - Because you're not listening to me!

The rajah of Sarawak is ready to dine.

You may be seated.

I ain't hungry.

Please, miss, the rajah never dines alone.

Bon appetit.

Thank you, Bertie.

Dig in.

Not bad.

It's not bad at all. In fact, it's quite excellent. Won't you join me?

You know...

There's nothing more lonely than the feeling you're talking to a blank wall.

There's nothing more awful than being yelled at all of a sudden.

Quid pro quo.

I shall try to control my temper.

I will try to listen better.

What is your name, please?

Doris Mae Withers.

Doris... Mae... Withers.

- Do you like it? - Ain't thought about it much.

Henceforth you shall be known as...

...Christabel.

Who? - Christabel.

A little child, a limber elf,

singing, dancing, to itself,

a fairy thing with red round cheeks,

that always finds, but never seeks.

You sure know a lot of poetry.

Poetry, my lady, is the escape of genius.

Well, you gotta admit it sounds kinda funny sometimes.

Stuff like wailing moons, crocodiles and flowers, dancing fairies,

crazy stuff like that. - So you were listening!

But you don't understand. No, of course not.

I think this is gonna take a little time.

What is? How long are you gonna keep me up here?

Are you really in such a hurry to get back to your chickens?

What's so hot about this place?

Do you have a boyfriend? - Ha!

What kind of answer is "ha"? - Me, with a boyfriend?

What if I did? What difference does that make?

What are you gonna do with me, anyway? Some crazy experiment?

I'm still waiting for an answer. - What was the question?

Do you have a boyfriend? - No!

I don't know what people get so steamed up about anyway.

About what?

About boyfriends, dating, going all the way.

Sex.

Congratulations, my lady.

That's the first intelligent thing I've heard you say.

What did I say?

The subject was the unimportance of sex.

I didn't say it weren't important.

I said I don't know why people make it important.

Wasn't, not weren't. Sex is singular. But your point is well taken.

There may be hope for you yet, Christabel.

What happens now?

We're going to bed.

I gotta go to the bathroom. - You just went!

No, I didn't. I was scared and had to have me a think.

If you lied before, how do I know you're not lying now?

How do I know you won't try to escape? - Where am I supposed to go?

Stay on the path, Diogenes.

Remember, the woods are all booby trapped.

Christabel!

Where are you?

Christabel!

Are you praying by the old oak tree

amid the jagged shadows of mossy, leafless boughs,

kneeling in the moonlight to make your gentle vow?

Christabel!

Christabel!

Get on your feet. - I can't. I hurt my foot.

You're lucky you're alive. Stand up! - You really are crazy.

Don't you ever say that to me again. Is that clear?

I warned you about the traps, but you wouldn't listen, would you?

Some sheriff. Now they're watching the late news over at the pool hall.

Eat your supper, Sam.

How do you expect me to eat that?

You always manage to fill your face when she's shoved it in front of ya.

Yeah, well, she makes it better. - Who do you think taught her?

Oh, you taught her, alright. Taught her to run off, most likely.

Filling her head with fancy notions. - Now you're blaming me?

Did you ever stop to think she might have got into trouble right here?

What do you mean?

Something she said on her way out. - Well, what did she say?

Something about babies.

About not having no... babies around here.

Ohh! You taught her real good!

Taught her about fretting and begetting

and now she's gone and done it and you let her go!

I let her nothing!

You were the one who sent her into town after fence wiring!

All she meant to you was a bunch of cooking and cleaning the hen house!

That sheriff, you tell him I'm out rounding up some real help

from Mike and Robbie.

You know, I sure don't get you.

A little while ago, you wouldn't have cared if you'd killed me.

Now you're tending me like a baby. Whose side are you on anyway?

I never said I wanted to kill you.

This is my castle, and those booby traps are my moat.

You sure talk like someone's after you. I bet you done something.

Did, not done. But anyway, such as?

Well, maybe I'm not the first girl you've had up here.

Young lady, when I first saw you, I thought you were a boy.

Well, now I get it. - Get what?

You're, er...

What?

A shrewd and knavish sprite, that merry wanderer of the night

called Robin Goodfellow? - Stop it!

There you go, talking funny again.

I just don't get you.

Sitting up here in a shack in the mountains,

reading your poetry, afraid of somebody sneaking up on you.

W- What's going on?

The most exciting adventure of your life, Christabel. - Stop calling me that.

You're beginning to use your mind. - The hell I am. I'm just sitting here

with a busted ankle. - Sprained ankle.

Locked in. - They're starting to open.

What about the booby traps? - I know.

I explained that. Now, listen to me, please.

Do you know what the mind is?

Well, I suppose it's the brain.

A fish has a brain. But does it have a mind?

Do you think a fish can reason or judge a good book from a bad one?

I ain't that dumb. I know fish can't read. - No, of course not.

A fish is nothing but a mass of reflexes, right? - What about a porpoise?

I saw a movie where they taught a porpoise to jump through hoops.

A porpoise isn't a fish, it's a mammal. - It has a mind?

No, dear, I'm talking about the mind of man.

That which sets him above all other creatures. His ability to reason,

to judge, to appreciate. And the capacity of the human mind

is limited only by the determination of its owner to improve it.

Do you follow? - I still think a porpoise has a brain

if it can jump through a hoop.

Can a porpoise split the atom, fly to the moon, build a cathedral?

No, of course not! But man can because he has a mind.

And so, my lady, do you. - I don't care about doing that kind of stuff.

Well, alright, but there are things you do wanna do.

You wanted to leave home today. You told me so with exquisite simplicity,

"I can think of better places." - Half the folks in the country say that.

Yes, and that's where their minds stopped.

But, you, my lady, you can be anything you want to be.

Like what?

Anything at all! You name it. - Come on...

No, go on! Try it. Just once. Who would you like to be?

The queen of England. - Your Majesty,

I am Sir Francis Drake, your servant,

at your command. Whisper your most private passion,

your most trifling whim, and it shall be satisfied.

Good Queen Bess, I prithee, use me at thy will.

Ah! You see? You see what happens when you want something?

It just gives me the creeps.

I like you better when you talk like a normal person.

So you admit you do like me? - I didn't mean it that way.

- So you don't like me? - I just think you're kind of weird.

Really? - Yeah.

Well, perhaps I'm going too fast for you.

What to do, what to do. Don't go away.

I think that... Ah! I'll put me tinkin' cap on.

Aye, it works every time.

Tell, me lass, if you could have any wish in the world,

anything at all, right now, what would it be?

I'd like to be home in my own bed. - Ah! Are you telling me now

that you'd like to spend the rest of your life tending chickens?

Well, you didn't ask me that... yes.

Yes? You'd like to spend the rest of your life tending chickens?

- I don't believe you. - I don't care.

- Course you do. - No, I don't.

What is it, now? - What would your wish be?

No, no. I asked you first.

Oh, I don't know. A movie star. - A movie star! And why?

Because they just make lots of money and don't do any work.

They just sit around and look good. Now, what would your wish be?

I told you mine. - Nah...

Yes! Now, I told you mine, so you gotta tell me yours.

Come on! You're not playing fair.

I'm not, am I? Well, would you really like to know?

I'd like to...

...leave something behind when I go.

Something grand, beautiful.

Something people would remember me by.

Might even be you.

Excuse me.

If you're looking for the shells, I keep 'em in a pot here by the jars.

You didn't use your head! You didn't follow through!

You barred the door and you left the window open!

No. I don't think you wanna see either one of us get hurt.

I admire you for trying - you wanted something enough to try for it.

I'll admire you more when you accept the inevitable.

What's the inevitable?

It's what's gonna happen to you now whether you like it or not!

No! Please don't tie my hands up! I can't stand having my hands tied!

Please! I'll do anything you want! I'll even try to be inevitable.

You can call me Christabel. Please!

Well, alright, Christabel.

But one more stunt outta you like that,

and I'm hog-tying you to that table the rest of the week.

Is that clear?

Now, who was that? - John Wayne?

Right.

Good night.

Until it be morrow.

Aren't you gonna try anything? - Try what?

Well, you know, S-E-X.

I thought we dispensed with that topic.

Well, what do you think people get so steamed up about?

Because they don't use their heads. It's merely a biological function

common to all animals. - And porpoises?

They get steamed up about it, too?

I would imagine they tend to put it in a better perspective.

Perspective? What's that?

That means they're more relaxed about it. Now, go to bed.

Then, they're smarter than people. - I didn't say that.

You don't have to be smart to be relaxed. Now, go to sleep.

Boy, Hank Smathers is smart, but he sure ain't relaxed.

So, you do have a boyfriend! - He's not my boyfriend.

Just a guy that taught me how to throw a knife.

And, er,

what is it he isn't relaxed about? - Oh, I dunno...

Sometimes I get the feeling that there's lots that I don't know.

Maybe I am kinda stupid.

Oh, no, you're not. - I'm not?

No, Christabel.

You have a very fine mind.

I do? - Yes, you do.

Go to sleep.

Good night.

I'm sorry.

Quite a tidier, aren't you?

I might as well fix this place up. It looks like a hen house.

Had a wife once. She was a tidier.

Where is she now? - Dead. I killed her.

And how did you do that? - Ah, you're curious, aren't you?

Well, who wouldn't be about that? Maybe that's what you did -

you buried her up there and those booby traps are a bunch of graves!

I killed her up here, in my mind. - Then, she's not really dead?

She's dead as far as I'm concerned. - What were you burying up there?

I was reparing the trap you broke during your attempted escape!

Ya always talk with your mouth full. We could use a few more things,

like maybe a broom, a dustpan, some soap.

Make a list. - You mean you'll get the stuff?

Within reason, and kindly stop calling everything "stuff".

How about some towels and shelves? Curtains would be nice.

What about wall-to-wall carpeting, an electric dish washer, colour TV?

I ain't that dumb. I can see there ain't no electricity.

"Isn't" any electricity.

How about some good food instead of this crummy stuff?

Oh, and what would she like?! - Hot dogs, potato salad,

apples, milk, French fries and some Ortiz hot chilli peppers.

Just how does she propose we keep it from spoiling?

We could put the stuff that spoils in a bag and put it in the river,

can't we?

Put this on your head. It'll make you dizzy, but make them go away.

- Get away from me! - Put this on.

Give me that!

Do you want me to do it or do you want to do it...

- Stay right there!

Put the sack on your head and breathe in deeply.

It'll make them go away.

It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever... I put this on and breathe?

Just put it on and breathe. - It won't make me pass out?

- No. Come on. - I've got my eye on you.

I put it on my head and breathe deeply. Get over there!

That's it. Just keep breathing deeply.

Bang, bang! You're dead!

Why did you do that? - Well, I got rid of your hiccups, didn't I?

Hey, anything new? - No.

I got customers, I'll see you later.

Alright, Harry. Take it easy.

And all should cry, 'Beware! Beware!'

'His flashing eyes, his floating hair'

Weave a circle round him thrice, And close your eyes with holy dread,

For he on honey-dew hath fed, And drunk the milk of Paradise.

- You read real good. - Thank you.

That guy sounds like you.

- What else? - I've been thinking...

Some curtains would really cheer this cabin up.

Some what? - Some curtains.

Curtains? Any particular kind, My Lady?

There's these white brocade ones with grape leaves

and it's got a fine gold thread. They're really nice!

And where can I acquire them? The Kasbah?

No, the dry-goods store in town.

It's a common pattern. It kinds reminds me of home.

Anything else to make you feel at home, My Lady?

A bed wouldn't be a bad idea. - A bed?

A bed?! How about a hand-carved four poster?

Or better still, mademoiselle, how about a canopy divan

with a nubian slave to fan you and feed you chocolates from the mouth?

I didn't ask to be here. I'm not even asking you for your mattress.

I'm just trying to make the best of things. An army cot will be fine.

Good, My Lady! Now you're beginning to use your mind. What else?

A toothbrush. - Toothbrush.

A change of clothes. - Change of clothes.

Hairbrush. - Hairbrush.

Maybe a dress.

What? - A dress.

You think you're pretty clever, don't you?

Sending me into town where a girl is missing to buy a dress.

Stand up, put your hands behind you back. - Why?

Because I said so! - I thought we agreed.

That was last night. It's two hours to town.

I promised!

How can you be nice and so mean?! - I'm going to get things for you.

At least I know you'll be safe while I'm gone.

If I'm such a bother, why don't you just drop me home on the way?

That's what all my boyfriends do!

I was just kidding.

I was wondering if you could leave the door open so I could look out.

It helps me use my mind.

Alright.

Oh, by the way, the weapons are of no use.

I have all the shells with me.

Au revoir.

Pow! Pow!

"65 Fort William, Lincoln Adam, 19035."

So now the sheriff's looking for federal.

And bird-dogging his tail everywhere he goes.

He even threatened to throw Sam Withers in jail.

I don't blame him if he did. Withers come to my place drunk, with a shotgun

saying I done it.

Thank you, sir. What's all the commotion?

A girl got kidnapped. - No kidding.

They found her pick-up yesterday and no-one has seen her since.

It doesn't necessarily mean she's been kidnapped.

I mean did anyone actually see her being abducted?

No.

Some folks think she run off, but I don't think so.

Was she pretty?

Muy bonita.

I think she was about 17.

I think. You know, average. Not too tall.

Hey, amigo, what colour's her hair? - You know, it's dark.

She always wore a hat. - Dresses like a boy.

She's got a Stetson and jeans and cowboy boots, you know?

Now wait a minute, you know, I may have seen this little girl yesterday.

When yesterday?

Around noon, just outside of town here.

Little girl dressed like a cowboy, sitting in the back of a limousine.

It's possible it could be she. - You better tell Jeff.

Jeff's gonna wanna know. - Wait a minute. Who's Jeff?

He's the sheriff and he has been going out of his gourd looking for her.

Oh. I've got a long drive back home. You fellas can tell him for me.

Mister, please!

You saw her. You tell him.

What kind of car?

I don't know much about cars, but it looked like a long, black limousine.

See the plates? - Sorry again. I didn't.

Was there anybody else in the car? - You mean besides the driver?

Now that you mention it, I think there was a guy in the back seat.

What side was the girl on? - The left. She was on the left.

Did it look like she was forced? - No, not at all. She just sat staring.

Scrunched down a little like maybe she was trying to hide.

- Where were you? - I was just...

four or five miles out of town heading in...

and we crossed. They were heading toward Albuquerque.

What's your name? - Me?

Roger B McDivitt, sir.

What's the "B" stand for, Rog? - Bananas.

I'm only kidding! Bernard.

Where do you live? - Just off the main road toward Albuquerque.

What's your business? - I beg your pardon?

What kind of work do you do? - What do I do for a living?

Farming a little. Some welding. I'm a welder by trade.

I've never heard your name. - There's no reason you should.

I'm in the other county and I've only been around a few months.

Want some coffee? - No, thanks, sir.

What were you doing in town yesterday?

I just came in to do some shopping and have a few beers.

Why give me the third degree? - Sounds like that, eh?

Yes. - I'm sorry.

I've been up all night, racking my brain to put this together.

It's alright. I understand. - I appreciate your help, Mr McDivitt.

You got a phone out there?

No, I'm afraid not. Why? - Just in case there's something I forgot to ask.

I'll tell you what.

If there is, I'll leave a message with Harry Fox at the garage.

The Indian fellow? - Yeah.

Fair enough. - Thank you very much for your help.

Keep smiling. - I shall.

Get me Albuquerque.

Excuse me, sir. Do you have any Ortiz hot chilli peppers?

- Why do you want Ortiz? - Cos I like 'em.

It's a special brand. Not many people ask for them.

You want me to order you some? - Na, it's alright. Thank you.

I can order them. - No, it's alright.

No trouble.

And, er, all of these, as well.

Oh, and I'd like one more shirt just like this one

only in a size smaller for my little brother.

How much smaller? - Er...

I guess about your size.

Oh, and the cook would like a toothbrush, hairbrush...

...and a dress. - Shopping for the whole family?

I'm sorry, what?

You doing the shopping for the whole family?

Yes, ma'am.

What size dress?

Size? Er...

12? - Don't ask me. Any particular colour?

Yeah, this one. Is this for sale?

You wanna buy that dress for a cook? - If it's alright with you.

Crazy.

I never heard a man buying women's clothes before.

Psst! Hey.

There are no women. The cook just likes to dress up like one.

McDivitt, right? - Right.

Sheriff was looking for you. - Why?

Well, he wanted to thank you. They found that guy.

What guy? - You know, the one that kidnapped the girl.

Oh, really? - Yeah, down in Albuquerque.

They traced her through that car you spotted.

He took her to some motel down there. Turned out to be a sickie.

- You just never know. - No, you never know.

Jeff the sheriff ought to be halfway to Albuquerque to pick him up.

When he gets back, tell him any help I gave was my pleasure.

Yeah, sure. - Bye-bye.

Live long and prosper, man.

I shall. See you later now.

Hail to thee, blithe spirit! Prepare ye the return of the native.

Hi.

Hey, you look like Santa Claus.

Good King Wenceslas himself. The Emperor Of Ice Cream.

Give me a hand with this. - What?

Now to my charge. For my lady's sweet slumber,

one genuine canvas cot with enclosed pillow.

And as my lady is a tidier of some note, one bona fide broom.

Contained herein is toothbrush, hairbrush, towels, comb,

various other sundries to engage thy vanity.

Here we have sartorial splendour for obvious use.

Contained in yon box is much food to thy fancy.

Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

Oh, you really got the works!

Where did you get the money for this? - A modest inheritance.

But now what shall she wear to the ball?

Come, let us conjure an appropriate garb.

Oh!

Oh, it's beautiful!

Where's the axe?

I suppose you're mad at me for not staying put?

I knew you'd untangle yourself. - You think you know everything?

Where's the axe?! - I suppose you'll be wanting this back?

You were gonna stand behind the door and cleave me in two, weren't you?

Did I?!

Are denying you planned it?! - Planning ain't the same as doing!

Morally, it's exactly the same! - If they passed a law like that,

half the world would go to jail! - How could you think of killing me?

Figures, don't it? - "Doesn't it?"

- You almost killed me. - I did nothing of the sort!

- Neither did I. - Neither did you!

I mean...

What made you change your mind?

I don't know. Supposing I'd swung and missed?

You think it'll fit?

There's only one way to find out.

- Don't close the door. - A lady's entitled to her privacy.

Well?

"Well", indeed.

You look like a different person.

Oh, I am. I'm the Queen of England! I'm a movie star!

- I'm Chris... - Say it.

I'm Christabel.

We have never eaten this good at home.

All we need now are some cigars and brandy.

Emilio, por favor.

- Hot dog! - Emilio, una hot doge!

What were you like as a boy?

As a boy?

I was quite unbearable, I'm sure.

But what did your friends think of you?

Friends? Er, I didn't have many friends.

In actual fact, I didn't have any at all.

How come?

Because...

Because my mother never...

Come on, I'm sure you wouldn't be captivated with a story of my youth.

Yes, I would. - Well, I wouldn't!

Hey. Do you want some dessert?

Stay me with flagons, comfort me with apples.

Many a dangerous temptations come to us in fine, gay colours.

The frivolous fruit that first tempted Adam.

Suit yourself.

Hey, are you OK?

Yeah. I'm sorry.

I guess you must think I'm quite a banana at times, huh?

A little. Sometimes.

At first, I thought you were really nuts,

just like you thought I was stupid.

But we're not, not really.

I'll race you.

No, no! No!

No!

Pretty.

Where else have you been?

Oh...

Panama, Australia, New Zealand, Japan.

What's that like? - Where, Japan?

Oh, it's like no place else you've ever seen.

By boat, you come into the Inland Sea

and the land rises straight out of the water.

The mountains are tall and craggy,

and all the trees, they seem to grow sideways,

and everything, absolutely everything, looks lacy.

Mmm...

I've never been anywhere but the dentist in Albuquerque.

Where else you been? - Oh...

The Caribbean. - The Caribbean?

Yes.

There, too, it's extraordinary.

Sometimes at night it's so calm, the sea I mean.

The stars are reflected right down into the wake of the ship.

The horizon disappears

and you seem to be drifting through a huge bowl of stars.

And the phosphorescence...

...is like cold fire.

What's "phospherence"? - Phosphorescence.

Ocean fireflies.

Hey. Are you OK?

Yes.

I don't know... Something happened.

I just... - I know.

Me, too.

I like talking to you in the dark.

Tell me something else.

What? - Well, I don't know. Anything.

Tomorrow.

Will you at least tell me one thing? - What?

What's your name? - What difference does it make?

So I can call you something besides "Hey".

Kubla Khan. - No, I mean your real name.

That is my real name, Christabel.

For me?

Thank you.

Doris Mae...

I saw you taking a bath.

- I know. - I mean I was watching you.

I just thought I should tell you so you wouldn't think of me as a voyeur.

I don't even know what a voyeur is.

You know something?

You could use a bath, too. N'est pas?

"Tyger! Tyger! Burning bright In the forests of the night,

"What immortal hand or eye Could frame thy fearful..."

"Sime-a-try?" - Again.

"Sime-a-tree." - Symmetry.

Oh! What's that? - Symmetry.

That's a perfect balance between two sides of the same thing.

Example, the stripes on the back of a tiger, wings of a butterfly,

the two sides of your face. Symmetry is beauty of proportion.

Can you think of an example? - The diamond-back rattler I shot.

Uh-huh. - That was sure beauty.

Ah, I kept the rattle.

I keep it with me all the time. It's supposed to bring me good look.

Has it brought you good luck? - I don't know yet. But it sure is beautiful.

Forgot something. - But of course! Ze gabarge.

Gabarge! - Merci.

Ain't you gonna hog-tie me today? - Ain't you gonna give me a reason to?

Got the list? I thought of something else.

What's that? - We could have a garden, grow our own vegetables.

Soil's good. We could even have cows and chickens.

Cows? - Yeah.

How many of them do you think I can get in here?

We could have some goats. I even found a place we can go ice skating.

OK.

I'll see what I can do about a couple of goats and some ice skates.

How'd that be? - OK.

Anything's possible if you just think it through.

Good luck. Have fun.

I shall in all my best obey you, ma'am.

Adieu.

Hi, how are you doing? - Hey, McDivitt.

Fill her up for me? - Sure! - Thank you.

May I dispose of my garbage here? - In the can, man.

Merci, monsieur.

Hey, McDivitt. Sheriff was looking for you.

Again?

Why? - Search me. He just said if I saw you, to tell you to drop by.

Well, is it in relation to the kidnapping?

No, no.

That was a false alarm. Turned out to be some cattle man from Nebraska

taking his daughter to a dude ranch. - I imagine he was quite upset, eh?

Yeah, and how.

Well, it's not my fault he arrested the wrong man, is it?

No. Didn't say it was.

You mind if I ask you a question? - Not at all. Shoot.

Where are you from? - What possible difference does that make?

No difference, just some of the guys was wondering, that's all.

Why?

Do I look so different from other people? - No, but you speak different.

Do I? - Yeah.

Well, just so you and everyone else can sleep easier tonight,

I'm from Massachusetts.

You were a farmer in Massachusetts? - No, I did everything else but farm.

I had this lung problem and my doctor advised me to come here.

I do welding mostly. Peace work, you understand.

Mind if I look at your licence? - No, not at all.

Ah... - Oh, of course.

You know this is no good? - I beg your pardon?

You're living here. You shouldn't be driving on Massachusetts licence

or Missouri plates.

I bought the truck in Missouri. - That's what I figured.

Get yourself licensed and registered here.

Alright, sir I will. Anything else, Sheriff?

No. No, not that I can think of.

All I need to know now is, where's the girl?

Any new leads?

The FBI think she's left the state.

But me, I kinda like to think she's eloped.

Anything else? - Yes. I'd like some curtain material, please.

What kind?

A white brocade, grape-leaf pattern with a fine gold thread through it.

Fine gold thread? - Yes, ma'am.

Sure. Wait a minute.

What was that pattern you wanted?

A white brocade, grape-leaf pattern with a fine gold thread through it.

It's quite simple. - Not around here it isn't.

I've only had one order like that in the last ten years

and even that customer had to settle for grape clusters.

Obviously, my wife was mistaken. - I didn't say your wife was mistaken.

I can special order it for you like I did for the other lady.

Who was the other lady?

The other lady? - Yes.

Mrs Asa Withers.

Asa Withers? - It was the mother of the kidnapped girl.

Yes, of course.

Can I place that order for you? - You can indeed, yes.

What did you say your name was? - McDivitt.

If you wait... - I'll take $20 worth.

- Do you want a receipt? - I'll be back next week.

- It may not be done. - Not to worry!

He almost ran over me!

Liar! Betrayed!

I'm betrayed!

How could you betray me?! Liar!

Betrayed! I'm betrayed!

Alright! Everybody shut up and get out of here!

Now go on! Harry, get them out of here! Go on, get out of here!

Shut your mouth and get out of here!

Andale! Go!

You stay here and shut the door. - Out! Out!

Holy moley.

McDivitt. Orderly at Northfield State Hospital for the Insane.

Had his licence stolen the night a patient escaped

named Leonard Hatch. Aged 31, 5 foot 9, blue eyes.

What's the matter?! - You betrayed me!

You sent me to buy curtains like your mother's,

the only other person who's asked for them!

Well, how was I supposed to know? - You did the same thing with the chilli peppers!

Special order, you told me.

You've been sending me to town with clues! Admit it!

Admit it! You betrayed me! - I didn't ask today.

What difference does it make? - Can't the genius see?

Three days ago, I would've done anything to get away. Things change.

I've turned you into a fast-thinking shrew!

How come I didn't try to run away when I got loose or leave today?

How come I washed clothes, picked flowers and tried catching a fish?

I even baked you an apple brown betty.

Does that sound like someone trying to escape or get her guy caught?

I even had a nice surprise for you, but forget it!

What is it? - Never mind. It's too late!

- Tell me what it is! - I wrote you a damn poem!

Show it to me.

One of your old grocery lists. - Turn it over.

I can't read your chicken scratch. You read it.

"The Cabin Of The Dawn - by Doris Mae Withers."

"The truck broke down when I was on my way home

and along came a man speaking in poems."

"I thought he was nuts when he called himself Kubla Khan

and took me away to his cabin of the dawn."

"At first, I thought I was in a terrible mess,

but he's made me a lady, even bought me a dress."

"He taught me all sorts of things from the very start."

"He opened my mind and gave wings to my heart."

"At first I just couldn't figure this funny man out."

But then I realised he's teaching me what life's all about."

"Like wanting things enough can make them come true."

"I guess that's what he means by Xanadu."

"Life on that farm was almost like hell."

"Now I'm Queen of England and my name's Christabel."

"We dine on delicacies and plenty of fruit,

and I dance for him as he plays me his flute."

"I think he's been awfully lonely a while

and just needs a friend at whom he can smile."

"What he doesn't know is he's got one in me

and together we make awful nice symmetry."

Didn't you like it?

I think you're the best teacher around.

You could teach anybody anything.

Only I'm glad it's me.

They found us.

Do you think they saw us? - I know they saw the truck.

What do we do? - "We"?

You want to go with me? - What good's it being smart in Penasco?

What good indeed, My Lady!

It's getting dark. We should wait till night. - There'll be roadblocks.

We can go the other way, over the mountains on foot to Mexico.

Alright. Start packing your things.

Hold me. I'm scared. - No, don't be scared.

Don't be scared. We'll try for Mexico.

We'll do it.

Are you getting, you know, all steamed up?

Me, too.

It's OK, isn't it?

I don't know.

But you were married.

Yes, but I never...

I'm scared, too.

You OK? - Uh-huh.

And you?

Mm-hmm.

You better get ready to go now.

Go, with music sweet and loud,

And take two steeds with trappings proud,

And take the one thou lov'st best

To play thy harp, and learn thy song,

And clothe thee both in solemn vest,

And over the mountains haste along,

My God. That's the number-seven trap. They're here.

Leonard Hatch, this is Sheriff Emett. We know you're in there.

Send the girl out alone. You will not be harmed.

Come out backwards with your hands on your head.

Get down!

No, no, no!

That's not the way to do it. You've gotta use your head.

But they can't do anything if I want to be with you, can they?

Who the hell fired that shot? - Get in the fireplace. Come on!

Will you cease fire? There's a girl in there, for God's sake!

"One minute, Hatch."

What are you gonna do?

Not to worry.

Good luck, My Lady.

No!

Close your eyes.

Close your eyes.

That's it.

Look at the stars.

Where's my daughter?!

Get back. - Get her away from him!

Let's go! - Get her away from him!

Baby... - Get her away from there!

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