Original subtitles

-Hands in the air! -Turn around.

-Get down! -Hands up! Hands up!

Which one do you want me to do?

Put your hands behind your back!

-Turn around! -Hands in the air!

Line of fire!

Uh, Jim! What does "line of fire" mean?

Aah!

-Is he okay? - I'm fine.

Oh, my God!

Guys, hello.

Good fortune. I got a grant from Reno

to do my one-man show for... for Juneteenth.

Whoa!

- Yes! Yes! - No way!

See, it's a whole one-man show

about the, uh, African-American

ex-ex-experience in... in... in America, and, um...

When's it gonna be?

It-- Uh, Juneteenth.

- Wow! - When is Juneteenth?

Um...

It's on... on Juneteenth.

And, uh, you all are coming, I hope... I hope.

-Sure. -Absolutely.

I remember, at the beginning of the year,

you came in and you were really mad.

And you're like, "You are not White allies.

In fact, you guys are enabling the racists."

And you said this over and over again.

He called us "dicks." And you called us "dicks."

Yes. You said it over and over again.

I think right now when you see us at your event

when it happens-- - Yeah.

- Talk about allies. - Yeah.

Like my Jewish neighbor would say

"Use it in good health." -Oof.

Ugh.

- That was not terrible. - Pretty good.

Yeah, okay. Good fortune to all.

- I know it's a... -Good for you.

- I know it's a one-man show... -And hey--

...but if you got a part for a partner,

you got a little part in there-- - I'll handle this.

You'd end up being a nasty oppressor, you don't want to--

It's a great day for you, our brother.

I'm gonna have a Jones' Day. I'm... I'm gonna...

Yes!

- Jones' Day. - You deserve it.

Black power!

Any means necessary.

You can't do shows like that

without a couple of redneck racist guys.

- Uh, look at every, look at-- - Sam Rockwell parts.

Those Rockwells...

"You... You can't do that in my backyard"--

Damn it, you killed that, man.

I was born to play that part.

Do you want to meet my guys who do right-wing, uh, casting

for, uh, stuff?

- Yeah, I'll meet those guys. -Yeah, yeah.

I'm s-- I haven't done the show

but I'm so proud of myself.

I'm so proud of me...

...and what I've gotta do.

Yeah, come on. I'm coming. I'm sorry.

Yes!

I'm sorry. Shit.

Got it. Shit, I'm sorry. Sorry.

Sorry.

Okay. Shit.

And-- Shit. I'm sor-- Fuck!

That's right.

Meet the Reno Sheriff's Department's

elite Bicycle Riot Response Division.

Ever heard of the Blue Angels?

Well, meet...

the Beige Angels.

Beige Angels!

Beige Angels!

♪ Hey, Antifa, you afraid? ♪

♪ Hey, Antifa, you afraid? ♪

♪ Here come Angels And they're beige ♪

♪ Here come Angels And they're beige ♪

♪ Hey, you Proud Boys Get a shave ♪

...the stairs. Fuck it! Fuck it! Ow! Fuck!

Aah! Fuck! Fuck it!

Can we-- Hey, guys-- Hey, Beige Angels?

We gotta put some tape here.

How about everybody just-- Exactly.

- Stand like you're Proud Boys. - Yes.

Like, we're proud of each other, not--

I'm a girl. Do I--

Nora, shut the fuck up.

The Beige Angels!

Through a reappropriation of some funding

that used to go to schools but doesn't anymore,

and some guys who are in work release from prison,

and some dudes who got busted for minor drug offenses,

we now have, second to Miami,

the most elite bicycle riot response ream in the world.

Beige Angels, assemble!

That's when we do the thing, we do the circle.

Remember? Circle of Death. This is the Circle of Death.

Circle of Death. That's when we--

But somebody goes alternate. Shit.

I go alternate, you go in.

Shit. Fuck me. I'm sorry. No, stop.

Remember, some of us are going out,

and then some of us are going in,

and we're chanting...

Circle of Death! Circle of Death!

Okay, hang on. -Circle of Death!

So, we've been trying to make a little extra money these days.

And, uh, we came up with the-- A brilliant idea

of making a calendar about the Bible...

...with cats.

People who love cats and Bibles,

buy a lot of calendars,

we found out. - Mm-hmm.

They also love candles and plastic containers.

But we haven't figured out a way to get it all in,

so, right now it's just cats, calendars,

and everybody loves Jesus.

Well, not everybody, but...

- Get off on it. - Oh, yeah, that's good.

Uh-huh.

All right.

Whoo!

I don't know if you have read the Book of Revelation,

but there is the koalas of the apocalypse.

I think this is one of Raineesha's thongs.

Isn't this? For when she does her--

No!

Yeah. We're gonna put this here.

Let's do the part... -Jesus!

...at the end, when he gets murdered.

Yes.

So, for some reason, he had a hat on.

That doesn't track for me, but-- - It was a torture crown.

I'm trying to put him on... -Okay.

Our... Our cross is not to scale.

Hold on, I'm gonna get the Last Supper.

Okay.

O Lord and Savior, Who got furballs, hairballs--

It's weird when you act it out.

Should we put his little paws out,

like he's on the cross?

I'm doing what I can.

What?

- This is really sad, you guys. - What?

You know how hard it is for us to get this little guy

with this little cross,

imagine what a hard time those poor people had

lifting up an actual man and putting him on that cross.

Hardly seems worth it.

Hold on, hold on.

Got it. Okay, now we only have 11 more months to do.

Whoo!

Good evening. Welcome to Juneteenth.

I... am Frederick Douglass.

If one has not been...

to the South...

one can go...

if they want.

Let's do this.

♪ Freak me, baby ♪

♪ Let me lick you up and down Till you say stop ♪

♪ Let me play with your body Baby, make you feel hot ♪

♪ If you like ice cream ♪

♪ Can't forget the ice cream ♪

♪ Let's go down to the store ♪

♪ And then bring the ice cream ♪

♪ Everyone, say we gonna Have a good time ♪

♪ Right now, right now Everybody say ♪

I'll be back.

♪ Who's the young little brother You came to see? ♪

♪ Eazy-E! Everyone, say it ♪

Eazy-E.

♪ I don't cooperate ♪

♪ Whoo ♪

♪ It's easy for me To know who you wanna see ♪

♪ It's a little young brother By the name of Eazy-E ♪

♪ And all I gotta do Is not even plea ♪

♪ But the sad thing about me Is I never learned to read ♪

Now's the time for the question and answer part of the show.

My man, Declan. - How much longer?

Go ahead, Trudy.

I was also wondering, how much longer?

I'm illit-- I'm illiterate.

When Jones did the whole thing about Eazy-E

not being able to read,

I thought that was pretty racist.

I mean, if I did a show about that,

and I looked like Eazy-E and... and acted like I couldn't read,

I feel like I'd get Me Too'd.

I used to think that Juneteenth

was like a day, you know. And now I know--

I... I thought it was-- I... I was totally misinformed,

with my White privilege and all my baggage, I thought it was--

It had something to do with the end of the Civil War.

And it turns out, uh, a-apparently, no.

Juneteenth is just--

It's not even a day, it's just something...

Uh, I mean, it's... it's very upbeat.

Whoo!

Enjoying the show so far, motherfuckers?

Have you ever had pussy and ice cream

at the same damn time?

White people, huh?

Y'all can't dance.

Y'all motherfuckers got little dicks, right, Garcia?

Zoops!

Children...

we need to get rid of 'em...

Right? They're terrible.

We can all escape war together,

and we're going down the hill.

And I'm like...

No, you see...

My-My wife, when we got married, I made a deal with her.

"Don't do it." And she did.

Wow.

You know, you gotta separate the A's from the B's.

R. Kelly flying around telling the R.Kelly side of the story.

- A. - A.

Madea stuff.

- A. - A.

The Bill Cosby stuff. A.

Plus... A-plus.

You can never have enough Cosby.

Oh, hey.

It's the Reno Sheriff's Department Beise Angel...

Banje Angels.

- We don't do drugs. - Well, let's get-- No, let's--

We don't do drugs.

Okay... Fuck. Okay, everybody, get in the cool...

We look like a bunch of fucking idiots.

We need to... Know what you look like?

A bunch of fucking weird drug people

that I got at the bike park.

Do a fucking formation. Here we go. Okay.

Beige Angels, assemble.

Beige Angels.

Beige Angels ramping it up today.

Fuck... Fuck it. Ow! Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck it.

This is the problem. The problem with the Beige Angels...

These guys are great, you know.

Um... Lots of 'em are on work release.

Now they're fucking organized.

A lot of the Beige Angels are men of... proud men of color.

Robert is one of them.

And so are-- Shit, I thought we had...

You're the only... You're the only...

Yeah, I think we forgot to bring...

Where's-- Dwayne came without that other guy?

Well, a lot of the Beige Angels who aren't pictured

are also brave men and women of color.

And that's just one of the many great things

I love about being a Beige Angel...

the brotherhood.

Reno Sheriff's Department would like to welcome you

to the "Biggest Little City in the World."

Whether you've come here

to visit the Bowling Hall of Fame...

...a taxidermy museum...

...or to try your hand at our gas station slot machines...

...we want you to stay safe while doing it.

Here are just a few tips.

On arriving at the airport, do not speak

or make eye contact with anyone you don't already know.

And go directly to your hotel.

Pack a sack lunch, so you don't need to stop

along the way.

Staying inside the hotel room with the deadbolt locked

won't guarantee your safety.

But it certainly increases your odds.

And rather than placing your valuables in the hotel safe,

why not just leave them at home?

It'll save space in your luggage,

for all the money you "might," I have to say, win.

You'll probably win.

If you decide to leave the safety of your room

and explore our great city,

do not leave your car.

And finally, don't forget to write your name, sex,

and an emergency contact number in indelible marker

somewhere on your body,

ideally on an arm and a leg

in case of a possible, but unlikely...

dismemberment.

On behalf of the Reno Sheriff's Department,

we'd like to thank you for visiting Reno,

and will do everything we can

to help ensure your safety while you're here.

And we hope that you'll see

that we're trying to turn our F grade for crime

into an E...

for effort.

I wanna read you something.

Why don't you listen?

It's from my...

Ohh...

- You guys okay? -Yeah.

-Yeah. -Mm-hmm.

It's from my show called Fences.

"Cause I know...

what happens to the raisins when they get left out.

I know--"

Hey! Hey, I'm over here.

Thanks, pal.

Hi, guys, it's me. Raisin.

Did you know that

African Americans made the first peanut.

It's true.

You... You can't invent a plant.

I don't think you can invent a peanut.

No. I think the dude made things with peanuts,

and he got confused. - Yeah.

And that just shows a lack of research.

I think somebody invented cauliflower,

but that's white.

I once was a grape.

And now, I'm a raisin.

Get how that...

is kind of like how Black people feel?

It is like how Black people feel.

Did we learn anything at Jonesteenth?

Oh! Abso-- Uh-huh!

Uh... Like, um...

Uh...

I never knew all the words to "Freak You" by Silk.

And I'm... And I bet I know them now.

♪ Sometimes When you're outside ♪

♪ With the White experience ♪

♪ I want you to come inside ♪

♪ To the Black man's house ♪

♪ Where you're gonna Get freaked! ♪

♪ Let me freak you ♪

♪ Let me freak you ♪

♪ When I say "F" You say "F" ♪

♪ F ♪

♪ F ♪ - ♪ F ♪

♪ When I say "R" You say "R" ♪

♪ R ♪ - ♪ R ♪

- ♪ R ♪ - ♪ R ♪

♪ F-R-eak ♪

I never knew that the California raisin was...

capable of being that sexual.

It's a... It was a very sexy raisin vibe.

- I mean, you'd think... - Yeah.

...it's not possible to be turned on by the raisin.

It works, it worked.

Hey, how're you doin' today?

-Officer. - Hey, you wouldn't know

anything about a shitty brown van

that was just a getaway vehicle in a liquor store robbery?

No, sir.

So I would not find three men and a woman inside?

No.

All right, you don't mind if I take a gander, do you?

-No. - All right.

Shit.

I do apologize. You have a nice day, all right?

A Bird on the Wing by Maya Angelou.

Ugh.

I know...

why the caged bird sings,

do you?

Bet you don't.

And I'm not telling.

I know why-- Jim? Jim?

- I'll just have a pee. - Uh-uh.

I'm good.

- Stop. -Yep.

- Put your hand down, dude. - That was my privilege,

trying to go pee, and I apologize.

When he did the whole thing about the movie White Girls...

pshew!

He called that a Reader's Digest version

of White Girls.

He cut, like, one scene. I've seen the movie.

That was the movie.

♪ Hey, Antifa, you afraid? ♪

♪ Here come Angels Also beige ♪

- ♪ Beige Angels ♪ - ♪ Beige Angels ♪

Sound off!

Sound off.

We're gonna... We'll set this to N-U maybe, it'll be good.

It'll be good. I got it. I got it.

Beige Angels!

Beige Angels!

♪ I have a buddy ♪

♪ That I unfold ♪

♪ I have my new buddy ♪

♪ Out of Botany Bay ♪

Let's do this.

♪ Let me lick you up and down Till you say stop ♪

♪ Let me play with your body Baby, make you feel hot ♪

♪ 'Cause tonight, baby I wanna get freaky with you ♪

♪ Wo-oh ♪

How many Black people are there?

More than there ever used to be, for sure.

- Is he gonna be... - Wow.

...all the Black people?

♪ Oooooooo ♪

♪ Oooo-oo-oo-oo ♪

Wow.

Wow. -Oh, the ending.

The big ending!

More to come, guys. More to come!

"More to come?"

The next time he does his show, or right now?

Right now. There's more to come right now.

Guys, look, I just wanted to hear what you had to say.

-Amazing! -Oh, wow.

Oh, wow, oh, yeah.

- Are you signing stuff now? - Uh, not yet.

- Okay. - You'll sign it at the end.

I'll sign at the end.

I believe he said, "Hang"-- "I'm gonna hang out after,

and you can say hi." He did not.

- He had left the stage. - Yup.

Smoke machine going. We waited for...

- Quite a while. Yeah. - ...fifteen?

I wanna say 20 minutes, for the smoke to clear.

I mean, you can check out, see all the stuff, pretty neat.

He's gotten a little bit Hollywood.

Yeah.