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00:00:02,035 --> 00:00:06,706
♪ MTV ♪
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00:00:09,876 --> 00:00:12,277
Welcome
to the distant future.
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This is pretty neat
because the state of Nevada
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00:00:15,815 --> 00:00:18,617
has given us--
5
00:00:18,618 --> 00:00:21,086
rented us
a virtual reality system,
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00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:22,421
which is for training purposes.
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00:00:22,422 --> 00:00:25,524
You can be in--
Travis, where are you now?
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00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:27,459
Yeah, it's not just
a target range.
9
00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:30,829
It's like a--I'm in, like,
an inner city neighborhood.
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00:00:30,830 --> 00:00:34,267
We cross the street
up going into the bike.
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Shit.
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- Sorry.
- Shit.
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Sorry.
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Whoa, really scary guy!
15
00:00:42,175 --> 00:00:43,642
Scary guy!
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- Scary guy!
- Get down!
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Whoo-hoo!
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{\an8}Oh!
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{\an8}Holy shit!
20
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{\an8}Go!
21
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{\an8}- Good morning.
- Good morning.
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Sorry I'm late.
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Good morning.
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Morning.
Good morning.
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This morning's briefing is also
brought to you by Panda Fridge.
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Refrigerators only
when you need them.
27
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I used them before.
They pretty good.
28
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- Panda Fridge?
- They're really good.
29
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They're actually pretty good.
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Football guy talk.
31
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We got a update
from Carson City.
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We've never actually shot
an unarmed white guy.
33
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,083
Never.
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Mm.
35
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Did we shoot--
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You missed him, remember?
37
00:02:04,157 --> 00:02:05,991
- Never?
- Never.
38
00:02:05,992 --> 00:02:07,392
There's a whole--
the guy got a thing.
39
00:02:07,393 --> 00:02:09,628
There's a whole fax.
I had to watch a PowerPoint
40
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:12,498
about all the folks
we've shot of--
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00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:14,900
well, I mean, it's stupid,
but I don't know--
42
00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:17,669
So what is it they're--
they're asking?
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00:02:17,670 --> 00:02:21,573
Do we include Spaniards
and Argentines in--in...
44
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- Not in my America.
- White?
45
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Certainly, no one's saying
46
00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:27,746
that we should shoot
an unarmed white guy.
47
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Well, just--yes.
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I mean, I'm not saying it.
49
00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:33,752
But just, like,
statistically...
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- Mm-hmm.
- If we hit--
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if we hit--
if we just hit one...
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We should shoot it,
but if we shot a white person,
53
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it would be the worst thing.
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I'ma put my feet up here.
55
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You're dying for us
to ask about the skates.
56
00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:54,239
- Here's somebody.
- I want that guy.
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00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:55,874
- He's white, right?
- No, no, no, no, no.
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00:02:55,875 --> 00:02:57,776
Full-blown, like,
beautiful Asian guy.
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00:02:57,777 --> 00:02:59,211
- No.
- No, no, no. Trust me.
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00:02:59,212 --> 00:03:00,712
Check my browser history
if you don't think
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00:03:00,713 --> 00:03:02,314
that's an Asian dude
with a pompadour.
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00:03:02,315 --> 00:03:04,449
- That guy looks...
- That looks pretty white.
63
00:03:04,450 --> 00:03:06,652
Do you guys consider
Italian white?
64
00:03:06,653 --> 00:03:08,487
- No.
- I don't either.
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- I do.
- You do?
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00:03:10,089 --> 00:03:12,391
Rizzo has always been
a white man to me.
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00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:13,859
Rizzo?
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00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,727
- Wow. That's funny.
- Wow.
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00:03:15,728 --> 00:03:17,529
- That is a white dude.
- No.
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He's got, like, you know,
it's Armenian or something.
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00:03:19,899 --> 00:03:21,199
What is an Armenian?
Does anyone know?
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Armenian. I don't know.
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00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:24,436
It's them guys every
once a year,
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00:03:24,437 --> 00:03:26,505
they drive around celebrating
their genocide.
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00:03:26,506 --> 00:03:28,273
- Right, right, right.
- The flags.
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With the techno music.
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- White guy.
- Very unhappy white guy.
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00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:34,179
- I like this guy. Here we go.
- Okay.
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00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:35,747
Does he look--
does he remind you of somebody?
80
00:03:35,748 --> 00:03:37,683
He looks super familiar.
Super familiar.
81
00:03:37,684 --> 00:03:39,017
John Cusack.
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No, no, no, no, no, no.
There's like a--
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00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:41,920
oh, my God,
it's like a face I see a lot.
84
00:03:41,921 --> 00:03:43,488
- He's a news guy.
- Yes.
85
00:03:43,489 --> 00:03:44,823
Or it's like a
two-dimensional thing or it's--
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00:03:44,824 --> 00:03:46,959
- Wasn't he the other guy?
- "Wanted" poster.
87
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,293
He's from Reno poster.
88
00:03:48,294 --> 00:03:50,562
- Hey, hey, guy!
- Hey. Are you familiar--
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Oh!
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My shoes!
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00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:01,673
{\an8}- Okay.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
92
00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:03,008
{\an8}- You know what?
- Dang, all right.
93
00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:04,276
{\an8}- You know what, Mike?
- Hey, dude.
94
00:04:04,277 --> 00:04:05,744
Yeah, knock, knock.
95
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:08,547
Stay out of my way.
I'm doing the big jump today.
96
00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:11,116
- Hey, criminal mastermind.
- Yeah?
97
00:04:11,117 --> 00:04:12,484
Just--I just want to--
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00:04:12,485 --> 00:04:13,952
I'm just rattling around
the thoughts in your head.
99
00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:17,489
When you're going to commit
a class D felony...
100
00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:18,991
- Yeah.
- Why would you stream it?
101
00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:20,759
Because this is
my action channel
102
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,427
and I have a landing ramp
on the other side.
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00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:23,662
He's got--he does have
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00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:24,997
a landing ramp
on the other side.
105
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:26,098
Oh, well,
we shouldn't have come
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00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,332
if you have a landing ramp.
107
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:29,201
No.
No, no, no!
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00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:31,069
Stop it.
109
00:04:31,070 --> 00:04:32,738
- Did you make this yourself?
- I did.
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00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:34,506
I didn't make the rascal,
for Christ's sake.
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00:04:34,507 --> 00:04:37,209
Who would make a rascal,
but the rascal people?
112
00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:38,844
- Yeah. That's right.
- I made the rockets.
113
00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:40,345
I tied the rockets on
and all the other stuff.
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00:04:40,346 --> 00:04:41,780
I have to say,
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00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:43,048
you have gotten more
sophisticated over the years.
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00:04:43,049 --> 00:04:44,316
Thank you very much.
117
00:04:44,317 --> 00:04:45,484
That's good stuff.
118
00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:46,818
Do you like to
have good things?
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00:04:46,819 --> 00:04:48,387
- No, I don't--
- I think the good--
120
00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:50,889
the really good news about
this, Mike--don't, stop it!
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00:04:50,890 --> 00:04:54,059
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no!
122
00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:55,227
I blame you.
123
00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:56,461
You are a big part
of the problem.
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00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:57,562
Who?
125
00:04:57,563 --> 00:04:58,897
The little children,
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00:04:58,898 --> 00:05:00,565
giving you thumbs up
and hearts.
127
00:05:00,566 --> 00:05:02,534
Hey, I got hearts?
128
00:05:02,535 --> 00:05:03,969
That's better than,
129
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:07,105
"Fuck you, you old wasted
dick face who sucks dicks."
130
00:05:07,106 --> 00:05:08,840
That's what I usually get.
131
00:05:08,841 --> 00:05:11,376
There's a lot of people that
think I suck dicks, Dangle.
132
00:05:11,377 --> 00:05:13,211
- You would know.
- But there are, like,
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00:05:13,212 --> 00:05:14,546
children that say it to me.
134
00:05:14,547 --> 00:05:15,914
- Yeah, filthy language.
- You suck dick.
135
00:05:15,915 --> 00:05:17,149
Yeah, you suck dickS.
136
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,750
You like to have dicks
in your face.
137
00:05:18,751 --> 00:05:20,819
- Yeah.
- You love balls.
138
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,487
I'm an entertainer.
139
00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:24,890
Outlaw.
Entertainer.
140
00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:26,758
Yeah, this, I get.
This, I get.
141
00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:28,326
- Oh, who doesn't get that?
- Hey.
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00:05:28,327 --> 00:05:30,095
That's a sexy mountain
to climb.
143
00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:35,801
♪ Got to climb that mountain,
get it on ♪
144
00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:46,378
There's a story by Shirley
Jackson called "The Lottery"
145
00:05:46,379 --> 00:05:48,113
where they--they pick
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00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:50,882
one person every year
to stone to death.
147
00:05:50,883 --> 00:05:52,951
Yeah, and then
he gets super stoned
148
00:05:52,952 --> 00:05:55,087
and then he gets
on this fucking bike.
149
00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:56,354
- Fuck it.
- It's sports.
150
00:05:56,355 --> 00:05:57,956
- I fucking--
- Fucking do it.
151
00:05:57,957 --> 00:05:59,524
- Fucking do it.
- Fucking do it, genius.
152
00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:01,159
Let's do it!
153
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:03,161
We got the green light!
- Do it. I dare you.
154
00:06:03,162 --> 00:06:04,663
- Oh, see?
- Oh, shit.
155
00:06:04,664 --> 00:06:06,398
Oh, shit.
156
00:06:09,402 --> 00:06:11,503
Whoo-hoo!
157
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:20,979
There's really only one place
in Reno
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00:06:20,980 --> 00:06:23,949
that symbolizes
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00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:25,784
the joie de vivre
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00:06:25,785 --> 00:06:28,386
of the cowboy lifestyle.
161
00:06:28,387 --> 00:06:30,388
And that's Zapateria
La Bailarina.
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00:06:30,389 --> 00:06:32,457
I got my ostrich boots there.
163
00:06:32,458 --> 00:06:35,193
They say three payments,
164
00:06:35,194 --> 00:06:37,863
but Oscar La Bailarina
is kind of a slippery dude.
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00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:40,632
It ended up being more
like 60 payments.
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00:06:40,633 --> 00:06:42,467
If there was ever
a lesson that, you know,
167
00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:45,937
an ostrich and a foam bar and
Mykonos probably don't mix--
168
00:06:45,938 --> 00:06:48,406
anyway, I'm gonna get--
just get them resold.
169
00:06:48,407 --> 00:06:49,975
Not going
to get the new ones
170
00:06:49,976 --> 00:06:52,144
'cause I don't want to be a
slave to La Bailarina anymore.
171
00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:55,413
But got to get them resold.
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00:06:55,414 --> 00:06:57,516
♪ La Bailarina ♪
173
00:06:57,517 --> 00:06:59,552
♪ The cowboy's nightlife ♪
174
00:07:02,288 --> 00:07:03,889
Brand new.
175
00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:07,859
Synthetic albino
Komodo dragon.
176
00:07:09,729 --> 00:07:12,130
36 payments.
And they're all mine.
177
00:07:12,131 --> 00:07:13,465
Whoa.
178
00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:15,367
What?
179
00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:16,935
Boom!
He got me.
180
00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:20,972
I obviously would never want
to hurt a real Komodo dragon,
181
00:07:20,973 --> 00:07:24,943
obviously because that would--
182
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:26,812
hang on a second.
183
00:07:26,813 --> 00:07:28,481
How did we do this?
184
00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:34,654
I don't know.
No.
185
00:08:18,698 --> 00:08:20,632
{\an8}Oh, this is it.
This is it right here.
186
00:08:20,633 --> 00:08:21,967
- Yep.
- You know these guys
187
00:08:21,968 --> 00:08:23,602
aren't armed and they couldn't
be any whiter.
188
00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:26,338
One for you, one for me.
189
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,106
- This place is awful.
- Hey, guys.
190
00:08:28,107 --> 00:08:29,441
- Morning.
- Hi, officers.
191
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:30,942
Hi, officers.
192
00:08:30,943 --> 00:08:35,213
Wouldn't mind talking to you
about the Book of Mormon.
193
00:08:35,214 --> 00:08:36,548
I'm sorry.
Do you mind just
194
00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:38,049
taking your hand off your gun
for a second?
195
00:08:38,050 --> 00:08:39,050
It just makes me
really nervous.
196
00:08:39,051 --> 00:08:40,218
I'm nervous too.
197
00:08:40,219 --> 00:08:41,486
I wasn't even noticing
I was doing that.
198
00:08:41,487 --> 00:08:43,154
It's just instinct, you know?
199
00:08:43,155 --> 00:08:45,590
We--we just--we truly just
want to talk about faith.
200
00:08:45,591 --> 00:08:47,392
I'm a--a woman of deep faith.
201
00:08:47,393 --> 00:08:50,395
But I've been sort of shopping
around for a new one.
202
00:08:50,396 --> 00:08:52,030
Elder, Elder,
we have to get back--
203
00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:53,765
Well, just--
just stay close to me.
204
00:08:53,766 --> 00:08:56,434
While I read it, answer
any questions I might have.
205
00:08:56,435 --> 00:08:58,236
Do you know what I'm saying?
- Elder.
206
00:08:58,237 --> 00:08:59,738
- We're on a mission.
- Elder, go, go, go!
207
00:08:59,739 --> 00:09:01,506
We just wanna talk to you!
Come on!
208
00:09:01,507 --> 00:09:03,041
You don't need to--now look.
209
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:04,776
Take a shot! Take a shot!
210
00:09:04,777 --> 00:09:06,812
Oh, Jesus.
211
00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:09,581
Declan.
212
00:09:09,582 --> 00:09:11,650
- Go, go, get 'em!
- Take a shot, you got 'em!
213
00:09:11,651 --> 00:09:12,918
- You do it!
- You do it!
214
00:09:12,919 --> 00:09:14,853
- I can't move right now.
- I'm not gon--
215
00:09:23,162 --> 00:09:24,663
{\an8}- Sheriff's department.
- Somebody called you guys.
216
00:09:24,664 --> 00:09:26,765
{\an8}I'm sorry we took a while.
217
00:09:26,766 --> 00:09:29,668
{\an8}Yeah, we just sat down to eat
when we got the call.
218
00:09:29,669 --> 00:09:31,536
I'm Steve.
I'm the flight attendant
219
00:09:31,537 --> 00:09:33,705
kind of in charge
of economy class.
220
00:09:33,706 --> 00:09:35,073
- Sure, sure.
- Oh, exhausting!
221
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,775
Yeah, I bet.
Yeah.
222
00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:38,243
What happened wrong today...
223
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,745
Is, um, a woman--
224
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:43,114
and I don't want you to let her
know we're talking about her--
225
00:09:43,115 --> 00:09:46,584
in a blue chemise
in the third row.
226
00:09:46,585 --> 00:09:47,886
Guys, can I--
227
00:09:47,887 --> 00:09:49,154
Shh, shh, shh.
228
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:50,989
Ma'am, ma'am!
- Ma'am.
229
00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:52,390
So she's sitting--
you know what?
230
00:09:52,391 --> 00:09:53,625
I'll pretend that I'm her, okay?
231
00:09:53,626 --> 00:09:54,859
And I'm going to sit here--
232
00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:55,994
First of all,
don't dress like that
233
00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:57,495
if you wanna
be taken seriously.
234
00:09:57,496 --> 00:09:59,397
She's hitting the buzzer
every 30 minutes.
235
00:09:59,398 --> 00:10:01,900
"Oh, sorry. I need chopsticks."
Oh--I come over.
236
00:10:01,901 --> 00:10:04,502
She says, "Oh, I spilled
all the nuts in my lap."
237
00:10:04,503 --> 00:10:06,938
She said, "Can you grab them?
Help me grab them."
238
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:08,306
So you'll be me.
239
00:10:08,307 --> 00:10:10,275
And I put my hand down there,
and I'm in--
240
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:12,911
she starts doing this,
like, trying to--
241
00:10:12,912 --> 00:10:15,814
trying to shove her
vaginal mound into my wrist.
242
00:10:15,815 --> 00:10:17,415
- Can you believe that?
- You know?
243
00:10:17,416 --> 00:10:19,718
So she says,
"Go up there and grab my jacket
244
00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:21,619
because, well,
I'm seat belted in."
245
00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:24,489
As I'm grabbing her jacket,
she's doing this.
246
00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:27,792
Just giving me little
Eskimo kisses with her nose,
247
00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:29,761
just like this.
248
00:10:29,762 --> 00:10:31,563
Nice and slow.
- This is--I do not--
249
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:33,298
I'm looking for a jacket
that doesn't even exist.
250
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,066
Why is he wearing shorts?
251
00:10:35,067 --> 00:10:38,169
And she's going like this
pretending she's reaching
252
00:10:38,170 --> 00:10:40,405
in the back for my jacket.
253
00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:42,073
- Sheriffs--
- What's really happening is...
254
00:10:42,074 --> 00:10:43,375
Excuse me.
255
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:46,344
I am getting ass raped
by her vaginal mound!
256
00:10:46,345 --> 00:10:48,546
Hey, excuse me.
I'm so--
257
00:10:48,547 --> 00:10:50,482
he doesn't work
for the airline.
258
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:51,883
He's the one
I called you about.
259
00:10:51,884 --> 00:10:54,953
He was rubbing his groin
on this passenger.
260
00:10:54,954 --> 00:10:57,122
Shit. God damn it.
Get down in first!
261
00:10:57,123 --> 00:10:59,057
Don't get near me!
262
00:10:59,058 --> 00:11:00,992
Or I will open this door
263
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:03,228
and suck you all out
into space!
264
00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:05,397
I don't think he's bluffing.
265
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:06,831
It's, like,
12 feet down, right?
266
00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:08,166
14 feet?
- It's, like, 12 feet.
267
00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:14,639
{\an8}Oh, there she is.
268
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:16,808
{\an8}Okay. Hello.
269
00:11:16,809 --> 00:11:18,176
No, thank you.
270
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:19,544
If I say no, thank you,
no, thank you!
271
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:23,982
Want me to hold my call?
Hello?
272
00:11:23,983 --> 00:11:26,351
This is Jackie, yes.
- You don't get service.
273
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:27,552
Shut the--
274
00:11:27,553 --> 00:11:29,120
Hey, you got
to pick this stuff up.
275
00:11:29,121 --> 00:11:30,722
You have
to pick it all up now!
276
00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:32,190
- Oh, no, no, no.
- Oh, come on.
277
00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:34,325
Now, you have to
pick it all up.
278
00:11:34,326 --> 00:11:36,027
- No, Jackie.
- Don't touch that--
279
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,695
What are--what are they?
280
00:11:37,696 --> 00:11:39,364
Listen, smartass.
What do you think this is?
281
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:42,033
It's used condoms and teeth
in the bottom of the baggy.
282
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:43,735
Everybody's got those.
283
00:11:43,736 --> 00:11:46,771
Jackie, please come with us.
We don't want to touch you.
284
00:11:46,772 --> 00:11:48,073
Please, come on.
285
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:50,241
- Oh, that came out of my nose.
- Oh, man.
286
00:11:50,242 --> 00:11:51,776
This happened again.
287
00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:54,279
I'll do a thing.
Just follow me--follow me.
288
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,713
- Okay.
- Hey.
289
00:11:55,714 --> 00:12:00,685
The two of us would like to--
to obtain your services.
290
00:12:00,686 --> 00:12:03,421
So--but we want to do it
in the car.
291
00:12:03,422 --> 00:12:04,722
Yeah, so let's--
- God damn.
292
00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:06,458
I haven't even
had breakfast yet.
293
00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:09,294
Well, let me first make sure
I'm not pregnant.
294
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:11,262
What're you do--
oh, don't--no, don't pee.
295
00:12:11,263 --> 00:12:12,730
Oh, God.
It's for your own good.
296
00:12:12,731 --> 00:12:14,065
You wanna fuck--
297
00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:15,700
to pee out ammonia
for the rest of the year?
298
00:12:15,701 --> 00:12:18,103
That would be the least of my
worries, that you're pregnant.
299
00:12:18,104 --> 00:12:19,370
- I'm checking it.
- Did she just pee?
300
00:12:19,371 --> 00:12:20,605
I'm checking it!
301
00:12:20,606 --> 00:12:23,074
No, we're good.
Where do you want it?
302
00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:24,242
- In the car.
- Yeah.
303
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:25,877
- In the butt?
- Yeah.
304
00:12:25,878 --> 00:12:28,213
Oh, but--but, yes,
but in the car.
305
00:12:28,214 --> 00:12:29,514
- Okay.
- Come on.
306
00:12:29,515 --> 00:12:31,249
- I don't feel like it.
- Let's go.
307
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:32,851
What kind of party
can we have with a laxative
308
00:12:32,852 --> 00:12:34,619
and some petroleum jelly?
309
00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:36,588
It's nice in here.
- Yeah, there you go.
310
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,189
- Okay.
- Put that up.
311
00:12:38,190 --> 00:12:40,892
Help. Oh, I'm shitting.
312
00:12:40,893 --> 00:12:42,727
- Oh.
- You say you're shitting?
313
00:12:42,728 --> 00:12:44,062
No!
314
00:12:48,134 --> 00:12:51,102
{\an8}Responding to a call
from Gary.
315
00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:52,804
{\an8}What're you--what--
Gary's like--
316
00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:54,272
The racist.
317
00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:56,141
Well, yeah,
community organizer.
318
00:12:56,142 --> 00:12:57,475
- Proud Boy.
- Proud Boy.
319
00:12:57,476 --> 00:12:58,710
Come on, guys.
320
00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:01,246
Oh, they're cool, fellas.
It's cool.
321
00:13:01,247 --> 00:13:02,847
Thank you for coming.
322
00:13:02,848 --> 00:13:04,115
Hey, DJ.
323
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:06,251
So what happens
when you call 911, Gary?
324
00:13:06,252 --> 00:13:10,321
A little bird told me
you all are looking to
325
00:13:10,322 --> 00:13:11,856
shoot somebody?
326
00:13:11,857 --> 00:13:13,658
Hey, hey.
327
00:13:13,659 --> 00:13:14,859
- Hey.
- Hey!
328
00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:16,794
Hey!
329
00:13:16,795 --> 00:13:19,964
- What if I told you...
- Mm-hmm.
330
00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:23,501
I want you to shoot
331
00:13:23,502 --> 00:13:25,837
moi?
332
00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:28,773
Why do you want us
to shoot you?
333
00:13:28,774 --> 00:13:31,509
- You guys shoot a white man.
- Yeah.
334
00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:33,645
And now all of a sudden,
335
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:36,648
the Reno Sheriff's Department
shoots everybody.
336
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,917
Black people aren't victimized.
337
00:13:38,918 --> 00:13:42,287
They're just one of many
victims that we terrorize.
338
00:13:42,288 --> 00:13:44,122
They're one of the--
they just so happen to be
339
00:13:44,123 --> 00:13:46,157
the vast majority,
but not exclusive.
340
00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:48,826
- Not exclusively.
- Not exclusively.
341
00:13:48,827 --> 00:13:50,862
A more equal opportunity
to shoot us.
342
00:13:50,863 --> 00:13:51,996
I don't hate the--
343
00:13:51,997 --> 00:13:55,133
The same, you and me.
344
00:13:55,134 --> 00:13:56,834
Yes.
- What--hey, stop.
345
00:13:56,835 --> 00:13:58,403
Now you'll get what
you want and then
346
00:13:58,404 --> 00:14:00,838
I am the Crispus Attucks
of the new civil war.
347
00:14:00,839 --> 00:14:02,140
Who was that?
Remind me who that is?
348
00:14:02,141 --> 00:14:03,308
Do you know Crispus Attucks?
349
00:14:03,309 --> 00:14:04,576
Is that the guy
with the Bendel
350
00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:05,877
who planted all the seeds?
351
00:14:05,878 --> 00:14:07,345
Who's the guys--
352
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:09,847
what are the three sounds
of the breakfast cereal guys?
353
00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:11,516
- Snap, crackle--
- Snap, crackle.
354
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:13,017
Crackle Crispus?
- No.
355
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:14,419
Are you seriously thinking
356
00:14:14,420 --> 00:14:18,089
one of our Black founders
is the guy on cereal?
357
00:14:18,090 --> 00:14:19,557
Snap, crackle, pop
couldn't be Black?
358
00:14:19,558 --> 00:14:21,893
None of our cereal people
are black, okay?
359
00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:23,628
You need to get
on the same page.
360
00:14:23,629 --> 00:14:24,896
None of them
are people of color.
361
00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:27,465
BS.
What about Count Chocula?
362
00:14:27,466 --> 00:14:29,867
- What about Count Chocula?
- Count Chocula is not Black.
363
00:14:29,868 --> 00:14:32,804
- He is.
- His name is Chocolate. La.
364
00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:34,806
I'm going to talk
to some Black people.
365
00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:38,743
So you want us to shoot you
on purpose?
366
00:14:38,744 --> 00:14:40,545
Yeah, but non-lethal.
367
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:43,081
Just in the way that
it sends an entire...
368
00:14:43,082 --> 00:14:44,515
By the way, I apologize.
369
00:14:44,516 --> 00:14:45,984
You're right, Count Chocula--
- Count Chocula's Black.
370
00:14:45,985 --> 00:14:47,051
Yes, he's Black.
371
00:14:57,363 --> 00:14:59,530
It's a sad day here in Reno.
372
00:14:59,531 --> 00:15:02,934
We have a frequent
public nuisance named TT.
373
00:15:02,935 --> 00:15:04,402
I'm not sure
what happened to her,
374
00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:06,504
but her aunt sure was a pillar
in the community.
375
00:15:06,505 --> 00:15:09,841
And so
we're mourning her today.
376
00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:12,877
The Reno Sheriff's Department
has decided to pitch in
377
00:15:12,878 --> 00:15:16,114
and we're all pallbearers
for her--her coffin.
378
00:15:16,115 --> 00:15:19,217
She was a great lady
and she started a--
379
00:15:22,788 --> 00:15:24,922
An afterschool program
for homeless children.
380
00:15:24,923 --> 00:15:26,291
Ugh!
381
00:15:26,292 --> 00:15:30,061
She donated books
to people in need.
382
00:15:30,062 --> 00:15:32,397
And TT is going through
her stages of grief.
383
00:15:32,398 --> 00:15:34,766
It's--it's really
heartbreaking.
384
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,567
I've never seen
anything so sad.
385
00:15:36,568 --> 00:15:38,336
You know,
386
00:15:38,337 --> 00:15:40,705
everyone experiences
bereavement differently.
387
00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:45,209
So we try to have room
for that experience.
388
00:15:45,210 --> 00:15:48,079
Sometimes they cry.
Sometimes they hug things.
389
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,014
Sometimes they dance.
390
00:15:50,015 --> 00:15:52,517
Okay.
391
00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:54,452
Ahh!
- Oh.
392
00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:55,520
All right.
393
00:15:55,521 --> 00:15:57,288
My condolences.
394
00:16:00,659 --> 00:16:03,127
- Thank you.
- You're very welcome.
395
00:16:06,498 --> 00:16:08,466
Yes!
Yes!
396
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:11,502
Yes, yes, yes!
397
00:16:11,503 --> 00:16:13,271
We appreciate you.
398
00:16:13,272 --> 00:16:14,639
Thank you.
399
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:19,177
Oh.
400
00:16:19,178 --> 00:16:22,280
- Be a lady.
- Okay.
401
00:16:22,281 --> 00:16:24,582
Okay.
- Be a lady.
402
00:16:24,583 --> 00:16:26,918
All right, we--uh--
403
00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:28,152
we done--okay, yeah.
404
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:29,253
She's got to be easy.
405
00:16:29,254 --> 00:16:30,822
Be a lady.
Be a lady.
406
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,223
- All right, here we go.
- Thank you, TT.
407
00:16:32,224 --> 00:16:33,224
We really appreciate
you guys.
408
00:16:33,225 --> 00:16:34,292
Oh, absolutely.
409
00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:35,760
I mean, in general.
Yeah.
410
00:16:35,761 --> 00:16:37,161
Oh, no, no.
Well, thank you, thank you.
411
00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:38,596
I wouldn't miss this
for the world.
412
00:16:38,597 --> 00:16:39,997
- TT.
- Okay, okay.
413
00:16:39,998 --> 00:16:41,766
Oh, no, let her--
she's gotta mourn.
414
00:16:41,767 --> 00:16:44,168
Let her go.
She's got to mourn too.
415
00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:45,603
No hitting!
416
00:16:45,604 --> 00:16:47,105
So, uh, excuse me.
417
00:16:47,106 --> 00:16:48,773
Excuse--
418
00:16:50,809 --> 00:16:52,176
Very sorry.
Just have to--
419
00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:54,612
Hey,
you can't go through here!
420
00:16:54,613 --> 00:16:56,514
- Oh?
- They're doing a demolition.
421
00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:58,750
They're doing a demolition!
Back it up!
422
00:16:58,751 --> 00:17:00,885
- All right.
- Back it up.
423
00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:04,655
So sorry.
So sorry.
424
00:17:09,895 --> 00:17:12,029
Rotate!
Rotate!
425
00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:14,899
Rotate right.
- To starboard!
426
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:16,501
To the starboard!
427
00:17:16,502 --> 00:17:18,836
Watch your--watch your step.
There's a curb here.
428
00:17:18,837 --> 00:17:20,905
There's a curb here.
- Hard to port.
429
00:17:20,906 --> 00:17:23,074
- Okay, here we go, here we go.
- Hard to port.
430
00:17:23,075 --> 00:17:24,842
Oh, God, no!
431
00:17:24,843 --> 00:17:26,244
Oh, God, no!
- Oh!
432
00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:27,979
Go, go, go, go, go.
433
00:17:30,048 --> 00:17:32,150
- Let's get through this.
- Oh, God.
434
00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:34,318
Oh, that was really, really--
- Go, go, go!
435
00:17:34,319 --> 00:17:35,820
Okay.
436
00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:41,626
Let's go.
We're almost there.
437
00:17:41,627 --> 00:17:44,128
Go, go, go, go, go!
438
00:17:44,129 --> 00:17:45,963
Let's pick up the pace.
Switch pace.
439
00:17:45,964 --> 00:17:47,498
Did we make a wrong turn
or something?
440
00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:51,169
Whoa!
441
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:56,841
I think we made a wrong turn.
I swear.
442
00:17:56,842 --> 00:17:58,744
Shit!
443
00:17:58,977 --> 00:18:00,678
Shit!
444
00:18:06,218 --> 00:18:08,386
Are we following TT?
445
00:18:08,387 --> 00:18:10,354
Turn.
446
00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:15,560
A lot of rubble.
447
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,866
We're almost there.
We're almost there.
448
00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:23,201
This way.
Y'all come this way.
449
00:18:23,202 --> 00:18:25,369
Hard to starboard!
450
00:18:25,370 --> 00:18:27,172
Hard to starboard!
451
00:18:29,541 --> 00:18:31,309
Jesus.
Okay.
452
00:18:43,522 --> 00:18:47,291
Five, six, seven, eight, and...
453
00:18:48,660 --> 00:18:51,095
Brothers and sisters.
Brothers and sisters.
454
00:18:51,096 --> 00:18:55,266
Please join me
for a moment of silence.
455
00:18:55,267 --> 00:18:58,370
all:
- Moment of silence.
456
00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:11,916
Wah!
457
00:19:27,866 --> 00:19:29,567
We work really hard.
458
00:19:29,568 --> 00:19:31,402
But if we didn't love it,
459
00:19:31,403 --> 00:19:34,138
honestly, we wouldn't be here.
460
00:19:34,139 --> 00:19:35,573
Believe it or not,
461
00:19:35,574 --> 00:19:38,309
the Reno Sheriff's Department
has jobs available.
462
00:19:38,310 --> 00:19:41,946
Reno Sheriff's department
is looking for a few good men,
463
00:19:41,947 --> 00:19:44,582
and women, and transgender,
464
00:19:44,583 --> 00:19:47,285
and non-gender specific
Gen-Z-ers.
465
00:19:47,286 --> 00:19:49,220
Even with criminal records!
466
00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:53,224
Up to and including
the retarded.
467
00:19:53,225 --> 00:19:54,392
{\an8}I love it here.
468
00:19:54,393 --> 00:19:56,127
{\an8}And if I didn't,
I could quit at any time.
469
00:19:56,128 --> 00:19:58,129
{\an8}Really, I could just
get up and walk out.
470
00:19:58,130 --> 00:20:00,932
I'm so happy.
I must be dreaming.
471
00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:02,400
I didn't even use
472
00:20:02,401 --> 00:20:05,870
my six hours of time off
last Christmas.
473
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:08,439
So join
the Reno Sheriff's Department.
474
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:11,910
{\an8}all:
Fax in your applications now.
475
00:20:23,488 --> 00:20:24,922
Did you get him?
476
00:20:24,923 --> 00:20:26,424
- Did he do it?
- Did you get him?
477
00:20:26,425 --> 00:20:28,359
- No.
- I can't see from here.
478
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:30,127
Hold still.
479
00:20:30,128 --> 00:20:31,963
Ready?
480
00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:33,432
Gary, hold still.
481
00:20:35,767 --> 00:20:37,301
Bend your knees, Junior.
482
00:20:37,302 --> 00:20:39,938
Gary, close your eyes.
You're freaking him out.
483
00:20:42,341 --> 00:20:43,941
Oh, he got--
484
00:20:43,942 --> 00:20:45,943
Hey, Gary,
you forgot your candy bar.
485
00:20:45,944 --> 00:20:47,778
Ow!
486
00:20:47,779 --> 00:20:49,513
Oh, God damn it.
487
00:20:49,514 --> 00:20:50,982
Sorry!
488
00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:52,249
Somebody's got
to suck that out.
489
00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:53,317
Let me suck it out.
490
00:20:53,318 --> 00:20:54,652
- No.
- Let me suck it out.
491
00:20:54,653 --> 00:20:55,987
I got to suck it out.
I got to suck it out.
492
00:20:55,988 --> 00:20:57,455
Suck it out. Suck it out.
Suck it out. Suck it out.
493
00:20:57,456 --> 00:20:58,856
- No, no, no, no, no.
- So I'm going to suck it out.
494
00:20:58,857 --> 00:21:01,592
Jim, don't do that.
495
00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:04,062
I--I haven't been tested, dude.
496
00:21:06,031 --> 00:21:07,264
You know, it was funny.
497
00:21:07,265 --> 00:21:09,133
'Cause I used to say
that the Boy Scouts
498
00:21:09,134 --> 00:21:11,502
mostly traumatized me
with some of the, you know--
499
00:21:11,503 --> 00:21:13,037
I got this.
500
00:21:13,038 --> 00:21:15,306
Some of the super weird
gay stuff that happened to me.
501
00:21:15,307 --> 00:21:19,276
- Jim, let me just--
- I got it.
35486
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