Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:09,341
Okay, so this Friday, 8 p.m.
2
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:13,095
murder mystery dinner,
Sierra Historical Society.
3
00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:14,096
I've rented it out.
4
00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:15,597
Umm, should be lots of fun.
5
00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:19,268
And I have very, very
good roles for both of you.
6
00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:23,188
'Is would like to introduce
Mrs. Debbie Dangle.'
7
00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:27,776
And may I present
my fiance, Gary Werner.
8
00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:29,236
Coming, my love!
9
00:00:29,237 --> 00:00:30,279
Hello!
10
00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:34,992
Dance for us.
Dance, minstrel. Dance.
11
00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:37,286
You know what, bitch?
I'm his slave, not yours.
12
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:39,121
- You're gonna shut up in here.
- Are you gonna cut me?
13
00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:41,999
- 'Yes, I am.'
- To murder.
14
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,917
- Murder.
- Murder.
15
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,631
She's really dead.
16
00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:56,680
What the [bleep]. When are we
gonna get to the murder part?
17
00:00:56,681 --> 00:00:59,141
I've been laying on the bathroom
floor for three hours.
18
00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:00,560
Ooh.
19
00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:04,605
Son of a bitch! Godammit!
20
00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,863
{\an8}They all have guns!
21
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,619
{\an8}Whoo-hoo!
22
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:20,829
Ow!
23
00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:22,164
Push it to,
push it together?
24
00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:23,625
{\an8}Sheriff's department!
I need your bike!
25
00:01:25,543 --> 00:01:27,086
{\an8}Aah! Gah!
26
00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:38,013
Watch. Over the line.
27
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:52,695
'The authorities
are on their way.'
28
00:01:53,988 --> 00:01:55,197
- Hey, we're the authorities.
- I know.
29
00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:57,199
Well, the, the paramedics
are on their way is what I'm...
30
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,034
Paramedics are on their way.
I should have clarified.
31
00:01:59,035 --> 00:02:00,327
- Certainly.
- It seems as though...
32
00:02:00,328 --> 00:02:04,666
Our murder mystery dinner...
33
00:02:06,584 --> 00:02:09,796
...has become
a murder mystery dinner.
34
00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:15,884
The only thing
we know for certain
35
00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:17,719
that someone in this room
36
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:22,015
wanted Debbie Dangle dead.
37
00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:24,560
So much so
38
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:25,353
to commit such a heinous crime.
39
00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:29,274
Takes me back a little ways.
40
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,069
{\an8}Takes me back
41
00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:35,571
{\an8}to Cabo San Lucas.
42
00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:39,241
'Leslie, I believe'
43
00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:41,410
we had had four mind erasers
44
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:44,371
at Sammy Hagar's party joint
45
00:02:44,372 --> 00:02:45,455
Cabo Wabo
46
00:02:45,456 --> 00:02:49,710
when you said to me, and I quote
47
00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:53,589
"Boy, oh, boy, it would be
so super if Debbie were dead."
48
00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:59,052
I said that several times,
but I was kidding.
49
00:02:59,053 --> 00:02:59,469
We laughed.
50
00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:02,097
What about Gary?
51
00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:14,943
{\an8}'How you doing, Bernardino?'
52
00:03:14,944 --> 00:03:16,278
Now, some folks down
at the Piggly Wiggly
53
00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:19,281
in the produce section,
real upset.
54
00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:20,407
- You've been there?
- They're upset.
55
00:03:20,408 --> 00:03:22,284
- Yeah.
- You've been there?
56
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:23,994
'Did you see anything while
you were down there?'
57
00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:26,455
I'm...
I haven't been there for...
58
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:27,748
...seventy years?
59
00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:29,124
- Seventy years?
- Oh.
60
00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:30,334
Yeah. I mean,
I haven't been there for...
61
00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:31,460
I mean, I was there
seventy years ago, I guess.
62
00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,337
You were there at the
Piggly Wiggly seventy years ago?
63
00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:35,297
Yeah. So it's been a while.
64
00:03:35,298 --> 00:03:37,966
Yeah, that's a long time.
65
00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:39,468
4:20 this afternoon.
Think hard. Produce section.
66
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:42,346
Area with fruits and vegetables.
67
00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:44,681
A gentleman, Caucasian
68
00:03:44,682 --> 00:03:47,601
about 5'10", roller skates
69
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:48,310
which made us think...
70
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:49,436
Maybe it's Terry.
71
00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:51,813
Maybe Terry
would know this guy.
72
00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:54,524
{\an8}Maybe the person that works
there is stupid and ugly.
73
00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:57,152
See, it seems,
again to me like you might
74
00:03:57,153 --> 00:03:58,487
know this person
in the produce section.
75
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:00,155
I feel like it's coming back.
76
00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:02,324
I don't know any fat women with
red hair in the produce section.
77
00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:05,994
Alright, so this is
starting to fall into place.
78
00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:08,455
- Our witness, Kelly O'Brien--
- She sounds like a bitch.
79
00:04:08,456 --> 00:04:11,667
She was a little thick,
and she wasn't super nice.
80
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:12,876
- She wasn't super nice.
- That's true.
81
00:04:12,877 --> 00:04:15,170
But maybe you
got off on the wrong foot
82
00:04:15,171 --> 00:04:16,589
because what were you doing
in the produce section?
83
00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:22,010
I was trying fruit on.
84
00:04:22,011 --> 00:04:24,805
Mm-hmm.
That's exactly what we got.
85
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,473
- Oh, [bleep]. God!
- You see?
86
00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:28,558
Let him go. Let him go.
87
00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:30,394
'I didn't think
you could skate on grass.'
88
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,688
'Look at that
son of a bitch go.'
89
00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:39,528
- What about Gary?
- Oh! What about Gary?
90
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:41,697
- What about Gary...
- Oh, I'm Gary.
91
00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:44,282
...whose voice-over business
is being lost to India
92
00:04:44,283 --> 00:04:47,160
who I saw at the gym
two weeks ago nearly in tears
93
00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:49,871
about his loss of income?
94
00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:52,916
We all know that Deb...
95
00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:56,003
...was worth over...
96
00:04:56,004 --> 00:05:00,215
...four hundred...
thousand dollars.
97
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,719
Four hundred thousand
US dollars.
98
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:06,013
Let me tell you something
99
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:10,183
that I have
never told anyone else.
100
00:05:10,184 --> 00:05:13,562
Some miss lady told me
in confidence
101
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:16,732
that she was really
102
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:19,944
Debbie Dangle's sister!
103
00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:32,456
Hey. Are you arresting him?
104
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:35,917
- Yes, I am. He's--
- That's awesome.
105
00:05:35,918 --> 00:05:38,420
- Just stay back, sir.
- Okay. I'll stay back.
106
00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:40,630
I-I-I want to be you someday
107
00:05:40,631 --> 00:05:42,716
when I pass the test
to be a cop.
108
00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:44,468
You want to see my gun?
I got a gun.
109
00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:46,136
- Whoa, whoa!
- Whoa, hey!
110
00:05:46,137 --> 00:05:47,763
Oh, ha, ha. Whoa.
111
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:48,972
You got a permit for that thing?
112
00:05:48,973 --> 00:05:51,391
Yeah, of course, I got a permit.
113
00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:53,435
- Sweet!
- Yeah.
114
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:54,770
- This is nice.
- Yeah.
115
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:56,021
- Uh-oh.
- Uh-oh.
116
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:58,774
- My gun's bigger than yours.
- Yours is bigger than mine.
117
00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:00,108
Whoa.
118
00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:02,110
- So you want to be a cop, huh?
- Yeah.
119
00:06:02,111 --> 00:06:03,487
Okay. It ain't as easy
as you might think.
120
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,530
I want to be...
My dad wanted to be one.
121
00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:07,407
But he was in jail
so he couldn't be.
122
00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:09,284
And I'm on Fluoxetine.
123
00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:11,870
It's like Prozac
but for poor people.
124
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:14,331
Look, if you ever try to
get on the force...
125
00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:16,625
You don't want to mention
any mental disabilities.
126
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:18,460
Everyone's got a little
bit of [bleep] up, okay?
127
00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:19,461
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
128
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:22,130
- It's a fine line, you know?
- Yeah.
129
00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:23,632
But as long as you know
how to navigate it, which I do
130
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,634
don't bring it up.
131
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:28,804
- Oh, okay. Okay, thanks.
- Alright.
132
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:29,471
Okay, dirt bag,
time to go to jail.
133
00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:32,015
Yeah, time to go to jail.
134
00:06:32,016 --> 00:06:33,642
Dirt bag.
135
00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:35,977
Hey, do you want me
to take him to jail?
136
00:06:35,978 --> 00:06:38,563
I got a badge.
I found it in a cop car.
137
00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:40,190
My name is James Dangle.
138
00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:41,608
You're under arrest.
Get in the back of the car.
139
00:06:41,609 --> 00:06:45,987
Awesome!
I'll read myself my rights.
140
00:06:45,988 --> 00:06:47,864
I have the right
to remain silent.
141
00:06:53,871 --> 00:06:55,372
'She's my half-sister
and she did'
142
00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:56,790
'try to kill me several times
when we were kids'
143
00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:57,999
but I didn't want her dead.
144
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,669
- Deb was your half-sister?
- Yeah. It was 'cause our dad...
145
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:03,964
My mom was raped by...
It's a long story.
146
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:05,507
- By American Indians.
- By an American Indian.
147
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:08,510
- On a souvenir hunt.
- Right. He also raped her mom.
148
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:09,845
'Wow.'
149
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:12,639
But I did not want to kill her,
and I did not want her dead
150
00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,015
and I did not kill her.
151
00:07:14,016 --> 00:07:17,477
However, I had a conversation
152
00:07:17,478 --> 00:07:17,687
with someone in this room...
153
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:23,567
...someone who shall
remain nameless.
154
00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:25,652
Jim Dangle!
155
00:07:26,737 --> 00:07:29,614
Isn't it true...
156
00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:32,742
...that you told me
on the telephone
157
00:07:32,743 --> 00:07:35,579
not four days ago...
158
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:39,749
...that you were thinking about
buying new shoes for yourself
159
00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:42,712
perhaps in brown,
maybe even in black?
160
00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:46,715
I did. And I... I got them
in that Zappos place online.
161
00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:48,383
- They're nice.
- They're like...
162
00:07:48,384 --> 00:07:49,885
- The-these were not even--
- That's all I could think of.
163
00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:50,760
- That's all I got.
- They were half the list price.
164
00:07:50,761 --> 00:07:53,221
- Do you guys ever go to Zappos?
- Oh, yes.
165
00:07:53,222 --> 00:07:54,556
- Outstanding.
- Next day.
166
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:55,932
Fabulous shoes.
They're there the next day.
167
00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:57,851
You type in what you want.
You type in your size.
168
00:07:57,852 --> 00:08:00,228
If you do it after you've been
drinking, it's like magic.
169
00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:14,242
'And I suppose
you all suspect me'
170
00:08:14,243 --> 00:08:17,330
because everyone knows that
Deb never changed her will.
171
00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:21,082
Well, you are
the only one with a gun.
172
00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:25,587
He's gonna kill me
to shut me up!
173
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:27,798
Is that what you're gonna do?
Well, it won't work!
174
00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:32,761
Okay, for real, this is a prop.
This is a prop gun.
175
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:34,930
Because I was gonna kill
the corpse with it.
176
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:36,640
- Why do you have a gun, Leslie?
- This is real. This is re...
177
00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:40,268
I knew I had to defend myself
when I came here tonight.
178
00:08:40,269 --> 00:08:41,102
The last time
I was at your trailer
179
00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:44,064
I saw you'd been
stock piling cyanide.
180
00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:45,315
What?
181
00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:48,735
It's true.
182
00:08:48,736 --> 00:08:52,447
It's true,
but that is because we have
183
00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:54,825
{\an8}a very serious
possum infestation...
184
00:08:56,535 --> 00:08:57,911
...in the trailer park.
185
00:08:57,912 --> 00:08:59,663
And I knew I wanted to get rid
of those little buggers...
186
00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:02,123
...once and for all.
187
00:09:02,124 --> 00:09:04,459
That's why I had it and it has
nothing to do with the fact
188
00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:05,168
that Deb never changed her will.
189
00:09:05,169 --> 00:09:08,964
And I know that because I went
190
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:10,882
to the Washoe County Hall
of records
191
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:11,633
to do some investigating.
192
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:14,010
You can do that online now.
193
00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:15,804
- Can you really?
- Yeah.
194
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:16,805
You can do most
everything online now.
195
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,807
Can you look up any records,
birth certificates?
196
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:23,436
I found my great-uncle's
birth certificate online.
197
00:09:23,437 --> 00:09:24,980
The Mormons.
The Mormons do it for free.
198
00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,481
Oh, the Mormons. Yeah.
199
00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:50,506
What's goin' on?
200
00:09:50,506 --> 00:09:53,550
Oh, it's a,
it's a, a sting operation.
201
00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:54,926
Uh, big problem
in the Russian community.
202
00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:58,388
They have these sex lines
with underage girls.
203
00:09:58,389 --> 00:09:59,639
Totally illegal.
204
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:00,724
We're trying to
trace this guy.
205
00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:02,810
They're the victims.
They're the victims.
206
00:10:14,822 --> 00:10:16,239
- Oh, okay.
- Oh.
207
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,366
- That's--
- Da!
208
00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:31,838
Okay, okay, we're gonna
make him go too early.
209
00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:33,381
'We're gonna
blow him too early.'
210
00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:35,091
I, I think, I think, maybe
you better tell this boy
211
00:10:35,092 --> 00:10:36,926
that you're a little, tiny,
underage, naughty school girl.
212
00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:38,720
- Yeah.
- That's a good point.
213
00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:41,181
- We could nail him on this.
- That's right.
214
00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:43,933
And maybe, tell him,
tell him that
215
00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:46,853
five and a half inches
is plenty big.
216
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:52,901
What, what are you doing?
217
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,235
- Uh...
- Uh...
218
00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:57,113
Workin' on that underage
phone sex sting, sarge.
219
00:10:57,114 --> 00:10:58,573
- Phone sex sting operation.
- All over it.
220
00:10:58,574 --> 00:10:59,949
That's federal. That's FCC.
221
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:04,079
Which is why we're all over it.
222
00:11:07,666 --> 00:11:09,084
It's a real slow day here.
223
00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:13,254
Tell the guy, like, you, you,
you've been a bad girl...
224
00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:14,589
Uh, give you a spankin'.
225
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:23,056
'Let me take you back in time.'
226
00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:27,478
Back in time to
a young scientist...
227
00:11:28,687 --> 00:11:30,898
...named La Fontaine Williams.
228
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:34,109
La Fontaine Williams
229
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:37,112
just a young scientist working
230
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,947
for the Fillmore
Vacuum Cleaner Company.
231
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:41,992
'The company that belonged
to Debbie's father.'
232
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:47,288
{\an8}La Fontaine Williams,
father of Raineesha Williams!
233
00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:52,711
And was he or was he not...
234
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:57,298
...the inventor of
235
00:11:57,299 --> 00:11:59,801
the couch sucky attachment?
236
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:02,303
The attach...
What do you call them?
237
00:12:02,304 --> 00:12:04,514
- The sucky couch...
- The couch...
238
00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:07,642
The sucky couch attachment!
Yes, he was!
239
00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:11,354
Yes, he was and, yes,
Deb's people
240
00:12:11,355 --> 00:12:13,481
stole from my family!
241
00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:14,816
Yes, they did.
242
00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:15,984
But that doesn't mean
I killed her.
243
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:19,279
White people steal from
black people all the time.
244
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,864
Our hair care products,
our dances...
245
00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:24,159
- The blues. Rock and roll.
- All kinds of stuff.
246
00:12:25,744 --> 00:12:27,997
I'm going to get the door!
247
00:12:29,373 --> 00:12:29,998
- Adorable, fun.
- So funny.
248
00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:32,834
Oh, even at a time like this
249
00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:34,669
it's just fun
to have her around.
250
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:35,837
They're like walking angels.
251
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:39,174
Welcome to the Caribbean, baby.
252
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:40,842
Aho!
253
00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:43,178
You said it was
a dress-up party.
254
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:44,846
'Okay, so this is...
I meant, I meant...'
255
00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:46,347
By the way, just, just dress up.
256
00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:48,183
Dress-up party, you said.
Be there at 8:00.
257
00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:49,893
Dress-up party.
Pigs in blankets.
258
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:52,103
Okay, A, it's almost 9:45.
259
00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:53,062
B, you're dressed
like Captain Jack.
260
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:55,690
I almost went as Iron Man,
but it was, like
261
00:12:55,691 --> 00:12:57,358
a hundred and sixty five bucks
for a good one.
262
00:12:57,359 --> 00:12:58,401
- Okay!
- Borrowed this one.
263
00:12:58,402 --> 00:12:59,444
Super. Bar is that way.
264
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:01,488
And then, let's talk
about this on Monday too.
265
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,698
Uh, uh,
my ex-wife and his ex-wife
266
00:13:03,699 --> 00:13:05,533
and his current wife is dead.
267
00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:07,076
Yeah. Murder mystery dinner.
I get it.
268
00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:08,786
- No, she's really dead.
- No, no, no, she's dead.
269
00:13:08,787 --> 00:13:09,496
Yeah, get it.
Murder mystery dinner.
270
00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:11,206
- 'Really dead.'
- 'She died.'
271
00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:12,916
Oooh. I get it.
What you want to drink?
272
00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:15,877
Steppin' over you, Mrs. Dangle.
273
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:18,213
Don't step in that. That's real.
274
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,761
How many times has
this happened to you?
275
00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:26,054
You use your credit card
276
00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:28,765
to purchase pornography
on the internet.
277
00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:31,768
Or for adult themed
board games or novelty items.
278
00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:35,063
And then you're
getting credit card bills
279
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:38,400
for motor boats and fancy trips
to Paris, France.
280
00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:40,902
What happened?
281
00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:44,405
You are a victim
of identity theft.
282
00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:46,575
That's why I always use...
283
00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:49,452
...a secure ID
284
00:13:49,453 --> 00:13:51,579
the Master Bait Charge Card.
285
00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:54,457
The card that's only
for pornography.
286
00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:58,086
No more fancy trips
or boats on me.
287
00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:00,297
Thank you, Master Bait Card.
288
00:14:02,049 --> 00:14:05,051
The Master Bait
Charge Card, that is.
289
00:14:05,052 --> 00:14:08,221
Protect your good name
with a master bait
290
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:11,559
porno only personal
credit card for him or her.
291
00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:19,774
- Whoa! Hello, ma'am.
- Hi.
292
00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:21,943
Hi. Oh, hi.
293
00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:23,945
- Hi, boo.
- Hi.
294
00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:24,529
- Hi.
- Hi.
295
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,155
I really... I'm really...
296
00:14:26,156 --> 00:14:28,283
I'm really, I'm really,
really, really glad
297
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:29,951
that you're here
because I was in distress.
298
00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:33,246
- Okay. Wh-wh-what's--
- Damsel in distress.
299
00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:35,248
What is the nature
of your emergency, ma'am?
300
00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:38,085
I was hoping that you could
help me bust up a chifforobe.
301
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:43,006
I'll give you a dollar.
302
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:45,633
Ma'am, I'm a,
I'm a police officer.
303
00:14:45,634 --> 00:14:49,512
- I'm here for emergency...
- And this is an emergency.
304
00:14:49,513 --> 00:14:53,141
And I-I'm not here to bust
up chifforobes or...
305
00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:54,809
Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
306
00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:58,354
You would not be here
if you did not feel
307
00:14:58,355 --> 00:15:00,148
what I feel, like,
what I feel right now.
308
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:03,151
Like the birds are humming
in the background.
309
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:05,153
The air is perfect, okay?
310
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:07,030
I just finished spaghetti.
311
00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:09,115
Like, everything is working out.
312
00:15:09,116 --> 00:15:12,160
Lady, listen, um...
313
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:13,369
Thank you for calling me a lady.
314
00:15:13,370 --> 00:15:14,579
I can't--
315
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:16,414
That only makes me like
you so much more
316
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,207
because you are
a gentleman, you know?
317
00:15:18,208 --> 00:15:21,419
Like, there are so
few gentlemen out there
318
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:24,631
especially gentlemen that
are willing to come here
319
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:27,133
and bust up
a chifforobe for a dollar.
320
00:15:27,134 --> 00:15:30,011
Like, that is really ju...
321
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:32,013
Don't follow me.
322
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:35,016
See you tomorrow!
323
00:15:37,394 --> 00:15:39,813
I should have never
put my [bleep] in her.
324
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,899
See, that's my fault.
Shame on me.
325
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:44,442
Shame on me.
326
00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:58,915
Look, I'm, uh, really
sorry about your loss.
327
00:15:58,916 --> 00:15:59,916
It's never easy.
328
00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:01,417
We're gonna run outside
329
00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:03,336
do a quick toxicology report.
330
00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:05,673
We'll be back in, and, and um...
331
00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:08,716
Captain Jack?
332
00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:10,761
He said it was a dress-up party.
333
00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:16,224
Oh, give it a rest.
Give it a rest!
334
00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:17,892
Give it a rest.
335
00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:21,062
Well, nobody asked me,
but the one with
336
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:24,233
the most motive to kill
Debbie Dangle Frost...
337
00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:26,234
- 'Williams.'
- What?
338
00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:28,736
Revenge is sweet,
ain't it, Williams?
339
00:16:28,737 --> 00:16:29,946
No. I...
340
00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:31,781
Especially since
your daddy did have
341
00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:34,617
the patent
on the Fillmore vacuum nozzle
342
00:16:34,618 --> 00:16:38,079
that would make you
worth over $400,000
343
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,081
and you'd never have
to sheriff again, would you?
344
00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:41,249
What jus... No.
345
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:44,460
But what you know
and what you told me once
346
00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:47,046
when you were really drunk, but
you probably don't remember is
347
00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:50,258
your dad also pulled out
a patent on mousetrap
348
00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:52,802
the board game
and that was eight, nine years
349
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,554
after Parker Brothers
had it on the shelves.
350
00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:57,056
He tried to patent beaver shots
351
00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:59,225
just the term
beaver shots, three peat
352
00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:02,937
uh, way after Phil Jackson
had the patent.
353
00:17:02,938 --> 00:17:05,314
Yeah. Bat[bleep] crazy bananas.
354
00:17:05,315 --> 00:17:06,274
So cross you off the list
355
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:09,278
and that brings
us to Trudy Wiegel.
356
00:17:11,321 --> 00:17:14,782
Debbie really did treat you
like a [bleep], didn't she?
357
00:17:14,783 --> 00:17:16,117
Really, really,
really horrible.
358
00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:19,620
But what people in the room
don't know and only you do know
359
00:17:19,621 --> 00:17:21,414
is that when she was
having all that problems
360
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:23,458
from the gastric bypass surgery
361
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:25,084
Trudy gave her a kidney.
362
00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:26,252
I did, I also tried to
give her my gall bladder
363
00:17:26,253 --> 00:17:28,629
but it, it had
already been removed.
364
00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:30,590
Didn't want it,
didn't need one, didn't want it.
365
00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:33,426
That brings us to
Leslie over here.
366
00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:35,303
Real good motive, considering
that he probably thought
367
00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:38,514
that he was still in her will.
368
00:17:38,515 --> 00:17:40,141
But what people here
don't know is
369
00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:43,186
that your father's a pretty
well known politician
370
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:45,188
and he pays Leslie Frost here
371
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:50,026
a stipend of $40,000 a month
372
00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:52,488
to stay out of
Hartford, Connecticut.
373
00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:55,531
That brings us to big boy here.
374
00:17:55,532 --> 00:17:58,743
'Obviously a man like this
would only marry a lady'
375
00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:00,870
like Debbie Dangle
for money, but...
376
00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:01,662
Puh-leez.
377
00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:03,956
The reason
that I was late to this
378
00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:05,208
fancy, little accusatory fest
379
00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:07,668
you got going here is
I was out behind
380
00:18:07,669 --> 00:18:09,337
the dumpster with Cindy,
finishing a Mickey's
381
00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:10,338
'big mouth,
I was hoping to parlay'
382
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:12,340
into a [bleep] job.
383
00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:14,675
And that's when I heard
384
00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:16,803
this young gentleman
385
00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:19,890
'Debbie Dangle Frost
eight ways till Sunday.'
386
00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:21,849
Guilty.
387
00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:24,685
I hate to blow your cover,
but this man
388
00:18:24,686 --> 00:18:25,394
flaming heterosexual.
389
00:18:25,395 --> 00:18:27,522
- Flaming.
- 'Oh, [bleep]!'
390
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,357
{\an8}You could hear it in his voice.
Oh, [bleep].
391
00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:31,776
- Car rockin'.
- Oh, I love [bleep].
392
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:33,194
'That explains a lot.'
393
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,862
'And that only leaves
one person.'
394
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,826
Jim Dangle.
395
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:52,713
'Jim Dangle, who two days ago'
396
00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:54,841
went to the hall of records
to verify
397
00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:58,094
that he was indeed still
the sole benefactor
398
00:18:58,095 --> 00:19:01,556
of Debbie Dangle's will,
which he was.
399
00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:04,725
Not only is his trailer
full of cyanide
400
00:19:04,726 --> 00:19:08,563
he also, two weekends
ago, volunteered
401
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:10,898
to take an unpaid
402
00:19:10,899 --> 00:19:12,400
toxicology course
at the sheriff's department
403
00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:14,569
down in Carson City.
404
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:18,531
Unpaid eight hours on a weekend
to study toxicology.
405
00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:19,699
'I love my job.'
406
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,450
A man with that much cyanide.
407
00:19:21,451 --> 00:19:24,245
A man with that certificate
408
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:27,456
in toxicology
and it wasn't really a degree
409
00:19:27,457 --> 00:19:29,083
it was just
a little certificate
410
00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:30,501
that they issued to you
411
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:32,920
would know that if you drank
one glass of white wine
412
00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:35,298
{\an8}you'd be fine,
two, you'd be okay
413
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:38,426
but if you snorted down half
a bottle like the water buffalo
414
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:42,054
that was Debbie Dangle Frost
415
00:19:42,055 --> 00:19:44,599
you'd be as dead...
416
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:48,060
Well, as dead as
Debbie Dangle Frost.
417
00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:50,771
Take him away,
Williams. Yes.
418
00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:52,523
Put it down.
It's a prop, you idiot.
419
00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:55,276
- You already told us.
- What? You was gonna shoot me?
420
00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:59,113
I panicked. I was...
I panicked. Sorry.
421
00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:02,658
Yous got the right
to remain silent
422
00:20:02,659 --> 00:20:04,619
and anythings you say
423
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:08,497
shall be used against
you in a court of law.
424
00:20:08,498 --> 00:20:09,498
You can drop the act, Dangle.
425
00:20:09,499 --> 00:20:11,292
- Oh, my gosh.
- Well, we ran a report.
426
00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:14,295
And, uh, it seems that
427
00:20:14,296 --> 00:20:16,631
little miss former fatty
428
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:18,341
had one too many pigs
in a blanket.
429
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:20,968
It compromised the integrity
of her lower bowel.
430
00:20:20,969 --> 00:20:22,428
Her stomach exploded.
The staples came out.
431
00:20:22,429 --> 00:20:23,971
It's not murder.
432
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,807
- Oh. Wow.
- No, no, no.
433
00:20:26,808 --> 00:20:29,143
Don't worry. She was a real
of a woman.
434
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:33,356
'Hey, let's not tell Dangle.'
435
00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:35,316
'Stir-fried mice.'
436
00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:42,491
I was at...
437
00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:45,868
The, the chicken
and skate.
438
00:20:45,869 --> 00:20:46,494
You were at the chicken
and skate. Okay.
439
00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:48,663
Kids skate
in a little rink
440
00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:50,331
and they skate around
and then they would have the guy
441
00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:51,832
with the little
chicken and he would go...
442
00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:53,209
And he would throw
chicken at you.
443
00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:55,628
Oh, what a great place
to take the family.
444
00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:57,838
It was so perfect
for families.
445
00:20:57,839 --> 00:20:59,632
- Yeah.
- It was perfect for families.
446
00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:00,383
My fa... My dad used
to bring me there.
447
00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:03,511
Yeah, it makes me
sad nowadays
448
00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:05,346
that there ain't a place
where you can skate
449
00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:06,806
and have people...
450
00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:08,015
...throw their chicken at you.
451
00:21:08,016 --> 00:21:09,184
'I'm getting all nostalgic.'
33560
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof