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1
00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:07,256
Okay!
2
00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:09,300
Today, we're jumping the shark.
3
00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:13,762
'Uh, yeah. That's right.'
4
00:00:13,763 --> 00:00:15,264
We're jumping the
damn shark to fight autism.
5
00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:17,766
Today we got it all worked out
6
00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:19,309
and here we go.
7
00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:21,770
- Third time's a charm.
- Good eye.
8
00:00:21,771 --> 00:00:22,981
'I'm not sure about this.'
9
00:00:28,486 --> 00:00:29,653
Yeah!
10
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:32,614
'Oh, my God!'
11
00:00:32,615 --> 00:00:34,116
'We got an officer down again.'
12
00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:35,409
'He's spitting up blood!'
13
00:00:36,828 --> 00:00:38,746
{\an8}Sheriff's department, freeze!
Get on the ground.
14
00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:39,163
Freeze!
15
00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:46,629
Oh!
16
00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:50,091
{\an8}What? What?
17
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:52,510
{\an8}Alright.
18
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:55,262
{\an8}This is not a show!
19
00:00:55,263 --> 00:00:56,264
{\an8}No, no!
20
00:00:59,058 --> 00:01:01,144
{\an8}Hell, no! We won't blow!
21
00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:04,313
{\an8}Yeah!
22
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:06,107
{\an8}He's my friend.
23
00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:24,124
{\an8}- 'Good morning, gang.'
- 'Morning.'
24
00:01:24,125 --> 00:01:26,376
{\an8}'If you see cats
in the building today'
25
00:01:26,377 --> 00:01:28,003
{\an8}these are working cats.
26
00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:29,296
Do not interfere with them.
27
00:01:29,297 --> 00:01:32,841
Honestly, I think the
vermin control people
28
00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:33,509
were just out of ideas.
29
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:37,846
So they're going old school.
30
00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:39,264
Uh, Junior and Garcia,
today's the day...
31
00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:41,141
- 'Hoy es la dia.'
- Yeah.
32
00:01:41,142 --> 00:01:43,685
We just wanted to stop by and
give everybody one last chance
33
00:01:43,686 --> 00:01:45,479
to come along with us.
34
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,648
Gonna be gone for two days
35
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:48,398
gonna be down on the border.
36
00:01:48,399 --> 00:01:50,526
I think
if we could go down there
37
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:52,110
with a contingency
of eight, it would
38
00:01:52,111 --> 00:01:53,946
really make Washoe County
look real good.
39
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,489
- Going down there to do what?
- 'What's the program?'
40
00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:58,367
We are doing the "Good Fences
Make Good Neighbors Program."
41
00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:00,202
Basically, we are
gonna build together
42
00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:01,370
one eighth of a mile of fencing
43
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:04,706
on the Mexican border to help
keep out Mexicans.
44
00:02:04,707 --> 00:02:05,749
'It's symbolic.'
45
00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:07,042
They're trying
to send down a team
46
00:02:07,043 --> 00:02:08,335
from every county in the nation.
47
00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:09,336
And county by county,
one eighth by one eighth
48
00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:11,380
we'll have
a whole wall there, from--
49
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:12,548
So you're building
a symbolic wall?
50
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:15,175
So it's not really, you're
just sort of pantomiming it?
51
00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:15,676
No, it's a real--
52
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,386
No, it's a real...
53
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:21,515
...Home Depot material wall
that will symbolize, you know...
54
00:02:21,516 --> 00:02:23,851
It won't actually symbolize,
it's literal.
55
00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:25,018
- 'It's both.'
- It's both.
56
00:02:25,019 --> 00:02:26,728
- It's symbolic and literal.
- Yeah.
57
00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:29,440
If I could be
the voice of smartness
58
00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:32,442
I think it's wrong.
59
00:02:32,443 --> 00:02:34,027
- In what way?
- In what way?
60
00:02:34,028 --> 00:02:35,404
- 'In all ways.'
- 'Enlighten us.'
61
00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:36,780
I believe that
62
00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:39,366
all people of all cultures...
63
00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:40,492
colors, creeds have come to--
64
00:02:40,493 --> 00:02:43,203
'I have a dream!'
65
00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:45,414
I gots a dream. We know.
66
00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:47,416
It's, basically, like,
you're going out to the desert
67
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:49,418
with a bunch of guys
and beers and doing...
68
00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:52,087
It's like Burning Man
69
00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:54,298
for-for right-wing rednecks.
70
00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:55,799
Yeah. We'll be shooting
guns, too, though.
71
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,259
- 'Yeah.'
- Oh, yeah.
72
00:03:00,179 --> 00:03:01,722
{\an8}We got a 911 call
73
00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:03,765
{\an8}up here at the National Forest
74
00:03:03,766 --> 00:03:06,768
{\an8}'from one of the rangers,
I guess that's him right here.'
75
00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:08,562
- 'Hey!'
- Hurry, hurry, hurry!
76
00:03:08,563 --> 00:03:09,479
- Hurry, hurry, hurry.
- 'Sheriff's department.'
77
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:12,274
I got bit. I think
it was a rattlesnake.
78
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:14,610
I don't know for sure, but I
don't have a snake bite kit...
79
00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:16,904
I don't know how long
it takes for the venom--
80
00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:18,530
- Okay, okay, okay.
- Calm down, sir. Where was it?
81
00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:19,781
Where did you get bit, sir?
82
00:03:19,782 --> 00:03:21,200
Where did you get...
83
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:22,451
It kind of leaped out, look.
84
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:26,288
- Oh, whoa.
- See?
85
00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:27,456
Thank God I'm shaved,
you can probably see the bite
86
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,584
a lot easier.
87
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,085
Look a little closer,
by the taint
88
00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:33,295
'Hey, guys,
Sheriff's department.'
89
00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:34,504
What's going on here?
90
00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:36,632
This gentleman seems
to have been bit--
91
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:38,175
I got bit by a rattlesnake.
92
00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:39,843
You guys got to move quickly.
93
00:03:39,844 --> 00:03:42,137
- Oh, my God.
- Look, look, look.
94
00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:43,847
You know, if one of you
peels back the foreskin
95
00:03:43,848 --> 00:03:45,599
it should be easier to see.
96
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,476
- Well, no.
- No, it isn't.
97
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,478
If you didn't have so much
ball powder on there--
98
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:50,479
- That's the foreskin?
- It'd be easier to see.
99
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,315
Oh! You know what? Oh!
Feeling a lot better.
100
00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:55,944
Thank you very much.
You were great.
101
00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:06,286
I called you guys
about some guy out here
102
00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:07,455
showing people his wiener.
103
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,925
{\an8}- Oh, oh.
- Oh, hello, Yuma!
104
00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:21,343
{\an8}Hola, hombres.
105
00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:22,511
- Hey!
- 'What's up, man?'
106
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,805
- 'Jimmy, man.'
- Hey, Lyle.
107
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:25,681
Man, how's your mama doing?
108
00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:27,724
- She's alright, you know.
- She good?
109
00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:28,517
- Yeah.
- Do you see her a lot?
110
00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:30,978
Her boob's back on.
111
00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:31,937
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
112
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,522
They figured out a way
to put it back on there.
113
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:35,482
Yeah, you saved it on
an ice chest or what?
114
00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:38,360
Yeah. We saved it on ice,
we froze it.
115
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:39,194
And then they thawed it out
116
00:04:39,195 --> 00:04:41,196
and figured out a way
to sew it back on.
117
00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:42,823
That was terrible,
when I heard about that thing.
118
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:43,699
It was my fault. It was my bad.
119
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:45,534
- It was an accident.
- Yeah, well.
120
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:47,119
You know, water under
the bridge. Water...
121
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,079
- Good to see you again.
- Yeah, I hear you.
122
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:50,038
Greatest damn country on Earth.
123
00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:52,040
You know what's great
about this country
124
00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:53,709
is that just like our
forefathers before us
125
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:55,419
Benjamin Franklin
probably stood
126
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,379
on a spot similar to this one
127
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:58,922
and said to himself,
"Let's [bleep] it.
128
00:04:58,923 --> 00:05:00,674
Let's make a country,"
and that's what
129
00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:02,884
we're doing right now,
we're making a country.
130
00:05:02,885 --> 00:05:06,221
"I pledge allegiance
to the flag...
131
00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:08,725
"...of the United States
of America.
132
00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:10,892
"And to the Republic
133
00:05:10,893 --> 00:05:12,853
"for which it stands
134
00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:14,146
"one nation...
135
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:17,065
- "Undivisible!
- Oh, dear God!
136
00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:17,607
"With liberty
137
00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:19,527
and justice for all."
138
00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:29,870
Sweet.
139
00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:32,039
- Hey, Joe!'
- Hey, Jim.'
140
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,499
How them roller blades
working out?
141
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,460
- They're alright.
- 'Look at this.'
142
00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:38,920
'They still do lemonade
stands.'
143
00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:40,547
'They do.'
144
00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:42,591
'You know
what I'm talking about.'
145
00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:44,718
The Orientals are more
industrious than us.
146
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:46,762
Look at that. Look at you go.
147
00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,222
You know what?
I'm a little bit light.
148
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:51,267
- How about a freebee?
- No.
149
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,310
- What?
- No.
150
00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:55,312
- No? You said no?
- No. No.
151
00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:56,897
- To a freebee?
- No.
152
00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:57,648
- Law enforcement discount.
- No.
153
00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:00,776
- No?
- No.
154
00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:04,821
- Come on. Come on.
- No. No.
155
00:06:04,822 --> 00:06:06,239
- Come on!
- No.
156
00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:07,783
Do you know that
you need a license
157
00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:09,493
to operate a business
in Washoe County?
158
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:10,744
Do you know that?
159
00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:12,287
You got a food
and beverage license?
160
00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:12,705
Huh? Do ya?
161
00:06:14,665 --> 00:06:17,960
Aah! Ah-ah! Oh, my God!
162
00:06:21,422 --> 00:06:22,798
Aah!
163
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,981
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
164
00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:46,655
What else can we shoot?
Let's shoot something else.
165
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:48,573
- How about the gas can?
- That's a good idea.
166
00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:49,783
Yeah! How 'bout that?
167
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:51,034
'Find a good spot, Lyle.'
168
00:06:51,035 --> 00:06:51,952
'If you hit it at the bottom'
169
00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:54,538
you'll blow up the
whole "Hugo" there.
170
00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:56,665
Grab ole Condi Rice there,
see what she'll do.
171
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:59,417
- Alright, Condi.
- 'Alright, Jimmy Jam!'
172
00:06:59,418 --> 00:07:00,836
- Yoo!
- 'Alright.'
173
00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:03,463
Vaya con dios, gas can.
174
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:10,679
♪ Let's make America
what it used to be ♪
175
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,347
I think you just missed
176
00:07:12,348 --> 00:07:14,558
about 400 times
in less than four seconds.
177
00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:15,725
That's got to be some
kind of [bleep] damn record.
178
00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:22,983
{\an8}Uh, we have a very serious
problem here in Reno
179
00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:25,277
{\an8}on the public
transportation system
180
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:28,238
with older, creepy
pedophiles and perverts
181
00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:30,615
groping our young ladies
182
00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:32,367
on their way to and from school.
183
00:07:32,368 --> 00:07:34,536
We have a small camera here
184
00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:36,872
in this package
of Rex cigarettes.
185
00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:38,415
{\an8}Testing, one, two, three, four.
186
00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:41,918
{\an8}The lips, the tip of
the tongue, the teeth.
187
00:07:41,919 --> 00:07:44,546
Here's our jailbait herself,
Trudy Wiegel--
188
00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:45,881
- Hello!
- Dressed as a school mistress.
189
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,048
Here we go, here's the bus.
190
00:07:47,049 --> 00:07:49,343
And we shall snap into action.
191
00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:50,761
Alright.
192
00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:52,805
Okay, good.
193
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,309
{\an8}Echo base to Ladybug.
194
00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:59,728
{\an8}Check, check,
I can hear you fine.
195
00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:01,021
{\an8}- Work it.
- Uh-oh.
196
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,064
{\an8}I just dropped
my delicious lollipop
197
00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:06,026
{\an8}that I was gonna
eat with my tongue.
198
00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:07,903
{\an8}Oh, I can get it.
199
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:09,779
{\an8}And he is... I can't
read him from here.
200
00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:11,907
{\an8}I can't read him from here,
I can't read him from h...
201
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:12,742
{\an8}Oh. We lost him, we lost him.
202
00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:16,077
{\an8}We lost him.
203
00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:17,704
Hawaiian Shirt
wanted to tug one off on you.
204
00:08:17,705 --> 00:08:19,581
{\an8}Go, do it, work it.
205
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:22,542
{\an8}Gosh, it's even more bouncy
up here than it is back there.
206
00:08:22,543 --> 00:08:24,753
{\an8}I don't know how you guys
are even standing still.
207
00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:27,255
{\an8}Excellent. I'm ready to pounce.
208
00:08:27,256 --> 00:08:28,757
{\an8}My boobs are going
all over the place.
209
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:31,885
{\an8}- It's so bouncy up here.
- Excellent.
210
00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:33,386
{\an8}I can't see from my position.
211
00:08:33,387 --> 00:08:34,012
{\an8}Does he have
an erection, Ladybug?
212
00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:35,680
{\an8}Does he have an erection?
213
00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:39,267
{\an8}Oh! Excuse me. I'm so sorry.
214
00:08:39,268 --> 00:08:39,768
{\an8}- I don't see one.
- Hurry up.
215
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:42,562
{\an8}Give me an R, R.
216
00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:44,105
{\an8}- Give me an O, O.
- Excellent.
217
00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:44,981
{\an8}- Give me a C, C.
- Excellent.
218
00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:48,443
{\an8}Give me a D, D.
What does it spell?
219
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:50,779
{\an8}Rocd... rocd, rocd, rocd.
220
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,614
{\an8}I got my first
pubic hair this week.
221
00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:55,951
{\an8}My boob was out and all
the guys were looking
222
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:57,870
{\an8}and I was, like,
"It's totally cool with me"
223
00:08:59,538 --> 00:09:00,747
{\an8}"'cause I am loose
224
00:09:00,748 --> 00:09:03,458
{\an8}"and free with my body
225
00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:05,585
{\an8}like any girl my age should be."
226
00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:06,962
{\an8}- Miss?
- Yes?
227
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:09,839
{\an8}I'm not sure
those can hold your weight.
228
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:21,309
Our friends at the Washoe County
animal shelter
229
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:22,978
{\an8}have lots of furry friends
230
00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,981
{\an8}who are currently
available for adoption.
231
00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:27,816
{\an8}This here is Scooter.
232
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:29,943
{\an8}Scooter doesn't have a family
233
00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:33,363
{\an8}and he's looking for one
in the Reno, Tahoe area.
234
00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:35,782
{\an8}Scooter is a very smart dog.
235
00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:37,492
{\an8}In fact, Scooter is, like
236
00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:38,994
{\an8}a little detective himself.
237
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:40,662
{\an8}He led law emergency workers
238
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,122
{\an8}to where his old family had been
239
00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:45,292
{\an8}burned to death in a fire.
240
00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:46,794
{\an8}In fact, he even tried
to rescue one of them.
241
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:49,838
{\an8}But you didn't, did you?
242
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:51,631
{\an8}No, you didn't.
243
00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:53,633
{\an8}They're all burned and dead.
244
00:09:53,634 --> 00:09:56,344
{\an8}So, if you're looking
for a dog that's loyal
245
00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:58,513
{\an8}come on down... today.
246
00:09:58,514 --> 00:09:58,806
{\an8}The Washoe Co...C...
247
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,809
{\an8}The Washoe County animal shelter
248
00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:04,185
{\an8}where, every day
249
00:10:04,186 --> 00:10:05,646
{\an8}it's raining cats
250
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:07,481
{\an8}and dogs.
251
00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:17,866
{\an8}Hey, buddy.
252
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:20,869
{\an8}You're going three miles an hour
on a one-way street.
253
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,414
{\an8}And you got no lights on.
What's the problem?
254
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:26,583
{\an8} Okay.
255
00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:45,060
{\an8}Okay.
256
00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:47,145
{\an8}If you can just
step away from the light.
257
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:47,937
{\an8}I really need to give
you that ticket, okay?
258
00:10:47,938 --> 00:10:50,066
{\an8}It's the end of the month.
259
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,490
{\an8}And I was like, whoo!
260
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:01,910
{\an8}He's thinking about it.
261
00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:03,244
{\an8}It's not working, Jim.
262
00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:05,246
{\an8}Erection check.
263
00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:06,748
{\an8}I can't see. I can't see.
264
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:08,249
{\an8}I do not have a clear view of--
265
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:09,959
{\an8}I just perfected
my splits just now
266
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,837
{\an8}which is so weird,
it's such a strange time.
267
00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:18,301
{\an8}But, oh, my God.
I can barely get up.
268
00:11:18,302 --> 00:11:20,387
{\an8}Jim, this is Ladybug.
I need your help.
269
00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:22,765
{\an8}- I am stuck in--
- Ugh.
270
00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:24,808
{\an8}- Oh!
- Oh, thank you.
271
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:27,435
{\an8}I love being touched by older
272
00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:29,021
{\an8}adult gentlemen.
273
00:11:31,315 --> 00:11:32,900
{\an8}Excuse me?
You're an undercover cop, right?
274
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:37,070
{\an8}Um, that construction worker
275
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:39,698
{\an8}has been showing me his balls
since 2nd Avenue.
276
00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:47,580
{\an8}My theory about
the Latin invasion is this...
277
00:11:47,581 --> 00:11:48,998
{\an8}I don't care
if your back is wet
278
00:11:48,999 --> 00:11:52,085
{\an8}as long as your money
is green, okay?
279
00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:54,004
{\an8}I'm not gonna pick strawberries.
280
00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:58,092
{\an8}For my money, you know,
I don't care if you, if you...
281
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:00,719
{\an8}Raise the border
282
00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:05,348
{\an8}put that Mexican border
a little higher on the continent
283
00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:06,057
{\an8}just as long as you don't bring
284
00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:10,145
{\an8}the Canadian border down any.
285
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,522
{\an8}That's the problem.
286
00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:13,982
{\an8}Looks like we lost a couple
to the heat.
287
00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:15,984
{\an8}Couple of good guys.
288
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:18,987
{\an8}I don't blame 'em.
It's too hot to work, man.
289
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:21,114
{\an8}- Very hot.
- Didn't use to get this hot.
290
00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:22,699
{\an8} damn Al Gore.
291
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:23,491
{\an8}Yeah, Al Gore
292
00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:25,994
{\an8}done put
all the ozone in the air.
293
00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:27,287
{\an8}And next thing you know,
it's like
294
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:28,788
{\an8}we're living in a greenhouse.
295
00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:30,290
{\an8}You know, I think
our grandchildren
296
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:31,624
{\an8}are gonna be so happy
297
00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:33,835
{\an8}that we spent today...
298
00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:34,961
{\an8}- Working hard in this heat.
- That's right.
299
00:12:34,962 --> 00:12:37,630
{\an8}- Building a fence.
- Mm-hm.
300
00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:40,008
{\an8}So that they can
have white people
301
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,384
{\an8}busing their tables one day.
302
00:12:41,385 --> 00:12:42,302
{\an8}- That's right. You know?
- Mm-hmm.
303
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:44,597
{\an8}I didn't actually
take a day off work
304
00:12:45,639 --> 00:12:46,556
{\an8}'cause I can't work.
305
00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:47,765
{\an8}- Yeah.
- Really?
306
00:12:47,766 --> 00:12:49,685
{\an8}Nope. I can't. I got split lung.
307
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:51,728
{\an8}- Split lung?
- Yeah.
308
00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:54,230
{\an8}- You on worker's comp for that?
- Yeah. I got workman's comp.
309
00:12:54,231 --> 00:12:55,732
{\an8}I actually discovered it
310
00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:57,358
{\an8}'cause I was
at the Bologna factory.
311
00:12:57,359 --> 00:12:59,027
{\an8}And they was, like,
"Hey, we're gonna promote you.
312
00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:01,571
{\an8}We're gonna put you in charge
of the separation vat."
313
00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:03,031
{\an8}And I was, like, "That's
just gonna mean more work."
314
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:05,867
{\an8}And the next thing I know,
I got split lung.
315
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:09,037
{\an8}- And you know...
- Mm-hm.
316
00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:11,499
{\an8}I can't work. I have to lay down
every 20 minutes.
317
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:18,713
{\an8}Do you remember
anything at all?
318
00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:20,173
{\an8}I remember
319
00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:21,132
{\an8}that a bus driver
320
00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:23,051
{\an8}pointed me here
and said to come in.
321
00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:26,221
{\an8}- Mm-hmm.
- Because...
322
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:27,889
{\an8}He said I have that thing.
Oh, man...
323
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:30,058
{\an8}'Amnesia. You have amnesia.'
324
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:32,101
{\an8}I don't remember
what he called it.
325
00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:34,062
{\an8}Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I do remember.
326
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,605
{\an8}'Okay.'
327
00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:37,649
{\an8}- I have... I have a car.
- Okay.
328
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:38,066
{\an8}Does that give you
anything to go on?
329
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:40,235
{\an8}Go ahead.
330
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:41,903
{\an8}- It's black.
- Black car.
331
00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:43,071
{\an8}It's just a car, it's a black...
332
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:45,782
{\an8}I think it's a Trans Am,
I think.
333
00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:46,908
{\an8}- Okay.
- It talks. Its name is Kit.
334
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:48,952
{\an8}We go around the country
and we solve crimes--
335
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:51,287
{\an8}No, sir. No, no, no, no, no.
336
00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:52,956
{\an8}It talks. It's fast, too.
337
00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:54,916
{\an8}And it's got a top,
and I can...
338
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:57,919
{\an8}- No, sir. That's, that's--
- Michael Knight.
339
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,128
{\an8}- No. That's not--
- Write that down.
340
00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:01,923
{\an8}- That's the "Knight Rider."
- That's a television show.
341
00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:04,259
{\an8}- That's not your identity.
- You're right.
342
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:07,095
{\an8}Sir, you have a lot...
you have a lot of blood on you.
343
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:08,388
{\an8}Yeah.
344
00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:11,224
{\an8}Do you remember what happened
with the blood, how...
345
00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:13,101
{\an8}I got it in Vietnam,
I was in Vietnam
346
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,602
{\an8}with a crack commando squad
347
00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:16,229
{\an8}and we were falsely accused
and wrongly convicted
348
00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:17,230
{\an8}of a crime we didn't commit.
349
00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:20,275
{\an8}Now, we exist on
the Los Angeles Underground.
350
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:21,150
{\an8}- And if you can find us...
- Yeah.
351
00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:23,611
{\an8}Maybe you can hire...
352
00:14:23,612 --> 00:14:25,780
{\an8}Do you have a black
dude with a Mohawk?
353
00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:27,615
{\an8}- Yes.
- No, sir. No, you don't.
354
00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:30,285
{\an8}- No, that's, that's--
- How would you have known that?
355
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:31,786
{\an8}I'm Robert Siegel.
356
00:14:31,787 --> 00:14:33,162
{\an8}And I'm Linda Wertheimer.
357
00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:36,208
{\an8}"All Things Considered...
NPR."
358
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:40,169
{\an8}- Sir, you woke up this morning.
- Yeah.
359
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:42,255
{\an8}you put on your suit,
you were in your home
360
00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:44,966
{\an8}- Yeah.
- What happened after that?
361
00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:46,676
{\an8}- I do remember.
- Okay.
362
00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:47,385
{\an8}- 'Alright.'
- Ah.
363
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,763
{\an8}I killed my wife this morning.
364
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,651
{\an8}Hello, I'm gonna need a trustee
365
00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:06,487
{\an8}to follow a bloody white man
366
00:15:06,488 --> 00:15:07,822
{\an8}running around the station.
367
00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:08,906
{\an8}He doesn't know where he is.
368
00:15:08,907 --> 00:15:11,410
{\an8}Just bring him back... bring him
back here to Booking.
369
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:15,496
{\an8}Hi, the bus driver
370
00:15:15,497 --> 00:15:17,123
{\an8}said that I should come in here.
371
00:15:17,124 --> 00:15:18,499
{\an8}- Said I have that thing.
- 'Yeah.'
372
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:21,002
{\an8}Sure. You do. Yeah.
373
00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:33,056
{\an8}We got a report of a jumper
over on this bridge here.
374
00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:34,349
{\an8}'There he is.'
375
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,142
{\an8}- Go away.
- 'No.'
376
00:15:36,143 --> 00:15:38,519
{\an8}- Get out of here!
- 'Calm down, sir.'
377
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:39,854
{\an8}- 'Sir. Sir.'
- 'Stop it!'
378
00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:41,189
{\an8}- You don't want to do this.
- I'm crazy.
379
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:43,232
{\an8}- I'm going right now.
- Oh, you're crazy?
380
00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:44,567
{\an8}- You're crazy?
- Yeah, I am.
381
00:15:44,568 --> 00:15:46,152
{\an8}- Don't make him mad.
- No. I'm gonna jump.
382
00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:48,696
{\an8}No, I want to jump.
No, no, no, no. No, no...
383
00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:50,741
{\an8}- Hold it, please!
- No, no, no, no!
384
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,034
{\an8}I'm crazy!
385
00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,703
{\an8}No, no, no, no, no!
This is my bridge.
386
00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:57,705
{\an8}I was here first!
I was here... I was here...
387
00:15:57,706 --> 00:15:59,749
{\an8}You wanna do it?
I first!
388
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:01,709
{\an8}Get outta here! Oh.
389
00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:03,086
{\an8}- I saw this in a movie once.
- You're good.
390
00:16:12,596 --> 00:16:14,055
{\an8}Jones?
391
00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:16,557
{\an8}What the hell movie was that
you saw that in?
392
00:16:22,564 --> 00:16:24,148
{\an8}Is it...
Oh, it is!
393
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:27,735
{\an8}- New night sticks are here.
- Yay!
394
00:16:27,736 --> 00:16:29,153
{\an8}- About time.
- I can't wait.
395
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:31,864
{\an8}- What is this, German?
- Yeah.
396
00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:34,075
{\an8}The nacht-fun... the night...
397
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:35,118
{\an8}- The night--
- Wow.
398
00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:37,704
{\an8}- This whole manual's in German.
- The night stalker.
399
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,455
{\an8}Is it a Taser, too?
400
00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:40,707
{\an8}Oh! Whoa! Whoa!
401
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,292
{\an8}It's really...
it's really strong.
402
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,212
{\an8}- And it gets very, very hot.
- Okay.
403
00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,548
{\an8}'Touch it. Feel how hot it is.'
404
00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:50,717
{\an8}'Oh, my gosh!
What is the point of that?'
405
00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:53,094
{\an8}What does that, what does that
little speaker right there mean?
406
00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:54,137
{\an8}- Is it voice activated?
- Maybe so.
407
00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:57,306
{\an8}Whoa, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
It does. You're right.
408
00:16:57,307 --> 00:16:59,225
{\an8}- Voice activated?
- That's what this is for.
409
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:03,312
{\an8}Cover your eyes, cover
your eyes, cover your eyes...
410
00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:05,356
{\an8}Guys, seriously,
watch your eyes.
411
00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:08,901
{\an8}Eins! Ouss!
412
00:17:08,902 --> 00:17:10,111
{\an8}- Hitler!
- Don't.
413
00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:12,739
{\an8}Okay, technically
that's an Austrian name.
414
00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:13,323
{\an8}What are you doing
with my vibrator?
415
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:23,750
{\an8}I'm bummed about
Garcia and Junior
416
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:25,293
{\an8}being gone all day.
417
00:17:25,294 --> 00:17:26,545
{\an8}'Cause usually...
418
00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:30,716
{\an8}Garcia usually
clocks in for me.
419
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,136
{\an8}I go into the evidence locker
420
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:36,304
{\an8}and take about a half-hour
nap every day
421
00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:39,140
{\an8}half-hour to an hour.
422
00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:40,266
{\an8}And he clocks in for me.
423
00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:42,227
{\an8}Is she listening?
424
00:17:42,853 --> 00:17:44,563
{\an8}Is she listening to this?
425
00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:46,523
{\an8}She's listening.
426
00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:48,358
{\an8}Okay.
427
00:17:49,651 --> 00:17:50,778
{\an8}Okay.
428
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:55,656
{\an8}I'm just gonna play
possum on this one.
429
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:00,495
{\an8}You know what,
the Samoans are famous
430
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:01,662
{\an8}for cooking things in dirt.
431
00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:03,664
{\an8}Oh [bleep] damn,
it's like sitting
432
00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:05,500
{\an8}next to the damn nature channel.
433
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:07,336
{\an8}You're, like, an encyclopedia
of bore-tanica.
434
00:18:08,378 --> 00:18:10,505
{\an8}That's right.
435
00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:13,382
{\an8}- You're a thesaurus of...
- You're a the-snorus.
436
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,429
{\an8}'I'm smelling that Carne
asada.'
437
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,849
{\an8}I don't think we should do it.
I don't think it's right.
438
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:24,852
{\an8}Is it right that Americans
439
00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:26,354
{\an8}starve to death?
440
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:27,897
{\an8}- No, sir.
- No, sir.
441
00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:29,690
{\an8}- No, sir.
- That's a good point.
442
00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:32,318
{\an8}If we're using it as fuel
to build a wall
443
00:18:32,319 --> 00:18:34,362
{\an8}to keep them out,
then I think it's okay.
444
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:37,240
{\an8}That is, that is taking...
445
00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:40,409
{\an8}...a resource and putting
it towards a good plan.
446
00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:43,746
{\an8}It's like using their own
strength against 'em.
447
00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:45,498
{\an8}It's like using rape money
448
00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:47,375
{\an8}in order to build a hospital.
449
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:48,585
{\an8}Rape money?
450
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:52,421
{\an8}Money from a rape.
451
00:18:52,422 --> 00:18:54,298
{\an8}'Uh, hola, hola, senorita.'
452
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:57,552
{\an8}- Como esta?
- Muy bien, gracias.
453
00:18:57,553 --> 00:18:58,636
{\an8}- Carne asada todo?
- Oh, si.
454
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:00,263
{\an8}Carne asada is steak?
Yeah, yeah, si.
455
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:02,557
{\an8}Ask her if she's got apple pie.
456
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:04,267
{\an8}You got apple pie in that cart?
457
00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:06,185
{\an8}Lyle, do you want to eat
or do you want
458
00:19:06,186 --> 00:19:08,188
{\an8}to be a [bleep] jackass?
459
00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:11,357
{\an8}Little of both, I guess.
460
00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:12,359
{\an8}- That's good stuff.
- Oh, look, man.
461
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:17,572
{\an8}'We should see if they want...'
462
00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:19,407
{\an8}'to maybe earn a little
money fixing a fence.'
463
00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:22,159
{\an8}'It is hot.'
464
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,078
{\an8}- They are built for it.
- Yeah.
465
00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:26,582
{\an8}You boys want to make 40 bucks?
466
00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:30,084
{\an8}Si? Si. Es bueno.
467
00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:32,628
{\an8}'And do it... do it right!'
468
00:19:32,629 --> 00:19:33,422
{\an8}'Be nice.'
469
00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:37,509
{\an8}- Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
- Careful.
470
00:19:44,641 --> 00:19:52,441
{\an8}- USA!
- USA! U...
471
00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:56,653
{\an8}Oh, [bleep].
472
00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:01,991
{\an8}- Skedaddle, boys.
- We gotta get out of here.
473
00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:03,284
{\an8}- Come on. I got it.
- Come on.
474
00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:04,660
{\an8}- I got it, I got it.
- Go! Go! Go!
475
00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:07,121
{\an8}- Go, go, go, go, go--
- Gary, go!
476
00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:07,372
{\an8}Gary!
477
00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:12,461
{\an8}I'm staying.
478
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,297
{\an8}Yeah, I get it, man.
She's hot.
479
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:18,257
{\an8}- Alright.
- Bye, Gary.
480
00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:19,300
{\an8}Take care, man.
481
00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:20,468
{\an8}'Wait! The policia!'
482
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,012
{\an8}What are we up to, fellas?
483
00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:25,848
{\an8}Hey, where you going?
484
00:20:25,849 --> 00:20:27,308
{\an8}Soy Americano!
485
00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:28,851
{\an8}Hey! Hold it right there.
486
00:20:28,852 --> 00:20:30,561
{\an8}- Hey! You!
- 'Get him!'
487
00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:31,772
{\an8}'Shoot the beaner!'
488
00:20:33,231 --> 00:20:34,482
{\an8}- Got him.
- Oh.
489
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:37,486
{\an8}That's a classic slide tackle,
he's got military training.
490
00:20:43,158 --> 00:20:44,700
{\an8}for everybody
491
00:20:44,701 --> 00:20:46,619
{\an8}in Washoe county, so--
492
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:48,537
{\an8}Yeah, but, you gotta...
493
00:20:48,538 --> 00:20:51,040
{\an8}That fifth generation had to
come over here from somewhere.
494
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:54,335
{\an8}Junior's... Junior's French.
495
00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:55,461
{\an8}- Juniet.
- French?
496
00:20:55,462 --> 00:20:57,713
{\an8}Yeah, they came
after the Civil War.
497
00:20:57,714 --> 00:21:00,133
{\an8}Uh, they...
selling beavers.
498
00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:03,386
{\an8}- I don't want to talk about it.
- So you're a beaver trapper?
499
00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:07,306
{\an8}In 1875 you didn't have
to trap your own beavers.
500
00:21:07,307 --> 00:21:08,933
{\an8}Smart businessmen
501
00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:11,019
{\an8}bought the beavers,
resold 'em.
37731
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