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1
00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:07,256
'Okay, this is kind of
just for a goof.'
2
00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:10,008
Uh, for the last couple
of years, I've been doing
3
00:00:10,009 --> 00:00:11,218
kind of a gaslight number
on Trudy Wiegel
4
00:00:11,219 --> 00:00:14,179
making her think she's even
crazier than she already is.
5
00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:17,266
Uh, and the latest thing
I've been doing is, uh
6
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:18,726
lately I've been telling her
7
00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:20,561
"Oh, you know how the showers
are haunted, right?"
8
00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:22,104
And she's really
starting to buy it.
9
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,939
She's on her way down
to take a shower.
10
00:00:23,940 --> 00:00:25,149
I'm going to do the old
"Hey, ghost of the shower."
11
00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:27,193
We'll get her good.
12
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:30,654
How's it look?
13
00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:32,322
Good?
14
00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:37,077
Oh, hey, Joe. What are you
doing in the gals' showers?
15
00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:38,746
You want to
see me shower up?
16
00:00:39,497 --> 00:00:42,291
Aah, mother[bleep]!
17
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:48,881
- Out of the way.
- Sheriff's department, freeze!
18
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,257
Get on the ground!
Freeze!
19
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:00,517
{\an8}What? What?
20
00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:03,146
{\an8}Alright.
21
00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:07,650
{\an8}- There's a tornado.
- No, no, no.
22
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,695
{\an8}Hell, no!
We won't blow!
23
00:01:13,990 --> 00:01:15,282
{\an8}Yeah!
24
00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:16,993
{\an8}My friend.
25
00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:19,579
{\an8}Yah!
26
00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:35,804
{\an8}- 'I have a question.'
- 'Hands! We do hands.'
27
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:41,058
{\an8}And then you wait
until you're called upon.
28
00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:42,101
Travis.
29
00:01:46,105 --> 00:01:47,272
Who the [bleep] has been
sticking their weiner
30
00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:49,275
in the [bleep]damn
peanut butter?
31
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,364
Look, I don't want to
turn this into some kinda
32
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:56,406
damn
measuring contest
33
00:01:56,407 --> 00:01:59,993
but, unfortunately, that's
exactly what it calls for.
34
00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:02,371
Nobody?
Nobody's been sticking
35
00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:04,039
their weiner
in the peanut butter?
36
00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:06,708
Do you have some sort
of supportive evidence
37
00:02:06,709 --> 00:02:08,169
to corro...
38
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:12,214
Jones.
What's up?
39
00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:15,384
- Ugh...
- It was a joke.
40
00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:17,553
It was a, um...
41
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:18,387
chocolate in
the peanut butter
42
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:20,389
peanut butter
in my chocolate kind of...
43
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,057
Hm-mmm. Can I-can I say
something like that?
44
00:02:22,058 --> 00:02:22,891
- 'Sure.'
- I love a joke.
45
00:02:22,892 --> 00:02:25,436
'Something like this
is not funny.'
46
00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:27,604
I know that now!
47
00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:28,897
Unless you take
a picture of it
48
00:02:28,898 --> 00:02:30,023
or put it on YouTube
or something.
49
00:02:30,024 --> 00:02:31,441
'[bleep] you're
your own food!'
50
00:02:31,442 --> 00:02:35,737
your own food.
your own food.
51
00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:36,697
'If it ain't got your name'
52
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:37,906
'on it in the fridge,
don't [bleep] it!'
53
00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:39,408
'I-I would take that policy
one step further'
54
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:41,702
'and say...'
55
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:43,912
'Let's not [bleep] food.'
56
00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:45,747
That's not what
I meant to happen here.
57
00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:46,623
That's not what I intended.
58
00:02:46,624 --> 00:02:48,417
'Lieutenant Dangle?'
59
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,961
'Mayor Hernandez
here to see you.'
60
00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:52,213
Mr. Mayor.
61
00:02:54,173 --> 00:02:56,258
Hey, good morning...
Afternoon.
62
00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:57,426
'Good morning.'
63
00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,553
Uh, well...
64
00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:00,429
You got those steaks
I sent-I sent you guys?
65
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:03,724
Thank you very much.
Thank you so much.
66
00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:04,600
The way you took care...
It was delicious.
67
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:06,393
- Melts in your mouth.
- 'Thank you.'
68
00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:07,603
'We took care of that thing.'
69
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:09,730
Yep.
70
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:11,273
- Nobody...
- Nope.
71
00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:12,816
- 'Alright.'
- 'Didn't happen.'
72
00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:15,485
In the next few weeks,
you're gonna hear
73
00:03:15,486 --> 00:03:17,946
a lot of loose talk,
just a lot of talk.
74
00:03:17,947 --> 00:03:18,947
'A lot of allegations'
75
00:03:18,948 --> 00:03:20,949
which anybody can make
an allegation, really?
76
00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:22,326
Anyone can say you...
77
00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:25,412
Pff...
78
00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:29,041
Like rough sex, that you...
I-I...
79
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,918
'So the allegations,
the finger-pointings'
80
00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:31,419
the semen...
81
00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:35,715
Those roads
don't lead to me.
82
00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:39,968
They don't lead to me.
83
00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:40,469
- 'No!'
- Not to you.
84
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,596
So follow my lead.
85
00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:44,933
Keep your mouths...
86
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:46,975
...shut.
87
00:03:46,976 --> 00:03:49,019
'And keep your heads down.'
88
00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:53,482
Together...
We are stronger together.
89
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:54,650
'Right.'
90
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:56,485
There's not a bond.
There's not no one.
91
00:03:56,486 --> 00:04:00,113
There's not law, there's
no subpoena that can bust... you.
92
00:04:00,114 --> 00:04:00,989
Go and do it.
Believe in it.
93
00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:04,493
That can bust this.
That can bust us.
94
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,495
That can...
Thank you.
95
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:08,830
Thank you very much.
96
00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:10,332
Hang onto that
97
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,501
for me brother, please.
98
00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:14,545
Good-bye. Good day.
99
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:17,715
Which way is out?
Over here?
100
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:23,720
'What the hell?'
101
00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:25,138
Something's dripping out of it.
102
00:04:25,139 --> 00:04:26,223
- Is it dripping? Really?
- 'Yeah.'
103
00:04:26,224 --> 00:04:27,516
- Something's dripping out of...
- It is, a little bit.
104
00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:34,982
{\an8}- No, no, no.
- What the hell?
105
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:37,317
{\an8}No, no, no.
106
00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:38,318
{\an8}What?
107
00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:39,861
- Uh...
- Three guesses.
108
00:04:39,862 --> 00:04:41,405
Uh, apple, orange, grapes.
109
00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:45,534
Um, I don't understand.
110
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:47,369
Wrong, wrong, and wrong.
111
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,370
'You gonna audition?'
112
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:49,871
You guys...
113
00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:51,540
No, you're...
This is only for women...
114
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:52,916
Women and young girls.
115
00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:55,419
And-and you're doing this as
a service to the, the community?
116
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,045
Yeah, just holding
auditions, you know?
117
00:04:57,046 --> 00:05:00,048
We... It's been-it's been
a few, a few days of auditioning
118
00:05:00,049 --> 00:05:01,383
but when we get...
When I get my-my--
119
00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:03,885
How long you been holding
auditions here, Steve?
120
00:05:03,886 --> 00:05:06,888
I don't even remem... I don't
keep track because this is art.
121
00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:08,181
Art isn't a science, you know?
122
00:05:08,182 --> 00:05:09,891
- Twenty-seven months.
- Yeah, around there.
123
00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:11,977
That would be two... Yeah, about
a little over two years.
124
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,562
Twenty-seven calls
for-for a while
125
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:16,565
but this last one was just about
a, a girl that all you did
126
00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:18,358
was, was stretch her out.
127
00:05:18,359 --> 00:05:21,361
Well, yes. That is...
Ballet is...
128
00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:22,612
- No, don't, don't...
- Don't even...
129
00:05:22,613 --> 00:05:24,239
- Don't do that.
- Ballet is...
130
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:28,535
- Don't film that.
- Ballet is 99% l-limberness.
131
00:05:28,536 --> 00:05:30,538
What's the other percent?
132
00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:33,540
Flair.
133
00:05:33,541 --> 00:05:35,000
'Aw, [bleep]'
134
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:39,921
Hey, is this where the
"Nutcracker" auditions is at?
135
00:05:39,922 --> 00:05:41,757
'Um... yes.'
136
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:43,508
"Auditions
for "Nutcracker" suite
137
00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:46,386
3600 Telfair..."
138
00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:47,387
Yeah.
139
00:05:47,388 --> 00:05:49,973
- "Come ready to move..."
- Yes.
140
00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:51,099
"Partial nudity required."
141
00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:52,392
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah.
142
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,107
{\an8}How you doin', Terry?
143
00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:01,234
{\an8}- 'Terry?'
- Hi, guys. How are you?
144
00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:03,445
- I'm on the phone.
- Uh, not great.
145
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:04,488
Why? What happened?
146
00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:07,074
Um, it's 4 a.m., and we're
getting repeated calls
147
00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:08,408
from people around the area
148
00:06:08,409 --> 00:06:09,701
saying that you're talking
really loud out here.
149
00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:11,787
- What?
- And singing.
150
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:13,830
You guys... Not me.
151
00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:15,332
- Not me.
- Yeah, you.
152
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:16,792
No, Adam!
153
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:17,959
- Okay--
- Don't you dare.
154
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,461
- I will blow on it.
- Alright.
155
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:21,254
I will suck
and blow on it.
156
00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:22,297
- You'll suck? Okay.
- You'll suck nothing.
157
00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:24,132
He runs a candle store,
he runs a candle store.
158
00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:25,258
- Fantastic.
- Yeah.
159
00:06:25,259 --> 00:06:26,760
- Barry, what do you want?
- Terry...
160
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,637
I will get you coke.
161
00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:29,971
You... Whoa! Whoa!
162
00:06:29,972 --> 00:06:31,598
- No! He's--
- Whoa! What?
163
00:06:31,599 --> 00:06:36,103
He doesn't like Pepsi.
Mikey! Don't you...
164
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:38,772
Don't avoid me. You're avoiding
me and you know it!
165
00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:41,316
- Let's use our 4 a.m. voice.
- You know it!
166
00:06:41,317 --> 00:06:43,819
- Let's use our--
- I will cut you with a knife.
167
00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:45,946
- Whoa, okay.
- No, Mikey's made out of cake.
168
00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:47,656
It's fine.
He's made out of cake.
169
00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:49,574
- Mike is made out of cake?
- Who's "R?" Who's "R?"
170
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:51,618
It stands for...
171
00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:56,623
♪ Te-rrr-yyyyyy ♪
172
00:06:56,624 --> 00:06:59,334
'That-that doesn't
make sense, Terry.'
173
00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:02,045
Oh, my gosh.
That guy has a tornado!
174
00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:03,088
- There's a tornado!
- No, no, no!
175
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,673
- Terry... Terry!
- No, no, no, Terry. Slow down--
176
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,680
{\an8}We've been following
this, uh, Cadillac XLR
177
00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:13,348
{\an8}for about, uh, six miles.
178
00:07:13,349 --> 00:07:14,099
{\an8}Obvious D.U.I.
179
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:14,724
{\an8}Swerving all over
the place.
180
00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:16,893
{\an8}Oh, look at that.
181
00:07:16,894 --> 00:07:18,687
'Sir?'
182
00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:20,564
Sir?
183
00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:21,898
'Miss?'
184
00:07:21,899 --> 00:07:23,692
- How you doing tonight, ma'am?
- How you doing tonight?
185
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:25,902
- Can you roll the window down?
- I'm stuck!
186
00:07:25,903 --> 00:07:28,655
'Did you have any drugs
or alcohol tonight, ma'am?'
187
00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:30,407
I can't hear you!
188
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:31,908
Yes, you can,
because I can hear you.
189
00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:33,577
- So you can obviously hear me.
- No, I can't.
190
00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:36,663
Travis?
It's, uh, Bunny Hernandez.
191
00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:39,166
- Shut up!
- That's the mayor's wife.
192
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:40,542
It's the mayor's wife.
193
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:41,543
Ah, [bleep].
194
00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:42,544
- Okay, you good?
- You good?
195
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:44,671
Where's my husband?
196
00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:46,590
- You think you can drive?
- Are you my husband?
197
00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:50,260
- No, no, no.
- No, no, no, Mrs. Hernandez.
198
00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:50,719
- That's okay.
- Mrs. Hernandez...
199
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:51,720
She's full of fun.
200
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:54,556
I gotta go to Tahoe.
201
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:55,682
'Uh...[bleep].'
202
00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:57,726
- Whoa!
- Unh!
203
00:07:57,727 --> 00:08:00,896
Bunny? You're married
to a very powerful man.
204
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:02,397
- Very powerful.
- He stinks.
205
00:08:02,398 --> 00:08:03,481
- He is our boss.
- He's a Mexican.
206
00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:06,359
He's a Latino gentleman,
but he is still our boss.
207
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,528
- You came up a long way.
- 'Yeah.'
208
00:08:08,529 --> 00:08:09,696
Remember, Bunny,
who used to do
209
00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:12,449
the amateur...
Yep.
210
00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:14,367
- Yeah, those things?
- That was real good.
211
00:08:14,368 --> 00:08:14,951
You don't have
to do that anymore.
212
00:08:14,952 --> 00:08:16,745
You got a real nice house.
213
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:18,580
- You are like...
- Got a nice, new Cadillac...
214
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:20,625
I got a baby coming.
215
00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:24,252
The keys went up
her bottom crack.
216
00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:26,588
- Let's just leave her here.
- Oh, yeah!
217
00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:28,925
- I gotta take a piss.
- No... Okay.
218
00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:34,180
- She's poopin'.
- 'Oh, I'm making a mess.'
219
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:37,265
Take-take your brit...
Your drawers off.
220
00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:39,768
- No rush.
- Did you take your panties off?
221
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:42,145
'I am not wearing any.'
222
00:08:42,146 --> 00:08:43,647
- Okay. Alright.
- I gotta go.
223
00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:46,441
'We're just gonna
escort you to Tahoe.'
224
00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:47,442
- Ow!
- 'Oh, crap.'
225
00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:48,902
'It's only about six miles.'
226
00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:50,445
- Okay, in we go.
- Okay.
227
00:08:50,446 --> 00:08:53,324
In we go, in we go.
228
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:55,617
Now, Bunny...
229
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:57,327
Bunny?
230
00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:58,745
'Hey, Bunny. A nice lady doesn't
herself'
231
00:08:58,746 --> 00:09:00,747
'in the back seat.'
232
00:09:00,748 --> 00:09:03,083
- 'Bunny?'
- Where am I?
233
00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:05,126
'Would Princess Diana
be [bleep] herself'
234
00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:06,127
in the back seat?
235
00:09:06,128 --> 00:09:08,129
No.
And you're our Princess Di.
236
00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:53,884
{\an8}- Aw, man.
- Whoa, whoa!
237
00:09:58,097 --> 00:09:59,055
Damn.
238
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:04,436
{\an8}'Oh. I'm not-I'm not
really dead.'
239
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,312
Y'all be cool,
just be cool
240
00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:07,397
and just play along
with this, okay?
241
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:08,648
- What are you doing?
- No, listen, listen.
242
00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:11,026
I've been playing possum for
about an hour and a half now.
243
00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:13,403
I took this, um...
244
00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:14,863
These male enhancement,
you know
245
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:17,532
these-these things.
246
00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:20,535
You know, you know, to get your,
get your, your business going?
247
00:10:20,536 --> 00:10:21,911
And, you know,
I did that dumb thing
248
00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:24,039
where I was like,
"Oh, I'll just take ten."
249
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,750
And then I was like, "Oh, man!
You pay by the hour here."
250
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:30,712
So, I finished. I got, like,
nine more hours.
251
00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:33,006
And my-my member...
252
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:34,632
My member is at full mast.
253
00:10:34,633 --> 00:10:36,551
You know what I'm saying?
And I can't get up.
254
00:10:36,552 --> 00:10:38,386
So I just thought
I'd play dead.
255
00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:40,096
You can't just be dead
for a little bit.
256
00:10:40,097 --> 00:10:41,181
I've been dead
for an hour--
257
00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:43,058
You'd better be prepared
to be real dead.
258
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:44,934
- Now, you can walk.
- Now, wait a minute.
259
00:10:44,935 --> 00:10:48,396
I asked politely for you
to w-work with my rules.
260
00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:49,397
Just-Just...
261
00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:50,231
Just pretend to resurrect me
262
00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:52,567
and I'll just crawl
out of here.
263
00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:54,736
Start coughing.
264
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:57,238
Do that ten more times,
and I'll...
265
00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:58,239
Start coughing.
266
00:10:59,241 --> 00:11:01,576
- Oh! Well, yes!
- Whoa!
267
00:11:02,578 --> 00:11:03,912
He's gonna be
alright, ladies.
268
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:06,623
I thought I was dead!
269
00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:08,249
- That's alright.
- I thought I was dead!
270
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:10,710
- That's okay.
- Oh, thank you!
271
00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:12,754
He's just still
a little stiff, I think
272
00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:13,963
from being unconscious
for so long.
273
00:11:13,964 --> 00:11:16,841
Oh, thank you.
I'm alive!
274
00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:17,926
- I'm alive!
- It's a miracle.
275
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:19,886
Wait, you're rubbing...
You're rubbing against...
276
00:11:19,887 --> 00:11:20,929
The tip's rubbing!
277
00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:28,978
{\an8}You want powdered sugar?
278
00:11:28,979 --> 00:11:30,438
{\an8}Smi... Uh, the mayor's here.
The mayor's here.
279
00:11:30,439 --> 00:11:31,481
{\an8}- The mayor's here. The mayor...
- Now?
280
00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:33,024
'The mayor! Mayor!'
281
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:34,651
Right now. I'm assuming we're
in big trouble.
282
00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:36,027
Smiles, smiles, smiles!
Ahem.
283
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:38,905
- 'Mayor Hernandez!'
- Hey.
284
00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:41,074
- 'What a pleasant surprise.'
- What's up? What's happening?
285
00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,826
What, uh...
What's going on?
286
00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:45,161
You alright, there?
287
00:11:45,162 --> 00:11:46,247
Okay.
288
00:11:48,707 --> 00:11:49,958
Give you a hug.
289
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,841
You guys...
290
00:11:57,842 --> 00:12:00,094
You guys are...
291
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:03,556
...the best.
292
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:07,183
The best.
293
00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:09,102
Give yourselves
a round of applause!
294
00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:10,979
You're so...
295
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:13,023
So the best!
296
00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:16,235
'Yeah! Yeah!'
297
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:20,155
I'm gonna show those
suckers.
298
00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:21,948
Those...
299
00:12:27,621 --> 00:12:30,790
That they don't have
nothing.
300
00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:32,083
They don't have nothing!
301
00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:34,961
They can have all their
court commissions
302
00:12:34,962 --> 00:12:37,965
and pinche subpoenas,
and [bleep]damn...
303
00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:41,843
'[bleep]damn set-ups.'
304
00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:42,844
That's what they were.
Set-ups.
305
00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:45,889
With the fake chi-chis
and the thongs.
306
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:49,851
'Set-ups!'
307
00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:51,978
'We're all in this together.'
308
00:12:51,979 --> 00:12:54,773
When they shoot at me,
they shoot at you.
309
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,524
When they allege me,
they allege you.
310
00:12:56,525 --> 00:12:59,444
We are all in this
together. Are...
311
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:01,863
Are you with me?
Are you with me?
312
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:04,325
'Do you believe in
what I'm saying?'
313
00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:06,034
- Sure.
- 'Sure!'
314
00:13:06,035 --> 00:13:08,036
Sure, we do.
315
00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:10,705
- 'We do?'
- 'Yes, we do!'
316
00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:13,208
Sitting mayor.
317
00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:15,252
We can beat this.
318
00:13:17,004 --> 00:13:19,088
There's a light at the end
of the tunnel.
319
00:13:19,089 --> 00:13:20,548
Those [bleep]suckers
320
00:13:20,549 --> 00:13:22,425
cannot prove anything.
321
00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:25,053
Because if I go down...
322
00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:27,931
If I go down,
we, we go down.
323
00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:31,476
If you got my back
324
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:32,894
I got yours.
325
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:34,395
'Okay? That's how it works.
Thank you.'
326
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:36,690
'Thank you.'
327
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:39,901
Get rid of that thing
for me, okay?
328
00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:43,071
Have a good day.
You got my back?
329
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:44,322
- You got my back?
- Yes, sir. Sure.
330
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:46,325
- We got your back.
- 'Sure. Yes, sir.'
331
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:49,203
'Mayor Hernandez.'
332
00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:53,165
Get rid of this.
Get rid of this.
333
00:13:54,041 --> 00:13:55,583
Okey-doke.
334
00:13:55,584 --> 00:13:58,545
Moving right along.
Hey! Bup-up-up!
335
00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:00,296
- This-this has been used--
- Yes.
336
00:14:00,297 --> 00:14:01,214
Recently.
Very recently.
337
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:04,592
- Ooh...
- Like in this day, recently.
338
00:14:04,593 --> 00:14:06,135
'His breath smelled
like my Uncle Carl'
339
00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:09,556
before he told me "Let's keep it
between the two of us."
340
00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:17,146
{\an8}Uh, we're here with
the Reno sheriff's department
341
00:14:17,147 --> 00:14:19,399
{\an8}brand-new E.D.I.R.
342
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,776
{\an8}That is a explosive device
interception robot.
343
00:14:21,777 --> 00:14:23,945
This damn thing
is state of the art.
344
00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:25,113
It is armed with a mini-14.
345
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:28,241
'It has a, a cyber-neural
database.'
346
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:30,618
Also, it's got
thermal-optic camouflage
347
00:14:30,619 --> 00:14:34,622
and a five-language oral
intercept transmitter.
348
00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:36,291
What that means is
we can give this damn thing
349
00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:37,166
oral commands, and it'll do
anything we say.
350
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:39,586
- It's voice command?
- Voice command.
351
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:40,169
I didn't know that part.
I thought--
352
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:43,631
Robot, forward five feet.
353
00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:45,633
Oh! Ha-ha!
354
00:14:45,634 --> 00:14:48,721
Robot, back to position one.
355
00:14:49,513 --> 00:14:51,681
That is unbelie...
356
00:14:51,682 --> 00:14:54,100
Can... Does it just
recognize your voice, like--
357
00:14:54,101 --> 00:14:55,018
Any voice, five languages.
Uh...
358
00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:57,145
- Can I--
- Give it a shot.
359
00:14:57,146 --> 00:15:00,316
Oh. Uh, robot,
turn to the left.
360
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:02,984
Ha-ha-ha!
361
00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:06,029
Robot, come back.
362
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:07,196
That's pretty good, right?
363
00:15:07,197 --> 00:15:09,032
Also has a self-defense
mechanism.
364
00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:10,033
Uh-huh.
365
00:15:12,953 --> 00:15:13,953
Whoa!
366
00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:16,081
Drop down your weapon.
367
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,961
You.
Take your top off.
368
00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:24,297
Uh...
369
00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:25,548
Better do
what he says, Kimball.
370
00:15:25,549 --> 00:15:26,674
That damn thing's armed.
371
00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:28,009
Uh. Oh, Jesus.
372
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:29,385
For reals.
373
00:15:29,386 --> 00:15:31,179
Take your top off.
374
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:35,309
For reals.
Take your top off.
375
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:41,022
Oh, that's great. That's real
funny. Oh, I see. Ha ha ha.
376
00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:42,523
That damn thing ain't oral
commanded at all.
377
00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:44,067
- 'Kimball's stupid.'
- He did it back there.
378
00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:46,319
Kimball's stupid, and this is
a robot that speaks--
379
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,196
- Oof!
- Oh.
380
00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:59,540
7-Charlie-14, I'm here.
I'm goin' in.
381
00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:01,376
I'm sorry you have
to see this, Joe.
382
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:04,045
Believe it or not, this is
a front for a brothel.
383
00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:05,922
Makes me [bleep] sick.
384
00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:08,007
Hi, you here for one of our
little darlings?
385
00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:08,841
- Shut up!
- Oh!
386
00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:10,677
What the [bleep]'s
wrong with you?
387
00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:11,552
- Fight you, bitch!
- Oh, my God!
388
00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:13,930
'Alright, kids.
In the corner, now!'
389
00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:16,057
Now, move!
You make me [bleep] sick!
390
00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:18,559
Aah!
391
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,395
- Aah!
- 'Shut up!'
392
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:22,772
There's a room in hell
where you're gonna be suckin'
393
00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,357
on Dahmer's [bleep] you bitch!
394
00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:27,276
'Hello?
I'm here for Candy.'
395
00:16:27,277 --> 00:16:30,029
We don't do this in my country,
you piece of [bleep].
396
00:16:30,030 --> 00:16:31,114
Aah!
397
00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:35,576
Back in the patrol car!
398
00:16:35,577 --> 00:16:37,203
'Uh, Travis, we're still
waiting for you'
399
00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:38,288
'at this brothel over here.'
400
00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:53,261
{\an8}I used to date the guy
that lived right there.
401
00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:54,387
{\an8}Oh, you don't say.
402
00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:56,431
{\an8}- Yeah, he's dead now.
- Well... Oh.
403
00:16:56,432 --> 00:16:58,266
Hey. How you doing?
404
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,435
There's an intruder
in my bedroom.
405
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:01,936
Keep your voice down
so we don't alert--
406
00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:03,187
Be careful, careful, careful.
407
00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:04,731
Yes, somebody's broke in, okay?
408
00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:05,565
Someone's in there, okay?
409
00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:08,276
I'm not sure, but I think
it might be
410
00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:10,111
Georgia Engel.
411
00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:12,405
You know, Georgia from
"The Mary Tyler Moore Show?"
412
00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:14,490
Have you been... Have you
actually seen her, or you're--
413
00:17:14,491 --> 00:17:15,366
No, I'm too scared
to go in there.
414
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:17,285
She's been after me
for years.
415
00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:19,203
She's never forgiven me since
Betty White and I
416
00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:21,914
did her hair years ago
when we were high on mushrooms.
417
00:17:21,915 --> 00:17:23,666
You know, those are
great tits.
418
00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:25,793
Thank you!
Oh, I love compliments.
419
00:17:25,794 --> 00:17:28,296
See? It all...
It ends up being...
420
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:31,299
You know, you remind me of
one of my stepdads.
421
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,468
- Yeah?
- Did you know my mother?
422
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,386
- What was her name?
- Trina Johnson.
423
00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:36,262
Oh, my God. Was she a stewardess
for Braniff Airlines?
424
00:17:36,263 --> 00:17:39,432
- Yes! Yes, she was.
- Yes.
425
00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:41,309
Isn't this a small world?
426
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,311
She had, like, a whole string
of... Were you married to her?
427
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:46,147
No, but you know what
she did to me?
428
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:47,690
She threw me
out of first class
429
00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:49,150
on the Red-Eye
to JFK one time
430
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:51,861
when I was trying
to give Dom Deluise
431
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:52,361
a [bleep] underneath
a blanket.
432
00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:57,700
It's just...
I can't believe her. Oh, God.
433
00:17:57,701 --> 00:17:58,993
And it was,
it was really awful.
434
00:17:58,994 --> 00:18:00,578
I had just come home
from a lovely dinner
435
00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:02,121
with my good friend
Joan Van Ark
436
00:18:02,122 --> 00:18:03,331
who was in town
doing a speech--
437
00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:07,085
- Tonight? You were at--
- No, this was two years ago.
438
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,795
Anyway, I come home
from that lovely dinner
439
00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:10,171
and there-there it is,
Georgia Engel's dump
440
00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:12,507
on my settee.
441
00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:13,216
'And I said to myself,
"Jeffrey De La Costa'
442
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:15,218
"you get the 'H' out of here
443
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:16,385
'cause it reeks!" Okay?
444
00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:17,386
- Well, yeah.
- Really bad.
445
00:18:17,387 --> 00:18:19,889
I've had the place fumigated.
446
00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:21,224
Okay. Um...
447
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:24,101
Just to let you know,
the intruder
448
00:18:24,102 --> 00:18:26,312
is actually a wet-dry
vacuum cleaner
449
00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:28,481
with a blonde wig on it
450
00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:31,067
and a sticky magazine
laying on the bed.
451
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:44,372
That's what she said.
Ha ha ha!
452
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:46,541
- That's pretty funny.
- I know.
453
00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:47,375
Everyone remembers his honor
454
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:50,628
Mayor Hernandez?
455
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:53,214
- Hey.
- Hello, sir.
456
00:19:00,138 --> 00:19:02,181
Somebody's gotta pay
the fiddler, alright?
457
00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:02,557
The fiddler,
it sounds innocent.
458
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:05,017
A fiddler...
459
00:19:05,018 --> 00:19:05,393
It's a skinny dude
with the thing...
460
00:19:07,354 --> 00:19:09,438
You put money in the hat.
461
00:19:09,439 --> 00:19:11,483
'I gotta pay the fiddler now.'
462
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,195
There's a word
in Spanish
463
00:19:16,196 --> 00:19:17,405
that my grandmother
would say to me
464
00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:19,073
when I was a kid.
465
00:19:19,074 --> 00:19:21,534
It means brotherhood
and compassion.
466
00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:23,537
I can't think of it
right now.
467
00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:27,915
'I want you guys to know'
468
00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:30,251
when I'm up there
in that dark
469
00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:34,297
and they're feeding me
through a slot in the door
470
00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:36,799
when I'm smelling
my own piss
471
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,551
don't...
472
00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:39,510
Don't you say a word.
473
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:42,263
'My people will find you.'
474
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:43,973
'They will find you.
You cannot hide.'
475
00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:47,310
They will find you,
and they will destroy you.
476
00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:49,688
They will destroy you...
477
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:52,941
...and everything
that you love.
478
00:19:59,197 --> 00:20:01,449
I will see you
on the other side.
479
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:03,117
Take care of
this guy, okay?
480
00:20:03,118 --> 00:20:05,411
This one here?
481
00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:07,288
- Nah, that's a eight.
- That's a eight?
482
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,123
- Yeah. I was in a hurry.
- Okay. Okay.
483
00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:10,334
Done and done.
484
00:20:13,211 --> 00:20:14,171
Oh!
485
00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:17,465
I will see you
on the other side.
486
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:18,466
Your honor.
487
00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:25,432
So what do we gotta do?
Kill that guy?
488
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,476
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no
489
00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:30,978
Travis.
490
00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:32,813
By no means.
491
00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:35,191
I didn't know you could commit
seven felonies
492
00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:37,318
in an hour and a half.
493
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:38,361
Not driving at that speed.
494
00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:40,154
- That's impressive.
- 'That's very impressive.'
495
00:20:40,155 --> 00:20:41,113
'That's very impressive.'
496
00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:43,991
You gotta have great
eye-hand coordination.
497
00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:46,661
He has a very Clintonesque
quality about him.
498
00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:47,703
'Great public speaker.'
499
00:20:47,704 --> 00:20:50,539
And loves... Loves to put...
500
00:20:50,540 --> 00:20:52,084
Loves to put his
in things.
501
00:20:57,547 --> 00:20:59,340
Mints. Now, one of those
Canadian loonies.
502
00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:02,009
You know, the two-dollar
Canadian coin?
503
00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:03,428
They ain't made those in years.
504
00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:07,057
Loonie.
Canadian loonie.
505
00:21:08,558 --> 00:21:10,685
Goodnight, Mrs. Hernandez.
506
00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:12,687
She's really
our Princess Di.
507
00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:13,521
And sweet, sweet girl
508
00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:16,691
if you get her before,
like, uh
509
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:17,692
1 o'clock in
the afternoon.
510
00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:18,859
Sweet as a little apricot.
511
00:21:18,860 --> 00:21:20,277
And game.
512
00:21:20,278 --> 00:21:23,030
Game. Did I say sweet?
I meant more game.
513
00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:23,490
- Game.
- Game for [bleep].
36357
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