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1
00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:08,132
OK, IT IS FINALLY HAPPENING.
2
00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:09,800
WE ARE JUMPING THE SHARK.
3
00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:12,261
JUMPING, JUMPING.
4
00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:14,012
JUMP, JUMP
THAT SHARK.
5
00:00:14,013 --> 00:00:16,432
LIEUTENANT JIM DANGLE
WILL BE JUMPING A SHARK
TO FIGHT AUTISM.
6
00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:19,309
SUPPORT AUTISM.
7
00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:21,228
DO IT, DO IT,
DO IT, DO IT, DO IT.
8
00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:22,229
GO, DANGLE.
9
00:00:23,231 --> 00:00:24,273
GO, JIM!
10
00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:26,108
OH,
11
00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:27,234
OH, GOD.
12
00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:29,611
JIM?!
13
00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:38,747
WILL YOU BE
MY LIFE PARTNER?
14
00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:41,331
SAY YES!
15
00:00:41,332 --> 00:00:42,916
YES!
16
00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:43,877
QUEER!
17
00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:46,253
MY WATER JUST BROKE.
18
00:00:46,254 --> 00:00:48,589
OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD.
19
00:00:49,674 --> 00:00:51,133
HAH! HEH!
MOTHER
20
00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:52,634
SUCKER!
21
00:00:52,635 --> 00:00:53,343
WHAT HOLIDAY IS IT?
22
00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:56,263
IF ANYONE HERE OBJECTS
23
00:00:56,264 --> 00:01:00,142
TO THIS SAME-SEX
PARTNERSHIP UNION,
24
00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:02,311
YOU MAY SPEAK NOW
25
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:05,439
OR FOREVER
HOLD YOUR PEACE.
26
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:08,150
WHOA, OH.
27
00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:11,487
UH...I, UH...
28
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:12,821
I GOT SOMETHIN' TO SAY.
29
00:01:12,822 --> 00:01:15,365
WHEN LOVE ASKS YOU TO DANCE,
30
00:01:15,366 --> 00:01:18,619
YOU TAKE IT BY THE HAND
AND YOU HEAD TO THE FLOOR.
31
00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:22,331
LESLIE, WILL YOU
DANCE WITH ME?
32
00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:26,002
UNTIL THE LAST DANCE
IN HEAVEN.
33
00:01:26,878 --> 00:01:28,379
I know who the father is.
34
00:01:33,384 --> 00:01:34,551
{\an8}SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT!
FREEZE!
{\an8}FREEZE!
35
00:01:34,552 --> 00:01:35,344
{\an8}GET ON THE GROUND!
{\an8}DOWN ON THE GROUND!
36
00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:44,478
{\an8}D'OH!
37
00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:45,521
{\an8}YOU'RE NOT
ALLOWED TO DO THAT.
38
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:46,522
{\an8}WHAT? WHAT?
39
00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:48,857
{\an8}ALL RIGHT.
40
00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:53,780
{\an8}THERE'S A TORNADO.
{\an8}NO, NO, TERRY.
41
00:01:55,406 --> 00:01:57,533
{\an8}
HELL NO, WE WON'T BLOW.
42
00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:00,327
{\an8}YEAH!
43
00:02:00,328 --> 00:02:02,496
{\an8}OH, HE'S MY FRIEND.
44
00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,373
{\an8}HEY. HEY--
45
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:10,879
{\an8}
46
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,883
{\an8}CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
MTV NETWORKS
47
00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:21,516
Trudy, whispering:
I know who the father is.
48
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:29,940
OH, WOW.
49
00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:31,942
WHAT, DID YOU ALL
THINK THAT WAS REAL?
50
00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:33,735
COME ON, MAN.
51
00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:35,863
SECTION 501, PARAGRAPH "C,"
52
00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:38,407
"NEVADA STATE BYLAWS
PROHIBIT SAME-SEX MARRIAGES
53
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,576
BETWEEN A MAN, A MAN,
A WOMAN, AND A WOMAN."
54
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:44,413
IT IS ILLEGAL TO MARRY
ANOTHER MAN, JIM,
IN THE STATE OF NEVADA.
55
00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:45,914
THEREFORE, I PLACE YOUR,
56
00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:49,502
UH, WOULD-BE HUSBAND
UNDER ARREST.
57
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,087
OH, WHAT
THE .
58
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:54,464
Second man:
GET THE--
59
00:02:57,302 --> 00:03:00,053
ANYTHING YOU SAY
CAN AND WILL BE
USED AGAINST YOU--
60
00:03:00,054 --> 00:03:01,430
OH, BROTHER, YOU'RE
CHUMMING FOR A LAWSUIT.
61
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:02,472
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT
TO AN ATTORNEY--
62
00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:03,807
LAWSUIT, BRO.
63
00:03:03,808 --> 00:03:05,309
IF YOU CANNOT
AFFORD AN ATTORNEY,
64
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:06,101
WHICH I KNOW
YOU CANNOT--
65
00:03:06,102 --> 00:03:08,354
YOU KNOW I
CAN'T AFFORD ONE.
66
00:03:14,819 --> 00:03:16,445
{\an8}WELCOME BACK.
67
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:17,446
{\an8}THANK YOU,
THANK YOU.
68
00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,448
{\an8}I ASSURE YOU,
TO THOSE OF YOU
69
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:22,451
WHO HAVE NOT STAYED
IN OUR JAIL RECENTLY,
70
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:25,621
IT IS AN EFFECTIVE
DETERRENT.
71
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:26,788
GOOD TO KNOW.
72
00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:28,749
JIM, I JUST
WANTED TO SAY--
73
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,125
SPEAK--TALK TO ME
THROUGH YOUR ATTORNEY.
74
00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:31,501
WE SPEAK THROUGH
OUR ATTORNEY, NOW.
75
00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:32,461
OK.
76
00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:33,170
YOU REMEMBER THAT,
RIGHT?
DOIN' MY JOB.
77
00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:34,338
THAT WAS PART
OF THE AGREEMENT.
78
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:34,796
JUST DOIN' MY JOB.
79
00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:36,506
AHEM, TRUDY?
YES?
AHEM, TRUDY?
YES?
80
00:03:36,507 --> 00:03:40,969
I BELIEVE YOU HAD
AN ANNOUNCEMENT
YOU WANTED TO MAKE.
81
00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:44,473
WE ALL KNOW THAT
I WENT TO A SPERM BANK.
82
00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:48,310
AND THE FATHER IS...
83
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:49,562
SOMEONE IN THIS ROOM.
84
00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:55,943
WE KNEW THAT ALREADY.
85
00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:57,110
OH.
86
00:03:57,111 --> 00:03:57,486
YOU SAID YOU KNEW?
87
00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:59,446
OH, I KNOW.
88
00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:01,156
AND YOU'RE GOING
TO LORD IT OVER US
89
00:04:01,157 --> 00:04:02,491
LIKE THE SWORD OF DAMOCLES,
LIKE A WEAPON.
90
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,493
IS THIS GOING
TO BECOME SOME SORT OF
PSYCHOLOGICAL WEAPON
91
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:05,535
IN YOUR PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE
ARSENAL OF PSYCHOSIS?
92
00:04:05,536 --> 00:04:08,497
HADN'T THOUGHT ABOUT--
BUT THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
93
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,040
THAT'S WHAT IT IS.
94
00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:11,500
WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS
FOR THE BOY?
95
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,170
ONE MORE TIME.
96
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:19,925
HE'S GOT A RICE SUIT,
SO...
97
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:23,178
TAKE IT FROM ME,
YOU DON'T WANT TO BE
ON YOUR OWN WITH NO KIDS.
98
00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:26,848
GO ON AND CALL YOUR
BABY'S DADDY OUT!
DO IT.
GO ON AND CALL YOUR
BABY'S DADDY OUT!
DO IT.
99
00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:27,516
AND MAKE HIM
STEP UP TO THE PLATE.
100
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,518
DO IT.
101
00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:30,477
DO THE RIGHT THING.
102
00:04:30,478 --> 00:04:32,896
OH, I'M GOING
TO DO THE RIGHT THING.
103
00:04:32,897 --> 00:04:33,563
YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT.
104
00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:35,857
SO, HOW MUCH?
105
00:04:35,858 --> 00:04:37,859
$15,000.
OHH, ALL RIGHT.
$15,000.
OHH, ALL RIGHT.
106
00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:38,860
OK, 15.
107
00:04:38,861 --> 00:04:40,904
WE CAN'T HAVE
ANYMORE CHILDREN
OF OUR OWN.
108
00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:42,489
MM-HMM.
SO WE HAD ONE,
MM-HMM.
SO WE HAD ONE,
109
00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:43,865
BUT WE CAN'T
HAVE ANYMORE.
110
00:04:43,866 --> 00:04:45,492
AFTER WE HAD HER,
I GOT SEWED UP
REAL TIGHT.
111
00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:46,868
VERY SNUG, YEAH.
112
00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:47,869
SO WE CAN'T
DO IT ANYMORE.
113
00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:48,870
I'M PRETTY SURE
SHE DID IT ON PURPOSE.
114
00:04:48,871 --> 00:04:51,665
YOU KNOW WHAT, JUST BECAUSE
YOU'RE BUYING MY BABY
115
00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:53,500
DOESN'T MEAN I NEED
TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU.
116
00:04:53,501 --> 00:04:55,419
OH, DOES HE HAVE ANY
MAKEUP ALLERGIES?
117
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:56,878
NOT THAT I'M AWARE OF.
118
00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:57,879
HEALTHY APPETITE?
119
00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:58,922
VERY HEALTHY APPETITE.
120
00:04:58,923 --> 00:05:01,216
HE EATS LIKE A PIG,
BUT NOT TOO MUCH.
121
00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:03,343
HAS HE EVER BEEN
RENDERED DISQUALIFIED
122
00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:04,511
OR INELIGIBLE FROM
ANY OF THE FOLLOWING
ORGANIZATIONS?
123
00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:07,889
JUNIOR MISS RENO?
UH, NO.
JUNIOR MISS RENO?
UH, NO.
124
00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:08,515
THE LITTLE LADIES
GIRLS' PARADE?
125
00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:10,600
WHAT ARE THE--
WHAT'S THIS?
126
00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:11,560
UM, ARABIAN EMPRESSES?
127
00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:13,812
OF COURSE NOT.
WHAT IS THIS?
128
00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:15,731
THESE ARE PAGEANTS,
WE'RE ON THE CIRCUIT.
129
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,566
OH, LIKE A CARNIVAL,
LIKE A FREAK SHOW?
130
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,484
IT'S HARDLY
A FREAK SHOW, NO, NO.
131
00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:21,737
THIS IS JUST
A PAGEANT CIRCUIT.
132
00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:24,906
WE WANT TO TRY AND GET,
UH, GET IT OUT THERE
133
00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:26,324
AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE.
134
00:05:26,325 --> 00:05:26,908
SEXY, SEXY KIDS.
135
00:05:26,909 --> 00:05:29,411
BREAK IT YOU BOUGHT IT.
136
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:30,579
OH!
WHAT'S GOING ON?
OH!
WHAT'S GOING ON?
137
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:31,913
OH, MY BACK.
138
00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:33,206
OH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
I THINK HE'S STURDY.
139
00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:34,374
YEAH, WE, UH...
140
00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:34,916
WHAT ARE WE CLOCKIN'
IN HERE, LIKE 9 POUNDS?
141
00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:36,918
NO, HE'S A 10-POUNDER.
142
00:05:36,919 --> 00:05:39,254
IF THAT WAS A WATERMELON
HE'D BE 11 BUCKS.
143
00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:40,922
YEAH, WELL, UM...
144
00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:43,300
WE'VE GOT
A REAL PORKER HERE,
I GOTTA SAY--
145
00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:44,092
NO, NO, NO, NO.
YOU CAN SLIM HIM DOWN.
146
00:05:44,093 --> 00:05:45,927
YOU KNOW WHAT--
HOW ABOUT 14,000?
147
00:05:45,928 --> 00:05:47,596
HOW ABOUT 14,000--
YOU KNOW WHAT?
148
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:48,764
I THINK,
YOU KNOW WHAT?
149
00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:50,265
WE ARE GONNA GO IN
ANOTHER DIRECTION.
150
00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:51,433
YEAH, WOW.
151
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:52,559
YOU DON'T
WANT TO DO THAT.
152
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,728
THIS IS A HEALTHY--
WE'RE GOING TO PASS.
THIS IS A HEALTHY--
WE'RE GOING TO PASS.
153
00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:57,939
I'LL DO--I'LL DO 8,
AND I'LL THROW IN A WATERBED,
154
00:05:57,940 --> 00:05:59,107
GENTLY USED.
155
00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:01,610
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
OH, GOD. HELL.
156
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:04,154
SHH.
157
00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:05,739
, ALL RIGHT,
MOMMY LOVES YOU.
158
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:06,948
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
159
00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:18,752
{\an8}OK, EXCUSE ME, MISS.
I GOTTA--I GOTTA
COMMANDEER THIS VEHICLE.
160
00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,128
{\an8}YEAH, UH...
161
00:06:20,129 --> 00:06:21,463
I GOTTA COMMANDEER
THIS VEHICLE, RIGHT NOW.
162
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:22,339
I GOTTA COMMANDEER
THIS VEHICLE, ALL RIGHT?
163
00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:23,632
Y'ALL HAVE TO GET OUT,
Y'ALL GOTTA GET OUT.
164
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:24,966
NO--
165
00:06:24,967 --> 00:06:26,635
Y'ALL GOTTA GET OUT,
Y'ALL GOTTA GET OUT
OF THE CAR--
166
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:28,970
BUT LOOK, BUT LOOK,
BUT LOOK, BUT LOOK.
167
00:06:28,971 --> 00:06:30,764
LOOK, LOOK AT THIS.
168
00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:31,765
SIR, BASED ON THAT--
F.B.I.
169
00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:33,850
F.B.I., F.B.I. F.B.I.
170
00:06:33,851 --> 00:06:34,601
OK--
SO Y'ALL GOTTA
GET OUTTA THE VEHICLE.
171
00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:36,478
SO, WHAT IS
THE SITUATION?
172
00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:37,687
YEAH, WHAT?
173
00:06:37,688 --> 00:06:38,772
OK, OK, OK,
LET ME JUST--
174
00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:39,981
OK, YOU DON'T
NEED TO KNOW THE--
175
00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:40,982
ALL THE DETAILS
OF THE SITUATION.
176
00:06:40,983 --> 00:06:42,984
LET ME JUST
PUT A HYPOTHETICAL
TO YOU, THOUGH.
177
00:06:42,985 --> 00:06:43,985
OK, ALL RIGHT.
178
00:06:43,986 --> 00:06:46,446
HYPOTHETICALLY,
THERE WAS A DUDE, OK?
179
00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:48,990
AND PERHAPS THAT DUDE
WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF ROBBING
180
00:06:48,991 --> 00:06:50,158
A LIQUOR STORE, RIGHT?
181
00:06:50,159 --> 00:06:51,993
AND MAYBE HE FOUND
A SAFE AND HE WAS LIKE,
182
00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:54,162
"WOW, FINALLY, JACKPOT.
6 LIQUOR STORES,
183
00:06:54,163 --> 00:06:55,539
COULDN'T FIND A SAFE,
FINALLY FOUND A SAFE."
184
00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:57,332
WELL, THEN HE FOUND
A SAFE AND THE DUDE
WAS COOPERATIVE,
185
00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:58,500
AND HE GOT THE MONEY, RIGHT?
186
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:01,461
AND NOW THAT DUDE
IS FLEEING THE SCENE
187
00:07:01,462 --> 00:07:03,004
AS FAST AS HE
POSSIBLY CAN, OK?
188
00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:05,298
AND YOU'RE TRYING
TO APPREHEND HIM.
189
00:07:05,299 --> 00:07:06,550
I GOTTA CATCH THAT DUDE,
I GOTTA CATCH THAT DUDE.
190
00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:08,969
WHAT I WOULD SAY
IS THAT THAT IS NOT
AN F.B.I. SITUATION.
191
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:12,013
THAT'S A POLICE
OR SHERIFF SITUATION
192
00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:13,223
AND WE HAVE NOT
GOTTEN THAT CALL.
193
00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:14,641
LET ME TAKE
THIS ONE OFF YOUR HANDS.
194
00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:16,351
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M GONNA SAY THANK YOU
FOR THE TIP.
195
00:07:16,352 --> 00:07:17,978
RIGHT, RIGHT.
MM-HMM.
196
00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:19,020
SO THAT WE
CAN DO OUR JOB--
197
00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:20,021
OH, NO, NO, NO.
198
00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:21,022
THAT IS REAL GOOD OF YOU.
199
00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:22,190
BUT--BUT DID
I MENTION THIS?
200
00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:24,025
DID I MENTION THIS
ABOUT THE SAID GENTLEMAN?
201
00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:25,026
OK?
202
00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:25,652
I DON'T KNOW
IF I HAD MENTIONED THIS.
203
00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:29,656
HE IS FROM...
204
00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:31,032
HE'S FROM KENYA.
205
00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:32,075
SURE.
OH!
206
00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:34,035
WHICH MAKES IT
AN INTERNATIONAL MATTER.
207
00:07:34,036 --> 00:07:35,203
OK? ALL RIGHT?
208
00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:36,496
HE'S A KENYAN REFUGEE.
209
00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:38,039
OH.
ALL RIGHT?
210
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:39,040
HE'S GONNA
TAKE THAT MONEY
211
00:07:39,041 --> 00:07:40,876
AND TURN IT
INTO KENYAN NOTES
212
00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:43,044
AND GO BACK TO KENYA
AND TAKE A BUNCH
OF LITTLE BABIES
213
00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:44,337
AND BRING THEM
BACK HERE AND SELL THEM.
214
00:07:44,338 --> 00:07:46,047
OK--
I CAN'T HAVE THAT.
215
00:07:46,048 --> 00:07:46,673
Y'ALL LADIES COME ON
OUT OF THE VEHICLE.
216
00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:47,549
NO, YOU KNOW WHAT?
217
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:51,052
I'M GONNA LET--
YOU KNOW WHAT?
218
00:07:51,053 --> 00:07:52,888
I'M GONNA LET YOU
COMMANDEER THIS VEHICLE
219
00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:54,055
BUT IN THE BACK SEAT.
220
00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:55,223
OK, ALL RIGHT. THAT'S FINE,
AND I'M GONNA TELL YOU--
221
00:07:55,224 --> 00:07:58,685
AND WE'LL JUST--
YOU CAN COME DOWN
TO THE STATION WITH US
222
00:07:58,686 --> 00:08:00,896
AND TELL US ALL ABOUT
EVERYTHING.
223
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:02,355
BUT BEFORE WE GO
TO THE STATION,
224
00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:04,399
HOW ABOUT WE GET
AS CLOSE TO THE STATELINE
AS WE POSSIBLY CAN?
225
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,443
I'M GONNA SAY,
WHY DON'T YOU
GIVE ME THAT, AGAIN.
226
00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:08,069
AND I'M JUST GOING
TO HANG ONTO IT.
227
00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:09,070
OK, ALL RIGHT,
THAT'S FINE.
228
00:08:09,071 --> 00:08:10,363
HANG ON TO IT.
229
00:08:10,364 --> 00:08:11,656
BUT I BELIEVE I STILL
HAVE JURISDICTION OVER YOU
230
00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:12,741
AS A MEMBER OF...
231
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:15,369
DEPARTMENT OF THE TREASURY.
232
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:22,083
81 CLEAR.
233
00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:23,836
UNIT 14 CLEAR.
234
00:08:26,964 --> 00:08:28,174
YO!
235
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:43,104
HI, I'M FROM THE RENO
SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT.
236
00:08:43,105 --> 00:08:45,815
OUR FRIENDS
AT THE WASHOE COUNTY
ANIMAL SHELTER
237
00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:48,944
HAVE LOTS OF LITTLE
FRIENDS WHO ARE CURRENTLY
AVAILABLE FOR ADOPTION.
238
00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:49,945
THIS IS HECTOR.
239
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:51,238
HE'S A MALE LIZARD,
240
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,739
AND HE WAS SEIZED
BY LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICERS
241
00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:56,243
FROM A HOUSE WHERE SOME
NOT VERY NICE THINGS
WERE BEING FILMED.
242
00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:58,662
HECTOR'S GOOD
WITH CHILDREN
243
00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:00,830
AND HAS SOME
ON-CAMERA EXPERIENCE.
244
00:09:00,831 --> 00:09:04,626
THESE LITTLE GOOGLEY EYES
HAVE SEEN SOME REALLY
TERRIBLE THINGS.
245
00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:08,463
BUT HECTOR'S READY TO PUT
ALL OF THAT BEHIND HIM
WITH A NEW FAMILY
246
00:09:08,464 --> 00:09:11,174
THAT'S INVOLVED IN
WHOLESOME FAMILY-ORIENTED
ACTIVITIES...
247
00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:13,969
AND NOT PORNOGRAPHY.
248
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:16,263
THE WASHOE COUNTY
ANIMAL SHELTER,
249
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:19,975
WHERE WE PAUSE TO HELP
OUR 4-LEGGED FRIENDS.
250
00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:22,061
MM-HMM.
251
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,650
{\an8}I SHUDDER TO THINK
252
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:31,778
{\an8}WHAT WOULD HAPPEN
WERE YOU TO RAISE
A CHILD.
253
00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:33,154
{\an8}WHAT HAPPENED,
FOR EXAMPLE,
254
00:09:33,155 --> 00:09:34,447
TO THAT HAMSTER
THAT YOU HAD
FOR AWHILE?
255
00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:35,991
HE--I PUT HIM DOWN
THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL.
256
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:37,492
BY ACCIDENT.
257
00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:39,202
AND WHAT HAPPENED
TO THAT FERN...
258
00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:40,829
THAT, UH, CLEMENTINE
GAVE YOU, UH...
259
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:44,833
FOR, UH, FOR--
FOR ARBOR DAY
LAST YEAR?
260
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:45,792
I CAUGHT IT ON FIRE
IN MY BATH TUB.
261
00:09:45,793 --> 00:09:48,003
AND WHAT,
FOR EXAMPLE,
262
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:52,340
UH, HAPPENED TO, UH...
263
00:09:52,341 --> 00:09:53,717
THAT NICE, NEW TV
THAT YOU GOT?
264
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:57,470
IT'S STILL WORKING.
265
00:09:57,471 --> 00:09:59,681
IT'S WORKING
AS A COFFEE TABLE,
266
00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:01,850
BECAUSE I BUSTED IT OUT.
267
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:03,727
SHOULD NOT BE TRUSTED
WITH A CHILD.
FOR THE BEST.
268
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:05,313
I TOOK A BAT
AND I BUSTED IT OUT.
269
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:10,025
{\an8}I'M GONNA DRIVE DRUNK
WHENEVER I WANT TO
270
00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:13,361
{\an8}BECAUSE I DON'T
BELIEVE IN LAWS,
271
00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:15,822
I SAY THE HELL
WITH MY PARENTS,
272
00:10:15,823 --> 00:10:19,826
AND I'M YOUNG.
273
00:10:19,827 --> 00:10:22,705
WHOO!
274
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:24,247
YEAH!
275
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:30,045
HEY THERE, DRUNKY JOE.
276
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,880
IT'S THE GHOST
OF DRUNK DRIVING.
277
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:37,093
COME TO SEE YOU BEHIND
THE WHEEL OF YOUR TERCEL.
278
00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:38,511
MY GOODNESS,
279
00:10:38,512 --> 00:10:42,057
YOUR BREATH CERTAINLY
DOES SMELL LIKE FIREWATER.
280
00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:44,893
BLOW INTO THIS,
MY HARBINGER OF YOUR FATE,
281
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:48,147
A BREATH-A-LIZER.
282
00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:52,901
...125.
283
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:57,072
HOW DO YOU BLOW A .125?
284
00:10:57,073 --> 00:11:01,034
WHAT ARE YOU MONITORING?
285
00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:02,869
GUM, GUM.
286
00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:04,871
I DIDN'T KNOW WE
WERE REALLY GONNA--
287
00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:06,081
I DIDN'T THINK
YOU WERE REALLY GONNA--
288
00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:07,165
NO, I REALLY DID.
289
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:09,876
YOU BLEW .125.
UH, YEAH.
290
00:11:09,877 --> 00:11:11,628
IT'S 8:45 A.M.
I KNOW.
291
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:14,673
WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT,
IS THAT ?
292
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:17,301
A LITTLE BIT.
293
00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:26,142
HE'S $8,500,
294
00:11:26,143 --> 00:11:28,937
BUT IF I SELL
YOU MY BABY,
295
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:30,939
YOU'RE NOT GONNA
RAISE HIM LIKE...
296
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:37,112
ARE YOU?
UH, WHAT...
ARE YOU?
UH, WHAT...
297
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,405
WHAT IS...
I--I'M SORRY.
298
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:39,906
WHAT'S THAT MEAN?
299
00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:43,118
YOU KNOW, LIKE
ORIENTAL, AND ALL
THE "HAPPY NEW YEAR,"
300
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:45,620
EVEN THOUGH IT'S
NOT REALLY NEW YEAR,
AND ALL THAT STUFF.
301
00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:48,790
ACTUALLY THE TERM IS AN
ASIAN PACIFIC-ISLANDER
AMERICAN.
302
00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:51,793
OK, YEAH. WHATEVER.
303
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:53,711
BUT, UM--
WE DON'T PLAN ON
LIVING IN CHINA.
304
00:11:53,712 --> 00:11:55,338
I'M AFRAID I'M GOING
TO HAVE TO PASS, THOUGH.
305
00:11:55,339 --> 00:11:57,298
IT JUST FEELS WEIRD,
YOU KNOW?
306
00:11:57,299 --> 00:11:58,925
LIKE WHEN YOU GO INTO
A BLACK PERSON'S HOUSE
307
00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:00,427
AND YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO TALK ABOUT.
308
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:01,511
AND YOU DON'T KNOW
WHERE TO LOOK.
309
00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:02,262
KINDA LIKE LOOKING
AT A BLIND GUY
310
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:04,139
AND YOU DON'T KNOW
WHERE TO TALK,
311
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:06,141
AND...IT JUST FEELS WRONG.
312
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:10,019
ALL UNITS, CODE 14
ON VIRGINIA AND COURT.
313
00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:11,146
CODE 14, VIRGINIA AND COURT.
314
00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:12,147
OK, .
I GOTTA GET TO WORK.
315
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:13,148
OH, OK, UH...
OK? I GOTTA
GET TO WORK.
OH, OK, UH...
OK? I GOTTA
GET TO WORK.
316
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:14,483
ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT.
OK.
317
00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:18,153
UH...
318
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:19,821
WRONG ONE. HERE,
HERE, HERE.
319
00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:21,990
DON'T STEAL THAT! I
KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE.
320
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:23,366
OK? HANG AROUND HERE
FOR LIKE 20 MINUTES,
321
00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:24,409
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
322
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:24,994
I'M COMING!
323
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:38,006
{\an8}YOU MAKE ME LAUGH,
YOU'RE FUNNY,
324
00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:40,175
{\an8}YOU'RE--
{\an8}UH, ME?
325
00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:44,179
{\an8}YOU'RE ENTERTAINING...
YES, YOU! AND SO, YEAH.
326
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,847
I JUST HAVE TO KNOW.
327
00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:48,224
ARE YOU WIEGEL'S
BABY'S DADDY?
328
00:12:48,225 --> 00:12:50,226
DON'T LIE.
329
00:12:50,227 --> 00:12:52,353
UM...
330
00:12:52,354 --> 00:12:54,063
DID YOU LOOK AT
THE BABY'S EARS
AND THE NUT SACK?
331
00:12:54,064 --> 00:12:57,984
BECAUSE IF THE EARS
AND THE NUT SACK
332
00:12:57,985 --> 00:12:59,027
ARE--ARE REAL DARK,
333
00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:02,197
THEN IT PROBABLY
IS YOUR BABY.
334
00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:05,200
BUT IF IT'S WHITE
LIKE THE REST OF IT,
IT AIN'T.
335
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:08,244
WELL, WHEN
I CAME OUT--
336
00:13:08,245 --> 00:13:10,205
WHEN I WAS BORN,
YOU KNOW,
337
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:14,209
I, YOU KNOW, I HAD
DARK EARS AND DARK
NUT--NUT SACK,
338
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:16,753
BUT, YOU KNOW,
WHITE-LOOKING BABY.
339
00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:18,087
THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!
THEN I CHANGED...
340
00:13:18,088 --> 00:13:20,256
YEAH.
BECAUSE YOU
CAN CHECK WITH
YEAH.
BECAUSE YOU
CAN CHECK WITH
341
00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:21,257
THE EARS AND
THE NUT SACK.
RIGHT.
342
00:13:21,258 --> 00:13:24,385
{\an8}UH, WE'RE ON THE 395.
GOT A REPORT
OF A JUMPER.
343
00:13:24,386 --> 00:13:26,054
{\an8}HE'S ALMOST OUT OF
OUR JURISDICTION, TOO.
344
00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:28,223
{\an8} DAMMIT.
345
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:30,225
{\an8}DON'T EVEN
COME ANY CLOSER
'CAUSE I'LL DO IT!
346
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:32,352
IT DOESN'T
EVEN MATTER!
DOESN'T MATTER!
347
00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:33,436
Y'ALL DONE!
GET IN YOUR CARS
AND GO.
348
00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:34,479
JUST STEP AWAY.
349
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,314
'CAUSE I'M DOING IT!
NO, NO, NO, NO!
350
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:37,857
YOU LOOK, YOU LOOK.
LOOK, LOOK, LOOK,
LOOK, LOOK, LOOK.
351
00:13:37,858 --> 00:13:39,025
PLEASE STEP
BACK FOR US.
352
00:13:39,026 --> 00:13:40,068
NO, NO. YOU DON'T
UNDERSTAND WHAT
I'M DEALING WITH.
353
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:42,445
ALL RIGHT, LOOK, LOOK.
I GOT UP THIS MORNING.
354
00:13:42,446 --> 00:13:44,697
RIGHT, AND I LOOKED IN
THE MIRROR AND I WAS
LIKE, "OH. MAN.
355
00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:47,242
NAH, I CAN'T DO THIS
ANYMORE, ALL RIGHT?"
356
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:48,743
'CAUSE I REACHED MY
PEAK. I REACHED MY PEAK.
357
00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:50,203
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M
SAYING? YOU LOOK UP...
358
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,871
YOU--YOU LOOK AT
YOURSELF AND YOU'RE
LIKE, "YOU KNOW WHAT?
359
00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:52,664
"I'M THE BEST
I'M GONNA BE.
360
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,082
I'M NOT GONNA GET
BETTER THAN THIS."
361
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,250
NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO, NO!
SIR, SIR!
NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO, NO!
SIR, SIR!
362
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:56,334
LOOK, LOOK, LOOK!
363
00:13:56,335 --> 00:14:00,255
ANDREW, ANDREW!
WE'VE--WE'VE--WE'VE
MET YOU BEFORE.
364
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:02,715
YEAH.
YOU--YOU COULD
DO MUCH BETTER!
YEAH.
YOU--YOU COULD
DO MUCH BETTER!
365
00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:04,551
AH, I BEG TO DIFFER.
366
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:05,260
YOU COULD DO
SO MUCH BETTER!
367
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:07,262
WHAT WAS THE LAST
BOOK YOU READ?
368
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,264
UH, OH, OH! SUPERFUDGE.
369
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:10,765
SEE?
THAT'S RIGHT.
370
00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:11,891
YOU READ THAT
RECENTLY?
371
00:14:11,892 --> 00:14:12,892
OR DID YOU READ
THAT--
372
00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:14,269
HAVE YOU READ
IT RECENTLY?
373
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:16,354
OH, MY GOD, THAT'S
A BOOK YOU RE-READ,
374
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:17,397
AND RE-READ,
AND RE-READ.
375
00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:18,940
HAVE YOU READ
ANYTHING OTHER
THAN SUPERFUDGE?
376
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:21,276
IS THERE ANY OTHER
BOOK? THAT'S MY--
377
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:22,277
YES! YES!
378
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:24,070
THERE'S TALES OF
THE FOURTH GRADE NOTHING!
379
00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:26,614
UH, THERE'S, UH,
ME, MARGARET!
IT'S ME MARGARET!
380
00:14:26,615 --> 00:14:28,283
THERE'S TONS OF
OTHER...BY THE WAY,
THERE'S BOOKS...
381
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:30,285
THERE'S BOOKS
NOT WRITTEN BY
JUDY BLUME!
382
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:32,287
ANDREW, THIS
IS BULL.
383
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:33,288
THIS IS A PLEA
FOR ATTENTION.
384
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:34,289
YOU HAVE
NO INTENTION
OF JUMPING.
385
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:35,498
YOU WOULDN'T JUMP--
RIGHT.
386
00:14:35,499 --> 00:14:37,458
GIVE YOU $10
IF YOU JUMP OFF IT
RIGHT NOW.
387
00:14:37,459 --> 00:14:39,127
THAT'S OFFENSIVE!
388
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:41,296
THAT'S OFFENSIVE THAT MY
LIFE IS $10.
$10. 10 BUCKS.
389
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:42,297
YOU COME HERE TO SAVE
MY LIFE--
I GOT 5 ON IT.
390
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:43,172
15. YOU GOT 15?
391
00:14:43,173 --> 00:14:45,967
25.
I'LL PUT IN 20.
392
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:46,926
I GOT 25 RIGHT HERE.
393
00:14:46,927 --> 00:14:47,302
AT LEAST WE'RE IN
THE BALLPARK HERE.
394
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:49,095
25.
I GOT 5.
25.
I GOT 5.
395
00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:53,099
25 PLUS 15. THAT'S
20. 130 BUCKS.
396
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,684
YOU GOING ONCE,
GOING TWICE.
397
00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:56,353
OH, JUNIOR!
398
00:14:58,022 --> 00:14:59,023
WHAT THE...
399
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,318
OH, HE'S PEEING
IN HIS PANTS,
400
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:04,903
WHICH MEANS HE'S
PROBABLY ALIVE,
RIGHT?
401
00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:17,832
HI! I'M TRUDY WIEGEL.
402
00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:21,210
WITH ALL THE HUSTLE
AND BUSTLE OF TODAY'S
WORK-A-DAY WORLD,
403
00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:23,963
WHO HAS THE TIME TO
MAKE A BABY YOURSELF,
404
00:15:23,964 --> 00:15:25,214
THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY,
405
00:15:25,215 --> 00:15:27,675
WITH ALL THAT HARD WORK
AND MESSY CLEAN-UP?
406
00:15:32,056 --> 00:15:36,225
THIS BABY IS WHITE,
FULL OF LOVE, JOY,
AND WONDER,
407
00:15:36,226 --> 00:15:39,312
AND COULD BE YOURS
WITH JUST ONE PHONE CALL.
408
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:43,650
SO JUST CALL 911
FOR THE RENO
SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT.
409
00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:45,360
ALL BABY SALES
ARE FINAL.
410
00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:48,237
NO REFUNDS,
NO EXCHANGES.
411
00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:51,366
ORDER YOURS TODAY
WHILE HE'S STILL CUTE!
412
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,409
SAY, "BYE, BYE, MOMMY."
413
00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:55,788
"BYE, BYE, MOMMY."
414
00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:23,315
{\an8}I GOTTA--I TELL YOU,
I'VE GOT A SLIGHT
CONCERN ABOUT, UM...
415
00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:27,276
IF I AM THE FATHER
OF WIEGEL'S BABY.
416
00:16:27,277 --> 00:16:29,028
AND IT'S A--IT'S
A REAL SIMPLE ONE,
417
00:16:29,029 --> 00:16:31,990
I THINK IT'S, UH,
THE CONCERN EVERY
FATHER PROBABLY HAS.
418
00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:35,284
FLIPPER ARMS?
419
00:16:35,285 --> 00:16:36,202
{\an8}OH, FOR CRYING
OUT LOUD.
420
00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:38,579
{\an8}OH, TERRY,
TERRY, TERRY.
421
00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:39,205
{\an8}WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED?
422
00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:41,290
{\an8}SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT!
423
00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:43,376
{\an8}TERRY?
{\an8}TERRY!
424
00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:44,293
KNOCK, KNOCK.
HI.
425
00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:45,128
KNOCK, KNOCK.
426
00:16:45,129 --> 00:16:47,213
GUESS WHO?
WHO'S THERE?
GUESS WHO?
WHO'S THERE?
427
00:16:47,214 --> 00:16:49,757
SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT.
WE JUST SAID THAT.
428
00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:50,758
WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANT?
429
00:16:50,759 --> 00:16:52,051
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
430
00:16:52,052 --> 00:16:54,053
I'M LETTING YOU IN.
I DIDN'T LET--
OPEN THE DOOR.
431
00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:55,054
KNOCK, KNOCK.
432
00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:56,264
WHO'S THERE?
SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT.
433
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,265
HEY, WHAT DO
YOU GUYS WANT?
434
00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:59,934
WE HAVE A WARRANT
THIS TIME, LET US IN.
435
00:16:59,935 --> 00:17:01,811
OK, HOLD ON. I'M JUST
GOING TO GO TO THE
KITCHEN FOR A SECOND.
436
00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:03,104
OK. COME RIGHT BACK.
WE'LL WAIT HERE.
437
00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:04,105
'CAUSE WE HAVE A WARRANT.
438
00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:05,314
I'M GONNA MAKE
YOU SOME LEMONADE.
439
00:17:05,315 --> 00:17:07,775
OK, OPEN THE
DOOR FIRST, PLEASE, TERRY.
440
00:17:07,776 --> 00:17:08,651
AND WE DON'T
HAVE AN HOUR.
441
00:17:08,652 --> 00:17:09,444
OPEN THE
MIME DOOR. GOOD.
442
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:11,571
THE LADY AT THAT
HOUSE OVER THERE--
443
00:17:11,572 --> 00:17:13,781
OK.
LOOKING OUT
HER WINDOW,
444
00:17:13,782 --> 00:17:15,324
AND SEEING--
HI. WHAT?
445
00:17:15,325 --> 00:17:16,159
WHAT DID SHE SEE?
446
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:19,787
SHE SAW ME, UH,
TOTALLY PARTYING.
447
00:17:19,788 --> 00:17:20,621
CAN YOU DESCRIBE
"PARTYING" FOR ME,
448
00:17:20,622 --> 00:17:22,331
PLEASE, IN MORE
DETAIL.
I GOT A CAKE--
449
00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:23,249
MM-HMM.
AND THEN I
GOT MY FLUTE--
MM-HMM.
AND THEN I
GOT MY FLUTE--
450
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:26,586
MM-HMM.
AND I GO LIKE THIS.
451
00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:27,295
♪ BOO-BOO-BOO-BOO ♪
452
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:28,337
TERRY, CAN I ASK
YOU A QUESTION?
453
00:17:28,338 --> 00:17:29,338
♪ BOO-BOO-BOO-BOO ♪
454
00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:30,298
WHAT?
455
00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:33,134
IS THAT FLUTE
ANOTHER MAN'S
PENIS?
456
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:35,636
WHOA, WHOA!
TIME OUT. HA HA.
457
00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:36,637
NO, TIME IN.
NO.
458
00:17:36,638 --> 00:17:37,805
GAME...
THERE'S NO TIME OUTS.
459
00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:38,806
GAME IN.
THERE'S NO TIME
OUTS IN LIFE.
460
00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:39,849
WE'RE
BACK IN PLAY.
461
00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:41,184
WELL, MAYBE
THE FLUTE EVOLVED.
462
00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:42,351
OK, NOW WE'RE
GETTING SOMEWHERE.
463
00:17:42,352 --> 00:17:43,644
I SAID MAYBE, I
DIDN'T SAY IT DID.
464
00:17:43,645 --> 00:17:45,354
FIRST OF ALL,
I'M NOT GAY.
465
00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:47,356
I'M SITTING HERE
WAITING FOR MY GIRLFRIEND
TO PICK ME UP.
466
00:17:47,357 --> 00:17:48,608
YOU'RE WAITING FOR
YOUR GIRLFRIEND
TO PICK YOU UP.
467
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:49,275
WHAT'S YOUR
GIRLFRIEND'S NAME
AGAIN, TERRY?
468
00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:50,276
SEEEEEMJI.
469
00:17:50,277 --> 00:17:51,319
SEEEEEMJI?
470
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:52,320
SPELLED?
471
00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:56,699
S-E-E-E-E-E-M,
472
00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:58,284
SILENT "J" "I."
473
00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:00,995
OH, LOOK WHO'S HERE!
HI, SEEEEEMJI!
HI, BABY!
474
00:18:00,996 --> 00:18:02,163
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
475
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:05,124
UH, I DON'T KNOW.
THE 5-O'S ALL
UP IN MY GRILL.
476
00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:07,168
WHY ARE YOU GUYS
ALWAYS HARASSING HIM?
477
00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:09,170
IT'S ABSOLUTELY
RIDICULOUS.
HI, SEEEEEMJI.
478
00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:10,963
HI, SWEETIE.
I LOVE YOU.
HI, SWEETIE.
I LOVE YOU.
479
00:18:10,964 --> 00:18:12,632
I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU,
SEEEEEMJI.
480
00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:14,717
HI, I'M SEEEEEMJI.
THE "J" IS SILENT.
481
00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:15,843
THIS IS
MY GIRLFRIEND
SEEEEEMJI.
482
00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:16,677
HI.
483
00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:19,180
WOW, YOU'RE...
YOU'RE A--A...
484
00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:20,139
AN ITEM.
WE'RE A COUPLE.
485
00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:21,808
WE'RE ENGAGED,
BY THE WAY.
486
00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:23,392
WOW.
CONGRATULATIONS.
WOW.
CONGRATULATIONS.
487
00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:24,393
I GOT THIS AT
LORD OF THE WEDDING RINGS.
488
00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:26,479
IT'S BEAUTIFUL,
ISN'T IT?
489
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,689
DOWN THE STREET.
YOU KNOW THAT STORE,
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
490
00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:30,066
We're expecting.
491
00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:30,650
YOU'RE EXPECTING?
492
00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:32,401
MM-HMM.
WOW!
MY GOD!
493
00:18:32,402 --> 00:18:33,444
BY TERRY?
BY TERRY.
494
00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:36,030
TERRY PUT HIS WIENER--
495
00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:37,156
NO, NO, NO.
INSIDE YOU?
496
00:18:37,157 --> 00:18:38,407
HE HAD, UM,
WE DID IT,
497
00:18:38,408 --> 00:18:40,409
UM, WITH, UM,
ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION.
498
00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:41,536
OH!
499
00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:43,871
BECAUSE HE HAS
A CONDITION NOW,
SO WE DON'T...
500
00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:44,580
WE DON'T ACTUALLY...
501
00:18:44,581 --> 00:18:46,332
Have sex in that way.
502
00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:47,333
OH, OK.
503
00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:48,501
THIS IS A LOT
OF INFORMATION.
504
00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:50,253
A LOT OF THIS
IS STARTING TO
MAKE SENSE NOW.
505
00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:51,420
WE SHOULD PROBABLY
GET GOING.
506
00:18:51,421 --> 00:18:53,422
WHEN WE GET IN
THE BEDROOM...WE
GET IN THE BEDROOM,
507
00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:56,552
AND WE GET NUDE,
AND THEN I CAN'T GET...
AND I VOMIT.
508
00:18:57,427 --> 00:18:59,388
OK.
509
00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:09,480
ALL WIEGEL'S
LITTLE BABY DOES
510
00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:12,483
IS STAGGER AROUND
LIKE A RETARD AND
LOOK AT BOOBS,
511
00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:14,528
SO, YEAH,
IT COULD BE MINE.
512
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:20,449
YOU HAVE MADE
A VERY GOOD DEAL
FOR $6,000.
513
00:19:20,450 --> 00:19:21,742
WE'RE VERY EXCITED.
514
00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:23,077
WE'RE EXCITED
TO BE PARENTS.
515
00:19:23,078 --> 00:19:24,912
BENSON! WE'RE GONNA
NAME HIM BENSON.
516
00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:26,414
OH! HE LOOKS
LIKE A BENSON!
517
00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:28,249
HE'S A--THAT'S
ALSO A GREAT TV SHOW.
518
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:29,417
OK.
519
00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:33,087
SO, WHERE WILL, UH,
YOUR--YOUR SON BE LIVING?
520
00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:34,255
WE LIVE IN
TAHOE.
YES.
521
00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:35,298
OOH! WHERE'S THAT?
522
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:38,259
IT'S ACTUALLY ABOUT,
UH, 30, 40 MILES.
523
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:39,594
IT'S BEAUTIFUL!
HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN?
524
00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:40,344
YEAH, MY CAR WON'T
MAKE IT THAT FAR.
525
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:41,387
OH.
526
00:19:41,388 --> 00:19:42,513
YOU SHOULD
REALLY VISIT.
IT'S GORGEOUS.
527
00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:44,307
YOU DON'T HAVE
TO ACTUALLY.
NOT US.
528
00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:45,308
WELL, YOU KNOW,
THE AREA.
529
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:46,309
YOU KNOW, I WOULD
COME TO THE AREA.
530
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:48,520
YES?
WIEGEL?
YES?
WIEGEL?
531
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,316
FOUND THIS BY
YOUR LOCKER.
532
00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:54,692
OH, MY GOD.
533
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:55,484
D.N.A. TEST
RESULTS?
534
00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:58,614
OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD,
OH, MY GOD.
535
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:02,241
WIEGEL, I AIN'T--
I AIN'T--I AIN'T
GOT MUCH.
536
00:20:02,242 --> 00:20:03,492
I WISH I HAD
AT LEAST KNOWN.
537
00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:04,577
NO, YOU KNOW WHAT--
YOU KNOW WHAT,
538
00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:07,330
LIKE HAVING A--
HAVING A--HAVING
A KID MIGHT, LIKE,
539
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:09,916
GIVE ME REASON
TO--TO KEEP GOING.
540
00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:12,251
NO, NO, NO.
I THOUGHT IT'D BE BEST
IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW.
541
00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:13,252
LIKE HAVING SOMEBODY
TO KINDA FILL
542
00:20:13,253 --> 00:20:14,253
MY FOOTSTEPS
AND KEEP GOING.
543
00:20:14,254 --> 00:20:16,422
IT'S NOT NECESSARY.
IT'S NOT NECESSARY.
544
00:20:16,423 --> 00:20:19,133
I CAN'T BELIEVE
THAT FOR $6,000,
545
00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:21,135
YOU'RE JUST GONNA
NOT EVEN TELL ME.
546
00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:22,136
HOW 'BOUT 10?
SOLD.
547
00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:23,472
GREAT.
548
00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:27,141
OH, I'M GONNA BE
THE BEST MOMMY EVER!
549
00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:28,351
JUST PUT, UM,
"BABY" IN THE MEMO.
550
00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:29,352
GREAT.
551
00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:30,353
DELORES?
552
00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:33,231
HERE YOU GO.
GREAT!
553
00:20:34,441 --> 00:20:36,817
HAVE A GREAT LIFE!
554
00:20:36,818 --> 00:20:37,818
THANKS!
555
00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:39,820
BYE!
BYE, BABY!
556
00:20:39,821 --> 00:20:43,157
WHOO! 10 G-BOMBS.
557
00:20:43,158 --> 00:20:44,784
GOOD WORK.
THAT WAS GOOD.
5 AND 5.
558
00:20:44,785 --> 00:20:45,826
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT
YOU WERE CAPABLE OF THAT.
559
00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:47,495
NO, I JUST DID
A LITTLE CAYENNE PEPPER
IN EACH EYE.
560
00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:49,705
OH. YOU SHOULD GO
INTO COMMUNITY THEATER.
561
00:20:49,706 --> 00:20:50,831
NO, .
562
00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:52,708
{\an8}CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
MTV NETWORKS
563
00:20:52,709 --> 00:20:53,585
{\an8}CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
- www.ncicap.org--
564
00:20:55,462 --> 00:20:56,879
THAT'S NOT HOW
THE SECRET WORKS.
565
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,799
YOU CAN'T GO, "OH, I HOPE
THAT PERSON GETS KILLED."
566
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,176
ANDREW, ANDREW,
WE'RE NOT FAMILIAR
WITH THE SECRET.
567
00:21:02,177 --> 00:21:03,344
WE HAVE NOT READ
THE SECRET.
568
00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:04,637
WE'RE FAMILIAR WITH YOU.
569
00:21:04,638 --> 00:21:07,139
YOU HAVE TO GET AHOLD OF IT.
IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
570
00:21:07,140 --> 00:21:08,474
GET OFF THE BRIDGE,
GO BACK TO YOUR
MOM AND DAD'S HOUSE,
571
00:21:08,475 --> 00:21:11,185
WE'LL BORROW YOUR
COPY OF THE SECRET,
572
00:21:11,186 --> 00:21:12,895
AND YOU KNOW WHAT,
WE'LL GET A LITTLE
BOOK CLUB GOING.
573
00:21:13,981 --> 00:21:15,356
I READ IT.
IT'S NOT THAT GOOD.
574
00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:17,191
YOU KNOW WHAT?
JUST 'CAUSE YOU SAID THAT,
I'M OUT OF HERE.
575
00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:18,192
NO, NO, NO, NO!
576
00:21:18,193 --> 00:21:20,194
HE'S WRONG!
HE'S WRONG!
577
00:21:22,739 --> 00:21:24,366
SORRY! I'M SORRY.
I LOVED IT.
41586
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