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1
00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:08,424
'Why don't you
just cut the crap?'
2
00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:09,258
You're good at sticking
to your story
3
00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:11,260
but we're onto you, alright?
4
00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:14,388
Do you know
who's behind that mirror?
5
00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:15,806
You know who's there?
6
00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:18,934
The DEA, the FBI,
and they're about to
7
00:00:18,935 --> 00:00:21,979
crawl right up your puckered
pooper because we got...
8
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,772
Oh, my God.
It totally works.
9
00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:26,066
You can actually drink
a soda off your ass.
10
00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:26,817
I told you.
11
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,444
- I wanna get this.
- Get it.
12
00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:29,445
Does your camera-phone
have a flash?
13
00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:32,072
- No.
- Oh, let me get the light.
14
00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:33,782
- Cheese.
- Cheese.
15
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:43,084
Um... sorry.
16
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:45,961
We've been in here
a while.
17
00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:48,548
Sorry to interrupt.
Continue.
18
00:00:50,258 --> 00:00:52,426
- So, yeah, you better talk.
- Hello, special agent.
19
00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:53,844
Welcome back into the room.
20
00:00:55,513 --> 00:00:56,930
{\an8}- Come on, man.
- She tricked me.
21
00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:58,308
{\an8}It was a trick.
22
00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:04,773
{\an8}Pow!
23
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,359
{\an8}- I got it.
- Whoa!
24
00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,404
{\an8}- Whoa!
- Oh! Oh!
25
00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:19,746
{\an8}Alright. Okay.
I got him by the belt.
26
00:01:21,372 --> 00:01:24,292
{\an8}Get back in the building!
No loitering!
27
00:01:26,377 --> 00:01:28,296
{\an8}Aah!
28
00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:45,854
{\an8}It's real quiet in here
without 'em, isn't it?
29
00:01:45,855 --> 00:01:47,815
{\an8}Mm-hm.
It's kinda nice.
30
00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:49,733
{\an8}- It smells better too.
- Smells better.
31
00:01:49,734 --> 00:01:52,319
Does Garcia not always
smell like
32
00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:55,489
bean farts and zest?
33
00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:56,365
- Yeah.
- Zest soap.
34
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:59,618
Well, it's old,
old-Mexican-man smell.
35
00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:02,037
- Oh, it's so bad.
- Mexican man, yeah?
36
00:02:02,038 --> 00:02:04,540
- 'I say good riddance to him.'
- You know what I don't miss?
37
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:05,374
I don't miss
that tall black guy.
38
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:08,544
That's where you and I
part ways.
39
00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:11,046
'Do you really forget
Jones' name already?'
40
00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:13,382
Well, if I'm, if I'm honest,
a sister does miss a brother.
41
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:15,092
- Ho!
- Hello.
42
00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:17,553
Oh, yes!
43
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,221
Ah-ha-ha.
44
00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:20,347
- Read 'em and weep, people.
- Oh, my God!
45
00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:23,392
Official qualified
mounted police.
46
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:26,728
I'm wearin' maternity panties,
but I didn't come in in those.
47
00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:27,813
- Yeah, you did.
- Yeah, you did.
48
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:29,064
Well, that was yesterday
49
00:02:29,065 --> 00:02:30,649
but today I'm wearing
my slacks.
50
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,192
Uh, do you people
from the mounted unit
51
00:02:32,193 --> 00:02:33,235
have any other business
in here?
52
00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:34,862
'Cause otherwise,
the regular deputies--
53
00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:37,114
Yeah, alright. If you need
us to ride by where you are...
54
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,740
Oh, I heard they were
gonna give you a pony
55
00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:39,741
'cause you're so small.
56
00:02:39,742 --> 00:02:40,701
Oh, that's
a good joke, Kimball.
57
00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:42,911
- That's real funny.
- Real funny. Yeah.
58
00:02:42,912 --> 00:02:44,371
- Let's, let's leave that...
- You don't have to turn on me.
59
00:02:44,372 --> 00:02:46,915
- I'm not the one prancing--
- 'Hey, partner.'
60
00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:48,584
- Let's ride.
- Yo!
61
00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:50,085
- Oh!
- 'Wow!'
62
00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:51,545
'I didn't think
you could get any gayer.'
63
00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:53,797
Have fun making out on
the back seat of your horse.
64
00:02:53,798 --> 00:02:54,423
- Oh, I will.
- Woo-hoo!
65
00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:56,425
Yee-hah!
66
00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:58,927
- You left your helmet, [bleep].
- Hey.
67
00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:00,470
- Hey, hey.
- Your horsey hat!
68
00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:02,931
I'm gonna take it and see if
they'll give me a ride.
69
00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:04,933
'Don't go, don't go
kissing up to them'
70
00:03:04,934 --> 00:03:05,851
just 'cause they're in
mounted now.
71
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,269
- 'Lock the door.'
- She is a kiss-up.
72
00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:09,438
She can't fit that butt
on a horse.
73
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:11,315
First time Garcia's been mounted
in about 20 years.
74
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:13,400
Well, mounted unit.
75
00:03:13,401 --> 00:03:17,362
You couldn't pay someone
to mount his unit if the...
76
00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:19,948
Hang on, give me a moment.
77
00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:33,128
Butch.
78
00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:35,173
- Sundance.
- 'Yeah.'
79
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:40,510
Whoa! Look at that.
Let me try that.
80
00:03:40,511 --> 00:03:43,305
Oh!
81
00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:44,474
There you go.
82
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,351
This is the life, partner.
83
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:48,436
I ain't going back.
84
00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:52,147
Ahem.
85
00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:52,898
- Oh, man!
- You good?
86
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,442
Yeah!
Something in the air.
87
00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:56,443
You sure you're good?
88
00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:03,450
I'm okay.
I'm fine.
89
00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:05,369
I'm alright, uh...
90
00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:14,503
That's a shame.
91
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:16,880
Giddy-up, partner.
Come on.
92
00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:21,510
{\an8}- I don't wanna be racist.
- Okay.
93
00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:25,222
{\an8}But, and I know that...
94
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:26,556
{\an8}...Africans-Americans
95
00:04:26,557 --> 00:04:29,476
{\an8}are very proud
96
00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:31,603
stoic, intelligent people.
97
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:34,022
But there's a reason
why black people
98
00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:36,942
don't ride horses, because
they have like a jungle scent
99
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:39,486
that, that animals
are afraid of.
100
00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:44,366
I don't see how anybody
could take that as... racist.
101
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:45,367
That's what I told Jones,
but he...
102
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:48,537
Now, he has-hasn't talked
to me for four days
103
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:51,541
and he looked at me like he
was gonna punch me in the chest.
104
00:04:58,006 --> 00:04:59,256
{\an8}Sheriff's de...
105
00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:00,841
{\an8}Shh!
106
00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:03,136
{\an8}Sheriff, sheriff's department.
107
00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:06,388
{\an8}Hey, I saw my P.O.
on Tuesday.
108
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:08,223
Oh, yeah.
No, this ain't about that.
109
00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:09,099
- Oh, okay. Good.
- 'Yeah.'
110
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:11,393
Uh, they called
and said we were comin'.
111
00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:13,186
We're from the
sheriff's department.
112
00:05:13,187 --> 00:05:15,939
We got a court order that one
of your paintings is offensive
113
00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:17,566
and we're supposed
to take it down.
114
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:18,567
They said, uh,
the offensive one was
115
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:20,569
pretty obvious,
so we'll just, uh...
116
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:23,156
- Help yourself.
- Yeah.
117
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:28,035
Do you have, like,
an offensive section
118
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:31,413
or like the porn section
in a video store?
119
00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:33,206
It's an art gallery,
so it's all pretty offensive.
120
00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:35,208
Yeah, it's, it's all
pretty offensive to me.
121
00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:35,626
Okay.
122
00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:41,758
That looks like he's got,
like, a big red dog [bleep].
123
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:45,385
- Bingo.
- Chocolate tits.
124
00:05:45,386 --> 00:05:47,054
Get a load of this.
125
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,096
It seems...
126
00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:50,308
It seems unpatriotic.
127
00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:52,726
Robot balls.
128
00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:55,604
To me, that looks
just like robot balls.
129
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:57,314
- Robot balls?
- Robot balls.
130
00:05:57,315 --> 00:06:00,817
Little, little chocolate
robot balls.
131
00:06:00,818 --> 00:06:02,528
'Is it painted with poop?'
132
00:06:03,404 --> 00:06:05,364
I'm gonna smell it.
133
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,580
Maybe you gotta scratch it.
134
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:17,418
You ain't supposed
to touch nothing.
135
00:06:18,377 --> 00:06:19,628
Don't do that.
136
00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:22,589
A little piece came off.
137
00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:25,217
A piece came off.
Walk away.
138
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,636
Sir, which one of these
offends you the most, you think?
139
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:29,680
Well, I am tired of looking
at that giant [bleep].
140
00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:38,105
- I don't see it.
- I don't either.
141
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:39,481
I don't see it either.
142
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:41,149
What are we supposed
to do with these?
143
00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:42,609
'I don't know, but would you
could you help me'
144
00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:45,195
'put his over my couch?'
145
00:06:48,407 --> 00:06:48,907
{\an8}911 call.
146
00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:51,619
{\an8}Here at the old brothel.
147
00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:53,620
{\an8}Sheriff's department!
148
00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:54,830
{\an8}- Somebody call 911?
- Are you alright?
149
00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:56,164
- Yeah.
- Are you okay?
150
00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:57,833
- 'Who called 911?'
- He did.
151
00:06:57,834 --> 00:06:59,292
Sir, uh, do you--
152
00:06:59,293 --> 00:07:01,002
Oh, God, he's bleeding.
He's bleeding.
153
00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:03,505
- She hit me.
- Sir.
154
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,091
She, she hit you?
155
00:07:06,425 --> 00:07:08,343
Ma'am, I'm sorry.
You're under arrest.
156
00:07:08,344 --> 00:07:11,388
- I hate to do this, but, um...
- No, no, no, no.
157
00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:13,682
- I paid for that.
- You paid for that?
158
00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:15,809
You paid for her to hit you?
159
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:18,019
- 'Alright.'
- 'She kicked me!'
160
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:20,021
- Oh, she kicked you!
- She kicked you?
161
00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:21,648
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, dude.
162
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:23,525
Ma'am, you are not allowed
to kick or beat the...
163
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:24,568
'I don't care how rowdy
they get here'
164
00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:27,070
'you just gotta call
the police.'
165
00:07:27,071 --> 00:07:29,990
Shh. I paid for it.
I paid for that.
166
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:32,033
You paid for that too?
167
00:07:32,034 --> 00:07:33,827
Alright.
So, you called--
168
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:36,413
- You called the police...
- I can't drive.
169
00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:38,832
I'm too, I'm too drunk.
I can't drive.
170
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,834
Uh, uh, you guys gotta give me
a ride home.
171
00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:42,878
That's why you called 911?
172
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:45,338
I need a ride home.
173
00:07:45,339 --> 00:07:47,716
Is it alright, if we leave
him cuffed to this chair?
174
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:50,051
- No! Take him away.
- Oh, God!
175
00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:52,095
Senator, we can't keep coming
out here and doing this.
176
00:07:52,096 --> 00:07:54,014
- Senator, I voted for you.
- Ah!
177
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:05,525
'Okay. No, no, no.'
178
00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:07,235
- No. No. No. Don't...
- Careful, careful.
179
00:08:07,236 --> 00:08:08,361
- No, no, no.
- No. No. No.
180
00:08:08,362 --> 00:08:10,906
- No. Careful, Patrick, careful.
- Careful.
181
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:13,909
- This is Deputy Bates.
- Deputy Bates.
182
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:17,662
Patrick, he was a wonderful,
uh, member of our force.
183
00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:21,208
Wonderful, one of our great new
recruits a couple years back.
184
00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:23,376
Yeah, he had a lot
of promise and his very...
185
00:08:23,377 --> 00:08:25,795
Unfortunately, on his
very first day on the job
186
00:08:25,796 --> 00:08:27,756
uh, he had
a little accident.
187
00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:29,090
- Friendly fire.
- Yeah.
188
00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:31,635
Jim shot him in the head,
and now...
189
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:34,179
- He's back! Happy day!
- He's back!
190
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,931
Uh, yeah, for legal, uh, reasons
191
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:38,308
uh, we either
had to take him back
192
00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:42,062
or, uh, settle a rather large,
uh, settlement.
193
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:44,272
- So look, where we got you.
- We're happy to have him!
194
00:08:44,273 --> 00:08:46,233
Yay!
Patrick's back!
195
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,275
Yay!
196
00:08:47,276 --> 00:08:48,318
- Don't get...
- Okay...
197
00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:49,402
- Okay.
- Don't get all...
198
00:08:49,403 --> 00:08:50,904
Patrick...
199
00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:53,114
No, no, no!
We have a special phone.
200
00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:55,492
- A special phone for Patrick.
- No. Special phone.
201
00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:57,702
- Emergency phone.
- 911!
202
00:08:57,703 --> 00:09:00,247
Deputy Bates.
Do you remember?
203
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:02,582
Remember?
204
00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:04,292
- Yay!
- Yay!
205
00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:05,627
Hello?
206
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:07,087
- Hello.
- Hello.
207
00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:08,588
Be very gentle.
208
00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:09,339
No, no! Don't!
Stop, stop!
209
00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:10,840
- Do not eat her baby!
- Okay.
210
00:09:10,841 --> 00:09:12,467
- Do not eat her baby!
- Look who's back.
211
00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:16,054
Who's the most special
guy in town?
212
00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:18,306
- It's Patrick.
- Oh!
213
00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:21,309
Fingers used to be my hand.
Not... No. Ow! Ow!
214
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:25,146
Your badge is very shiny,
and it looks just like mine.
215
00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:27,148
- Isn't that neat?
- Look at that.
216
00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:29,150
- Oh-oh!
- Oh...
217
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:31,319
- I don't...
- Just, just let him do it.
218
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:32,612
Just let him do it.
219
00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:34,281
We've all been there.
220
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:38,619
♪ Ah-ah-ah ah-ah-ah ah ♪
221
00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:42,747
{\an8}The doctor said I had come
down with a rare case
222
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:46,835
{\an8}of what he called,
uh, equine, uh
223
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:49,713
{\an8}olfactosis,
uh, which is basically
224
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:52,757
my nasal passages
and horse hide
225
00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:53,967
uh, don't get along.
226
00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:57,178
Unfortunately, it's gonna be
back in the old black and white
227
00:09:57,179 --> 00:09:59,055
uh, with Jonsey and I.
228
00:09:59,056 --> 00:10:02,017
I know he's gonna be,
uh, sad to leave, but, uh
229
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:04,060
you know, partners are partners,
and, uh
230
00:10:04,061 --> 00:10:07,106
and law is thicker than water,
huh, as they say.
231
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,151
{\an8}Ladies. Yep.
232
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:12,819
{\an8}- Ha, ha! Hey.
- Hi.
233
00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:14,529
{\an8}Can we get a picture
of your horse?
234
00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:15,864
- Would you mind?
- Oh. Hey. Of course.
235
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:19,159
Couple stallions
right here, huh?
236
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,660
Alright.
237
00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:22,370
- Thank you.
- 'No problem.'
238
00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:23,913
- 'You are real cute.'
- Thank you.
239
00:10:23,914 --> 00:10:25,832
'You go, you go
to the university, or...'
240
00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:27,042
- Nope.
- Nope?
241
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:28,209
What are y'all...
What is everybody doing later?
242
00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:31,379
- Hey, how are you doing there?
- Hey. How you doing, man?
243
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:32,464
'I'm alright. Hey, ladies.'
244
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:35,258
I'll get back with y'all,
ladies. Alright. What's up?
245
00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:38,094
Well, uh, the doctor says
I can't get within 15 feet
246
00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:40,221
of, uh, the horse there.
247
00:10:40,222 --> 00:10:41,807
Can you hold on
for a second?
248
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:45,977
Oh, hey there, Jones.
Remember me? Garcia?
249
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:48,438
- Your partner? Hello?
- Hm?
250
00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:50,899
I mean, uh, we are still
gonna be partners.
251
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,443
I mean, uh, I mean,
I know I can't ride a horse.
252
00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:54,986
So I'm reckoning
you're gonna come back
253
00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:56,946
in the Crown Vic with me,
I mean, uh
254
00:10:56,947 --> 00:10:59,574
we do have
14 years here, buddy.
255
00:10:59,575 --> 00:11:00,909
Well, 'cause you're, you're...
256
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:03,411
- Because you're, you know...
- Well, yeah.
257
00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:04,913
Because you're incapacitated
doesn't mean that I, you know
258
00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:07,707
I, I gotta go back
to, you know...
259
00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:09,084
I'm, I'm here, man.
260
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:11,378
Well, you are here,
and you are my partner.
261
00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:13,004
And if you wanna leave me
hanging out to dry
262
00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:14,923
that's fine,
you don't need me then.
263
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:17,759
I don't need you either, okay?
264
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,804
And I'll, I'll talk
to you later.
265
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:23,932
Hey, old boy.
Garcia.
266
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:25,975
I, I do need you.
Hold on. Come on back.
267
00:11:25,976 --> 00:11:28,728
Yeah?
268
00:11:28,729 --> 00:11:30,980
Say, white girls love horses.
269
00:11:30,981 --> 00:11:31,940
White girls love horses.
270
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:38,238
{\an8}Holy [bleep]!
271
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,114
{\an8}Reno, we got a officer down.
272
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:42,075
{\an8}I need medical
attention immediately.
273
00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:44,160
{\an8}- Junior! Junior!
- Aah!
274
00:11:44,161 --> 00:11:46,413
{\an8}- Kimball?
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
275
00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:49,499
I've been wearing
this vest for 7 years.
276
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:50,959
The bullet went right
through it like butter.
277
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,086
- You're gonna be just fine.
- No...
278
00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:56,006
Uh, so, uh, looking forward
to those, uh, EMTs ASAP, sir.
279
00:11:57,716 --> 00:11:59,592
- I'm real cold.
- Oh!
280
00:11:59,593 --> 00:12:00,176
- Things are getting...
- Alright.
281
00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:02,137
- Okay.
- No, I'm okay.
282
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:04,264
I'm just gonna rock you like
this. Do you like that?
283
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:05,473
Does that make you feel good?
284
00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:06,808
That feels good.
285
00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:08,351
I think you should
just keep talking.
286
00:12:08,352 --> 00:12:09,936
- Yeah?
- I don't know you at all.
287
00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:12,689
You know, you're just
a nice person
288
00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:16,444
and to me it's almost a shame
that you're...
289
00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:18,987
You know.
290
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,947
What?
291
00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:23,324
Seems like you could be
a pretty decent piece of ass
292
00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:24,701
if you weren't a lesbian.
293
00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:26,453
That's all I'm saying,
not that I'm--
294
00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:28,121
'A' thank you.
'A' thank you.
295
00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:29,038
And 'B' I am not a lesbian.
296
00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:32,000
Just because
I have had thoughts
297
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:36,337
perhaps dreams,
does not mean that I have
298
00:12:36,338 --> 00:12:39,632
participated in a sexual manner
with another woman.
299
00:12:39,633 --> 00:12:40,967
Hm, well, I guess
you ain't a race car driver
300
00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:44,053
unless you get
behind the wheel.
301
00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:45,054
That's a good way
to look at it.
302
00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:48,058
You know, I'd love...
303
00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:52,061
If I'm gonna go
into the next world
304
00:12:52,062 --> 00:12:54,856
to at least not think
I'm 100% alone and dying...
305
00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:58,067
You're not alone.
You're not alone, Junior.
306
00:12:58,068 --> 00:12:59,194
You're not alone.
I'm here with you.
307
00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:02,656
Can I have the taste of
a woman on my lips as I go?
308
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,327
- Uh...
- I'm a dying man.
309
00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:09,496
You're not gonna die.
310
00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:12,082
Oh, jeez!
I, you're...
311
00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:21,841
You're gonna be okay.
312
00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:24,052
- I think you're a lesbian.
- I am not a lesbian.
313
00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:26,721
- That's what I think.
- Uh, that was very enjoyable.
314
00:13:35,814 --> 00:13:37,023
We take you now live to
the Reno Sheriff's Department
315
00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:40,568
where a press conference
is already in progress.
316
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:50,578
♪ Oh oh ♪
317
00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:52,580
♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪
318
00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:54,123
♪ Ha ha ha ha ha ha ♪
319
00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:57,085
♪ Give it to DJ Trudy
take it... ♪
320
00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:58,086
What happened?
321
00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:01,130
I threw up a little bit.
322
00:14:01,131 --> 00:14:04,759
'Hey, you're on the air.
Yo, you're on the air.'
323
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,845
Oh. Ahem.
324
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:10,223
- Go.
- Hey. Hi.
325
00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:14,728
♪ Ah-ah-ah ah-ah-ah ah ♪
326
00:14:15,854 --> 00:14:17,397
{\an8}You're my pal.
You're my friend.
327
00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:19,607
{\an8}We got something special.
328
00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:20,483
{\an8}And nobody
329
00:14:20,484 --> 00:14:23,945
{\an8}nobody's gonna come
between that, huh?
330
00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:26,990
Jones and Logan.
331
00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:29,242
I like how that sounds.
332
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:32,036
We're gonna have adventures.
333
00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:34,330
- Hey! Come back here!
- 'Many, many...'
334
00:14:34,331 --> 00:14:36,165
Officer!
Do something!
335
00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:40,461
Ha-ha.
Come on! Logan, away!
336
00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:42,923
Aah! Uh!
337
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,475
{\an8}They tell me that,
at the doctor
338
00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:56,144
{\an8}that I'm not having...
339
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:58,146
{\an8}That it's probably just one
340
00:14:58,147 --> 00:14:59,355
that's it's just one baby
341
00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:02,442
but it feels like a litter.
342
00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:03,985
Yeah.
I wouldn't be surprised.
343
00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:06,821
Ahem.
344
00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:08,406
I wouldn't be surprised
if it was a litter.
345
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:09,991
I wouldn't be surprised
if it was Rosemary's baby.
346
00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:14,662
Would you be surprised
if he looked like you at all?
347
00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:15,663
Yeah, a little bit.
348
00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:17,583
♪ Ah-ah-ah ah-ah-ah ah ♪
349
00:15:22,921 --> 00:15:25,298
{\an8}If I'm gonna die here
on this cold pavement
350
00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:27,133
{\an8}I'd feel a lot better
if you just let me maybe
351
00:15:27,134 --> 00:15:30,970
{\an8}get to third with you.
352
00:15:30,971 --> 00:15:32,221
No, I am not gonna let you
get to third with me.
353
00:15:32,222 --> 00:15:35,350
Alright.
I was just asking.
354
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:37,018
What, I don't even understand
355
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:39,854
I don't even know if
I remember what third is.
356
00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:42,023
- Under the bra.
- That's what I thought.
357
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:43,900
- Yeah.
- No.
358
00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,318
Fine.
359
00:15:45,319 --> 00:15:46,194
Can I have another kiss?
360
00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:50,282
Alright, fine.
361
00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:53,076
You're not supposed to
give me the tongue!
362
00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:56,537
You didn't say anything
about tongue!
363
00:15:56,538 --> 00:15:58,873
Now, that is not fair!
364
00:15:58,874 --> 00:16:00,833
Again, you were taking
advantage of the situation.
365
00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:03,711
Now, that's just shameful.
366
00:16:03,712 --> 00:16:06,673
- She's a lesbian.
- I am not a lesbian!
367
00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:10,218
Now, what do I have to do,
publicly have sex with a man?
368
00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:11,887
Take out "Publicly."
369
00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:15,098
I mean, if you're gonna give me
something to live for
370
00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:18,184
we'll... go to Tahoe...
and we bone.
371
00:16:18,185 --> 00:16:20,228
We'll rent one of them rooms
and then we'll bone
372
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:23,231
in the hot tub
with the porno on.
373
00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:26,442
What do you think,
is that a deal?
374
00:16:26,443 --> 00:16:31,072
Scratch the porno.
Just the hot tub. Candles.
375
00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:34,075
I swear on the good book,
if I pull through
376
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:37,370
I will bone Kimball.
377
00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:40,248
I swear on the good book that
if you pull through
378
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:43,710
I will, I will bone...
379
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:47,755
Travis Junior.
380
00:16:47,756 --> 00:16:48,256
- Alright?
- Yeah.
381
00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:55,263
{\an8}Even though the doctor said,
you're pregnant and I took
382
00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:57,473
{\an8}the test and it said
I'm pregnant
383
00:16:57,474 --> 00:16:59,142
{\an8}and I could feel him kicking
384
00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:01,185
and, um...
385
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:02,270
...all the things that go along
386
00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:04,272
with being pregnant,
even though that
387
00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:07,066
I wasn't 100% positive
388
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:10,738
until... I started
to have some leakage.
389
00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:13,281
From your udders?
390
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:15,450
They're not, um...
Yeah, from... Right.
391
00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:16,534
You're leaking
from your udders?
392
00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:19,579
That makes it sound gross,
but yeah, I'm having some
393
00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:21,122
colostrum leak
from my nipples.
394
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:23,750
That's the proper
way to say it.
395
00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:26,295
Are you okay?
396
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:32,967
Are you okay, Jim?
397
00:17:32,968 --> 00:17:35,470
Don't say, "Colostrum leaked
from my nipples" anymore.
398
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:38,473
But they're a lot less crusty
than I anticipated.
399
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:39,265
They told me that
there would be a...
400
00:17:47,274 --> 00:17:51,027
You've been hearing
a lot lately
401
00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:54,197
about people who, quote
402
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:56,199
"Weren't doing anything"
403
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,076
and got shot
by law enforcement.
404
00:17:59,077 --> 00:18:02,747
Sure, people get shot by law
enforcement officers on occasion
405
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:05,291
but not, quote,
"Innocent people."
406
00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:09,003
You hear, "Oh, Daryl.
He wasn't doing anything.
407
00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:11,672
He was just hanging around
the grocery store on PCP
408
00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:13,966
and those crazy cops shot him."
409
00:18:13,967 --> 00:18:18,304
Going to the grocery store
on PCP is exactly the kind of
410
00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:21,182
evening that ends with getting
shot by law enforcement.
411
00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:24,060
If you and your friends
want to not get shot
412
00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:26,354
by law enforcement,
here's something
413
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:30,149
try really not doing anything.
414
00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:34,070
There's a million ways
to truly be not doing nothing.
415
00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:36,364
And every single one of them
can make your day lead-free.
416
00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:38,241
- Lead-free.
- Lead-free.
417
00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:40,661
Lead-free.
418
00:18:47,125 --> 00:18:47,834
Listen, James, I just...
419
00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:51,087
I wanted to, uh... say
I'm sorry.
420
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:52,505
I, I really kind of
abandoned you
421
00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:55,383
in your time of need and
I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
422
00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:57,218
Well, for a while there,
you were acting like the
423
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:59,220
end of the horse
that threw you.
424
00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:01,055
Yeah.
You know, I own that.
425
00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:04,058
I understand that,
and I, I've been acting like
426
00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:08,856
like the mayor of Jerk town,
and I, I wanted to make amends.
427
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,900
Yeah, whatever.
High-five.
428
00:19:13,318 --> 00:19:14,486
♪ Ah-ah-ah ah-ah-ah ah ♪
429
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:23,619
Where are you from
anyway, Kimball?
430
00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:25,580
Couldn't place your accent
when you came in.
431
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:28,666
Well, uh... all around
432
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:31,544
but my family
is from Shreveport.
433
00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:33,045
- Louisiana?
- Mm-hm.
434
00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:35,464
Yeah, I got family in
Lake Charles, my momma's side.
435
00:19:35,465 --> 00:19:36,424
- You do?
- Yeah.
436
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:40,428
Yeah, they do the, uh,
that pirate festival
437
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:41,888
that they do every year
in Lake Charles.
438
00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:43,097
Oh, I love
the pirate festival!
439
00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:45,975
Captain Morgan comes up and
gives out free Captain Morgan.
440
00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:47,226
That's funny,
'cause you remind me
441
00:19:47,227 --> 00:19:49,979
a little bit of my uncle
on my mother's side.
442
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:51,230
Oh, that's nice.
443
00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:53,608
And he does a big to-do
with the pirate festival.
444
00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:55,443
Every year he gets
all dressed up.
445
00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:57,778
Uncle Jimmy Joe.
446
00:19:57,779 --> 00:20:00,448
Jimmy Joe,
Black Beard they call him?
447
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:02,325
- Mm-hm.
- Like at the festival--
448
00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:03,327
Yeah, yeah.
Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
449
00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:06,996
Oh, [bleep].
450
00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:08,749
That's my uncle too.
451
00:20:09,499 --> 00:20:11,418
- That's your uncle?
- Yeah.
452
00:20:14,671 --> 00:20:16,422
First tail I ever got
in the department
453
00:20:16,423 --> 00:20:18,257
is gonna be
a [bleep] cousin.
454
00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:19,425
We, we, we tongue kissed.
455
00:20:19,426 --> 00:20:22,136
Yeah, but you swore
on the good book
456
00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:23,679
that you were gonna
give me a little.
457
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,556
But I, I mean,
I, I didn't know--
458
00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:28,267
'You should be seeing those EMTs
pulling up right about now.'
459
00:20:28,268 --> 00:20:29,477
'They should really
be there pretty soon.'
460
00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:31,270
They're on the scene, sir.
461
00:20:31,271 --> 00:20:32,980
EMTs on the scene.
I see them, sir.
462
00:20:32,981 --> 00:20:33,522
Hey, how you doing, boys?
463
00:20:33,523 --> 00:20:36,651
Took you long enough.
464
00:20:38,028 --> 00:20:39,904
Hey, easy there,
I don't think you can...
465
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:40,488
'I don't think you should...'
466
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:42,448
No, I'm good, I'm okay.
467
00:20:42,449 --> 00:20:45,827
It stings a lot,
but I think I'm okay.
468
00:20:47,287 --> 00:20:49,122
You aren't dying at all!
469
00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:56,003
- I thought you were dying!
- Well, I mean, I ain't great.
470
00:20:56,004 --> 00:20:57,630
You should probably come
with me to the hospital
471
00:20:57,631 --> 00:21:00,174
'cause we probably got
the same blood type.
472
00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:02,009
'Come on, cuz.
Haul ass! Haul ass!'
473
00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:03,804
'Don't call, I don't like you
calling me cousin!'
474
00:21:09,476 --> 00:21:12,645
{\an8}I'm bringing apples.
475
00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:13,480
{\an8}You ever play this game?
476
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:17,358
{\an8}Then you say,
and on this picnic
477
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:20,820
{\an8}I'm gonna bring bananas.
478
00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:22,822
{\an8}Then I choose a "C".
"A", "B", "C".
479
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:23,864
{\an8}You just pick something
480
00:21:23,865 --> 00:21:25,741
{\an8}If you'd memorize
the list of fruit?
481
00:21:25,742 --> 00:21:26,951
{\an8}- You just go through it?
- No, no, no.
482
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:29,370
{\an8}You just pick something you're
gonna bring on the picnic.
483
00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:34,000
{\an8}Apple, bananas,
uh... and you're gonna bring...
484
00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:35,751
{\an8}Coffee machine.
485
00:21:35,752 --> 00:21:37,129
{\an8}Okay. Alright.
35735
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