Original subtitles

YOU'RE NOT GONNA DIE.

I DON'T WANNA DIE ON AN ALTERNATE ROUTE.

WE'RE OFFERING YOU...

ANYTHING.

ANYTHING.

YOU'RE LOOKING AT 2 DESPERATE, DESPERATE PEOPLE.

JUST NEED A PHONE CALL.

NEED A PHONE CALL MADE.

THAT'S ALL WE NEED. THAT'S ALL WE NEED.

SERIOUSLY.

OFFICER MOORE.

OK.

COME ON! IT WAS A TRICK!

WHOA!

GET BACK IN THE BUILDING!

NO LOITERING!

OFFICER MOORE.

OK.

YES.

NO, YOU GOTTA DIAL 9 TO GET OUT.

NOT A PROBLEM. 'BYE.

THEY GOT THE WRONG NUMBER.

WELL, THAT'S IT FROM MY END.

BEFORE I GO, I'D LIKE TO MAKE ONE LAST STATEMENT.

SEACREST OUT.

OH, MY GOD.

OH! AH! OH! OH! OOH!

OOH! AH! HI, GUYS.

GENTLEMEN.

HOW'S IT GOING?

CHILLY?

YEAH-- BEEN A BRISK NIGHT.

I BET.

YOU KNOW...

WHY WOULD YOU TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF?

I THOUGHT I REMEMBERED SOMETHING FROM SCOUTING...

BODY HEAT...

YEAH, YOU KNOW.

I'LL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT.

GOOD MORNING, DEPUTIES.

GOOD MORNING, LIEUTENANT.

WHO DID THE NEW "WHAT TO DO IF YOUR CHILD IS MISSING"

BROCHURE?

THAT IS TOP-NOTCH WORK. MY GOD, LOOK AT THAT. ALL GOOD NEWS.

AND WE'RE AUTOMATING OUR SUICIDE HOT LINE, BY THE WAY. WE'RE

GOING TO AN AUTOMATED SYSTEM.

SAVING WEAR AND TEAR.

WORKING THAT LINE WAS A REAL BUMMER. SO DEPRESSING.

AUTOMATED SYSTEM NOW.

NICE.

OH, AND OTHER NEWS, TRUDY'S COMING BACK TODAY FROM

HER PERSONAL LEAVE. THAT'S 6 MONTHS OF PERSONAL LEAVE SHE

TOOK. SHE'S COMING BACK TODAY.

THAT'S OVER ALREADY?

YEAH. GOD, THAT FLEW, DIDN'T IT?

BOY.

ANYWAY, GOOD WORK, EVERYONE.

IT'S GONNA BE A RED LETTER WEEK, I THINK, HERE.

TA DA!

OKEY-DOKE.

HEY, EVERYBODY!

MORNING.

ANYTHING ELSE WE SHOULD, UH, WE GOT FOR TODAY?

LET'S SEE, WHAT ELSE ARE WE DOING? WE'VE

GOT THAT BIG BUS COMING...

♪ BUH, BUH-BUH-BUH, BUH ♪ I'M BACK!

OH, THE FAMILY CRIMES BUREAU IS LOOKING FOR SOME VOLUNTEERS.

I'M SORRY. EXCUSE ME ONE SECOND, JIM. THIS IS THE CHAIR I

USUALLY SIT IN AND, UM, I, UH...

ESPECIALLY NOW WOULD BE A GREAT TIME--

WHY DON'T YOU SIT OVER THERE?

THERE'S AN EMPTY CHAIR RIGHT THERE.

NO, NO, NO. MY ANKLE'S A LITTLE SWOLLEN, SO I HAVE TO

KEEP IT PROPPED UP.

IF YOU WANNA SIT, SIT DOWN OR SOMETHING.

SPEAKING OF SWOLLEN...

THAT IS...IT. LET'S BE CAREFUL OUT THERE.

ALL RIGHT.

WHOO! COMIN' OUT. HA HA.

WATCH IT.

HEY, I'M GETTING A DAY-TIME EMMY POLL SIGN-UP SHEETS UP.

YAY!

FINALLY, SOMETHING NEW TO TALK ABOUT AROUND HERE.

WIEGEL'S PUT ON A FEW POUNDS.

BEEN DRINKIN', I GUESS.

OO-EEE!

WIEGEL'S BIG SECRET--BIG SURPRISE--SHE'S GOT SOMETHING IN

THE OVEN. I DON'T WANNA SAY IT'S A BUN.

MIGHT BE ONE OF THOSE GARGOYLES THAT LOOKS DOWN ON YOU FROM THE

BUILDINGS.

SOME KIND OF A DEAL.

SOMETHING WITH HOOVES.

YEAH, FILE THAT UNDER "I DO

NOT WANT TO KNOW."

LET ME JUST GIVE YOU A LITTLE ADVICE. I'M GONNA WALK YOU

THROUGH THE 101 OF HOW TO GET IT DONE BEIN' SOMEBODY'S MAMA.

I COULD USE THAT.

OK, FOLLOW ME.

OK.

HEY, CUT THAT RACKET OUT IN THERE!

GOOD. THAT WAS GOOD. THAT WAS GOOD. THAT WAS GOOD. NOW, THIS

IS--THIS IS...THIS IS ONE THAT I USE OFTEN, OK? IF THE KIDS ARE

CUTTIN' UP, RUNNIN' AROUND, BEIN' BAD, YOU CALL 'EM IN THERE

WITH A VERY STRONG VOICE AND YOU SAY, "DON'T YOU MAKE ME--I WILL

KNOCK ALL THE BLACK OFF-A YOU!" OK, HOW 'BOUT, UH...

HOW 'BOUT...

I'LL KNOCK YOUR ASS INTO TOMORROW. YOU WON'T EVEN KNOW

WHAT GONNA HIT YA.

THIS WOMAN HAS 2 ASSES. DAMN!

YEAH.

BLASIAN, YOU CALL THAT?

FELLAS, FELLAS, FELLAS!

THE WHOLE MAGAZINE, JUST BLASIANS...

FELLAS!

YES, SIR?

WHAT'S UP? CALM DOWN.

CALM DOWN. CALM DOWN.

THIS JUST CAME IN ON THE FAX MACHINE. BAZ LURMAN PRODUCTIONS

IS LOOKING FOR AN OFFICER KRUPKE FOR HIS REMAKE OF WEST SIDE

STORY, AND THEY WANT A REAL LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER. PLEASE SEND

IN VIDEOTAPES TO BAZ LURMAN PRODUCTIONS.

BAZ LURMAN, IS THAT SOME LOCAL, LIKE, DINNER THEATER GUY,

OR-- I THOUGHT I DON'T HAVE TO

EXPLAIN WHO BAZ LURMAN IS! WE HAVE TO GET A TAPE OUT TONIGHT!

THEY WANT STRONG MOVEMENT AND DANCE FOR OFFICER KRUPKE--

YOU WANT US TO...

YES. COME ON, THERE'S NO TIME TO EXPLAIN. I'LL EXPLAIN ON THE

WAY! YEAH! THAT'S WHAT I'M

TALKIN' ABOUT.

MOVE IT. YEAH.

LOOK AT THAT, LOOK AT THAT.

PANACHE.

LOTTA FLAVOR.

UH-OH! UH-OH!

LOOK OUT!

OH, IT'S REAL GOOD.

THAT'S KIND OF A NANCY KERRIGAN MOVE THERE.

NICE, NICE, NICE, NICE, NICE.

AND THEN SLAP-- WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS,

THE INDIANAPOLIS 500? KNOCK IT OFF!

THAT WAS SORT OF MY NEW YORKY THING.

VERY--IT'S VERY NEW YORKY. VERY NEW YORKY.

WAS IT TOO NEW YORKY? WAS IT JEWY NEW YORKY OR--

I THINK THEY'RE PROBABLY LOOKING FOR VERY JEWY NEW YORK.

JEWY NEW YORK. YEAH, THAT'S WHERE IT TAKES PLACE, RIGHT?

YEAH.

OOOYYYYEEE.

TOO MUCH.

YEAH.

LITTLE LESS, BUT...

OOOOYYY.

YEAH!

YEAH. REAL GOOD. REAL GOOD.

I THINK, UH...

ANYTHING ELSE--JUST GENERAL?

YOU LOOK LIKE YOU WANT THE PART. YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE YOU

NEED THE PART. YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE?

NO.

THE DIFFERENCE IS THAT ARE YOU HUNGRY OR NOT? ARE YOU

HUNGRY FOR THE PART?

FOR--OH, FOR THE PART.

NO, FOR THE PART.

SO LOOK LIKE I NEED IT AND BE HUNGRY.

YEAH.

OK.

JAZZ HANDS AND EYE OF THE TIGER.

JAZZ HANDS. EYE OF THE TIGER.

LOOK LIKE I'M HUNGRY.

YOU KNOW HOW TO DO A GRAPEVINE? YOU KNOW TO DO A

GRAPEVINE? YEAH!

YEAH! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN'

ABOUT. YEAH.

YOU KNOW, I BET IF WE'D SAID SOMETHING, HE WOULD HAVE DONE

THIS IN THE NUDE.

MAYBE WE SHOULD DO THAT NEXT.

WE SHOULD SEND ANOTHER FAX.

HEY!

OH, HELL'S BELLS.

NO, KEEP GOING. KEEP GOING.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! HEY, MAN.

HEY, BIG MIKE.

HELL, MAN. I THINK BRENDA'S DEAD, MAN.

WHAT?

I THINK BRENDA'S DEAD, MAN.

NO, NO, NO. SIT DOWN. SIT

DOWN. SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN. TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED.

WHAT HAPPENED?

WE WERE HANGING OUT-- SIT DOWN. I WANT YOU TO SIT

DOWN.

NOW SHE'S NOT--NOW SHE'S NOT ALIVE.

WHAT HAPP--WHAT'S GOIN' ON?

SHE'S ASLEEP, BIG MIKE.

SHE'S SLEEPING.

OH...GOD!

SHE LOOKS SO DEAD, THOUGH.

DID YOU LOOK AT HER?

'CAUSE I POKED HER 4, MAYBE 5 TIMES...NOTHIN'.

NOTHIN', HUH?

NO.

WELL, I OPENED THE DOOR, AND SHE WOKE UP.

REALLY?

YEAH.

YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE LOOKING AT HERE, PERHAPS? MIRACLE.

LAST NIGHT. I CAN'T REMEMBER A THING. WAIT! HOW DID I GET HOME?

AND WHY DO MY PARTS HURT?

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.

THE REASON YOU CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU LAST NIGHT

IS BECAUSE SOMEBODY GAVE YOU ROOFIES.

ARE YOU SAYING I GOT RAPED LAST NIGHT?

YES. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M SAYING. YOU GOT RAPED.

RAPE ME ONCE, SHAME ON YOU.

RAPE ME TWICE...

SHAME ON ME!

NEXT TIME, TRY WEARING GENUINE POLICE TEK 2000 RAPE

SHIELD UNDERGARMENTS. CANNOT BE OPENED WITHOUT THEIR CODED

INFRARED CONTROLLER.

WOW, THOSE LOOK WELL-MADE.

TRUST ME...ONCE YOU'VE BEEN NOT RAPED TWICE, POLICE TEK RAPE

SHIELD UNDERGARMENTS HAVE PAID FOR THEMSELVES.

SO REMEMBER...YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A SUPER MODEL TO GET RAPED.

POLICE TEK 2000 RAPE SHIELD UNDERGARMENTS SOUND JUST...SOUND

LIKE JUST THE TICKET.

THE TICKET TO RAPE SAFETY.

IS TRUDY GONNA HAVE A BOY

OR A GIRL?

I-IS THERE ANOTHER BOX I CAN CHECK? TRUDY'S NOT HAVING A

BABY. SHE'S FAKING.

YOU THINK SHE'S TOTALLY FAKING?

I DON'T THINK, I KNOW SHE'S FAKING. I KNOW FOR

A FACT SHE'S FAKING.

WELL, MAYBE WE SHOULD...

WHAT DO YOU THINK IS IN THERE?

A PILLOW! WHAT DO YOU THINK IS IN THERE?

WELL, LET'S...

PUNCH HER IN THE STOMACH REAL HARD. I'M RELUCTANT TO DO THAT

ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT SHE'S NOT FAKING...AND THAT WOULD CAUSE A

HORRIBLE MISCARRIAGE.

THAT COULD BE A--A LAWSUIT.

OH, BELIEVE ME, IF I DIDN'T THINK SHE'D HAVE A MISCARRIAGE,

I WOULD PUNCH THAT BITCH IN THE STOMACH SO HARD, YOU

WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT.

SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT!

SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT!

YOU CAN'T STOP ME!

CAREFUL, CAREFUL!

LOOK OUT! CAREFUL-- HEY, WATCH OUT! WATCH OUT!

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

SOME NUT BALL-- NO, IT'S CARROT TOP, THE

COMEDIAN.

Carrot Top: STUPID SONS OF BITCHES!

OH, OH, OH!

AAH!

I'M GETTIN' A RIOT SHIELD!

GO, GO, GO, GO!

I HAVE NO IDEA...

ALL RIGHT, SIR, IS HE ON ANY KIND OF DRUGS OR ALCOHOL

OR ANYTHING OF THAT KIND?

NO, HE JUST SAID HE WAS JACKED UP ON RED BULL. OK, CAN

YOU GET ME TOP? GET ME CARROT TOP.

OH! OH! OH! OH! OH!

HEY!

THAT WAS TOO CLOSE!

CARROT TOP-- WHOA!

UNNECESSARY. UNNECESSARY.

THAT IS EXPENSIVE HOTEL

PROPERTY.

PLEASE BACK AWAY.

...TO THE PRESIDENTIAL SUITE.

IT SHOULD BE UNDER CARROT TOP.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

THIS IS JIM MANIKAN. I'M THE MANAGER OF THE HOTEL. I WOULD

LIKE TO OFFER YOU A FREE BREAKFAST BUFFET IF YOU COME

DOWN NOW PEACEFULLY AND STOP THROWING THINGS, CARROT--

CAN YOU GET HIM A HOOKER?

HE HUNG UP. HE HUNG UP.

IS THERE ANYTHING LEFT IN THERE THAT'S DANGEROUS?

NO, THAT'S PRETTY MUCH...

THE LAST OF IT.

NO! NO!

HOLY !

Man, quietly: GO, GO, GO!

HOW YOU DOIN' TODAY, SIR?

I'M, UH...SIR, I DIDN'T SEE YOU BACK THERE. I WOULD HAVE

STOPPED, BUT I COULDN'T SEE OR HEAR YOU AT ALL.

LICENSE AND REGISTRATION?

YEAH, LET ME, UH...OH, THERE IT IS. HERE YA GO.

REGISTRATION.

SIR, THIS IS NOT YOUR VEHICLE?

NO, SIR!

I RAN YOUR PLATES, AND THE OWNER OF THIS VEHICLE, MR.

REGGIE FREDBURG, HE'S WANTED IN THE STATE OF NEVADA FOR RECKLESS

DRIVING, RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT.

REALLY, HE IS?

HIT AND RUN, FELONY EVASION, LEAVING THE SCENE OF AN

ACCIDENT, AND TRYING TO DRIVE A MOTORCYCLE INTO A WATER PARK.

HE, UH-- IS THAT REGGIE THERE?

UH, YEAH, THAT'S HIM.

HEY!

OH, OH, OH, OH!

GREAT.

THANK YOU. PROVISIONS.

I CAN'T DRINK WHILE I'M WORKING...

I THINK IT'S OK.

IT'S SO WRONG TO ME THAT...

HE GETS ALL OF THIS WONDERFUL FOOD AND--

THAT'S WHAT MAKES HIM FUNNY, THOUGH--

AND THEN HE JUST THROWS IT OUT THE WINDOW AND DOESN'T EVEN

APPRECIATE IT, WHEN THERE'S PEOPLE LIKE US DOWN HERE WHO

DON'T EVER GET GIFT BASKETS.

YEAH, THAT'S TRUE. I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT THAT WAY.

THAT'S SO DEPRESSING TO THINK ABOUT.

IF HE HAD A SPIRITUAL CENTER...FROM WHENCE HIS COMEDY

COMES...NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING.

HE'S GOT A GOD-SIZED HOLE.

AND HE'S TRYIN' TO FILL IT UP WITH CHEESE AND WHISKEY AND--

I GOT A CHEESE AND WHISKEY- SIZED HOLE IN MY HEART

SOMETIMES LIKE NOW.

THE TRUTH IS, I HAVE A SECRET, AND THE SECRET IS THAT

I HAVE A CYST IN MY ABDOMEN THAT'S THE SIZE OF A BOWLING

BALL...AND THERE'S A VERY GOOD CHANCE THAT I WILL ONLY LIVE FOR

3 MORE DAYS.

JUST KIDDING! I'M JUST KIDDING.

I'M PREGNANT! HA HA HA!

HA HA. THAT WAS A FUNNY JOKE.

IT'S WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, THOUGH.

WELL, TECHNICALLY, THAT'S WHAT IT IS. IT'S A GROWTH

WITH FEET AND HAIR...ONLY, UH...

EVENTUALLY IT'LL RESENT YOU.

THAT'S TRUE. THAT'S SWEET.

YEP.

WHOA...

EVERYTHING'S COOL.

EVERYTHING'S GOOD.

SORRY, GUYS.

THE TOP IS COOL.

HE'S REAL SORRY.

YEAH, WALK ON LIKE LITTLE BIRD PEOPLE. IT'S ALL GOOD.

I JUST HAD A BAD SHOW LAST NIGHT. I DIDN'T MEAN TO TAKE IT

OUT ON THE HOTEL PROPERTY.

IT'S ALL RIGHT, MAN. NO, IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE.

I LOST MY LUGGAGE...

THAT'S VERY FRUSTRATING.

I HATE THAT.

I DON'T THINK THE CROWD REALLY APPRECIATED--I'M SORRY,

DANNY. THAT WAS SO UNINTENTIONAL, I--

HE'S CALMED DOWN NOW?

EVERYTHING'S JUST FINE.

I'M REALLY SORRY. I KNOW IT'S HARD TO APOLOGIZE NOW FOR ALL

THAT I'VE DONE, BUT...

IT'S VERY, YOU KNOW...

IT'S ONE THING IF YOU PHYSICALLY HARM ME, BUT WHEN YOU DO IT TO

MY FOREIGN EMPLOYEES, IT'S A WHOLE DIFFERENT THING. IT'S JUST

UNACCEPTABLE, VERY DISCONCERTING.

I'M REALLY KINDA EMBARRASSED ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING, TOO.

I'M SORRY. I DO HAVE A CHECK IN MY ROBE. IF IT'S POSSIBLE, I CAN

MAYBE COVER THE DAMAGES.

I'M SURE WE CAN WORK OUT SOME SORT OF--

OH, THAT'D BE GREAT.

CAN I KEEP THE ROBE?

WELL, YOU CAN ADD THAT ON.

IT'S A GOOD ROBE.

THAT'S LIKE $100.

15...

PLUS TAX. THAT'S FINE.

WILL $15,000 COVER IT?

WHOO! THAT'S A LOTTA ZEROS, MAN.

I'M SORRY. I'M REALLY SORRY.

HOW MUCH YOU BENCH, MAN?

I'M--

YOU THINK YOU CAN STOP ME?

I WAS ACTING, YOU DUMB !

DOWN! STAY DOWN!

EVERYBODY OK?

IT'S A RUBBER CHECK.

HE'S STEALING THE CAR!

BACK OFF!

GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! HE'S HEADED TOWARDS CALIFORNIA.

CRAP. HOLD ON!

WELL, WE GOT A PERP INSIDE THERE THAT, UH, FOR A WHILE'S

BEEN GIVING US THE OLD SILENT MARCEL MARCEAU TREATMENT.

WE'RE GONNA DO A LITTLE GAME WE LIKE TO CALL GOOD COP, BLACK

COP. I'M GONNA GO IN THERE FIRST, KINDA SOFTEN HIM UP,

KIND OF WORK HIM-- GOOD COP, BLACK COP?

YEAH. GOOD COP, BLACK COP.

I GO IN FIRST, YOU GO IN SECOND.

YOU KNOW THE DEAL. I SOFTEN HIM UP, YOU FINISH THE DEAL.

THAT'S NOT--THAT'S NOT THE DEAL. IT'S GOOD COP, BAD COP.

WELL, WHATEVER. I DON'T WANNA ARGUE OVER SEMANTICS, OK? GOOD

COP, BLACK COP, BAD COP, BLACK COP--SAME THING, OK?

NO. NO, NOT THE SAME THING.

IT'S GOOD COP, BAD COP, AND BECAUSE I'M BLACK DOESN'T MEAN

I'M BAD.

YOU'RE GETTIN' ALL SELF-RIGHTEOUS ON ME--

IT'S NOT GOOD COP, BLACK COP!

IT'S GOOD COP, BAD COP! GOOD COP, BAD COP! GOOD COP, BAD COP!

I GOT IT! YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY--I'M NOT A PUPPET, OK?!

NO, YOU DON'T GET IT, BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN ON THE FORCE FOR I

DON'T KNOW HOW MANY YEARS, AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT GOOD COP,

BAD COP MEANS?

DON'T TELL ME I DON'T GET IT!

YOU DON'T GET IT!

I DO GET IT!

HOW 'BOUT GOOD COP, RIDICULOUSLY SHORT COP?

OH, MAKE FUN OF MY SIZE. HOW 'BOUT GOOD COP, I'LL

ANYTHING THAT MOVES COP?

OH! HOW 'BOUT GOOD COP AND YOU CAN'T GET NOTHIN' COP?

OH, YEAH?! I'LL MESS YOU UP!

AH! LET LOOSE!

NO. NO. NO. THIS IS IT!

THIS IS IT. THIS IS IT.

YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!

WANT ME TO LET GO?

SAY IT. SAY GOOD COP, BAD COP.

GOOD COP-- SAY IT. SAY IT.

GOOD COP, BAD COP.

SO YOU DON'T KNOW A LOT ABOUT ME. YOU HAVEN'T KNOWN ME FOR

VERY LONG, BUT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO HAVE A CHILD.

MMM.

AND SO I FEEL KIND OF LIKE, YOU KNOW...

I DON'T KNOW IF BLESSED IS THE WORD, BUT LUCKY,

FOR SURE.

WELL, I'LL BE HONEST. I DIDN'T...

DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY, BUT I DIDN'T THINK THERE WAS TOO

MANY CHANCES FOR YOU TO...TO GET IN THE CONDITION THAT YOU ARE,

SO I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT. I THINK YOU ARE LUCKY.

WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE RUDE ABOUT IT.

REMEMBER THAT SHOW YEARS AND YEARS AGO, V? IT WAS A SHOW

YEARS AND YEARS AGO.

OH, YEAH, ABOUT THEM LIZARD PEOPLE?

THEM LIZARD PEOPLE, MAN.

WHAT IF...WHAT IF WIEGEL HAD A "V" BABY?

MORNING, GANG.

MORNING.

TRUDY, WHAT WAS IT YOU WANNA SAY?

YEAH, I HAD AN ANNOUNCEMENT.

UM...

YOU'RE PREGNANT.

NO, THAT-- YOU'RE PREGGERS.

OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! WOW!

NO, THAT'S NOT MY ANNOUNCEMENT BUT, YOU KNOW,

THANK YOU FOR NOTICING. UM...

CRAIG IS NOT THE FATHER...IF THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE ARE THINKING.

TURNS OUT HE WAS SHOOTING BLANKS.

SHUT UP, GIRL! OOH! WHO YOUR BABY DADDY?

IF IT'S NOT--WHERE DID YOU GET--

I WENT TO THE, UM, SPERM BANK ON FOURTH STREET.

DID YOU, NOW?

GREAT FACILITY. VERY CLEAN. THEY HAVE DIXIE CUPS THAT

THE GENTLEMEN USE, I GUESS.

I HEARD THERE WAS A LONG WAITING LIST.

IT'S--IT'S NOT A DIXIE CUP.

NO, NO. YOU CAN JUST WALK RIGHT IN. BUT ANYWAY, I WAS

IN THERE. IT'S VERY CLEAN. I GOT A GREAT DEAL.

OOH! WELL, WELCOME TO THE SISTERHOOD. I DON'T KNOW

SOME OF MY BABY'S DADDIES EITHER. HA! GO AHEAD ON, TRUDY!

IT'S A GREAT PROGRAM THEY HAVE THERE, 'CAUSE, GUYS,

YOU DON'T MAKE THAT MUCH MONEY IF YOU WORK FOR THE CITY OR

WHATEVER IT IS. YOU CAN JUST GO IN AND THEY PAY YOU--I DON'T

KNOW WHAT IT IS. 10 BUCKS, 20 BUCKS.

$31.

$31 TO SQUIRT OFF IN-- THAT'S WHAT I'VE HEARD.

PLUS ORANGE JUICE AND A COOKIE.

IN YOUR HOUSE.

OH, GOOD. HERE GOES THE COPS CONDESCENDING TO BIG MIKE.

WELL, NO, IT'S JUST THAT-- IT'S MY MOAT.

IT'S YOUR MOAT?

WHAT DO YOU--WHAT DO YOU HAVE A MOAT FOR?

FOR--WHY DOES ANYBODY HAVE A MOAT? TO KEEP OUT THE

FRENCHMEN WHO TRY TO COME OVER.

THIS IS GOING ALL THE WAY AROUND THE HOUSE.

UH-HUH.

SO ANYBODY TRIES TO CROSS THAT, THEY CROSS THROUGH THE

MOAT. YOU KNOW WHAT'S LIVING IN THE MOAT? BADGERS.