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THAT'S RIGHT, SNIFF
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THE DRUG HOUND. IF YOU USE A
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WATER PISTOL THAT LOOKS LIKE A
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REAL PISTOL, YOU'RE THE ONE
5
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THAT'S GONNA BE...ALL WET.
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SAFETY AND COMMON SENSE. COMMON
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SENSE. COMMON SENSE. NOW, IF I
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COULD HAVE QUESTIONS--
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ARE YOU OK?
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{\an8}WHOO!
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{\an8}COME HERE! WHOA!
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{\an8}GO, GO, GO!
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{\an8}AAH!
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{\an8}HEY, WHERE--
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{\an8}OH, SORRY, SORRY!
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{\an8}TURNS OUT IT WAS JUST A
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{\an8}DILDO, BUT IT LOOKED LIKE A GUN.
18
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{\an8}OH, YEAH.
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{\an8}AT THE LAB THEY SAID,
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{\an8}"DILDO." OK! HEY, EXCELLENT
21
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NEWS, GANG. UH, THE TELEVISION
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PROGRAM CSI IS COMING TO FILM
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HERE IN TOWN.
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WOW.
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ISN'T THAT AMAZING?
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ARE THEY GONNA USE ANY
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OF US IN IT?
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NO, BUT THEY NEED
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SECURITY. WHAT YOU GET IS TIME
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AND A HALF.
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WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO
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DO?
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SECURITY! ON THE SET.
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SIMPLE.
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LIKE, WHAT DO WE HAVE
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TO ACTUALLY DO, THOUGH?
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HOW MANY TIMES CAN I SAY
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SECURITY ON THE SET? DID I SAY
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IT TWICE OR 3 TIMES? NOW
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IT'LL BE 3.
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WHAT ARE WE SECURING?
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WHAT ARE WE SECURING?
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SECURITY ON THE SET!
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DID SHE SCREAM AT ME?
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THIS IS WHY WE DON'T
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ALLOW YOU TO HAVE 7 DOUGHNUTS
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USUALLY.
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I'M ALL HYPED UP ON
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SUGAR A LITTLE BIT.
50
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YOU'RE FREAKING OUT.
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I'M SORRY I YELLED.
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{\an8}UH, WE'RE JUST COMING
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{\an8}AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD. WANTED
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{\an8}TO LET YOU KNOW THAT THE POPULAR
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{\an8}TELEVISION CRIME DRAMA CSI IS
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GONNA BE FILMING RIGHT HERE IN
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THE NEIGHBORHOOD. THERE IS GOING
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TO BE SOME GUNFIRE. OK? SO DON'T
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FREAK OUT. DON'T GO CALLING THE
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COPS. THERE'LL BE SOME GUNFIRE.
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PLEASE DON'T CALL US.
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RIGHT.
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'CAUSE WE ALREADY KNOW
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ABOUT IT.
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RIGHT. LOUD NOISES,
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{\an8}THINGS LIKE THAT.
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{\an8}HANG ONTO THAT.
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{\an8}OK.
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{\an8}HANG ONTO THAT. YEP.
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{\an8}THANK YOU.
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IT'S NOT ME. THERE'S
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MORE OF THEM AROUND LATELY,
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RIGHT?
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THERE'S MORE OF 'EM
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AROUND, AND I DON'T LIKE THEM
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COMING HERE.
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IS IT ME?
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NO, IT ISN'T.
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THERE'S MORE OF 'EM AROUND.
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SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT!
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HELLO? WHAT'S GOING ON?
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YOU'RE NOT IN TROUBLE.
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YOU'RE NOT IN TROUBLE.
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I SHOULD HOPE NOT.
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TELL US WHERE THE STUFF
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IS! HA HA HA!
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REALLY, I DON'T KNOW.
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WE'RE JOKING, OF COURSE.
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OK. THAT'S A SCARY JOKE.
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CSI IS COMING TO FILM
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RIGHT HERE IN RENO.
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REALLY?
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ON THIS BLOCK.
94
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YEAH.
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AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT.
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YOU'RE KIDDING ME!
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SO THERE'S GONNA BE SOME
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MOVIE LIGHTS. THERE'S GONNA BE--
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I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS ABOUT
100
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CSI. I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE. LET
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ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.
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SURE.
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THESE CSI GUYS, THEY'RE
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SCIENTISTS, RIGHT? THEY'RE
105
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SCIENTISTS BASICALLY?
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{\an8}UH, OF SORTS.
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{\an8}SO WHY ARE THEY RUNNING
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{\an8}AROUND WITH GUNS AND SOLVING
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{\an8}CRIMES?
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{\an8}THANK YOU. THAT'S THE
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{\an8}PROBLEM I HAVE WITH THE SHOW.
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{\an8}OK. WELL, WHY? DO YOU KNOW
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{\an8}WHY?
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{\an8}THAT'S WHY I CAN'T
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{\an8}WATCH IT.
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{\an8}NO. IF YOU WANT TO START
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{\an8}A LIST OF TELEVISION SHOWS ABOUT
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{\an8}LAW ENFORCEMENT THAT ARE
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{\an8}INACCURATE...
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{\an8}YEAH.
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WHERE DO WE START?
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I WOULD SAY--
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BECAUSE WE'RE GOING CRAZY
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IN HERE TRYING TO FIND THAT OUT.
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I'LL BET YOU, IN YOUR LINE
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OF WORK AS REAL POLICE, YOU
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DON'T COME ACROSS NEARLY THE
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NUMBER OF PUBIC HAIRS THAT THEY
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DO ON THAT SHOW.
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Dangle and Johnson: UH...
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OR DO YOU?
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I WOULDN'T GO THAT FAR,
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BUT, YOU KNOW, WE JUST DON'T
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TALK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME.
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THANK YOU, YES.
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THE CONSTANT PUBE TALK,
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LIKE, "OH, CAN I HAVE THE PUBES
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FROM THAT SAMPLE? CAN I HAVE THE
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PUBES FROM THAT?"
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WELL, I'M GLAD I DIDN'T
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SHAKE EITHER OF YOUR HANDS.
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HA HA HA!
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OH, I'M GONNA
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SHAKE--OHH, PUBE HAIRS!
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SERIOUSLY.
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{\an8}HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
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{\an8}WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
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{\an8}A STRAY PIECE OF TRASH
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{\an8}FROM GOD'S GARBAGE CAN. MA'AM?
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{\an8}HOLD UP. OH, YOU LOST YOUR SHOE
THERE!
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YOU'RE BLOCKING THIS
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ROADWAY AND YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
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I'M ALL RIGHT. I DON'T
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NEED NO HELP FROM YOU! I GO
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SHOPPIN'. HERE I GO.
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NO, YOU'RE NOT GOIN'
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SHOPPIN'. YOU CAN'T--
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YES, I AM. THIS IS MY
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TRAIN.
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NO.
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ALL RIGHT, THEN.
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OK, NOW, MA'AM, THAT'S
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NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING. I'M JUST
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GONNA BACK UP. WHERE YOU GOIN'
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WITH THESE, MA'AM?
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YOU NEED TO HAVE--YOU
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GOTTA PUT SOME PANTS ON.
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I DON'T NEED NO HELP!
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SHE SMELLS.
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WHOA, WHOA. WHOA.
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STOP IT.
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NO! NO! NO. WHOA! WHOA!
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HEY, HEY, HEY. HEY!
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THAT'S MINE! I WAS
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HANDLED BADLY.
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WE DIDN'T HANDLE YOU
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BADLY, MA'AM.
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I WAS HANDLED BADLY!
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NO, YOU WEREN'T.
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I'M GONNA TELL YOU
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SOMETHIN'! I'M GONNA TELL YOU
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SOMETHIN'! I WAS--SOMEONE THROWN
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ME IN A DUMPSTER, OK? AND THEY
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THREW A CHRISTMAS TREE ON IT.
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OK.
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POOF! SET IT ON FIRE!
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UH-HUH. DID YOU CATCH ON
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FIRE, MA'AM?
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YES. AA-A-A-A-AH! AAH!
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NO. DON'T--DON'T--DON'T--
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YOU HAVE TO LET YOUR
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SHOPPING CART--
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I GOT 2 SHOES.
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YES, YOU DO.
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I GOT ONE SOCK.
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YEAH.
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I GOTTA COUNT MY TITTIES.
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NO!
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NO.
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WELL, WELL, WELL!
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I DIDN'T REALIZE JEFF GORDON WAS
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COMING THROUGH TODAY.
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EXCUSE ME?
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I SAID I DIDN'T REALIZE
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JEFF GORDON WAS COMING THROUGH
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TODAY, COMING THROUGH TOWN.
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I WOULD'VE BROUGHT MY
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PICTURE BOOK, HAD HIM AUTOGRAPH
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IT.
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WHAT DID I DO, OFFICER?
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WHAT YOU DID WAS YOU
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DROVE THROUGH AT 86 MILES AN
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HOUR. EVERYBODY ELSE WAS OBEYING
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THE SPEED LIMIT AND YOU WERE
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00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:04,071
DOING 86.
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OH, YOU KNOW, I GOT
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PRODUCE IN MY TRUCK. IT GOES
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BAD.
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GRIEVANCE WITH THE
220
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PRODUCE UNION FOR HAVING YOU
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BOOKED SO THAT YOU HAVE TO
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DRIVE THESE LONG DISTANCES
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WITHOUT ENOUGH TIME TO DRIVE
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'EM. IT AIN'T MY FAULT.
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OK.
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I'M NOT--MY JOB ISN'T TO
227
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PAY YOUR MORTGAGE.
228
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ALL RIGHT, SIR. I--
229
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:19,002
SO THIS TICKET HERE, YOU
230
00:06:19,003 --> 00:06:20,253
CAN CONTEST IT IF YOU WANT TO.
231
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YOU CAN BRING YOUR PRODUCE BOSS
232
00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:22,964
THERE. MAYBE HE WANTS TO PAY FOR
233
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YOU, BECAUSE THIS IS FOR $175.
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$175! COME ON!
235
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$175.
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HAVE A GOOD DAY,
237
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BARETTA.
238
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THIS IS CAR--OH, THEY TOOK
239
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THE DAMN RADIO!
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STOP IN THE NAME
241
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OF THE LAW!
242
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{\an8}DID YOU KNOW THAT?
243
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{\an8}IF YOU EVER APPEAR, EVER, EVER
244
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:55,956
{\an8}ON TELEVISION, EVEN THE NEWS,
245
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OR IN THE NEWSPAPER, YOU GET
PAID--
246
00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:00,502
REALLY?
FOREVER.
247
00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:02,045
YEAH.
DID YOU KNOW THAT?
248
00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:03,505
YEAH.
REALLY?
249
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:04,506
RESIDUALS.
250
00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:05,340
YOU'RE KIDDING ME.
YEAH, RESIDUALS.
251
00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:07,300
FOREVER.
I BET YOU THERE'S GUYS THAT
252
00:07:07,301 --> 00:07:08,885
DO NOTHING FOR A LIVING EXCEPT
GET THEMSELVES IN THE BACKGROUND
253
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OF THE NEWS.
THEY PROBABLY DO.
254
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:11,346
RIGHT.
OR PICTURES IN THE
255
00:07:11,347 --> 00:07:12,889
NEWSPAPER.
AND THEN CHA-CHING,
256
00:07:12,890 --> 00:07:15,100
CHA-CHING. CSI. THEY'RE GONNA
BE HERE.
257
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:16,852
YEAH, CSI.
THEY'LL BE ON THIS
258
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,854
STREET. THERE'S GONNA BE TRUCKS,
GUNFIRE. DON'T FORGET. DON'T GET
259
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:21,314
THE ITCHY 911 FINGER. DON'T
WORRY ABOUT IT.
260
00:07:21,315 --> 00:07:23,066
NO PROBLEM. NO PROBLEM.
WE GOT YOU COVERED.
261
00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:25,694
LOOK AT THAT. THIS IS GOING
RIGHT IN THE SCRAPBOOK. I'LL
262
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:26,820
NEVER FORGET THE DAY.
NOW, THAT WAS A GOOD
263
00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:30,240
GUY. THAT WAS A GOOD GUY. IF WE
HAD A CITY FULL OF THOSE
264
00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:32,159
PEOPLE...
OH!
265
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,076
LOOK AT THESE ROSES.
266
00:07:33,077 --> 00:07:34,161
YOU GOTTA HAVE A SIXTH
267
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:35,412
SENSE ABOUT THINGS, YOU KNOW?
268
00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:36,955
YOU GOT TO BE ABLE TO PREDICT
269
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:40,542
LIKE A--YOU KNOW, LIKE A BIRD OR
270
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:40,793
SOMETHING, YOU KNOW?
271
00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:47,174
SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT!
272
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:48,884
OH.
273
00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:50,886
OH! OH, GOD!
274
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:54,264
LAY LOW!
275
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:54,890
SOMEBODY WILL CALL THE
276
00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:55,557
COPS. IT'S OK.
277
00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:56,516
NO, THEY'RE NOT! WHAT
278
00:07:56,517 --> 00:07:57,392
DID WE JUST SAY TO EVERYBODY?
279
00:07:57,393 --> 00:07:58,435
STAY DOWN! STAY DOWN!
280
00:07:59,187 --> 00:07:59,936
STAY DOWN!
281
00:07:59,937 --> 00:08:01,229
IS THAT CSI? ARE YOU--
282
00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:05,400
ARE YOU WITH CSI? CHA-CHING. HA.
283
00:08:05,401 --> 00:08:09,029
HA HA HA. I'M IN THE SHOT? WOW.
284
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,990
IT'S A SMALL OPERATION.
285
00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:22,250
I KNOW YOU DID IT. YOU
286
00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:24,252
KNOW YOU DID IT. ALL YOU GOTTA
287
00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:27,047
DO, PICK UP THIS PEN, SIGN A
288
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:31,801
CONFESSION. OK. YOU'VE
289
00:08:31,802 --> 00:08:35,764
FORCED ME TO BRING IN THE BIG
GUNS.
290
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:39,684
WHEW. HEY, WIEGEL!
291
00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:40,352
YEAH?
292
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,436
THIS GUY IN HERE WANTS
293
00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:42,145
TO HEAR ALL ABOUT YOUR
294
00:08:42,146 --> 00:08:45,065
APPENDECTOMY SURGERY.
295
00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:48,735
HI. WOW, WHERE DO I
296
00:08:48,736 --> 00:08:52,239
BEGIN? I WAS IN FIFTH GRADE, I
297
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,658
THINK. UM, I WAS IN THIS GUY--
298
00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:56,534
HIS NAME WAS MR. COHEN'S CLASS,
299
00:08:56,535 --> 00:08:57,661
AND YOU HAD TO FIGHT TO GET INTO
300
00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:59,120
THIS CLASS. HE WOULD DO A THING
301
00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:00,914
ONCE A YEAR WHERE YOU WOULD
302
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:03,750
BUILD OUT OF STRAWS AND STRAIGHT
303
00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:07,254
PINS SOMETHING. ALL RIGHT? I--I
304
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:08,755
BUILT A FERRIS WHEEL. WHEN
305
00:09:08,756 --> 00:09:09,881
YOU'RE IN FIFTH GRADE--WELL,
PRETTY MUCH ANYTIME--I DON'T
306
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:13,134
KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT WHEN I SMELL
VOMIT, SOMETIMES IT JUST
307
00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:16,638
HAPPENS, SO--OH, GOD. THE NEXT
THING YOU KNOW, EVERYONE'S
308
00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:19,266
VOMITING. THE WHOLE CLASS IS
VOMITING. WELL, I THINK I'M
309
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:22,644
JUST VOMITING BECAUSE DAVID
COWIE VOMITED. LET ME BACK UP,
310
00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:25,647
BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE
THAT IS, I'M IN HORRIBLE PAIN. I
311
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,857
THINK, "THIS IS SO WEIRD,"
BECAUSE WE JUST SAW THE WHALE
312
00:09:27,858 --> 00:09:31,361
BLUBBER VIDEO. MAYBE IT'S JUST,
YOU KNOW, CONTAGIOUS VOMITING,
313
00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:33,905
LIKE YOU GET SOMETIMES. NO. NOW,
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE EVER HAD
314
00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:37,826
A CATHETER, BUT THEY DID THIS
THING TO ME THAT HURT LIKE THE
315
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:42,872
DICKENS, AND THE GUY SAYS TO ME,
"HAVE YOU TAKEN A BOWEL MOVEMENT
316
00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:44,833
IN THE LAST 3 DAYS?" I'M IN
FIFTH GRADE. I DON'T KNOW FROM
317
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:50,005
BOWEL MOVEMENT. I, OF COURSE--I
CAN'T DO THE DANCE, BUT I CAN
318
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:53,341
FAKE THE DRUMS. AND SHE WAS THE
ONLY GIRL IN SCHOOL WITH A
319
00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:56,928
PHALIDOMIDE BABY HAND, WHICH,
FOR THE TIME, WAS PRETTY RARE.
320
00:09:56,929 --> 00:10:00,515
IT'S A PUFFY PAINT SWEATSHIRT, A
RAINBOW PUFFY PAINT SWEATSHIRT,
321
00:10:00,516 --> 00:10:03,852
AND PURPLE PAINTER'S PANTS WITH
PURPLE SEE-THROUGH SHOES THAT
322
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:07,814
GO-- I WAS LIKE,
"OH, YEAH, I'LL SHOW IT TO YOU,
323
00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:11,359
BUT I DON'T HAVE ANY
HAIR. I'M ONLY IN FIFTH GRADE."
324
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:16,156
AND THE GUY'S LIKE, "OH, THEN I
DON'T WANNA SEE IT ANYWAY."
325
00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:17,949
SO, IT'S, YOU
KNOW--SINCE IT WAS MY THIRD TIME
326
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:19,826
BACK IN THE HOS-- Garcia: TRUDY?
YEAH.
327
00:10:19,827 --> 00:10:21,911
YOU GOT A PHONE CALL.
328
00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:24,539
OH. OK. I'LL BE RIGHT
329
00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:25,206
BACK. I'M GONNA TELL YOU ABOUT
330
00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:26,708
THE TIME WE SNUCK OUT AND STOLE
331
00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:28,043
CRACKERS FROM THE CAFETERIA.
332
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:34,550
AHEM.
333
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:46,394
{\an8}WELL, ONE OF THE
334
00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:47,896
{\an8}THINGS I'M GONNA DO SINCE C.S.I.
335
00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:50,857
{\an8}IS COMING IS, UM, I'M GONNA GET
336
00:10:50,858 --> 00:10:51,733
{\an8}MY TEETH BLEACHED.
337
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:53,568
{\an8}MMM.
338
00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:54,235
I'M GONNA GET MY TEETH
339
00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:55,570
WHITENED JUST IN CASE THEY
340
00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:57,572
WANNA USE ME IN A SCENE.
341
00:10:57,573 --> 00:11:01,034
THAT WON'T HAPPEN. OK?
342
00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:01,868
WHAT YOU--I--
343
00:11:01,869 --> 00:11:02,786
THEY'RE NOT GOING TO
ASK YOU.
344
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:03,995
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
345
00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:06,247
THEY'RE NOT GOING TO
ASK YOU. HAVE YOU WATCHED THAT
346
00:11:06,248 --> 00:11:07,582
SHOW? YOU DO NOT FIT IN.
347
00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:09,959
I'M SAVVY, I'M--I'M
AGGRESSIVE...
348
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:10,877
UH-HUH.
349
00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:13,922
UM, I'M ATTRACTIVE...
350
00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:17,592
UH-HUH, AND YOU GOT AN
ASS THAT'S 2 AXE HANDLES WIDE,
351
00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:19,928
AND THAT'S DISTRACTING. JUST
DON'T--I JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO
352
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:24,599
GET YOUR HOPES UP, OK? I DON'T
WANT YOU TO GET YOUR HOPES UP.
353
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,227
OH, YEAH. NO, NO. I--
I GUESS--I GUESS I SHOULDN'T DO
354
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:28,269
THAT.
355
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:30,814
MAYBE IF THEY STUCK
YOU, LIKE, IN A HEDGE OR
356
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,942
SOMETHING.
357
00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:42,826
{\an8}HOW LONG WE GOTTA BE
OUT HERE DOING THIS?
358
00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:43,785
{\an8}I DON'T KNOW, BUT I'VE
359
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:44,495
HAD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH.
360
00:11:45,996 --> 00:11:48,456
YOU AIN'T HAD NO MORE
THAN I DONE HAD. AND I DON'T
361
00:11:48,457 --> 00:11:49,916
KNOW, YOU KNOW, THERE'S A LOT OF
THESE LITTLE PEOPLE AROUND HERE,
362
00:11:49,917 --> 00:11:53,878
THEY ORDERING AROUND. "GO GET
THIS, GO DO THAT, BLAH, BLAH,
363
00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:55,296
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH-BLAH-BLAH."
364
00:11:55,297 --> 00:11:58,133
AND I THINK THAT THEY THINK THEY
CAN TELL US WHAT TO DO LIKE
THAT, TOO.
365
00:11:58,134 --> 00:12:00,969
NO, THANK YOU. NO. NO.
366
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:03,430
DON'T NOBODY TELL ME
WHAT TO DO. I'M A GROWN WOMAN.
367
00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:04,889
DO YOU HEAR ME? DON'T TELL ME
WHO I CAN'T LOOK AT.
368
00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:08,059
MM-HMM. I GOT A BADGE
AND A GUN. DON'T TELL ME.
369
00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:10,145
YEAH. I WILL LOOK AT
'EM IF I WANT TO.
370
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:12,147
HOW MANY TIMES DO I
HAVE TO TELL YOU? HERE
371
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:14,983
AND HERE. I GOT PEOPLE COMING UP
THESE STEPS ALL DAY LONG, AND
372
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:17,944
WHAT I DON'T NEED IS
CAGNEY AND LACEY STANDING HERE
373
00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:18,945
BLOCKING BILL PETERSEN'S DOOR.
374
00:12:18,946 --> 00:12:21,072
ALL RIGHT? GOT IT?!
375
00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:22,699
GOT IT.
376
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:25,910
GOT IT, PARTNER.
377
00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:27,912
DON'T CRY. DON'T CRY.
378
00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:28,538
DON'T CRY.
379
00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:30,415
I DON'T LIKE THIS.
380
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,125
I GOTTA STAY ON THIS
SIDE IN CASE HE COME BACK, BUT
381
00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:33,501
DON'T CRY. DON'T CRY.
382
00:12:33,502 --> 00:12:34,461
I'M SICK OF THIS.
383
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:37,214
THAT'S HOW THEY DO YOU
IN HOLLYWOOD.
384
00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:42,677
{\an8}DON'T MOVE, SIR.
385
00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:43,344
{\an8}DON'T MOVE!
386
00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:44,012
{\an8}DON'T MOVE!
387
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:45,221
{\an8}DON'T MOVE WHAT? AT ALL?
388
00:12:45,222 --> 00:12:46,181
{\an8}PUT THE BOTTLE DOWN.
389
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:46,764
{\an8}PUT THE BOTTLE DOWN.
390
00:12:46,765 --> 00:12:48,266
{\an8}PUT YOUR HANDS UP.
391
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:49,350
{\an8}BOTTLE DOWN, HANDS UP
392
00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:50,977
JUST LIKE THIS. BOTTLE DOWN,
HANDS UP JUST LIKE THIS.
393
00:12:50,978 --> 00:12:54,022
LIKE THIS? HOW MANY TIMES
YOU WANT ME TO REPEAT THAT
MOTION?
394
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:55,899
NO, NO! NO, NO.
YOU DO IT ONCE. HANDS
AGAINST THE WALL.
395
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:59,652
THIS--THIS HOW Y'ALL WORK
WHEN I CALL?
396
00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:00,570
DID YOU CALL?
397
00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:03,740
I CALLED. I WAS
CARTJACKED THIS MORNING.
398
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:05,033
Dangle and Junior: CARJACKED?
OH.
399
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:08,161
CART. CART.
400
00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:09,996
CART, LIKE A SHOPPING
CART.
401
00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:12,248
WELL, I DON'T PUSH IT
LIKE THAT. THIS GIVES YOU A--
402
00:13:12,249 --> 00:13:15,418
THAT THING IN YOUR--IT BOTHERS
YOUR--UP IN HERE IF YOU PUSH
403
00:13:15,419 --> 00:13:17,045
LIKE THIS. THE COMFORTABLE WAY
TO--WHAT IS IT?
404
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:18,213
CARPAL--NEVER MIND.
405
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:21,674
I'VE NEVER BEEN IN ANY
KIND OF TUNNEL. THE COMFORTABLE
406
00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:26,346
WAY TO PUSH A CART IS FROM BOTH
ANGLES, LIKE THIS, ALMOST ON A--
407
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:28,431
LIKE THIS, ON OBTUSICAL.
408
00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:30,099
YOU PUSH IT OUT, YOU DO
IT ISOMETRICALLY.
409
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:33,937
"FREEZE, YOU DIRTY FOOL!"
FREEZE, YOU DIRTY FOOL.
410
00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:34,729
YEAH.
411
00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:35,813
OKEY-DOKE.
412
00:13:35,814 --> 00:13:37,690
SO, SOMEBODY CAME UP
BEHIND YOU WITH A WEAPON?
413
00:13:37,691 --> 00:13:39,025
SPELL "DIRTY," LIKE,
WITH--LIKE HOW NELLY DO IT,
414
00:13:39,026 --> 00:13:41,069
WITH A "U."
415
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:43,112
"DURTY," LIKE DURTY
SOUTH.
RIGHT.
416
00:13:43,113 --> 00:13:46,616
DON'T--DON'T TELL HIM
HOW TO SPELL THINGS ON HIS PAD.
417
00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:49,494
YOU--YOU DO YOUR JOB, YOU DO
YOUR JOB.
418
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:52,580
YOU KNOW, IN '87, I WAS
SPELLING BEE CHAMPION.
419
00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:54,457
IN '87, YOU WERE A
SPELLING BEE CHAMPION. DO YOU
420
00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:56,251
HAVE ANY DOCUMENTATION TO PROVE
THAT?
421
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:58,086
I USUALLY KEEP IT WITH ME,
BUT IT WAS IN THE CART.
422
00:13:58,087 --> 00:13:59,045
Dangle and Junior: OHHH!
423
00:13:59,046 --> 00:14:01,256
MAN. MAN.
424
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:03,299
YEAH, BECAUSE THEY OUT HERE
TRYIN' TO GET ME, MAN. THAT
425
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:07,053
MAN, THAT STEVEN SPIELBERG
PERSON, STOLE MY--MY E.T. IDEA.
426
00:14:07,054 --> 00:14:08,388
THAT WAS YOUR IDEA?
427
00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:11,766
YEAH. 'CAUSE I HAD A STORY
CALLED E.T. ABOUT A ALIEN,
428
00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:14,269
AND IT STOOD FOR "EVERY TIME,"
'CAUSE EVERY TIME I WOULD LAY
429
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:15,645
DOWN, AN ALIEN WOULD COME.
430
00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:18,439
OUR FIRST STOP LOOKING
FOR THIS CART--SPIELBERG'S.
431
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:19,941
SPIELBERG. SPIELBERG!
432
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:24,153
LET'S MOVE, BOY, LET'S MOVE! WE
GOT 9 HOURS OF DRIVING TO GET TO
433
00:14:24,154 --> 00:14:28,075
HOLLYWOOD AND GET STEVEN
SPIELBERG INTO CUSTODY!
434
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:38,502
{\an8}I'M A GROWN-ASS MAN, OK?
435
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:42,005
YOU ARE A GROWN-ASS MAN.
436
00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:47,844
YOU DO NOT GET TO TALK TO
ME--YOU DO NOT!
437
00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:49,637
SHH. COME ON.
438
00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:51,306
HELGENBERGER.
439
00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:54,934
I KNOW. WHO THE
HELGENBERGER DOES SHE THINK
SHE IS?
440
00:14:54,935 --> 00:14:59,981
YEAH. HEY, GOOD-LOOKIN'
BLACK DUDE? HE'S NOT THAT
441
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:01,983
GOOD-LOOKIN'. YOU SEE HIM?
442
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:03,318
YEAH. HELL, YEAH.
443
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:04,819
SHORT--ABOUT THIS HIGH.
444
00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:06,362
YEAH. HE'S NOT THAT
GOOD-LOOKIN'.
445
00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:07,280
TV, MAN.
446
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:08,990
I'M WAY CUTE--I'M WAY
CUTER.
447
00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:09,574
WHAT UP, BLOOD?
448
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,034
HEY. HOW YOU DOIN'?
449
00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:13,454
HOW YOU DOIN'?
450
00:15:18,542 --> 00:15:20,168
ASS . GIVES YOU
SOME LOVE.
451
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:22,337
YEAH, BUT "WHAT UP,
BLOOD," I MEAN--
452
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:24,088
"WHAT UP, BLOOD?"
YOU DON'T KNOW ME. AND I
453
00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:28,009
HATE THAT I NATURALLY--IT WAS
NATURAL FOR ME, AND I--I
454
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:30,178
NATURALLY GAVE HIM DAP. I DON'T
KNOW YOU.
455
00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:43,358
AND HOW. AND SHE'S A
REAL CATCH, TOO--INTELLIGENT,
456
00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:49,864
CHALLENGING, AND SHE'S 16
YEARS OLD, THE LEGAL AGE OF
457
00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:51,074
CONSENT IN THE STATE OF NEVADA.
458
00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:56,704
WE'RE GOIN' DINNER--FOR DINNER,
ROLLER-SKATING. THEN WE MIGHT
459
00:15:56,705 --> 00:15:59,874
POP OVER TO CALIFORNIA FOR SOME
DANCING.
460
00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:04,420
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. SLOW
DOWN, BILL.
461
00:16:04,421 --> 00:16:07,215
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
462
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:11,344
WELL, 16 MAY BE THE AGE
OF CONSENT IN NEVADA, BUT NOT IN
463
00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:15,765
CALIFORNIA. IT'S 18 IN THE
GOLDEN STATE.
464
00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:17,225
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO
KEEP TRACK?
465
00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:19,185
WHY NOT DO WHAT I DO?
466
00:16:19,186 --> 00:16:25,274
I ALWAYS CARRY AGE OF CONSENT
STATE-BY-STATE GUIDE.
467
00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:31,781
14 IN IDAHO? HOW DID I
EVER LIVE WITHOUT ONE OF THESE
HANDY CARDS?
468
00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:34,993
{\an8}ORDER YOURS TODAY. WHY
NOT BE SURE EVERY TIME.
469
00:16:48,215 --> 00:16:49,925
{\an8}ALL CLEAR.
470
00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:55,555
{\an8}ARE THEY SHOOTIN' RIGHT
NOW?
471
00:16:55,556 --> 00:17:01,644
{\an8}I THINK SO. THAT KIND
OF JEWY GUY WAS YELLING.
472
00:17:01,645 --> 00:17:02,812
"ACTION"?
473
00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:08,735
YEAH. CAN I ASK YOU
SOMETHING? AN HONEST QUESTION?
474
00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:11,112
DO I COME OFF AS GAY OR
SOMETHING? DO I COME OFF AS,
475
00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:13,239
LIKE, OUTWARDLY GAY? 'CAUSE I
DON'T KNOW WHY SHE WOULD'VE SAID
476
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,616
THAT AS SHE WENT BY BEFORE.
477
00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:18,161
I THOUGHT EITHER WAY--
WAS SHE GOOFING WITH ME?
478
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:20,037
I DON'T THINK SHE WAS
GOOFING. I THINK THAT WAS JUST--
479
00:17:20,038 --> 00:17:22,457
ROLLING SOUND HERE, PEOPLE.
480
00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:24,083
WHAT? WHAT DID HE SAY?
I DON'T KNOW.
481
00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:25,209
ROLLING WILD TRACK, GUYS.
482
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:27,462
WANNA KEEP IT DOWN? YOU KNOW
WHAT WILD TRACK IS? IT MEANS
483
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:29,797
SHUT THE UP, ALL RIGHT?
484
00:17:29,798 --> 00:17:32,425
JUST KEEP IT DOWN, KEEP YOUR
EYE ON THE DOOR.
485
00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:37,138
WILD TRACK.
486
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:37,972
WHAT?
487
00:17:37,973 --> 00:17:39,099
WILD TRACK.
488
00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:50,818
COLD TOWEL?
489
00:17:50,819 --> 00:17:51,319
A WHAT?
490
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:52,653
COLD TOWEL?
491
00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:53,279
COAL TOWEL?
492
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:56,115
MM-HMM.
493
00:17:56,116 --> 00:17:58,159
THANK YOU. THANK YOU
VERY MUCH.
494
00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:58,826
THANK YOU.
495
00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:02,663
YEAH, YOU'RE WELCOME.
496
00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:09,003
WHAT DID SHE SAY? WHAT
DID SHE SAY?
497
00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:10,630
CO-TOWEL?
498
00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:12,716
COLD--COLD TOWEL?
499
00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:23,726
COLD TOWEL. AHEM.
500
00:18:23,727 --> 00:18:25,144
IT'S COLD.
501
00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:29,357
YEAH.
502
00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:31,859
I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA
SAY, LIKE, UH, C.S.I.--
503
00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:34,238
MMM, TASTE IT.
504
00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:39,909
{\an8}THERE. DOES THAT MAKE
YOU FEEL BETTER?
505
00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:40,576
{\an8}YEAH.
506
00:18:40,577 --> 00:18:42,370
{\an8}GOOD. WE DID IT. FINE.
507
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:43,704
{\an8}HEY, CARL!
508
00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:44,831
{\an8}HEY, CHIEF CARL.
509
00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:45,665
{\an8}HEY, GUYS. HOW'S IT GOING?
510
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:48,251
OH, BOY. GUESS HOW IT'S
GOING.
511
00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:49,043
UH...
512
00:18:49,044 --> 00:18:49,627
WHAT DO YOU THINK
HAPPENED?
513
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:50,962
PRETTY DARN GOOD?
514
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:53,297
MMM, IT'S NOT GOING SO
DARN GOOD WITH THE RING-TOSS
PEOPLE.
515
00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:55,383
WHAT HAPPENED THERE? DID
SOMEBODY GET ONE IN THE EYE?
516
00:18:55,384 --> 00:19:00,054
NO. THEY CALLED AND
SAID, "THERE IS A GENTLEMAN
517
00:19:00,055 --> 00:19:01,347
SITTING IN FRONT OF THE
RING TOSS..."
518
00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:02,265
YEAH?
519
00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:04,142
"SELLING POPCORN ON A
STICK."
520
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:07,103
YEAH. IT'S ME'S.
521
00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:08,104
YEAH?
522
00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:09,313
YEAH, I'M--
DO YOU WANNA RUN RIGHT
523
00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:11,440
NOW? DO YOU WANNA JUST GET UP
AND SCAMPER? DO YOU WANNA RUN?
524
00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:12,483
WELL...
525
00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:13,192
NO?
526
00:19:13,193 --> 00:19:15,570
NO. I'M ON A LUNCH BREAK.
527
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:20,241
YOU KNOW, IF YOU PUT A BURGER IN
THE TOASTER, IT'LL SAY HAPPY
BIRTHDAY.
528
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:21,909
IF YOU PUT A BURGER IN
A TOASTER, IT'LL DO WHAT?
529
00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:23,411
IT'LL SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
530
00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:25,580
DO YOU HAVE THE BATH TUB WITH
THE GOAT WATER?
531
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:26,205
YES, WE DO.
532
00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:27,415
YES, WE DO, CARL.
533
00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:28,875
UH, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL
CALL AHEAD TO THE STATION AND
534
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:30,918
MAKE SURE THEY FILL UP THE BATH
TUB WITH GOAT WATER.
535
00:19:30,919 --> 00:19:33,921
YEAH. THAT WAY I CAN DO
CHOCOLATE PIE.
536
00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:34,797
YEAH.
537
00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:46,976
YOU WERE GONE, LIKE,
20 MINUTES.
538
00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:53,107
I KNOW. I WENT BY THE
SET. THEY HAVE THIS GUY TOTALLY
539
00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:55,526
CUT OPEN, LIKE, HIS EN--ALL HIS
ENTRAILS ARE HANGING OUT. AND
540
00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:58,571
I GOT TO TAKE A PICTURE LIKE
THIS, NEXT TO HIS STOMACH,
541
00:19:58,572 --> 00:19:59,780
LIKE...
542
00:19:59,781 --> 00:20:01,490
OH, WELL, THAT'S GREAT,
WHILE I'M HERE ALL BY MYSELF
543
00:20:01,491 --> 00:20:02,533
TRYING TO HOLD DOWN THE FORT.
544
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:03,367
I BROUGHT YOU A COOKIE.
545
00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:04,452
YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET PISSY
ABOUT IT.
546
00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:05,453
NO, THANK YOU.
547
00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:06,954
GOOD, 'CAUSE THIS ONE
FELL ON THE GROUND.
548
00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:08,623
MM-HMM, WELL, YOU'RE
GETTIN' CRUMBS ON THE STEPS...
549
00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:10,249
IT'S FINE. THERE'S A GUY
WHO COMES AROUND--
550
00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:11,459
MISS STARLET.
551
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:13,502
THERE'S A--THEY GOT A
GUY FOR EVERYTHING. YOU GO LIKE
552
00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:18,299
THIS, "MAKEUP!" A GUY COMES UP,
POOF, POOF, POOF.
553
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,092
YEAH, THAT POWDER?
554
00:20:20,093 --> 00:20:21,802
THAT PUFF?
555
00:20:21,803 --> 00:20:22,762
GET OFF THE STAIRS,
PLEASE.
556
00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:25,640
UH, OH, I'M SORRY
ABOUT THAT.
557
00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:27,808
LISTEN, DIRECTOR SAW
YOU THIS MORNING.
558
00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:28,809
YEAH?
559
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:30,645
SAID, "WHO'S THAT?" I
SAID, "IT'S A REAL COP."
560
00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:31,395
YEAH?
561
00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:34,106
WANTS TO PUT YOU IN THE
SCENE.
562
00:20:34,107 --> 00:20:35,107
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
563
00:20:35,108 --> 00:20:36,275
FOR REAL.
564
00:20:36,276 --> 00:20:37,818
Wiegel, laughing: WHAT DID I
TELL YA? I SAID HE WAS LOOKING
565
00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:38,819
AT ME! NOW?
566
00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:39,946
FOR REAL, YEAH. LET'S GO.
567
00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:41,155
YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST
568
00:20:41,156 --> 00:20:43,824
TELLING HER THAT I USED TO, UH--
WATCH THE DOOR, PLEASE.
569
00:20:43,825 --> 00:20:44,492
JUST WATCH THE DOOR. TRUDY,
COME ON.
570
00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:46,160
I'M GONNA DO THAT.
571
00:20:46,161 --> 00:20:47,328
I'M ON IT!
572
00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:48,788
HOLD MY COOKIE. I DON'T
WANNA LOOK UNPROFESSIONAL.
573
00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:49,873
THANKS! HAVE FUN!
574
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:58,547
OH, SHE, UM--THEY TOOK
HER OFF, I THINK, TO DO SOME
575
00:20:58,548 --> 00:21:02,510
ACTING OR SOMETHING.
576
00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:06,013
SO, I WAS JUST WONDERING,
UH, MAYBE AFTER WE WRAP, YOU AND
577
00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:09,350
I COULD GO GET A DRINK OR
SOMETHING.
578
00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:09,725
YOU AND ME?
579
00:21:09,726 --> 00:21:11,852
YEAH.
580
00:21:11,853 --> 00:21:15,648
UH, WHERE YOU GO AROUND
HERE?
581
00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:18,150
OH, THERE'S A COUPLE BARS
DOWN THE ROAD.
582
00:21:18,151 --> 00:21:18,526
YEAH?
583
00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:19,318
YEAH.
584
00:21:19,319 --> 00:21:21,362
LOTS OF CUTE GUYS
THERE?
585
00:21:21,363 --> 00:21:22,948
NOT REALLY.
39812
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