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1
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:07,631
Uh, we have a hotline for tips
2
00:00:07,632 --> 00:00:10,175
to the sheriff's department
and mostly we get
3
00:00:10,176 --> 00:00:12,594
prank calls to it, but today,
we got an actual
4
00:00:12,595 --> 00:00:14,096
tip leading us here
to this, uh...
5
00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:19,393
Little semi tractor hitch
full of stolen property.
6
00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:20,602
Hey, check this out.
7
00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:21,937
Little tikki doll.
8
00:00:21,938 --> 00:00:23,272
- 'Uh-uh, uh-uh.'
- 'Tikki doll.'
9
00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:25,107
'No, no, no, no, no.'
10
00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:27,109
- That is voodoo.
- It's not.
11
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:28,652
- It is.
- 'She makes a point.'
12
00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:30,279
Sometimes this kind of stuff
13
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:31,613
has like, a gris gris.
14
00:00:31,614 --> 00:00:32,781
Travis, put it back.
15
00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:33,741
'No, don't,
I wouldn't mess with that.'
16
00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:35,909
- No, no, no--
- 'No, I'm serious put...'
17
00:00:35,910 --> 00:00:37,286
- 'Don't mess with it.'
- 'Don't open it.'
18
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:40,289
It's not ancient juju anything.
It's a lighter.
19
00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:43,000
'Tikki lighter.'
20
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,084
Whoa!
21
00:00:44,085 --> 00:00:45,502
Hey! Hey! Hey! Aah! Aah!
22
00:00:47,630 --> 00:00:49,339
I told you, Travis!
23
00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:51,467
'Swing him! Swing him!'
24
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:53,343
- Told me what?
- Don't swing them!
25
00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:08,234
{\an8}Go, go, go!
26
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:42,017
So this little oriental girl
who used to do our
27
00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:44,353
fingerprinting decided to sue us
28
00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:48,148
for creating, I guess,
a "hostile work environment"
29
00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:50,317
and, uh, she lost!
30
00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:54,029
So the department considers us
31
00:01:54,030 --> 00:01:57,074
40 grand in the black
and look what we got!
32
00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:01,829
- 'Check it.'
- This is hot!
33
00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:07,543
'This is 10,000 pounds'
34
00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,211
if you're goin' to jail,
.
35
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:14,716
This is like you, Jonesy...
36
00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:16,718
You know?
37
00:02:16,719 --> 00:02:18,554
'Got the bulletproof
windshield?'
38
00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:20,055
- Oh, do it.
- 'No, no, no, no, no!'
39
00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:21,390
No, no, we did not get that!
40
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:23,267
We did not get that.
We didn't get the CD changer
41
00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:24,852
the leather,
or the bulletproof glass.
42
00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:26,770
- Sorry.
- We didn't get the CD changer?
43
00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:28,189
Oh, it's Trudy. Give it a shot.
44
00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:30,399
Hi, honey, you're not
supposed to be over here
45
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,609
this is a restricted area.
46
00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:34,570
Yeah, police personnel only.
47
00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:36,029
Yeah, I'm sorry to...
48
00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:37,281
- Hi.
- Hey.
49
00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:38,907
- How are you doin'?
- How ya doin'?
50
00:02:38,908 --> 00:02:40,367
- Good.
- Sorry to impose.
51
00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:42,536
- It's alright.
- Hey.
52
00:02:42,537 --> 00:02:45,414
Always willing to help a...
53
00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:47,374
Fellow cyclist.
54
00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:48,959
Looking for a James.
55
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,420
- 'James?'
- I was looking for my dad.
56
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:52,338
Mom gave me this tag.
57
00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:55,424
That's my coast guard tag.
58
00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:58,427
You've been
to Honolulu, right?
59
00:02:58,428 --> 00:02:59,512
Only about 21 years ago, yeah.
60
00:03:01,556 --> 00:03:03,016
I'm 21.
61
00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:06,810
Oh, my God!
62
00:03:06,811 --> 00:03:10,105
- Um...
- Dad!
63
00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:12,441
Wow! What a big, strong
boy you are!
64
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:13,275
Wow! Wow!
65
00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:15,611
Big, strong...
66
00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:17,446
- I've been looking for...
- Wow!
67
00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:20,198
- This is crazy!
- 'Jeez whiz.'
68
00:03:20,199 --> 00:03:23,952
You don't look very much alike.
69
00:03:23,953 --> 00:03:25,495
Oh, but you could see it
in the mannerisms.
70
00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:27,456
I mean, it's not like physical
71
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,499
but it's like facial gestures.
72
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:33,128
- Same body type--
- Smile. Smile.
73
00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:35,464
Both of ya smile.
See, look at that.
74
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:37,341
You know, they got
DNA testin' places on
75
00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:39,801
you know,
every street corner, sadly.
76
00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:42,137
Who's Your Dad?
is over above that--
77
00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:45,098
That's the one I've
used a couple times.
78
00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:47,601
The quickest one is Yo, Baby,
Yo, in 24 hours
79
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:48,518
boom, it'll be a done deal.
80
00:03:48,519 --> 00:03:51,939
Wow! Let's go get the test!
81
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:55,651
You got more than a hummer
today, huh, lieutenant?
82
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:58,779
- Hey, what's your name?
- Kahneh.
83
00:03:58,780 --> 00:03:59,905
Jim.
84
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,114
Good lookin' fella, you are.
85
00:04:01,115 --> 00:04:03,575
I didn't expect you to look
the way you did.
86
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:05,953
'Looks kinda like Keanu Reeves
and Kermit the frog'
87
00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:07,871
'out on an adventure
or somethin'.'
88
00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:09,498
You know, I could've saved
'em the trouble from the DNA
89
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:11,333
test and just [bleep] that kid
off in a cup
90
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:14,087
and we would have known
right away.
91
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:23,762
I love these things. To me,
the whole argument about...
92
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:27,349
You know, become more
independent on oil is crazy
93
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:28,475
'cause if we use up
all their oil, we win.
94
00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:31,353
That's how we win.
95
00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:34,314
Ya finish off a bank by takin'
all the money out.
96
00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:36,441
Beat them damn towel-heads
by gettin' all their oil.
97
00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:37,526
Exact or if you want--
You know, people say
98
00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:40,821
"Oh, we should be usin'
solar power or...
99
00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:42,990
"We should be burnin'
tea leaves, ya know
100
00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:44,533
to-to to run
the country with," ya know.
101
00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:48,537
Let's chase the bad guys
on a water wheel.
102
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:49,538
{\an8}How's that space over there?
Can you look?
103
00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:52,374
{\an8}Uh, it's pretty small.
104
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:54,668
- Alright, okay.
- Okay, I'm good?
105
00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:56,211
Alright, yeah.
106
00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:57,879
- No! Stop it!
- Okay, I'll stop it!
107
00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,341
- Don't yell at me, Kimball.
- I'm sorry, well...
108
00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:03,385
Look, I told you,
this space is too small.
109
00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:04,636
- We're not gonna make it.
- It's fine, the space is--
110
00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:07,347
- We're not gonna make it!
- I am gonna make it!
111
00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:11,226
I'm only halfway in the spot!
I'm gonna make it!
112
00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:13,729
Boy, she handles like a dream,
now don't she?
113
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:14,646
Listen to that engine.
114
00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:17,357
Yeah, just like a dream.
115
00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:19,026
You think you can do better?
You want to
116
00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:21,278
why don't you [bleep].
Do it.
117
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:22,529
Yeah, I think I'd like
to do that.
118
00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:24,906
- Do it, do it, come on.
- Alright. Okay.
119
00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:26,242
Aah!
120
00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:29,911
Uh, Junior?
121
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:37,252
{\an8}'It's good to have you
on the show.'
122
00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:38,420
{\an8}Showtime.
123
00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:40,088
{\an8}'I'm happy that you could
stop through'
124
00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:42,758
{\an8}'and be here. And...'
125
00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:46,303
And, Mr. Freeman, just for you
winning your Oscar this year
126
00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:48,263
I would like to commend you
127
00:05:48,264 --> 00:05:50,057
'cause it's a beautiful
128
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:52,184
clearly, I didn't know
you and...
129
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:55,228
You and Jamie could win
in the same year.
130
00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:56,605
'And what? Hmm?'
131
00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:59,441
'Ha-ha, you crazy, Morgan!'
132
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:02,110
'Morgan, you are crazy!'
133
00:06:02,111 --> 00:06:03,445
- Yeah, I know.
- 'Ah, how ya doin' there?'
134
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:06,281
Excuse me, how ya doin', sir?
135
00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:08,617
- 'I'm good, excuse me.'
- 'Excuse me.'
136
00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:10,660
Excuse me, this is the
Junior III show
137
00:06:10,661 --> 00:06:13,789
and you are definitely standin'
in front of Mr. Morgan Freeman.
138
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:15,957
If you can't, unless it's just
'cause he's black
139
00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:16,958
you gonna act like that.
140
00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:19,461
I apologize. I'm a big fan.
141
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:21,505
Sir, you can't have your
couches...
142
00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:24,466
It's not my couch.
It's the show's.
143
00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:26,968
It's a show.
Could you please sit down.
144
00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:27,803
'Enjoy, come on!'
145
00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:30,013
'If you gonna
talk to me formally'
146
00:06:30,014 --> 00:06:31,515
security, you don't want that.
You don't want that.
147
00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:34,935
Now, I'm Junior III.
How are you doing?
148
00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:38,105
- Hello, my name is Trudy.
- Trudy the what?
149
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:39,648
- Trudy the what?
- Like Junior the third.
150
00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:42,943
- 'The deputy.'
- Trudy the deputy, I like that.
151
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,820
And how long have you been...
152
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:45,655
How long have you liked women?
153
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:50,700
'It's for the show.'
154
00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:52,494
- For the show.
- For the show?
155
00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:55,372
I understand that you're doing
a show here
156
00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:56,164
and I think that's terrific--
157
00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:59,000
Could y'all not
could y'all pause
158
00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:01,545
for station identification?
159
00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:03,297
Sure.
160
00:07:07,885 --> 00:07:09,719
With all due respect,
we, and, Mr. Freeman
161
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,513
I love your work.
162
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,014
'He likes being called
Morg Free.'
163
00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:15,517
But we did get a phone call
164
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,060
from your agent.
165
00:07:17,061 --> 00:07:19,354
Uh, that said there is
a big movie...
166
00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:21,648
Big movie. It's with Tom Hanks,
Mr. Freeman.
167
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:25,819
And apparently, there's a role
in it for you as well.
168
00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:27,487
You know what's really weird?
'Cause y'all think I'm...
169
00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:29,406
You tryin' to play me
and you think I'm really crazy.
170
00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:30,699
I know...
171
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:31,741
Ain't no Morgan right there.
172
00:07:31,742 --> 00:07:33,368
I was pretendin' and y'all
173
00:07:33,369 --> 00:07:35,037
obviously...
174
00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:38,166
That was me practicin'.
175
00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:42,377
Morgan gets here,
Morgan gets here
176
00:07:42,378 --> 00:07:44,379
in a little while.
177
00:07:52,096 --> 00:07:54,806
{\an8}Well, before we continue
with our program today
178
00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:58,727
I just wanted to make
an announcement that
179
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:02,272
Jason Bumgardner has been
disqualified
180
00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:03,649
from the hoop shoot contest.
181
00:08:06,485 --> 00:08:07,736
Right, and, thank you.
182
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:11,406
Um, uh, children
183
00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:14,534
uh, there is an epidemic
going around
184
00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:16,411
especially with the girls
185
00:08:16,412 --> 00:08:18,622
about being mean
to one another, okay.
186
00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:20,707
- 'Take the high ground.'
- 'Here we go.'
187
00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:22,876
She's gonna say something
mean to me
188
00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:24,712
and I'm gonna show you how
you should react.
189
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:31,593
Go ahead. And, action.
190
00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:34,721
Raineesha, I haven't seen you
at the gym lately
191
00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:35,805
but I have seen you on
the discovery channel
192
00:08:35,806 --> 00:08:39,809
with the other baboons
shining your purple, huge asses.
193
00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:41,394
Ha-ha, it's amazing
that you have
194
00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:43,396
so many illegitimate kids.
195
00:08:43,397 --> 00:08:45,440
She has three and doesn't know
196
00:08:45,441 --> 00:08:47,275
who the father is of any of them
197
00:08:47,276 --> 00:08:47,776
and that's just a little--
198
00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:50,488
Oh! Ow! Ow!
199
00:09:01,832 --> 00:09:04,417
So it's father, son day
200
00:09:04,418 --> 00:09:06,461
here at, uh, Chateau De Dangle.
201
00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:08,964
I got some
202
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:11,132
sports item.
203
00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:15,136
Gonna have a day of father fun
monkey business.
204
00:09:15,137 --> 00:09:16,972
Possibly father, son,
possibly not.
205
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:18,683
Kahneh!
Rise and shine!
206
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:23,770
Hey, dad.
207
00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:26,524
'Hey, Kahneh.'
208
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:30,777
It's kinda hot out here.
209
00:09:30,778 --> 00:09:31,696
Starting to sweat a little bit.
210
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:38,159
- Whoa!
- 'Oh, dad!'
211
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,494
- I'm alright.
- 'You okay?'
212
00:09:39,495 --> 00:09:40,913
- Yeah.
- 'Sorry, sorry.'
213
00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:45,542
It's okay, my thumb-my thumb
popped out for a second
214
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:46,835
and then I landed on my
lighter on the way down.
215
00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:55,845
♪ Check out check it
check out ♪
216
00:09:57,888 --> 00:09:59,723
Hey, you know,
can I say something?
217
00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:02,225
Say it.
218
00:10:02,226 --> 00:10:05,353
Even if the DNA test
comes back negative
219
00:10:05,354 --> 00:10:07,982
and it turns out
I'm not your pa...
220
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:10,943
...I want us still to be tight, okay?
221
00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:17,490
Alright. Of course.
222
00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:18,908
Maybe even tighter than before.
223
00:10:20,911 --> 00:10:26,207
'Well, the hyenas have
picked up your scent, Kahneh.'
224
00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:27,876
Is he of drinking age?
225
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:30,378
'Ah, the new Wonderbras
are out, huh?'
226
00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:31,755
Yes, they are.
227
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:33,715
- Hey, there, ladies.
- It's hotter than hell here.
228
00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:35,842
- Are those margaritas?
- 'Yup.'
229
00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:40,180
How are you doing?
All tan and everything.
230
00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:43,016
I need a hug! I need a hug!
231
00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:44,893
- Get over here!
- Hey!
232
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:48,022
Oh! Whoa! Look at that!
233
00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:53,109
- Oh, hey, now.
- Look they dancing.
234
00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:54,361
That's not baby dancin'.
235
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:55,987
Women their age have brittle
bones, so be a little careful.
236
00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:57,739
'Oh, stop.'
237
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:05,331
{\an8}Sir!
238
00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:08,875
{\an8}- Is he hiding?
- Apparently.
239
00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:12,253
{\an8}- 'Attraction is closed!'
- Attraction is closed?
240
00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:12,921
Hey, guess what?
It's open again.
241
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:15,090
Peek-a-boo.
That's right.
242
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:17,217
Peek-a-boo show at the fair, welcome.
243
00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:19,552
Guess your weight.
Guess your weight.
244
00:11:19,553 --> 00:11:20,303
Win a doll.
245
00:11:20,304 --> 00:11:22,430
Yeah, leads me to my
next question.
246
00:11:22,431 --> 00:11:23,890
Did you try to guess
247
00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:25,308
'this young lady's weight,
sir?'
248
00:11:25,309 --> 00:11:28,937
Well, read the sign!
Guess your weight!
249
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:31,731
Yes, sir, you've caught me!
250
00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:32,440
Put on the cuffs and...
251
00:11:32,441 --> 00:11:34,234
We're gettin' to that, in fact.
252
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:35,610
That's not the problem
at all, sir.
253
00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:37,612
The problem is the way
in which
254
00:11:37,613 --> 00:11:40,615
you're guessing people's weight,
specifically women.
255
00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:42,033
- With almost psychic abilities.
- 'Really?'
256
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:43,785
Yes, would you like me to
guess your weight?
257
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:46,246
Apparently,
you were quite accurate.
258
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:48,456
Yes, I would love for you
to guess my weight, sir.
259
00:11:48,457 --> 00:11:52,628
I would say you are
a sturdy 98 pounds.
260
00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:55,755
You were a little more
accurate with the lady, sir.
261
00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:57,465
Well, I took a little more
time then, and plus
262
00:11:57,466 --> 00:11:59,300
she had actually paid a ticket.
Ya gotta pay.
263
00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:01,886
These things don't grow
on trees.
264
00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:03,972
So, anyway, I'm gonna take
a break now.
265
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,473
- No, you're not!
- No, sir.
266
00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:07,183
Would you like to demonstrate
on me
267
00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:08,810
how you guessed her weight?
268
00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:09,936
Show on the lady deputy.
269
00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:12,647
Well, you can't,
you know, first of all
270
00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:13,857
there's a lot of clothing
that blocks the view
271
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:17,986
so you gotta, you know,
maybe I...
272
00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:20,447
- Could you--
- Touch and poked?
273
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:21,948
Touch, there was some...
274
00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:24,492
On the elbow, I, you know,
because sometimes--
275
00:12:24,493 --> 00:12:25,660
'Sir, there's no fat
on the elbow.'
276
00:12:25,661 --> 00:12:28,288
'Well, there's a weight
the fat on your elbow'
277
00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:30,373
is directly related
to the fat everywhere else!
278
00:12:30,374 --> 00:12:31,708
No, that's not true
at all, sir.
279
00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:32,792
It's true, if I touched her
280
00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:34,377
it was directly on the elbow.
281
00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:36,504
Stop lying! Stop lying!
282
00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:38,465
Fine, first, what I do is
283
00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:40,300
I have them take off
their jacket.
284
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:42,886
Then what I do is I ask them
to sit into my hands.
285
00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:44,512
Just sit into my hands.
286
00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:45,973
Do it, Wiegel.
287
00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:52,187
Okay, I'm gonna...
I'm gonna guess 150.
288
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:55,398
And that's it.
That's everything that happened!
289
00:12:55,399 --> 00:12:57,525
Well, I...
290
00:12:57,526 --> 00:12:58,860
- I stuck a finger in.
- Okay, on the ground.
291
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:01,071
- Damn it!
- Oh, [bleep] son of a bitch!
292
00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:07,243
- He's going in the bouncing...
- 'No, no!'
293
00:13:07,244 --> 00:13:10,705
Nothing to see here.
294
00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:12,248
Just a rapist with a gun
to his head.
295
00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:16,920
If I had a nickel for every time
296
00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:20,256
some kid came up here sayin'
297
00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:24,219
you know what, "Jones,
you're my dad" I'd...
298
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:26,387
Probably have, like 75 cents.
299
00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:28,556
- 'Exactly.'
- 5, 10, 15, 20, 15, 30.
300
00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:33,062
35, 40, 45, 50, 55, 60,
65, 70, 75...
301
00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:36,106
- About a dollar.
- Yeah.
302
00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:39,401
{\an8}Alright, here we go.
I got it.
303
00:13:40,444 --> 00:13:43,238
{\an8}- Ah, hell. I'm sorry.
- Did you hit somebody?
304
00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:44,948
No, no, I think it's the curb.
305
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:48,243
- Got it, got it, got it.
- No! Look out!
306
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:51,621
Okay, okay.
I got another foot.
307
00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:54,415
- Not really.
- No, you made me brake hard.
308
00:13:54,416 --> 00:13:56,544
- How do I get out?
- Open the door.
309
00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:00,672
'Brake it to the left--'
310
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:03,216
Brake it to the left, right, right?
311
00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:06,761
Let go of the button.
I'm tryin' to talk.
312
00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:08,973
I'm tryin' to talk.
Let go of your button.
313
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:12,100
'Let go of the button.'
314
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:14,102
- Good.
- 'Yes.'
315
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:17,438
- Good? Yeah?
- Yeah.
316
00:14:17,439 --> 00:14:19,774
Now go to the right.
Go to the right a little bit.
317
00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:20,150
Yeah, you got it.
318
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:24,905
What happened?
319
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:29,450
- we're out of gas.
- We're out of gas?
320
00:14:38,627 --> 00:14:41,087
It was interesting, the way
I met Kahneh's mother.
321
00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:42,005
I was in the Coast Guard
for a while
322
00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:45,258
and I was over in Honolulu
323
00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:47,927
and, uh, there was this place
324
00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:50,013
called The Jade Lady
325
00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:53,808
and they did a drag show
that would knock
326
00:14:53,809 --> 00:14:56,477
your socks off,
I mean, it was amazing.
327
00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:59,898
Uh, the fellas in the show...
328
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:02,984
Here's the thing.
There was--
329
00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:04,652
You said there was a...
A drag show?
330
00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:06,821
That's what I thought.
331
00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:08,031
It's just such a long story,
it's so complicated
332
00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:10,825
we'll never know the answer.
333
00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:12,160
- It wasn't a drag show.
- Who cares?
334
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,871
It wasn't a drag show.
Just regular ladies, apparently.
335
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:25,506
{\an8}- It's a boy!
- No, don't say anything...
336
00:15:25,507 --> 00:15:27,634
{\an8}Kahneh Dangle!
337
00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:28,718
Perhaps.
338
00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:31,512
So, any of you guys
surf or anything--
339
00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:32,722
Only porn on the web.
340
00:15:33,682 --> 00:15:35,391
- 'This guy...'
- 'He does have a real...'
341
00:15:35,392 --> 00:15:37,894
He has a problem
with pornography, he does.
342
00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:40,105
He does, he's been written up
about it a couple of times.
343
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:43,024
'Can't prove it,
can't prove it!'
344
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,901
Well I did prove it, but okay.
345
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:46,319
Just gotta get yourself
in the zone.
346
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:47,737
Yeah, he's a great natural
athlete.
347
00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:49,989
I mean, he's a perfect
physical specimen.
348
00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:52,241
You got, I mean, your feet are
really big, so I'm sure...
349
00:15:52,242 --> 00:15:55,036
- 'Yeah, plant on that.'
- Just plant it.
350
00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:57,246
- 'Yeah, I got big feet, too.'
- Yeah, I see that. I like that.
351
00:15:57,247 --> 00:16:00,083
All you want to do is spread
your legs, spread your legs.
352
00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:01,209
There ya go. Alright now...
353
00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:03,087
Now bend up a little.
You're bending a little too far.
354
00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:08,174
Focus on the sand, okay.
355
00:16:08,175 --> 00:16:10,343
Now, you just want to bend your
knees, bend your knees.
356
00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:11,260
Just bend your knees,
yeah, just keep bending it.
357
00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:13,096
And you gotta ride--
358
00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:14,389
Okay, we'll do that more later.
359
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:15,390
We'll do that later.
360
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:17,309
I just want to say something.
361
00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:20,854
I love this man.
362
00:16:22,439 --> 00:16:25,818
He's the best man in my life.
363
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:29,362
Mr. Jim Dangle.
364
00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:31,740
Lieutenant Jim Dangle.
365
00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:38,204
{\an8}'We'll find out who's right!'
366
00:16:38,205 --> 00:16:40,415
{\an8}'You'll find out!'
367
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:42,417
{\an8}Hey, Carmen, how ya doin'?
368
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:44,293
Get him out of here,
he's an ass
369
00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:45,211
- Oh, you...
- I'll take care of this.
370
00:16:45,212 --> 00:16:47,338
Hi, guys, thanks for coming.
371
00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:49,090
'Hello, sir.'
372
00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:51,343
Brothel inspector.
373
00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:55,096
- Get on the ground.
- Get on the ground.
374
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:56,264
- Right over there in the dirt.
- Down on the ground, man.
375
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:58,099
You know they sell these.
376
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,059
Yeah, they sell 'em in Harrah's.
377
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:03,938
They also sell "bikini
inspector, titty inspector."
378
00:17:03,939 --> 00:17:05,732
There's a [bleep] inspector, too?
379
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,283
I love the hummer.
380
00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:17,160
Alright, yeah, it gets
six miles to the gallon
381
00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:20,580
on the highway
and three miles around town.
382
00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:22,498
You know, the air conditioner
doesn't work so well
383
00:17:22,499 --> 00:17:25,918
and it's not very comfortable...
384
00:17:25,919 --> 00:17:28,129
But I just look so damn good
in it, you know what I mean?
385
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:29,297
- Keep your positives.
- Yeah.
386
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:31,466
{\an8}- Alright.
- Okay, looks alright.
387
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:33,760
{\an8}- On this side.
- You think we can fit?
388
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,970
{\an8}Before I try to back up,
are you sure?
389
00:17:35,971 --> 00:17:38,306
There's nowhere else to go,
so make it fit.
390
00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:40,016
No, I know, it can fit
on my side
391
00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:40,516
but I can't see on your side.
392
00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:42,935
It looks okay to me.
393
00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:45,104
Okay, a little to your right.
394
00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:46,147
Baa baa baa baa baa!
395
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:46,773
What? What?
396
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:48,274
You're about to hit the car!
397
00:17:48,275 --> 00:17:51,694
- And go backwards.
- Okay.
398
00:17:51,695 --> 00:17:55,031
And accelerate
and you're good...
399
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,824
Counter-clockwise,
counter-clockwise!
400
00:17:56,825 --> 00:17:59,035
Counter...
Counter!
401
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:00,953
Do you know what
counter-clockwise means?
402
00:18:00,954 --> 00:18:02,663
This is counter, right?
403
00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:04,457
Oh, I meant, actual clockwise.
404
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:05,833
Okay, sorry about that.
405
00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:08,878
Alright.
Now, stop, stop.
406
00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:10,713
Stop, stop.
Stop means stop!
407
00:18:10,714 --> 00:18:12,132
Stop means stop!
408
00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:16,177
This is as far as
I can open my door.
409
00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:29,524
Go! Let it all out!
Let it all out! Yeah!
410
00:18:30,692 --> 00:18:33,361
- Come on.
- Okay, stop.
411
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:35,988
Somebody's gotta get
the, uh, gate.
412
00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:37,240
Okay, I got it, I got it.
413
00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:41,869
- No, no, no, no!
- Whoa!
414
00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:43,538
Get out of the way,
get out of the way!
415
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:44,664
Look out! Go!
416
00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:45,706
'Watch out, Junior, watch out!'
417
00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:48,000
'Junior!'
418
00:18:48,001 --> 00:18:49,210
Oh, [bleep] [bleep]!
419
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:50,378
- 'Junior!'
- 'Junior!'
420
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:52,213
- 'Junior!'
- I'm good!
421
00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:53,298
'Look at that exhaust system!'
422
00:19:02,766 --> 00:19:05,644
Kahneh went down to get
the dna test results, so...
423
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,273
Any minute now.
424
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:10,399
Hey!
425
00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:30,377
So...
426
00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:34,088
You're not...
427
00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:35,381
You're not my dad.
428
00:19:35,382 --> 00:19:36,716
Wow!
429
00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:39,760
Hey! I mean...
430
00:19:39,761 --> 00:19:42,722
Oh, hey, Oh... Wow.
431
00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:44,265
It's okay, I'm sure
I'll find him.
432
00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:45,433
There's another Dangle in
Missouri I have to go check out.
433
00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:48,728
Oh, yeah,
but we're still homies.
434
00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:50,271
We're still gonna hang out.
435
00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:52,482
Homies still gotta have
a homie hat, yep.
436
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:56,861
No, that's not me.
437
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:59,614
- We've had so much fun.
- Yeah! We had... Oh, man!
438
00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:00,948
Coppin' and everything.
439
00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:02,909
Come on, man,
I'll take you out to sizzler
440
00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:03,951
not, not to celebrate.
441
00:20:03,952 --> 00:20:07,413
No, no, I, I'm sorry,
I can't.
442
00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:08,289
Actually, I should go get my
stuff 'cause there's...
443
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:11,250
Um...
444
00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:11,460
I'm gonna miss you.
445
00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:16,797
Okay, you can...
Okay...
446
00:20:16,798 --> 00:20:18,299
- Okay.
- Okay.
447
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,301
We're famous for our Wednesday
traffic around here.
448
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:22,679
- It's gonna be a log jam.
- Got a bike!
449
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:34,650
Kahneh...
450
00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:41,197
Do you have Jones'
e-mail or number
451
00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:44,784
'cause I really feel like
we connected and just...
452
00:20:44,785 --> 00:20:48,454
You know, I just want to
hang out with him, you know.
453
00:20:48,455 --> 00:20:50,331
If that's okay with you,
I mean...
454
00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:51,583
You're okay, right?
455
00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:56,170
- Yeah.
- Oh, I got the...
456
00:20:56,171 --> 00:20:56,921
That's cool.
457
00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:59,298
"Big foot."
Call him "big foot."
458
00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:01,384
That's funny.
459
00:21:12,479 --> 00:21:15,856
Against his own son,
Oh, no, he moves.
460
00:21:15,857 --> 00:21:18,859
He moves. Look out.
Look out.
461
00:21:18,860 --> 00:21:19,527
'Quite a dribble
you got there, dad.'
462
00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:21,445
Here I come. Look out.
463
00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:24,532
Here he comes. And...
464
00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:25,617
Oh, [bleep]!
In the neighbor's yard.
465
00:21:29,454 --> 00:21:30,705
'They're Korean'
466
00:21:30,706 --> 00:21:33,040
'and they're not very nice.'
467
00:21:33,041 --> 00:21:34,750
Well, uh, who cares?
468
00:21:34,751 --> 00:21:36,711
- I got it, I got it.
- You sure?
469
00:21:36,712 --> 00:21:38,714
Mrs. Ng?
33969
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