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1
00:00:06,005 --> 00:00:07,464
Uh, we're out here
in the parking lot.
2
00:00:07,465 --> 00:00:09,216
Uh, myself
and Deputy Travis Jr.
3
00:00:09,217 --> 00:00:12,886
to demonstrate the latest
in lower body protection wear.
4
00:00:12,887 --> 00:00:15,556
Uh, of course, we're covered up
here with our Kevlar vest
5
00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:18,225
and instead of, uh,
the traditional plastic cup
6
00:00:18,226 --> 00:00:20,144
this year,
the department has issued
7
00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:24,565
a brand-new, state-of-the-art,
uh, alloy-framed cup
8
00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:25,649
with a Kevlar coating.
9
00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:28,819
You're wearin' this thing
and it could stop a bullet
10
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,112
it could stop a train,
a human bite, a dog bite.
11
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:32,614
I mean, it is... Watch this.
12
00:00:32,615 --> 00:00:35,659
Aah! Aah!
13
00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:38,287
I'm not wearin' it, jackass!
14
00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:40,456
- I thought you...
- It's in my hand!
15
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:42,291
But didn't you have it...
16
00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:46,253
Oh!
17
00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:55,054
screech
18
00:00:57,348 --> 00:00:59,642
{\an8}Go, go, go!
19
00:01:16,701 --> 00:01:18,369
{\an8}Oh! Oh! Oh!
20
00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:34,009
{\an8}Finally, last order
of business today
21
00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:38,138
{\an8}the answer is jalapeno poppers
22
00:01:38,139 --> 00:01:40,057
{\an8}'mescal shots'
23
00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:43,227
and the no frijoles barred
taco bar
24
00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:45,855
at Tacos! Tacos! Tacos! Tacos!
tonight.
25
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:48,483
What's the question?
26
00:01:51,402 --> 00:01:52,445
What?
27
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:55,906
Happy birthday, Garcia!
28
00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:58,200
- It's your birthday!
- Wooh!
29
00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,495
- 'Thank you, thank you.'
- Big 7-5, huh?
30
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:03,997
Gettin' old,
no, no, no.
31
00:02:03,998 --> 00:02:05,332
Save a dance for me, now.
32
00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:09,545
I would save a dance for you
and that sounds like fun
33
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:13,841
but I have, uh, some plans
of my own for my birthday.
34
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:19,221
Okay, so we'll get there
a little bit early
35
00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:22,224
'cause they gotta, they gotta
get the jalapeno poppers up.
36
00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:25,394
Uh, you know, I appreciate it,
but, uh, just seriously
37
00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:29,439
this year, eh, you know,
I've got...
38
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:30,899
Hey, rain check.
39
00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,109
We not gonna beg you.
40
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:35,445
Oh, no, no, we'll, uh,
we'll do it, uh
41
00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:36,780
my next one...
42
00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:38,115
'No way.'
43
00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:39,283
- Thank you.
- 'Yeah.'
44
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:40,742
- I'm gonna...
- 'Yeah.'
45
00:02:40,743 --> 00:02:42,036
Okay.
46
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:45,622
He's got plans?
What?
47
00:02:45,623 --> 00:02:46,415
Uh, yeah, he got a date
with Britney Murphy.
48
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:47,416
- 'Yeah, yeah, I'm sure.'
- What? No
49
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:48,458
No, he doesn't have plans.
50
00:02:48,459 --> 00:02:51,086
He's gonna jack
and watch old
51
00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:52,296
Hill Street Blues episodes.
52
00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:54,715
That's what he does,
and he's gonna sob.
53
00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:55,757
He wrote somethin'
on his page.
54
00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:57,926
He wrote, uh,
happy birthday to me
55
00:02:57,927 --> 00:03:01,054
with kind of a picture
of a little octoroon.
56
00:03:01,055 --> 00:03:02,598
'That's supposed to be me.'
57
00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:04,266
I drew a picture of a hamburger
with a sad face
58
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:08,103
and no one saw it
as me crying for help.
59
00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:17,321
{\an8}- Sheriff's department!
- Sheriff's department!
60
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:18,322
Frisbee!
61
00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:20,782
'Chandler, Ross, Joey'
62
00:03:20,783 --> 00:03:23,118
'Oliver, Greg,
get in the house!'
63
00:03:23,119 --> 00:03:24,286
'Get in the house!'
64
00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:26,538
'How are we doin' today?
How are we doin'?'
65
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:29,458
We got a call down there
at the department
66
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:32,127
uh, some, uh, aircraft
67
00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:34,463
takin' off from, uh,
Reno airport's been receivin'
68
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:37,841
some, uh, fire,
some, uh, bullet rounds.
69
00:03:37,842 --> 00:03:39,593
'What airline was it?'
70
00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:40,470
Uh...
71
00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:44,473
Doesn't really matter, Frisbee,
honestly...
72
00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:46,975
I don't shoot at airlines.
Alien aircraft.
73
00:03:46,976 --> 00:03:47,851
'You only shoot at
alien aircraft?'
74
00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:50,437
What I think is alien aircraft,
ET stuff.
75
00:03:50,438 --> 00:03:52,522
Uh-huh, how would you
distinguish that
76
00:03:52,523 --> 00:03:55,025
from regular aircraft?
77
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:56,777
It's got aliens in it.
78
00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:59,821
What if you start
spirits, uh, aircraft?
79
00:03:59,822 --> 00:04:02,491
What if they were just, you
know, doin', a little, uh
80
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,368
drive by and you start, uh,
takin' shots at 'em
81
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:07,162
'and suddenly, holy [beep]'
82
00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:09,831
we just took a first shot
at an alien spacecraft?
83
00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:11,458
That's a good question.
What's your name?
84
00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:12,459
- 'Travis, Travis Jr.'
- Travis.
85
00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:14,503
Travis, that's a good question.
86
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:15,921
Thank you.
87
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:18,340
- I like your look.
- I like your, uh, lifestyle.
88
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:19,841
'Thanks a lot.'
89
00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:24,346
Got a nice house, got a good,
good wife, second cousin.
90
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:26,306
- 'How you doin', ma'am?'
- Hi, I'm good, thanks.
91
00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:29,184
If we were to look,
say, for example
92
00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:30,852
'in that bunker
that you covered with tarp'
93
00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:32,187
'right before we came over...'
94
00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:33,689
I ain't been in there
for so long
95
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:35,148
I have not,
I haven't been over there--
96
00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:37,067
You never make it
to this corner of the yard.
97
00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:39,695
- That's not even ours.
- This is not yours?
98
00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:42,030
- Oh... Honey, is that ours?
- Shut up!
99
00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:43,365
- I'm sorry.
- 'Oh.'
100
00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:46,702
- Oh, ho ho ho ho!
- Oh, my lord!
101
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:52,332
'Wow! Oh, Frisbee!'
102
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:53,917
'Yeah, I got this
at a yard sale.'
103
00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:56,086
What? [beep].
I never find [beep].
104
00:04:56,087 --> 00:04:57,045
'You got a bargain too.'
105
00:04:57,046 --> 00:04:58,672
You're just shootin'
at these cans right there?
106
00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:00,048
'That and the oranges.'
107
00:05:00,049 --> 00:05:02,259
- Alright, so just cock her up.
- 'Just hug up to it.'
108
00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:04,052
Alright, put the hand
underneath. Here we go.
109
00:05:04,053 --> 00:05:05,012
- Whoo-hoo!
- Feed and bleed!
110
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:06,596
- Alright, here we go.
- Let it feed and bleed!
111
00:05:08,766 --> 00:05:11,060
- 'Oh!'
- 'That's it!'
112
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,698
That was pretty [beep] cool.
113
00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:29,077
- Can I do it next?
- Sure, go ahead.
114
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:38,253
{\an8}Yes, I'm 90% sure
my house is haunted.
115
00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:39,588
{\an8}- 'Hey, there, Kimball!'
- Ey, how ya doin'?
116
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:42,549
Turns out a guy killed himself
in the back of my garage.
117
00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:45,427
'His name was Timmy.'
118
00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:48,472
- Hey, poppy! Oh, my gosh!
- Good to see you.
119
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:51,433
- Get out, let me look at you.
- Just look at you!
120
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:54,061
- Oh.
- Let me just turn you around.
121
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:56,605
- Oh. Look at me.
- Wooh!
122
00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:57,939
- You are... Oh!
- You like them?
123
00:05:57,940 --> 00:05:59,941
- I just got them.
- Put out the fire!
124
00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:03,403
- Woo-hoo!
- Put out the fire.
125
00:06:03,404 --> 00:06:04,654
He has a secret girlfriend.
126
00:06:04,655 --> 00:06:05,906
Oh, you like that.
127
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:08,158
- I like when you like that.
- Muah!
128
00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:10,243
- I made arroz con pollo.
- Chicken and rice?
129
00:06:10,244 --> 00:06:11,953
- I did, I did.
- 'Oh, good!'
130
00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:13,455
Who is that lady,
why is he hiding her?
131
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:14,915
'He blew us off.'
132
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,917
Why does he have
a secret lady?
133
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:17,834
Who's the secret lady?
134
00:06:17,835 --> 00:06:18,627
'Cause there's somethin' wrong
with her.
135
00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:21,797
- Obviously.
- 'Obviously.'
136
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,632
- That's a dude.
- Think it's a dude?
137
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:26,301
- Let's find out what we can.
- I'm dumbfounded.
138
00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:33,850
{\an8}I haven't met
Garcia's girlfriend.
139
00:06:33,851 --> 00:06:36,436
{\an8}I don't think anybody has
140
00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:40,315
{\an8}but my feeling is anyone
that keeps...
141
00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:42,692
...that keeps him busy and keeps
him from jerking
142
00:06:42,693 --> 00:06:44,737
in the evidence locker
is a good thing.
143
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:49,659
{\an8}- That little...
- Mexican!
144
00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:54,955
{\an8}That little Mexican...
145
00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:56,957
{\an8}...jumping bean...
146
00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:59,668
To be hiding like this...
147
00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:02,838
...seemingly
normal-looking woman
148
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:04,089
that is weird.
149
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:07,551
That is weird, 'cause remember
that fat chick he was dating?
150
00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:10,512
He strutted her around
like his prized piglet.
151
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:15,142
{\an8}222, Virginia, right here.
152
00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:16,726
{\an8}There they are. Let's go.
153
00:07:16,727 --> 00:07:18,854
{\an8}'Stealth mode, stealth mode.'
154
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:19,980
{\an8}'What's that mean,
like duckin'?'
155
00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:23,024
{\an8}Yes. Duck.
Stealth mode means duck.
156
00:07:23,025 --> 00:07:23,900
Okay. Okay, gang.
157
00:07:23,901 --> 00:07:25,569
My God. Look.
Look, look, look, look.
158
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:28,029
'Look what they doin'.'
159
00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:30,031
- 'Oh, come on!'
- 'Oh, look.'
160
00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:31,700
- 'That's a wedding cake?'
- 'A wedding cake.'
161
00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:33,034
'That's a wedding cake.'
162
00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:34,870
'Two tiers, two tiers,
mother[beep].'
163
00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:36,538
He's marryin' that woman?
164
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:38,915
She's marryin' him?
That's the question.
165
00:07:38,916 --> 00:07:41,209
Have you been runnin' stats
on this skank all morning?
166
00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:43,712
- Yep.
- Nothin'.
167
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,672
Not escaped
from a mental institution
168
00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:47,757
no prior arrests, clean credit.
169
00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:48,800
Morning, people! Wow!
170
00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:52,929
What a surprise to see you
all here where I am!
171
00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:56,349
How did that happen, Dangle?
Huh?
172
00:07:56,350 --> 00:07:58,727
Let's go see what Garcia's
doin'
today on his day off
173
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:01,730
'cause we don't have
work to do!
174
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:05,775
No! We gotta
follow Garcia around!
175
00:08:05,776 --> 00:08:08,737
- Oh, my goodness!
- 'This is Maria.'
176
00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:10,906
Is this a surprise?
177
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:13,575
- 'Surprise.'
- Oh!
178
00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,368
- Oh, my God!
- Yes, honey.
179
00:08:15,369 --> 00:08:17,746
Hello! Oh, my goodness!
180
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:21,416
Welcome to the family!
181
00:08:21,417 --> 00:08:22,459
This is Maria.
Fun surprise.
182
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:24,920
Please tell me you all
are coming to the wedding.
183
00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:27,589
Please tell me yes...
184
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,716
We didn't get an invitation.
185
00:08:29,717 --> 00:08:32,594
We don't have a date yet.
We don't have a date.
186
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:34,596
No need to send out invitations
or let anybody know yet.
187
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:36,890
Listen, I already
picked out the cake.
188
00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:38,433
You did it without me.
Good for you.
189
00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:39,392
We're gonna get the invitations
190
00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:43,104
and all you guys,
please be there, okay? Muah!
191
00:08:43,105 --> 00:08:46,358
I love you guys! I love you.
I'll go get the car, okay?
192
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:50,111
Hey, she's wonderful.
Why are you embarrassed of her?
193
00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:52,948
I'm not embarrassed of her,
I'm embarrassed of you.
194
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:53,907
'I work with seven trolls!'
195
00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:57,869
Snow White and the seven idiots!
Look at y'all!
196
00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:58,954
Well, you would think that
197
00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:00,747
you would just
shut up right now!
198
00:09:00,748 --> 00:09:02,958
I'm sick of it!
199
00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:06,253
Have a good day... spyin'!
200
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:07,837
Come on, poppy!
201
00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:09,631
Bye!
202
00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:12,677
- Bye.
- Nice finally meetin' ya.
203
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:19,725
- I feel like [beep].
- Yeah.
204
00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:23,853
We should still
follow him, right?
205
00:09:23,854 --> 00:09:25,105
I got one of her hairs.
206
00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:27,148
I got one of hairs
when she hugged me.
207
00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:29,192
'Wait, wait, you guys,
go in there, find out'
208
00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:30,777
where they're deliverin'
the cake to.
209
00:09:30,778 --> 00:09:32,654
- Buy some hats if you got to!
- Come on. Let's go!
210
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,531
- Every thirty minutes.
- 'Move!'
211
00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:44,374
We take you now live
for a statement
212
00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:46,961
from a representative for
the Reno Sheriff's Department.
213
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:50,840
I'm nervous. I never done
one of these before.
214
00:09:52,883 --> 00:09:56,428
I mean, they tell you when
215
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:59,014
like, they say action
or somethin', right?
216
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,140
{\an8}What?
217
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:02,143
Do they say action
when you're on?
218
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:05,687
{\an8}Yeah, you're supposed
to hear somethin'.
219
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:08,690
{\an8}Do... I have a booger?
220
00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:10,359
A little bit of one.
221
00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:19,451
{\an8}Hey...
222
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,328
{\an8}Can you do me a favor?
223
00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:23,705
{\an8}Can you see, uh,
can you see my pad?
224
00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:27,375
{\an8}I can totally
see your pad.
225
00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:30,545
{\an8}It's like way,
it's like way up here.
226
00:10:30,546 --> 00:10:32,172
{\an8}You're supposed to
put it in the front.
227
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,715
'Hey! You're on the air!'
228
00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:36,593
- It looks like...
- 'You're on the air.'
229
00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:38,219
{\an8}Well, wait, I can't
tell if that's your pad
230
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:39,262
{\an8}or the seam
of your pants.
231
00:10:39,263 --> 00:10:40,305
{\an8}Hello.
232
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:47,604
{\an8}'Got a call that somebody's been
givin', uh, tug jobs'
233
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:48,730
{\an8}'here in the restroom'
234
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:52,859
{\an8}'of Tacos! Tacos! Tacos! Tacos!
235
00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:55,236
- Sheriff's department!
- Sheriff's department!
236
00:10:55,237 --> 00:10:58,365
'What? Hello?'
237
00:10:58,366 --> 00:10:59,783
- Is that you, Terry?
- Terry?
238
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:01,534
'Yes, it's me, I have diarrhea!
It's bad!'
239
00:11:01,535 --> 00:11:03,578
Get out of the bathroom, Terry!
Get on outta here!
240
00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:05,288
'I have bad diarrhea.'
241
00:11:05,289 --> 00:11:07,333
You alone in there, Terry?
242
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:10,960
Alright. Stop.
243
00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:11,920
Shh!
244
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:14,089
- Who were you shushing?
- What?
245
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,590
- Who were you shushing?
- Nobody. I didn't shush.
246
00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:17,217
Have you been givin'
tug jobs in the bathroom?
247
00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:18,093
No! Why would I do that?
248
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:20,261
I would never do
something like that.
249
00:11:20,262 --> 00:11:21,930
First of all,
I have a girlfriend
250
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,890
who I love very much.
251
00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:26,935
- Her name is...
- Michelle.
252
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:29,437
Michelle?
What's she look like?
253
00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:31,648
- She's, uh, super-tall.
- Uh-huh.
254
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:34,067
- And she's got... sweet boobs.
- How tall?
255
00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:35,110
Uh-huh.
256
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:36,778
I always knew you were a sweet
booby man, Terry.
257
00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:39,572
- I put my wiener on 'em.
- Yeah?
258
00:11:39,573 --> 00:11:41,157
- Yep. That's true.
- You did?
259
00:11:41,158 --> 00:11:45,453
Terry, the good people here
at Tacos! Tacos! Tacos! Tacos!
260
00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:47,122
have agreed to...
261
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,373
- Sh-sh.
- okay, sir...
262
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:50,667
I don't... Who's that?
263
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:51,793
- Who is that?
- Come on, come here.
264
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:53,503
'Who are you? Oh, my God!'
265
00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:55,964
'Stay where you are,
stay where you are.'
266
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:58,758
- Who is that guy?
- Keep talkin', Terry.
267
00:11:58,759 --> 00:12:01,010
- You've never seen him before?
- I've never seen him before.
268
00:12:01,011 --> 00:12:04,305
- What the [beep], Terry?
- What?
269
00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:05,056
These are good people
at Tacos! Tacos! Tacos! Tacos!
270
00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:07,058
I didn't know!
271
00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:09,602
They did not
have to take a felon!
272
00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:10,937
- That's what I said.
- I'm not...
273
00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:14,441
Oh, the drama.
The [beep] drama!
274
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:18,778
We're not goin'
with the waterworks.
275
00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:20,280
- Stay where you are.
- Stay where you are.
276
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:22,782
gonna talk to this
to son of a bitch.
277
00:12:22,783 --> 00:12:26,494
Terry, Terry,
you had a chance to start over.
278
00:12:26,495 --> 00:12:30,332
Not a lot of people get a chance
to start over, but you got...
279
00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:33,042
What?
280
00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:35,128
- What?
- Two dollars a tug job.
281
00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:36,838
Terry, two dollars?
282
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:39,966
'Terry, I'd like to
direct your attention.'
283
00:12:39,967 --> 00:12:42,302
"The burger special...
The Tacos, Tacos, Tacos
284
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:45,138
burger special, 4-0-9!"
285
00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:46,139
First of all
286
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:49,058
a tug job doesn't come
with fries or a soda.
287
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:58,401
{\an8}- Open up, ladies!
- 'Aah!'
288
00:12:58,402 --> 00:13:01,863
{\an8}- I ordered a male.
- You got me, huh?
289
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:03,031
Back up, blondie.
290
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:07,785
Ladies, you bein'
way too loud, alright?
291
00:13:07,786 --> 00:13:09,496
All this hollerin'
and screamin'
292
00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:11,039
and carryin' on...
You the bride?
293
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,834
''Cause you gettin' married.'
294
00:13:14,835 --> 00:13:15,919
That's nothin' to celebrate.
295
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:19,672
Let me tell you somethin',
honey, I been where you at.
296
00:13:19,673 --> 00:13:20,298
I been where you at.
297
00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:22,383
All wantin' to get married.
298
00:13:22,384 --> 00:13:24,052
All tryin' to have a man.
299
00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:27,555
Skinny! Girl, I used to,
could hula hoop with a cheerio!
300
00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:31,434
One husband and four babies
later, what? Bam!
301
00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:35,563
Look at it!
This is your destiny!
302
00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:38,733
'I sit on your
destiny every day.'
303
00:13:38,734 --> 00:13:41,236
Y'all don't even want me
to unbutton my shirt
304
00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:42,737
and show you my stomach.
305
00:13:42,738 --> 00:13:44,864
Where them stretch marks
all ran across
306
00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:47,450
so they look like
railroad tracks!
307
00:13:47,451 --> 00:13:49,244
Congratulations, girl!
308
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:50,078
Whoo-whoo-whoo!
309
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:51,955
Come on, Joe.
310
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:54,123
Have a good time, ladies!
311
00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:56,543
Don't drink too much!
312
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,088
Somebody had to do it.
313
00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:03,508
I walk in the truth.
314
00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:08,930
{\an8}I love roller skating.
We gotta do it again.
315
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:09,764
{\an8}- Let's do it again.
- Okay!
316
00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:10,932
{\an8}- Okay, I love you.
- I love you.
317
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:11,975
{\an8}- Be careful, okay?
- Okay.
318
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,101
{\an8}- Mwah!
- Mwah!
319
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,102
{\an8}- Okay.
- Have a good night's sleep.
320
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:15,562
{\an8}- Okay?
- I will.
321
00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:17,272
{\an8}- 'Tomorrow, breakfast?'
- You be good, now.
322
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:18,606
- 'Okay.'
- Tomorrow, breakfast.
323
00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:27,574
Damn, girl, you lookin' fine!
324
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:28,408
I brought you something.
325
00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:31,494
Oh, my God,
they're so beautiful.
326
00:14:31,495 --> 00:14:32,620
Oh, I missed you.
327
00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:33,663
That's what I thought.
328
00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:35,957
My gosh, I've been
thinking about you all night.
329
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,458
Where do you want to
go tonight?
330
00:14:37,459 --> 00:14:40,420
Wherever you want to
take me, papi.
331
00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:41,963
"Wherever you want to
take me, papi?"
332
00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:42,797
- You hear that?
- .
333
00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:43,798
Tail him. Tail him.
334
00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:55,268
You must be out shopping
getting ready to celebrate
335
00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:56,394
New Year's Eve, I'll bet.
336
00:14:56,395 --> 00:15:00,148
I've been running around
like crazy buying champagne
337
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:04,819
caviar, and lots
and lots of ammunition
338
00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:07,155
to shoot my guns
in the air
339
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:09,949
when that clock
hits midnight.
340
00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:11,826
Sounds like fun.
341
00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:14,162
But why don't you,
do like me and Wayne
342
00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:16,497
and switch to Police Tek?
343
00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:20,668
Two thousand blanks
instead of bullets?
344
00:15:20,669 --> 00:15:22,670
Blanks, huh?
Well last year
345
00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:26,966
one of the guys at my
party did get killed.
346
00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:28,176
Maybe you're right.
347
00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:31,888
I think I will switch
to Police Tek 2000.
348
00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:34,015
{\an8}New year's Eve blanks.
349
00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:39,729
{\an8}Happy new year, Ron!
350
00:15:42,816 --> 00:15:45,526
{\an8}Easy, easy.
351
00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:48,196
{\an8}Stay back, stay back, stay back.
352
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:51,240
{\an8}- 'She's gettin' off.'
- I'm so sore! Ha-ha-ha.
353
00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:54,494
{\an8}Ohh! You wear me out.
354
00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:56,704
- 'I'll bet you he does.'
- 'Yeah, well...'
355
00:15:56,705 --> 00:16:00,708
I love to ride with you,
you know that?
356
00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:02,168
'Man, this would kill...'
357
00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:03,211
Let's just shoot him
right now.
358
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:05,588
No, no, no.
We can't shoot him right now.
359
00:16:05,589 --> 00:16:06,799
We can't shoot him
right here.
360
00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:11,261
She's movin'?
361
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:14,389
Move, son of a bitch.
362
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:16,557
- Let's go.
- Ready? Hit it.
363
00:16:16,558 --> 00:16:17,767
There we go.
364
00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:19,185
- Alright.
- Yep.
365
00:16:19,186 --> 00:16:22,063
'Pull it in the alley.'
366
00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:22,980
'Yeah, you on the bike.'
367
00:16:22,981 --> 00:16:24,857
Need you to make that turn
into the south
368
00:16:24,858 --> 00:16:26,276
'and I need you to pull over.'
369
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:30,196
- How you doin' tonight, sir?
- Okay.
370
00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:33,616
- Where's the fire, casanova?
- I don't do nothing--
371
00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:36,369
- I-I driving--
- Who's the girl?
372
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:38,413
- The girl!
- Maria! That's my girlfriend.
373
00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:39,455
- Oh!
- Your girlfriend?
374
00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:40,248
- Yes!
- Wrong!
375
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:43,418
Maria's already
got a man, bucko!
376
00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:44,919
- No, she doesn't.
- Yes, she do!
377
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,963
And he is one
of our very best friends!
378
00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,631
- Are you sure?
- 'You got a driver's license?'
379
00:16:48,632 --> 00:16:50,258
- Of course.
- Yeah.
380
00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:52,593
Amigo, I have,
I have license.
381
00:16:52,594 --> 00:16:53,761
Double time, Julio!
382
00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:54,429
Who said you could
put your hands down?
383
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:57,181
- 'Hands up!'
- Sorry.
384
00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:59,392
- Huh.
- Legal, see?
385
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:01,269
Maybe you didn't hear me,
but I asked
386
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:03,229
for your driver's license.
387
00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:07,275
- Where's your driver's license?
- Oh! Two points!
388
00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:09,193
Oh, my, Goodness!
389
00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:11,195
Why you hit my bike, man?
390
00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:12,405
Missin' your
taillight back there.
391
00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:14,323
You stay away from Maria!
392
00:17:14,324 --> 00:17:15,950
I don't want to see you
in Reno!
393
00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:17,160
I don't even want to see you
in Nevada, you hear me?
394
00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:18,369
- Okay!
- Huh?
395
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:20,413
- Yeah, yeah!
- You hear now, don't ya?
396
00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:22,165
- California's that way!
- Get goin'!
397
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:23,458
- Amigo!
- Get goin'!
398
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:25,585
- Go.
- Get goin'!
399
00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:27,962
Get goin'!
400
00:17:27,963 --> 00:17:30,757
'We're gonna fill
your pendejo ass with lead!'
401
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:32,175
That was really good!
402
00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:33,801
Really good, guys, really good.
403
00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:36,012
- You scary sons of bitches!
- Good work, good work.
404
00:17:36,013 --> 00:17:38,097
Like, my adrenaline
is all going and everything.
405
00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:39,140
- That was great.
- Oh, wow.
406
00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:40,266
Oh, man.
407
00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:42,185
I feel good that
we did that for Garcia.
408
00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:44,687
I still missed.
409
00:17:44,688 --> 00:17:47,690
We'll never tell him.
Never tell Garcia, okay?
410
00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:49,484
No, no, it's better if
he just doesn't know.
411
00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:52,028
- Better if he doesn't know.
- 'Yeah, it'll break his
heart.'
412
00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:53,196
- 'I feel wonderful.'
- 'Good work.'
413
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:54,322
'I feel like a--'
414
00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:55,323
We did a good thing,
for a change.
415
00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:57,867
She is the best thing
that ever happened to him
416
00:17:57,868 --> 00:17:58,367
and she's still happenin'.
417
00:17:58,368 --> 00:18:00,328
Nice work, fellas.
418
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:04,165
I feel like, I feel like
Mary Poppins or somethin'.
419
00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:15,968
{\an8}Oh, Craig, these conjugal
visits are so wonderful.
420
00:18:15,969 --> 00:18:18,221
- This hurt?
- Yeah, a little bit.
421
00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:20,515
Ow.
422
00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:22,934
You seem, you seem
a little uptight today.
423
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,519
Are you nervous
about something?
424
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:27,396
I just feel a little bit
awkward with him here.
425
00:18:27,397 --> 00:18:31,359
Oh, no, don't worry about...
No, this is Car-wash.
426
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,194
Everyone calls him Carwash.
427
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:35,071
I'm not sure
what his real name is
428
00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:38,199
but, uh, he's totally
cool with this.
429
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,952
- I understand.
- I mean, this...
430
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:42,245
No, it's fine.
I mean, it's...
431
00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:43,371
Let me talk to him.
432
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,706
Okay.
433
00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:49,919
Listen, the old ball
and-chain here is...
434
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,379
She's a little
uncomfortable with this.
435
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:53,256
Maybe if you just sort of
436
00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:57,009
you know, just look in that
direction a little bit
437
00:18:57,010 --> 00:18:58,678
just don't make it
too obvious.
438
00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:00,638
Okay, I can hear you.
439
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:02,473
Well, just so you know,
just to warn you in advance
440
00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:06,519
I have a rash,
so it's gonna look weird
441
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:09,313
but it's not anything
to be alarmed about.
442
00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:11,566
- Alright?
- I'm cool.
443
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:13,901
- Could you point that at us?
- No, I'm not gonna do that.
444
00:19:13,902 --> 00:19:15,403
- That's...
- Okay. You know checkin'...
445
00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:16,571
That's not professional.
446
00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:17,905
- Yeah.
- That's all.
447
00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:20,283
Add a little spice to it.
448
00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:23,244
We can't hit you with
this, right? Cause--
449
00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:26,080
- Absolutely not.
- Okay, that's understandable.
450
00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:40,595
So try to print a little neater
on the evidence bags, okay?
451
00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:41,429
It was three hours,
three hours I spent
452
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:42,430
trying to figure out what
453
00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:46,434
"Public dander" would be.
454
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:47,935
"Pubic dander" is what it was.
455
00:19:47,936 --> 00:19:49,395
Write legibly
on the envelopes.
456
00:19:49,396 --> 00:19:50,605
Pubic hair has dander?
457
00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:53,316
It saves me
a lot of time, okay?
458
00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:54,734
No wonder my allergies
are so bad.
459
00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:57,403
Hey, good mornin'.
You're late.
460
00:19:57,404 --> 00:19:58,779
What's the matter?
461
00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:01,574
Oh, it's just been
a long night.
462
00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:04,619
The reason why I'm late...
463
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:08,080
is I have been up all night.
464
00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:10,291
My sister Maria
465
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:12,460
'whom you all met yesterday'
466
00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:19,133
'is no longer going to be
getting married.'
467
00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:21,677
Her fiance suddenly
468
00:20:21,678 --> 00:20:24,430
decided to leave town
469
00:20:24,431 --> 00:20:27,559
without notice
or phone call...
470
00:20:28,435 --> 00:20:30,978
He's gone.
471
00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:35,816
She is completely devastated,
as am I.
472
00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:39,820
And if it's okay,
I would like to request
473
00:20:39,821 --> 00:20:40,738
a little time to go
and spend with her.
474
00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:42,448
I'm a little worried,
because she's...
475
00:20:42,449 --> 00:20:43,867
- 'Yeah.'
- Yeah, go ahead.
476
00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:49,456
- I'll call in.
- 'Don't worry about it.'
477
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:57,672
I kind of feel
like this
478
00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:59,383
is a little bit our fault.
479
00:21:00,968 --> 00:21:02,009
No.
480
00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:02,760
Actually, I don't blame myself.
481
00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:05,346
- I blame you.
- You blame me?
482
00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:06,431
Yeah.
483
00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:16,649
They can hear you in
the detective division upstairs.
484
00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:18,526
- Only if you do it loud.
- 'Loud.'
485
00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:20,569
Loud and angry.
486
00:21:20,570 --> 00:21:24,824
I'm-I'm sorry, this is,
the people who heard
487
00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:26,534
and have it guessed
as to who it is
488
00:21:26,535 --> 00:21:28,244
is the detective division.
489
00:21:28,245 --> 00:21:29,996
Do they have hard evidence?
490
00:21:29,997 --> 00:21:31,414
- I don't think so.
- You're thinkin' soft evidence.
491
00:21:31,415 --> 00:21:33,541
I think it's only
about an inch of evidence.
492
00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:36,585
Yes, it's uncircumsta...
Ah, [bleep] it.
493
00:21:36,586 --> 00:21:37,753
Substantial. Never mind.
494
00:21:37,754 --> 00:21:38,547
- 'Stop jackin' [bleep].'
- It ain't me.
36267
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