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1
00:00:07,924 --> 00:00:09,925
HE WORKED HERE FOR A WHILE,
BUT HE'S NOT...
2
00:00:09,926 --> 00:00:11,760
THEY'RE COMING
TO PICK THIS UP.
3
00:00:11,761 --> 00:00:13,595
WATCH IT LIKE HAWKS,
PLEASE.
4
00:00:13,596 --> 00:00:15,473
DON'T OPEN IT.
5
00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:26,650
HOT BROWNIES.
6
00:00:26,651 --> 00:00:27,317
NO, NO.
7
00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:29,278
OKAY, HE'S NOT
OUT THERE.
8
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:33,490
I BET IT'S THEM COUNTERFEIT
PHONE-CARDS THEY GOT.
9
00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:41,875
{\an8}WHOO!
{\an8}COME HERE!
10
00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:47,422
{\an8}OH! AHH!
11
00:00:50,049 --> 00:00:50,341
{\an8}OH-AH! OH!
12
00:01:30,298 --> 00:01:33,008
{\an8}FREE DRINKS FOR
LAW ENFORCEMENT IS A...
13
00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:34,384
THAT'S A DANGEROUS IDEA.
14
00:01:34,385 --> 00:01:37,805
IT'S NOT EVERY NIGHT,
IS IT AT THAT PLACE?
15
00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:38,388
TUESDAYS.
16
00:01:40,558 --> 00:01:41,391
GUINNESS AND BAILEY'S--
CAR BOMBS.
17
00:01:41,392 --> 00:01:45,687
OH, DEAR LORD,
WERE THEY GOOD.
18
00:01:45,688 --> 00:01:48,065
MORNING, SUNSHINE.
19
00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:50,234
CAN WE TURN OFF SOME OF
THE LIGHTS IN HERE, PLEASE?
20
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:55,364
DID EVERYBODY SEE GARCIA
ALL UP ON JOHNSON?
21
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:56,740
OOH!
22
00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:59,535
LIKE A LITTLE KOALA BEAR.
23
00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:02,246
ON BEHALF OF THE MALE HALF
OF THE DEPARTMENT,
24
00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:04,456
I APOLOGIZE
FOR GARCIA.
25
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:08,377
YOU KNOW THAT OLD-MAN
PERSEVERANCE...
26
00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:10,629
HERE'S THE HORNY TOAD
HIMSELF.
27
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:13,215
WHAT'S UP,
HEARTACHE?
28
00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:14,383
I SAW AN "AMERICA'S
MOST WANTED" LAST NIGHT
29
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:17,010
THAT I'D NEVER SEEN BEFORE,
30
00:02:17,011 --> 00:02:18,429
SO IT WAS ACTUALLY GOOD
THAT I'D STAYED HOME.
31
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:24,226
THE FIRST THING ON THE
AGENDA-- BUILDING OPERATIONS.
32
00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:26,854
THE MEMO IS SPINNING, I'M GONNA
SET IT DOWN FOR A SECOND.
33
00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:29,064
EXCUSE ME.
34
00:02:29,065 --> 00:02:32,192
WHY ARE YOU WEARING
GARCIA'S SHIRT?
35
00:02:32,193 --> 00:02:34,194
HOO-HOO!
36
00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,948
OOH!
37
00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:39,366
OH, WHAT DID YOU DO?
38
00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:41,910
WHAT DO YOU THINK WE DID?
39
00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:44,288
CLEMMY TOOK A LITTLE
MOUSTACHE RIDE THIS MORNING.
40
00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:45,914
OH...
41
00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:46,790
OHH!
42
00:02:46,791 --> 00:02:49,293
DID YOU SEE THAT?
I'LL DO IT AGAIN.
43
00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:51,420
I'LL DO IT AGAIN, SEE?
44
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:52,796
GO CHANGE SHIRTS.
45
00:02:52,797 --> 00:02:54,966
STOP KISSING
AND GO CHANGE SHIRTS.
46
00:03:01,180 --> 00:03:03,432
WHAT JUST
HAPPENED THERE?
47
00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:06,894
SOMEBODY, YOU DROPPED
A POT OR SOMETHING!
48
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:09,354
A NICE, POTTED PLANT
FELL DOWN HERE.
49
00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:12,399
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE
TO DRAG ME OUT OF HERE,
50
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,151
YOU COPS!
51
00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:16,445
...FOR ALL THESE YEARS
FOR
52
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:20,657
I'M NOT LEAVING
SO SOME DEVELOPERS...
53
00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:23,327
JUST CALM DOWN, MRS.--
HEY
54
00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:26,872
...TO THE REAL CRIMINALS!
I AM NOT GOING!
55
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:29,291
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE
TO DRAG ME OUT!
56
00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:31,293
WE'VE ONLY COME
TO EVICT YOU!
57
00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:35,797
I HOPE I HIT ONE OF YOU,
YOU SONS OF BITCHES.
58
00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:37,132
OH, INCOMING!
59
00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:38,759
YIKES!
60
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,969
INCOMING!
61
00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:43,931
SOONER OR LATER, YOU'RE GOING
TO RUN OUT OF PLANTS!
62
00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:45,349
HEY, HEADS UP!
63
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:46,516
OH!
64
00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:47,976
GOD!
65
00:03:47,977 --> 00:03:49,353
IN-- LOOK OUT!
66
00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:52,981
NO WAY!
AND I'M GOING TO--
67
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:56,318
YOU'RE HEADED FOR CLUB FED,
BITCH, YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?
68
00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,403
OH, THAT'S IT!
THAT'S IT, BITCH!
69
00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:01,073
TAKE HER OUT.
70
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,660
OH, GOT HER
ON THE BOUNCE!
YEAH!
71
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:29,351
{\an8}GARCIA IS LIKE THE LITTLE
MEXICAN THAT COULD, YOU KNOW?
72
00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:32,270
HE'S BEEN TRYING AND TRYING
AND TRYING TO MOUNT THAT WOMAN,
73
00:04:32,271 --> 00:04:33,855
AND HE FINALLY
GOT OVER THE TOP.
74
00:04:33,856 --> 00:04:35,357
I'M REAL HAPPY FOR HIM.
75
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:38,360
WAS IT DEVASTATING ENOUGH
THAT YOU WON'T GO BACK,
76
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:41,321
OR WILL YOU
DO IT AGAIN?
77
00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:43,407
I'M GONNA DO IT AGAIN.
78
00:04:45,284 --> 00:04:48,245
I ALREADY KNOW I'M GOING
TO DO IT AGAIN, YOU GUYS.
79
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:49,413
WHY?
80
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:51,748
'CAUSE I WANT TO.
EW.
81
00:04:51,749 --> 00:04:53,709
I DID SOME MORE SHOTS,
82
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:56,712
AND THEN SOMEONE
WAS RUBBING MY NECK,
83
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:59,881
AND IT FELT SO GOOD,
84
00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:01,550
AND I WAS LIKE,
85
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,427
"I KNOW I SHOULD STOP THIS,
BUT I JUST DON'T WANT TO,"
86
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:05,846
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
87
00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:06,847
EWWW.
88
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:08,682
IT WAS FEELING
REALLY GOOD--
89
00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:10,851
LIKE, IF I LOOKED DOWN
AND SAW THE HANDS,
90
00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:13,228
THEN IT KIND OF MADE ME GO,
UGH.
91
00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:16,565
BUT I DIDN'T WANT IT TO STOP,
SO I JUST LET HIM KEEP GOING,
92
00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:19,443
AND THEN I JUST DID SOME
MORE SHOTS, AND THEN...
93
00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:20,652
HE WAS, LIKE,
WHISPERING IN MY EAR.
94
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:23,864
YOU KNOW HOW WHEN SOMEONE
WHISPERS IN YOUR EAR,
95
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:24,698
AND YOU GET ALL
GOOSEY-BUMPY?
96
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:28,243
DID HE HAVE, LIKE,
OLD-MAN BREATH?
97
00:05:28,244 --> 00:05:29,411
YES.
98
00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:33,623
DETAILS, DETAILS,
BOY, SPILL IT.
99
00:05:33,624 --> 00:05:36,043
DO TELL.
100
00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:37,461
WELL...
101
00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:40,213
I AIN'T GOING
TO LIE TO YOU.
102
00:05:40,214 --> 00:05:44,926
ALCOHOL DID LOWER
MY INHIBITIONS A LITTLE BIT.
103
00:05:44,927 --> 00:05:48,722
I STARTED TALKING MAYBE
MORE THAN I SHOULD HAVE.
104
00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:50,932
I FELT...
105
00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:53,769
LIKE A...
106
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:57,314
YOUNG CHILD
BEING TAKEN CARE OF.
107
00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:59,858
HER LIPS WERE SOFT...
108
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:00,567
AND, UH...
109
00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:03,571
KISSES SO SWEET.
110
00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:07,824
THE SMELL OF...
111
00:06:07,825 --> 00:06:11,369
A SOUL MATE COMING TO...
112
00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:14,456
FIND HIS SOUL MATE.
113
00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:16,793
DID YOU GET
A TOO?
114
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:25,175
CALL FOR BACKUP.
115
00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:27,135
OKAY, HERE'S HOW IT'S
GOING TO GO--
116
00:06:27,136 --> 00:06:29,096
I'LL TAKE THE FRONT,
YOU TAKE THE BACK.
117
00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:30,597
YES, SIR.
118
00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:33,683
HOW ABOUT, UH, I TAKE THE FRONT,
YOU TAKE THE BACK?
119
00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:36,645
UH, HOW ABOUT--
GARCIA, YOU TAKE THE BACK--
120
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,605
YOU TAKE THE WINDOW,
I'LL TAKE THE FRONT.
121
00:06:38,606 --> 00:06:40,482
HELL, NO, I GOT SENIORITY.
I'M TAKING FRONT.
122
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:42,484
I GO ON THE ROOF.
YOU TAKE THE BACK.
123
00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:43,735
YOU TAKE THE ROOF--
WIEGEL!
124
00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:45,987
YES.
125
00:06:45,988 --> 00:06:47,657
GOOD NEWS.
YOU'RE TAKING THE BACK.
OOH!
126
00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:59,000
OH, GOD!
GOD, GOD!
127
00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:01,711
GOD, GOD, GOD!
128
00:07:01,712 --> 00:07:03,547
UH...
129
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:05,841
STAY STILL.
DON'T MOVE, JUNIOR.
130
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:09,011
I'M TRYING TO LAY STILL,
YOU STUPID...
131
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,859
♪ SUPPORT THE POLICE ♪
132
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:25,026
♪ OH ♪
133
00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:27,154
♪ SUPPORT THE POLICE ♪
134
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:29,739
♪ PEOPLE FLIP US THE BIRD,
ALWAYS DISRESPECTED ♪
135
00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:32,367
♪ I'M JUST DOIN' MY JOB,
SERVIN' AND PROTECTIN' ♪
136
00:07:32,368 --> 00:07:34,870
♪ WALKIN' THE BEAT,
MY BADGE IS MY BLING-BLING ♪
137
00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:37,372
♪ ROB MY STREET, I'LL SEND
YOUR ASS TO SING-SING ♪
138
00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:39,708
♪ ROLLIN' IN THE ROLLER,
CRUISIN' IN THE CRUISER ♪
139
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,585
♪ I'M "A" NUMBER ONE
AND YOU'S A 3-TIME LOSER ♪
140
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:44,379
♪ ...AND $40 FINE ♪
141
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:47,507
♪ I PUT THE "COP"
IN "COP A FEEL" ♪
142
00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:49,718
♪ STEP OUT OF LINE,
YOUR ASS IS MINE ♪
143
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:51,678
♪ TELL THE JUDGE,
'CAUSE YOU GOT NO APPEAL ♪
144
00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:54,639
♪ HO'S IN THE BACKSEAT,
I'M RIDIN' SHOTGUN ♪
145
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:55,891
♪ YOU WANT MY DIGITS? ♪
146
00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:57,267
♪ CALL 9-1-1 ♪
147
00:07:57,268 --> 00:07:59,060
♪ I'M THE MAN IN RENO ♪
148
00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:01,563
♪ THE POLICE, THE 5-0, A C-O-P
IN THE COUNTY OF WASHOE ♪
149
00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:04,566
♪ COUNT ON MY PROTECTION
ON COMIN' THROUGH ♪
150
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,568
♪ DON'T DISRESPECT ME
AND I WON'T SHOOT YOU ♪
151
00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:10,906
♪ YOU DOWN WITH C-O-P? ♪
152
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:12,157
♪ RENO S.D. ♪
153
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:13,241
♪ YOU DOWN WITH C-O-P? ♪
154
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:13,909
♪ RENO S.D. ♪
155
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:16,411
♪ SO, PUNK THE POLICE ♪
156
00:08:16,412 --> 00:08:18,331
♪ PEACE ♪
157
00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:28,131
IF YOU ASK ME IF I BELIEVE
HE BAGGED CLEMMY,
158
00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:30,759
{\an8}NO, I DON'T BELIEVE
HE DID IT.
159
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,595
{\an8}I CHALLENGE HIM TO--
160
00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:35,764
HE DID IT.
161
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:38,934
SHE TOLD US
ALL ABOUT IT.
162
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:40,727
DETAILS.
163
00:08:40,728 --> 00:08:42,729
WHERE YOU GOING?
164
00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:46,608
WH-- HE'S SUCH
A CRYBABY.
165
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:48,610
HE JUST DON'T WANT
NOBODY ELSE TO GET NONE
166
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,070
IF HE AIN'T GETTING NONE.
167
00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:52,615
JONESY,
I'LL GIVE YOU SOME!
168
00:08:57,662 --> 00:09:00,622
{\an8}WELL, I'M JUST GOING
TO PULL OVER FOR A SECOND,
169
00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:02,415
{\an8}IF THAT'S OKAY
WITH YOU.
170
00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:04,459
SURE, I MEAN, IF YOU NEED
TO TAKE A REST
171
00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:05,670
AND YOU WANT ME
TO DRIVE OR SOMETHING...
172
00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:13,468
OW! MY BACK.
173
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:14,803
OH, I'M SORRY.
174
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:16,805
Here we go.
175
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:19,975
WOW...A BUNCH OF ROCKS.
176
00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:22,936
THOSE ARE CRYSTALS.
REALLY?
THOSE ARE CRYSTALS.
REALLY?
177
00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:27,315
THEY'VE BEEN, UH,
INFUSED WITH MY ENERGY.
178
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:31,152
HOLY COW.
179
00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:34,990
OKAY, OKAY.
180
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:36,492
ALL RIGHT.
181
00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:38,827
HO, HO, HO!
182
00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:41,454
WHAT? OUCH!
183
00:09:41,455 --> 00:09:45,125
LAST NIGHT WAS A JUMP START,
AND I GOT FEELINGS,
184
00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:47,669
AND I WANT
TO DO THIS RIGHT.
185
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,838
I KNOW, BUT WE CAN
DO IT RIGHT LATER.
186
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:53,134
RIGHT NOW
LET'S JUST DO IT WRONG.
187
00:09:56,971 --> 00:10:00,181
{\an8}YOU KNOW,
I CANNOT BELIEVE
188
00:10:00,182 --> 00:10:01,725
{\an8}THAT CLEMMY WENT THERE.
189
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:03,977
I CANNOT BELIEVE IT.
I CANNOT BELIEVE IT.
190
00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:05,729
I REALLY, REALLY THOUGHT,
EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE LOW,
191
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:08,732
I THOUGHT
SHE HAD STANDARDS.
192
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:12,569
MY WHOLE PICTURE OF THE WORLD
IS A LITTLE BIT LIKE--
193
00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:14,696
IT'S LIKE I SAW A VIDEO
194
00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:18,366
OF PRINCESS DI
PORKING A DOG OR SOMETHING.
195
00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:20,368
OR LIKE,
"HEY, WE PANNED DOWN,
196
00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:22,830
WE FOUND THE OTHER PART OF THE
MONA LISA WHERE YOU SEE "
197
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:29,044
OH, WE GOT A CALL
THIS MORNING...
198
00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:30,712
SUSPICIOUS PERSON...
199
00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:33,006
TRESPASSING
ON PEOPLE'S LAWNS.
200
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:35,216
THAT'S BIG MIKE
UP TO SOMETHING.
201
00:10:35,217 --> 00:10:37,594
CRYSTAL METH
AND SCHNAPPS
202
00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:39,721
HAVE TURNED HIS BRAIN
INTO A SPONGE.
203
00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:42,182
WHAT THE HELL
IS HE UP TO?
204
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:43,850
HE'S STEALING NEWSPAPERS.
LOOK AT THAT.
205
00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:44,893
JUST TOOK THE NEWSPAPER
OFF THAT DOOR.
206
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:47,020
SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT!
207
00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:48,229
MIKE?
208
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:49,564
MIKE, NO!
209
00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:51,232
NO, FREEZE RIGHT THERE.
210
00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:51,733
GOD DAMN IT!
211
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:54,444
NO, NO, NO, NO.
212
00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:55,695
ALL RIGHT.
213
00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:57,697
STAY RIGHT
BY THE PORSCHE.
214
00:10:57,698 --> 00:10:59,741
WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU UP TO?
215
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:02,452
JUST HANGING OUT.
216
00:11:02,453 --> 00:11:04,579
DON'T TRY AND HIDE THEM
IN THE SHIRT, MIKE.
217
00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:06,873
I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE.
I'M FOUR FEET AWAY FROM YOU.
218
00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:08,249
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
219
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:10,085
JUST GETTING
SOME PAPERS.
220
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:12,170
HE'S GOING TO RUN.
HE'S GOING TO RUN.
221
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:13,380
NO!
222
00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:16,591
FREEZE! FREEZE!
223
00:11:16,592 --> 00:11:18,385
DOWN.
GET DOWN.
224
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,387
ON THE GROUND,
ON THE GROUND.
225
00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:22,389
OH, I SLIPPED IN POOP.
226
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,099
DAMN IT!
227
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:26,351
OH, MAN!
228
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:27,894
STAY THERE.
229
00:11:27,895 --> 00:11:32,399
COME ON, GET UP
OUT OF THIS DOG POOP.
230
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,109
GET UP.
MOVE HIM OVER HERE.
231
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,985
OH, THAT'S JUST
DISGUSTING.
232
00:11:35,986 --> 00:11:38,822
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS?
THAT'S THAT ROTTWEILER.
233
00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:40,991
HE LIKE A MAN.
234
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:44,786
DOOR'S LOCKED.
235
00:11:47,623 --> 00:11:49,416
DID YOU LEAVE
THE KEYS IN HER?
236
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:50,792
IS YOUR WINDOW DOWN?
237
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:52,001
DO YOU WANT ME TO BUST
THE WINDOW WITH A ROCK?
238
00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:54,963
'CAUSE YOU CAN BUST IT.
239
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:55,964
HELLO!
240
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:58,466
OH
THIS ONE'S LOCKED, TOO.
241
00:11:58,467 --> 00:11:59,592
I HAVE TO GO TO JAIL NOW.
242
00:11:59,593 --> 00:12:02,095
THE OFFICER'S GOT ME!
243
00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:04,305
NOW, YOU STAY PUT THERE,
MIKE, ALL RIGHT?
244
00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:06,474
YOU STAY THERE!
245
00:12:06,475 --> 00:12:08,476
OH.
246
00:12:08,477 --> 00:12:11,355
NICE WORK
247
00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:18,611
{\an8}WELL, IF I COULD
READ YOUR PALM,
248
00:12:18,612 --> 00:12:21,448
{\an8}I'D SAY THAT YOU HAVE
A WONDERFUL FUTURE
249
00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:23,825
AS A NICE WIFE
AND A HOMEMAKER
250
00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:26,035
AND SOMEBODY THAT NEEDS
TO HAVE A HAPPY LIFE.
251
00:12:26,036 --> 00:12:28,830
I JUST--
252
00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:32,167
IF I COULD READ PALMS,
BUT I CAN'T, SO...
253
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:34,210
ACTUALLY,
THIS LINE SAYS
254
00:12:34,211 --> 00:12:36,963
THAT I'VE GOT THREE MORE
YEARS ON MY BANKRUPTCY.
255
00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:38,882
OH.
256
00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:41,759
WE'RE ONE NOW,
YOU KNOW?
257
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:42,886
WE, UH--
258
00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:45,972
YEAH, T-T-THAT'S WHAT
THAT MEANS, WE'RE ONE.
259
00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:49,309
IT MEANS
THAT YOU'RE MY MAN.
260
00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:51,519
I'D LIKE
TO BE YOUR MAN.
261
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,439
AND, YOU KNOW,
I WOULD HELP YOU OUT
262
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,818
IF I HAD A FICO SCORE
THAT WAS ABOVE 480.
263
00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:10,705
I'M HAPPY
FOR CLEMMY AND GARCIA.
264
00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:13,875
I MEAN...
265
00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:16,294
THEY'RE EACH JUST ALWAYS
HUMPING ON SOMETHING,
266
00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:18,254
THEY MIGHT AS WELL
HUMP ON EACH OTHER.
267
00:13:18,255 --> 00:13:20,256
THAT'S ONE LESS THING
TO BE HUMPED ON.
268
00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:22,425
I'M NOT SURPRISED
THAT THEY GOT TOGETHER.
269
00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:24,761
THE ONLY THING I'M
REALLY SURPRISED ABOUT
270
00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:26,554
IS THAT HE DIDN'T
GET A DISEASE,
271
00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:28,056
YOU KNOW
WHAT I'M SAYING?
272
00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:30,183
WELL, SOME DISEASES
TAKE A COUPLE WEEKS,
273
00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:31,059
SOMETIMES YEARS
TO SHOW UP.
274
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:35,272
I'LL KEEP MY EYE OUT
FOR ITCHY, RED BUMPS.
275
00:13:37,691 --> 00:13:40,110
ON YOURSELF
OR ON ONE OF THEM?
276
00:13:45,824 --> 00:13:47,575
NICE TO SEE YOU,
HONEY.
277
00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:49,035
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
278
00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:51,079
OH, YOU'VE NEVER
BEEN HERE BEFORE.
NO, MA'AM.
OH, YOU'VE NEVER
BEEN HERE BEFORE.
NO, MA'AM.
279
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,998
WELCOME.
WELCOME TO MY LAIR.
280
00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:57,585
MY SELF-PORTRAITS.
I'M REAL PROUD OF THESE.
281
00:13:57,586 --> 00:13:59,587
I HAVE A FRIEND
THAT CUSTOMIZES VANS,
282
00:13:59,588 --> 00:14:01,297
AND THIS IS DELICIOUS.
283
00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:04,092
YEAH, THAT IS ME, THE WARRIOR
PRINCESS IN LINGERIE.
284
00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:06,803
I WOULD NEVER WEAR MY BANGS
THAT WAY, BUT--
285
00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:10,265
I WENT TO THE DOCTOR TODAY,
AND, UH...
286
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:12,725
FOR $2,000,
287
00:14:12,726 --> 00:14:16,104
I CAN GET ALL THE TATTOOS
ERASED FROM MY BACK,
288
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:18,983
WHICH MEANS...
289
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:22,986
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
290
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:27,407
OH, I CAN GET--
I WILL HAVE A CLEAN CANVAS
291
00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:29,951
FOR WHEN I GET YOUR NAME
292
00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:33,663
AND YOUR FACE
TATTOOED THERE INSTEAD.
293
00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:35,915
OHH.
BECAUSE YOU'RE MY MAN.
294
00:14:35,916 --> 00:14:38,459
WELL, OKAY.
295
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:40,795
AND I'M
IN LOVE WITH YOU.
296
00:14:40,796 --> 00:14:42,171
I'M IN
LOVE WITH YOU, TOO.
297
00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:44,340
SUGARPLUM.
298
00:14:44,341 --> 00:14:47,218
SO, I CAN COVER
THE $2,000.
299
00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:50,138
WHAT I NEED YOU
TO DO FOR ME
300
00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:54,809
IS GIVE ME $700 SO I CAN
GO TO MY GUY AND GET--
301
00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:58,813
I NEED $700
AND A RECENT PICTURE,
302
00:14:58,814 --> 00:15:01,774
AND THEN I'LL HAVE--
303
00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:04,527
WHAT ARE YOU NOT DOING
RIGHT NOW?
304
00:15:04,528 --> 00:15:05,070
THANK YOU!
305
00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:13,995
{\an8}WE'VE BEEN HAVING A BOOK DRIVE
HERE AT THE STATION FOR KIDS,
306
00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:18,082
{\an8}AND PUT A DONATION BOX
OUT HERE, AND, UH...
307
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:20,376
SURE ENOUGH...
308
00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:23,212
SOMEBODY POOPED IN THE
BOOK-DONATION BOX, SO, UH...
309
00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:27,383
THAT'S "THE GIVING TREE"
THERE.
310
00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:29,677
A WONDERFUL BOOK
ABOUT A LITTLE BOY,
311
00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:31,679
AND HE'S FRIENDS
WITH A TREE.
312
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,306
THIS BOOK--
313
00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:35,892
THE FIRST TIME I SAW IT,
IT MADE ME CRY,
314
00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:38,227
AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY
THAT SOMEBODY POOPED ON IT.
315
00:15:38,228 --> 00:15:40,521
THE IRONIC THING
316
00:15:40,522 --> 00:15:43,024
IS THAT THE LAST THING
THE TREE GIVES THE BOY
317
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,317
IS A NICE PLACE TO SIT.
318
00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:46,903
OH, JIM, IT GOT ME.
319
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:48,863
IT GOT ME.
320
00:15:48,864 --> 00:15:50,740
OHH!
321
00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:52,158
WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING?
322
00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:53,242
WHY DON'T YOU
JUST BURN THEM?
323
00:15:53,243 --> 00:15:55,870
THEY'RE FOR CHILDREN.
324
00:15:55,871 --> 00:15:58,206
YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE CHILDREN
CRAP-STAINED BOOKS?
325
00:15:58,207 --> 00:15:59,165
THAT'S WHY WE'RE
CLEANING THEM.
326
00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:01,626
AND THEY'RE
POOR CHILDREN.
327
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,211
GET IT OUT.
HEY, HEY!
328
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:04,087
HEY, HEY!
329
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:06,839
"THE WIND IN THE WILLOWS."
330
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:08,341
YOU GOT A LATTE.
331
00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:10,093
THANK YOU, JUNIOR.
332
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:12,345
HERE, I DON'T
WANT TO GET--
333
00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:13,262
CAN YOU JUST
SIP ME SOME?
334
00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:16,599
PULL MY MASK DOWN
AND JUST SIP ME SOME.
335
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,851
I AIN'T GOING
TO SIP YOU NOTHING.
336
00:16:18,852 --> 00:16:20,395
NO, YOU GOT POOP
ON MY FACE!
337
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:23,398
NOW THERE'S COFFEE
IN THE POOP BOX!
338
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:25,066
HELP, CLEMMY.
339
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:28,403
I GOT POOP ON--
THERE'S POOP ON MY FACE!
340
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:30,071
NO, GET AWAY!
341
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:32,741
PULL MY GLASSES UP.
NOT YOU! YOU.
342
00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:36,244
AH, AH!
343
00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:38,246
AH, GOD!
344
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:40,289
NO, DON'T BLOW ON ME.
345
00:16:40,290 --> 00:16:41,916
JUST LET ME BE.
IT BURNS.
346
00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:43,584
YOU GOT
A LITTLE BIT--
NO!
347
00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:45,087
NO! NO!
I'M SORRY.
NO! NO!
I'M SORRY.
348
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:51,467
DO YOU WANT ME
AS BAD AS I WANT YOU?
349
00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:53,469
OH, YEAH.
350
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:55,180
YEAH, I DO.
351
00:16:57,349 --> 00:17:00,476
WELL, LET ME
FINISH MY WINE.
352
00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:01,352
OH, OKAY.
353
00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:05,398
SMOKE A LITTLE MORE,
AND THEN WE'LL...
354
00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:07,150
GET THAT GOING.
355
00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:09,444
EXCUSE ME VERY MUCH.
356
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:11,779
OH, I DID NOT OFFER YOU
SUGAR FOR THAT WINE.
357
00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:14,490
IT'S SO MUCH BETTER IF THERE'S
A LITTLE SOMETHING IN IT.
358
00:17:14,491 --> 00:17:17,243
LIKE WHEN YOU'RE IN HIGH SCHOOL,
YOU ALWAYS SAY,
359
00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:19,620
"OH, MOM, I'M GOING TO GO
WATCH A MOVIE WITH,
360
00:17:19,621 --> 00:17:21,247
UH...MY BOYFRIEND,"
361
00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:23,124
AND THEN YOU COME HOME,
362
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:26,294
AND YOUR LIPS ARE ALL
SWOLLEN LIKE "UGH,"
363
00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:27,336
AND YOUR HAIR'S
ALL MATTED,
364
00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:30,006
AND ALL YOUR MAKEUP
IS ABSORBED INTO YOUR FACE,
365
00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:32,008
AND YOU'RE COVERED WITH HICKEYS,
AND YOUR MOM SAYS,
366
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:33,593
"HEY,
WHAT WERE YOU DOING?"
367
00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:35,803
AND YOU SAY, "OH, I WAS
JUST WATCHING A MOVIE,"
368
00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:37,513
AND SHE SAYS,
"THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND.
369
00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:38,431
I'D APPRECIATE IT
IF YOU'D STAY AWAY."
370
00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:40,308
AND THEN I SAY,
"WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
371
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:43,270
WHY DON'T YOU SHAVE YOUR LEGS,
STUPID BITCH WHORE.
372
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:48,441
BUT...WE COULD
MAKE A MOVIE.
373
00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:02,371
HELLO, KEITH.
374
00:18:02,372 --> 00:18:03,664
HEY, GUYS.
375
00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:05,082
HOW YOU DOING?
376
00:18:05,083 --> 00:18:07,668
WELL, WE'VE GOT A PERVERT
ON THE LOOSE,
377
00:18:07,669 --> 00:18:10,505
AND WE NEED TO PUT UP
SOME SIGNS...
378
00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:13,841
'CAUSE WE DON'T WANT PERVERTS
IN OUR COMMUNITY.
379
00:18:13,842 --> 00:18:15,843
WOW, THAT'S, UM...
380
00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:17,178
THAT LOOKS A LOT
LIKE ME.
381
00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:20,556
YEAH, I GUESS
IT KIND OF DOES.
382
00:18:20,557 --> 00:18:23,309
YEAH, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU
WANT TO PUT THOSE UP IN HERE.
383
00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:24,977
OH, WE'VE GOT TO.
384
00:18:24,978 --> 00:18:27,271
GUYS, SERIOUSLY, I CAN'T
HAVE THAT IN THE STORE, MAN.
385
00:18:27,272 --> 00:18:30,233
YEAH, I GUESS IT
WOULD BE DIFFICULT
386
00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:33,361
IF SOMEONE THOUGHT YOU WERE
A CRIMINAL OF SOME SORT,
387
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:36,864
HAVING YOUR FACE ON SOMETHING
THAT SAYS YOU'RE A CRIMINAL...
388
00:18:36,865 --> 00:18:40,201
OF SOME SORT, SOME KIND OF
AN OFFENDER, KEITH.
389
00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:43,830
YEAH, OKAY,
I SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
390
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:46,374
THE DIFFERENCE IS, THOUGH,
THAT WAS A $387 CHECK.
391
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:49,710
I'VE GOT 5,000 OF THESE.
HA!
I'VE GOT 5,000 OF THESE.
HA!
392
00:18:49,711 --> 00:18:52,505
COME ON,
TOGETHER, TOGETHER.
393
00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:55,049
AND...GO.
394
00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:57,760
THANK YOU.
395
00:18:57,761 --> 00:19:00,264
PLEASURE DOING BUSINESS
WITH YOU.
396
00:19:06,144 --> 00:19:07,270
OFTEN WE DON'T HAVE
ENOUGH SUSPECTS
397
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:10,064
TO FILL OUT A COMPLETE LINEUP,
398
00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:13,025
AND WE DEPUTIES HAVE TO FILL IN
AS SORT OF RINGERS.
399
00:19:13,026 --> 00:19:14,777
JUNIOR CALLED ME LAST NIGHT.
400
00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:18,072
TODAY WE'VE GOT SOME
CHIMNEY SWEEPS IN, I GUESS,
401
00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:22,077
SO JUST THREW THIS TOGETHER FROM
MY OLD MUSICAL-THEATER TRUNK.
402
00:19:32,212 --> 00:19:34,630
NUMBER FIVE,
WOULD YOU PLEASE STEP FORWARD
403
00:19:34,631 --> 00:19:37,258
AND SING "SUPERCALIFRAGILISTIC
EXPIALIDOCIOUS"?
404
00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:47,226
YOU, YOU,
ALL OF YOU!
405
00:19:47,227 --> 00:19:48,603
YOU!
406
00:19:53,483 --> 00:19:55,401
...VERY, VERY SMALL
TERMITE.
407
00:19:55,402 --> 00:19:58,571
IT GROWS IN THE BEAN,
OR THEY PUT IT IN THE BEAN?
408
00:19:58,572 --> 00:20:01,449
CLEMENTINE!
409
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:03,409
I MEAN,
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD,
410
00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:06,287
I FEEL LIKE
A SALT LICK.
411
00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:08,956
YOU'RE ALWAYS ON ME!
I MEAN, UH
412
00:20:08,957 --> 00:20:11,626
I JUST-- I CAN'T
DO THIS ANYMORE.
413
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:14,128
I CAN'T BE
YOUR SUCK-ON BOYFRIEND.
414
00:20:14,129 --> 00:20:15,463
YOU'RE A REAL FINE PERSON,
CLEMENTINE,
415
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:19,300
AND, UH,
THAT'S GOING TO BE IT.
416
00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:20,844
THAT'S GOING TO BE IT.
417
00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:31,479
THANK YOU,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
418
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:35,775
SEE, IT'S KIND OF LIKE GETTING
A FLU SHOT, YOU KNOW?
419
00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:38,778
YOU DO IT ONCE, AND THEN YOU
NEVER HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN,
420
00:20:38,779 --> 00:20:40,529
NO MATTER HOW AWFUL IT IS.
421
00:20:40,530 --> 00:20:41,405
BUT NOW IT'S OVER.
422
00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:44,533
THANK YOU.
423
00:20:44,534 --> 00:20:47,161
HERE'S TO ME.
HERE'S TO ME.
424
00:20:47,162 --> 00:20:48,496
IT WAS A PLAN!
425
00:20:48,497 --> 00:20:50,331
YES, IT WAS.
426
00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:52,166
I THOUGHT
YOU WERE SLIPPING.
427
00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:55,127
WHY DO THEY CALL IT A BEAN
IF IT'S A WORM?
428
00:20:55,128 --> 00:20:58,297
JUST LIKE SEA-MONKEYS
AREN'T REALLY MONKEYS.
429
00:20:58,298 --> 00:21:00,049
YES, THEY ARE.
430
00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:01,342
NO, THEY'RE URCHINS.
431
00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:03,594
THEY'RE ACTUALLY FISH.
432
00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:06,681
WHAT DO SEA-MONKEYS
LIVE OFF OF?
433
00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:10,269
{\an8}- Captions by VITAC--
www.vitac.com
434
00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:12,687
{\an8}OH, GOD!
435
00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:16,440
{\an8}NOW YOU JUST SMEARED IT.
436
00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:18,442
{\an8}IS THERE POOP ON MY EYE?
437
00:21:18,443 --> 00:21:22,571
{\an8}WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS,
LIEUTENANT?
438
00:21:22,572 --> 00:21:25,366
{\an8}YOU KNOW, I SUPPOSE WE COULD
HAVE GOT SOME TRUSTEES.
439
00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:28,703
{\an8}WE COULD GET SOME TRUST--
YOU KNOW?
440
00:21:28,704 --> 00:21:31,872
{\an8}YEAH, WHY DON'T YOU GET
SOME TRUSTEES, I GUESS?
441
00:21:31,873 --> 00:21:33,874
{\an8}I'LL GO IN
AND GET ON THAT.
442
00:21:33,875 --> 00:21:36,711
{\an8}SOMEHOW THIS HAS MADE ME HUNGRY
FOR TACOS.
443
00:21:36,712 --> 00:21:38,045
{\an8}OH, GOD.
444
00:21:38,046 --> 00:21:39,131
{\an8}YOU UP FOR LUNCH?
31018
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