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1
00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:09,091
Come on, people.
2
00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:12,136
Let's go,
Presidente Whoever-you-are.
3
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:13,429
. Damn it.
4
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:16,432
- I can't hold it.
- I can't hold it, either.
5
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:18,809
. Oh, [bleep].
6
00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:21,812
One, two, three, four, five
six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
7
00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:23,105
- it.
- Okay. Forget it.
8
00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:25,149
I gotta go. I gotta go.
9
00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:27,318
Oh, oh!
10
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,487
Oh, [bleep].
11
00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:32,907
Oh! Ah, that's good.
12
00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:36,118
Oh, son of a...
13
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:37,119
Son of a bitch!
14
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:40,122
Son of a bitch!
15
00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:40,539
- Hey!
- Oh!
16
00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:42,624
, man!
17
00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:47,422
{\an8}Come here!
18
00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:52,385
{\an8}Oh! Ah!
19
00:00:54,512 --> 00:00:56,347
{\an8}Oh-ah! Oh!
20
00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:32,299
{\an8}'Anybody see "The Office"
last night?'
21
00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:34,384
{\an8}What's that?
22
00:01:34,385 --> 00:01:35,344
{\an8}'They talk like...'
23
00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:39,264
{\an8}"Hello, my name is Samuel."
24
00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:41,350
I don't know
their names on it
25
00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:43,852
but they talk funny,
and they work in an office.
26
00:01:43,853 --> 00:01:45,687
- They're really funny.
- It's very good.
27
00:01:45,688 --> 00:01:49,191
'Uh, and I guess
that's about it'
28
00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:51,486
'unless, uh...'
29
00:01:53,154 --> 00:01:55,323
Anybody else has anything
they want to add...
30
00:01:58,493 --> 00:02:00,077
'...of interest?'
31
00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:02,372
Why are you wearing
that thing on your head?
32
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:12,047
This "thing" on my head
is called a burka
33
00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:14,550
and I am exercising
34
00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:17,719
my religious freedom, alright?
35
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:20,556
I stand before you,
Raineesha X
36
00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:22,558
all praise is due to Allah.
37
00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:27,479
It's from the
homeland-security training.
38
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,314
I'm sorry. I thought
she was gonna--
39
00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:32,359
- No, no. She don't have a bomb.
- Good instinct.
40
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:33,485
No, no, she didn't have a...
41
00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:36,905
Things have changed
for me, because, see
42
00:02:36,906 --> 00:02:41,160
my eyes were opened
to the truth.
43
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:45,582
The truth that the white man
is the devil, huh?
44
00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:49,167
'In the Koran...'
45
00:02:49,168 --> 00:02:51,795
Okay, I'm not sure
everything it says
46
00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:54,089
'cause I just got it.
47
00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,425
But I know that it talks
about y'all being the devil.
48
00:02:56,426 --> 00:03:02,472
Thanks to the nation
of Islam, I'm free.
49
00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:05,100
Is this gonna be a problem
doing your job
50
00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:07,769
now that you're
nation of Muslim?
51
00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:09,104
Don't be aggressive
with me, okay?
52
00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:10,105
I wasn't being aggressive.
53
00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:12,316
Don't hate me,
'cause I found the truth
54
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:15,777
and now that my eyes are open,
hah, you can't have me
55
00:03:15,778 --> 00:03:17,279
'cause, see, I was had.
56
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:18,447
I was took.
57
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:21,116
I been hoodwinked, bamboozled.
58
00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:22,409
Y'all have run amok.
59
00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:25,495
- Hornswoggled.
- Thank you, brother.
60
00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:27,581
- And fandangled.
- Thank you.
61
00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:28,875
boozled.
62
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:31,460
No.
63
00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,587
Well, I support you, sister.
64
00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:36,298
I'm not your sister,
cracker jack.
65
00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:37,215
Whatever.
66
00:03:37,216 --> 00:03:40,135
So, are you quitting
because we're the devil?
67
00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:42,930
You can't run me
out of here!
68
00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:44,431
'I'm gonna do
what I got to do!'
69
00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:47,017
Deal with it, crackers!
70
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:49,771
There's a new sheriff in town.
Hah!
71
00:03:50,229 --> 00:03:51,898
Asalaam alaikum.
72
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:56,069
It's alaikum salaam,
brother.
73
00:03:57,695 --> 00:04:00,865
Okay. Where was I?
74
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,457
Ho, ho, ho!
75
00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:12,834
Hey, hey.
76
00:04:12,835 --> 00:04:14,753
Afro-man, here we go.
77
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,380
'Hey, hey!'
78
00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:20,801
'People! People!'
79
00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:22,219
Make some noise for J-Lo!
80
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,723
Wait a minute, we got some
new contestants, here we go.
81
00:04:26,724 --> 00:04:28,309
Here's gay cop...
82
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,811
'Gay cop! Gay cop!'
83
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:32,813
Gay cop! Gay cop! Gay cop!
84
00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:34,022
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
85
00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:35,524
Hold on.
86
00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,401
'Slut cop, ladies and gentlemen.
Slut cop!'
87
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:41,530
Slut! Slut! Slut!
Slut! Slut! Slut!
88
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:42,698
People!
89
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:45,534
Alright, you crazy drunks,
this is for the $500 prize.
90
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:46,576
I'm in. I'm in.
91
00:04:46,577 --> 00:04:50,247
- $500 cash?
- '$500 cash, big man.'
92
00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:52,082
Here we go.
Who's gonna get it?
93
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:54,543
Gay cop, show them what
you got, baby. 500 big ones.
94
00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:03,218
Gay cop! Gay cop! Gay cop!
Gay cop! Gay cop! Gay cop!
95
00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:06,388
Gay cop! Gay cop!
Gay cop! Gay cop!
96
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:08,932
'That's pretty good.
That's pretty good.'
97
00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:11,643
Let's give it up for
the crowd favorite, slut cop.
98
00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:14,896
Slut cop! Slut! Slut!
Slut! Slut! Slut! Slut!
99
00:05:14,897 --> 00:05:18,025
Slut! Slut! Slut!
Slut! Slut! Slut!
100
00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:31,581
'Party's over!
Gay cop says party's over.'
101
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:37,127
To me, it doesn't make sense
102
00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:38,587
{\an8}that you gotta pray
facing a certain way.
103
00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:42,215
{\an8}If God's everywhere,
shouldn't you be able to
104
00:05:42,216 --> 00:05:44,968
{\an8}you know, face any
which way when you pray?
105
00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:46,428
Like, is his receiver
somewhere in the Middle East
106
00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:49,431
and he's listening to
the receiver or something?
107
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:53,310
Yeah, that's like,
I have a plan with God
108
00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:54,603
but it's like
a bad cell plan.
109
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:57,439
Doesn't work
in certain areas.
110
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,816
- Five calls a day.
- 'That's right.'
111
00:05:59,817 --> 00:06:02,736
Anytime, see, I got anytime
minutes with my God.
112
00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:04,946
- Hallelujah.
- 24-7.
113
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:20,128
- All praise is due to Allah.
- 'Yeah.'
114
00:06:20,129 --> 00:06:22,297
'Morning to you.'
115
00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:24,008
Just in time for lunch.
116
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:26,968
You got that rug
at the swap meet
117
00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:27,512
and I know it glows in the dark.
118
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:30,972
'I'm gonna go get some bacon.'
119
00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:33,475
I don't hear the devil
when the devil speaks.
120
00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:33,850
- Wow.
- What?
121
00:06:33,851 --> 00:06:36,603
You are hot.
122
00:06:36,604 --> 00:06:40,440
Look at this, this is
really working for you
123
00:06:40,441 --> 00:06:43,151
and it's working
on me, huh?
124
00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:45,112
Thank you. I mean, that wasn't
what it was all about.
125
00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:46,321
- But thanks.
- I know.
126
00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:49,157
But, what say you and me,
squad car, now?
127
00:06:49,158 --> 00:06:50,325
Let's go, huh?
128
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:52,494
Oh, no,
I can't do that anymore.
129
00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:54,496
I am a forbidden fruit.
130
00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:57,499
Yeah, but I'm hungry,
so let's eat. Let's go.
131
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:58,542
No, no, no.
132
00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:01,169
I-I will let you
take me on a proper date.
133
00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:02,295
- Proper date?
- Yeah.
134
00:07:02,296 --> 00:07:04,548
Alright, whatever it takes.
135
00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,508
- Pick me up tomorrow.
- Okay.
136
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:09,720
You and me, proper date. Boom.
137
00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:21,231
Oh, man.
This is too easy.
138
00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:24,234
- Let's get him.
- Hey, here we go. Come on.
139
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:26,778
There you go. Another student
driver, here we go.
140
00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:29,781
It's like shooting fish
in a barrel.
141
00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:32,033
- Hey.
- Hey, turn off your engine.
142
00:07:32,034 --> 00:07:34,202
Let me see your driver's license
and registration.
143
00:07:34,203 --> 00:07:35,704
I-I don't have
a driver's license.
144
00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:38,331
'You're driving
without a license, sir?'
145
00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:40,041
Well, I'm training to get...
146
00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:41,918
'You don't have
a driver's license?'
147
00:07:41,919 --> 00:07:44,004
Well, I have three more hours
on my driver's training.
148
00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:45,714
Yeah, step out of the car.
149
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:48,175
Follow my hand, sir,
follow it.
150
00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:49,718
- Are you following his hand?
- Close your eyes.
151
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:51,761
Tip your head back.
Tip your head back.
152
00:07:51,762 --> 00:07:52,721
I took some cough medicine,
but I didn't think--
153
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:55,432
- You took what?
- What'd you take?
154
00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:56,850
It was homeopathic,
there was no--
155
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:57,893
Why, why?
156
00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,895
Why are you taking
homo cough medicine?
157
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:03,106
Shut up and walk towards me.
158
00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:04,733
Okay, that's good enough.
You're in a lot of trouble.
159
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,568
Do you know what
you were doing here today?
160
00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:07,736
You realize what
you could've been doing?
161
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:10,697
Look at my partner
when he's talking to you.
162
00:08:10,698 --> 00:08:12,741
No, look at him.
I'm gonna talk to you.
163
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:15,243
Listen to him.
Look at me and listen to him.
164
00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:17,078
Look at him while
I'm talking to you, okay?
165
00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:18,538
Step over here, sir.
166
00:08:18,539 --> 00:08:20,248
Step over here so we can
talk about you.
167
00:08:20,249 --> 00:08:20,916
We should just take him to jail.
168
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:22,918
No, I'm gonna take him in.
169
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:23,919
Okay!
170
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,086
- Oh, my God!
- Oh!
171
00:08:25,087 --> 00:08:27,964
You're not stopping me
from getting my license!
172
00:08:27,965 --> 00:08:29,090
Listen, sir.
173
00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:30,800
No, no,
you listen to me!
174
00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:32,928
Yeah, look at me
and listen to me, right?
175
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,721
Look over there and listen
to that, how's that feel?
176
00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:37,641
Okay, turn around
and listen, right?
177
00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:40,310
I want you in first,
and I want you facing away
178
00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:41,937
and I want you in second.
179
00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:43,730
I don't want to hurt you guys.
I just want to make fun of you.
180
00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:45,815
Oh, my God.
181
00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:47,442
'We're trapped
inside our car.'
182
00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:48,610
'Residential street,
Murphy, three and half miles--'
183
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,779
Shut up!
I can hear you talking!
184
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:53,406
- 'Okay, okay!'
- 'I can't breathe.'
185
00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:55,492
'Come on, now. [bleep]'
186
00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:57,994
Sorry!
187
00:08:57,995 --> 00:08:59,996
'We-we-we...'
188
00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:08,630
{\an8}Islam's for, I mean,
I don't want to be racist
189
00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:11,132
{\an8}but it seems like
Islam's for black people.
190
00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:13,635
Oh, yeah. Well, there's two
kinds of Islam.
191
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,345
And I don't mean
that in a nice way.
192
00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:16,680
No, there's two kinds of Islam
193
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:19,849
there's the browny version
and the black version.
194
00:09:19,850 --> 00:09:21,601
The thing is with Islam
195
00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:25,814
it's a religion that involves
a sort of costume outfit
196
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:28,858
and you're not gonna get
a lot of white people
197
00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:29,901
to join a religion
that involves a costume.
198
00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:31,696
No, I don't like
wearing this every day.
199
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:36,700
{\an8}We had a rather
major bust this morning.
200
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:41,496
A couple of Croatians were
making counterfeit $5 bills
201
00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:44,457
out here in this
little workshop.
202
00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:46,501
We have to count all of it
before we hand it over
203
00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:48,837
to the secret service,
who handle it from there.
204
00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:53,216
Okay, I'm at $16,300 right here.
205
00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:56,094
$16,305. $16,310.
206
00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:58,680
Yeah, Jim and I have been
doing this for like
207
00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:01,016
six hours or seven hours.
208
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:02,475
It feels like ten hours
209
00:10:02,476 --> 00:10:04,853
'cause when you're sitting
in a hot room like this
210
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:06,062
it feels like...
211
00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:10,817
You know, just one hour can feel
like five hours or ten hours.
212
00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:13,653
I mean, it's only been,
realistically--
213
00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:16,657
- Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
- 'What?'
214
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,034
Where was I?
215
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:20,243
Where was I what?
216
00:10:20,244 --> 00:10:23,204
$16,340, $16,345.
217
00:10:23,205 --> 00:10:25,081
'Jim, listen. It sounds
like my chair's farting.'
218
00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:27,834
$16,350, $16,355.
219
00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:30,545
Phew.
220
00:10:30,546 --> 00:10:33,089
- Sixty, $16,365...
- Phew.
221
00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:36,176
Oh, I shouldn't have had
that burrito at lunch, Jim.
222
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:38,887
Oh, [bleep] it!
. Damn it!
223
00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:52,734
Hey. Look real good.
224
00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:53,860
You look great.
225
00:10:53,861 --> 00:10:54,944
Thank you.
226
00:10:54,945 --> 00:10:58,531
I mean, you really look...
227
00:10:58,532 --> 00:11:02,243
I mean, when you said
you were down for anything
228
00:11:02,244 --> 00:11:04,204
I didn't know you were,
you know.
229
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:07,457
We're gonna date, we're gonna
date right, right?
230
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:11,544
I went the internet
and I saw how they looked
231
00:11:11,545 --> 00:11:14,048
and so I said,
"Hey, I'm gonna try it out."
232
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:17,258
- I like it.
- 'I like this.'
233
00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:18,426
You look real nice.
234
00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:20,428
Look at this, looks good.
235
00:11:20,429 --> 00:11:22,263
Okay, but don't
touch me, though.
236
00:11:22,264 --> 00:11:24,724
- Huh?
- You can't do that.
237
00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:25,893
Hmm.
238
00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:33,608
The nation is calling.
239
00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:35,235
Hello.
240
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:37,070
How you doing, sister?
241
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:40,990
'We just wanted to pass out
some information on the
nation.'
242
00:11:40,991 --> 00:11:43,952
Alright, on the white devils.
243
00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:44,994
And what they're trying to do
244
00:11:44,995 --> 00:11:48,164
to the black man
here in America.
245
00:11:48,165 --> 00:11:49,624
'You look a little mixed'
246
00:11:49,625 --> 00:11:51,793
'like you got some kind of
something in your family'
247
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:55,463
like a little, you know,
some negroid or something.
248
00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:56,923
'Mm-hmm. Embrace it.'
249
00:11:56,924 --> 00:11:59,968
Crucify the whiteness.
250
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:00,802
Embrace...
251
00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:03,638
- Your negroidness.
- There you go.
252
00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:04,931
Yeah, 'cause the white devil
253
00:12:04,932 --> 00:12:09,018
is infiltrating
your neighborhood.
254
00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:10,937
Alright?
But the nation is here.
255
00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:12,021
Have no fear.
256
00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:14,649
The nation is here.
257
00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:15,233
Yeah.
258
00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:17,652
We gonna leave you that.
259
00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:19,154
'Thing long, you think wrong.'
260
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:22,157
- Hah!
- Hey.
261
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:24,200
- See, you gotta call them out.
- You got to call them out.
262
00:12:24,201 --> 00:12:25,118
Yeah, you just tell the truth.
263
00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:27,036
- Okay, you tell what you know.
- Uh-huh.
264
00:12:27,037 --> 00:12:30,999
That they are evil,
that white people are the devil.
265
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,126
Alright, they're straight
from the pit of hell.
266
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:35,044
And you just have
to call that stuff out.
267
00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:36,963
And if they can't handle it,
that ain't your problem.
268
00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:37,881
'Cause, see, you got
the truth on your, hey!
269
00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:40,050
- Huh?
- No. no, no.
270
00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:56,024
I don't even balance
my own checkbook at home.
271
00:12:56,025 --> 00:12:57,650
I don't know
why we're bothering.
272
00:12:57,651 --> 00:12:59,527
'Twenty, twenty five, thirty.'
273
00:12:59,528 --> 00:13:00,904
Do you know how much money
I have in my account at home?
274
00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:04,032
Forty five, fifty, fifty five.
275
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:05,200
Forty two dollars.
276
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:06,826
Sixty five, seventy.
277
00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:09,037
But they don't let you
take out just $42.
278
00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:11,706
You have to take out, like, $40.
279
00:13:11,707 --> 00:13:13,249
But then you're left with $2
280
00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:14,083
and then they don't
let you take $2 out.
281
00:13:14,084 --> 00:13:16,711
You have to take,
go to the guy and go
282
00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:18,254
"Please, sir, could I please?
283
00:13:18,255 --> 00:13:21,591
There's $2 in my bank account,
and it's my $2."
284
00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:23,343
Why don't you go
get some air for a second?
285
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:25,261
- Okay.
- How's that?
286
00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:27,055
Would you like anything?
287
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,891
- I'm good.
- Okay.
288
00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:32,435
You sure don't want anything?
I could go to 7-eleven.
289
00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:33,811
'Okay.'
290
00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:42,028
I think this whole Islamic
religion, voodoo, hojo
291
00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:47,242
uh, weird crap is poisoning
the minds of all our foreigners
292
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:49,285
and dark-colored people
in this country.
293
00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:51,621
And if they just
learn to be a regular
294
00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:53,873
white, Christian,
upstanding citizens.
295
00:13:53,874 --> 00:13:55,041
{\an8}'No, you can't
learn to be white.'
296
00:13:55,042 --> 00:13:57,627
{\an8}- Why, you can--
- You can't learn to be white.
297
00:13:57,628 --> 00:14:00,547
{\an8}You can act a certain way that
this country was founded on.
298
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:03,091
Instead of throwing down carpets
299
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,385
on any empty space you see
300
00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:06,970
and refusing to eat pork.
301
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:11,891
Okay, be nice, because
there's two kinds of Muslims.
302
00:14:11,892 --> 00:14:13,101
There's nation of Islam,
black guys
303
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:17,188
and regular Muslims,
and there's a difference.
304
00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:20,942
The nation of Islam Muslims want
to kill all the white people.
305
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:25,113
And the other Muslims
want to kill everyone else.
306
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:26,114
- No, no.
- Right.
307
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:29,742
Sir! Hey! Hey, man!
308
00:14:29,743 --> 00:14:32,370
'Can we holler
at you for a second?'
309
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:33,788
Alright?
310
00:14:33,789 --> 00:14:38,334
Listen, buddy,
the nation is here, alright?
311
00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:40,086
So better stay clear.
312
00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:42,464
We're here.
313
00:14:44,883 --> 00:14:47,927
And we're here
to tell you that...
314
00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:49,470
We're calling you out, sir.
315
00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:50,972
You have wronged
our people.
316
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:52,974
Your people have wronged
our people, alright?
317
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:55,476
We have been hoodwinked
318
00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:57,770
bamboozled and run amok.
319
00:14:57,771 --> 00:14:58,813
What?
320
00:14:58,814 --> 00:15:01,482
'Do you know
any black people?'
321
00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:04,277
No, you don't.
322
00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:05,320
He don't know black people.
323
00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:07,113
Walk in the truth, sir.
324
00:15:07,114 --> 00:15:09,824
Walk in the truth.
That's all we trying to do.
325
00:15:09,825 --> 00:15:12,660
'Also, we were
taking donations.'
326
00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:16,707
Donations for reparations,
my white brother.
327
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:23,338
Why, you put a little
anger in this time.
328
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:24,255
See, that took it over.
I liked it.
329
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:26,466
'Well, I put a little bass
in my throat.'
330
00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:29,344
Right. The anger worked well.
I liked that.
331
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:34,515
You were like, "Sir, sir!"
I was...
332
00:15:34,516 --> 00:15:35,184
Yeah.
333
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,062
Uh...
334
00:15:39,063 --> 00:15:41,147
Jehovah l-loves you.
335
00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:43,524
Jehovah loves you.
336
00:15:43,525 --> 00:15:44,525
Oh, God!
337
00:15:44,526 --> 00:15:47,320
Get 'em, Jonesy! Get 'em!
338
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,494
Oh, God, I'm so hot.
339
00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:56,913
Oh.
340
00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:57,914
Does that feel good?
341
00:15:57,915 --> 00:15:59,874
- Yeah, it feels good.
- Yeah?
342
00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:01,876
- Yeah, you blowing on me?
- Yeah.
343
00:16:01,877 --> 00:16:03,252
Whoo! Whoo!
344
00:16:03,253 --> 00:16:06,255
Oh, God, that feels,
feels terrific.
345
00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:07,382
Yeah?
346
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:08,341
Let me blow on you.
347
00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:09,175
Oh, thank you.
348
00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:13,305
Oh, oh. That feels good.
349
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,474
Ooh, ooh.
350
00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:17,309
Oh, that feels good.
351
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:21,896
- Do me again.
- Oh, do you.
352
00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:23,231
- You do me.
- I'll do you.
353
00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:24,441
Oh.
354
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,584
Alright.
355
00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:44,585
What's going on, sir?
356
00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:45,586
Inside, come on.
357
00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:47,004
- Are there weapons, sir?
- No.
358
00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:51,592
You want some stick time?
359
00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:53,803
'No, leave her alone!'
360
00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:55,054
'Leave her alone!'
361
00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:55,222
Oh, look out!
362
00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:58,099
Look out!
363
00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:59,100
I got her this way!
364
00:17:02,396 --> 00:17:05,815
Get 'em, girl.
Get 'em, girl! Get 'em.
365
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,108
T.T.!
366
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,985
'Can anybody tell me
what's going on here?'
367
00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:11,612
'She told us that she had
fallen in love.'
368
00:17:11,613 --> 00:17:14,449
We put this whole
wedding together.
369
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:15,450
Calm down.
370
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:19,787
Everybody!
371
00:17:19,788 --> 00:17:21,581
I got an announcement.
372
00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:23,291
The groom is him.
373
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:26,127
Let the party begin.
Y'all come on.
374
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:28,254
'Yeah, the groom is here, T.T.'
375
00:17:28,255 --> 00:17:29,797
Hey, padre,
get over there and marry them.
376
00:17:29,798 --> 00:17:30,798
Just say, "I do."
377
00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:32,925
Okay, no,
that's not gonna happen.
378
00:17:32,926 --> 00:17:34,969
No, gimme that stick back.
379
00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:36,387
You give me that, ho, ho!
380
00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:40,641
No. Hey, hey, hey.
Ho, ho, ho.
381
00:17:40,642 --> 00:17:41,642
Okay.
382
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:47,148
Get him off!
383
00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:48,149
No, no, no!
384
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:50,985
Stop it!
385
00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:52,570
We are all going to jail.
386
00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:56,449
- Quit it!
- 'We are all going to jail.'
387
00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:57,868
'Alright.'
388
00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:05,958
I don't know about
this whole Williams business
389
00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:08,669
of wearing a
beekeeper's uniform
390
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:12,006
and claiming to pray to
some guy named "Mahalo"
391
00:18:12,007 --> 00:18:13,508
or whatever it is.
392
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:16,385
I think it's just crazy talk
and an excuse to get attention.
393
00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:19,972
I think she's trying
to get Jones all bothered
394
00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:21,224
and I think it's a waste of time
and I think it's dangerous.
395
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:24,143
And I don't know how
she can get to her guns
396
00:18:24,144 --> 00:18:27,814
or any of her weapons with
that big, long Batman cape on.
397
00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:30,817
I guess she's not allowed
to touch men
398
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:33,361
but it's okay for her
to shoot them and mace them
399
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:35,196
which is a weird distinction
400
00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:37,198
to make in any religion,
I think.
401
00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:39,408
Yeah.
402
00:18:39,409 --> 00:18:41,828
Yes, you ought to be able
to touch somebody.
403
00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:43,704
If you're gonna kill them, you
ought to be able to touch them.
404
00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:44,539
I agree.
405
00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:51,254
I'm getting used to this
whole look here.
406
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:53,339
You look like
Mary in the passion play
407
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:55,383
if the color's a little futzy.
408
00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:59,637
Yeah, and the vertical hold
is off a little bit.
409
00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:01,472
'You need to enjoy
the fruits of my bounty.'
410
00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:04,016
Uh, Williams. Uh--
411
00:19:04,017 --> 00:19:06,519
- Excuse me, "X."
- 'Right, right.'
412
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:09,730
- Raineesha X.
- Right, I got it.
413
00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:11,899
I got your request
here for paid leave
414
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,317
for the entire month of Ramadan
415
00:19:13,318 --> 00:19:16,654
because apparently
you have to fast and pray
416
00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:17,530
and you can't travel to work,
things like that.
417
00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:20,908
- That's right.
- An entire month, yeah.
418
00:19:20,909 --> 00:19:21,742
I've made it clear, didn't I?
419
00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:23,911
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I got it. And I got it.
420
00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:25,037
And stamped it approved
421
00:19:25,038 --> 00:19:28,416
and then, to the mail
at the station today came
422
00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:31,460
your reservations
at the Atlantis Resort Casino
423
00:19:31,461 --> 00:19:33,880
for 28 days of fun in the sun
424
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:36,549
'and a all-you-can-eat buffet.'
425
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:37,550
See--
426
00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:38,968
These aren't related, are they?
427
00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:41,388
'Okay! Okay, wait. Hold on.'
428
00:19:43,473 --> 00:19:44,766
I...
429
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,603
- Okay, you know what?
- I'm listening.
430
00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:49,979
The white devil's listening.
431
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:52,106
Yes, they're related, okay?
432
00:19:52,107 --> 00:19:54,692
I'm gonna go ahead,
and I'm gonna come clean.
433
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:56,111
I...
434
00:19:57,154 --> 00:20:00,573
I was saying what I was saying
about the nation
435
00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:03,784
'cause I wanted the whole month
off, so that's the truth.
436
00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:05,119
I appreciate your honesty.
437
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:07,788
I know you're probably not
gonna let me go now
438
00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:09,290
because of that
439
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:13,712
and so my tickets are gonna
basically be wasted, but...
440
00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:17,673
No, I don't care if you go.
You can go.
441
00:20:17,674 --> 00:20:20,468
Just, just don't lie.
442
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:21,802
I can go?
443
00:20:21,803 --> 00:20:24,014
Well, you got a lot of sick
leave, anyway, so...
444
00:20:25,682 --> 00:20:27,016
- Thank you.
- Sure.
445
00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:28,893
I appreciate that.
446
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:30,478
And sorry about
the "white devil" thing.
447
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:32,480
- Hey, I get it all the time.
- I was just playing.
448
00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:34,607
I get it all the time,
and worse.
449
00:20:34,608 --> 00:20:37,818
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
450
00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:40,655
Key chains for everybody?
Hah!
451
00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:42,365
Shot glass for you.
452
00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:45,034
I collect things
made out of clams.
453
00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:46,494
Nothing for you.
454
00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:58,005
to have the little,
wah-wah.
455
00:20:58,006 --> 00:20:59,048
Which one are you getting?
456
00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:00,383
'Cause you came
to me and you said
457
00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:02,093
you had two
procedures coming up.
458
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,845
One was a wah-wah,
and one was like a eaaahhh.
459
00:21:04,846 --> 00:21:08,517
No, this is, the four-day
procedure is wah-wah.
460
00:21:09,643 --> 00:21:11,352
I thought the nrrrr
461
00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:13,479
where they go in
the other way was longer.
462
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,983
'Which is the one where they're
gonna do a little camera?'
463
00:21:16,984 --> 00:21:18,859
That's a scraping.
That's a four-day.
464
00:21:18,860 --> 00:21:22,363
That's the four-day?
Which sound does it go with?
465
00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:23,907
And we all cross our legs.
33254
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