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1
00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:08,424
- You about ready?
- Yeah.
2
00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:09,883
Hey, we're out here testing
3
00:00:09,884 --> 00:00:12,261
our new high-tech
bulletproof vest.
4
00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:15,305
This vest, as the kids would
say, is the shiznit.
5
00:00:15,306 --> 00:00:17,224
Uh, junior will do
the honors here.
6
00:00:17,225 --> 00:00:18,268
'Ready?'
7
00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:22,271
Clear!
8
00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:27,151
Oh
9
00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:32,406
'Come here!'
10
00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:17,326
{\an8}'Um, I don't know if you know
but the Mexican'
11
00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:20,120
{\an8}'gentleman who
used to touch and hug'
12
00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:23,499
{\an8}the mannequins over at Walmart
13
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,876
{\an8}died in cell number four
last night.
14
00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:28,170
- What?
- Yeah.
15
00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:29,338
- Oh...
- 'Yeah.'
16
00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:31,882
I thought someone had fish.
17
00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:33,675
'No, no. Yeah.'
18
00:01:33,676 --> 00:01:35,260
They think either
Nick, The Grip got him
19
00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:37,679
or it was autoerotic
or something.
20
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,681
Oh, hey, quick update--
21
00:01:39,682 --> 00:01:41,850
How many, uh, tickets
to the policemen's ball
22
00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:43,227
have people been selling?
23
00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:46,146
- 'One. One and a half. Three?'
- Three.
24
00:01:46,147 --> 00:01:47,439
- 'Zero.'
- 'Zero.'
25
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:50,526
Either we're gonna really kick
in and really try and sell some
26
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:52,820
tickets or we're never gonna
have a [bleep] popcorn machine.
27
00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:54,447
We're not moving them, sir,
'cause you know why?
28
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,534
'"Firemen's pancake dinner.'
29
00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:00,536
'"Saturday, June first,
7:00 p.m. to midnight.'
30
00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:02,579
'Tickets, $25.
$35 at the door."'
31
00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:04,832
That's the same night as ours.
32
00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:06,834
Why would they do that?
Why would they do that
33
00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:07,835
unless out of spite?
34
00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:08,877
It's the exact same night.
35
00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:10,671
It's classic fireman
bull - [bleep].
36
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,464
'Who eats pancakes for dinner?'
37
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:13,674
I do sometimes.
38
00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:14,299
Pancakes and dinner is
39
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,260
first off, an anachronism.
40
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:18,095
You can't have a dog
around pancakes.
41
00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:19,137
That's not safe.
42
00:02:19,138 --> 00:02:20,305
'I was down on Virginia Street'
43
00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:22,057
and they had a wall
that was just
44
00:02:22,058 --> 00:02:23,725
like five on top of each other
45
00:02:23,726 --> 00:02:25,018
all the way down the block.
46
00:02:25,019 --> 00:02:26,395
It was just like...
It was like, "boom!" Yeah.
47
00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:28,272
We'll go talk to them. And...
We'll go talk to them.
48
00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:31,400
You mean you're going
to go talk to them
49
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:34,361
Or do you mean you're going
to go "talk" to them?
50
00:02:34,362 --> 00:02:36,905
We'll see how it goes,
play it by ear.
51
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:45,247
{\an8}They're trying to put out
our fire of enjoyment
52
00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:46,790
{\an8}on a night that we deserve
53
00:02:46,791 --> 00:02:50,460
for all the things that we
do to help this community.
54
00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:52,254
Flames don't jump at you
55
00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:53,630
at the speed a bullet
comes at you.
56
00:02:53,631 --> 00:02:54,923
Let's put it that way.
57
00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:56,884
So who's more important
in the community?
58
00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:58,218
You decide.
59
00:02:58,219 --> 00:03:00,137
And after you put out the fire
60
00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:03,307
the fire don't go hire
a lawyer and sue you.
61
00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:07,102
Nobody talks about the fire's
rights to be a fire.
62
00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:09,229
Have you ever heard of
a drive-by fire?
63
00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:11,940
- Nope.
- No, you haven't.
64
00:03:11,941 --> 00:03:13,567
Heroes, my ass.
65
00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:15,903
Bastards.
66
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:17,112
{\an8}Whoa, whoa, whoa,
what's going on?
67
00:03:17,113 --> 00:03:19,948
{\an8}- I didn't do nothing.
- Alright. Whoa.
68
00:03:19,949 --> 00:03:23,118
{\an8}I'm doing nothing wrong.
Nothing wrong.
69
00:03:23,119 --> 00:03:24,786
Where's your clothes, sir?
70
00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:27,289
Ain't no law that says
a man has to wear pants.
71
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:30,292
Yes, there is, sir.
There is--
72
00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:32,920
There is no law against
a man not wearing pants.
73
00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:35,339
There are laws, sir.
That you-you cannot wear--
74
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:37,424
It was,
it was not explained to me.
75
00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:39,343
It was not explained to me.
76
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:43,305
Don't ask, don't tell,
don't do it.
77
00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:45,140
Put on your...
You put on your pants!
78
00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:46,350
- I have--
- You put on your pants!
79
00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:47,643
Sir, I have pants on.
80
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,811
You put on
another pair of pants!
81
00:03:49,812 --> 00:03:51,939
You put on
two pair of pants!
82
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,440
What's that stuff
on your nose?
83
00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:54,942
I'm baking a cake.
84
00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:56,068
- 'You're baking a cake?'
- 'You're baking a cake?'
85
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:59,988
It's my mother's birthday,
and I'm baking her a cake.
86
00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:01,407
You sure
that's not drugs, sir?
87
00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:04,827
Ain't no law against drugs.
88
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:09,498
I know my rules.
I know my rules.
89
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:14,169
You give me three phone call
and two meal.
90
00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:16,214
I get a last meal
before you go.
91
00:04:20,259 --> 00:04:21,510
{\an8}Do I think the firemen
moved their pancake dinner
92
00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:24,346
{\an8}to the same night
as the policemen's ball...
93
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:27,391
{\an8}...to spite us?
94
00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:29,851
Is the pope friends
with Mel Gibson?
95
00:04:29,852 --> 00:04:32,854
Yes, they did it to spite us.
96
00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:33,605
- They're jealous.
- Because they're jealous.
97
00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:37,192
Firemen are jealous of us cops.
98
00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:38,652
Look at their day.
Look at their day.
99
00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:40,487
They work out.
100
00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:41,655
They wash things.
101
00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:42,698
They watch porn.
102
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:43,907
They work out again.
103
00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:45,325
They watch more porn.
104
00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:46,576
They polish poles.
105
00:04:46,577 --> 00:04:47,537
Then they have
a big old steak dinner.
106
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:58,256
- They're jealous of us.
- They're jealous of us.
107
00:04:59,924 --> 00:05:02,051
{\an8}- 'Sheriff's department.'
- 'Hey!'
108
00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:05,512
{\an8}- Hey.
- Yeah.
109
00:05:05,513 --> 00:05:07,597
{\an8}- How's it going?
- Good. Reno's finest.
110
00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:08,474
- 'Ha ha!'
- Ha ha!
111
00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:12,686
You, you meant us, right?
112
00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:14,229
You meant us? Right.
Good.
113
00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:16,106
Uh, hey, look, uh,
we came about...
114
00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:17,607
We saw your posters, uh,
for your pancake dinner.
115
00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:18,608
- Oh.
- Yeah.
116
00:05:18,609 --> 00:05:21,194
It, uh, yeah, seems like, uh
117
00:05:21,195 --> 00:05:22,112
there's been
some kind of mix-up.
118
00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:24,531
It's the same night
as our policemen's ball.
119
00:05:24,532 --> 00:05:26,199
Wow, that'll be fun!
120
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,909
No, see, the-the thing is that
121
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:30,746
you've booked, uh, you booked
the upstairs of the VFW there.
122
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:32,914
- Yeah, it's a great space.
- Yeah, the Casablanca room.
123
00:05:32,915 --> 00:05:34,124
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Nice.
124
00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:38,962
We're-we're down in room "B"
at the same time, same night.
125
00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:40,714
Oh, wow, you guys
should come up.
126
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:42,132
You like pancakes?
127
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:43,050
Who's the ranking
officer here?
128
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,551
That's your man. Yeah.
Here's the boss.
129
00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:45,552
Hey, stop it.
130
00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:48,055
Let's take a walk
for a second.
131
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,765
Uh, we can't move the tickets
132
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:51,933
'cause of your little affair
that you're having here.
133
00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:53,977
This-this-this cockamamie
pancake dinner.
134
00:05:53,978 --> 00:05:56,396
Hey.
It's a charity.
135
00:05:56,397 --> 00:05:58,273
- It's for charity? Oh!
- It's for charity.
136
00:05:58,274 --> 00:05:59,733
Oh, pancake dinner
for charity then.
137
00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:01,318
I'd like to move it,
but we can't
138
00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:03,153
because, you know,
there's kids here.
139
00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:05,739
You're talking crutches, you're
talking kids without legs.
140
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:08,283
Exactly, which kind of foils
your argument
141
00:06:08,284 --> 00:06:10,118
because you have to
go get them, obviously.
142
00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:11,745
They're not, you know,
renting limos
143
00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:12,621
and coming to your
pancake dinner, I don't think.
144
00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:14,831
So you go get them anytime.
145
00:06:14,832 --> 00:06:16,124
They're-they're cripples, right?
146
00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:18,460
Well, Merv Griffin,
God bless him.
147
00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:20,337
He's donated 15 limousines.
148
00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:22,839
So we're going to just pack them
with, uh, you know...
149
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:24,758
You actually are picking up
crippled children
150
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:25,759
in limousines for your dinner?
151
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:26,760
Yeah.
152
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:30,680
Um, you want
to talk about them?
153
00:06:30,681 --> 00:06:32,307
- 'The panty hose?'
- Yeah.
154
00:06:32,308 --> 00:06:34,684
- My legs get cold.
- 'Cool.'
155
00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:37,646
I'm asking you nice.
Come on, man.
156
00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:39,022
You've played
every card on me.
157
00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:40,524
You played the,
"Oh, it's for charity."
158
00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:41,775
Ours is for charity, too.
159
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,819
The charity just happens
to be us, okay?
160
00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:45,028
What are we doing?
161
00:06:45,029 --> 00:06:46,488
Winner moves their dinner?
162
00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:47,322
Cross the line.
163
00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:48,532
Cross the line,
you move your dinner.
164
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:50,826
It's not fair you're
not in panty hose.
165
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,661
- One, two, three.
- Ah [bleep].
166
00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:53,703
There he goes.
167
00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:55,163
Okay, you're gonna pull
something.
168
00:06:55,164 --> 00:06:56,457
Okay. Forget it.
Let's go.
169
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:08,802
Hey, uh,
I had an awesome idea
170
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:10,470
for the policemen's ball.
171
00:07:10,471 --> 00:07:12,681
Ready?
Is your seat belt buckled?
172
00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:14,015
- Yes, it is.
- I already know.
173
00:07:14,016 --> 00:07:17,060
I don't even have to look.
You ready? Here's what it is.
174
00:07:17,061 --> 00:07:19,062
You and me...
175
00:07:19,063 --> 00:07:23,024
...get one
of the big hummer limo.
176
00:07:23,025 --> 00:07:25,694
You and me, hummer time
and we go...
177
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,988
We party
178
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:31,366
and we get a whole bunch
of Bud and Bud Light
179
00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:33,869
fill up, and then we,
we cruise over
180
00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:36,705
and we, you know, raise the roof
a little bit.
181
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:40,542
A couple of wildcats
in there, you know.
182
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:41,918
Just us in a hummer and then
183
00:07:41,919 --> 00:07:43,044
we go to the policemen's ball.
184
00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:45,380
As tempting as that sounds, sir
185
00:07:45,381 --> 00:07:47,382
uh, I've already made plans.
186
00:07:47,383 --> 00:07:50,093
I've already made plans,
lieutenant, with Williamson.
187
00:07:50,094 --> 00:07:52,596
You don't want to do-do
you and me in a hummer?
188
00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:53,847
Come on, you and me.
189
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:56,516
Well, you make a lot more
money than I do.
190
00:07:56,517 --> 00:07:57,559
Hummer time.
191
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,186
- Okay.
- Okay, yeah?
192
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,563
- No. No, not okay.
- Okay. No.
193
00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:03,356
I'm just saying,
don't hit me anymore.
194
00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:03,732
Oh.
195
00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:09,738
{\an8}'How y'all doin'?'
196
00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:10,864
You ever meet a real, live
197
00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:12,366
deputy sheriff before?
198
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:17,704
So who here wants to be a cop
when they grow up, huh?
199
00:08:17,705 --> 00:08:20,790
Which one of you guys... or girl?
200
00:08:20,791 --> 00:08:24,836
Uh, I've got something.
201
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:28,381
Who wants to see
my thumb infection?
202
00:08:28,382 --> 00:08:29,883
No, no.
203
00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:31,801
Oh, my God,
it's the fire department!
204
00:08:31,802 --> 00:08:34,054
How you doing, guys?
205
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:36,890
How's it going?
206
00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:37,849
Good to see you.
207
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:40,393
Sally!
208
00:08:40,394 --> 00:08:42,896
Throw me a high-five!
209
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,689
You know, we got some time off,
we decided to come down here.
210
00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:46,775
'Good! I'm glad!'
211
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:47,817
This is great
all of us could be here.
212
00:08:47,818 --> 00:08:50,487
You guys came here
on your time off?
213
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,322
Well, we were upstairs
giving some blood.
214
00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:53,949
Yeah, when
we're not fighting crime
215
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:56,493
we're in here
fightin' frowns
216
00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:57,619
with these fellas.
217
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:58,828
Like shoot those frowns
off of your face.
218
00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:01,957
Right in the face!
219
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:02,832
Blow it out.
Blow it out.
220
00:09:02,833 --> 00:09:04,876
That's so much better
than last week.
221
00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:06,086
You're getting stronger
every week.
222
00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:07,254
Here, take a shot at me.
223
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:08,797
Take a shot at me
This thing'll stop it.
224
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:10,674
- Hey.
- Hey-hey, yeah.
225
00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:12,467
Who likes pancakes?
226
00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:15,303
Ooh, we do!
We love pancakes.
227
00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:16,805
We're having a pancake dinner.
And, uh...
228
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,807
They're not
just for breakfast.
229
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:22,477
No, they're not,
but we're charging a hug.
230
00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:23,812
- Who's got a hug?
- 'We're charging $25.'
231
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:27,482
You got a hug. Alright.
There's one for you.
232
00:09:27,483 --> 00:09:30,360
There's a certain amount
of too much fun
233
00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:31,820
that we can bestow.
234
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:34,240
We don't want
your aneurysms to...
235
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:40,287
{\an8}Alright,
what we have here
236
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:43,290
{\an8}is a direct violation
of a court order.
237
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:44,666
He was given 14 days to
take this [bleep] down
238
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:48,211
and he has not taken
this [bleep] down.
239
00:09:48,212 --> 00:09:50,005
'Yesterday was day 15.'
240
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:51,673
- 'Look at all that crap.'
- Middle of summer.
241
00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:54,592
Middle of summer,
he's got all this garbage up.
242
00:09:54,593 --> 00:09:56,636
- Sheriff's department!
- Sheriff's department!
243
00:09:56,637 --> 00:09:58,847
I'm not...
You don't beat my door down.
244
00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:00,765
You're not dealing with a--
245
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:02,475
Out.
Out.
246
00:10:02,476 --> 00:10:03,059
In there.
247
00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:04,978
Put your hand in there.
248
00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:07,522
Put your hand in there [bleep].
249
00:10:07,523 --> 00:10:08,440
Okay, this is what happens
250
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:09,899
when you
with the Reno city council
251
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:11,860
do you understand me?
252
00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:14,029
This is what happens.
You get nutcracked.
253
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,363
{\an8}You're lucky
it's your hand in there.
254
00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:16,865
{\an8}Next, it's your nuts.
You understand me?
255
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:20,160
Do you understand me?
Do you understand me?
256
00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:21,745
I had a very cumbersome year.
A very cumbersome year.
257
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:24,164
And each one of these
decorations
258
00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:25,081
represents a moment in my life
259
00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:26,750
that was very cumbersome
this year, alright?
260
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,877
- So...
- Crack him.
261
00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:31,046
Okay, Alright!
Alright!
262
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:32,922
Say "cumbersome"
one more time [bleep].
263
00:10:32,923 --> 00:10:34,758
Say "cumbersome"
one more time to me.
264
00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:36,051
- Cumbersome.
- Cumbersome.
265
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:38,428
Stop lying!
266
00:10:38,429 --> 00:10:39,929
And do not
with the city council!
267
00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:42,599
Look, I just told you.
I just told you.
268
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,685
Why must you
with them, Andrew?
269
00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:47,854
'Cause I got nothing
better to do.
270
00:10:47,855 --> 00:10:49,272
There you got it.
271
00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:50,106
I feel like that's
the very first honesty
272
00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:51,941
we've ever gotten out
of this man.
273
00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:52,901
- What's your problem, Andrew?
- What is your problem?
274
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:57,072
We are out here every damn
couple of weeks.
275
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:58,406
That's-that's just it.
276
00:10:58,407 --> 00:11:00,950
You come, and you-you
charge me with something.
277
00:11:00,951 --> 00:11:03,912
Maybe you throw me in, maybe
destroy something of my property
278
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:05,038
and then we just leave...
279
00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:06,414
We don't, we don't talk.
280
00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:07,916
We don't say things. You know.
281
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,584
We don't say, "Hey,
what's going on with you?"
282
00:11:09,585 --> 00:11:12,087
Just, "Andrew,
you did this again!"
283
00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:13,421
Maybe that's our fault.
We haven't...
284
00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:16,299
It's crazy. You just had my hand
in a nutcracker.
285
00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:17,926
We haven't made enough...
286
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:21,554
We haven't been open
to you as a non-perpetrator
287
00:11:21,555 --> 00:11:22,764
as just a person.
288
00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:25,600
I respect that. I respect you've
got to do your job, alright?
289
00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:26,559
I'm not currently employed
290
00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:28,937
so my job is to sort of
mix the things up.
291
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:32,482
We don't need anybody
in Reno to mix the things up.
292
00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:33,984
We don't.
Andrew, you sit down.
293
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:39,656
{\an8}You made the wrong choice.
294
00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:41,241
{\an8}That's why you're
in traffic school.
295
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:43,076
{\an8}Rolling stop, DUI.
296
00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:45,620
{\an8}Whatever you did,
it was wrong.
297
00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:47,455
Today you can make
the right choice.
298
00:11:47,456 --> 00:11:49,958
You can either sit here
for eight hours
299
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:53,128
take this traffic school course
300
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:57,966
or you can buy a ticket
to the policemen's ball.
301
00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:00,635
Huh? Huh?
302
00:12:00,636 --> 00:12:01,970
Hmm?
303
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:04,056
I think I'd rather
take the class.
304
00:12:13,357 --> 00:12:14,023
{\an8}Hey, boys.
How you doing?
305
00:12:14,024 --> 00:12:16,317
'How you doin'?'
306
00:12:16,318 --> 00:12:17,318
- Good.
- Great.
307
00:12:17,319 --> 00:12:18,736
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
308
00:12:18,737 --> 00:12:20,155
Nicely done.
309
00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:22,365
- Oh!
- The boot.
310
00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:24,325
Oh, wow.
What happened?
311
00:12:24,326 --> 00:12:26,327
You got us this time, guys.
Good job.
312
00:12:26,328 --> 00:12:29,497
One for you so let's go ahead
and take the boot off.
313
00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:32,834
Aw, man, uh...
314
00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:34,502
'You got the key?'
315
00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:37,297
- I don't have a key.
- I don't have a key, fellas.
316
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:39,674
Okay, mustache, what's it going
to take to lose the boot?
317
00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:42,010
Maybe if a certain
pancake party
318
00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:44,471
was moved to a certain...
319
00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:47,891
Different day
then maybe we could...
320
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,517
Just take the boot off. Come on.
321
00:12:49,518 --> 00:12:51,519
This is not protecting
or serving anyone.
322
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,814
Guys, we got to go.
Let's go.
323
00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:58,234
Lose the boot,
seriously. Let's go.
324
00:12:58,235 --> 00:13:00,361
'No, you have the key.
I gave you the key.'
325
00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:02,363
You didn't give the key
to me. You have the key.
326
00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:03,031
Girls, girls, let's go!
The boot.
327
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,032
I'll be back in five minutes.
328
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:06,493
I can get the key.
It'll take five minutes.
329
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:08,828
You know what?
Fire doesn't wait five minutes.
330
00:13:08,829 --> 00:13:09,996
- Let's go on foot!
- Let's go!
331
00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:12,165
You're Reno's pride!
You're Reno's pride!
332
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:13,751
Let's go!
Let's go!
333
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,297
We're [bleep] pathetic.
334
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:22,592
Nice joke.
335
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:23,135
We're regular Jay Lenos.
336
00:13:29,808 --> 00:13:32,268
We're going to have
a great time at our party
337
00:13:32,269 --> 00:13:35,063
even if,
even if worst-case scenario
338
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,189
only 300 people show up.
339
00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:38,066
We're still going to have
an amazing time at our party.
340
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:40,693
You know why?
341
00:13:40,694 --> 00:13:43,863
'Cause I've been practicing
my dance moves.
342
00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:47,575
♪ Chicken lickin' ♪
343
00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:50,411
♪ Mashed potaters ♪
344
00:13:50,412 --> 00:13:53,122
I don't think that's what's...
345
00:13:53,123 --> 00:13:54,624
I don't know.
346
00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:07,720
Jones!
What's going on?
347
00:14:07,721 --> 00:14:09,472
Uh, it's a hostage situation.
348
00:14:09,473 --> 00:14:10,223
I don't know
what this fella's up to
349
00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:12,100
'but he's getting real nervous'
350
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:13,393
'and we have to talk to him.'
351
00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:14,644
Maybe you should give it
a shot.
352
00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:16,771
Okay.
Hold on there, sir!
353
00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:17,981
Hold on!
354
00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:19,315
Sir!
355
00:14:19,316 --> 00:14:21,025
Hold it right there, sir!
356
00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:22,277
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
357
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:23,778
Hold it right there, sir.
358
00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:26,447
We're going. We have to get to
this very important place.
359
00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:29,075
- What place?
- An important meeting.
360
00:14:29,076 --> 00:14:31,119
'Are you on anything tonight?
Are you on any...'
361
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:34,289
Did you take any drugs?
Did you drink any alcohol?
362
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:37,125
- A little bit of ecstasy.
- A little bit of ecstasy.
363
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:40,461
Why don't you hand those to me?
Can I see those?
364
00:14:40,462 --> 00:14:41,170
This is not mine.
I cannot give...
365
00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:43,298
- This is not mine.
- Okay.
366
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:45,425
This is my grandfather's.
His special medication.
367
00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:46,134
See?
368
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:48,845
It's just... Little and tiny...
369
00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:51,639
'Okay, why don't you...
No more.'
370
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:53,182
Let's not take
any more of those.
371
00:14:53,183 --> 00:14:55,852
- I'm sorry. He's got...
- Get the cuffs on him.
372
00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,645
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
373
00:14:57,646 --> 00:14:59,147
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey, hey!
374
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:01,316
Hey, hey!
375
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,568
- Freeze! Freeze!
- Freeze!
376
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:04,986
Hey! Hey! Hey!
377
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:06,029
No, no, no, no, no, no!
378
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:08,865
- No, No!
- Stop it! Stop!
379
00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:13,953
That's not important now.
380
00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:16,205
- 'There you go.'
- Thank you.
381
00:15:16,206 --> 00:15:18,499
I see you're not
a stranger to these, huh?
382
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,501
♪ In the biggest little city
in the world ♪
383
00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:23,838
♪ We dance in the biggest
little city in the world ♪
384
00:15:23,839 --> 00:15:26,132
Someone should go and get the
pills...
385
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:27,884
Get your crazy ass
up in the car.
386
00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:30,011
Hey! Take me away spaceship...
387
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:32,847
'We'll see you
at the station.'
388
00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:34,849
- 'Where do you live?'
- 'Where do you live, sir?'
389
00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:37,226
Where do we take you, sir?
390
00:15:37,227 --> 00:15:38,227
Maybe just...
391
00:15:38,228 --> 00:15:41,814
The new cir-cir-circus.
392
00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:44,359
Okay, yeah, that's on,
it's on fourth and Virginia.
393
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,986
- Let's go circus-circus.
- Alright.
394
00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:53,159
'Shut the [bleep] up
back there.'
395
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,162
Jesus Christ.
396
00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:01,334
{\an8}Last year I didn't go
to the policemen's ball
397
00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:03,920
{\an8}because I had the flu...
398
00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:06,839
{\an8}...and I didn't have nobody
to watch my kids
399
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:08,216
and Shanika
couldn't do my hair.
400
00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:10,218
Uh, I just had a lot
of problems last year.
401
00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:14,889
I didn't even go.
Did you go?
402
00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:17,183
Yeah, I took old Roy Beckhardt
last year.
403
00:16:17,184 --> 00:16:20,144
Roy works on my car.
404
00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:24,232
Not my squad car,
but my regular Datsun B-210.
405
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:25,441
He had a good time there.
406
00:16:25,442 --> 00:16:27,443
He won a, he won a dinner
407
00:16:27,444 --> 00:16:29,028
for two at Honeybaked Ham
408
00:16:29,029 --> 00:16:30,738
on the wheel-of-fortune thing
409
00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:33,908
and so now he's giving me good
deals on fixing my car.
410
00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:35,536
So I guess it all worked out.
411
00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:45,753
'They've been cramped up
forever down there.'
412
00:16:45,754 --> 00:16:47,755
'Like pigs in poop.
Couldn't be happier.'
413
00:16:47,756 --> 00:16:49,132
- Show-offs!
- Show-offs!
414
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:52,219
- Damn.
- Damn.
415
00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:55,930
'That's a dog.'
416
00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:57,432
'That's a dog in there.'
417
00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,809
- Not our department.
- I think you're right.
418
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:00,768
What do you mean,
not our department?
419
00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:03,479
Their department, man.
Not our department.
420
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:04,939
- 'Oh, hey, hey!'
- 'No.'
421
00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:06,107
- 'Travis, come here.'
- 'Travis! Travis!'
422
00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:09,610
Holy [bleep].
423
00:17:09,611 --> 00:17:12,363
Are you kidding me?
He's not trained for that.
424
00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:14,282
- I didn't tell him to do that.
- He just took off.
425
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:17,034
Last thing you want to do
is send somebody else
426
00:17:17,035 --> 00:17:17,994
into a burning building.
427
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:18,745
Now we have to go get him.
428
00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:21,456
He's basically
feeding the fire.
429
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,958
- I-I-I didn't send him, okay?
- 'Nobody sent him.'
430
00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:26,335
- That's suicide.
- 'Travis!'
431
00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:28,004
'Travis!'
432
00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:31,799
Oh, my God!
433
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,470
- 'Way to go.'
- How about that?
434
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:36,971
'That's how we do it!'
435
00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:39,016
That's how we do it!
436
00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:41,517
Good job, buddy.
437
00:17:41,518 --> 00:17:43,269
That's the sheriff's department, baby.
438
00:17:43,270 --> 00:17:44,479
Okay, Mark's out with the baby.
439
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,314
We got Mark out of the building.
He's got the baby.
440
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:47,608
We're all clear.
441
00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:51,403
Way to go on the dog.
442
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:57,200
- 'You're still a hero, man.'
- You still a good dog.
443
00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:58,618
Good dog.
444
00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:01,496
- Hey, wait!
- No! No!
445
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:02,998
'Oh, poop.'
446
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:18,638
They've got to be
breaking the fire code.
447
00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:20,014
Oh, no question.
448
00:18:20,015 --> 00:18:24,393
If we could get past the
bouncer, we could...
449
00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:26,020
...do something about it.
450
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:29,190
I don't mean... any disrespect
451
00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:31,234
but [bleep] firemen, you know?
452
00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:34,737
I'll bet you that's what
Clem is doing right now.
453
00:18:34,738 --> 00:18:37,282
Floyd, you're a shoo-in
for the raffle!
454
00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:40,326
- 'Stop it on two.'
- 'Number two.'
455
00:18:40,327 --> 00:18:43,329
- 'He wins.'
- 'Stop it on two.'
456
00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:45,039
- 'That's forty-two.'
- 'That's four.'
457
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,083
'Here.'
458
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,167
- 'Two!'
- Two!
459
00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:49,669
- 'Two!'
- 'Two!'
460
00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:53,422
- 'Floyd!'
- You won a ski-doo, Floyd!
461
00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:54,549
- 'He can't hear.'
- 'Okay.'
462
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:55,758
- Does he understand me?
- 'No.'
463
00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:57,426
'He can't hear you at all,
I don't think.'
464
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,068
You know what?
465
00:19:14,069 --> 00:19:15,778
I got an idea.
466
00:19:15,779 --> 00:19:17,780
How about we all
just go home?
467
00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:20,199
it.
We lost.
468
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,200
Let's get out of here.
469
00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:21,951
- 'I agree.'
- 'No, no!'
470
00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:24,328
Because that's exactly...
No, no.
471
00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:25,371
That's exactly what
472
00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:28,124
those beautiful [bleep] oily
473
00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:30,793
Mediterranean types up there
474
00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:32,253
and their Dalmatian
want us to do.
475
00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:33,504
Do you understand me?
476
00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:34,422
That's what we
want us to do.
477
00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:38,467
I-I also would like
to go home, too.
34547
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