Original subtitles

Reno dispatch, this is 14-David-21

on 400 South Virginia Street.

We are requesting immediate backup.

- Immediate backup. - Corner of Peckham.

Corner of Peckham.

Corner of Peckham and Virginia.

Uh, bring the jaws of life and maybe a forklift.

Yeah, yeah. *** dammit.

I really thought you was gonna make that corner--

I thought so too. I took it pretty tight

but I thought I was gonna make it.

- Aah! - Oh! You alright there?

Coffee up my nose. Oh, it's real hot.

- Ah! - So, you got coffee nose.

- Whoo! - 'Come here!'

Oh! Oh! Ah!

Wait, no. Whoa!

'Good morning, people.'

Well, apparently, the Hells Angels

who own that brothel out there, out on 80...

They're doing a program, uh, hand in your gun for a, uh...

Uh.

- 'Hand ***?' - Yeah.

"Hand guns for hand ***. That's what the poster said.

Yeah, they wanted us to sponsor that, you know

but, uh, up there said, "Unh-unh."

- Hey, guys. - Can I help you, sir?

Uh, just the lady out, out front said that

maybe I could talk to Trudy for a second.

The lady out front was wrong, sir.

We are in a meeting. She is working right now.

I can talk to you for a... Uh, hold on.

Let me talk to him for one second.

God, so rude.

- Hi. - '25 seconds. Go, sir.'

- Hey, Trude. What's going on? - How are you?

- 'How are you doing?' - How are you?

- Good. I got you this. - Thank you.

'This is kind of, it's kind of personal.'

Yeah? Tur... Can you turn around? God.

'I was just wondering if you'd like to, maybe'

go grab a, a cup of coffee sometime?

- I would love to. - 'Alright.'

So I guess I'll, I'll call you or something.

- Okay. - What's your number?

You can just call 911, or you can just stop by here any time.

It would be fine if you wanted to stop by at any time.

Alright, great. Sorry to, sorry to inconvenience...

- It wasn't an inconvenience. - I didn't get your name.

Uh, Pullin. Craig Pullin.

- 'Craig Pullin.' - Okay.

- See you later, Trudy. - Thank you, Craig.

Bye.

♪ Two little retards sittin' in a tree ♪

- I think it's cute. - Shut up!

You don't think it's cute!

You think it's funny, and you think it's pathetic.

and you think it's sad.

Well, F you. F you, and *** you.

- Did everyone see this? - Holy ***!

Oh, my, God! That's the guy.

'Run it, run it through the computer. P-U-L-L-I-N.'

- 'What should we do?' - Let's get him...

No, no don't... We-we can't do that.

'We have nothing. We have no evidence.'

If we jump on him with no evidence

Trudy will say it's just 'cause we're trying

to *** up her life again.

'Find his home address. Find his home address.'

We need to get close to him, we need to find out what we can.

I'm taking Trudy to Sears for a makeover later

and I will have some girl-talk time

and I will find out what she knows about him.

Can I google him?

It's the *** sheriff's computer, don't use Google.

You've been wa... Looking up too much pornography

and you forgot how the regular sheriff's computer works.

'You've got to get in there!'

I, I need, I need my novel! My novel's in there!

- 'It's the only copy I have.' - Is it inside the building?

Yes, please, go get it. It's the only copy.

- 'Um...' - 'Well, that's really...'

- Uh, is it good? - Come on! Come on!

Is it, is it a good novel, sir?

Yes, it's good. It's-it's like a thriller.

It's... Just, just please go get it.

- What, uh, what's it about? - Yeah.

- The thriller... - Guy's dad dies.

Uh, he never knew him. He was like nine when he died.

Uh, 20 years later, he starts getting letters in the mail.

He finds out that it's his dad that's been sending them.

Uh, he's trying to solve his own murder, so--

Sir, sir, sir, sir, I want to help you.

I want to help you, but your novel sounds an awful lot

like a movie with Dennis Quaid called "Frequency."

- 'Well, not only that...' - It don't ring a bell at all?

It's not ringing a bell at all?

Sir, will you please go get my novel?

I have a novel, please.

'It's on the second floor. It's the only copy I have.'

'Please, it's the only copy I have.'

- No, no, no. - 'No, no, no.'

And it's, and it's a rip-off of "Frequency."

The guy in the present starts getting letters

from his dead father trying to solve the murder

giving him clues, and it's about a reconciliation.

It's about a father and son reconciliation.

Uh, uh, that's "Encyclopedia Brown

The Case Of The dead Letter Office."

Do you think the "Frequency" guy ripped it off

from "Encyclopedia Brown?"

Ooh, I don't know...

I don't think it's a new literary device.

Who's that other guy, the really handsome guy?

- Randy Quaid. - No, D-Dennis.

- No, Randy. - No, Dennis.

I think I'm on fire a little bit...

Do I think, uh, Craig Pullin is the Truckee River killer?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

And it's the best she's gonna do.

Yeah.

What we should do is show off your legs

because you really have good legs, Trudy.

- I do? So... - I do have to say that. Yes.

I think something like this would be very cute

and then maybe a turtleneck to hide the, the hump in your back.

I know you're trying to be nice

but you don't have a sense of style

and I do, so I'm just gonna take, take over.

- Okay. - For you, you do.

For a, for a sort of whorish kind of

I don't have self-esteem, you look great.

Thank you. Trudy, what...

'Give me, you gotta give me something to work with here.'

What, what color does he like? What's his favorite color?

What do you know about this guy? What does he...

- Tell me about him. - Don't know his favorite color.

I know that he has a lot of

um, things that are sort of black

and he actually had, his sheets are blood-colored.

It's like a deep burgundy, blood color.

He has a lot of that. I don't know.

Clemmy, he's a genius.

He has... The, the man knits sweaters out of human hair.

Who does that?

I just, I think I'm really falling for this guy.

I mean, for the very first time in my life, I feel like...

With the combination of the antidepressants

which are working very well

I have a great combination of that and him

I feel like I might make it another year.

Okay.

Excuse me, I hate to interrupt the party

but we're gonna have to move this way.

Sir, could you, could you please go get my novel?

It's on the second floor of my house.

'It's the only copy I have.'

- 'No.' - 'Whoa, whoa! No!'

- 'It sucks! It's not good!' - 'Listen...'

'We are doing you a favor by not getting that novel.'

'Tell, tell the firefighters.'

- 'Tell the brave firefighters.' - They're not gonna like it.

- 'Tell him.' - Try me.

Please, sir, give us a brief description of the novel.

Guy's father dies 20 years ago.

Guy starts getting letters from his dead father

trying to solve the murder.

"Frequency."

How did yours end? Did it have a twist of some kind?

He found out who murdered him, and then he...

'What? Then what? Then what?'

- Just say it. Spit it out. - 'It doesn't matter.'

No, it does matter. We care, we want to know.

You know what, if you can't get excited about your work

why would you expect anybody else to?

Oh, lookie here. Lookie here.

A couple of little "Bill Nye The Science Guys."

- Shut it off right now! - 'Shut it now...'

Turn it off right now! Off!

- 'Shut it off.' - 'Step away from the go-cart.'

- Step away from the... - Step back.

Shut it now, right now, son!

Don't go nowhere. Where you going?

- 'Don't make me tell you...' - 'Where are you going?'

Get over here. Your mama know you're here?

- Mama know you are here. - 'Uh, no.'

She know you're here on a state park committing a felony?

No tags, felony number two, son.

- 'I didn't know.' - That's two felonies.

- Don't you go rabbit on me. - What's your mama's phone...

What's your mama's phone number? We gotta call her.

- I don't know. - You don't know? Why?

- She know you're here? - Don't you run.

- Does she know you're here? - Don't you dare run.

- Don't you go! Don't you go! - Don't you dare! No, you don't!

No, you don't! No, you don't!

- Can I go first? - Alright.

I'm after you though.

- Fire it up! - 'Here we go. Here we go.'

- 'You ready?' - Yeah, I'm ready. Go for it

Light it up. Gas it, gas it!

Three, two, one!

- 'Oh, ***!' - Aah! ***!

- ♪ aah! Aah! Oh! Oh! - Hold on. Dammit. ***.

He wrote a poem for me on our first date

that was so beautiful, and it was...

I can't paraphrase, you know, poetry 'cause I don't, uh

I don't know my nouns from my verbs

but, uh, it was something like

"If I could saw through your chest bones

"and pull out your heart

"I would swallow it

"and have you forever

till I die and you die..."

Uh, something about dying, dying, we both die, something.

I'm not, you know, I'm not a good paraphraser.

You know, the, the likeness between Craig

and the Truckee River killer is eerie

but Craig's also just one of those

little, weird, white people, you know

who looks like a serial killer.

I think when we go to the barbecue over there

let's just...

We'll keep them separated, keep him talking

and we'll do as much recon as we possibly can.

Craig is so... He's good at absolutely everything.

I took a cooking class last year

but I was sick most of it.

But I got the, the grilling part.

Craig took a screen-door-making class.

- 'I made that screen door.' - He made this screen door.

- Get out! Get out of town. - Yeah.

You have no idea how much work, right, honey

goes into these.

And they're really cheap to buy.

You know, to make that, it took me four years.

- What are... What's your... - Four years? Really?

Well, I notice you got, uh...

- Got your own meat grinder. - Grinder there.

'Yup, I make my own meats.'

'I make my meats.'

I-I mix different stuff. Chicken and burgers and sausages.

Do you guys like sausages and burgers and everything?

- Can't wait, Craig. - Yeah.

I'm gonna slip off to the little boys' room.

It's where I think it is, right?

Yeah, just right around the corner there.

- Yeah. - Just around the way.

It smells like formaldehyde back there a little bit.

- Yeah, sorry about the smell. - Yeah.

I pickle, I pickle things.

My uncle's, my uncle's a surgeon, he lent me...

Hey, Clemmy!

Yeah?

Could I, uh, borrow some of your bronzer?

Yes, you can. I'll be back.

'They seem really nice.'

No, they're not nice at all.

- They're horrible people. - Oh, they're not?

- 'What is that?' - 'A huge size birdcage.'

- 'With a ball in it.' - One hell of a perch.

There's a perch, there's a giant 50 gallon

broom in the backroom there.

All the biohazard stuff all around.

What's with all the biohazard stuff?

'Nobody likes a...'

- Craig. - Craig's back!

You got some stuff in here, mister.

Yeah, I got some great, classic pieces in here.

- I gotta ask... - This is my favorite room.

Curiosity's killing my cat.

What's with the human-sized birdcage?

Oh, this, I just think birds should have

a lot of room to fly around, you know.

They're given the gift of flight

so why trap them in a little cage?

Sure, why not give them a human-sized cage?

- And that... - Whoa!

Wow. Look at that.

Yeah, this is, this is for chopping off fingers.

I'm just kidding.

And I like to call this section

take three or lose eight.

In the future, you can either take

your three seconds to properly stop

or you can lose your eight hours in traffic school, okay?

So normally, in your head, you're gonna count

when you see a stop sign, you're gonna count one, two...

And I know you, you're not gonna do the three.

You're gonna go, one, two, go! Boom! Too soon.

So what you need to say in your head, instead of one, two, go

is one, two, no, okay?

Now, as you say that no

that in turn, has taken up the third second.

You see what I'm saying?

Then, you're gonna go, four

put the pedal to the floor.

Let's say everybody gets here all at once.

If you all got here at the same time

well, y'all have the right of way.

It's always the person on your right

but there's a person on my right.

There's a person on my right.

There's a person on my right, nobody knows who's right.

What you do in that situation is G and R

gun it and run it.

And beat the other guy across. Okay?

That's lunch.

- Honey, I'm gonna move this. - 'Hey.'

- It was on the food table. - 'Oh!'

I'm afraid it might be unsanitary...

Oh, oh, good thinking. She's so smart.

She thinks of everything. You think of everything.

Aw!

- Isn't she great, you guys? - She's a dream.

- I'm just gonna put it... - Got some shoes over there.

'Yeah, Craig collects shoes.'

What are the odds? I love shoes, and he collects shoes.

And the thing that's funny is every shoe there

size 11, my size.

- 'Yeah, that's amazing.' - Isn't that weird?

That's a beautiful box you got there.

'Oh, yeah. Thanks. No, I'm not... Yeah.'

- Yeah, thanks. - 'Yeah, that's gorgeous.'

- What do you keep in there? - We're not gonna... I don't...

We don't, uh...

I, I don't want to go in, in the box.

I-I don't think we should even talk about the box.

- What do you keep in the box? - I just...

It's just got a really pretty...

Don't touch...

Just don't touch the box, okay?

Don't you touch the box.

Okay.

Well, I think the meat's ready.

You guys...

- He... - 'Oh.'

- He has pills that he takes... - No.

He's lovely. He's lovely.

He's a lovely...

- Let's just leave it at that. - No, no, he's lovely.

We're all having a great time.

Okay, we're coming out.

'Hi, honey. Ooh, that meat looks good.'

You know, I believe if, uh, Craig Pullin actually

did kill Wiegel, it wouldn't be such a bad thing

because that poor woman's

always been afraid of killing herself.

I know she wants to, and it might be the Lord's way

of facilitating that end for her.

And I think it would

in a morbid way, be a good thing for her.

Like when you jump out of planes the first time

there's always somebody with you to pull

the rip cord in case you don't.

It's like, like Craig Pullin's gonna kinda

pull the old suicide cord on Wiegel

since, uh, she's kinda got cold feet.

He's gonna be the little thing on her shoulder that says

"Do it."

And if not, hey, I'll do it for ya.

Kind of a death leprechaun.

Dude, that's a wicked awesome band name.

If you kill yourself, you don't get a chance to repent.

You ain't going to heaven.

But if somebody else cuts your throat

you got a 50/50 shot of getting in.

- Hey. - Hey, Mike.

- Hey, Jonsey. - You know why we're here?

Unh-unh. Why are you here?

Nice to see you.

It's, uh, it's great to see you, too, Big Mike.

You havin' a little sale out here today?

Yeah, it's all stuff that was either given to me

or I purchased before.

Right there. That's why we're here.

What?

- The shelves? - No, not the shelves.

- What about this here, huh? - The flag?

Yeah.

What?

You can't have a Nazi flag

flying in, in your neighborhood here.

You can't have that.

- It's in bad taste, okay? - Oh, bad taste.

But is it against my power of The First Amendment?

It is not against my power of The First Amendment, man

to have a flag up, to have any kind of flag

displayed at my house.

I'll give you $2 for it, okay?

- That's a $15 flag. - What?

- I'll give you two. - Don't give him money for that.

- Alright. - Jones.

I got a stack of old penthouse here.

Maybe that would offend somebody

if you wanna buy a stack of old penthouse.

Man, that's my comb table, man.

♪ And the cops bought a Nazi flag today ♪

Brenda, I got $2. We can buy a poodle.

Ooh.

Oh, something's gone wrong.

Oh, God.

Brenda, hold on.

I somehow got the wind knocked out of me.

Oh, jeezer.

You know, it really hurts me

uh, to hear what the other deputies have to say

about Craig, it really does.

Um, but he cares about me so much.

He told me that he would cut my head off and eat it

if I ever needed him to.

That's love. I'm sorry.

He doesn't need to say the L word.

- Come on, come on, come on. - Damn Japanese locks.

Okay, it is 2000 hours.

We are at the residence of Mr. Craig Pullin

Trudy's boyfriend.

We got Craig and Trudy Ice Capades tickets

so they should not be home for about two hours or so.

We're gonna do a little reconnaissance

see what we can't find out about this cat.

- I got it. - Boo!

***! ***!

- Dammit! - ***!

Back door is open.

- Come on, go, go, go! - 'Shh!'

Where do we go? Where do we go?

Check the box, the box.

Check the box. Use a hairpin.

Jemmy with it. Jemmy with the pin.

'They ate the entire thing'

'which I think is weird.'

- Hey, guys. - What the ***?

What the *** is going on?

Does someone want to tell me what's going on?

Trudy...

You know he looks like the Truckee River. I mean...

We thought, we thought that Craig looked like

the sketch of the Truckee River killer.

You've got to be ♪ kidding me.

Get the *** out! Get out!

- Get out, right now! - Out.

- Double time. Out, gang. - Get the *** out of here!

Get the *** out!

- Get out! - Sorry, Trudy.

'Get the *** out!'

♪ dammit, Craig, I'm so sorry.

Listen, babe, don't even worry about it.

They're just trying to do their jobs, you know.

'I wouldn't even worry about it.'

I'm so embarrassed.

Hmm.

Are you one of those drama queens?

Because I can't have you freaking out

every time you find a body part, okay?

So we're gonna be in for a long night here.

'I'm gonna go jerk ***.'

♪ I met a girl named Trudy ♪

♪ She loved me the most ♪

Oh.

♪ She she's got great curves ♪

♪ And I don't mean to boast ♪

♪ Then she found a foot in my fridge ♪

♪ And things got nuts ♪

♪ Then I got sent to jail ♪

♪ And that's kind of crazy ♪

♪ I got the death-row blues ♪

♪ I'm all over the news... ♪

- It goes on like that. - Aw! Craig.

- Yay! - It's alright.

They get a lot of guns, don't they?

Trouble is, they resell 'em, I think.

- 'Oh.' - Yeah.

They don't, I don't think they sell 'em

I think they give 'em to children.

- Hells Angels? - Yeah.

No, they're responsible guys.

'No, you're thinking toys for ***.'

- They do that in April... - Oh, toys for ***.

'Right.'

Toys for ***, I think they stopped doing, didn't they?

- No, they did it last year. - 'Did it last year again?'

Yeah, I think some, they're gonna stop

'cause some kid got herpes from handling a sit and spin.

Right. Right.