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1
00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:15,639
{\an8}We got a call
about a nude sunbather.
2
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:18,142
{\an8}I bet you anything
it ain't nobody black.
3
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:20,602
{\an8}- Oh! Ho-ho!
- Uh...
4
00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:23,772
Sorry, sir, you're gonna have
to cover that up, please.
5
00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:25,232
- Oh, hey, girls. How you doing?
- Dangle?
6
00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:28,110
- 'Hi.'
- 'Oh, oh, oh!'
7
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,404
- There's a scorcher, huh?
- Yeah.
8
00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:31,947
Whoo, doggy!
9
00:00:31,948 --> 00:00:34,158
- 'Mm.'
- Hey, Joe.
10
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:37,119
You want a mojito
or somethin'? Joe?
11
00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:54,344
{\an8}Hey, dog. Yeah.
12
00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:21,497
'Okay, next order
of business...'
13
00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:22,414
'Oh, as many of you know, uh'
14
00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:26,168
{\an8}today is Deputy James Garcia's
15th year
15
00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:28,086
{\an8}with the
Reno Sheriff's Department.
16
00:01:28,087 --> 00:01:29,631
Hey. Oh, yeah.
17
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:32,007
Thank you.
18
00:01:32,008 --> 00:01:34,176
- Like, you just wanna do a...
- 'I'm sorry.'
19
00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:36,512
'If you're planning
some big to do'
20
00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:38,222
just, you know,
knock it off right now.
21
00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:41,016
Nip it in the bud 'cause again,
I'm just gonna go home
22
00:01:41,017 --> 00:01:44,478
have me a TV dinner and,
and that's it, so okay.
23
00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:45,354
We weren't planning on anything.
24
00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:48,190
Well, now, okay,
moving right along, uh
25
00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:50,651
they're-they're taking
the cigarette machine
26
00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:54,112
out of the, uh,
break room today.
27
00:01:54,113 --> 00:01:56,698
'You know,
why would anybody, uh...'
28
00:01:56,699 --> 00:02:00,036
Why would anybody
wanna celebrate, uh...
29
00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:02,371
...hanging out
in the same place...
30
00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:05,666
...15 years
31
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:08,252
'dealing with
the same stupid criminals'
32
00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:11,046
on the street every day and...
33
00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:14,550
...look back and, uh, say
34
00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:17,261
'"Hey, what have I done?
Not much."'
35
00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:20,055
"Hey, where'd the years go?
I don't know." Uh...
36
00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:24,142
You're older and slower
and one day closer to death
37
00:02:24,143 --> 00:02:28,063
and, uh... I just don't know
if that's something
38
00:02:28,064 --> 00:02:31,900
you wanna blow up a balloon for
or light a candle.
39
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,073
See you later.
40
00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:42,911
You know...
41
00:02:42,912 --> 00:02:44,413
'I guess now we gotta
get balloons and candles.'
42
00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:46,915
'Baby wants a bottle.'
43
00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:48,584
Baby wants a party,
it sounds like.
44
00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:50,377
whatever,
let's not spend too much
45
00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:52,087
whatever we do, okay?
46
00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:55,299
{\an8}I think Garcia's lasted
for 15 years, um
47
00:02:55,300 --> 00:03:00,220
{\an8}mostly because
he sort of runs on, uh
48
00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:03,557
pure unadulterated anger
49
00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:08,103
kind of like
how I run on, um, terror
50
00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:11,440
and sort of genuine malaise
and misery.
51
00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:15,110
{\an8}I guess, uh,
some pit bulls are happy
52
00:03:15,111 --> 00:03:17,821
{\an8}even when they're tearing apart
a little child.
53
00:03:17,822 --> 00:03:19,323
And in that sense,
Garcia's probably very happy.
54
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:25,120
{\an8}Let's get 'em. Let's go.
55
00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:27,164
{\an8}Get out of here!
Get out of here!
56
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,291
{\an8}- Sheriff's Department.
- Calm down. Calm down.
57
00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:33,503
{\an8}'Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down,
slow down, slow down.'
58
00:03:33,504 --> 00:03:35,172
Alright, alright, alright,
alright, alright.
59
00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:40,177
- 'Ow!'
- Hey, hey, come on.
60
00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:41,637
- Alright.
- Okay.
61
00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:46,433
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
62
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,063
Alright. Alright.
63
00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:57,319
- 'Put the bat down.'
- 'Alright!'
64
00:03:58,613 --> 00:04:01,657
Alright, alright. Come on,
come on, come on now.
65
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:02,824
- Now, it's over, it's over.
- Hey. Hey.
66
00:04:02,825 --> 00:04:06,119
- Just-just get off him.
- You leave my family alone!
67
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:09,831
- You leave my family alone!
- Whoa!
68
00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:12,793
Alright! Now, that's it!
69
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:14,878
'You, you're coming with me!'
70
00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:17,172
Get him, Garcia.
Get him, Wiegel.
71
00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:19,591
- 'You're going in?'
- 'Uh-uh.'
72
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,301
- You okay?
- 'Yeah, I'm fine.'
73
00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:24,304
- Get off me!
- Alright.
74
00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:25,847
- That's a real good fight.
- 'I got scared!'
75
00:04:25,848 --> 00:04:27,391
- That was cool. Alright.
- 'Whoo!'
76
00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:28,433
- Hell, yeah.
- Man!
77
00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:31,019
Man, did you see me
go against that car? Wham!
78
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:32,229
'She hit you pretty hard.'
79
00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:34,147
Did y'all see me
when I, when I shot the gun?
80
00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:35,691
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
81
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:37,859
Hey, could I get a copy of me
going through that window
82
00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:39,695
just so I can send
to my friends and stuff?
83
00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:40,570
- That was real good.
- 'Oh, real good.'
84
00:04:40,571 --> 00:04:42,572
I don't know if I saw...
I didn't see that.
85
00:04:42,573 --> 00:04:44,700
- What?
- 'I don't know.'
86
00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:46,576
- You didn't get that?
- You got that, didn't ya?
87
00:04:46,577 --> 00:04:49,538
Well, I got hit by a piece of
wood, then I got kinda scared.
88
00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:50,998
Did you get me
going through the window?
89
00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:54,209
- Dead battery.
- Oh!
90
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:56,169
The coolest damn thing
that happened to me.
91
00:04:56,170 --> 00:04:56,878
Since your cameras
have been around.
92
00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:59,381
I went through a goddamn window.
93
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:01,091
You know what?
94
00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:04,011
We could, uh,
we could let 'em out again.
95
00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:05,345
We just let 'em out.
96
00:05:05,346 --> 00:05:06,888
They're gonna fight again.
Just let 'em out.
97
00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:08,932
- Do it. Do it. Let's do it.
- You won't get it again.
98
00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:09,975
- I know where it's...
- You go put him...
99
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,561
You let Tony out of the car,
I'll give you a signal
100
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,938
and they can start fighting.
I'll go over to the porch.
101
00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:18,942
The signal is, uh,
I'll say, "Signal."
102
00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:23,071
{\an8}I can't, I'm not understand--
103
00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:25,073
{\an8}Sheriff's Department!
Sheriff's Department!
104
00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:26,450
{\an8}Thank you, thank you.
105
00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,994
{\an8}Hi. We got a call.
Uh, so who's been assaulted?
106
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,162
- 'I called.'
- 'There was an assault?'
107
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:33,915
They came up to the front desk.
They asked me for change.
108
00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:36,585
He tried to short-change me, so
I slapped him across the face.
109
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:39,212
Then I slapped him,
and then I slapped her, too.
110
00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:40,756
- I slapped both of them.
- In one move or...
111
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:43,592
- In one move, just boom!
- One double slap?
112
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:45,093
Double, it became a double slap.
113
00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:46,553
- So double slap.
- It didn't start that way.
114
00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:48,972
That was not-uh...
An unintentional double slap.
115
00:05:48,973 --> 00:05:50,766
Yes, it was
completely unintentional.
116
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,601
I had no intention
of slapping her
117
00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:54,895
but I'm telling you,
I was so angry
118
00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:55,854
that if my arms were long enough
119
00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:58,106
'I would have slapped
the two kids, too.'
120
00:05:58,107 --> 00:06:00,942
We have a contest at our hotel
121
00:06:00,943 --> 00:06:02,819
that, uh, whoever works
at the front desk
122
00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:05,155
well, if they get,
like, an even balance
123
00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:06,281
if their bank is even...
124
00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:07,449
You get some kind of prize.
125
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:09,451
- We get to win tickets.
- Okay, so there's a prize.
126
00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:10,702
There's a prize,
we get to win tickets
127
00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:14,289
to whos-ever performing in the
ballroom. We get to go see them.
128
00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:15,916
- Who's playing?
- Uh, Amy Grant.
129
00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:19,795
And I'm not gonna,
I am not missing Amy Grant.
130
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:22,380
I've only won that contest
one time
131
00:06:22,381 --> 00:06:25,300
and it was Ray Parker Jr.
and that sucked!
132
00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:26,676
- I am not...
- Well, well...
133
00:06:26,677 --> 00:06:30,764
Do you know who's performing
next month after Amy Grant?
134
00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:32,682
- It's, it's Eddie Rabbit.
- Oh, well...
135
00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:35,435
- No. Yuck.
- You're right. Yeah.
136
00:06:35,436 --> 00:06:38,438
I'm gonna give them
a warning about...
137
00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:40,315
I'm not really sure
what I'm gonna warn them about
138
00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:44,945
because it seems like
things kind of add up, but...
139
00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:47,489
'But they're clearly
the scam artists.'
140
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,783
Very possible, it's very,
very possible that they are
141
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:52,286
but, um, uh,
before I do that, uh...
142
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:55,497
- Uh...
- Yeah?
143
00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:57,834
Who are you going
to Amy Grant with?
144
00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:00,335
Signal. There you go, boy.
145
00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:02,504
Esta libre, go get 'em.
Here they are. Here they are.
146
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:03,713
- 'Johnny!'
- Run!
147
00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:05,090
- 'Johnny!'
- Run, run, run!
148
00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:12,764
You stop in the name of the law!
You get off of him.
149
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:15,016
- You get off...
- Get off of him!
150
00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:16,643
Ow! You don't get to kick me.
151
00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:20,231
Johnny! Let him go!
152
00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:24,526
Alright!
153
00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:27,028
'Stop in the name of the law!'
154
00:07:27,029 --> 00:07:30,323
And right now the law
is Raineesha Williams!
155
00:07:30,324 --> 00:07:33,493
Huh? Huh? Huh?
156
00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:35,495
- 'I got your name.'
- 'Hey! Hey!'
157
00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:37,539
{\an8}'The bad boys are in our
custody. Should we do it
again?'
158
00:07:46,382 --> 00:07:48,592
{\an8}- Fifteen years is a long time.
- Yes, ma'am.
159
00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:50,802
In case you guys were...
160
00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:54,055
- 'We're not planning
anything.'
- Nope?
161
00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:56,057
In fact,
I wanted to do something
162
00:07:56,058 --> 00:07:58,727
not so much
because I care about you
163
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:01,271
but because I have a new recipe
164
00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:03,231
for cinnamon red-hot
Jell-O salad
165
00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:04,232
and I figured I could do
166
00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:08,278
a 15 Jell-O in the shape of a 15
167
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:10,614
in a mold.
I got all excited about it.
168
00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:12,574
I even went
to look for the molds.
169
00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:15,827
They didn't even have,
all they had was a 7 and a 2.
170
00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:18,914
- Wow, you smell good.
- Oh, thank you.
171
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:19,623
Happy anniversary!
172
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:23,877
Happy anniversary!
173
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:29,090
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow
for he's a jolly good fellow ♪
174
00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:31,801
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
175
00:08:31,802 --> 00:08:36,556
♪ Which nobody can deny ♪
176
00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:37,891
Oh, wow!
177
00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:41,436
Uh, uh, well, I'm just really...
178
00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:43,605
- We got you a pinata.
- Thank you. Well, uh...
179
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:46,983
Come on, come on!
180
00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:48,526
Figured you're Mexican and all,
you'd like it.
181
00:08:48,527 --> 00:08:50,111
Okay. Whoa.
182
00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:51,112
- 'Spin him, spin him good.'
- Oh, boy.
183
00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:52,781
- I'm borracho right now.
- Three...
184
00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:56,576
- Alright. Okay.
- Okay. Okay.
185
00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:58,286
- Left. Left.
- No, no.
186
00:08:58,287 --> 00:09:01,581
- 'A little left. Up.'
- 'Right.'
187
00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:02,457
- Am I good?
- 'Up and left.'
188
00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:04,000
- Am I good?
- 'A little more left.'
189
00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:04,793
- 'Yes, yes, yes.'
- 'Adios.'
190
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:09,674
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
191
00:09:10,549 --> 00:09:11,633
Back. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
192
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:12,801
Want to take the blindfold off?
193
00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:13,760
Well, alright, alright.
194
00:09:13,761 --> 00:09:16,513
Okay, not that I need to.
195
00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:18,181
Now we got it. Now we got it.
196
00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:19,933
- It's time.
- 'Alright.'
197
00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:20,642
'Okay, you SOB.'
198
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:23,311
'Ha-ha-ha. Whoo-hoo!'
199
00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:30,485
- 'You are a [bleep] idiot.'
- 'Shh.'
200
00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:32,988
Don't be hard on yourself.
Don't be hard on yourself.
201
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:36,116
'Jones.'
202
00:09:38,869 --> 00:09:41,162
- You know what?
- What? I'm sorry.
203
00:09:41,163 --> 00:09:44,457
I will not let some little
odd papier mache of pendejo
204
00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:45,333
with a smile on his face
205
00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:48,587
ruin my 15-year, uh,
anniversary, okay?
206
00:09:52,341 --> 00:09:54,509
Yeah!
Who's smiling now, pendejo?
207
00:09:54,510 --> 00:09:56,845
Mother[bleep]! Yeah!
Who's smiling now?
208
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:59,848
you! This is my 15 year!
209
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:04,519
Mine! Whoo! Whoo!
210
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,856
yeah! Yeah!
Who's smiling now?
211
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,775
'Let's have a beer.
Let's have a beer, everybody.'
212
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:18,533
{\an8}I was out here,
I was selling some, uh, nachos
213
00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:19,784
{\an8}and some Sprites.
214
00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:23,747
{\an8}And I was giving him some money
215
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:26,041
{\an8}and his change back
216
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,876
and then I gave him some
more money I had in my hand.
217
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:30,045
He grabbed all of it.
218
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:33,173
And once he put it in his
pocket, he took his coat
219
00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:36,384
opened it up and exposed himself
220
00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:37,927
and underneath it
he was, he was naked
221
00:10:37,928 --> 00:10:42,724
and I saw his penis and,
and the scrotums.
222
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:45,727
Now, I know you're, you're
a little shaken up right now
223
00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:47,854
but, uh, would he have
flashed you first
224
00:10:47,855 --> 00:10:48,855
and then grabbed the money?
225
00:10:48,856 --> 00:10:51,274
'Cause to me
that's what makes sense
226
00:10:51,275 --> 00:10:53,902
like, here's my dick, I'm
taking your money, because...
227
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:56,196
- We get a lot of that.
- 'Right.'
228
00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:59,866
We haven't had any, I'm taking
the money, here's my dick.
229
00:10:59,867 --> 00:11:02,911
I'm [bleep], I'm recalling this
in the correct order
230
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:05,413
and I'm sorry if you guys
want to go and embellish it
231
00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:06,289
but I'm telling you
what honestly
232
00:11:06,290 --> 00:11:08,083
I'm just telling you
what happened to me.
233
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:10,085
So it was definitely a,
I'm taking the money...
234
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:13,963
It was, a robbery and then
it was penis, in that order.
235
00:11:13,964 --> 00:11:16,925
Stealing and penis, stealing,
penis, stealing, penis.
236
00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:18,927
{\an8}Do I think Garcia's a happy man?
237
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:21,221
{\an8}- Oh, God, no.
- Oh, heavens.
238
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:23,765
{\an8}- Oh.
- Oh, Lord.
239
00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:25,308
Uh, Garcia, in his off time
240
00:11:25,309 --> 00:11:27,937
plays first-person
police shooting games.
241
00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:31,481
- Really?
- Yo.
242
00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:34,192
Would it be third, though?
243
00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:36,277
- 'Third person?'
- Because he's a police officer?
244
00:11:36,278 --> 00:11:38,279
Yeah.
245
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:41,408
Wait. Third person is, t-they...
246
00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:43,284
I'm Garcia and I am going...
247
00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:45,620
No, it's still first person
'cause he's there.
248
00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:48,123
{\an8}Uh, can you give a description
about what the...
249
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:51,960
{\an8}Well, it was a very long
250
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:54,295
kind of like a pink
251
00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:56,381
nude pink garden hose.
252
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:59,801
- So it, so it was real skinny?
- It was real skinny.
253
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:02,971
It wasn't pointing downwards,
it was going outwards?
254
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:05,515
Well, at first.
Funny you should ask.
255
00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:08,601
Funny you should ask because
at first it started south
256
00:12:08,602 --> 00:12:10,478
and then it just goes right up
257
00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:12,981
pointing at me like,
"Hey, you, you're in my way."
258
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:15,650
How long
did this whole episode take?
259
00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:17,986
Oh, less than,
probably, 20 seconds.
260
00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:20,155
- So we're talking...
- Bam!
261
00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:22,991
It was, it was like Emeril
going bam with his garlic.
262
00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:26,786
If I was on my knees, again,
it would have been right here
263
00:12:26,787 --> 00:12:29,539
right there, and then, again
the Burberry coat was opened up.
264
00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:30,957
Oh, but you didn't say
it was a Burberry coat.
265
00:12:30,958 --> 00:12:33,501
Oh, um, excuse me.
I overlooked that.
266
00:12:33,502 --> 00:12:35,879
You don't see a lot
of Burberry in Reno.
267
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:36,963
You see a lot of members only.
268
00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:39,007
And I'll tell you what, ma'am
269
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:42,510
we are gonna tell you
that we are gonna try our best.
270
00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:43,678
That's what
we're gonna tell you.
271
00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:45,305
- We'll try our best.
- Why don't you...
272
00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:46,723
- Thank you.
- There you go.
273
00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:48,183
We aim to try...
274
00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:50,018
"We aim to try,"
that's our motto.
275
00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:51,812
That's what our motto
is becoming.
276
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:54,230
{\an8}- How we doing, guys?
- 'Good. We read you.'
277
00:12:54,231 --> 00:12:55,148
{\an8}- 'We're good.'
- We read you.
278
00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:57,692
{\an8}- You check your mic?
- How's my mic?
279
00:12:57,693 --> 00:12:59,527
{\an8}- Check. Yeah.
- Check. Check, one, two.
280
00:12:59,528 --> 00:13:01,906
We read you. We read you. Okay.
281
00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:05,033
- 'Ding dong.'
- 'Hello. Hi.'
282
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:08,036
'We got, uh, Deputy Jones here
running a prostitution sting.'
283
00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:10,830
'And as soon as he gets her
to say'
284
00:13:10,831 --> 00:13:15,668
'that she will have sex with him
for money, we will swoop in.'
285
00:13:15,669 --> 00:13:18,379
- Okay.
- 'Relax.'
286
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:20,381
'Uh, let me
close the door here.'
287
00:13:20,382 --> 00:13:22,342
I'm gonna take this off
if you don't mind.
288
00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:25,011
Oh, sure.
Why not? Yeah. Relax.
289
00:13:25,012 --> 00:13:27,722
God, you are really pretty.
290
00:13:27,723 --> 00:13:28,681
- Thank you.
- You're really, really pretty.
291
00:13:28,682 --> 00:13:31,017
- You're really cute.
- Thank you. Um...
292
00:13:31,018 --> 00:13:33,853
- You're... really cute.
- Thank you.
293
00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:37,065
I'm like, I walked in here,
and I was like...
294
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:39,901
- Did you feel that, too? Yeah.
- Yes?
295
00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:41,694
And when you walked in,
I was like, wow
296
00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:43,404
that's a breath of fresh air.
297
00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:45,782
- You're pretty close.
- That's close.
298
00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:49,410
- Here's money for sex.
- Your legs are so cut.
299
00:13:49,411 --> 00:13:53,248
- What do you do for a living?
- I am a, I'm a gym teacher.
300
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:54,415
- 'Oh, really?'
- What the hell?
301
00:13:54,416 --> 00:13:56,960
- 'What grade do you teach?'
- 'Uh, uh...'
302
00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:59,295
'Forth grade through,
uh, eighth.'
303
00:13:59,296 --> 00:14:02,298
{\an8}And I make a lot of money
and here is some of it for sex.
304
00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:03,341
Do you want a foot massage?
305
00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:05,051
- You'd give me a foot massage?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
306
00:14:05,052 --> 00:14:07,095
I mean, come on.
307
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:08,805
You are never gonna
figure those shoes out.
308
00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:10,723
- Buster.
- I will, I will. Oh, jeez.
309
00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:14,644
It's his Achilles' heel.
White girls with a big backyard.
310
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:27,073
{\an8}Could I need some,
uh, cashew chicken and, uh...
311
00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:28,616
Now, what else did we want?
Uh, wontons?
312
00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:29,325
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
313
00:14:29,326 --> 00:14:32,829
It's like watching a damn porno
314
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:35,123
with all the porno cut out.
315
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:37,667
Hey, happy 15 years to me.
316
00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:40,336
- Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot.
- Alright. Yeah.
317
00:14:40,337 --> 00:14:41,963
- Happy 15th anniversary.
- Happy 15th anniversary.
318
00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:44,424
- Yeah.
- Cop for 15 years.
319
00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:46,802
Fifteen years
of my ***ing life.
320
00:14:47,761 --> 00:14:51,306
And here I am with my buddies,
quote, unquote.
321
00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:54,642
'Hey, you've had
a very, very good 15-year run.'
322
00:14:54,643 --> 00:14:55,810
You're a good cop, Garcia.
323
00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:57,812
- You've done well.
- Yeah.
324
00:14:57,813 --> 00:15:00,481
- 'Thanks, fellows.'
- You've, you've done a lot.
325
00:15:00,482 --> 00:15:02,942
Yeah? What have I done, Dangle?
326
00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:04,111
'You, uh...'
327
00:15:05,904 --> 00:15:06,779
...done a lot of good.
328
00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:08,656
'You know what I've done,
Dangle?'
329
00:15:08,657 --> 00:15:11,492
You figured out, uh,
you figured out that, uh
330
00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:15,622
hand drier, that new hand drier
we got at the station.
331
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:17,625
- Nobody else...
- Push, no. Push, no.
332
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:20,001
You know what I did, Dangle?
333
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:22,837
'I managed to piss off
an ex-wife'
334
00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:25,131
'and... make a daughter'
335
00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:27,217
who don't write me
for ten years.
336
00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:32,096
- You have a daughter?
- Had.
337
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:34,349
Come on, cheer up.
Let's bust a hooker, alright?
338
00:15:35,559 --> 00:15:36,059
- Wrong number.
- Hey.
339
00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:39,228
Um, guys... bad news.
340
00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:43,066
She's, she's not a,
she's not an escort.
341
00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:44,567
- Oh, shit!
- She isn't a hooker.
342
00:15:44,568 --> 00:15:46,152
- Really?
- She isn't.
343
00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:47,987
I'm just gonna...
Yeah, I'm, I'm...
344
00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:49,197
She's a good kid.
345
00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:50,365
I'm just gonna get her home
346
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:55,370
take her to the cab, you know,
get a taxi, get her home.
347
00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:57,205
But, uh, could I get 350 bucks?
348
00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:04,545
{\an8}Garcia having a daughter was
absolutely a news flash to me.
349
00:16:04,546 --> 00:16:05,922
{\an8}- Really?
- Oh, yeah. You knew that?
350
00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:07,215
{\an8}He talks endlessly in the car
about it.
351
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:09,592
- 'Really?'
- Yeah.
352
00:16:09,593 --> 00:16:11,594
The part I don't understand
is that there's a woman
353
00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:15,223
who... would make
354
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:16,683
the sex act with him.
355
00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:18,393
- The effort, yeah. I mean...
- 'No.'
356
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:20,978
'Not even the effort,
even be present.'
357
00:16:20,979 --> 00:16:23,773
Hey, can you imagine
how angry that sex would be?
358
00:16:23,774 --> 00:16:25,233
Oh, God.
359
00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:26,943
You ever heard him in the john?
360
00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:30,071
When Garcia's in the john,
just making a, making a deuce?
361
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:31,239
Phew!
362
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,325
- Hey.
- It's like Normandy.
363
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:36,245
{\an8}Reno Sheriff Department!
364
00:16:43,293 --> 00:16:45,421
Hello, sir.
Are you Gene Labelle?
365
00:16:46,213 --> 00:16:47,255
Yes, ma'am.
366
00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:49,924
Um, we have a warrant
for your arrest.
367
00:16:49,925 --> 00:16:52,260
I'm afraid you're gonna
have to come with us, sir.
368
00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:56,764
- Okay, I'll-I'll be glad to.
- Alright, let's...
369
00:16:56,765 --> 00:17:00,226
Hey, can I, can I put on my,
uh, pants a-and a hat?
370
00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:03,062
Would you please
put your pants on?
371
00:17:03,063 --> 00:17:04,480
I think that would be fine, sir.
372
00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:05,773
- Thank you, ma'am.
- Okay.
373
00:17:05,774 --> 00:17:07,024
We're gonna come on in and wait.
374
00:17:07,025 --> 00:17:08,609
- Yeah, yeah, come on in.
- Okay.
375
00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:10,611
- My home is your home.
- Oh, thank you, sir.
376
00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:13,157
- He's not gonna go anywhere.
- No.
377
00:17:14,324 --> 00:17:17,953
- Uh, nice house.
- Ooh, chips.
378
00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:20,288
Hm.
379
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:23,458
You'll never get me alive,
bitches!
380
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:25,793
- 'Oh! Oh, no!'
- Yeah!
381
00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:29,172
Hey! Get him!
382
00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:31,007
Mr. Labelle!
383
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:34,510
You can't!
Sir, you're evading arrest!
384
00:17:34,511 --> 00:17:37,472
- That's illegal, sir!
- Get him!
385
00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:41,642
I will hunt you down and beat
the living crap out of you!
386
00:17:41,643 --> 00:17:44,104
I have to wait
until he runs out of gas!
387
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:47,858
{\an8}Garcia has a daughter?
388
00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:52,820
Uh...
389
00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:56,408
I had no idea. I had no idea.
390
00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,870
I would imagine...
391
00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:03,832
...she must have a humpback
or something or...
392
00:18:07,377 --> 00:18:10,087
Hey, could I,
could I get my friend here a...
393
00:18:10,088 --> 00:18:10,671
Yeah, get him a, get him a...
394
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:15,384
Champagne room! Champagne room!
395
00:18:15,385 --> 00:18:17,053
- Man.
- Come on.
396
00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:19,347
I know, why don't we go, uh,
why don't we go to the park
397
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:20,807
and beat up
some of them pot dealers?
398
00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:21,724
Hey, you love that!
You love that!
399
00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:23,559
A little stick time.
A little stick time.
400
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:24,811
You love that!
401
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:27,355
I don't know what's going on
inside that old caboose here.
402
00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:28,397
Just a little bit
down in the dumps, I guess.
403
00:18:28,398 --> 00:18:32,360
Uh, Summer, Cinnamon, Diamond,
everybody here
404
00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:36,864
we want to celebrate
15 years of James, um...
405
00:18:36,865 --> 00:18:37,698
Well, you have a middle name, right?
406
00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:39,200
- What's your middle name?
- Huh?
407
00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:41,410
- Oswaldo.
- Oswaldo.
408
00:18:41,411 --> 00:18:44,038
Yes. O-S-W-A-L-D-O. Oswaldo.
409
00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:45,748
- Huh.
- So cute!
410
00:18:45,749 --> 00:18:49,168
- Okay, James Oswaldo Garcia.
- Here we go. Here we go.
411
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:52,380
- Hear! Hear!
- Thank you, guys.
412
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:56,218
Excuse me.
You're James Oswaldo Garcia?
413
00:18:57,427 --> 00:18:58,761
Uh, yes, ma'am, I am.
414
00:18:58,762 --> 00:18:59,429
Daddy, it's me!
415
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,349
- Trina!
- Oh, my God!
416
00:19:03,350 --> 00:19:06,185
- How are you, daddy?
- Oh, my...
417
00:19:06,186 --> 00:19:08,938
Oh, my God! Trina!
418
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:10,398
- How have you been?
- Oh, sweet...
419
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:12,400
- My God, Trina!
- It's so good to see you.
420
00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:16,153
- 'Oh! Oh, my God! Oh!'
- 'How have you been?'
421
00:19:16,154 --> 00:19:17,405
What has it been,
like, ten years?
422
00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:20,241
Trina. Man, you're all grown up.
Look, at you.
423
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:21,909
- Oh, my God!
- And I got your letters.
424
00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:22,702
- This is my daughter.
- How are you?
425
00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:24,620
- This is my daughter.
- Hi, hoo!
426
00:19:24,621 --> 00:19:26,372
- 'We work with your daddy.'
- 'Oh, my God!'
427
00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:39,427
This is very sweet.
428
00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:42,013
What a happy reunion.
429
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:43,264
- Great night for him.
- Yeah.
430
00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:44,265
I don't think I've ever seen him
this happy as he is.
431
00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:46,642
- Never.
- I've never seen him happy.
432
00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:47,476
- 'Really.'
- 'No?'
433
00:19:47,477 --> 00:19:49,937
How much did you have to pay
that girl
434
00:19:49,938 --> 00:19:52,064
to say that, uh,
she was his daughter?
435
00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:53,399
- Eighty bucks.
- Eighty bucks?
436
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:56,444
- That ain't bad.
- That's cheap.
437
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:58,988
- Pretty cheap.
- Yeah.
438
00:19:58,989 --> 00:20:00,490
Worth it.
439
00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:06,996
What he don't know
won't hurt him.
440
00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:09,374
- Are you okay to drive?
- Uh...
441
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:14,003
- Yeah, I'm okay to drive.
- Or you want me to drive?
442
00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:16,130
No, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I'm just a little, uh...
443
00:20:16,131 --> 00:20:17,506
- How much you had to drink?
- I had, uh...
444
00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:19,383
What did I have? I had, uh...
445
00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:22,470
I had 11 beers, and I had, uh
446
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:24,680
and I had
a couple of cosmopolitans.
447
00:20:24,681 --> 00:20:26,182
- I'm fine.
- Yeah, you're good.
448
00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:27,224
'I'm good.'
449
00:20:37,527 --> 00:20:41,530
{\an8}'I got some whip-its over at
my place if we want to, uh...'
450
00:20:41,531 --> 00:20:43,074
{\an8}- You got whip-its?
- 'Yeah.'
451
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:45,994
{\an8}- Watch the door.
- Uh, I'll do some whip-its.
452
00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:49,872
{\an8}- You okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
453
00:20:49,873 --> 00:20:51,499
{\an8}I haven't done whip-its
in a coon's age.
454
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:55,002
{\an8}Um. Where's the lights?
I'm a little [bleep] up.
455
00:20:55,003 --> 00:20:58,297
{\an8}What did you say? Coon's age?
456
00:20:58,298 --> 00:21:00,007
{\an8}- 'It's an expression.'
- That's an expression.
457
00:21:00,008 --> 00:21:03,511
{\an8}- It's not a black thing.
- 'No, like, what does it
mean?'
458
00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:04,512
{\an8}- Yeah.
- I don't know.
459
00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:06,013
{\an8}It just means coon's age.
460
00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:08,100
{\an8}All I said was I haven't done
whip-its in a coon's age.
35245
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