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1
00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:17,933
{\an8}HOW YOU DOIN' TODAY,
MA'AM?
2
00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:19,768
{\an8}I'M GONNA NEED TO HAVE YOU
3
00:00:19,769 --> 00:00:22,563
{\an8}STEP OUT THE CAR FOR ME
FOR A SECOND.
4
00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:23,897
OH!
5
00:00:23,898 --> 00:00:26,567
OH-HO-HO-HO!
6
00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:27,652
OW.
7
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:36,035
{\an8}OH-HO! OHH-H-H!
8
00:00:41,332 --> 00:00:43,625
{\an8}AAH! AAH! AAH!
9
00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:45,754
{\an8}HEY, DOG. YEAH.
10
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:51,717
{\an8}SHOTS FIRED.
11
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:54,053
{\an8}HO! HO! HO!
12
00:01:09,402 --> 00:01:11,987
AND, AS MANY OF YOU KNOW,
13
00:01:11,988 --> 00:01:14,615
DEPUTY JONES HAS BEEN SUSPENDED
BY THE BOARD--
14
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:15,616
WHAT?
15
00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:18,202
FOR ASSAULTING DEPUTY GARCIA.
16
00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:19,828
I DIDN'T HEAR ABOUT THAT.
17
00:01:19,829 --> 00:01:21,663
YES, JONES
HAS BEEN SUSPENDED.
18
00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:23,791
HE'S BEEN SENT DOWN
TO THE GULAG.
19
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:25,584
PEOPLE,
IF YOU HAVE A MINUTE,
20
00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:27,211
I'D STOP BY AND VISIT HIM DOWN
IN THE GULAG
21
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:31,006
BECAUSE, HONESTLY, THAT IS
NO PICNIC DOWN THERE.
22
00:01:31,007 --> 00:01:32,299
MOST OF THEM
DON'T LAST FIVE MINUTES.
23
00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:35,177
NO. THOSE PEOPLE ARE ANIMALS
DOWN THERE.
24
00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:37,346
I, FOR ONE,
HOPE HE DOESN'T JUST QUIT.
25
00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:39,181
WELL,
TELL 'EM WHY HE HIT YOU,
26
00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:41,517
BEFORE YOU GET THE KISS
ON THE FACE.
27
00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:43,811
OKAY, WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME,
YOU KNOW--
28
00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:45,354
SAY WHAT YOU DID.
JONES HIT YOU FOR NO REASON?
29
00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:48,065
WE WERE LOOKING
AT A MAGAZINE.
30
00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:50,359
IT WAS ONE OF THEM BLACK,
COLORED MAGAZINES,
31
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,528
AND I SAID SOMETHING ABOUT
HALLE BERRY
32
00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:54,363
BEING HALF POLACK
AND HALF BLACK,
33
00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:56,365
AND A STUPID JOKE
ABOUT A VCR--
34
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:59,535
SHE STEALS THEM, AND SHE CAN'T
PROGRAM THEM OR SOMETHING.
35
00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,537
I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST--
BOOM.
36
00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:02,371
HALLE BERRY'S HALF POLACK?
37
00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:04,873
SHE'S HALF POLACK.
38
00:02:04,874 --> 00:02:08,210
THERE HAS GOT TO BE A BETTER
HALF BLACK/HALF POLACK JOKE.
39
00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:10,254
HOW COME HE DIDN'T GET
SUSPENDED,
40
00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:12,047
AND MY JONESY
GOT SUSPENDED?
41
00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:12,589
I'M THE ONE THAT GOT HIT,
THAT'S WHY.
42
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:14,383
IT'S NOT ENTIRELY--
43
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,552
HEY, JONESY.
44
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:17,886
HEY, JONES.
45
00:02:17,887 --> 00:02:20,181
YOU ON YOUR WAY
DOWN THERE?
46
00:02:27,063 --> 00:02:29,690
WHO'S GARCIA'S PARTNER
TODAY?
47
00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:33,068
NOT IT.
48
00:02:33,069 --> 00:02:34,069
TRUDY.
49
00:02:35,071 --> 00:02:36,196
WHAT'D I WIN?
50
00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:37,906
YOU'RE WITH GARCIA TODAY.
51
00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:41,201
WE CAN JUST STOP BY MY
GYNECOLOGIST AT 11:00.
52
00:02:41,202 --> 00:02:42,911
OH, JESUS CHRIST.
53
00:02:42,912 --> 00:02:45,747
I JUST HAVE TO PICK UP
SOME TEST RESULTS,
54
00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:48,792
AND I MIGHT GET A PAP SMEAR
'CAUSE IT HAS BEEN SIX MONTHS.
55
00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:50,586
HEY,
IF YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES,
56
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:52,588
STOP BY AND SEE JONES,
SERIOUSLY,
57
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:55,382
BECAUSE IT'S A SHAME THAT
ONE OF OUR BEST OFFICERS
58
00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:56,508
SHOULD BE HUMILIATED
LIKE THAT.
59
00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:06,768
WHAT ARE YOU
LOOKING AT?
60
00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:08,437
OH, WHAT?
61
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:12,525
I HATE WHITE GIRLS.
62
00:03:22,493 --> 00:03:24,286
EW, IT'S CARPETED.
63
00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:28,290
SIR, CAN I ASK YOU TO GET OFF
THE-- HEY! HO! HEY!
64
00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:31,293
GET DOWN FROM THERE.
65
00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:32,294
HEY!
66
00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:33,629
YOU LIKE THAT, DON'T YOU?
67
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:35,547
NO, I DON'T, SIR.
GET OFF THE POLE.
68
00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:37,424
GET OFF THE STAGE.
SIR, GET DOWN.
GET OFF THE STAGE.
SIR, GET DOWN.
69
00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:38,800
DON'T FIGHT THE FEELING.
70
00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:43,138
DO YOU WANT SOME STICK TIME?
71
00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:46,141
SIR, DON'T FLIP THAT.
DON'T FLIP THAT!
72
00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:47,809
JAMES, MAKE HIM STOP.
73
00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:50,520
DON'T SWING ON THAT POLE,
OKAY?!
74
00:03:50,521 --> 00:03:52,940
PHYSICALLY REMOVE YOU.
75
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:54,483
DO NOT TEMPT ME, SIR.
76
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:57,277
YOU GONNA HIDE BEHIND THAT BADGE
AND THAT GUN THERE
77
00:03:57,278 --> 00:04:00,030
OR ARE YOU GONNA SHOW ME THAT
YOU'RE A REAL MAN?
78
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:01,365
SIR, DON'T--
79
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:04,159
YOU WANT ME TO TAKE OFF THE
BADGE, SIR? OKAY.
80
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,203
OKAY, HIDE-AND-SEEK'S
OVER, SIR.
81
00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:08,455
YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME ON,
OLD MAN?
82
00:04:08,456 --> 00:04:10,332
BRING IT ON.
83
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:11,541
ADIóS, PISTOLA, RIGHT THERE.
84
00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:13,877
YEAH, THERE IT IS.
85
00:04:13,878 --> 00:04:14,378
SIR, TRUST ME--
86
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:15,379
AII!
OH!
87
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:18,048
SON OF A BITCH.
88
00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:19,675
HE GOT YOUR GUN.
89
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:22,844
WHY DON'T YOU DANCE NOW
90
00:04:22,845 --> 00:04:24,805
AAH! SON OF A BITCH!
91
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,348
AAH! DAMN IT!
92
00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:27,683
CALL FOR HELP.
93
00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:28,850
HELP!
94
00:04:28,851 --> 00:04:31,353
USE YOUR--
USE YOUR GODDAMN RADIO.
95
00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:32,396
HELP!
96
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:34,481
OH, SON OF BITCH. OH!
97
00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:37,693
I MYSELF HAVE HAD MANY
"DAYDREAMS"
98
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:40,487
ABOUT PUNCHING GARCIA
MYSELF.
99
00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:43,657
UM, I'VE ACTUALLY HAD
"DAYDREAMS"
100
00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:46,368
ABOUT "STABBING" GARCIA...
101
00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:51,081
IN THE "DAYTIME"...
102
00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:52,625
"IN FRONT OF PEOPLE."
103
00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:57,295
OH, DEAR, DEAR, DEAR.
104
00:04:57,296 --> 00:04:58,547
THERE HE IS.
105
00:04:58,548 --> 00:04:59,881
HEY, TERRY.
106
00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:02,175
SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT.
107
00:05:02,176 --> 00:05:03,385
HOW YOU DOIN'?
108
00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:05,220
HEY, GUYS.
WHAT'S GOING DOWN?
109
00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:07,889
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S GOING
DOWN, TERRY.
110
00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:10,517
YOU KNOW THAT THEY'VE INSTALLED
A CAMERA HERE
111
00:05:10,518 --> 00:05:12,019
AT THIS RED LIGHT HERE?
112
00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:13,562
YEAH, AND IT TAKES A PICTURE
113
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,731
WHENEVER ANYBODY
RUNS A RED LIGHT.
114
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,399
OH, THAT IS AWESOME.
THAT'S LIKE THE FUTURE.
115
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,568
IT IS AWESOME.
116
00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:22,237
SO YOU KNOW WHY WE'RE HERE,
DON'T YOU?
117
00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:23,739
WHY? WAS THERE A FIRE?
118
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,699
YOU'VE BEEN CHARGING
THREE BUCKS.
119
00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:28,243
YOU RUN UP WHEN THE CAR'S
AT THE RED LIGHT,
120
00:05:28,244 --> 00:05:29,619
AND YOU GIVE A H.J.
DURING THE RED LIGHT.
121
00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:31,455
OH, MY GOD.
THAT SOUNDS--
122
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:35,208
THAT'S NOT SOMETHING
THAT I WOULD EVER DO.
123
00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:36,626
NO, EXCEPT THAT WE GOT ABOUT,
UH--
124
00:05:36,627 --> 00:05:39,796
WE GOT ABOUT 38 PHOTOGRAPHS
OF YOU,
125
00:05:39,797 --> 00:05:41,465
AND THAT'S ONLY LAST NIGHT.
126
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:44,509
I CAN SEE HOW YOU WOULD
THINK THAT,
127
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:46,261
BUT I SELL ORANGES.
128
00:05:46,262 --> 00:05:49,264
YOU SELL ORANGES?
129
00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:50,265
MM-HMM.
130
00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:51,141
I'LL TAKE SOME.
131
00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:53,602
I'M SOLD OUT.
I SOLD OUT OF MY ORANGES.
132
00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:56,897
I RUN OUT AND PEOPLE ARE LIKE,
BEEP, BEEP, AND I GO, "OKAY,"
133
00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:59,983
AND THEY ARE DRIVING, AND SO
I JUST PUT IT IN THEIR LAP.
134
00:05:59,984 --> 00:06:00,776
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.
135
00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:02,444
YOU PUT AN ORANGE
IN THEIR LAP?
136
00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:04,738
COME ON, TERRY.
137
00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:06,782
I CAN'T DO THAT.
I HAVE TO CALL MY GIRLFRIEND.
138
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:09,826
LISTEN, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
139
00:06:09,827 --> 00:06:13,288
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT YOU GIVING
HAND JOBS THREE BUCKS A POP
140
00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:14,748
AT THIS RED LIGHT UP HERE.
141
00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:16,792
A HAND JOB IS STILL A JOB,
OKAY?
142
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:18,335
COME ON.
EASY DOES IT.
143
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:20,253
XANADU IT RIGHT INTO THE CAR,
NOW.
144
00:06:20,254 --> 00:06:23,632
YOU XANA-DON'T IT.
145
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,008
DID HE JUST SAY
"XANA-DON'T IT"?
146
00:06:25,009 --> 00:06:26,260
I THINK SO, YEAH.
147
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,765
ALTHOUGH GARCIA DOES SAY A LOT
OF STUPID THINGS,
148
00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:32,766
AND WE HEAR ALL OF THEM--
149
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:35,977
UM, HE'S ALWAYS SAYING STUPID
THINGS, OKAY?
150
00:06:35,978 --> 00:06:39,147
SO YOU CAN'T-- YOU GOTTA GET
USED TO THAT, ALL RIGHT?
151
00:06:39,148 --> 00:06:41,358
AND YOU HAVE TO KIND OF
IGNORE IT.
152
00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:43,610
I HEAR GARCIA SAYING SOMETHING
RACIST OR SOMETHING ANTI-WOMEN,
153
00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:46,279
AND I JUST TURN IT OFF,
154
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,615
AND IT'S JUST, "BLAH BLAH BLAH
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH."
155
00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:51,034
LIKE, I-- PROBABLY LIKE
WHAT A DOG HEARS.
156
00:06:51,035 --> 00:06:52,786
EXACTLY.
157
00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:55,497
WELL, THAT'S WHAT A DOG SAYS.
THAT'S NOT WHAT A DOG HEARS.
158
00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:58,834
SO I'M HERE TO VISIT
OFFICER JONES TODAY.
159
00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:01,837
I THOUGHT I'D COME BY AND BRING
HIM A LITTLE CARE PACKAGE.
160
00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:03,839
HE'S WORKING CROSSWALK DUTY
THIS WEEK,
161
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,966
AND I KNOW HE'S PROBABLY
REALLY DOWN,
162
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:08,677
SO I THOUGHT I'D CHEER HIM UP
'CAUSE I KNOW I'D BE UPSET
163
00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,720
IF I HAD TO WORK WITH THESE
LITTLE BASTARDS ALL DAY LONG,
164
00:07:10,721 --> 00:07:12,681
SO...
165
00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:13,557
READY? OKAY.
166
00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:16,518
UP, DOWN, YES.
167
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:19,020
YEAH, AND THEN
LITTLE SPIRITY--
168
00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:21,022
YEAH, OPEN PALM AND SPIRIT.
169
00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:23,191
WELL, I WISH I HAD MY CAMERA.
170
00:07:23,192 --> 00:07:26,570
I WISH I HAD MY CAMERA,
MR. JONES.
171
00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:27,529
TAKE CARE.
BYE, SWEETIE.
172
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:31,199
OH, SOMEONE'S BEING BAD.
WHO'S A BAD BOY?
173
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,660
YOU DON'T NEED
TO JUDGE ME HERE, OKAY?
174
00:07:33,661 --> 00:07:36,329
I'M NOT JUDGING YOU.
I THINK IT'S CUTE.
175
00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:37,706
I THINK IT'S ADORABLE.
176
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,083
THANKS FOR SHOWING UP.
I'M GLAD YOU CAME BY.
177
00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:41,877
YOU'RE WELCOME.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
178
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:44,045
LOOK, IF YOU WANT
CHEERLEADING OUTFITS,
179
00:07:44,046 --> 00:07:46,464
I'VE GOT NOTHING BUT
CHEERLEADING OUTFITS.
180
00:07:46,465 --> 00:07:47,841
OH, DO YOU?
181
00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:51,011
YEAH, AND I CAN DO THE SPLITS
ALL THREE WAYS.
182
00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:53,054
YOU KNOW...
ALL THREE WAYS.
183
00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:54,055
RIGHT, LEFT, MIDDLE.
184
00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:56,725
I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO GET UP FROM
THE GROUND,
185
00:07:56,726 --> 00:08:00,604
AND I CAN DO, ON MY RIGHT LEG,
SPLITS UP AGAINST THE WALL,
186
00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:03,899
SO JUST KEEP THAT UNDER
YOUR HAT.
187
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,568
I WILL. THANK YOU.
I'M GLAD YOU SHOWED UP.
188
00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:07,569
YOU GOT BEER AND--
I MISS YOU.
189
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:10,071
YOU DO?
I MISS YOU, TOO.
190
00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:11,531
THIS IS SAD.
191
00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:13,700
I'M LOOKING AT AN EBONY STATUE
IN TANGERINE,
192
00:08:13,701 --> 00:08:17,579
AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY
'CAUSE IT'S--
193
00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:21,374
IT'S, UH, YOU'RE NOT LIVING UP
TO YOUR POTENTIAL.
194
00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:23,293
WE WANT YOU BACK, YOU KNOW?
195
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:25,420
WELL, THANK YOU FOR THE BEER.
196
00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:27,714
THANK YOU FOR THE SUN BLOCK
AND SANDWICHES.
197
00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:31,718
I'VE GOT A HALF AN HOUR.
YOU WANT TO, UH...
198
00:08:31,719 --> 00:08:34,221
YOU WANT TO DO IT?
YEAH.
YOU WANT TO DO IT?
YEAH.
199
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,264
OKAY.
I DO. LET'S GO.
200
00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:38,725
THERE'S A PORT-O-POTTY, LIKE,
DOWN THE STREET.
201
00:08:38,726 --> 00:08:41,437
LET'S DO IT IN THE CAR.
202
00:08:48,569 --> 00:08:52,614
NO DAY IS EVER TOO BUSY TO STOP
IN AND GET THE HOOK-UP.
203
00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:56,034
YOU CAN'T FIGHT CRIME
IF YOU AIN'T CUTE.
204
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,911
HEY, PEOPLE!
205
00:08:57,912 --> 00:08:59,120
WHAT'S UP?!
206
00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:01,957
HEY, RAINEESHA, GIRL,
WHAT'S UP?!
207
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:02,791
HOW ARE YOU, BABY?
208
00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:05,794
I'M SO GLAD
YOU COULD SQUEEZE ME IN.
209
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:09,673
YES, I WILL OF COURSE SQUEEZE
YOU IN.
210
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:10,924
OF COURSE.
211
00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:12,634
SQUEEZE YOU, GIRL.
212
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:15,470
HEY, GIRLFRIEND!
WHOO-WHOO!
213
00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:16,304
DANGLE?
214
00:09:16,305 --> 00:09:18,765
YEAH, I'M KICKING IT
AT CHANDRA'S.
215
00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:20,183
WHAT YOU DOIN' HERE?
216
00:09:20,184 --> 00:09:22,185
I ASKED YOU
WHERE'S THE BEST PLACE,
217
00:09:22,186 --> 00:09:23,770
AND YOU TOLD ME WHERE'S
THE BEST PLACE, AND HERE I AM.
218
00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:26,147
I'M JUST-- I'M SURPRISED.
219
00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:27,691
I MEAN, I DIDN'T EXPECT
TO SEE YOU.
220
00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:29,192
SHE'S THE BEST.
221
00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:31,736
WELL, Y'ALL HURRY IT ON UP
THEN, I GUESS.
222
00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:34,322
YEAH, GIRL, JUST--
223
00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:35,824
WAIT A SECOND.
224
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:40,120
HELLO, UM, UH, WHEN DID
PARKER POSEY BECOME A CRACKHEAD?
225
00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:40,787
WHO PARKER POSEY?
226
00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:42,872
OH, SHE LOOK HORRIBLE.
227
00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:43,957
BLACK WOMEN-- WE DRESS.
228
00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:47,252
A BLACK GIRL DRESSED LIKE THAT,
THEY PICK YOU UP.
229
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,170
SPEAKING OF MARRIED
FIVE TIMES,
230
00:09:49,171 --> 00:09:51,673
YOU KNOW WHO'S COMING UP
NEXT YEAR? LIZA.
231
00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:53,174
WHITE WOMEN AGE BAD.
232
00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:55,051
WHITE WOMEN AGE REAL BAD.
233
00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:58,638
WHOO-HOO! HELLO. HELLO.
LOCK IT ON UP, JACK.
234
00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:02,183
I GOT AN APPOINTMENT I GOT TO
KEEP, GOTTA GO SEE MY MAN.
235
00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:04,477
GOING TO SEE JONES,
I TOLD YOU.
236
00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:06,855
HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO SEE
SOMEBODY NAME OF JONES.
237
00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:09,316
THAT'S WHAT HE SAID.
238
00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:11,359
WHEN HE CAME IN, HE SAID,
"YEAH, GIRL, HOOK ME UP.
239
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:12,861
"I'M GOING TO SEE JONES.
240
00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:14,738
I GOTTA LOOK RIGHT,
GET MY HIGHLIGHTS REDONE."
241
00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:17,532
ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT MY JONES?
242
00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:20,035
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT HE SAID
WHEN HE CAME IN-- JONES.
243
00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:22,579
JONES-- THAT'S THE NAME
YOU SAID, RIGHT? JONES?
244
00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:24,539
I KNOW IT WAS JONES.
YOU SAID JONES.
245
00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:26,333
THIS IS BURNING
A LITTLE BIT.
246
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:28,209
OH, DO YOU HAVE
A TENDER HEAD?
247
00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:29,836
SHEENA, GO PUT HIM UNDER
THE SHAMPOO BOWL.
248
00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:32,756
I'M BURNING A LITTLE BIT.
I'M BURNING A LITTLE BIT.
249
00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:35,884
ARE YOU TELLING ME
THAT HE SAID TO YOU
250
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:38,511
THAT HE WAS GONNA GET
ALL PULLED TOGETHER
251
00:10:38,512 --> 00:10:39,721
TO GO SEE MY JONES?
252
00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:40,722
MM-HMM.
253
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:43,184
WHY DON'T YOU RENT A BILLBOARD,
CHANDRA?
254
00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:54,694
GOOD AFTERNOON.
255
00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:55,945
WHERE YOU GOING TO IN SUCH
A HURRY?
256
00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:57,906
I'M-- I'M DOING
A MAGIC SHOW.
257
00:10:57,907 --> 00:10:59,949
I'M AN ENTERTAINER.
I DO MAGIC.
258
00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:04,537
OKAY, SO YOU NEED TO SWERVE ALL
OVER THE ROAD TO DO THAT, SIR?
259
00:11:04,538 --> 00:11:06,706
I WAS IN A LITTLE BIT OF
A HURRY.
260
00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:08,708
YOU BEEN DRINKING?
261
00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:09,751
UH, NO.
262
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,795
LET ME SEE YOUR EYES.
263
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,755
CAN YOU PLEASE TAKE THOSE OFF
264
00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:16,925
SO I CAN SEE YOUR EYES
SO I CAN BELIEVE YOU?
265
00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:18,927
OKAY, SO WE CAN DO THIS
THE EASY WAY
266
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,929
OR WE CAN DO THIS
THE HARD WAY.
267
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:23,807
IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO
TELL ME ABOUT IN YOUR POCKETS
268
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:26,351
OR ELSEWHERE ON YOUR BODY BEFORE
I FRISK YOU
269
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:28,937
OR YOU WANNA JUST ADMIT TO IT
RIGHT NOW AT YOUR--
270
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:31,439
ANY CONTRABAND,
ANY DRUGS?
CARDS.
271
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,316
PUT IT
ON THE TOP OF THE CAR.
272
00:11:33,317 --> 00:11:35,652
ONE OF MY BALLS.
273
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:36,736
SILK.
274
00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:38,780
ON TOP OF THE CAR,
PLEASE.
275
00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:40,407
THERE'S YOUR OTHER BALL.
276
00:11:42,618 --> 00:11:45,245
I WAS A MAGICIAN'S ASSISTANT
FOR MANY YEARS,
277
00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:46,621
AND THAT'S GROSS.
278
00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:48,748
WE'RE NOT GONNA TALK
ABOUT THAT NOW.
279
00:11:48,749 --> 00:11:49,874
JUST PUT THAT
ON TOP OF THE CAR.
280
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:52,669
RUBBER CHICKEN.
281
00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:54,796
NO, IT'S-- IT'S-- IT'S--
IT'S A--
282
00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:57,298
ON TOP OF THE CAR.
I DON'T WANT YOUR--
283
00:11:57,299 --> 00:11:59,426
I DON'T WANT YOUR CROTCH
FLOWERS.
284
00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:00,678
ON TOP OF THE CAR!
285
00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:06,641
AND THAT'S ALL I GOT,
MA'AM.
286
00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:07,976
NOW, YOU'VE WASTED
A LOT OF TIME.
287
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:08,810
ARE YOU SURE
THERE'S NOTHING ELSE?
288
00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:11,646
NOTHING YOU WANT TO TELL ME,
HUH?
289
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:12,981
NOTHING YOU WANT TO TELL ME?
290
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,941
ROCK COCAINE.
A LITTLE ROCK COCAINE.
291
00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:15,984
HUH? HUH?
292
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:20,989
OH, WASTING MY TIME,
AND NOW I'M ANNOYED.
293
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:22,031
ALL RIGHT,
YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL.
294
00:12:22,032 --> 00:12:24,617
NO. NO, NO. IT'S NOT--
295
00:12:24,618 --> 00:12:26,619
NO, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
296
00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:28,663
THIS ISN'T GONNA WORK WITH ME,
MA'AM.
297
00:12:28,664 --> 00:12:30,665
I'M TELLING YOU.
IT'S NOT GONNA WORK.
298
00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:34,294
GET IN THE CAR,
AND YOU BETTER COOPERATE.
299
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:34,961
YOU WANT YOUR WATCH BACK?
300
00:12:34,962 --> 00:12:37,005
GET IN THE CAR!
301
00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:39,048
HERE, YOU CAN HAVE YOUR WATCH
BACK.
302
00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:40,300
ALL RIGHT.
303
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:41,342
UNH-UNH.
304
00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:43,052
GO THAT WAY, PAL.
305
00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:45,013
UNH-UNH.
306
00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:46,848
UNDER RECONSTRUCTION
OVER HERE, OKAY?
307
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:47,808
KEEP GOING.
308
00:12:52,771 --> 00:12:55,690
I DON'T THINK THERE WAS ANY REAL
REASON FOR JONES TO HIT GARCIA
309
00:12:55,691 --> 00:12:58,359
'CAUSE GARCIA'S A MAN WHO'S
ALREADY DOWN, YOU KNOW?
310
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:01,988
GARCIA AIN'T GOT, UH, UH...
311
00:13:01,989 --> 00:13:03,364
FRIENDS.
312
00:13:03,365 --> 00:13:05,909
HE LIVES IN A LITTLE
APARTMENT.
313
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:10,538
HE, UH, DON'T HAVE NO FAMILY
THAT I KNOW OF.
314
00:13:10,539 --> 00:13:13,917
HE, UH, AIN'T GOT NO TASTE.
HE'S RACIST. HE'S SEXIST.
315
00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:16,878
HE'S A LYING, BIGOT,
HORSE'S ASS.
316
00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:19,839
I THINK, YOU KNOW, HITTING HIM
317
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:23,134
IS JUST THROWING ON TOP
OF A BIG PILE
318
00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:25,094
THAT'S ALREADY GOT TOO MUCH
IN IT.
319
00:13:25,095 --> 00:13:28,014
JONES CAN'T--
HE CAN'T QUIT.
320
00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:30,183
HE JUST CAN'T.
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
HE JUST CAN'T.
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
321
00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:34,229
HE'S THE GLUE
HOLDING OUR--
322
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:38,691
WE'RE LIKE A LITTLE BADLY
MADE BIRDHOUSE.
323
00:13:38,692 --> 00:13:41,694
I MEAN, THE ONLY THING HOLDING
THIS BIRDHOUSE TOGETHER
324
00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:42,904
IS JONES.
325
00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:44,113
YOU TWO ARE NOT--
326
00:13:44,114 --> 00:13:45,031
YOU ARE NOT HER MOTHER.
327
00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:48,368
THEY HAVE, LIKE,
A SHOW WHERE--
328
00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:49,369
HEY.
329
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:51,788
Y'ALL DRIVING
THAT GREEN HONDA?
330
00:13:51,789 --> 00:13:55,583
YOU ABOUT TO GET A TICKET
'CAUSE I'M ABOUT TO WRITE IT.
331
00:13:55,584 --> 00:13:58,753
I GOT YOUR NUMBER, OKAY?
HEY. HOW YOU DOIN'?
332
00:13:58,754 --> 00:14:00,088
I GOT YOUR NUMBER.
333
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:03,591
HEY, WHAT YOU GOT?
SOMETHING SMELLS GOOD.
334
00:14:03,592 --> 00:14:05,593
I THOUGHT
YOU MIGHT BE HUNGRY.
335
00:14:05,594 --> 00:14:07,887
HAD SOME MEATLOAF
LAST NIGHT. BAM.
336
00:14:07,888 --> 00:14:08,888
MMM.
337
00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:10,098
THAT'S RAINEESHA'S MEATLOAF.
338
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:12,642
THAT'S WHAT THAT IS.
339
00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:14,769
ASK RAINEESHA WHAT THIS IS.
340
00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:16,229
WHAT IS IT?
341
00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:19,399
IT'S A LITTLE GIFT FOR YOUR DESK
WHEN YOU COME ON BACK,
342
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,150
ALL RIGHT?
343
00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:24,112
RAE, I'M NOT GONNA-- I'M NOT--
I'M NOT COMING BACK.
344
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:28,157
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT
COMING BACK? WHY?
345
00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:29,784
LOOK AT WHERE I AM.
346
00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:32,287
I AM HAVING A GREAT TIME
OUT HERE.
347
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:33,997
I'M OUT IN GOD'S COUNTRY.
348
00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:36,666
I'M GIVING BACK
TO THE COMMUNITY.
349
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:38,710
THE CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTURE,
350
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,462
AND I AM GIVING BACK
TO THE COMMUNITY.
351
00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:42,630
COME ON, NOW.
352
00:14:42,631 --> 00:14:44,132
YOU COME ON BACK,
353
00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:46,551
I'M GONNA GIVE YOU YOUR PRESENT
NOW AS INCENTIVE.
354
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:49,262
BAM.
ALL ABOUT RAINEESHA, HUH?
355
00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:51,014
SHE TOOK IT RIGHT HERE.
UNH.
356
00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:54,309
I KNOW YOU NEEDS TO SEE THAT,
HUH?
357
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:56,144
HOLLER.
YOU COME ON BACK.
358
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:57,687
YOU THINK ABOUT THAT.
359
00:14:57,688 --> 00:14:59,105
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
THANK YOU, RAE.
360
00:14:59,106 --> 00:15:01,983
ALL RIGHT.
I'LL SEE YOU WHEN YOU GET BACK.
361
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:04,361
I'M NOT COMING BACK.
362
00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:14,329
MY JOB AS AN OFFICER IS TO MAKE
SURE YOU KIDS ARE SAFE.
363
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,998
BUT TRUTH BE TOLD, I CAN'T BE
EVERYWHERE AT ONCE.
364
00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:20,168
I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE WEARING
A SHORT SKIRT.
365
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:24,005
I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE WEARING
DUNGAREES.
366
00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:25,590
I DON'T CARE IF YOU SMELL BAD.
367
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:27,967
I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE FUN
TO BE AROUND.
368
00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:34,140
BUT YOU CAN BE REST ASSURED THAT
EVERY ONE OF YOU AT SOME POINT
369
00:15:34,141 --> 00:15:36,017
IS GONNA BE RAPED.
370
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,685
IT HAPPENS.
371
00:15:37,686 --> 00:15:41,230
HEY, I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT.
372
00:15:41,231 --> 00:15:44,025
BUT THERE IS SOME GOOD NEWS.
373
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:47,987
CAN YOU IMAGINE-- YOU GO TO
YOUR DOCTOR AND YOU SAY,
374
00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:49,238
"I'VE BEEN RAPED,"
375
00:15:49,239 --> 00:15:51,366
AND HE GOES, "OH, MY GOD,
THAT'S HORRIBLE,"
376
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,409
AND THEN HE SAYS,
"BUT GUESS WHAT?
377
00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:55,828
"POT OF GOLD AT THE END OF
THE RAINBOW--
378
00:15:55,829 --> 00:15:58,748
"YOU'RE PREGNANT...
379
00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:01,376
AND YOU'RE HAVING TRIPLETS."
380
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:02,377
OH, MY GOD.
381
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:04,379
AND THEN I GO, "OH, MY GOD,"
382
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:07,423
AND I FREAK OUT, AND I CALL
EVERYBODY.
383
00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:09,217
THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN TO ME.
384
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:11,637
THAT HASN'T HAPPENED TO ME YET.
385
00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:22,105
YOU GIRLS
SHOULD BE IN SCHOOL.
386
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:24,232
HI, BUD!
387
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:26,275
HEY.
388
00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:28,152
UH, SORRY. EXCUSE ME.
389
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:32,407
MISS CARVER,
THIS IS LIEUTENANT DANGLE.
390
00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,200
DANGLE,
THIS IS MISS CARVER.
391
00:16:34,201 --> 00:16:37,286
SHE TEACHES ALGEBRA
AT HIGH SCHOOL.
392
00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:41,541
UM...
393
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:42,917
YES.
394
00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:46,713
YES, SHE DOES.
395
00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:49,298
UM...
396
00:16:49,299 --> 00:16:53,928
I GOT YOU A BEAR.
397
00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:57,432
"COME BACK, JONES."
398
00:16:57,433 --> 00:17:00,727
I FEEL LIKE AN ASSHOLE
TAKE THE BEAR. TAKE IT.
399
00:17:00,728 --> 00:17:02,770
I FEEL LIKE A ASSHOLE.
400
00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:04,564
NO, I FEEL LIKE AN ASSHOLE.
401
00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:06,107
I APPRECIATE IT.
402
00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:08,861
YEAH. GOOD LUCK WITH ALGEBRA,
BY THE WAY.
403
00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:19,954
OH, GOD, MY BIKE.
404
00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:21,330
OH ME!
405
00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:23,499
PEOPLE ARE ASSHOLES.
406
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:25,960
I WAS THERE FOR TWO MINUTES.
407
00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:28,796
YOU BETTER NOT BE LAUGHING
AT ME!
408
00:17:28,797 --> 00:17:31,300
YOU'RE ALL ACCESSORIES!
EVERY ONE OF YOU'S AN ACCESSORY!
409
00:17:38,682 --> 00:17:40,516
HEY, LOOK AT THIS SON OF
A BITCH.
410
00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:41,559
LOOK AT THIS GUY.
411
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,144
THAT POOR
DRESSED UP LIKE A MILK SHAKE.
412
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:46,481
WHY'D YOU THROW THAT
AT HIM?
413
00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:48,191
POOR SON OF A BITCH OUT THERE
BEING A SANDWICH BOARD.
414
00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:51,319
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU HAVE TO BE
A DICK.
415
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,154
WHAT?
THE GUY'S OUT THERE.
416
00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:54,363
HE'S PROBABLY MAKING LIKE $3
AN HOUR.
417
00:17:54,364 --> 00:17:56,616
YOU, YOU
418
00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:58,159
HEY! THAT SON OF A BITCH.
419
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:02,038
RUN, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU RUN
MOTHER !
420
00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:03,372
GET DOWN!
421
00:18:03,373 --> 00:18:06,876
SON OF A BITCH!
YOU BETTER RUN MOTHER !
422
00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:11,340
FREEZE!
423
00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:11,339
FREEZE, MOTHER !
FREEZE!
FREEZE, MOTHER !
424
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:12,465
YEAH,
YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY?
425
00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:15,343
DO YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY?
426
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:17,553
WHO'S FUNNY NOW, SHAKE?
427
00:18:17,554 --> 00:18:18,679
HUH? HUH?
428
00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:21,516
TURN THAT THING OFF.
429
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:23,100
TURN THAT OFF NOW.
430
00:18:23,101 --> 00:18:25,561
YOU'RE NOT ROLLING NOW
ARE YOU?
431
00:18:35,739 --> 00:18:37,406
YOU'RE OFF, RIGHT?
432
00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:40,493
I'M SO SORRY.
433
00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:42,036
OW!
434
00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:48,209
I CAN'T GET OUT!
435
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:49,335
HELP ME!
436
00:18:49,336 --> 00:18:53,422
I'M STUCK IN HERE!
437
00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:55,258
BYE, AMBER.
WE'LL SEE YOU.
438
00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:57,636
HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND,
OKAY, GUYS?
439
00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:08,729
HEY.
440
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:12,066
HOW'S IT GOING, JONES?
441
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:16,404
I WANTED TO, UH, JUST SAY THAT
I'M AN IDIOT.
442
00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:20,199
I WAS A REAL JACKELOPE.
443
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,536
I GOT CAUGHT UP IN THE HEAT
OF A JOKE,
444
00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:25,621
AND BAD THINGS HAPPENED,
445
00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:30,251
AND, UH, EVERYBODY DOWN AT THE
STATION, UH, MISSES YOU.
446
00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:35,923
I MISS YOU, AND, UH...
I WOULD REALLY LIKE IT
447
00:19:35,924 --> 00:19:41,721
IF WE COULD BE FRIENDS OR
PARTNERS AGAIN, AND...
448
00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:44,223
I WANTED TO MAKE AMENDS.
449
00:19:44,224 --> 00:19:47,436
I BROUGHT YOU SOMETHING
TO EAT.
450
00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:52,940
THANK YOU.
451
00:19:52,941 --> 00:19:55,484
I KNOW THAT WAS REAL HARD
FOR YOU TO SAY, MAN.
452
00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:56,403
I DID THAT RIGHT.
453
00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:03,577
THIS IS FRIED CHICKEN
AND MALT LIQUOR.
454
00:20:11,501 --> 00:20:14,795
YEAH, YEAH,
I THINK YOU SHOULD.
455
00:20:14,796 --> 00:20:16,548
OKAY.
456
00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:21,011
SHOULD I TAKE IT?
NO.
457
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:49,957
{\an8}- Captions by VITAC--
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