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1
00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:13,554
{\an8}Reno, this is 41-Frank-15.
2
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:16,223
We're in hot pursuit
of a white echo
3
00:00:16,224 --> 00:00:18,308
license Nevada. "I-M-A--"
4
00:00:18,309 --> 00:00:20,561
- It's a vanity plate.
- It's a vanity plate.
5
00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:22,688
I'm, I'm, uh...
6
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:24,481
- I'm a, I'm a...
- I'm a, I'm a...
7
00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:26,483
- I'm a X-C.
- I'm a double-X.
8
00:00:26,484 --> 00:00:28,110
I'm an X-X-Y.
9
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,487
I'm a hermaph...
I'm a hermaphrodite?
10
00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:31,989
What the hell
is that supposed to mean?
11
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,240
Crap! He's stopping!
12
00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:51,258
{\an8}Hey, dog. Yeah.
13
00:00:56,473 --> 00:00:58,348
{\an8}'Shots fired.'
14
00:00:58,349 --> 00:01:00,769
{\an8}Oh, oh, oh!
15
00:01:26,377 --> 00:01:28,296
'Watch commander to the
bridge.'
16
00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:34,676
Hello, everybody,
I'm Dr. Barnes
17
00:01:34,677 --> 00:01:37,179
and I have, uh, the results
of your, uh--
18
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:39,389
{\an8}Dr. Barnes, I just want
to let you know right away
19
00:01:39,390 --> 00:01:42,476
that, um, if you found any THC
20
00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:44,394
any marijuana in my blood,
or urine
21
00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:47,022
I just want to say
22
00:01:47,023 --> 00:01:50,192
that I had to bust up a party
the other night
23
00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:52,861
where there was a lot of
pot-smoking going on, so, um...
24
00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:53,862
Alright.
25
00:01:53,863 --> 00:01:56,406
Not-Not that you're gonna
find anything like that
26
00:01:56,407 --> 00:01:58,367
in my blood or urine
27
00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:00,828
but if you did,
that would be the reason.
28
00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:01,870
What was your name again, ma'am?
29
00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:02,621
Uh, Clementine Johnson.
30
00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:05,207
Clementine, yes,
yes, you do have
31
00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:07,417
a-a-a small, trace amount there.
32
00:02:07,418 --> 00:02:09,878
'I-I would not take
that sort of order again'
33
00:02:09,879 --> 00:02:11,421
of being busting a place
with a lot of pot in it
34
00:02:11,422 --> 00:02:14,675
because, uh, uh...
35
00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:15,759
you-your being pregnant and all
36
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,761
'that could have
some sort of effect.'
37
00:02:18,763 --> 00:02:20,389
No. That is a mistake.
38
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,891
These are, uh,
very accurate tests, ma'am.
39
00:02:22,892 --> 00:02:24,768
You're not,
you can't be right about that.
40
00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:27,938
Not to be indiscreet, but what
were you doing seven weeks ago?
41
00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:29,064
Ooh, ooh!
42
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:31,692
Congratulations, girl!
43
00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:33,402
Don't say that. No, no.
44
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:36,196
- Welcome to motherhood.
- Shh.
45
00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:38,407
'Well, we have, um,
a few other things to do'
46
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:41,243
but, uh, none of them include,
uh, disrobing.
47
00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:42,619
I don't know why you're all, uh,
sitting here
48
00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:45,080
with your clothes off.
I didn't, uh--
49
00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:48,709
Why are we sitting here
with our clothes off, Dangle?
50
00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:49,751
Lieutenant?
51
00:02:49,752 --> 00:02:51,336
When we came in
he was in his underwear.
52
00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:52,713
You were already
in your underwear.
53
00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:54,131
When we came in,
so I just thought--
54
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,258
Well, uh, I don't have
to explain myself.
55
00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:59,803
{\an8}I-I-I don't, I don't feel
the need to explain myself.
56
00:03:04,475 --> 00:03:06,310
{\an8}How we doing today, ma'am?
57
00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:08,562
{\an8}- Just fine. How are you?
- I'm doing good, ma'am.
58
00:03:08,563 --> 00:03:09,271
{\an8}'Can I ask you
to put that gun down?'
59
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:11,857
Oh-ho, don't point it at me.
60
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:13,275
This is my gun,
this own alone to me.
61
00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:14,902
This belong to me and I'm fine.
62
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:15,777
I'm glad,
but put it down, ma'am.
63
00:03:15,778 --> 00:03:18,488
I'mma put it right here,
but you know what?
64
00:03:18,489 --> 00:03:19,781
What happened here
is not my fault.
65
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:22,868
Put, it, set it on that chair
right there.
66
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:25,621
I just had to take care
of my business today, okay?
67
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:27,664
I don't know.
I'm gonna keep this.
68
00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:29,291
- Sister, what happened?
- Girl, okay.
69
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:31,501
This man come up here
and livin' in my house
70
00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:33,795
run off my baby daddy, okay?
71
00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:35,464
I had to be livin' up here
with him
72
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:38,300
and he went out to truck
and got this skanky little woman
73
00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:39,009
talkin' about that's his cousin
74
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:41,053
can she stay with us
for a while.
75
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:42,512
- No, he didn't!
- Yes he did!
76
00:03:42,513 --> 00:03:43,805
What she look like?
77
00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:45,557
'Oh, girl, she look like
Mariah Carey on crack.'
78
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:48,685
- What he look like?
- He looked like Danny Glover.
79
00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:51,188
I'mma hook you up.
I'm gonna hook you up today.
80
00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:53,482
- Oh, thank you.
- Huh?
81
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:56,401
Huh? We gonna take this
right on up in the house.
82
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:58,403
- Come on.
- No, no! Ho!
83
00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:02,157
I'm gonna call this in, Rae.
I will call this in.
84
00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:04,326
- You need to calm down.
- He is not gonna play her!
85
00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:06,286
I'll go in there
and talk to the man, alright?
86
00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:08,330
No, I'mma go and talk
'cause you gonna talk.
87
00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:09,456
I'm gonna mace.
I'm gonna use mace.
88
00:04:09,457 --> 00:04:12,000
No! Ho, ho, ho!
89
00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:14,670
- Ho, ho, ho, ho! No! No!
- Get him, girl!
90
00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:18,507
- No, no! No! No! No!
- Get him!
91
00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:20,175
No! No!
92
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:23,596
{\an8}Who-Who do I think is the father
of Clementine's baby?
93
00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:30,852
{\an8}I was looking for the phone
book. I was gonna go, brrp!
94
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:41,029
He right about that 'cause
there ain't no telling. Uh-uh.
95
00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:43,074
We have a phone book, usually.
It would have been funnier.
96
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:50,289
{\an8}Hey.
97
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:55,043
What in the Sam heck
you kids doin' up here?
98
00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:56,962
Do you know you're not supposed
to be up here, right?
99
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,547
- You want to go to jail?
- You want to go?
100
00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:00,674
You wanna, you wanna, you wanna
go to the booty house?
101
00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:02,718
- 'Okay.'
- 'Cause we'll go.
102
00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:04,886
We'll go, okay?
103
00:05:04,887 --> 00:05:07,889
So what are you doing up here
for real?
104
00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:10,350
Trying to jump over
on to the other roof.
105
00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:12,894
You're trying to jump over
this ramp on your bike
106
00:05:12,895 --> 00:05:13,603
to the other roof?
107
00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:15,565
Yeah.
108
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,236
Oh, man.
109
00:05:21,237 --> 00:05:23,530
- Oh, no!
- Oh! No.
110
00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:25,449
- 'Hell, no!'
- Whoo, that's a long way.
111
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,576
You honestly believe you can
just take that little bike
112
00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:30,078
over that ramp,
across the other side?
113
00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:31,913
- Yeah, I can make it.
- You can make it?
114
00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:33,540
- Yeah, I bet you I can make it.
- Oh, you bet.
115
00:05:33,541 --> 00:05:34,624
- He bets you.
- He bets you.
116
00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:37,753
Okay, Kenny Rogers, Mr. Gambler.
117
00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:38,754
'I'll tell you what, I got...'
118
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:40,464
Look at that, I got $5.
What do you got, Jones?
119
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:43,425
I got...
What do I got? I got, I got $3.
120
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:45,052
You know what that is?
That's eight.
121
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:47,471
Eight Reno, Nevada, Washoe
County, American dollars
122
00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:49,931
says that you cannot jump
over that ramp
123
00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:51,391
and make it to the other side.
124
00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:52,642
I'll take that bet.
125
00:05:52,643 --> 00:05:55,312
- Okay.
- Whoo!
126
00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:57,439
- 'Let's go!'
- 'Go, champ.'
127
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:58,565
'Go, go, go, go!'
128
00:05:58,566 --> 00:06:02,653
'Go, go, go, go!
Go, go, go, go!'
129
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:10,077
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
130
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:11,828
- Holy ***.
- ***.
131
00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:13,121
Goddamnit.
132
00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:14,498
- Go, go, go, go!
- Should we call a medic?
133
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:15,624
No, hell, no.
They'll know we're here.
134
00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:25,175
{\an8}Clemmy's unborn child...
135
00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:28,929
{\an8}...is, hopefully,
gonna be a bastard
136
00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,764
because I'll tell you,
I've seen some of the men
137
00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:33,100
that she's spent time with.
138
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:35,770
And A, half of 'em are not...
139
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,147
...you know, white.
140
00:06:39,148 --> 00:06:40,690
And B, the other half
141
00:06:40,691 --> 00:06:45,654
are, uh, no more than above
a fifth-grade education.
142
00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:49,116
{\an8}Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
excuse me
143
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:51,451
if I can interrupt your meals
for one second here.
144
00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:53,537
I know you don't know me,
but, um, I just
145
00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:56,665
I'm compelled to tell you
that I'm gonna be a daddy.
146
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:59,126
- 'Whoo!'
- 'I'm the new dad.'
147
00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:00,628
Thank you, thank you. Cheers.
148
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:06,049
- Mm...
- Mm...
149
00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:08,094
You know it isn't yours, right?
150
00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:09,845
Check.
151
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:18,019
{\an8}Okey-doke, it is 1600 hours
152
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:22,149
{\an8}and we are staking out
the hotel room of Luis Hernandez
153
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:25,026
known drug trafficker.
We've got a little heads-up.
154
00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:27,028
'he's got a deal going down
here, and, uh--'
155
00:07:27,029 --> 00:07:28,697
'How long we've been here,
Dangle?'
156
00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:31,199
We've been here three hours
and one quarter.
157
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,786
- 'Damn. It does not fly.'
- 'Yeah.'
158
00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:37,789
Gimme those for a second.
Check out room six.
159
00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:40,167
We're supposed to be watching
room five.
160
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:42,878
No, I know. I know. Room five,
he's not doing anything.
161
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:43,753
Oh, my *** God!
162
00:07:43,754 --> 00:07:46,214
- What?
- 'That's Leonard Nimoy.'
163
00:07:46,215 --> 00:07:47,716
You're supposed to keep
the camera on this guy--
164
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:49,926
Here, I'll put this one
over here.
165
00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:51,511
'That's not Leonard Nimoy.'
166
00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:52,345
'Why would Leonard Nimoy'
167
00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:54,389
'be staying
at a place like this?'
168
00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:55,682
Hello!
He's keeping a low profile.
169
00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:59,186
Pfft! Leonard Nimoy's
already got a low profile
170
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:00,145
'cause he's Leonard Nimoy.
171
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,439
That's about as low-profile
as you can get
172
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,900
unless maybe you're that kid
who played Chachi.
173
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,067
Like, that's-that's low.
174
00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:07,944
You're comparing
175
00:08:07,945 --> 00:08:10,238
Mr. Spock to Chachi?
176
00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:13,158
Chachi's not an icon.
There aren't Chachi conventions.
177
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:15,827
He and Chachi should be
on the same goddamn TV show.
178
00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:18,747
If they were doin', like,
some kind of "Remember The '70s"
179
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:20,582
then both of them would be
on it, it'd be like
180
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:22,584
"Hey, Chachi, why don't you
shake hands with Dr. Spock?"
181
00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:23,752
You're denying...
Holy ***.
182
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:26,254
He's checking the door again.
What's going on?
183
00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:28,256
Oh, ***.
184
00:08:28,257 --> 00:08:30,634
- 'No, no, nothin'.'
- No.
185
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:34,262
I thought we had some drug-deal
action. No, screw that.
186
00:08:34,263 --> 00:08:36,765
'The only person here having
an okay time is Leonard Nimoy.'
187
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:37,807
'Oh, that is not Leonard
Nimoy.'
188
00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:39,601
'It is.'
189
00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:42,312
{\an8}The question,
who is Clemmy's baby
190
00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:44,272
{\an8}is, like,
the million-dollar question.
191
00:08:44,273 --> 00:08:46,233
{\an8}It's like
the-the question of the century.
192
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:48,818
{\an8}It's like, "Who shot J.R.?"
193
00:08:48,819 --> 00:08:51,279
It could be,
it could be anybody.
194
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,865
Well, and J.R., it was only
a very limited number of people
195
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:56,618
who could have shot J.R.
196
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:58,286
Dallas is huge.
Do you know how huge?
197
00:08:58,287 --> 00:08:59,246
Yeah, but the show "Dallas"
198
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,915
wasn't about
every single person in Dallas.
199
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:05,043
It was about
the, the Ewing family.
200
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:05,794
It wasn't like
that was a cast of
201
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:08,922
what, 2.5 million?
202
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:10,674
You saw the Ewing family
and that was it.
203
00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:14,302
So "Who shot J.R.?" was
basically, like, three people.
204
00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:16,763
Okay, the question, the question
at hand is, "Who tapped Clemmy?"
205
00:09:16,764 --> 00:09:19,684
- You.
- Yes.
206
00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:21,893
{\an8}Some of you may
or may not know, uh
207
00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:24,729
{\an8}prostitution is legal
in the state of Nevada.
208
00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:28,316
{\an8}Uh, that would, of course,
cover Reno.
209
00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:30,443
Uh, so right now
210
00:09:30,444 --> 00:09:32,112
we're pulling up to a place
called the Chicken Hole
211
00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:35,407
uh, an establishment
run by our friend, Claire.
212
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:36,825
You'd think the things that they
do in here would relax somebody
213
00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:38,827
but it has the opposite effect.
214
00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:41,162
- How you doin'?
- Hey, come on in.
215
00:09:41,163 --> 00:09:42,664
- Hi, Claire
- Come here, baby.
216
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,916
- What's going on, sweetie?
- 'Well, I don't...'
217
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:47,168
You know what, honest to God,
I swear to Christ, I don't know.
218
00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:48,670
I didn't call.
The [bleep] upstairs called.
219
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:51,923
I called you this time.
I called you this time.
220
00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:54,342
Yeah, the shoe's on
the other foot. Check this out.
221
00:09:55,886 --> 00:09:56,803
Shut up! Shut up!
222
00:09:56,804 --> 00:09:59,389
Hey, Jones, get over here!
223
00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:00,307
Hey, come on, let's go. Come on.
224
00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:01,725
'Let me show you something.'
225
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:03,310
'Alright, look, look,
let me just tell you.'
226
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,019
- Let me just tell you, okay?
- Okay.
227
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:05,895
I just finished my lovemakin'.
228
00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:08,356
I just did my-my lovemakin'
over there, alright?
229
00:10:08,357 --> 00:10:10,233
I wanna clean myself off,
I want to take a shower
230
00:10:10,234 --> 00:10:12,360
so I can be respectable.
I walk in here. Look at this.
231
00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:14,529
Look, look, look,
look at all these walls, empty.
232
00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:15,989
No, there's not a sign in here
that says
233
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:18,033
"Employees must wash hands."
That's state of Nevada law!
234
00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:20,535
'That's because
it's a whorehouse, you ***.'
235
00:10:20,536 --> 00:10:22,495
You still
got to be clean, whores!
236
00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:23,830
But you're loud, okay?
You know what?
237
00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:27,500
How many times you've been here,
Andrew, 25, 26?
238
00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:28,543
And today you're gonna
complain--
239
00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:30,211
Today's the day that
you complain about the damn--
240
00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:31,796
Let me tell you something,
it's been brewing.
241
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:33,340
It's been brewing 'cause
I'm thinking about myself.
242
00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:35,050
I'm thinking today.
I'm finishin' my lovemakin'.
243
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:37,177
I got juices all over me.
I got my male juices.
244
00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:40,055
I got the female juices on me.
When you blink, you got juices.
245
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:41,556
There's,
there's juices everywhere.
246
00:10:41,557 --> 00:10:42,682
But let me tell you something.
247
00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:43,892
So I got to clean
those juices off.
248
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,393
When I walk in here, no one else
249
00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:47,062
is cleaning their juice.
I'm like, "My God!"
250
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:49,564
"I'm makin' love in juice."
But let me tell you something--
251
00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:52,400
You know, if you wanna wash,
go to a KOA campground
252
00:10:52,401 --> 00:10:54,402
pay-pay a quarter
for a goddamn shower.
253
00:10:54,403 --> 00:10:56,613
Oh, she says, "Thank you."
Like, I get that reference.
254
00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:57,781
Okay, okay, shut the fuck up,
bitch!
255
00:10:57,782 --> 00:11:00,033
You want a shower?
Let's get a shower.
256
00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:03,078
- Oh, you wanna go there--
- Take your shower--
257
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:04,913
- Yeah. There you go--
- All clean now--
258
00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:07,415
- 'Boo!'
- There you go--
259
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:11,252
Alright, you know what?
I don't care...
260
00:11:11,253 --> 00:11:12,921
{\an8}- Ladies, call your congressmen!
- Boo!
261
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:17,092
'Boo! Boo!'
262
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:19,136
'Okay, ladies,
call your congressmen!'
263
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:27,769
{\an8}You know, I don't know
if Clementine Johnson
264
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,229
{\an8}can be a good mom.
265
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:31,815
{\an8}That's a hearty adjective
for that woman. Hell, no.
266
00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:34,901
To be honest, if she don't have
a paternal figure in her life
267
00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:37,278
that baby's gonna
run around naked
268
00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:38,405
peeing on everything and...
269
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:41,116
It's basically gonna be like
a stray cat, you know
270
00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:44,577
that just pees
on all the furniture.
271
00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:46,704
I-I think
she's gonna need some help.
272
00:11:46,705 --> 00:11:48,331
'Alright, uh'
273
00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:51,251
{\an8}I'll go with the, uh,
vegetarian pizza
274
00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:55,130
and, uh, quesadilla chicken.
275
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:57,425
She will have something
of less than or equal value.
276
00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:03,305
Uh, just, uh, popcorn chicken,
I guess.
277
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:05,932
- Hope--
- Yeah, I'm in a bad spot.
278
00:12:05,933 --> 00:12:08,017
Yeah, I know you are.
279
00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:09,894
'I-I happen to think
it's a good spot.'
280
00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:13,106
'I sure would, uh,
jump at this great opportunity'
281
00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:16,317
'to, you know, be a dad.'
282
00:12:16,318 --> 00:12:17,902
Aw.
283
00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:20,029
I just, uh...
284
00:12:20,030 --> 00:12:22,532
Uh, sorry about that, I just...
285
00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:24,242
I think I'm good with kids
286
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:26,870
and got a couple of houseplants
that have never died, so...
287
00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:30,498
Well, that is sweet.
288
00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:32,501
I appreciate that. Um...
289
00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:36,838
You are...
290
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,506
...pretty high up
on my list of people
291
00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:40,467
that I will be asking
292
00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:44,054
to be a candidate for, uh...
293
00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:46,015
...marriage or...
294
00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:49,643
...you know,
being my baby's dad. Um...
295
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,229
There's a few people before you
on that list.
296
00:12:53,230 --> 00:12:57,025
- Okay. Alright.
- Let me contact those people.
297
00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:58,526
'And if nothing works out'
298
00:12:58,527 --> 00:13:02,363
'then I will consider
what you're saying'
299
00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:05,116
and I will, uh, get back to you.
300
00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:07,911
Oh, sure, I'm willing
to put that in writing, too.
301
00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:09,871
I'll just, you know,
send you an e-mail.
302
00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:11,831
Let me let you know.
I'll let you know.
303
00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:13,208
Okay.
304
00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:14,918
{\an8}You are out
of your *** mind.
305
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:15,919
{\an8}- That is not Leonard Nimoy.
- It is.
306
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,338
- 'It cannot be.'
- 'It is.'
307
00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:19,756
'Stop saying it isn't,
because it is.'
308
00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:21,257
'That is not Leonard Nimoy.'
309
00:13:21,258 --> 00:13:23,510
Why don't we go ask?
Why don't we just go ask?
310
00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:24,928
- Go. You ask.
- I will.
311
00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,679
'You're the one who thinks
he's Leonard Nimoy.'
312
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,848
Oh, hey,
will you keep an eye on five?
313
00:13:28,849 --> 00:13:29,891
Just watch the thing,
and if it runs out of tape
314
00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:31,936
you just got to switch the tape.
315
00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:34,938
Hey.
316
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,064
- Hi.
- Hi.
317
00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,065
- How you doing?
- Doing okay.
318
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:39,609
- You...
- Am I in trouble?
319
00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:41,694
No? You're not Leonard Nimoy,
are you?
320
00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:45,073
- Oh, no.
- Oh, that's what I said!
321
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:47,742
- I lost thirty five dollars.
- Thirty five?
322
00:13:47,743 --> 00:13:49,035
You look so much like
Leonard Nimoy
323
00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:50,328
it's, like, not even funny.
324
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:50,954
Yeah, he thought that you
were the real deal.
325
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:53,081
I swear, I swear, I swear.
326
00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:54,582
I thought you were
just absolutely Leonard Nimoy.
327
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:55,500
Where were you guys?
328
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:59,921
Yeah, we're, uh,
we're doing a stakeout.
329
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:02,882
'Do people tell you
you look like Leonard Nimoy?'
330
00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:04,133
'Yeah, yeah. No, yeah, well,
that's why I'm here in town.'
331
00:14:04,134 --> 00:14:06,094
'I'm doing a,
I'm like a look-alike'
332
00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:08,096
'that does conventions.'
333
00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:10,431
- '"Star Trek" conventions.'
- 'Ah!'
334
00:14:10,432 --> 00:14:12,308
'Okay, you were part right.
You were half right.'
335
00:14:12,309 --> 00:14:14,018
See, I was very...
336
00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:17,438
- No, it ain't him. It ain't--
- It's not Leonard Nimoy.
337
00:14:17,439 --> 00:14:19,065
We got a camera crew
and everything.
338
00:14:19,066 --> 00:14:20,483
- He's waving at us.
- Oh, is it like--
339
00:14:20,484 --> 00:14:22,569
- Hi.
- His name is Stu.
340
00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:25,071
Yeah, stop wavin' at us.
We see you. How you doin'?
341
00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:26,948
What, is that like that "Cops"
or something?
342
00:14:26,949 --> 00:14:27,991
'Yeah, it's like a TV thing.'
343
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:33,121
'Do you think you can get us
into this convention'
344
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:35,957
'that's in town?
Think you can do it?'
345
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:36,624
'Yeah, think I can get...'
346
00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:39,002
Yeah, it's 75 bucks to get in.
347
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:41,629
I think what I could do
for you guys is make sure...
348
00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:43,256
'Well, you know what I'll do
is I'll tell them'
349
00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:44,757
''cause I get one.
I get one comp.'
350
00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:46,009
'Can we say we're with Stu?'
351
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:47,677
'Yeah, say you're with Stu,
that be...'
352
00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:50,680
'I'll get you the comp
some way. We can work that
out.'
353
00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:51,139
'Or I'll leave it at...'
354
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,267
'What is that?'
355
00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:55,643
That sounds like a leaf-blower.
356
00:14:55,644 --> 00:14:56,978
Yeah, somebody's blowing leaves.
357
00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:59,147
You know what, they,
they should have an ordinance.
358
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:01,482
'Well, do you guys have..'
359
00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:03,610
They did an ordinance,
but I still see people
360
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:06,029
'with gas blowers out there.
You know what I mean?'
361
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:07,071
'Oh, I'll get you the comp
some way.'
362
00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:09,824
Seventy five bucks
for two of you, instead of one.
363
00:15:09,825 --> 00:15:10,992
- 'Say, we'll--'
- 'Yeah!'
364
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:13,453
'And then maybe we can get
a beer or somethin', too?'
365
00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:15,997
We can also show you Reno.
Reno can be a very fun town.
366
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,290
I feel like a celebrity
or something.
367
00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:18,541
Yeah, well, you look like one.
368
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:21,336
- That's funny.
- Alright.
369
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:24,422
{\an8}Good morning. I'm, uh...
370
00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:27,467
{\an8}My name's Kevin Donnelly.
I'm moving in next door.
371
00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:28,509
I just thought I'd come by
372
00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:30,178
and, uh... kind of tell you
373
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:32,513
a little bit about myself.
374
00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:34,433
- And?
- I'm a, uh...
375
00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:37,685
Divorced.
376
00:15:37,686 --> 00:15:40,355
Um, I'm looking...
377
00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:41,147
In between jobs right now
378
00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:44,067
somewhat of a foodie,
a gourmand.
379
00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:46,235
- A convicted sex offender.
- 'Right.'
380
00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:48,863
I play, uh...
381
00:15:48,864 --> 00:15:52,700
I-I-I play chess not very well.
382
00:15:52,701 --> 00:15:54,160
No, back up to the--
383
00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:55,536
- The other thing?
- Yeah.
384
00:15:55,537 --> 00:15:57,163
- That's really why we're here.
- I'm a foodie.
385
00:15:57,164 --> 00:15:58,164
- And so I cook a lot--
- 'No, no, no.'
386
00:15:58,165 --> 00:16:01,209
What?
387
00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:03,587
Don't, don't be cute, Kevin.
388
00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:08,007
Uh, I am
a convicted sex offender
389
00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:09,175
whatever that means.
390
00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:10,385
- 'Right.'
- 'And--'
391
00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:12,220
The court has said
that he needs to go around
392
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:15,890
{\an8}and get these signatures
just to know, just so--
393
00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:18,059
It-it-it's total,
it's a formality.
394
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,519
It just says--
395
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,062
It's for your protection, ma'am.
396
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:23,189
In fairness,
it's for both of our protection.
397
00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:25,191
So this sheet of paper
basically says
398
00:16:25,192 --> 00:16:28,570
you stay on your lawn
and I'll stay on mine.
399
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:30,738
'No, that's not what the...'
400
00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:31,781
The piece of paper says
401
00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:34,409
you got a pervert
moving into the neighborhood.
402
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,202
I feel like you're putting,
uh, your spin
403
00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:37,287
on sex offenders.
404
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:47,046
{\an8}I do not know
if Clemmy's gonna be a good mom.
405
00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:48,549
{\an8}I think, uh...
406
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:52,301
I think
Clemmy havin' a little daughter
407
00:16:52,302 --> 00:16:56,556
is like a "Jerry Springer"
episode just waitin' to happen
408
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,433
but I do think that in 18 years
409
00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:00,101
that is gonna be
one hell of a tag team.
410
00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:01,644
One hell of a tag team.
411
00:17:01,645 --> 00:17:04,605
{\an8}- Phew.
- Whoo. Whoo-whoo!
412
00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:06,900
{\an8}- Hope I'm still around.
- Yeah. Whoo.
413
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,236
- Um...
- How you doin'?
414
00:17:11,029 --> 00:17:12,321
Hi, my name's Kevin.
415
00:17:12,322 --> 00:17:15,783
- I'm moving in next door.
- Stop.
416
00:17:15,784 --> 00:17:18,036
I'm a convicted sex offender.
417
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,038
Can you sign this, please?
418
00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:22,708
Here's my thing.
419
00:17:23,625 --> 00:17:25,251
I see the van.
420
00:17:25,252 --> 00:17:27,795
I live right next door,
I don't wanna
421
00:17:27,796 --> 00:17:29,005
have to be looking at your van
422
00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:30,465
parked in the driveway
every time I get up.
423
00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,925
'You have a garage.
You know what I mean?'
424
00:17:32,926 --> 00:17:34,177
The city asked me to come by
425
00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:37,305
'cause they're asking everybody,
all my neighbors to sign this.
426
00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:41,768
And it's-it's standard, you
know, it just says I'm moving in
427
00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:43,311
you know that I'm moving in
428
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:44,145
'cause
I'm a convicted sex offender
429
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,314
and, uh,
you're-you're good with that
430
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:48,816
and so, uh...
431
00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:51,611
And, you know, also,
you can indicate your level of
432
00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:53,864
if you're, uh, psyched or not.
433
00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:56,949
This might be...
434
00:17:56,950 --> 00:17:58,326
You know, feel free
to say no to this question.
435
00:17:58,327 --> 00:18:01,371
- Mm-hmm.
- What...
436
00:18:05,083 --> 00:18:07,001
What time do you get off?
437
00:18:09,838 --> 00:18:12,340
So listen, um,
you know, I brought you here
438
00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:14,259
because I had
something important to ask you.
439
00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:19,764
Um, you know
I'm in kind of a spot right now
440
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:22,433
and, uh,
I, I got myself in a position
441
00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:24,852
where I really need some help
442
00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:28,564
and, um, I'm, uh, really kind
of running out of options here
443
00:18:28,565 --> 00:18:30,358
and I was just wondering
444
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,568
if you had any interest
445
00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:35,196
in maybe, uh, marrying me
446
00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:36,989
and being the father
of my child.
447
00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:38,992
You know, so how about it?
448
00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:42,246
Of course!
449
00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:44,872
Why didn't you ask me first?
450
00:18:44,873 --> 00:18:47,542
- Are you serious?
- Oh, I was hoping you'd ask!
451
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:50,211
Oh, oh, God! Oh...
452
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:51,712
You'd heard
what I asked you, right?
453
00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:53,214
I know.
I was hoping you would ask.
454
00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:55,383
Do you know how happy
this will make my mother?
455
00:19:05,435 --> 00:19:06,352
- 'What's that thing?'
- Highly illogical.
456
00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:11,816
- He is good.
- 'I've never seen the show.'
457
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,025
'I've never seen the show.'
458
00:19:16,029 --> 00:19:17,823
- Hi.
- Hi. Uh...
459
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,910
Guess who's not havin' a baby!
460
00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:25,872
- 'Alright.'
- Oh, my God!
461
00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:28,583
- Very good, very good.
- I am not having a baby.
462
00:19:30,377 --> 00:19:32,378
- Congratulations.
- 'Isn't that great?'
463
00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:35,423
It turns out it was just
an abscess in my lady regions.
464
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:38,509
They drained it today,
everything is cool.
465
00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:40,428
And I'm ready to drink.
466
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:42,555
Hey, Pete,
gin and tonic for Clemmy.
467
00:19:43,932 --> 00:19:46,767
Wow! Thank you so much.
468
00:19:46,768 --> 00:19:48,728
'Thank you. Oh.'
469
00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:51,063
Hey, Dangle, next time.
470
00:19:51,064 --> 00:19:52,106
- Next time.
- Next time.
471
00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:55,067
Here's to Clemmy's giant cyst.
472
00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:56,277
- 'Yes, yes. Thank you.'
- 'Hear, hear.'
473
00:19:57,571 --> 00:19:59,906
When I had a,
I had a chocolate cyst removed
474
00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:01,616
and they don't get it,
they can't get it all.
475
00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:02,992
- 'Okay.'
- So you still...
476
00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:05,077
And plus the gas that they have
to shoot into your belly
477
00:20:05,078 --> 00:20:06,829
makes your belly distended
for a while.
478
00:20:06,830 --> 00:20:08,623
You're gonna be having some gas
for a little while.
479
00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:10,583
- 'Let's get that.'
- 'Listen, chocolate--'
480
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:13,294
Stu, I should explain.
Wiegel's *** crazy.
481
00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:14,503
- 'Yeah.'
- Oh.
482
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:20,552
{\an8}Get your weed, boy.
483
00:20:23,221 --> 00:20:24,972
- Two, three. Go, go, go, go!
- Three.
484
00:20:24,973 --> 00:20:28,351
- Go!
- Early lead! No! Yes!
485
00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:30,228
- Whoo!
- 'Ooh!'
486
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,107
{\an8}Whoo! Ha-ha-ha.
487
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:35,650
Sorry, mom.
488
00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:38,319
I love you, mommy. I love you.
489
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:42,365
That's a game we used to play
when I was little.
490
00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:46,494
{\an8}Watch this. Watch this.
491
00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:48,996
{\an8}Find the sloppy joe,
find the sloppy joe.
492
00:20:48,997 --> 00:20:50,957
{\an8}'Yeah. Yeah.'
493
00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:52,459
{\an8}Good dog. Good dog.
494
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:55,503
Wasn't hidden too hard, but, uh,
he found it, though, right?
495
00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:58,130
Hey, good dog.
496
00:20:58,131 --> 00:20:59,507
Mm.
497
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,979
{\an8}Can you check my scoliosis?
498
00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:15,189
{\an8}- Oh.
- Oh. Oh, my God. No.
499
00:21:15,190 --> 00:21:17,358
{\an8}This shoulder's lower
than this shoulder, right?
500
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:20,444
{\an8}Yeah, I can see that. Yes,
it is a little bit misaligned.
501
00:21:20,445 --> 00:21:21,696
{\an8}- 'Oh.'
- 'Oh, come on.'
502
00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:24,699
{\an8}Oh, let's not,
let's not see your scoliosis.
503
00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:26,200
{\an8}'If you could come to my
office'
504
00:21:26,201 --> 00:21:28,327
{\an8}'in about, uh,
an hour and a half'
505
00:21:28,328 --> 00:21:30,413
{\an8}I'd be glad to give you
a full workup.
506
00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:32,623
{\an8}Thank you,
I just had one two days ago
507
00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:35,042
{\an8}but you know, you always
got to be on top of it.
508
00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:37,044
{\an8}Did-Did your test...
509
00:21:37,045 --> 00:21:39,172
{\an8}Can it show if an adult woman
is retarded?
38721
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