All language subtitles for Reno.911.S01E01.How.We.Do.It.in.Reno.1080p.PMTP.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:17,483 ALL UNITS IN THE VICINITY, 1433 MURRAY DRIVE. 2 00:00:17,484 --> 00:00:20,486 WE HAVE AN OFFICER DOWN, SHOTS FIRED, SHOTS FIRED. 3 00:00:20,487 --> 00:00:23,689 ALL UNITS IN THE VICINITY, PLEASE REPORT, 4 00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,190 1433 MURRAY DRIVE. 5 00:00:34,567 --> 00:00:36,068 SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT! 6 00:00:36,069 --> 00:00:37,203 HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! 7 00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:44,377 SURPRISE. SURPRISE. 8 00:00:48,314 --> 00:00:52,117 WE GOT AN OFFICER DOWN, 1433 MURRAY DRIVE. 9 00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:54,219 WE GOT AN OFFICER DOWN. 10 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:56,289 HEY! HEY! 11 00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:02,595 {\an8}OH-HO! OHH-H-H! 12 00:01:08,034 --> 00:01:10,270 {\an8}AAH! AAH! AAH! 13 00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:37,262 OKAY, HEADS UP, HEADS UP. MORNING MEETING. 14 00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:40,299 {\an8}OH, WE GOT A CALL FROM THE WAL-MART. 15 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:42,367 {\an8}THE, UH, MEXICAN GENTLEMAN 16 00:01:42,368 --> 00:01:46,472 {\an8}WHO LIKES TO TOUCH AND HUG THEIR MANNEQUINS IS BACK. 17 00:01:46,473 --> 00:01:49,241 UH, GARCIA, I WAS HOPING YOU COULD DO A DRIVE-BY. 18 00:01:49,242 --> 00:01:50,542 NO PROBLEMO. 19 00:01:50,543 --> 00:01:52,010 MUCHAS GRACIAS. 20 00:01:52,011 --> 00:01:54,179 WHO PUT UP THE STICKER IN THE LOCKER ROOM 21 00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:56,014 THAT SAYS "LEGALIZE IT"? 22 00:01:56,015 --> 00:01:59,384 IT'S GOT THE LEAF, THE MARIJUANA LEAF, AND IT SAYS "LEGALIZE IT." 23 00:01:59,385 --> 00:02:01,620 I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE LOOKING AT ME. 24 00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:03,956 I'M NOT LOOKING AT YOU. I'M LOOKING HERE. 25 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,325 I'M THINKING AT YOU. I'M LOOKING AT HERE. 26 00:02:06,326 --> 00:02:08,961 I LOVE RENO. I'VE GOT ROOTS HERE. 27 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:12,531 I'M VERY POPULAR HERE FROM ALL MY, UH, DEALINGS. 28 00:02:12,532 --> 00:02:14,433 I'VE DONE A LOT OF R.V. SHOWS. 29 00:02:14,434 --> 00:02:17,169 ALL THE CAMPER SHOWS, THEY ALWAYS CALL ME. 30 00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:21,139 AS IT TURNS OUT, I AM ONE OF THE BETTER-LOOKING WOMEN HERE, 31 00:02:21,140 --> 00:02:23,909 SO MY DANCE CARD IS FULL ALL THE TIME. 32 00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:26,845 MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT BEING A COP 33 00:02:26,846 --> 00:02:29,147 IS THAT I GET TO SLAP MEN AROUND. 34 00:02:29,148 --> 00:02:30,916 HA! I LOVE IT. 35 00:02:30,917 --> 00:02:32,518 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? 36 00:02:32,519 --> 00:02:35,287 YOU JUST GRAB 'EM UP IN THE COLLAR AND... 37 00:02:35,288 --> 00:02:37,022 "STOP IN THE NAME OF THE LAW!" 38 00:02:37,023 --> 00:02:39,124 "HEY, YOU! COME HERE IN THE NAME OF THE LAW!" 39 00:02:39,125 --> 00:02:40,993 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? 40 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:44,162 I LOVE SOMEONE THAT HAS TO SAY, "YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?" 41 00:02:44,163 --> 00:02:46,031 AFTER EVERYTHING SHE SAYS. 42 00:02:46,032 --> 00:02:49,368 'CAUSE QUITE HONESTLY, NO, I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S SAYING, 43 00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:51,069 NOR DO I CARE. 44 00:02:51,070 --> 00:02:54,172 THERE IS SOME RACIAL TENSION ON THE SQUAD, 45 00:02:54,173 --> 00:02:56,708 AND, I MEAN, I THINK IT'S NORMAL. 46 00:02:56,709 --> 00:03:00,212 BUT I THINK, UNFORTUNATELY, IT ALL STEMS FROM ONE GUY, 47 00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:02,047 FROM OFFICER GARCIA. 48 00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:04,116 AND I MEAN, THE POOR GUY CAN'T HELP IT. 49 00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:05,617 HE'S MEXICAN. 50 00:03:05,618 --> 00:03:08,086 UH, I WOULD SAY IN THE CONTEXT OF A JOKE, IT'S OKAY. 51 00:03:08,087 --> 00:03:09,855 I MEAN, I WATCH THE B.E.T. 52 00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:11,924 THEY TOSS IT AROUND LIKE-- 53 00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:14,826 SO YOU'RE SAYING THAT IN THE CONTEXT OF A JOKE, 54 00:03:14,827 --> 00:03:16,895 IT IS OKAY TO USE THE "N" WORD. 55 00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:19,464 YEAH, TO LOOSEN SOMEBODY UP, YOU KNOW. 56 00:03:19,465 --> 00:03:22,768 YOU WANT ME TO CHECK-- CHECK OUR TOLERANCE POLICY. 57 00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:25,070 THE ANSWER IS NO, IT IS NOT OKAY. 58 00:03:25,071 --> 00:03:27,839 IF I COULD-- I DON'T USE IT, 59 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:30,943 BUT IF I WANTED TO, LIKE, COULD I? 60 00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:32,611 I THINK I SHOULD. 61 00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:38,050 WHAT IF SOMEONE SAYS WHICH TOOK THE LAST DOUGHNUT? 62 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,819 THAT'S WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE. 63 00:03:40,820 --> 00:03:45,725 I TAKE MEDICATION-- DOCTOR-PRESCRIBED. 64 00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:51,096 DOCTOR-PRESCRIBED MEDICATION FOR SEVERAL-- 65 00:03:51,097 --> 00:03:53,298 I HAVE AN AUDITORY DISORDER, 66 00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:56,201 WHICH MAKES ME A LITTLE BIT NERVOUS 67 00:03:56,202 --> 00:03:58,203 AROUND PEOPLE AND LIGHTS. 68 00:03:58,204 --> 00:04:00,272 {\an8}WE GOT A DISTURBING-THE-PEACE CALL 69 00:04:00,273 --> 00:04:02,374 {\an8}IN FRONT OF A HAIR-CUTTING PLACE. 70 00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:04,776 {\an8}MALE CAUCASIAN, POSSIBLE STREET PERFORMER. 71 00:04:04,777 --> 00:04:06,845 {\an8}BEEN ACCOSTING CUSTOMERS ALL WEEK. 72 00:04:06,846 --> 00:04:09,448 WE GOT FOUR CALLS-- BEEN DISTURBING THE PEACE. 73 00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:11,617 SO WE'RE GONNA SEE WHAT WE GOT HERE. 74 00:04:11,618 --> 00:04:13,385 OH, THANK YOU, SIR. 75 00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:14,886 THIS SHOULD BE GOOD. 76 00:04:14,887 --> 00:04:16,588 HOW YOU DOING TODAY, SIR? 77 00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:19,691 GOOD. I'M GONNA NEED TO SEE SOME SORT OF A LICENSE-- 78 00:04:19,692 --> 00:04:21,460 A STREET PERFORMER'S LICENSE. 79 00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:24,163 GOOD. YOU SPEAK ENGLISH, RIGHT? 80 00:04:27,533 --> 00:04:29,735 YOU HAVE A-- A REAL LICENSE, SIR? 81 00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:31,136 THAT'S PRETTY GOOD. 82 00:04:31,137 --> 00:04:33,372 I DON'T NEED TO SEE A FAKE ANYTHING. 83 00:04:33,373 --> 00:04:36,375 I NEED TO SEE A REAL STREET PERFORMER'S LICENSE. 84 00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:37,809 IT'S GETTING BIGGER. 85 00:04:37,810 --> 00:04:39,678 YEAH, I CAN SEE THAT, JONES. 86 00:04:39,679 --> 00:04:42,314 OKAY, SIR, UH, CAN YOU SHOW ME, UH-- 87 00:04:42,315 --> 00:04:44,583 HEAVY? YEAH? 88 00:04:44,584 --> 00:04:47,285 I NEED TO SEE A LICENSE, SIR. 89 00:04:47,286 --> 00:04:48,654 NO, I DON'T-- 90 00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:49,655 WHOA! 91 00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:51,189 HEY! WHOA! 92 00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:52,858 SIR, PLEASE DON'T DO THAT. 93 00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:54,059 JONES! 94 00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:55,560 PRETTY FUNNY. 95 00:04:55,561 --> 00:04:58,497 JONES, CAN I ASK YOU NOT TO ENCOURAGE THIS GENTLEMAN? 96 00:04:58,498 --> 00:05:00,866 I'M TRYING TO ASCERTAIN SOME INFORMATION. 97 00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:02,601 BUT HE'S JUST TRYING-- 98 00:05:02,602 --> 00:05:03,802 OKAY. 99 00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:05,404 HE'S DOING YOU. 100 00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:07,706 EXCUSE ME, SIR. ARE YOU DOING ME? 101 00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:09,408 SIR, I AM MY WIT'S END HERE. 102 00:05:09,409 --> 00:05:11,043 YOU'RE MAKING FUN OF ME? 103 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,045 PLEASE DO NOT DO THAT TO ME, SIR. 104 00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:14,913 OH! 105 00:05:14,914 --> 00:05:16,415 HEY, OFFICER! OFFICER! 106 00:05:16,416 --> 00:05:18,817 OH, YEAH. GO TO SLEEP, LITTLE MIME. 107 00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:20,852 YOU'RE SPEAKING ENGLISH NOW. 108 00:05:20,853 --> 00:05:23,121 I FEEL LIKE I BRING A REAL JOIE DE VIVRE 109 00:05:23,122 --> 00:05:24,956 TO LAW ENFORCEMENT. 110 00:05:24,957 --> 00:05:26,692 FOR EXAMPLE, MY UNIFORM-- 111 00:05:26,693 --> 00:05:29,294 I DO NOT WEAR THE REGULATION UNIFORM. 112 00:05:29,295 --> 00:05:31,196 I WEAR THESE, UH, SHORTS HERE. 113 00:05:31,197 --> 00:05:34,566 AND ACTUALLY, I HAD TO LOBBY THE SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT 114 00:05:34,567 --> 00:05:36,568 TO GET PERMISSION TO WEAR THESE. 115 00:05:36,569 --> 00:05:39,304 BUT MY ARGUMENT WAS I'M OUT THERE IN THE STREETS EVERY DAY. 116 00:05:39,305 --> 00:05:41,273 I GOTTA BE ABLE TO MOVE LIKE A CHEETAH, 117 00:05:41,274 --> 00:05:44,677 LIKE A LAW-ENFORCEMENT CHEETAH. 118 00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:50,982 {\an8}CAN I SEE YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE, PLEASE? 119 00:05:50,983 --> 00:05:53,219 YOU MIND STEPPING OUT OF THE VEHICLE? 120 00:05:55,788 --> 00:05:57,156 YES, SIR. 121 00:06:02,328 --> 00:06:04,062 IS THERE A PROBLEM, OFFICER? 122 00:06:04,063 --> 00:06:06,531 WELL, YEAH, THERE'S A LITTLE BIT OF A PROBLEM. 123 00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:08,967 THIS HERE SAYS YOU WEIGH 158 POUNDS. 124 00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:10,702 OH. UH, NO, NO. 125 00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:14,740 THAT WAS ABOUT, UH-- THAT WAS ABOUT, UH, 3 YEARS AGO. 126 00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:18,710 I'M DOWN TO, LIKE, 130, MAYBE 135 TODAY. 127 00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:22,647 I HAVEN'T BEEN RUNNING IN, LIKE, A WEEK. 128 00:06:22,648 --> 00:06:27,819 I MEAN, JEEZ, YOU'RE LIKE A-- YOU'RE LIKE A SCULPTURE. 129 00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:30,255 UH, YEAH, THANKS. I'M A PERSONAL TRAINER. 130 00:06:30,256 --> 00:06:31,757 REALLY? WOW. 131 00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:33,258 I DO IT FOR A LIVING. 132 00:06:33,259 --> 00:06:35,293 NO WONDER, 'CAUSE YOU'RE LIKE... 133 00:06:35,294 --> 00:06:37,829 I DON'T DO GRANDMA PUSH-UPS, BUT THEY'RE NOT THAT GOOD EITHER. 134 00:06:37,830 --> 00:06:39,664 WELL, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU GOT. 135 00:06:39,665 --> 00:06:40,866 HERE'S ONE. 136 00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:42,734 SEE, NOW, THAT'S A GREAT PUSH-UP, 137 00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:45,036 BUT LET ME SHOW YOU FOUR THINGS YOU'RE DOING WRONG. 138 00:06:45,037 --> 00:06:47,239 NOW, SEE, THIS IS-- YOUR ASS IS TOO HIGH. 139 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,306 OW! YEAH. 140 00:06:48,307 --> 00:06:49,374 OH. YEAH. 141 00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:50,542 FEEL THAT? 142 00:06:50,543 --> 00:06:52,377 I DO. OFFICER DOWN. 143 00:06:52,378 --> 00:06:54,412 NOW, DID YOU EVER HOLD A GUN BEFORE? 144 00:06:54,413 --> 00:06:56,414 YOU CAN HOLD IT FOR ONE SECOND IF YOU WANT. 145 00:06:56,415 --> 00:06:58,016 I'M ALLOWED TO DO THIS? 146 00:06:58,017 --> 00:06:59,518 WELL, NOT REALLY, NO, 147 00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:01,586 BUT, I MEAN, YOU KNOW, FOR A SECOND YOU CAN. 148 00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:03,388 WHOA! THAT'S REALLY HEAVY. 149 00:07:03,389 --> 00:07:06,691 SO, UH, YOU GONNA LET ME-- SHOULD I PAY THIS TICKET? 150 00:07:06,692 --> 00:07:09,561 NO. WHAT WERE YOU DOING, ABOUT A BUCK FIVE? 151 00:07:09,562 --> 00:07:11,696 SO I GUESS, UH, YOU SHOULD GO. 152 00:07:11,697 --> 00:07:13,298 I SHOULD PROBABLY, UH... 153 00:07:13,299 --> 00:07:15,433 I MEAN, YOU'RE ON DUTY. 154 00:07:15,434 --> 00:07:17,969 AND I GOT MY KEYS AND STUFF. 155 00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:20,973 I SHOULD REALLY GO AND, UH... 156 00:07:26,546 --> 00:07:28,713 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! 157 00:07:28,714 --> 00:07:30,215 HEY, HEY, HEY! 158 00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:31,883 ALL RIGHT, THEN. 159 00:07:31,884 --> 00:07:33,619 WHOA, OKAY, OKAY. 160 00:07:41,561 --> 00:07:44,229 THE WOMEN ON THE FORCE GOT TO GET ALONG. 161 00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:46,064 I MEAN, WE ARE THE MINORITY, 162 00:07:46,065 --> 00:07:48,500 SO, YOU KNOW, WE GOT TO STICK TOGETHER-- 163 00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:51,002 SISTERHOOD, GIRL POWER, ALL THAT JAZZ. 164 00:07:51,003 --> 00:07:55,640 RANESHA WILLIAMS IS A LOUDMOUTH... 165 00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:58,844 BACKSTABBING... 166 00:07:58,845 --> 00:08:00,812 JEW. I WANT TO SAY JEW. 167 00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:03,248 I THINK SHE'S VERY, IN FACT, OPENLY CATHOLIC, 168 00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:05,383 WHICH I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH, TOO. 169 00:08:05,384 --> 00:08:08,753 YOU KNOW, I HAD A SAYING BEFORE I CAME TO WORK HERE, 170 00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:11,590 AND THAT WAS THAT FEMINISM IS BULL 171 00:08:11,591 --> 00:08:13,892 BUT, UM, I FEEL, REALLY, SISTERHOOD 172 00:08:13,893 --> 00:08:16,328 WITH THESE SPECIAL, SPECIAL LADIES. 173 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:20,966 OFFICER JOHNSON...IS A WHORE. 174 00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:22,667 I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY. 175 00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:24,703 {\an8}IT'S JUST, UH, THAT, UH-- 176 00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:27,739 {\an8}JUST TOOK ME BY SURPRISE TO SEE THEM. 177 00:08:27,740 --> 00:08:29,507 {\an8}I CAN'T. 178 00:08:29,508 --> 00:08:32,644 I KNOW IT'S HARD. I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN TRAUMATIZED. 179 00:08:32,645 --> 00:08:35,280 I KNOW IT'S BEEN A ROUGH COUPLE OF DAYS. 180 00:08:35,281 --> 00:08:36,748 IT WAS, UH, FRIGHTENING. 181 00:08:36,749 --> 00:08:38,984 I UNDERSTAND. I UNDERSTAND. 182 00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:42,554 UM, TODAY'S THE DAY WE'RE GONNA CATCH THE MONSTER 183 00:08:42,555 --> 00:08:44,322 THAT DID THIS TO YOU, 184 00:08:44,323 --> 00:08:46,591 AND WE'RE GONNA PUT HIM BEHIND BARS, ALL RIGHT? 185 00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:48,560 SO I NEED YOUR FULL COOPERATION. 186 00:08:48,561 --> 00:08:50,161 BUT THEY CAN'T SEE ME? 187 00:08:50,162 --> 00:08:51,630 NO, THEY CAN'T. 188 00:08:51,631 --> 00:08:53,832 THEY CANNOT SEE YOU. YOU CAN SEE THEM, ALL RIGHT? 189 00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:56,434 REST ASSURED, YOU WILL NOT BE IDENTIFIED. 190 00:08:56,435 --> 00:08:58,403 OKAY. SO YOU'RE WITH US? 191 00:08:58,404 --> 00:08:59,571 OH, GOD. 192 00:08:59,572 --> 00:09:01,072 OKAY. IT'S ALL RIGHT. 193 00:09:01,073 --> 00:09:02,540 OH, GOD. 194 00:09:02,541 --> 00:09:04,042 YOU READY TO DO THIS? 195 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:05,610 OKAY. 196 00:09:05,611 --> 00:09:08,313 NUMBER 3, CAN YOU PLEASE STEP FORWARD? 197 00:09:08,314 --> 00:09:09,948 READ FROM THE CARD. 198 00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:12,517 GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME, YOU . 199 00:09:12,518 --> 00:09:14,386 THAT WAS VERY NICE. 200 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:17,390 CAN ALL THE SUSPECTS PLEASE GIVE ME A PROFILE? 201 00:09:19,926 --> 00:09:21,393 CAN THEY BOUNCE? 202 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:24,129 THERE WAS A LOT OF MOVEMENT WHEN IT WAS HAPPENING. 203 00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:25,997 IF THEY COULD JUST BOUNCE. 204 00:09:25,998 --> 00:09:28,500 CAN ALL THE SUSPECTS JUMP UP IN THE AIR ONE TIME? 205 00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:30,602 THAT'S IT. 206 00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:32,237 OH, JESUS. 207 00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:34,039 THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GONNA GET. 208 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,274 IN GOOD CONSCIENCE, I CAN'T HAVE THEM DO THAT AGAIN. 209 00:09:36,275 --> 00:09:39,945 CAN ALL THE SUSPECTS PLEASE TURN AROUND, FACE THE WALL, 210 00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:42,714 AND HOLD UNTIL I TELL YOU OTHERWISE? 211 00:09:42,715 --> 00:09:44,349 UM... 212 00:09:44,350 --> 00:09:46,084 HANDS UP AGAINST THE WALL. 213 00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:48,621 CAN EVERYONE PLEASE PUT YOUR HANDS UP AGAINST THE WALL? 214 00:09:50,623 --> 00:09:52,390 OH, GOD. OH, GOD. 215 00:09:52,391 --> 00:09:55,360 OKAY. THANK YOU. YOU CAN ALL TURN AROUND NOW. 216 00:09:55,361 --> 00:09:57,029 THANKS SO MUCH. 217 00:10:00,032 --> 00:10:01,299 UM... 218 00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:05,370 CAN YOU-- CAN YOU BRING IN FOUR MORE? 219 00:10:05,371 --> 00:10:07,005 OH, THERE SHE IS. 220 00:10:07,006 --> 00:10:09,541 WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS TODAY? GOT ANY IDEAS? 221 00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:10,909 NOPE. DO YOU? 222 00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:12,277 OH, HELL, NO. 223 00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:13,979 HERE WE GO. ALL RIGHT. 224 00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:15,313 SHE'S CRYING. 225 00:10:15,314 --> 00:10:16,448 AAAAAAAHHHH! 226 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:19,684 HEY, T.T. HOW ARE YOU, T.T.? 227 00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:21,820 WHAT'S GOING ON? CALM DOWN, NOW. 228 00:10:21,821 --> 00:10:23,421 WHY ARE YOU SO UPSET? 229 00:10:23,422 --> 00:10:24,789 IT WAS TWO OF 'EM. 230 00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:26,791 TWO WHAT? TWO WHAT, T.T.? 231 00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,059 THEY WAS MIDGETS. 232 00:10:28,060 --> 00:10:29,794 I WASN'T SCARED, THOUGH. 233 00:10:29,795 --> 00:10:31,429 I WAS LIKE, RIGHT HERE. 234 00:10:31,430 --> 00:10:33,198 OOH! 235 00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:35,000 OKAY. 236 00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:36,935 OKAY, WELL, WHY-- HEY. 237 00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:40,438 WHY WERE YOU IN CONFLICT WITH THE MIDGETS, T.T.? 238 00:10:40,439 --> 00:10:42,107 JUST LEAVE 'EM ALONE. 239 00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:45,076 I AIN'T GOT TO TAKE THAT. I AIN'T GOT TO TAKE THAT. 240 00:10:45,077 --> 00:10:46,778 HOW YOU DOING? 241 00:10:46,779 --> 00:10:49,381 I'M DOING ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU. 242 00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:51,049 GOOD TO SEE YOU. 243 00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:53,451 GOOD TO SEE YOU, TOO, SWEETHEART. 244 00:10:53,452 --> 00:10:55,453 HEY! WE GOT A STICK DOWN. 245 00:10:55,454 --> 00:10:56,888 T.T.'S GOT MY STICK! 246 00:10:56,889 --> 00:10:58,757 T.T., YOU JUST STOLE MY STICK! 247 00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:00,959 GIVE THAT STICK BACK. 248 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:02,460 OKAY. 249 00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:04,662 MAY I PLEASE HAVE MY STICK BACK? 250 00:11:04,663 --> 00:11:06,731 DON'T POSE FOR PICTURES. 251 00:11:06,732 --> 00:11:08,433 COME ON, NOW, GIRL. 252 00:11:08,434 --> 00:11:10,001 OH, HERE WE GO! 253 00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:11,102 NO. 254 00:11:11,103 --> 00:11:12,704 I GOT YOU, SWEETHEART. 255 00:11:12,705 --> 00:11:15,040 NO, LET HER GO. 256 00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:17,709 NO! NO! 257 00:11:17,710 --> 00:11:22,714 THEY SAY THAT, UH, WE ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO DATE ON THE FORCE. 258 00:11:22,715 --> 00:11:24,749 WELL, I JUST THINK THAT'S A STUPID RULE, 259 00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:26,951 AND I THINK RULES WERE MADE TO BE BROKEN, 260 00:11:26,952 --> 00:11:29,421 AND I THINK EVERYONE SHOULD BE AS FREE WITH THEIR SEXUALITY 261 00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:31,189 AND AS OPEN AS THEY WANT TO BE 262 00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:33,358 WITH AS MANY PEOPLE AS THEY POSSIBLY CAN. 263 00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:37,195 BECAUSE YOU ONLY GO AROUND ONCE IN THIS WORLD, ALL RIGHT. 264 00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:41,533 AS LONG AS YOU TAKE A SHOWER, I DON'T SEE WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS. 265 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:45,070 CLEMMY, CLEMMY, CLEMMY-- NOW, THAT IS ONE WOMAN. 266 00:11:45,071 --> 00:11:47,072 SHE-- SHE'S BEAUTIFUL. 267 00:11:47,073 --> 00:11:50,942 SHE'S GOT A GREAT HEART, GREAT SOUL, UH, BEAUTIFUL HAIR. 268 00:11:50,943 --> 00:11:53,745 HER HAIR'S LIKE DANDELION, YOU KNOW? 269 00:11:53,746 --> 00:11:58,383 IT FEELS LIKE IF YOU BLEW ON IT, LIKE, A LOT OF IT WOULD GO AWAY. 270 00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,919 OFFICER JONES. 271 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:03,488 WE HAD A THING GOING ON. 272 00:12:03,489 --> 00:12:05,323 WE WAS TOGETHER. 273 00:12:05,324 --> 00:12:08,560 AND I THINK US BREAKING UP WAS HARD ON HIM, YOU KNOW. 274 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,528 HE TOOK THAT KIND OF HARD, 275 00:12:10,529 --> 00:12:13,631 AND, UH, I THINK IT KIND OF BROKE HIS HEART A LITTLE BIT. 276 00:12:13,632 --> 00:12:15,367 HI. 277 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:22,640 I WAS JUST, UH... 278 00:12:22,641 --> 00:12:25,376 LOOKING FOR OFFICER JONES. 279 00:12:25,377 --> 00:12:29,148 IT'S KIND OF...HIS STOMPING GROUND. 280 00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:33,886 YOU SEEN HIM-- BIG, GOOD-LOOKING BLACK GUY? 281 00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:43,528 LIEUTENANT. HEY. 282 00:12:43,529 --> 00:12:46,865 HEY. 283 00:12:46,866 --> 00:12:48,434 UH... 284 00:12:51,303 --> 00:12:52,637 JUST CHECKING... 285 00:12:52,638 --> 00:12:53,805 DOUGHNUT? 286 00:12:53,806 --> 00:12:55,207 ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU. 287 00:12:57,743 --> 00:13:01,647 OH ME. 288 00:13:04,216 --> 00:13:06,151 DID YOU SEE SOMEBODY WITH A BICYCLE? 289 00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:07,785 A GUY WITH A BIKE? 290 00:13:07,786 --> 00:13:10,054 ANYBODY WITH A BIKE THAT SAYS "POLICE" ON IT? 291 00:13:10,055 --> 00:13:12,357 OH, SON OF A BITCH. SON OF A BITCH. 292 00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:14,893 SIR, DID YOU SEE SOMEONE WITH A BICYCLE 293 00:13:14,894 --> 00:13:16,628 THAT SAYS "POLICE" ON IT? 294 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:17,762 NO? 295 00:13:17,763 --> 00:13:21,533 OH ME. 296 00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:24,402 STOP! 297 00:13:24,403 --> 00:13:25,871 OH ME. 298 00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:30,208 CHRIST. 299 00:13:30,209 --> 00:13:32,110 WOW, SHE'S REALLY RED IN THE FACE. 300 00:13:32,111 --> 00:13:34,479 HOLD ON, HOLD ON! HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY! 301 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,614 DON'T HIT THE CAR. WHAT HAVE YOU GOT? 302 00:13:36,615 --> 00:13:38,550 I GOT ME A PERVERT OVER THERE! 303 00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:40,351 WHERE IS HE, MA'AM? 304 00:13:40,352 --> 00:13:42,320 COME ON, I WAITED 20 MINUTES. 305 00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:45,089 HE'S OVER-- HE IS AROUND THE SIDE OF MY HOUSE! 306 00:13:45,090 --> 00:13:46,958 YOU WANT ME TO GET HIM MYSELF! 307 00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:49,360 GO BACK INSIDE, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON, AND STAY RIGHT THERE. 308 00:13:49,361 --> 00:13:51,896 MY TAXES PAY YOUR DOUGHNUTS! GET HIM, 309 00:13:51,897 --> 00:13:55,833 SIR? PUT YOUR HANDS UP, SIR. 310 00:13:55,834 --> 00:13:57,402 HOW Y'ALL BOYS DOIN'? 311 00:13:57,403 --> 00:13:58,803 PUT YOUR HANDS UP. 312 00:13:58,804 --> 00:14:00,338 OH, GOD. 313 00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:05,176 LIEUTENANT DANGLE AND I HAVE A VERY SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP. 314 00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:08,746 IT'S LIKE WE'RE BROTHER AND SISTER... 315 00:14:08,747 --> 00:14:12,817 BUT LIKE A BROTHER AND SISTER WHO HAVE SEX. 316 00:14:12,818 --> 00:14:14,219 UH, WEIGEL? 317 00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:16,287 NOT EVEN A TWO-BAGGER OR THREE-BAGGER. 318 00:14:16,288 --> 00:14:18,990 BAG FOR HER FACE, BAG FOR YOUR FACE, A BAG FOR ANYBODY-- 319 00:14:18,991 --> 00:14:21,459 GOD FORBID THAT THEY BE PEEKING IN THE WINDOW. 320 00:14:21,460 --> 00:14:23,895 SHE'S NOT-- NOW, THAT'S NOT VERY NICE TO SAY. 321 00:14:23,896 --> 00:14:25,830 SHE'S AN UNFORTUNATE-LOOKING WOMAN. 322 00:14:25,831 --> 00:14:28,166 ALL RIGHT, IT IS 0800 HOURS. 323 00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:30,468 WE ARE RIDING IN THE ROLLER. 324 00:14:30,469 --> 00:14:33,304 AND BUCKLE YOUR SAFETY BELT, PEOPLE, 325 00:14:33,305 --> 00:14:35,740 BECAUSE YOU ARE RIDING SHOTGUN 326 00:14:35,741 --> 00:14:38,476 WITH THE RENO SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT. 327 00:14:38,477 --> 00:14:41,212 OF COURSE, YOU'RE NOT LITERALLY RIDING SHOTGUN. 328 00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:43,248 TRUDY WEIGEL'S RIDING SHOTGUN. 329 00:14:43,249 --> 00:14:46,851 BUT, UH, IN NO TIME AT ALL, THIS AREA IS A HOTBED OF CRIME. 330 00:14:46,852 --> 00:14:49,654 WE GET MURDERS OUT HERE, WE GET RAPISTS, 331 00:14:49,655 --> 00:14:52,290 WE GET CRACK, METHAMPHETAMINES. 332 00:14:52,291 --> 00:14:55,860 DISMEMBERMENTS. 333 00:14:55,861 --> 00:15:02,066 HAVE YOU EVER HEARD-- THERE'S A, UH... 334 00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:06,504 THERE'S A WAY THAT WOMEN CAN BE INSEMINATED ARTIFICIALLY. 335 00:15:06,505 --> 00:15:11,276 LIKE, SHE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TO HAVE SEX WITH THE OTHER PERSON, 336 00:15:11,277 --> 00:15:14,012 BUT SHE CAN JUST BE INSEMINATED. 337 00:15:14,013 --> 00:15:16,981 IT'S NOT A TEST-TUBE BABY. IT'S LIKE A REAL BABY. 338 00:15:16,982 --> 00:15:19,484 A GUY-- SAY SHE WANTS TO GET PREGNANT, 339 00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:22,655 AND HE HAS, LIKE, THE GENES. 340 00:15:24,923 --> 00:15:27,526 I WAS JUST WONDERING IF YOU EVER HEARD OF THAT. 341 00:15:33,966 --> 00:15:35,933 THEY TRAIN THE DAMN DOGS IN GERMAN, 342 00:15:35,934 --> 00:15:37,735 {\an8}BUT, UH, I DON'T SPEAK GERMAN, 343 00:15:37,736 --> 00:15:39,871 {\an8}SO HE DON'T DO NOTHING THAT I TELL HIM TO DO. 344 00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:41,873 {\an8}FASS! 345 00:15:41,874 --> 00:15:43,241 NOTHING. 346 00:15:43,242 --> 00:15:45,410 THAT'S SUPPOSED TO MAKE HIM ATTACK. 347 00:15:45,411 --> 00:15:47,011 YOU GOT, UH... 348 00:15:47,012 --> 00:15:49,480 OW! [ BLEEP] IT! 349 00:15:49,481 --> 00:15:51,649 OKAY, OKAY, OKAY! OKAY, OKAY. 350 00:15:51,650 --> 00:15:53,284 UH, YOU GOT-- AAH! 351 00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:55,386 OKAY, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY. 352 00:15:55,387 --> 00:15:57,055 YOU GOT, UH, PARDON. 353 00:15:57,056 --> 00:15:58,589 NO, THAT'S FRENCH. 354 00:15:58,590 --> 00:16:00,358 YOU GOT, UH, PROTESTA. 355 00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:06,197 CAN I GET A LITTLE HELP OUT HERE? 356 00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:10,134 YOU KNOW... 357 00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:15,373 I COLLECT BABY CLOTHES THAT I BUY ON SALE, 358 00:16:15,374 --> 00:16:17,276 JUST IN CASE. 359 00:16:25,050 --> 00:16:27,919 YOU COLLECT BABY CLOTHES? 360 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:30,154 YEAH. 361 00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:32,390 OH, GOD! 362 00:16:32,391 --> 00:16:33,491 OH, MAN. 363 00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:35,927 OH, GOD, I HIT THAT GUY. 364 00:16:35,928 --> 00:16:37,028 OH, MAN. 365 00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:39,297 OH, GREAT. ONLY CRIME ALL DAY. 366 00:16:39,298 --> 00:16:40,732 SIR, I AM SO SORRY. 367 00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:42,567 I WAS LOOKING AT MY, UH-- 368 00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:44,369 SIR? SIR, I'M SORRY! 369 00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:45,970 SIR, I'M SORRY! 370 00:16:45,971 --> 00:16:49,674 SIR, WE GOT TO EXCHANGE INFORMAT-- 371 00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:51,442 OH, MAN. 372 00:16:51,443 --> 00:16:54,512 WHY IS HE RUNNING? THAT WAS TOTALLY MY FAULT. 373 00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:57,116 THAT WAS JUST 100% MY... 374 00:16:59,551 --> 00:17:02,053 OH, MY GOD. 375 00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:05,823 THAT'S MARIJUANA. 376 00:17:07,226 --> 00:17:09,427 GOOD STUFF, TOO! OH, MAN! 377 00:17:09,428 --> 00:17:11,095 OH, MY GOD! 378 00:17:12,664 --> 00:17:13,865 ALL RIGHT! 379 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,867 YEAH, THAT'S HOW WE DO IT IN RENO! 380 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,336 WHOO-HOO-HOO-HOO! 381 00:17:21,940 --> 00:17:25,576 WE GOT A CALL ON JACKIE AND THE GIRLS AGAIN. 382 00:17:25,577 --> 00:17:27,378 SHINE A LIGHT ON 'EM. 383 00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:29,981 YES, INDEED. THERE SHE GOES. 384 00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:32,116 HOW WE DOING TONIGHT, JACKIE? 385 00:17:32,117 --> 00:17:35,553 HEY! HOW ARE-- HOW ARE YOU? 386 00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:37,088 GOOD TO SEE YOU. 387 00:17:37,089 --> 00:17:39,090 DON'T TOUCH! THAT'S MY STUFF! 388 00:17:39,091 --> 00:17:41,726 IT'S JUST DANGEROUS. I DON'T WANT TO TWIST AN ANKLE. 389 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,728 WE HEARD YOU BEEN ADVERTISING TONIGHT? 390 00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:45,496 HAVE YOU BEEN ADVERTISING? 391 00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:47,932 YES. NO! 392 00:17:47,933 --> 00:17:49,167 NO, NO. 393 00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:51,135 IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE YOU SEEN 'EM, 394 00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:53,237 SO I THOUGHT I'D GIVE YOU A FREEBIE. 395 00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:55,273 BUT IT'S NOT FREE! IT COSTS A BUCK! 396 00:17:55,274 --> 00:17:56,707 HEY, HEY, HEY. 397 00:17:56,708 --> 00:17:58,776 LOOK, WE DON'T WANT TO SEE 'EM, OKAY? 398 00:17:58,777 --> 00:18:01,112 YOU JUST KEEP 'EM UNDER YOUR DRAWERS OR WHATEVER. 399 00:18:01,113 --> 00:18:02,747 I'M JUST KEEPING IT REAL. 400 00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:06,217 WHAT'S WITH THE PICKLES THERE, JACKIE? 401 00:18:06,218 --> 00:18:09,754 THESE ARE SECRET-- THESE ARE A SECRET. 402 00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:11,722 HEY! OH! OH! 403 00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:13,357 THAT'S NOT GOOD. 404 00:18:13,358 --> 00:18:15,693 YEAH, YOU GOT ME IN THE EYE THERE. 405 00:18:15,694 --> 00:18:18,029 SOMEBODY SOLD ME A BUM JUICE. 406 00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:19,597 HELLO, LADIES. 407 00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:21,732 HOW WE DOING TONIGHT, LADIES? 408 00:18:21,733 --> 00:18:24,469 CAN WE HELP YOU TONIGHT? 409 00:18:24,470 --> 00:18:25,670 OH. 410 00:18:25,671 --> 00:18:26,838 DANGLE? 411 00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:28,372 LIEUTENANT? 412 00:18:28,373 --> 00:18:32,109 GARCIA. HEY. 413 00:18:32,110 --> 00:18:33,478 LIEUTENANT? 414 00:18:33,479 --> 00:18:37,381 YEAH. I'M, UH, WORKING VICE TONIGHT. 415 00:18:37,382 --> 00:18:38,816 DO YOU NEED BACKUP? 416 00:18:38,817 --> 00:18:41,285 NO, NO, NO. I'M DEEP, DEEP COVER. 417 00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:42,854 I'M GETTING A LOT OF LEADS. 418 00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:44,355 WE CAN BACK YOU UP. 419 00:18:44,356 --> 00:18:46,357 NO, NO, NO, I'M GOOD. I'M IN DEEP COVER. 420 00:18:46,358 --> 00:18:48,427 I'M GETTING A LOT OF LEADS. CARRY ON. 421 00:18:52,998 --> 00:18:56,100 UH, DOESN'T HE HAVE FRIDAY OFF? 422 00:18:56,101 --> 00:18:58,369 HE'S WORKING VICE. 423 00:18:58,370 --> 00:19:00,973 YEAH, BUT HE'S GOT FRIDAY OFF. 424 00:19:06,445 --> 00:19:08,246 OKAY, IT IS 2000 HOURS, 425 00:19:08,247 --> 00:19:10,815 AND WE HAVE BEEN ORDERED BY A FEDERAL JUDGE 426 00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:14,418 TO DESTROY THE 60-SOME POUNDS OF CONFISCATED MARIJUANA, 427 00:19:14,419 --> 00:19:17,355 AND DESTROY IT WE SHALL. 428 00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:18,422 GOOD DAY. 429 00:19:18,423 --> 00:19:19,924 YEAH, GOOD DAY. 430 00:19:19,925 --> 00:19:21,425 PASS IT AROUND. 431 00:19:21,426 --> 00:19:23,427 YOU WANT ME TO MAKE YOU ONE MORE? 432 00:19:23,428 --> 00:19:25,129 DOES ANYONE WANT MORE? 433 00:19:32,471 --> 00:19:35,107 GO, DANGLE! GO, DANGLE! GO, DANGLE! 434 00:19:58,497 --> 00:20:01,333 MAN, I LOVE BEING A COP. 435 00:20:16,214 --> 00:20:18,316 YOU GONNA DO THIS TO ME?! 436 00:20:18,317 --> 00:20:21,018 I'M AM-- YOU GONNA DO THIS?! 437 00:20:21,019 --> 00:20:23,654 LISTEN, LISTEN. HEY, BABY. HEY, BABY GIRL. 438 00:20:23,655 --> 00:20:25,523 {\an8}THEN WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? 439 00:20:25,524 --> 00:20:28,526 {\an8}THE FIRST BITCH COMES UP WITH TWO ROCKS IN HER HAND AND SAYS, 440 00:20:28,527 --> 00:20:30,728 {\an8}" I PAID YOU FOR THREE ROCKS, 441 00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:32,563 {\an8}AND YOU ONLY GAVE ME TWO." 442 00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:35,066 AND THAT SAYS, "I GAVE YOU THREE, BITCH." 443 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,667 NO! STOP! 444 00:20:36,668 --> 00:20:38,169 DON'T YOU HIT ME. 445 00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:40,871 YOU PICK UP THAT GNOME, YOU'RE A DEAD MAN. 446 00:20:40,872 --> 00:20:44,141 DON'T YOU PICK UP THAT GNOME! DON'T YOU TOUCH THAT GNOME! 447 00:20:46,712 --> 00:20:48,713 YOU GOT A WHOLE HOUSE, WIFE LEFT, 448 00:20:48,714 --> 00:20:51,382 AND THERE'S A LOT OF PEOPLE THAT DON'T KNOW YOU. 449 00:20:51,383 --> 00:20:53,384 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY ANYMORE. 450 00:20:53,385 --> 00:20:57,155 EXCUSE ME! I ACCIDENTALLY LOCKED MYSELF IN THE CAR! 451 00:21:09,468 --> 00:21:16,040 LAST NIGHT, AT ABOUT 0700 HOURS, I RETURNED TO MY HOME. 452 00:21:16,041 --> 00:21:19,143 AND I DEROBED MYSELF. 453 00:21:19,144 --> 00:21:24,715 AND I FOUND A PEZ IN MY BELLY BUTTON. 454 00:21:24,716 --> 00:21:27,752 HAVE YOU EVER HEARD ANYTHING SO RIDICULOUS? 455 00:21:27,753 --> 00:21:30,588 TRUDY, DID YOU JUST MAKE UP THAT STORY 456 00:21:30,589 --> 00:21:34,025 ABOUT THE PEZ IN YOUR BELLY BUTTON TO GET ATTENTION FROM US 457 00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:37,962 OR TO HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY AT THE MORNING MEETING? 458 00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:39,031 OR DID IT REALLY HAPPEN? 32133

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