All language subtitles for Episode 62º Patreon Fails (Part 2)

Hello friends, how are you?

How are things going?

Welcome to a new chapter.

As I saw that in the previous chapter,

in which I talked about fails, it was

a success and as I see that it

seems that you like to laugh at me

more than learn, we are going to dedicate

one more video to talk to you about

more fails or about more shit that ...

or good or curious stories that have happened

to us over the last few years, right?

So in this video I am going to

tell you about three more stories and surely

you will continue to laugh at me, right?

I always say that, please, these stories that

are always here, that you do not share

them and despite the fact that you may

think that we are or I am a

little careless, believe me that we usually always

carry the agenda and everything in order, okay?

But how logical is it, right?

When it is a wedding season, when there

are so many things to do, sometimes there

are small mistakes, right?

But hey, let's start with the first story.

We have a wedding in Chicago, a pretty

nice wedding, an incredible couple and the couple

tells us that if we did not care

that they would pay us the last payment

the day before the wedding, as we had

to stay to have a coffee and to

discuss a little things about, well, about the

schedule, we said, okay, well, you pay us,

well, you pay us directly there in Metallico

and also as we had to catch a

flight the next day of the wedding to

Philadelphia because we had to photograph, in addition

to another wedding, we caught a few small

vacations, as that money would come to us

from pearls to be able to celebrate, right?

And in total, well, the day before the

wedding, well, they pay us and give us

an envelope with 2,500 dollars, they are

not bad at all, and they tell us

that they have included a tip inside, okay?

In total, we stayed like this saying, fuck,

they give us a tip, something that in

Spain or in Europe does not usually happen

to us on many occasions, right?

In total, we already arrived at the hotel

where we were just staying, which was the

same hotel where the boyfriends got married and

when we arrived, well, Erika tells me, I'm

curious to see how much they have given

us as a tip.

In total, we count the money or Erika

counts the money and says, fuck, they have

given us 500 euros as a tip, 500

dollars, sorry, as a tip, and in total,

we say, fuck, 3,000 fucking dollars, okay?

Remember this, the envelope with 3,000 dollars.

The wedding ends, everything is going very well,

we go to bed, we rest and soon

in the morning we had all the suitcases

made, everything prepared and we had to go

to the Chicago airport to fly to Philadelphia.

In total, in the queue in which we

were doing the check-in, okay?

I go there and tell Erika, hey, are

you already preparing all the passports that they

are going to ask us for, right?

In total, she goes to the suitcase and

tells me, the envelope with the money.

I say, fuck, what do you mean the

envelope with the money?

She says it's not here.

I say, don't fuck with me, where is

it?

She says, fuck, I left it in the

same room.

I say, wow.

Running, she calls her boyfriend, I mean, tell

him what's going on, well, wake him up,

of course, I mean, tell him what's going

on, the boyfriend went to the reception, and

so on, and he tells us that the

envelope was still in the room.

Despite the fact that we knew that when

we left the room, the cleaning lady was

already there, you know?

With which we thought that maybe she had

lost it.

Erika grabs a taxi, pouring milk for the

hotel.

I stayed out of the queue, well, the

check-in, until Erika arrived.

It was, I assure you that it was,

well, I was going there, I mean, she

took the envelope, came to the airport and

quickly, well, sorry, well, we already boarded and

we were able to arrive and all this.

Of course, if she hadn't noticed, we would

have lost $ 3,000 there, and part

of the benefit of what that wedding was,

imagine, I've never lost that money, but we

were at the limit, right?

Anyway, I wanted to tell you that story

so that you can see.

If something similar has happened to you, you

know, comment it here so that you don't

make me feel so bad, right?

Second story, and it's not about weddings, it's

about a workshop.

I had a workshop in Bolivia, well, not

one, but two.

I had one both in the capital and

the other in Cochabamba, and I'm talking about

the workshop that I had in Cochabamba.

At the time of the practice, at the

time of, like all workshops, I have a

small session of a couple of hours to,

well, to show the students how I deal

with the couple, right?

The time comes and at the moment, just

before starting, we had gone to one of

the main parks in Cochabamba, which had, well,

various interesting areas to shoot.

First shot of all, huh?

The first one.

I was just with the couple, who were

the organizer's brothers-in-law.

I was there with the couple, quietly, and

I told him, look, you're going to go

a little over there, and I tell the

bride to stay right in front of me.

In short, the bride was a few meters

away and the groom was like, quite a

few meters away, okay?

Because the story was to capture the typical

photo of the bride near me, with the

groom in the background, and try to make

that have a certain connection, right?

In short, I tell him and the groom

to sit down, right?

That is, to sit down to try, well,

to be able to work.

In short, to sit down, and I'm already

prepared like this, I had the bride just

perfect here, and I'm about to shoot, and

I see that the groom gets up and

starts playing like this, I don't know what,

and I tell him, well, I mean, I

think, but what the hell is this guy

doing?

Why isn't he sitting down?

And I say, no, no, no, I say,

sit down, sit down, sit down.

And he tells me, and I tell myself,

right on the other end, the organizer, like

saying, stop, stop, stop, right?

Something like that, right?

And he comes towards me, and stabs me

in the ear, and I didn't understand anything.

In other words, I was with all the

students right here, and the organizer comes to

me, as I say, to stab me.

And I say, man, no, I don't hear

you, tell me what's going on.

And he tells me that he has sat

on a human shit.

I say, what the hell?

I say, what do you mean a human

shit?

And he says, yes, man, someone had shit

on the floor, and the groom has sat

on the poop.

I say, no, man, what the hell are

you telling me?

I go straight to the groom, and I

say, he had his whole back, his whole

back full of shit, and all, and all,

and all, I mean, like all the pants

behind him were also full of shit.

I say, no, man, I mean, imagine the

fucking situation.

At that damn moment, I say, how do

I start the session?

I mean, but what the fuck, what the

fuck is going on, right?

In short, a student who was already there

came running, the toast was already oiled, never

better said, he came running and said, look,

I have the studio just going back a

block, I get clothes, both a shirt and

pants, and we dress it.

In short, yes, yes, he came running, he

took off his pants there, he put on

his shirt, and more or less it was

fixed, the situation was solved a bit, but

imagine him, and not only, well, the boy,

right?

Who got stained with shit, I mean, how

bad, right?

But if not in my place too, I

mean, I had completely lost focus, I did

not know where the fuck to go, I

did not know what the fuck to ask

now, the boy who had stained with shit.

I say, what is this guy going to

think of me now when I ask him

to sit down, when I ask him to

do something different, to what they are used

to there in Bolivia.

Well, in the end, I was lucky, I

regrouped, the boy also regrouped, and we were

able to work, and I was still lucky

that I was able to capture some image

like this, and I was still, in a

certain way, creative and fresh, right?

But ...

earth, swallow me, right?

Anyway, let's go for the other story, for

the last story, and I'm going to tell

you about a wedding, a wedding that we

photographed with Erika in Italy, about 4 or

5 years ago.

I'm not going to go deep into the

place, because I don't want you to go

deep, bastards, but it's just that wedding in

Italy, we had to cover, on Friday there

was a reception party, on Saturday, the day

of the wedding, and on Sunday, a pool

party.

It was a couple from Belgium, don't misinterpret

me, please, the Belgians, I adore you, and

in fact, this couple that I am going

to tell you about is one of my

favorites, okay?

In other words, it is an adorable couple,

okay?

Well, anyway, we arrived on Friday, and on

Friday when we arrived at the hotel, it

was a super beautiful, incredible hotel, and the

couple, I have to say, had spectacular purchasing

power, spectacular.

And at that wedding, sometimes I thought that

the mission was to throw away the money,

that is, because it was all spending, spending,

spending, spending, spending.

Well, in short, we arrived on Friday, there

with the suitcases, and there were both the

grooms and their guests, about 50, the grooms

would be around 40 years old, and the

guests between 40 and 50 as well, right?

In short, when we arrived, I promise you,

I arrive and think, are these people doing

drugs?

I assure you that I did not see

any evidence, because they were people, that is,

all gentlemen and all like that, well, very,

very polite ladies, super well dressed, at no

time was anyone doing anything out of the

ordinary for me to think that those people

were doing drugs.

But many of you know that I was

working, when I started as a photographer, in

a disco that was electronic music, and I

was working there for five years, and at

a festival also of electronic music, I was

working for ten years, with which I had

the sixth sense to know when someone, even

if he did not see it, even if

it was not evident, had drunk or had,

or had been drugged, right?

In short, I thought about it, but I

thought, no, Víctor, man, you are hallucinating, this

cannot happen at today's wedding.

In short, well, on Friday we worked with

Erika, everything was very good, I mean, very

polite people, fantastic boyfriends.

On Saturday too, on Saturday it was also

a very, very cool day, and I already

began to see certain evidences, but I did

not want to imagine it, because I saw

everyone so polite, so well, without any strange

thing, no one moving the jaw, I mean,

everyone was very well, but I already saw

things like the boyfriend from time to time

entering a bathroom with more boys, you know?

But I didn't want to think about it,

I was stupid.

In short, the wedding passes, I mean, the

ceremony passes, the dinner, the party, and already

at the party, in the middle of the

party, it is true that everything was, well,

with a lot of happiness, with a lot

of party, with a lot of weddings.

I go to the bathroom to pee, and

I was peeing in the typical cubicle of

the boys, and behind me, in the bathroom,

which was right behind me, you could hear

noises.

In short, the door opens, and the boyfriend

comes out, with all this white, and says

to me, everything is ok, Víctor?

And he said, yes, yes, totally ok, with

the boyfriend totally in white, and the other,

well, no, no, but I say, ay, what

the hell, what's up with the boyfriend, what's

up with the untied boyfriend, this guy.

In short, nothing, they leave, I keep washing

my hands, all this, I prepare the cameras,

boom, boom, boom.

It was, I assure you, people, it was

as if when the boyfriend closed the bathroom

door, it was as if I had said,

guys, the fool of the photographer has finally

realized that we are drugging each other like

rats.

Why?

Because I assure you that I open the

door, nothing more, and when I started, almost

about to shoot, a guy comes to me

with a leek like this, and he tells

me, do you want to smoke?

And I say, no, no, no, thank you,

thank you, I'm working.

And this guy, why does he offer me

a leek?

In short, I keep working, and after a

while, a guy comes to me, and he

tells me, here in the ear, hey, do

you want cocaine?

I say, ay, how is this going?

I say, no, no, no, no, thank you,

although I kept working, I kept working and

such, and we were a little longer, and

with Erika, well, we went to the room

and they left quietly, right?

At that moment, I understood why they had

hired me for a pool party, because at

first I thought, we have to, like, they

have hired us for a pool party, I

thought this like months before, without knowing the

boyfriends, and I thought, fuck, they have hired

me for a pool party, surely they are

lying in a, in a slum, and in

the pool, and that they don't do anything,

and they won't give me photos, that they

didn't give me photos.

That couple hired two super-recognized Italian electronic

music DJs, I can't say the name, and

they also hired a go-go team from

one of the main discos in Rome.

That pool party was a little less than

a ferocious party at the highest level, I

mean, a madness, but wait, something very, very

funny is still coming.

So we were still there, well, I mean,

I was already working, we already knew that

they were still, well, they were still doing

drugs from time to time, but we didn't

care.

So, we were already taking pictures, and I

thought, fuck, I could go up to the

top of the hotel, to the rooftop of

the hotel, and try to take a panoramic

picture so that the boyfriends would have, because

they had prepared in the garden, food stalls,

the DJ, the pool party, I mean, there

was a nice panoramic.

I go to the reception area, and I

tell them that if I could go up

to one of the rooms, or one of

the corridors, and they tell me that they

don't give me the key to any room,

and that I go up, and if I

find any guest who asks for permission.

I went up to one of the rooms,

which was on the last floor, and I

meet one of the guests, and I tell

him that if he cared if I entered

his room to take a panoramic picture in

a minute.

The man tells me, very, very polite, yes,

yes, he opens the door for you, you

enter, and when you want, you go downstairs,

and that's it.

So I was left alone in the room,

well, taking pictures, and I took pictures with

the 35, with the 85, and in the

meantime, I was looking, next to the window,

there was a tray, up to the top

of marihuana, but like this, a lot of

smoke, my God.

I keep shooting, and suddenly the cleaning ladies

arrive, with the vacuum cleaner, and they come

with the vacuum cleaner, and I tell them,

but like this, in the room, I like

this, with the ladies there, and I tell

them, well, be a little careful, because as

you pass the vacuum cleaner around, and they

realize that I was referring to the lot

of marihuana.

And the ladies tell me, as well as

very with an Italian accent, they say, well,

we have found, in other rooms, white rocks

in plastic.

I say, whore, I say, don't fuck with

me, the Italian ladies there saying that they

had found, I say, well, little balls with

coca, and I was born, hallucinating, so, that

was the story I wanted to tell you.

Finally, when we delivered the job, the bride

wrote me, first, to tell me, thank you

very much for the job, that I was

super happy with what we had done, second,

that I was very happy, how we had

been totally respectful, and we had not gotten

involved in any situation, and we had always

been totally silent, and the third, which was

the best, which was the first couple, or

the first bride, who told me, you have

to tell me, in addition to what we

pay you, I mean, you have to tell

me, please, how many extra hours did you

work more, because I know that you worked

more than I was hired.

And I was stunned, I say, it was

the first damn couple who tells me, hey,

how many extra hours have you worked, total,

that I pass it to them and they

pay us again, I mean, fucking hell.

So, that's all, friends, those were the three

fails, or the three stories, the three battles

that I wanted to share with you, so

that you could see what happens for all

this shit, right?

So, nothing else, friends, take care, and until

next time.