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Oh, Lord Jesus!
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Heal!
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Help me, Jesus!
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00:00:25,235 --> 00:00:35,009
Ripped By mstoll
Happy New Year 2015 - New Year, New Color ;-)
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♪ Oh, life on the outside
ain't what it used to be ♪
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♪ You know,
the world's gone crazy,
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and it ain't safe
on the street ♪
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♪ Oh! ♪
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00:00:53,086 --> 00:00:58,080
♪ Well, it's a drag, and I know
there's only one place to go ♪
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♪ I'm coming home ♪
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♪ Whoa, yeah ♪
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00:01:01,428 --> 00:01:05,228
♪ I'm coming home ♪
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There's the spider!
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Get it!
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Help.
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What's that ruckus?
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Sir, this gathering
is completely unsanctioned.
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And Alice is in cahoots!
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Outrageous!
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Those lucky cons get to rub up
against her fuzzy fun-bumps,
21
00:01:36,496 --> 00:01:38,020
and she doesn't say boo!
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Sir, I'm forced to recommend
strict disciplinary... Sir?
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And now our undefeated champ
faces a last-minute entry,
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"Señor Happy Hands!"
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Greetings, señorita.
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I don't know who
you think you are,
27
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but I'm gonna "f'
you up so bad.
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Fight!
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- Oh, gross.
- Oh, my...
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Okay, okay, okay!
Alice wins! Alice wins!
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Pretty sweet beatdown,
huh?
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Don't you think that was
a bit much?
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Yeah, I think you really put
the hurt on that poor guy.
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What the "f'?
It was a fight. I fought him.
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Is that what you call it?
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'Cause from here, you look like
some gross, out-of-control dude.
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You need to check yourself.
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Gross dude?
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Come on, sir.
40
00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:40,426
You've got to keep up
your strength!
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Don't baby me, Jared!
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Useless.
I'm a pathetic invalid.
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Alice will never let me
grope her now!
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Sir, just keep
squeezing your therapy ball,
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and you'll be tying your own
bow tie in no time!
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Get out, and take
your pity ball with you!
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You're just tired
from gumming your lunch.
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00:03:04,284 --> 00:03:07,117
I'll be by tomorrow
for your sponge bath!
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00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:15,854
Well, goodbye,
cruel world
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00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:18,397
and tough-but-fair
Superjail.
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00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:29,836
♪ Amazing grace,
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00:03:29,909 --> 00:03:36,838
how sweet the sound ♪
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♪ that saved
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a wretch like me ♪
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Bunch of jerks,
giving me a hard time.
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I just did what I always do.
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Right... like I always do.
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00:03:56,603 --> 00:03:59,538
♪ But now I'm found ♪
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00:03:59,606 --> 00:04:03,167
I've been lashing out
like a dude my whole life.
60
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,972
Well, no more, damn it!
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00:04:05,044 --> 00:04:07,035
A real lady stifles
her ball rage,
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00:04:07,113 --> 00:04:10,549
and it's about time someone
acts like a lady around here.
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00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,015
So, after weathering Superjail's
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various hustles and bustles,
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you ended up just
hanging out here?
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00:04:19,525 --> 00:04:21,516
Yep. Superjail ain't
always been kind,
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but we learned that it don't
bother us if we don't bother it.
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So, what's your major
malfunction?
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00:04:33,506 --> 00:04:35,804
We're not malfunctioning,
Warden.
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00:04:35,875 --> 00:04:39,811
We just function differently
and, like, way more gross.
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00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:43,175
Snack time, fellas!
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Thanks, Slim!
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Yeah! Whoo!
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00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:55,389
Lads, check it out!
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00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:03,159
Huh?
T'ain't one of mine.
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00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:04,601
Oops, forgot to double bag.
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00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:06,696
You dumb sack of!
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00:05:06,773 --> 00:05:08,400
I'll bite your
Nuts off, asshole!
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00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:09,702
Whoa! Come on, fellas!
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00:05:09,776 --> 00:05:11,801
Haven't we been through
enough already?
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00:05:12,845 --> 00:05:14,244
You're right, Gunz.
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00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,338
Sorry, Bagpipe.
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00:05:15,415 --> 00:05:18,816
Ah, no sweat, bro.
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00:05:18,885 --> 00:05:22,218
Boys, your freakish
fraternity has given me hope.
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I now see there's more to life
than virility and strength
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and groping
the sexiest woman alive.
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00:05:27,460 --> 00:05:30,452
But you need to see that there's
a whole jail of opportunity
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outside this garden!
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You'll feel like real people
again in no time,
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once you're bunking
with all the normal
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murderers and rapists!
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Ugh! Watch it, turd!
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00:06:01,661 --> 00:06:04,494
Uh, I mean,
here you go, uh, buddy.
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00:06:05,898 --> 00:06:07,297
Hey, guys.
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00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,494
Let's stop being a bunch
of dumb meatheads and, like,
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00:06:09,569 --> 00:06:11,093
have a nice day and crap.
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00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:12,603
off, bitch.
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00:06:13,973 --> 00:06:15,634
Violence is not the answer.
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00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:20,509
Should've listened
to the lady.
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00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:40,130
Hey!
Our glory-hole wall!
101
00:06:40,199 --> 00:06:42,429
Greetings,
love/jailbirds,
102
00:06:42,502 --> 00:06:44,163
and welcome
to our double-wide,
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handicap-accessible stall!
104
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We're losing our love nest so
a few cripples can take a squat?
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Such intolerance!
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00:06:50,810 --> 00:06:53,711
Sir, you must have no idea
what it feels like
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00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:55,509
to be
an underserved minority.
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00:06:56,983 --> 00:06:58,746
Sir, what's going on?
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00:06:58,818 --> 00:07:01,685
Did you realize Superjail's not
handicap-accessible?
110
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:05,781
I've got just a few small
tweaks in mind.
111
00:07:11,631 --> 00:07:12,620
Well?!
112
00:07:12,698 --> 00:07:15,223
It's a cripple's greatest dream,
isn't it?!
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Except for walking, I guess.
114
00:07:17,069 --> 00:07:18,832
This is really too, too much.
115
00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:21,669
Yeah, we don't need
a whole fuss made over us!
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I don't like
being singled out!
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Come on.
Everyone will love you!
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They're just waiting to be
inspired
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00:07:27,747 --> 00:07:31,239
by your tales of
perseverance and...
120
00:07:31,317 --> 00:07:34,809
So, these geeks are why
the whole yard's messed up.
121
00:07:34,887 --> 00:07:36,616
Huh?
122
00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:47,030
Let's just keep our heads
down, okay?!
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00:07:47,099 --> 00:07:48,532
Uh, sorry, Lowbrow.
124
00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:50,592
It's okay.
125
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:53,662
Oww! Watch it, jerk!
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00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:57,438
- Oops.
- All right. That does it!
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00:07:57,510 --> 00:07:59,501
Let's mess these freaks up!
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00:07:59,579 --> 00:08:01,672
You know, like...
like, even more.
129
00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:04,880
Don't worry.
Little hazing ritual.
130
00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:06,350
Totally normal.
131
00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:08,250
Come on, men!
We're survivors!
132
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,948
Let's do what we always do
133
00:08:10,022 --> 00:08:13,219
and use what we got
when we're doing it!
134
00:08:24,136 --> 00:08:25,125
Aah!
135
00:08:37,316 --> 00:08:39,045
Aah!
136
00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:06,709
You boners think I can't stop
you without being violent?
137
00:09:06,779 --> 00:09:08,679
Oww!
Damn it!
138
00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:11,148
Remain a lady.
139
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,559
No. No. No! It's all happening
all over again!
140
00:09:30,636 --> 00:09:33,230
Oh, boy. I think they've almost
been accepted into the herd.
141
00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:35,206
This is all 'cause of you.
142
00:09:35,274 --> 00:09:38,004
Hey, no need
to thank me, guys.
143
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:44,883
Aah!
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00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:46,976
Somebody help me, please!
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this.
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00:09:52,725 --> 00:09:54,386
Hold on tight.
147
00:10:14,013 --> 00:10:15,537
What... I should treat them
different
148
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,583
'cause they're
crippled?
149
00:10:17,650 --> 00:10:20,244
She saved me!
Did you see it?
150
00:10:20,319 --> 00:10:23,584
But, sir, all your new
handicapped friends are dead!
151
00:10:23,656 --> 00:10:24,645
Who cares?
152
00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:26,453
We've got a whole new
crop of cripples,
153
00:10:26,525 --> 00:10:28,925
ripe with "challenging
yet ultimately life affirming"
154
00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:30,758
adversities to overcome!
155
00:10:30,830 --> 00:10:32,798
But do me a favor and put them
where I don't have to see them.
156
00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:36,395
Or hear them.
157
00:10:37,994 --> 00:10:47,999
Ripped By mstoll
Happy New Year 2015 - New Year, New Color ;-)
11145
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