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1
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( Theme music playing )
2
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What?
3
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:02,861
Mr. De Palma, my name's Goodwin.
4
00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:04,496
I'm starting today.
5
00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:05,513
Oh, yeah?
6
00:01:05,548 --> 00:01:07,081
Okay, Mr. Goodwin,
7
00:01:07,117 --> 00:01:09,851
let me give you a
couple of tips here.
8
00:01:09,886 --> 00:01:13,021
You'll get cab 607
when it's ready.
9
00:01:13,056 --> 00:01:14,722
All right? Now,
you listen to me.
10
00:01:14,758 --> 00:01:16,858
We can get along very nicely
11
00:01:16,893 --> 00:01:19,577
if you remember
these three things.
12
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One: Keep your bookings high.
13
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Two: Call me at least
24 hours ahead of time
14
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if you're going to miss work
15
00:01:27,637 --> 00:01:30,239
and three, and most importantly:
16
00:01:30,274 --> 00:01:34,693
There is a certain word that I
never want to hear around here.
17
00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:36,378
What word is that, Mr. De Palma?
18
00:01:36,413 --> 00:01:38,847
This is a certain
word that I hate
19
00:01:38,883 --> 00:01:42,467
more than any word in
the entire English language
20
00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:43,969
and it is a word
21
00:01:44,004 --> 00:01:47,306
that I never want
to hear around here.
22
00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:51,693
What's the word I never
want to hear around here?
23
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You see how well they know
24
00:01:57,500 --> 00:02:00,285
I don't want to hear that word?
25
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:04,422
The word is "accident."
26
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:05,807
You got that?
27
00:02:05,843 --> 00:02:06,958
Got it.
28
00:02:06,994 --> 00:02:08,860
Now, you can do
whatever you want.
29
00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:12,330
You want to peddle dope,
you want to be a white slaver...
30
00:02:12,365 --> 00:02:14,566
Anything you want,
that's your business.
31
00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:17,569
If you ever come up
to me and say to me
32
00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:22,774
that you had a you-know-what
in one of my cabs,
33
00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:26,278
I'm going to rip your head
off and use it as a radiator cap.
34
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:27,429
You got that?
35
00:02:27,464 --> 00:02:28,663
I understand.
36
00:02:28,699 --> 00:02:30,748
Nice to have you aboard.
37
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:33,820
Okay.
38
00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:36,754
Hi, everybody.
39
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:38,101
ELAINE: TONY:
Hi, John. Hey, John.
40
00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:39,291
How you doing, man? Fine.
41
00:02:40,460 --> 00:02:41,793
Hi, Louie.
42
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:42,844
Burns...
43
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,114
Where's the rest?
44
00:02:46,149 --> 00:02:47,799
Uh, that's all there is, Louie.
45
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:49,317
You drove around for ten hours
46
00:02:49,352 --> 00:02:51,219
and that's all you
got to show for it?
47
00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:54,373
What do you do, put a
quarantine sign in the window?
48
00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:57,209
I'm... I'm sorry, uh...
49
00:02:57,244 --> 00:02:59,560
I'll try harder next time, okay?
50
00:03:01,832 --> 00:03:03,632
You know something, Burns?
51
00:03:03,667 --> 00:03:07,368
You are, without a doubt,
the worst cabby I ever had.
52
00:03:07,404 --> 00:03:10,255
One more night...
Just one more time...
53
00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:12,257
You come dragging in here
54
00:03:12,292 --> 00:03:15,160
with that Howdy
Doody face of yours
55
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:18,163
and change for a quarter
in your booking envelope
56
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,232
and I'm telling
you, so help me...
57
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What? Ow!
58
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:22,534
ELAINE: Louie, what's wrong?
59
00:03:22,569 --> 00:03:23,902
ALEX: Get him a glass of water.
60
00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:25,904
Hey, you want to sit down?
61
00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:27,539
It's okay, it's okay.
62
00:03:27,574 --> 00:03:29,541
It's that heartburn again.
63
00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:31,676
BOB: You sure it's
only heartburn, Louie?
64
00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:34,729
Ow! Whatever
it is, I don't like it.
65
00:03:34,765 --> 00:03:37,131
Hey, you want to go
upstairs and lie down?
66
00:03:37,167 --> 00:03:38,132
( Exhales sharply )
67
00:03:38,168 --> 00:03:39,534
No, I'm all right.
It's going away.
68
00:03:39,569 --> 00:03:42,170
Have you been getting
these pains a lot?
69
00:03:42,205 --> 00:03:44,005
Yeah, for about a month now.
70
00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:46,324
Hey, Louie, don't you think
you ought to see a doctor?
71
00:03:46,359 --> 00:03:49,610
What, see a
doctor for a simple...
72
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:52,513
gut-wrenching pain?
73
00:03:52,549 --> 00:03:54,515
Yeah. Maybe I'd better,
I'd better go see one now.
74
00:03:54,551 --> 00:03:55,761
ALEX: Yeah, I think you should.
75
00:03:55,785 --> 00:03:56,935
Here, let me help you.
76
00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:57,936
That's okay, you guys.
77
00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:58,937
I can take care of him.
78
00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:00,138
I'll get your coat, Louie.
79
00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:01,806
I hope you feel better, Louie.
80
00:04:01,841 --> 00:04:02,740
Take it easy.
81
00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:03,776
Thanks.
82
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:06,745
Here you go, Louie.
83
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:07,746
Thanks, Burns.
84
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:08,747
Sure you're okay?
85
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:09,959
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'm okay, I'm okay.
86
00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:11,282
Hey, you want me to drive you?
87
00:04:11,317 --> 00:04:12,834
No, no, no. Listen, Burns.
88
00:04:12,869 --> 00:04:14,469
Huh? Thanks for your concern.
89
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:15,537
Oh, that's all right.
90
00:04:15,572 --> 00:04:17,972
And, you know, about
what I was saying before,
91
00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:20,074
you know, about your bookings
92
00:04:20,109 --> 00:04:21,421
and about how I
was going to fire you
93
00:04:21,445 --> 00:04:22,588
if you had another bad night...
94
00:04:22,612 --> 00:04:23,645
Yeah, Louie.
95
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,179
Don't forget it.
96
00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:36,240
( Sighing )
97
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:39,243
I really appreciate you
guys coming in to visit me.
98
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,945
Aw, how could we not come
99
00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:43,715
after you sent us
that cute little note?
100
00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:47,752
"Please come and
see me before I die."
101
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:51,806
Louie, Louie, Louie, look, it's
just an exploratory operation.
102
00:04:51,842 --> 00:04:54,104
I mean, they just want to take a
look and see if everything's okay.
103
00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:55,276
Call it whatever you want,
104
00:04:55,312 --> 00:04:57,079
they're cutting me
up and going inside.
105
00:04:57,114 --> 00:04:59,731
Once they're in there, who
knows what's gonna happen?
106
00:04:59,766 --> 00:05:01,750
Louie, I can understand
what you're worried about,
107
00:05:01,785 --> 00:05:03,485
but the way the doctor
explained it to us,
108
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:04,720
it's just routine, that's all.
109
00:05:04,755 --> 00:05:06,755
Maybe for them it
is, but not for me.
110
00:05:06,790 --> 00:05:09,808
I'm scared... I never
been in a hospital before.
111
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:10,875
Sure you have.
112
00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:12,644
You were born, weren't you?
113
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,112
As a matter of fact,
114
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I was delivered on a
kitchen table by a midwife.
115
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,517
It was the only room
that had any heat.
116
00:05:19,552 --> 00:05:22,754
JOHN: Wow, a kitchen table!
117
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:24,756
Well, half the kitchen table.
118
00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:27,492
Dad was eating
dinner on the other half.
119
00:05:30,947 --> 00:05:32,614
TONY: Hey, Louie.
120
00:05:32,649 --> 00:05:34,298
How come your mother's not here?
121
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:37,351
I didn't want to worry her,
so I didn't tell her about it.
122
00:05:37,387 --> 00:05:40,288
She thinks I'm out of
town, seeing you fight.
123
00:05:40,323 --> 00:05:41,456
No kidding.
124
00:05:41,491 --> 00:05:43,008
Who'd I fight?
125
00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:45,026
Some kid from Mexico.
126
00:05:45,061 --> 00:05:45,943
How'd I do?
127
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:48,596
He knocks you out
in the second round.
128
00:05:48,632 --> 00:05:51,533
Yeah, them Mexican
guys are tough.
129
00:05:51,568 --> 00:05:54,919
Anybody want some chocolates?
130
00:05:54,954 --> 00:05:55,920
No, no, thanks. No.
131
00:05:55,955 --> 00:05:57,539
Oh, no, thanks,
I don't eat sugar.
132
00:05:57,574 --> 00:05:59,491
I try to eat only
natural things.
133
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:02,276
How'd you like a sack of dirt?
134
00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:08,700
Louie, did you say
chocolate candy?
135
00:06:08,735 --> 00:06:09,735
Yeah, have one.
136
00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,202
Thank you very much.
137
00:07:02,739 --> 00:07:04,840
I said, "Have one."
138
00:07:04,875 --> 00:07:07,175
Oh, you said, "Have one"?
139
00:07:07,210 --> 00:07:10,244
I thought you said, "Leave one."
140
00:07:12,665 --> 00:07:14,766
I'm afraid you'll all
have to leave now.
141
00:07:14,801 --> 00:07:16,401
Oh, hey, listen,
Louie, take it easy now.
142
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:17,535
Everything's gonna be fine.
143
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:18,870
Louie, if you don't make it back
144
00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:20,238
to the garage, we'll understand.
145
00:07:20,274 --> 00:07:21,572
Bye.
146
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,141
Hey, Lou, I hope
you feel better.
147
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:24,320
See you in a day
or two, all right?
148
00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:25,310
Thanks.
149
00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:26,311
Good-bye, Louie.
150
00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:27,312
( Mutters )
151
00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:28,313
Alex? Yeah.
152
00:07:28,348 --> 00:07:30,148
Can I speak to you
for a second, please?
153
00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:32,083
Well, the nurse did
ask us to leave, Louie.
154
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,780
I know, but this is
something really important.
155
00:07:33,804 --> 00:07:35,119
It won't take long.
156
00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:36,287
Okay.
157
00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:40,458
I just want to talk to you
about life and death and God.
158
00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:43,962
Good, then I won't
have to sit down.
159
00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:45,429
Yeah?
160
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:48,099
Alex... Yeah.
161
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:50,367
Now that the others are gone,
162
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:52,554
I got to be honest with you.
163
00:07:52,589 --> 00:07:55,106
I'm not just
scared, I'm terrified.
164
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:56,235
Louie, Louie, Louie, now look,
165
00:07:56,259 --> 00:07:57,570
you got to try to
relax. You understand?
166
00:07:57,594 --> 00:07:58,926
How can I relax?
167
00:07:58,961 --> 00:08:01,496
This could be the end for me.
168
00:08:01,531 --> 00:08:03,648
Tell me something, Alex.
169
00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:05,883
Are you... are you
a religious man?
170
00:08:05,918 --> 00:08:08,219
Yeah, in a way I am, yeah.
171
00:08:08,255 --> 00:08:09,487
Good.
172
00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:12,924
Then you'll understand
what I'm about to do.
173
00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:17,829
God...
174
00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:24,669
It's Louie... Louie De Palma.
175
00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:31,742
I know it's been a long time
since you heard from me.
176
00:08:31,778 --> 00:08:34,980
I'm kind of out of
practice at praying,
177
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:39,684
but I just thought I... I felt
like I had to talk to you now.
178
00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:41,586
By the way, this is Alex Rieger.
179
00:08:41,621 --> 00:08:43,521
He's a friend of mine.
180
00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:45,790
Say hello to God, Alex.
181
00:08:47,243 --> 00:08:48,554
No, Louie, listen,
I don't think, I...
182
00:08:48,578 --> 00:08:49,594
Say hello.
183
00:08:49,629 --> 00:08:51,563
He hasn't got all day.
184
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:56,000
Hello, there.
185
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,502
Listen, I-I just wanted
186
00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:02,189
Alex here as a witness
to what I'm about to say.
187
00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:09,831
Look, God... I know
I ain't been no saint
188
00:09:09,866 --> 00:09:12,584
and I've done some pretty
rotten things in my life.
189
00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:13,984
Alex can back me up on that.
190
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:15,086
Tell him, Alex.
191
00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:16,588
Huh? Oh, Louie,
192
00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:18,456
I don't think I... Go
on, tell him the truth.
193
00:09:21,277 --> 00:09:25,480
Well, um... he's
not your best work.
194
00:09:29,419 --> 00:09:30,551
Thanks.
195
00:09:32,289 --> 00:09:37,842
Look, God, I want to
make a deal with you.
196
00:09:37,878 --> 00:09:43,347
If you can arrange it so that
I live through this operation,
197
00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:46,601
I'll be the best
person I can be...
198
00:09:47,971 --> 00:09:52,106
A whole new Louie
De Palma... kind...
199
00:09:52,141 --> 00:09:56,661
generous... honest.
200
00:09:57,948 --> 00:10:00,265
What do you say, God?
201
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,267
Is it a deal?
202
00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:06,504
Look... I tell you what.
203
00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:08,806
You send me a sign.
204
00:10:08,841 --> 00:10:12,143
Let me see... I got it.
205
00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:15,447
Unless a bolt of lightning
shoots through that window
206
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:18,015
in the next five seconds,
207
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:19,717
I'll consider it a deal.
208
00:10:29,779 --> 00:10:33,064
Well, I guess you got
yourself a deal, huh?
209
00:10:33,099 --> 00:10:37,885
Yeah, and I'm
going to stick by it.
210
00:10:37,921 --> 00:10:39,553
Time to go, Mr. De Palma.
211
00:10:39,589 --> 00:10:41,067
Oh, hey, listen, Louie,
just take it easy now.
212
00:10:41,091 --> 00:10:42,135
Everything is
gonna be all right.
213
00:10:42,159 --> 00:10:43,202
Don't worry about
a thing. You...
214
00:10:43,226 --> 00:10:44,726
I hope so. I hope so.
215
00:10:44,761 --> 00:10:45,793
Alex. What?
216
00:10:45,828 --> 00:10:46,811
Listen.
217
00:10:46,846 --> 00:10:48,079
Whatever happens, Yeah.
218
00:10:48,114 --> 00:10:51,515
I want you to know that
you've been a good friend.
219
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:53,384
ALEX: Yeah, okay,
Louie. Come on...
220
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:55,320
I mean it.
221
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:57,322
Take care of yourself.
222
00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:59,757
And I hope the
world is kind to you.
223
00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:00,758
Thanks, Lou.
224
00:11:00,793 --> 00:11:02,109
And, and listen,
225
00:11:02,144 --> 00:11:05,012
if I don't make it,
don't tell Ma that I died.
226
00:11:05,047 --> 00:11:07,482
Tell her that I'm on a
mission for the government.
227
00:11:07,517 --> 00:11:08,483
She'll believe you.
228
00:11:08,518 --> 00:11:09,884
She's a little
funny in the head.
229
00:11:22,749 --> 00:11:23,715
Hey, guys.
230
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:24,716
Hi, Tony. Hi, Tony.
231
00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:26,228
I thought Louie was
coming back today.
232
00:11:26,252 --> 00:11:27,852
Yeah, he is. He
should be in any minute.
233
00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:28,987
I am so proud of Louie.
234
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,655
I can't believe how
he bounced back
235
00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:32,557
ALEX: Yeah. from
that operation so fast.
236
00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:35,226
Isn't it great that it
was only gallstones?
237
00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:37,228
How many gallstones
did they have to remove?
238
00:11:37,263 --> 00:11:38,196
Just one.
239
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:39,446
Aw, man, that's good.
240
00:11:39,482 --> 00:11:43,267
As long as you still got
one, he could still have kids.
241
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:48,923
You know, I-I still can't get
over that story Alex told us
242
00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:50,391
about Louie's deal with God.
243
00:11:50,426 --> 00:11:52,260
Hey, do you think
he's gonna keep it?
244
00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:54,011
Well, I think he's gonna try.
245
00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:56,064
Yeah, for about ten minutes.
246
00:11:56,099 --> 00:11:57,226
No, no, no, I mean it, Bobby.
247
00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:59,450
Make that five minutes.
248
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:01,669
Yeah, well, I think
he's gonna make it.
249
00:12:01,704 --> 00:12:02,837
Yeah?
250
00:12:02,873 --> 00:12:05,506
I got $50 that says he can't
make it through one day
251
00:12:05,541 --> 00:12:06,975
without yelling, screaming
252
00:12:07,010 --> 00:12:09,543
and generally abusing at
least one person in this garage.
253
00:12:09,579 --> 00:12:10,857
Wait a minute, Bob,
are you really serious?
254
00:12:10,881 --> 00:12:12,158
I mean, you're gonna
make a bet about a man
255
00:12:12,182 --> 00:12:13,948
keeping his faithful
oath with his God?
256
00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:15,316
I'll give you two to one.
257
00:12:15,351 --> 00:12:16,317
You're on.
258
00:12:16,352 --> 00:12:17,585
All right.
259
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:21,472
Hey! Hey, Louie! Hey!
260
00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:23,474
ALL: Hey!
261
00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:24,809
Wow, you look
terrific, you know?
262
00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:27,846
( Others oohing and ahhing )
263
00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:29,580
Well, it's great to be back.
264
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:30,431
How do you feel?
265
00:12:30,467 --> 00:12:31,582
Oh, oh, I feel great.
266
00:12:31,617 --> 00:12:32,583
I feel terrific.
267
00:12:32,618 --> 00:12:33,751
How's everybody been?
268
00:12:33,787 --> 00:12:35,147
Oh, everybody's
fine. Everybody's fine.
269
00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:36,137
Yeah. Rock 'n' roll.
270
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:38,906
John, how are the bookings?
271
00:12:38,942 --> 00:12:40,908
Oh, not so good, I'm afraid.
272
00:12:40,943 --> 00:12:43,677
Last night I had
my worst night ever.
273
00:12:43,713 --> 00:12:44,713
I'm sorry.
274
00:12:47,617 --> 00:12:49,884
It's only money.
275
00:12:51,654 --> 00:12:52,669
LOUIE: Oh, Elaine...
276
00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:55,740
How are your kids?
277
00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:57,075
They're fine.
278
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,426
Why don't you bring them down
279
00:12:58,461 --> 00:13:01,028
to the garage
someday for a visit?
280
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:05,033
I'd love to see them.
281
00:13:05,068 --> 00:13:07,969
After all, a man is never taller
282
00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:11,105
than when he
stoops to help a child.
283
00:13:12,642 --> 00:13:14,992
And nobody can stoop lower
284
00:13:15,027 --> 00:13:16,828
than you, De Palma.
285
00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:22,199
Thank you, my friend.
286
00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:29,507
Latka.
287
00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:31,675
Latka, Latka, Latka.
288
00:13:31,711 --> 00:13:33,177
Hi.
289
00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:34,479
Always working,
290
00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:36,414
Yeah. Never resting.
291
00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:37,982
That's right.
292
00:13:38,017 --> 00:13:40,718
Come... let's have
a cup of coffee.
293
00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:41,719
Okay.
294
00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:42,720
My treat.
295
00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:43,887
Okay.
296
00:13:43,923 --> 00:13:45,556
( Speaking native language )
297
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,525
Two lumps?
298
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,360
So, tell me, Latka,
299
00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:51,395
what's been new in your life?
300
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:52,396
Oh, what's new?
301
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:53,397
Yeah.
302
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:55,132
Well, uh, this morning
303
00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:57,151
I heard a very good joke
304
00:13:57,186 --> 00:13:58,869
from my cousin Baji.
305
00:13:58,904 --> 00:14:00,605
Oh, from Baji!
306
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:01,772
Oh, let's hear it.
307
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:03,024
I love a good joke.
308
00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:04,075
Okay.
309
00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:10,414
Eh... ( speaking
native language )
310
00:14:14,253 --> 00:14:17,955
( Speaking in gruff voice )
311
00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:20,624
( Continues speaking
native language animatedly )
312
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:23,928
( Speaking in falsetto )
313
00:14:25,848 --> 00:14:27,815
( Continues speaking
native language )
314
00:14:27,850 --> 00:14:28,882
( laughing )
315
00:14:28,918 --> 00:14:31,035
Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!
316
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,205
Ah! Ah!
317
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,476
Yeah? Yeah, yeah?
318
00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:41,462
( Still speaking
native language )
319
00:14:44,667 --> 00:14:50,238
( laughing )
320
00:14:50,273 --> 00:14:52,273
( Repeating punch line
in Latka's language )
321
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,432
( Repeating punch line )
322
00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:05,769
( Guffawing )
323
00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:06,904
Hey, Louie?
324
00:15:06,939 --> 00:15:08,172
What's so funny?
325
00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:10,908
( Repeating punch line )
326
00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:12,376
Oh?
327
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,928
What's the matter,
you heard it already?
328
00:15:16,215 --> 00:15:18,932
Would you like to
pay up right now, Bob?
329
00:15:18,968 --> 00:15:20,162
Hey, it's just the
beginning of the day.
330
00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:21,518
Give him time, Alex.
331
00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:22,954
He'll revert to form.
332
00:15:22,989 --> 00:15:24,572
No way, Bob, believe me.
333
00:15:24,607 --> 00:15:26,890
Just watch.
334
00:15:34,917 --> 00:15:37,751
Come to turn in
your bookings, Bob?
335
00:15:37,787 --> 00:15:40,854
Uh, uh, actually, I don't, I
don't have any bookings.
336
00:15:40,890 --> 00:15:42,122
Uh, you see...
337
00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:45,025
When I left the
garage this morning...
338
00:15:45,061 --> 00:15:46,627
Yes?
339
00:15:46,663 --> 00:15:50,031
Well, I had, I
had a little, uh...
340
00:15:50,066 --> 00:15:51,231
Yes?
341
00:15:51,267 --> 00:15:55,369
Well, in fact, it
wasn't all that little.
342
00:15:55,404 --> 00:15:59,640
Uh, I... I had
this really big...
343
00:15:59,675 --> 00:16:02,626
Yes?
344
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:06,130
In fact, "big" isn't
even the right word.
345
00:16:06,165 --> 00:16:07,465
"Total."
346
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,834
I-I have to say "total." I...
347
00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:12,703
What-what is it you're
trying to tell me, Bob?
348
00:16:14,423 --> 00:16:15,856
Louie, I had an accident.
349
00:16:22,132 --> 00:16:25,716
You had an ac-ac...
You had an acc...
350
00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:27,285
An accident?
351
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,388
Yeah... an accident.
352
00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:45,003
I'll be darned.
353
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:52,693
Well, I don't want
you to worry, Bob.
354
00:16:52,729 --> 00:16:57,665
Some careless drunk just rams
into your car, what can you do?
355
00:16:59,986 --> 00:17:04,021
Um... it wasn't
any careless drunk.
356
00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:05,756
See, it was my fault.
357
00:17:05,791 --> 00:17:08,726
I... I ran a stop sign.
358
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:14,315
You ran a stop sign?
359
00:17:14,350 --> 00:17:17,718
Yeah. You see,
uh... I couldn't see it.
360
00:17:17,754 --> 00:17:19,687
I forgot to turn
on my headlights.
361
00:17:19,722 --> 00:17:22,506
Oh... Excuse me.
362
00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:28,962
( Growling )
363
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,640
Oh, well, accidents happen.
364
00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:44,662
Sorry, Bob.
365
00:17:47,099 --> 00:17:48,265
You win, Alex.
366
00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:49,300
You-you win.
367
00:17:49,335 --> 00:17:50,768
I don't believe it. You...
368
00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:51,935
ALEX: I told you.
369
00:17:51,971 --> 00:17:53,281
BOB: Yeah, but
I don't believe it.
370
00:17:53,305 --> 00:17:55,172
I... I... Wow.
371
00:17:55,207 --> 00:17:56,607
What's that you're saying, Bob?
372
00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:59,509
Well, I got to hand
it to you, Louie.
373
00:17:59,545 --> 00:18:01,846
I didn't really think
you could change.
374
00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:03,114
I mean... but you did.
375
00:18:03,149 --> 00:18:05,382
I mean, I even bet Alex that
you couldn't be a nice guy
376
00:18:05,417 --> 00:18:06,550
for one whole day.
377
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:07,384
( Chuckling )
378
00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:10,771
Oh... Oh, I see.
379
00:18:10,807 --> 00:18:13,841
Then there wasn't
any accident after all.
380
00:18:13,877 --> 00:18:16,844
( laughing )
381
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:18,278
Yeah, that's right.
382
00:18:18,314 --> 00:18:19,314
( laughing harder )
383
00:18:28,591 --> 00:18:30,624
You were just testing me.
384
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,532
Playing a little game with me.
385
00:18:38,567 --> 00:18:39,600
Yeah.
386
00:18:40,769 --> 00:18:42,503
You were testing me
387
00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:46,290
to see if I could break
my pact with God.
388
00:18:46,325 --> 00:18:47,658
Ye-Yeah, I-I guess so.
389
00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:48,826
I guess it was like that,
390
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:50,628
but, uh, man, you
wouldn't crack.
391
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:54,531
You're great. I... Well... Alex?
392
00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:05,320
10, 20... 40, 50, 60, 70...
393
00:19:05,461 --> 00:19:09,830
80, 90... 5... 6...
394
00:19:09,865 --> 00:19:11,499
Louie, what, what are you doing?
395
00:19:11,534 --> 00:19:13,279
Louie, what are you...
Louie, what are you...
396
00:19:13,303 --> 00:19:14,663
Louie, what the
heck are you doing?!
397
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:15,986
Stop it now!
398
00:19:16,021 --> 00:19:17,421
Stop it right now!
399
00:19:17,456 --> 00:19:18,422
Louie!
400
00:19:18,457 --> 00:19:21,692
Louie, what are you doing?
401
00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:23,327
You scum!
402
00:19:23,363 --> 00:19:26,296
You lowlife!
403
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:28,749
You cretin!
404
00:19:28,785 --> 00:19:32,719
I'm going to make you
regret the day you were born!
405
00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:35,189
I'm gonna make
sure that every night
406
00:19:35,224 --> 00:19:37,090
you get the dirtiest
407
00:19:37,126 --> 00:19:39,493
smelliest cab in the garage,
408
00:19:39,529 --> 00:19:42,529
and if there isn't one
that's dirty and smelly,
409
00:19:42,564 --> 00:19:46,733
then I'm gonna get in and
smelly and dirty it up myself.
410
00:19:48,137 --> 00:19:52,005
In the wintertime, your
cab will have no heater.
411
00:19:52,041 --> 00:19:55,909
In the summertime, your
windows won't roll down.
412
00:19:55,945 --> 00:20:00,615
I'm gonna make you the
second most miserable cab driver
413
00:20:00,650 --> 00:20:02,633
in all of New York City.
414
00:20:05,087 --> 00:20:09,022
The most miserable cab
driver in all of New York City
415
00:20:09,057 --> 00:20:12,809
is whoever lets him
down or feeds him.
416
00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:20,884
Looks like you won the bet, Bob.
417
00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:24,321
What are you doing?
418
00:20:24,356 --> 00:20:25,322
Alex.
419
00:20:25,357 --> 00:20:26,524
Hey, come on.
420
00:20:40,789 --> 00:20:41,855
Hi, Louie.
421
00:20:45,178 --> 00:20:46,543
You believe in hell, Alex?
422
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:47,678
Believe in it?
423
00:20:47,714 --> 00:20:49,046
I work there.
424
00:20:51,651 --> 00:20:53,551
I broke a promise, Alex.
425
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,586
And I don't mean
I broke a promise
426
00:20:55,622 --> 00:20:57,355
to some clown like yourself.
427
00:20:58,524 --> 00:21:00,541
I broke a promise with Him.
428
00:21:00,576 --> 00:21:03,043
I don't do nothing
halfway, do I?
429
00:21:03,078 --> 00:21:04,911
Oh, come on, Louie.
430
00:21:04,947 --> 00:21:06,291
Will you stop being
so hard on yourself?
431
00:21:06,315 --> 00:21:07,714
Anybody could see you tried.
432
00:21:07,749 --> 00:21:09,115
Now, come on,
it's time to go home.
433
00:21:09,151 --> 00:21:10,784
I ain't leaving here, Alex.
434
00:21:10,820 --> 00:21:12,786
Why not?
435
00:21:12,822 --> 00:21:16,056
'Cause God's
waiting for me outside.
436
00:21:16,091 --> 00:21:17,658
He's rolled up His sleeves.
437
00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:20,160
He's got His brass knuckles on.
438
00:21:20,195 --> 00:21:21,762
He's getting ready for me.
439
00:21:21,797 --> 00:21:23,697
Come on, Louie, I didn't
see anybody outside.
440
00:21:23,733 --> 00:21:24,698
Let's go home, huh?
441
00:21:24,734 --> 00:21:26,334
It's no use, Alex.
442
00:21:28,838 --> 00:21:31,539
I committed the
biggest sin in the book.
443
00:21:31,574 --> 00:21:34,308
I welshed on God.
444
00:21:36,045 --> 00:21:37,812
You know, Louie...
445
00:21:37,847 --> 00:21:42,299
I don't think you really did.
446
00:21:42,335 --> 00:21:43,500
What are you talking about?
447
00:21:43,535 --> 00:21:45,102
You heard the
promise I made to Him.
448
00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:46,281
Yeah, that's just what I mean.
449
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:48,638
I mean, do you remember
the exact words you said?
450
00:21:48,674 --> 00:21:50,240
I mean, what
exactly did you say?
451
00:21:50,276 --> 00:21:53,343
I promised I'd be a good person.
452
00:21:53,379 --> 00:21:57,347
No. I think your
exact words were
453
00:21:57,383 --> 00:22:00,567
"I'm going to be the best
person I can possibly be."
454
00:22:00,603 --> 00:22:02,335
So what?
455
00:22:02,371 --> 00:22:06,740
Well, Louie, maybe the best
person that you can possibly be
456
00:22:06,776 --> 00:22:08,943
is a rat.
457
00:22:13,065 --> 00:22:15,132
What are you talking about?
458
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:18,302
Well, you can't be
something you're not.
459
00:22:18,338 --> 00:22:20,438
I mean God made
you what you are.
460
00:22:20,473 --> 00:22:23,006
And if God made
you the way you are,
461
00:22:23,042 --> 00:22:25,008
then He must have had a reason.
462
00:22:26,512 --> 00:22:29,630
But we can be sure that
just as He had a reason
463
00:22:29,665 --> 00:22:32,549
for creating snakes
and lice and vermin...
464
00:22:34,703 --> 00:22:38,288
He had a reason
for creating you, too.
465
00:22:41,744 --> 00:22:43,944
That's a beautiful
thought, Alex.
466
00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:46,480
Yeah.
467
00:22:46,515 --> 00:22:48,916
You... you really think
468
00:22:48,951 --> 00:22:51,719
He could forgive
me for what I did?
469
00:22:51,754 --> 00:22:54,221
Well, I-I think you
got a good shot, Louie.
470
00:22:54,256 --> 00:22:55,823
And you really think
471
00:22:55,858 --> 00:23:00,393
that He understands
me being the way I am:
472
00:23:00,429 --> 00:23:04,164
Mean and nasty and rotten...
473
00:23:04,199 --> 00:23:07,834
and that... in some way,
474
00:23:07,869 --> 00:23:11,505
maybe it's part of
His scheme of things?
475
00:23:11,540 --> 00:23:14,441
Yeah, I think so.
476
00:23:18,647 --> 00:23:20,313
Thank you, Alex.
477
00:23:22,819 --> 00:23:24,351
Excuse me.
478
00:23:24,386 --> 00:23:26,187
Where are you going?
479
00:23:28,641 --> 00:23:30,423
Back to the garage
480
00:23:30,459 --> 00:23:35,963
so that I may continue
fulfilling His divine purpose.
481
00:23:37,199 --> 00:23:38,699
Hmm...
482
00:23:45,391 --> 00:23:46,391
( coins clinking )
483
00:23:57,936 --> 00:24:00,671
( Theme music playing )
484
00:24:24,947 --> 00:24:26,814
WOMAN: Good night, Mr. Walters.
485
00:24:26,849 --> 00:24:27,849
( Walters grunts )33184
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