All language subtitles for Se til venstre, der er en Svensker (2003).EN

I'll tell it like it is. I'm marrying
Jonas in two days, -

and you can't come.
You're just too sick.

Are the nurses OK?

Good thing they got rid of that
powder witch huh?

We didn't like her.

Mette.
You remember Jonas right?

Jonas, I told you about him.
My boyfriend.

He's asked me now, or he...

We've quite simply decided...

It's noisy. I'll go see what it is.

Hi. My name's Katrine.
I'm Mette Bach Hansen's little sister.

I was going to ask if you could
give Mette a message for me?

It's like this, I'm getting married
with Jonas on Saturday.

- Congratulations.
- Thanks.

- How funny.
- But Mette is too sick to make it.

But why don't you tell her that
you're getting married yourself?

It's hard to tell how happy
you are to someone -

who's completely broken down
after being deserted.

Her boyfriend left two years ago.

She's always been a bit different,
but then she went down with the flag.

- You want to know how I am?
- Yes.

I'm cleaning piss of the wall because
a patient thinks piss keeps the CIA away.

Now I'm going to change sheets in ward 12,
they get diarrhoea from the psychoactive drugs

Let's just say that you tell your sister
that you're getting married yourself.

- Yes, of course.
- Good. That's the easiest, right?

Good.

Well...

Jonas and I have decided to...

... give you a new walkman.

Kiss my ass, Ingeborg.

My name's Katrine, and we've never
known anybody named Ingeborg.

- Kiss my ass, Ingeborg.
- Very well then.

I'll drop by in a couple of days.
Is there anything you want?

Yes.

- Bye.
- Bye.

I went across sea and land,
there I met a stranger

He said so he asked, where
might you be from

he said that if you answer me
I'll show you a game

the game that leads to the
nooks and corners of the heart

but I couldn't remember
where I was from

and the next morning
he was gone again

he was gone again

- Did you tell her?
- Yes, it's alright.

Good.

There's sites on the net for guys who
only gets turned on by sex with brides.

How often do you get the chance
to sleep with a brice?

- He could get married, Ulla.
- He can't do that all the time.

- Can't you put it out?
- Yes ok

You can't do that all the time.

And how many brides wants to be un-
faithful to their man on the wedding day

Remember to get something borrowed, something
blue, something old and something new.

- You got do.
- Yes.

There's a site for people that gets turned on
by partners who's amputated something.

Can't you put it out?

Now I got a guilty conscience for what
I said about my mother in law. She's sweet.

But if she says another thing -

about table cards or table decorations,
I'll scream.

I've moved uncle Einar. We never
know if he shows up.

Into a corner with him. Other than
that the plan is solid.

There won't be any violets, but flowers
that are similiar. They won't smell...

Mom, take the rest of the day off now.

Katrine, can't you write the table cards -

with the pretty and exciting
writing you know?

- Like convoluted?
- I'll bring the cards over tomorrow.

Everything's great mom.

- Good bye.
- See you tomorrow.

- Mom, how did you actually get...
- I drove the car after all.

I just found this. It's been sent
to your old address, -

and then it got sent here, and it's
been laying around here for a few days.

- He'll be back.
- Oh? That's nice, right?

It's Jonas.
Yes... it's a swede.

- Look at the red one. I want that.
- Vilfort and John Faxe.

- Hi.
- It's Katrine. Hi.

- It's Thomsen.
- It's Thomsen?

- Hi... hi.
- Hi, hi.

- Where are you calling from?
- Come on.

Copenhagen?
You're in Copenhagen?

I'm not quite sure where in Copenhagen.
I'll ring this door bell and check...

Hi... cellphone.
Never had that before. Really amazing.

Hi, Katrine.
It's so nice to see you.

- Thomsen, god damn.
- Here. Instead of flowers.

Oh, OK, Vodka.

- You look great.
- Thanks. I'm getting married.

- You're getting married? No.
- Yes. In the church 11 o'clock in two days

- Feel free to show up.
- In the church. How fun. Really fun.

- It's not just fun. It's serious.
- It's just not like you.

Jonas, the guy I'm marrying.
This is Thomsen from the old days.

He looks nice enough. And if you're not,
you'll have to deal with me.

- I'm nice.
- I'm just telling it like it is.

Hey, hey. You don't say.

- How's Mette doing?
- Mette's fine.

Mette is feeling a lot better.
She's at Bispebjerg now.

- In psychiatric?
- Yes. They've got some really good doctors.

I think it's... It's Mette's old boyfriend.
Thomsen.

Yes, it's me.

- He's been gone now.
- In Africa. In Kenya for two years.

Oh, why? Africa...

I just thought it was funny.

I can make you some african food,
if you want.

- You've brought food?
- African food. Do you have a kitchen?

- Yes, upstairs.
- Darling...

Mette.

Mette.

I don't have time. I'm waiting
for a very important call.

Great. But the others are complaining
about that they can't use the phone.

It's not a life or death question if
the others calls, is it?

You have to go into the room if you
won't let them get through.

Maybe I should put on some makeup.

The thing about looks not being a big deal
is rubbish.

Yes, of course it is.
But let the others through now, OK?

Yes, yes

Oh, this will be delicious.

It will be really delicious.

There you go.

You do know that you got
the best one, Jonas?

You've been lucky, won the top prize,
your ship's come in.

Bang!

You might think it's a bit burnt, -

but that's just the way it's
supposed to be.

It's like it's lacking...

Sorry... pizza?

Yes, wouldn't it be nice with
some pizza?

Damn it. I promise you,
it could taste really delicious.

God damn, it tastes disgusting.

Cheers to the Kenyan kitchen.
Bottom's up.

- I'm not sure if you should have any more.
- No, but I will.

- You know how it goes.
- How's it going?

Well, thanks. Very good.

- Cheers.
- Yes alright, cheers.

- Are you OK?
- Yes, I'm OK.

- I told you Jonas.
- I'm alright.

We won't have any problems, right?

I think I'll go upstairs and go to bed.

We're not the type that just runs off
to Africa, are we?

I'll go upstairs and say the party's over.

No, I don't want to!

So bad...

They were great, or what?

Isn't it great to be together with
this many lovely ladies?

You've been surrounded by pretty
African women.

Those butts are incredible, right?

You're completely fixated...
I don't want to talk about it.

- How many?
- Stop it.

Two-three at the most... villages.

At the most.

- Good thing you watched out then.
- Yea, you never know.

- You have to take a hiv ohoy test.
- I have taken one.

Now in return, I think I had to be the girl
that said good night.

No.

I've actually got a bottle of gin.
Should we open it?

One more time.

Hi. I suddenly just fell asleep
on the couch.

- No, I've got such a bad breath.
- Seems I have too.

I'm heading out to Br�ndsalen
to take care of the final stuff.

I'm not allowed to be here after all.

Katja is bringing the dress you know.
The one the groom can't see.

- It's 3 o'clock right?
- Yes. And I'm sleeping at Jesper's place.

Why?

The groom and bride can't sleep
together the night before the wedding.

- Thomsen is moving along too? - He's just
going to leave, that's what he's doing.

But don't send him on his way without
breakfast. We don't do that.

- You're sweet.
- You are too.

Hi.

- It's Katrine.
- It's Mette.

You know, I know that Thomsen's in
Denmark, but he hasn't called yet.

And I was wondering if he's
called you?

No, but he'll call you if he's
in the country I guess.

La la la la l'amour

comme ci comme ca
la la la mon amour

la la la mon amour
la la la la la mon amour

bla bla bla bla bla

bla bla bla bla bla bla

bla bla bla bla
bla bla bla bla

la la la mon amour

comme ci comme ca
la la la mon amour

la la la mon amour

petit four
mon amour

toujours toujours la la la

la la la la la la
mon amour

la la la mon amour
la la la la la la

mon amour

bla bla bla bla
bla bla.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

You want any breakfast?
Coffee? We'll throw up then. Treo?

- Katrine...
- Double?

Mette just called. It might be wise
of you to call her.

Yes.

Katrine...
I'd like to talk to you.

Yes.

Hey... sit down.

- Should I sit down?
- Yes.

Where on earth should I start?

When I left to Kenya...

I thought a lot about what
happened with me and Mette.

And other stuff...

That I left so suddenly.
I was thinking if you...

That you also had a few thoughts
about what happened.

Not right now, OK?
I'm getting married tomorrow.

I've got three billion things I have
to take care of before that. Here's a list.

You got to call Mette and your doctor.
There's a frying pan we gotta take a look at.

And I have to be really surprised
when the girls come with the dress.

We're going to Str�get and a karaoke bar.
I'm being made a fool.

Should we start with your doctor?

Hi, my name's Niklas Thomasson.

I've taken one of those hiv tests.

Now I'd like to know the results, -

I'm quite curious.

I'm being put through. I can't do it
when you're sitting there.

You should have called on Monday.

Yes, I know, but time flies.

We'd like you to come and take a new test.

- Why?
- When can you come?

- I don't understand why.
- I'd like you to come here.

I can't.
I'm on my way to Kenya.

The plane leaves in 20 minutes.
I don't understand...

The first test is positive, but
we always take second one.

Therefore we'd like to ask you
to come here...

It goes off.
I thought I had broken it.

How nice.

Look, it's just as new.
Almost.

- You're alright.
- I am?

Bloody hell!

I didn't think it was anything,
but that felt fucking good.

No!

I've got the best thing in the world
which I haven't showed you.

- What is it?
- You'll see.

This, Katrine Bach Hansen,
is a Fiat 128.

With a monster engine.
Isn't it nice?

- It's a former rally car.
- Is it true?

Yes, the seller said so. It's so nice
to sit in because it's so small.

It doesn't look very big, but I think
it's really nice.

You gotta come for a ride.
We're gonna take it for a spin right?

Listen.
Thomsen, I...

Hi, would you like to buy a dog?
Would you like to buy a dog?

Hello. It's 250kr.
It's a pedigree dog.

- No, we don't want any dog.
- OK, let's say 200 then.

- We don't want any dog.
- It's a very rare pedigree.

- Yes...
- Let's say 175. Hello.

- We don't need a dog.
- Hello... it's house trained.

- I'd love to believe that, but we...
- I'll take it.

- Great.
- Thomsen?

I'll go and get them exchanged,
and I'll come back with 25.

- Yes, I'm sure.
- Thomsen!

- You don't what it's name is.
- We'll name it after the car.

Fiat 128.
That's a good name.

- Hi. Hi, Katrine.
- Hi there.

- Here's the table cards.
- Really great. The table cards.

There's a caligraphic pen there
as well.

I'm going, I'm going to talk with the
cellist about the repertory.

- I'll do that.
- Then I'll fix the table cards.

It's somebody I know, and that's his dog,
and they're so...

And I'll be back to pick up
the table cards.

No, I'll get them in the church. We'll place
them while you're at the photographer.

We'll do that.
Bye.

- Come, we're driving now.
- What? Bye.

- Where are we going? - We're going
to take care of that thing with the wedding.

The wedding is under control.

No, there's something new, something old,
something blue and something borrowed.

And I don't give a shit really.

Super old, we've got that.
Fiat 128 isn't exactly young.

- What sort of pills are these?
- African sleeping pills.

They can take down an elephant.

If I had that hiv piss, I'd fucking
taken them all.

I gotta be home by 3 o'clock. That's when
the girls are bringing the dress.

But what about me?

What am I going to wear at your wedding?
I don't know that.

Thomsen, you're sick.

Thomsen... you're sick.

- Wow.
- Cool, huh?

We need something blue.
Do you have any good blue things?

- A good blue thing?
- It has to be a super blue thing.

Yes... Some new dutch pills have arrived.

They're called Super Blue.

Super Blue? Where can you get those?

- You can buy them from me.
- OK.

- You don't believe that it's dope?
- Yes I do.

You don't believe... honestly!

You've bought breath mints
from some guy for 600kr.

- You swedes are so easy to fool.
- But it doesn't taste like Vicks blue.

- It doesn't.
- At least it's not drugs.

Listen here. Should we shout something
funny when she opens up?

Something funny. We'll yell congratulations.

- Congratulations!
- OK.

OK? Congratulations!

- Try knocking.
- Yes.

- She's not there.
- Of course she's there.

She'll be right out.

- How about drinking some champagne?
- No, we'll wait for Katrine of course.

Has she been granted leave in order
to come to the wedding?

No, she's sick.

No. If you're going to drink champagne
og dance walz -

while's she at the clinic and
can't join?

No, I haven't said that. I didn't
want here to sit and...

I haven't said that I'm getting
married, it would be so weird to...

Of course you have to tell Mette.
She's your only sister.

God damn, you have to tell...
Don't hurt her? Stop it!

You have to tell her sooner or later, and it's
better if you do it before you get married.

- I'll do it afterwards.
- But... That's not like you.

You're cowardly. You're a chicken.

Listen. You just leave her without
blinking your eyes. For two years.

It's a bit late to come here and
feel sorry for Mette.

- I've sent a post card at least.
- You have? How nice.

You haven't called her yet, have you?

I will.

You like that dog, huh?

At least now we know we haven't
taken any drugs.

No, we haven't taken drugs.
Then she'll see...

I can imagine that I took drugs
the day before my wedding.

And I come home to Katja and the girls
are completely dingy in their heads.

Imagine if there were any pills
that lasted a whole day.

Then you'd miss the whole shit,
or come stoned to church.

- Hi.
- Hi Jesper.

Idiot.

Oh, there he is boys.

For example I'll say:
I've never been to Ibiza.

- I never go anywhere.
- But you have, Ulla.

You're supposed to take down a finger.

The point is to get everybody
else's fingers away.

OK. I'll start.

- I've never...
- And you have to be honest.

OK...
Quiet then.

I've never been fucked in the ass.

- Katja, no!
- Yes, and I didn't care for it.

OK. I've never had a cat.

Sorry.

- I've never had a cat.
- Have you had a cat?

But you have, Miller.

You gotta be careful with the floor.
It stains.

Be quiet about that crap.
It's a bachelor party.

We'll put the beers here, mix them,
close the eyes and take one each.

Close your eyes now. OK?
Yea, and reach out now.

And up on the heads with them,
then we count.

One, two go!

God damn! That's what I fucking
call humour, Jonas.

Did you know if you measure a
woman's mouth, -

you get the size of their pussy.
It's true.

- But Carsten.
- So always go for the pouty lips.

Julia Roberts for instance.
Mega disappointment.

Pouty lips!

Come. You're welcome. Hi.

Habari za usu ... usiko,
zuri dukolak lako ... zuri sana.

What do you say! It's swahili!

- I'm from San Francisco.
- Alright. San Francisco.

I thought you were from Kenya,
I've been in Nairobi for two years.

Everybody there looks like you.

Thomsen...

You can't speak English, you can't
speak neither Danish nor Swahili.

And then he can't cook either!

- I burnt some peanut steaks.
- Do you want the hair fixed?

Yes, it's very important.

This woman wants an extremely fabulous,
super new hair cut.

When you blow a guy, -

and it's been a while since he
slept with somebody or jerked off, -

let's just say three weeks ago...

I don't know him.
Where does he live?

I just want to know, is it
old sperm you swallow?

Does the sperm lay in there in the balls
and make themselves comfy for three weeks?

I don't do blowjobs.

Imagine all the places a normal
guy has been. Yuck!

If only the sperm is healthy,
then up in the ass with it...

- Ow, ow!
- Sit still!

- Snotty?
- Yes. Muscular atrophy is dangerous too.

- It's ringing.
- It's mine.

Katrine's telephone, you're
talking to Thomsen.

Katrine!

Mette.

What's up?

What?

The emotions are there. Just the emotions
that are supposed to be there.

It's just... there's something wrong
with the distribution.

Mette, take your pills,
and you'll feel better.

Then the hate and envy piles up,
far away in the corner.

There's someone who loves the
same one, or...

There's someone who's in love
with the wrong person.

And it's mostly because -

that the one that they
should love -

that goes around and is all alone.

And it's a question about understanding that.

It's just a question about understanding that.

There's not much...
There's not much to say to that.

- Is it?
- No.

So...

- Aren't you taking your pills?
- No.

Did you speak with your sister?

Yes.

Did she tell you about the wedding?

She's getting married tomorrow with..
With somebody...

Jonathan.

Or Johan, John...

Jonas!

In the St. Markus church.

I've had it.

It's like it doesn't work anymore, huh?

I know it's bad timing, and that you're
getting married tomorrow, -

but there's something I've
got to tell you.

No, there's something I've
got to tell you.

You're sick.

Thomsen, I'm so sorry.

OK, we'll pay now.

OK, it'll be...

It'll be... 850kr.

- You don't like the hair?
- Sorry.

- The hair's nice.
- Sorry.

You're not happy.
Let's make it 800 then.

- Is everybody happy?
- No, no.

- But look at your girlfriend.
- She's not my girlfriend.

She's not my type.

Come, Fiat. Come.

The hair's very nice.

Do you know why the
doors are locked?

The doors are locked so you
won't get out. Strange, huh?

That's why you'll open up, Hanne.

As long as the doctors believe that you're
a threat to yourself, you're not coming out.

Now I'll tell you this for the last time.
I'm not a danger to myself.

What? There's somebody out there
who's a danger to themselves.

- Calm down, Jonas!
- You've got him under check?

Let's go out and see if there's any
guys that gets turned on by brides.

- Thanks, thanks, thanks thanks!
- Hi!

- I'm getting married!
- Get him into the car.

Take this.

- What are you doing?
- It's Katja and those people.

You almost ran over Katja
and those people.

Phew.

Aren't you coming upstairs?

Hello, what do you want?

Well what are you doing then?

- Hello.
- I think I'll head out to Mette.

- What?
- Mette... you know, Mette.

A couple of years older than you. Your sister.
She's locked into the psychiatric ward.

I can tell her that you're getting married.
Then you won't have to.

She'll understand that she's not invited.
She's gotta realize that.

That it's a nice wedding. You can't have
sick and weird people there.

Go now, you fucking coward.

- Go out. Get lost. Out of my car.
- Don't call me a fucking coward.

- Go to your nice home. Chicken.
- Don't call me chicken.

I call you whatever I want.
Get lost now.

- I'm staying here.
- Get out of the car I'm telling you. Get out!

Don't hit me.

- Get out of my car.
- Fucking stop it!

It might be true that I don't treat
Mette the way you think I should, -

but it's fucking better than your crap!

I'm sorry if I'm a chicken.

But what's so courageous about running
off to Africa? I can't understand that.

You flirt with the girlfriend's sister and
leave for Nairobi without saying a word

Boil a few eggs and fuck a lot and
can't take the time to call home.

God damn you're so rotten!
That's fucking courageous!

Don't you understand that somebody
got hurt, huh?

Don't you understand how hurt I was?

I haven't given you hiv. It's not my
fault that you can't have kids.

It's not my fault that the next time
you leave it'll be forever.

Because then you're fucking dead.
It's not my fault.

Sorry.

- Hi, Mette.
- I know that Thomsen is sitting there.

I got to talk with you.
That's it!

You're a danger to yourselves.

Mette, we can't.
No, no.

Mette, we can't come out to you now.
It's way too late.

- Don't say kiss my ass, Ingeborg.
- Kiss my ass, Ingeborg.

She always hangs up.

Let's go out to Mette, and
I'll tell her about the wedding.

And if she wants to come, we'll just
borrow her. Then we have everything.

Blue, borrowed, old and new.

Ow, ow, ow...

- Hold my hand.
- Ow, ow. Here it comes. Yes.

- Ow... ow, god damn.
- Here comes the head.

- Now...
- Oh, how cute it is.

Oh no, it turned yellow.

Stop that crap, Jesper.
Come one!

OK!

Sorry, but we're here as well,
and Katja is dangerous tonight.

- It's a small town, huh?
- And now Jonas will see the bridal dress!

So?
Does the dress turn you on boys?

Fucking nice! Bachelor party!
Full throttle!

- Where's Katrine?
- That's a very good question.

Come.

I've never been here outside the
visiting hours. How do we get in?

We'll think of something.
Just do as I say.

Where is it?

- Hi.
- Hi, now it's happened again.

Psychiatric ward is not here.
Go down and talk to the guard.

Hell no. It's the fourth time my
girlfriend has run away from here now.

I don't understand Norwegian, can't you...?

I speak Swedish and not Norwegian,
for fucks sake. Are you stupid?

This is my girlfriend. She's your patient.

She's run away from here four times.

I'm a medical student and sit all alone
inside there in the hall way.

Alright, get her to calm down a bit,
and we'll contact the guard.

But you take care of her.

There's a few chairs down the hall.

I'll call for the guard,
and we'll take care of this.

Stay seated out there. Hi...

- I want your keys.
- Sit out there and wait.

I want your keys. Sit down.
I need your keys.

You won't get my keys. I can't
give away my keys.

- We just want the keys.
- You can't get them. That's final.

Can't you tell him?
You can't.

I've got a very contagious disease,
and I'll bite you...

He's got a very contagious disease and
will bite if you don't give him the keys.

Give me the god damn keys!
Give them to me!

Fine, take them.
I'm giving them to you, fucking hell!

- Take the keys and get him out of here.
- I've gotten the keys.

- Which one is the main key?
- The blue one.

We're only gonna borrow one. Sorry.

Alright, Thomsen, let's take it
easy, huh?

I should take it easy?

How the hell should I take it easy?

Yes.

Thomsen. Hi.

Sorry.

Well, now I'm here.

Mette, it's like this, I'm getting
married tomorrow at 11 o'clock, -

with Jonas, my boyfriend.
I'd like you to come.

Shut up.

But if you'd like to come,
we've got to get you out quickly.

And then we'll mix it together
and the sisters one more time, -

and a swede that's gone, and a Jonas
in the church, and you can continue.

- And it can keep on going and going.
- I'd like you to come.

I think you should come too.

And you want to go to warm countries,
and you want to go to cold ones.

And you want to leave without saying a word.
Then you get drunk.

And it's probably a lot of fun, but
it's sad as well.

Because you can't get what you want
unless you ask for it.

- But I can't...
- We have to leave before they show up.

- What is it you have to do?
- We have to get out before they come.

What is it you have to do?
You're in such a fucking hurry.

I don't know. What do you say?

- You can have everything. Just point.
- Yes, I can get everything I point at.

All us happy, simple clear people
can do that.

It's you cripples that can't
get whatever you point at.

It's not like that. Don't you know
what I'm doing for you?

So, hey!
Stop that!

- What have I done wrong?
- Don't do it for my sake.

I haven't asked you to.
Mind your business! I don't want to!

- Mette!
- It was those two that broke in.

God evening. It's the police.
Which one of you is the crazy one?

She who's sitting on the bed. The other
ones wanted to contaminate and bite me.

We're calming down.
The party's over.

You'll come with me now.

And you... the keys! Give them to me.

Sit down in here.

Watch your head.
Sit all the way in.

There once was a girl that
asked everyone she met

have you seen a prince

riding by

she so wanted to have children

a boy and a girl

one day she met a dog
she asked

have you seen my prince

riding by

but it couldn't speak
and when the dog didn't answer

she went home again

she was so tired of living

she so wanted to have children

a boy and a girl

she so wanted to have children

a boy and a girl

she so wanted to have children

a boy and a girl

she so wanted to have children

a boy and a girl.

- Katrine?
- Hi. I'm in Bispebjerg.

OK, nice. In Bispebjerg? Yes.

If you catch a cab now,
I'll take care of the dress.

- What are you doing in Bispebjerg?
- Can we talk about it later?

Alright. Bye.

Fuck!

It's Katja.

Katrine is on her way.
Where' the bridal dress?

It's...

I've got it.

Good.
You'll bring it along, OK? So...

OK. Bye.

Jesper, we're...
I'm getting married.

- She'll be here in an hour.
- What? Yea, nice.

- Thanks for the bachelor party.
- It was a stupid bachelor party.

Bachelor parties shouldn't be nice.
It should... it should just be there.

Yea, it's only thing like that you do
for your best friend, right?

Yes. And you know what Jesper?
You're my best friend.

All the teasing about being gay,
you shouldn't take that seriously.

- Isn't that right?
- Yes.

What do you say?
Should we leave?

Can you pull down the zipper?

Yea, and then there's the pills. You had
euphoric drugs on you.

It was because we were going to find
some stuff to the wedding, me and Thomsen.

And it couldn't be blue enough,
and then...

They're super blue after all.
The pills are rather blue, right?

And..?

Then I was going to borrow something blue and
something borrowed, and then we were borrowing my sister.

There in the hospital, and then...
And then it didn't work out of course -

the way we wanted.
It's a lot -

because I can't say stuff properly,
and then...

He got sad...
Because I said something wrong.

I thought I were going to say
the right things.

But then...

Then it gets all... in my mouth,
and then...

What comes out is... a straight lie.

And it just happens.
And it shouldn't, right?

- No.
- No.

No, write that I'm a drug addict and that
I admit the thing about the pills.

- It will have legal consequences.
- Yes, I'm sure it will.

- Are you getting married in half an hour?
- Yes. Church weeding and everything.

- I'll drive you.
- OK.

I got married to a motorcycle officer
last month. That's good.

- Oh, how kind of you. Thanks.
- I'll find the dog and your stuff.

- What about Thomsen?
- He'll just have to show up a bit late.

- Oh my god, this is impossible.
- Relax.

We've got everything under control.
The bride is on her way.

Someone named Katja is standing out there
with the dress. Everything's under control.

You've given me Thomsen's cellphone.
Then you've given Thomsen mine.

And you've taken the pills, so now
I don't have something blue or borrowed.

Sorry.

- I'm just a bit nervous about...
- Isn't the cellphone blue?

Then you have something blue.

If we say you borrow it from Thomsen,
then you have something borrowed too.

- Right?
- Yes.

I'll go outside and look for her.

- What's up?
- Hi.

Can you hold my dog?
And the stuff.

Jesper, take this.
Dress on.

- When did you get a dog?
- Tonight. Its name's Fiat...

We haven't got time to hear about that now.
What about borrowed and blue...

- It's taken care of.
- What happened to your hair?

Oh, super new hair cut.

The table cards are in the blue bag,
and mother in law should have those.

- I'm keeping the dog myself.
- You're keeping the dog yourself?

Yes, it's old.
And it's blue. The cellphone is blue.

Come now, Jesper!

- Do I look like a bride?
- You're very pretty. Take the bouquet.

There. Come Jesper.

Then maybe we're ready soon?

She's made it pretty.

We're gathered here today...

Hi.

Hi.

- Are you alright?
- Yes.

Are you?

I don't know what I should do.

- Sing a song?
- Yes. After all, they love it when you sing.

Yes, I'm sure they do.

And I ask you, Katrine
Bach Hansen.

- Hello.
- Hi. I'm going to sing something.

- Now?
- Yes, it has to be now.

Unfortunately.

Do you want...

Do you want to be mine tonight

Do you want to give me a bit of your heart

Do you want...

Wait. Sorry...

I can never promise anything

just wish that you're mine

- Sorry.
- Maybe we can continue then?

And you're sure that it's not a
small SMS?

Then you I ask you, Katrine
Bach Hansen, -

do you take Jonas Kristofferen, standing by your side,
to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Will you love and honor him, and stay with him
in sickness and in health -

like a real wife should live with her husband,
to death do you part?

It was Thomsen who called
and sang a song.

- Jonas...
- Not now Katrine.

You're very cute.
I'm really fond of you.

I don't want to hurt you,
but I have to -

pull myself together and
tell it like it is.

Say it like it is, but we
love each other don't we?

- Don't we?
- Yes.

I can't marry you.

Come.

Just say yes, honey.

Jonas.
I'm still in love with Thomsen.

Sorry.

I love Thomsen.

Sorry.

Sorry... sorry.

Come, Fiat.

I'll say thanks for the coffee.
This national church...

Then the bride doesn't show up, then she shows up
with a dog and talks in the cellphone.

And then she leaves the altar.

Get out!

I'm sick of you. It's my national church.
Come. Up with your butts!

The next thing I know, the bridal couples
will e-mail each other. Yes? No?

I'm tired of being a circus clown,
tired of the internet and cellphones.

Go. Good day. I hope we never
see each other again. Bye!

I'm Denmark's biggest asshole,
do you know that?

Are you?

Jonas will be so disappointed.

Jonas, whom I love, will be disappointed.
And Mette.

Not me. But not me.

That's because I love you the most.
Then I can't be married to Jonas.

But yet I can't be one of those people that
gets drunk every day -

and doesn't have a place to live and travels
around the world and is shit faced...

I mean, I can't.

I'm scared.

Me too.

Me too.

But happy.

I'm very happy too.

I went across sea and land
I saw a woman and a man

they wandered blindly around
in the nooks and corners of the heart

there are those who can't see
how close love is

because they can't remember
what they want

but sometimes they still meet

and sometimes they go home together

they go home together

I went across sea and land
it was a woman and a man

and they went around happily
in the nooks and corners of the heart