All language subtitles for Come.Worry.With.Us.2013.1080p.WEBRip.x265-RARBG

(ORCHESTRA PLAYING)

* The hangman's got a hard-on

* The pretty minstrels sway

* The pundit reeks of coffin

* The banker rapes a maid

* We will not sing

* In your damn parade

(SINGING)

* We will not sing

* In your damn parade

* We will not sing

* In your damn parade

* We will not sing

* In your damn parade

* We will not sing

JESSICA MOSS:
They were really
serious people

that were taking
the world seriously.

When I heard that
they were thinking about
expanding their band

I jumped at the opportunity.

(VOCALIZING)

EFRIM MENUCK:
We made this decision

that we were going
to be a touring band.

We were going to be
able to throw our shit
on any stage anywhere

any day of the week
and at least win over

a handful of people
in the room.

* Some! Hearts! Are! True!

* Some! Hearts! Are! True!

Every song Mt. Zion
has ever played

has sort of had the same
basic theme to it.

That, you know, things
are bad now and they
have to get better,

which will get you heckled
at a lot of places

if you start
talking about that stuff.

But people are good
and together we can
do anything.

(CROWD CHEERING)

MENUCK: Merci. Merci. Merci.
Thank you.

(BABY GURGLING)

MOSS: Oh, there we go,
see that's good.
Let him hear it.

MOSS: We never considered
not touring with Ezra.

We were making a record.
We were going to tour
as much as we could.

I was worried but I felt
really confident as well.
I knew we could do it.

We toured through
North America and Europe.

He went from six months
to nine months
during that period.

I've put it in such
a safety deposit box

and put it so far out
in the back of my head.

It was incredibly difficult.

For both of us.

It was an incredibly
difficult experience.
It really was.

It was pretty lonely
and isolating

and there was not
very much sleep.

And I felt
so on the outside
of my band on that tour.

I felt like a burden.

(SINGING)

MENUCK: I just felt
guilt and inadequacy
on that tour,

on the parenting front.

I felt incapable
of doing more.

MOSS: We sort of got separated
into these traditional roles
very quickly.

All I knew how to do
was keep this baby happy.

Efrim needed to be out
in the world taking care
of everything else.

* I built myself a metal bird

* I fed my metal bird

MOSS: On the other hand,
you know, we did it.
We did it.

You know, I look at
the photos and it was
incredible what we did.

Ezra was learning
how to stand and walk

on the bus
while it was moving.

You want me
to write a dog?

You want me
to write a train?

I'm going to
write you a train.

Say, "Hi, camera."

MENUCK: If it weren't
for getting to know
Jessica's family,

I have no experience
with good familial
relationships.

Even though I loved Ezra
I didn't know how to
relate to him so much.

I think I was
emotionally absent
almost all of the time.

MOSS: We were both
very unprepared

for the enormity
of having an infant.

MENUCK: I didn't get
too freaked out when I was
broke before, you know?

Now I get super anxious.

Any touring musician,
your bank account
is going to go up

and they get drained
almost immediately.

Like anyone who's
doing contract work.

The expenses of touring for us
have gone through the roof.

It's a lot more expensive
for us to tour now.

We have to
bring a nanny,

we have to tour
in a tour bus,

which we never considered
doing before we had a kid.

I mean, you know,
those are huge expenses.

Most of my head now
is consumed with this idea
that I have to provide.

Daddy. Oh, Daddy.

(INAUDIBLE)

(EZRA TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
MOSS: Yeah. I'll bet.

EZRA: Go bye-bye.
Go bye-bye.

We've been together six
or seven years now.
Seven years almost.

This is the first time
where we're not doing
the same thing.

And it's Godspeed so there's
like, you know, thousands
of adoring fans every night.

And I'm getting up
and going to the
Y playgroup, you know?

Going to the cafe.
Yeah.

And this is my life
and I know it's not
forever but...

You're a wife.
So crazy.

Like, I'm at home.
But I feel like it's
going to go by...

I'm a stay-at-home mom.

You're a
stay-at-home-mom,
you really are.

If you look at it on paper,
Efrim's off working
and bringing home the bacon.

Mmm-hmm.

Jessica's at home
with the baby,
cooking and cleaning.

You want a book?
This one?
No.

This one?
No.

This one?

Yeah.
Yeah.

That.

That's water
you put on the tray.

That's water
you put on the tray.

That's water
in the book.

You're smart.

MOSS: This is a collage
I made for Efrim's record.

It's the first
artwork I've done
since Ezra was born.

I think we might
photograph it.

I just want to make sure
it doesn't look like ever
it was in Photoshop.

This record
that Efrim's making
is very personal

and I think it's
pretty incredible

that he's asked
for a painting of him
and Ezra on the cover.

I do too.
When I started to paint it,

I thought, "Okay,
I have to be prepared
that it might be...

"End up being too much..."

Right. For him.
Like he might...

Yeah, he told me
on the phone how much
he loves it.

Okay, good.

What do you see?

(BABY TALK)

NADIA MOSS:
He did something that he
artistically wanted to do

from something
he had in his heart.

Like a poetic response
to his son.

He has the time, I guess
and the luxury of making
like this beautiful...

And the support.

And the support to make
a piece of art

about his son
and fatherhood

and it's beautiful.

I mean, you get to
have a lot of things
but I don't...

You don't get to step back,
I guess, from the situation,

the parenting,
and like respond to it.

Don't you find that art
about motherhood is...

There's an aspect
of like... (SHUDDERS)

Yeah, I know.
Why?

...not interested.
I know.

Isn't that weird?

Still, to this day,
women's narratives

are not considered as
interesting and that's
just all there is to it

but I think maybe
there's something else.

Like there's
the time aspect.

Or that's what
I'm realizing...
But I think that's it.

...from watching you
is like...

There's the
time aspect.
It's the time.

I just wish that I
could be a father.

Like I don't think
I want to be a mom.

Nadia's going to
take you for a walk.
Mama.

It's cold out.
(CRYING)

Ezra, it's freezing out.

We're going for a walk.

MOSS: There's no question
in my mind that I wanted
and want to have kids.

NADIA: Mmm-hmm.
I've always known that.

MOSS: But as I got older
and as my life became
about being in a rock band

and being an artist
and being an
independent lady,

I stepped away
from wanting to have kids

as soon as I could
because I knew that
once I did,

it would mean...

That I would become
this mother.

There's this bizarre thing

that you become a mother
and you become like
kind of grotesque, you know?

Even though everyone
will say to you, "Oh, it's so
amazing what you're doing.

"It's so wonderful."
You know?

"Wow."

But at the same time
you feel this kind of
pulling away.

Like, holy shit,
where did everybody go?

Everything changed,
you know?

I started playing
when I was five

with the idea that it
could be something
serious in my life.

It was forced upon me
and now, of course,
I'm so grateful that it was.

(SINGING)

Growing up it feels
like anything is possible.

And the moment that you
become a mother it stops
feeling that way.

All of a sudden
we become less

even though in our
own tiny little world
we become huge

because we become
somebody's mother.

I want so much
to go back to what
I was doing.

MENUCK: In this one,
she's going like this...

(VOCALIZES)

In this one,
he's going like this...
(VOCALIZES LOUDER)

In this one,
she's going like this...
(VOCALIZES LOUDER)

In this one,
she's going like this...

(VOCALIZES LOUDER)

I wanna do it again.
All right.

MENUCK: I would give my right
arm to have like, you know,
six months at home.

In this one,
she's going like this...

MENUCK: The mother's job
is so much harder
than the father's job.

And the gender balance
gets totally knocked
on its ass.

You think you're doing
a good job with that stuff

and then you have
a kid and all of a sudden
you realize

that you're totally lame
with that stuff.

Look at that.
Look at the camera.

MENUCK: In Ezra's first year,

Godspeed started
rehearsing full time,
like a day job,

and it was reaching
this point where I felt
like the cliche.

I was coming home from
practices like, you know,

"I need a drink,"
and like practically
loosening my necktie

and then Jessica
had been with Ezra
the whole day and...

(BABY TALK)

We have to figure out
something else other than
me being on the road

and you being
at home, right?

I don't want that.

* Hearts! Are! True!

* Some! Hearts! Are! True!

* Some! Hearts!

DAVE PAYANT: I can think
of a couple of friends
of mine,

musicians who in the last
few years have had kids

and they don't do the
music so much anymore.

I think Efrim and Jessica
are showing that it's
possible, but I don't know

if their example
is enough to inspire
the courage for me to...

I don't know how...

Personally how I would fare
in the same situation.

* True!

* Some! Hearts! Are! True!

PAYANT: So as Ezra's
godfather, you are to be
his spiritual advisor?

Is that one of the, uh...
I don't really know.

What's the job description
of a godfather?

(WHISTLING)

THIERRY AMAR: I see it
as just someone
who's a protector

and someone
who's there for him.

And I think we're lucky
to be in a band

where most of us are
really close and we're
really good friends.

(SINGING)

MENUCK: Most bands don't
share anything equally.

You know,
once money comes in,

generally most of the
money goes to one
or two people in the band.

And that's a sure-fire way
to earn a living
in this business.

You know, if you take
more than your bandmates do

then you'll probably
be okay.

To me that's dishonest.

We're committed
to the idea of wealth
redistribution, you know?

The rich shouldn't be
so rich and the poor
shouldn't be so poor.

So why would we
replicate any of that
class system

in our own band
dynamic, right?

EZRA: Six! One, two,
three, four, six!

EZRA: One, two, three,

four, six!

SOPHIE TRUDEAU: We have
to make a little money but
we live pretty simple lives.

We're not extravagant

and success is being able
to do what you love doing

and not having
to compromise.

That I haven't had a job
for the past ten years

is pretty much
my success.

(BABY TALK)

MENUCK: The sides of the...

Have to keep the
workflow going.

They're labeled for...

PAYANT: You guys want to stack
these in order?

MENUCK: Why not just number
them after they're folded?

AMAR: We're like a
neighborhood grocery store.

We earn, you know, basically
a lower middle-class living

and I feel content
with that if it could last.

If we don't finish,
worst-case scenario

is we bring the box
on the bus and at
some point I'll finish it.

MENUCK: And this idea
that you could earn
a wealthy living

playing music
is a recent innovation.

For centuries, musicians
were the lowest rung
of the ladder.

We're like
the degenerates,

the people who like
played for pennies
in the town square.

We identify
with that tradition.

* Citizens in their homes

* Missiles in their holes

* Citizens in their homes

* They built themselves
a beauty by the ton *

MENUCK: I feel like
before that happened,

when I would look
at Mt. Zion I felt like

Mt. Zion was just
sort of an orphaned band.

We didn't feel much
in common with anything

contemporary,
but at the same time

we weren't playing
old-timey music either.

And playing with Vic sort
of opened up this idea
that "Fuck, no," you know,

like we're working
within a tradition.

MOSS: We write music
that's like harder than
what we can actually play.

We just end up making
these impossible songs

and then we sing them
even though we can't sing
very well.

I constantly feel like
my position as a musician
in the world is tenuous.

Like I constantly feel like
I'm going to turn the corner
and it will be gone.

Why is it that there
are so few women

in their mid-30s
and beyond in bands?

We're the veterans now.
I know.

It's like, who's...
We made it!

It's the golden years now!
(LAUGHS)

Or did we? I don't know,
you know? It's...

MOSS: Right now
I'm just thinking,

"Okay, what's going to go
in Ezra's suitcase?

"What's going to keep him
occupied when he's bugging
everybody else?"

Just thinking
about him constantly

and his well-being
and then how can I
keep him feeling great

so that everyone else
can feel great.

So I don't feel this guilt
and responsibility of...

The fact of him,
you know what I mean?

Fix it, Mommy.

No one would
ever say this to me,

but I do
sometimes question,

like wouldn't it be
easier for everybody
if I just quit, you know?

I feel that within me.

I don't feel that
from anybody else,
I feel that within me.

You can't even
think about it.

You can't tour
without your child.

And our husbands
would never be thinking

about what to put
in the arts and crafts
package for the bus.

And I think that's like
the heart of the matter.

It's like as a mother
you can't escape that.

NATALIA YANCHAK:
Now the band isn't my first
priority, I have this child.

My family is
my first priority.

MOSS: What if we break him?

I don't think we're
going to break him.

We might break him.
We might break him
a little bit.

We'll see what happens.
You know?

We'll see how it goes.

I think we both have
the feeling and Efrim

keeps reminding me of this
is that

it would be so much easier
not to do it, and...

But if we don't do
it then, you know...

We have to do it.
Like we just have to do it.

We have to try.

(CROWD CHEERING)

MENUCK: We are
the Silver Mt. Zion
Memorial Orchestra

from Montreal, Quebec.

(EZRA SPEAKING)

Yeah, it's morning time.

MOSS: To get to
the most places in
the least amount of time,

we're basically driving
for a week straight.

Not only drive at night
but we drive in the day too.

Half the band
just stays in bed, which
I totally understand.

(EZRA CRYING)

(INAUDIBLE)

MENUCK: The hours you keep
when you're on the road

are exactly the worst
hours to raise a kid.

When we have to drive
is the time when he should
not be cooped up in a van.

When we have
to go to work

is when we
should be with him

getting him ready
to go to bed.

I mean, it's all
topsy-turvy.

(EZRA SPEAKING)

So many buses,
so many buses.

So many buses,
so many buses.

AMBER: You wanna ride
for a bit, sweetheart?

You getting tired?

Okay, baby.

Everyone's okay?

They're treating
you well here?
They're treating you okay?

They're not ripping you off
on drinks or I don't know,

searching you
unnecessarily
or anything?

Does anyone else
have a question?

MAN: Play music!
You fuckin' play music.

What the fuck?
(CROWD LAUGHS)

Anyone else have
a question?

TRUDEAU: Last year
I was gone nine months,
you know?

Like just so much.

Having Tim on
the road makes it...

It's like,
"Oh, let's go on tour."

One, two.
Hey, one, two.

TRUDEAU: And who knows,
maybe I'll want to have
kids someday.

But Tim is not so excited
about touring with kids.

So we'd have
to figure it out.

MAN: Ezra!

MOSS: If you want
to run, sweetie,
you can run to me, okay? Run!

Oh!

Ha!

(EZRA SPEAKING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

MENUCK: No toys
for Christmas this year.

MOSS: Some beautiful art.

MENUCK: What shampoo
do I use?

I use your mother's shampoo.
She gave it to me personally.

If you come closer
I smell like your mother.

Anyone else have
a question?

MENUCK: When you earn most of
your living playing music
for drunk people,

where the bar's
in the room, it's not really
about you on any given night,

it's about a whole lot
of other things in the room,
you know?

As opposed to in a theater
where everyone's seated

and it's very hushed
and very quiet.

MENUCK: We're all stuck
with each other.

We all of us stink.
We all of us smell bad.

We all of us
make bad smells.

We all of us make
bad decisions.

We all of us say shitty things
to people we love
just because we feel hurt.

But we're stuck
with each other, yes?

MENUCK: There's nights where
we just lose them within
five minutes, you know?

An audience that
totally came there
to be, you know,

to watch the show
and be quiet

and some nights
we just lose them like that

and they just start
talking amongst themselves.

I think it's the healthiest
way for music to be
presented.

It's good to feel some
sort of resistance

when you're putting things
into this world, you know?

If there's no resistance
then it's a little too easy.

(SINGING)

MENUCK: Stop! Stop!

Come on back.
Come on back.

Just be gentle with
the seats and the stands,
don't break anything.

Everybody's gentle,
everything will be fine.

* Can't live on
their remainders

* They are burning
half the world *

(EZRA CRYING)

There's a hole here.

(CRIES)

You just got
scared?
Yeah.

So I guess we don't play
right around here, huh?

(CRYING)

I guess we don't play
right around here.

That's okay, we don't have
to play right here.

Fell down right
in there.

What happened?

I fell down
right in there.

You fell down
right in there.

Yeah.

Here, let's move
away from it

so we don't fall
down right in there
anymore, okay?

I wanna go away.
Come sweetie.

MOSS: Say it one
more time.
EZRA: Gap is mean.

I don't know
what that means.

MAN: He's saying the gap.
Oh, the gap.

You got stuck
in the gap.
Yeah, you did.

Oh.
Oh.

MOSS: It's easy to
withdraw back into,

"It's never going to work.
It can't work. It can't work."

Can you go
find me a snack?

Can you go with Amber
and find Mommy a snack?

I want a snack too!

You want a snack too?

Okay, here sweetie.
Here's Amber's hand.

She's going to find you
a snack okay?

(EZRA CRYING)

I want two snacks.
Yeah. Two snacks.

MOSS: How can it be possible
to be the kind of parent
that I want to be

and to be the kind
of person who can
continue to

make some kind of living
doing what I love.

Is it selfish?

Or is it the best thing
you can do for your kid

is showing them
that you're doing
what you love.

* And the day has come

* When we no longer feel

How's fatherhood?
It's difficult,
but it's great.

Thank you
for asking.

He's on tour with us.

He plays spittle mouth,
gurgle face.

He's pretty good
at all those things.

MOSS: So far, it's worth it.

As long as it's okay
with Ezra.

If it starts seeming
not okay with Ezra
then I'll have to rethink it.

MENUCK: I guess having
a child is the first thing
in my life that...

Other than having
a checking account,

that's easily relatable
to most people
in the world.

I had a weird upbringing.

Strange childhood,
strange adolescence,

difficult young adult,
you know,

incredibly poor
for a few years.

Being unemployed
and being homeless

and stealing food
to eat, you know?

Begging for change
on the street.

Like all that stuff,
you know?

So having a kid
makes it feel
less like a weirdo.

(PLAYING HARMONICA)

MENUCK: This song is
about throwing bricks
through windows.

And love.

Simultaneously.

It's called
Microphones in the Trees.

(CROWD CHEERS)

You ready for snack time?
I got us some strawberries.

Strawberries.

Strawberries.

(MENUCK SINGING)

(SINGING)

AMAR: It's easy sometimes
to lose perspective when
you're on tour, you know?

Just doesn't really
feel like real life
after a few weeks.

Ezra feels like real life.

He's super happy to be awake

at five in the morning

talking to me and I was like,

"Do you want to talk
to your parents?

"Are you worried?
Are you..."

He was totally
less worried than me
about anything, you know?

He was so...

"I in my bunk! Is bumpy!"

You know it's just like,
fuck this is great!

I can't believe
we're on the road

with this little
jiggly guy, you know?

What is that?

Like bench press?
Okay let's finish.
What do you think?

MOSS: Okay, I'm gonna go,
sweet pea.

I'm just going to go
do the loading out

and then I can
see you right after.

Okay?

Wanna go outside too.

You wanna go
outside too?

Sweetie, I know.
It's gonna be short,
I promise.

It won't be
hard today.
Want you.

I know baby.

(MURMURS)

Portland!
Sneakers!

MOSS: If I didn't take
some morning times

then Amber would
never get time off,

like on big driving days.

That job is incredibly hard

because you are
working all the time.
There are no days off.

There's your pinecone.

It's another gloomy
post-rock number.

MAN: Whoo! We like that.

MOSS: The roles that
we play in the band,
they're very different.

MENUCK: It's still totally
unequal on the road

and I think
it always will be.

MOSS: Like even...
Not even just morning times,
but just in general,

being on tour, like the bulk
of the parenting role
will fall on me.

...no secular rock.
(CROWD LAUGHS)

MOSS: Efrim has,
you know, a huge amount
of mental strain

to make the thing happen,
to make the show happen.

We're both working very hard
but in very different ways.

I joined the band.

You joined the band?

Jessica just quit.

(CROWD LAUGHING)

MOSS: But I think we are
learning a language
of how to make it feel

like we're walking arm in arm
as opposed to miles away
from each other.

* And the day has come

* When we no longer feel

* And the day has come

* When we no longer feel

* And the day has come

* When we no longer feel

* And the day has come

* When we no longer feel

* And the day has come

* When we no longer feel

(MAN SPEAKING)

Uh, because they're made out
of like very good material

so they won't fall apart.
It's the bare truth.

And they're environmentally
sound and they're made
in Canada.

We could've gotten
you a cheap Chinese
t-shirt but we didn't.

We're fairly ambivalent
about the whole t-shirt thing

but guess what?
None you all buy
records anymore, so...

WOMAN: I do!

I know some of you do.
Sorry none of you.

Most of you all don't
buy records anymore.

MAN 2: Can I
download a shirt?

You can download
the shirt, yeah.

(ALL LAUGHING)

MENUCK: Piracy.

I think the most
important records

that I ever heard
in my life were things

that I taped on cassette
from people who had more
money than me.

I think that's
a lovely thing.

How do you make a living
as an artist when everything
is on the Internet for free?

I have no problem with
people getting stuff for free.

It's just people
are getting rich

and it's not the people
that are actually providing
content for the Internet.

It's Apple
that's getting rich,

it's the telecom giants
who are getting rich,

it's Samsung that's
getting rich, it's...

It's everybody
but the people
who are making stuff.

Ten years ago we were
earning twice to three times
as much as we are right now.

People stopped
selling records

and all of a sudden everyone
decided to go on the road.

So there's a lot more
competition out there.

If you live in any
mid to large city

in North America
or Europe, it's a bounty.

You know, pretty much
every other night
of the week

there's an out-of-town band
coming through that you
could go see.

Because there's so
much competition now,

you're getting more
and more screwed
at the end of the night

because they can
get away with it, you know?

It's like you're not
a scarce resource anymore,

a band that
could fill that hole.

There are tons of bands
that could fill that hole.

It feels like the last days
of vaudeville out there.

One, two, check, one, two.

(PLAYING)

MENUCK: I'm super worried
all the time.

I mean, what else would I do?

My resume right now
would be as if I just
got out of prison.

(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)

It's right here.
We can get our
supper right here.

EZRA: What you talking about?
What you talking about?

MOSS: That's different than
being a destination
in Montreal...

What you talking about?

(PLAYING SAXOPHONE)

MOSS: I'm so proud
of my whole band for being
so great with him

and easy with him.

I feel so unbelievably
down-on-my-knees lucky

that I get to keep
doing what I'm doing.

(INAUDIBLE)

(LAUGHS)

I really don't know
if I can keep it going.

I want to have some
normalcy, you know?

Just a little something.
A little normalcy.

I'd love to
have children

but I don't think that's
going to happen for me

so I would love
to have a dog.

I can't even have
a dog right now.

Men are able to stick
with it for longer

because they're not
having the children.

And that's
what I've seen.

I've seen it all
across the board

when women,
at least in the music
that I'm playing,

start their families,
they have to take
a step back.

And the men go on tour,
they do all these things

and they can have,
you know, twelve kids

because they've got
their wife or girlfriend
or you know,

what have you,
the mother of their children

taking care of the basics.

And I do...
For what I do,
if I have children

I'd have to stop playing.

I would actually
have to get a job

because for what
I do I can barely
support myself.

Sometimes I look
at biographies of
famous opera singers

and all these...
I have always looked up
to women in rock

because they're more...

But you look at them
and you realize,

"Oh, she didn't have any
children, she didn't have a
family, she didn't have..."

I watched my mother raise,
try to raise three children
almost by herself

and so to see that
and go like, "Wow."

And she never
had the time to do
anything for herself

and yet was able
to be so selfless

and giving and that's
what mothers do

and I couldn't do that.

I just couldn't.
I don't have it in me

because the work
takes so much,

I give so much
to the work.

(LAUGHING)

MATANA ROBERTS: I know
what it feels like to
be loved by a mother

and it's so powerful.

Knowing what...
And understanding that not
all children get that.

(KISSING)

And I'm still
feeding off of that,

so many years, you know,
later so it's just...

I'm gonna cry now.
Yeah, I'm gonna cry, too.

Can we stop?
Yup.

Are you gonna have
a nice sleep?

Mmm-mmm.
Have a bad sleep.

You're gonna have
a bad sleep?
Yeah.

Don't tell me that.
Why are you gonna
have a bad sleep?

Because I think of things.

(BABY TALK)

Sweet pea, it's time
to lie down.

Okay?
(EZRA TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

Can you listen
to Daddy?

I a cat.

You're a cat?
Yeah.

What sound does
a cat make?

Meow meow!

That's right.

You a dog.
Woof.

Cats don't like
that sound.

Ezra's don't like
that sound either.

I a cat.

Up, down, up,
down, up, down!

Up, down, up, down,
but not up, down.

Down!

MENUCK: You have to be 1000%
on the side of humanity once
you have a kid.

You have to... You're like
rooting for the home team
like you never had before.

What you did.
I flopped you down
like you asked.

Which is a big adjustment.
That's a heavy adjustment.

For me that was
the harder thing

was having to, like, get rid
of a lot of my own cynicism,
you know?

You have to be like,
"No, things have to change,

"things have to get
better 'cause this little

"innocent creature has to
grow up into a world that's

"better than the one
he was born into."

All right, I'm gonna put
night lights on,
are you ready?

* Go forth, man

* Get down

* With a mighty fist
and a retarded crown

* Do the one-step,
the two-step

* Sweet jubilee

* And show me
the light, goddamn

* Tell me

* There is a light

* Tell me

* There is a light

Hi. Hi.

Got a balloon
in my bottom.

Hi.

Happy birthday, Thierry.

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday.
ALL: Happy birthday.

Happy birthday, Thierry.

Cheers.

I couldn't imagine
a better birthday

than to be here
with you guys.

You don't wanna
cheers that.

Sante.

One more cheers, buddy?

Thanks.

Yay! Cheers! Cheers!

Yeah.

Everybody in the bus!

Yeah.
That's right,
that never happens.

* Some! Hearts! Are! True!

* Some! Hearts! Are! True!

* Some! Hearts! Are! True!

* Some! Hearts! Are! True!

* Some! Hearts! Are! True!

* Some! Hearts! Are! True!

MOSS: I don't
want things to end.

You know, now I want to
bring Ezra everywhere and I
want to go on tour with him.

I just want to work.
I just want to do it.

I just want to do
it while we can

'cause who knows
how long we can do it.

MENUCK: Half my brain
now was occupied with
the hustle, you know?

I'm on the hustle
all the time.
I'm just always like,

"What's the next gig?"
You know, like,
"When's the next tour?"

Every other tour our booker
will come out and say,
you know,

"If you raised your ticket
price by three dollars

"you'd make this much more
on the tour," you know, and...

And we say,
"Yeah, we know."

It's obscene what people
charge for shows these days.

It's not right.

Especially when
people have to

work so hard for $50.

It's just...
It's never going
to be right.

MOSS: Okay.
EZRA: Caught a piggy.

I caught a piggy!

MOSS: Where's your band?

Oh, wait over there.

MOSS: Okay, go for it.
Caught a piggy.

Caught a piggy!
Caught a piggy!

(EZRA SPEAKING)

MOSS: I'm just
looking for the plug.

EZRA: What?
What are you looking for?

MOSS: I'm looking
for the plug.

EZRA: What are
you looking for?

MOSS: There used to
be a part of my life
where I did playing

with other people
and in other projects

and for other people's
records, and I

really haven't gotten
a phone call for that
since Ezra was born.

(PLAYING HARMONICAS)

NADIA: Ez, is that
my hair brush?
No.

Is it your hair brush?

It's...
It's boring.

It's boring?

Yeah.
Why is it boring?

MOSS: For Ezra I want
a sibling.

I do think about
that a lot.
Mmm-hmm.

I had a conversation
with Dave actually,

while we were on tour.

He sort of like, "Yeah,
I can imagine, there's Ezra
and there's another one."

He could actually... Yeah.
On tour?

I can imagine it too.

I kind of understand why you
want to prepare yourself for

having to not be able to
do it, but I also feel like

maybe you shouldn't.

You mean I should be
doing the opposite?

I think you should
be doing the opposite.

I can't imagine him
not having somebody

to make fun of his
parents with, you know?

Like it's such a crucial
aspect, you know?
Yeah.

MOSS: I'll blow
on it, okay?

Why you gonna
blow on that?

Why you gonna
blow on that?

'Cause it can help
make you feel better.

Ezra, here's some corn.

Hello!
Hello.

Thank you.
You're welcome.

Are we going eat two
cob on the corns?

Are we gonna eat two
corn on the cobs?
Yeah.

Well, first you're
gonna eat one,

and then you eat
the rest of your supper

and then you can
eat another one.

EZRA: Why?
MOSS: 'Cause
that's how it works.

(CLANKING)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

MOSS: There was a lot
of people on the street that

wouldn't normally
be on the street,

protesting for
the first time,

and that's a beautiful thing.

It's like a momentary glimpse
of what it could be like

when you can know
your neighbors,

when we all march together.

MENUCK: "We've been going
with Ezra to the park

"at the end of our street
at 8:00 p.m. every night.

"I guess there's gonna be
a whole generation of kids

"raised in this ridiculous,
neglected jewel of a town

"who'll have fuzzy memories
about the month they
got to go to the park

"that one summertime,

"when all the grownups
were making noise

"with pot lids and everyone
was serious,

"but everyone was smiling too.

"There's so many teary
moments in all of this.

"I'm crying all the time.
I'm smiling all the time.

"I know it's going to end.
I don't want it to end."

Whoo!

MOSS: I find inspiration

from activists,
from people who work

to challenge and change.

MENUCK: I actually think
I was a member of
the last generation

that was promised
a better future,

and I think successive
generations have been

promised the opposite of that.

(TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

MOSS: That last tour with
Ezra went like a million times

better and smoother

than I was worried it would,

and it made... Made the whole
thing seem more possible.

MENUCK: He's growing
so quickly that it's
different month by month.

He did great three
months ago.

I don't know how
he's going to do

four months from now.

But, for me, now that he's
an older kid, you know,

he's able to express himself

and say what he needs

and that's just going
to get more and better.

But that comes part
and parcel with he
has opinions too,

and he has fears,
that's the biggest
thing, you know?

You know?

He does talk a lot about
wanting to go on tour
right now, that's for sure.

Mmm-hmm.

He talks a lot about
wanting to go to the
doctor too, though.

If we have to figure
out how to do it
without him, then...

I mean, we're about to try.

And we're about
to try an eight night...

He'll be on his
own for eight nights.

Um, I feel like right
now that's definitely
the maximum

amount of days,
do you agree?

Yeah.

If we had to stop
touring with him,

but I don't want
to do that, so...

But at the same time
we can't afford
to tour with him.

It's a real reality,
you know.

We make a little
bit of money,
but not very much

because we have to pay
for the nanny and we
have to pay for the tour bus.

(SIGHS)

I mean, the tension
of all this is being
amplified 'cause there's

a microphone
and a camera in here.

Of course.

Of course.

Of course I want
to keep going.
I just like, you know...

It gets into bigger
issues, you know.

It just mostly gets
into issues like

how do we keep
getting by, you know?

And I feel like most
of that falls on me.

Most of that worry
falls on me.

But it definitely harshes
my mellow in terms of, like,

"Oh, that's great,
we did a tour with Ezra,
it worked out great,"

you know.

It's like, "Yeah,
it worked out great.

"We made a grand
and a half each, you know."

That's not...

That's not a viable plan
moving forward, you know.

Unless we allow
for the grants

that we didn't apply
for for ten years as
a band until we...

I don't want to...
I don't want to be...

I want to be a band that
pays its own way, you know?

I don't want to take
government money.

On top of that you can't
count on it, you know?

On top of that there
are bands who need it
more, you know?

Like who?

I don't know them,
that's why they need
it more, you know?

I don't think it's a role
of government to subsidize
a failing band, you know?

That's how I feel.
That's how I've
always felt.

I think it would be
suicide to keep doing
it as a full time thing.

'Cause even with
the grants it's not
enough money, you know?

So...

We're still the luckiest
band in the world.

I mean, we'll be fine.

(SIGHS)

There's a romantic
part of me that thinks

that it's worth it

at whatever cost,
you know?

But I know that
that's not very practical.

But there are other
bands who share those...

That's the point.
We're just one
of many, you know.

Like, that's okay.

If it all ended tomorrow
it'd be okay, you know?

I mean, we're just another
fucking band, you know.

So...

Except, on other
days you say,

"We're the best
band in the world!"

Yeah, but every band's
got to go through life

thinking that, you know?

To keep going.
Yeah.

Yeah.

MOSS: It was
kind of a crash.

I had to accept
the realization that

I can't pick up
where I left off.

Will is not enough to
make this stuff happen.

You can go...
You can go
all by yourself.

JOAN MOSS: Really?

I... I did it for...

Remember when we
were playing, me,
you and Oscar?

And I had to be the monster
eating up the potatoes.

So you could be
a little bit sad when
Mommy and Daddy go away,

and then when
they come back

do you have big,
huge hugs for them? Eh?

So when you're a grownup,
are you going to have to
go to work sometimes?

And what will
your little boy do?

EZRA: Going be sad.

He's going to be sad.
But then...

Whoa, whoa...
(JOAN LAUGHS)

I'm getting so tired.

* Sleepwalking, sleep talking

* When all she looks
at you to see

* A faded page of memories

* Sleepwalking, sleep talking

* About you

* Sleepwalking,
sleep talking *

* What do you do
when you don't belong?

* You're in your corner

* What do you say
when you're always wrong?

* Is it any wonder

* Day and night,
it's night and day *

MOSS: Maybe we'll be
lucky enough to have more
opportunities

where we can tour for one
week or ten days at a time.
NADIA: Yeah.

Where we can just
leave him with Mum, who's...

Oh, my God, without her,
where would we be?
Yeah.

So, I'm planning on looking
for work in September.
Mmm-hmm.

Um, well, I guess
that's really soon.

'Cause that's where I'm at.
'Cause we're gonna be...

You know, Ezra and I
are going to be home a lot.

He'll be in daycare,
you know.

Who knows if I'll ever
be able to not have
a job again after now?

Yeah.
Who knows?

You know, I didn't know
I would be at this
position at this age, but...

Like you thought you'd
probably be in a career
that made you money?

No, I don't know
what I thought.

Actually, I don't know what
I thought. I don't know.

I just sort of was just
doing this band thing

and year after year it kept
being the thing... Enough.

(CHILDREN TALKING
INDISTINCTLY)

What if it chews
on something?

It's not going to.
Cats aren't dumb.

Yeah, I'm so excited!

There's a good amount of fans
out there that are gonna get
really excited.

I think we should do
a couple of fliggle wiggles.

Yeah.

BOY: Do the fliggle wiggle.

(SINGING)

It was really moving seeing
you being in charge of them.

Oh, really?
Like, Ezra definitely has

changed me in that I'm not
shy around children anymore.
Yeah.

(ALL CHEERING)

(SINGING)

It was good.
Yeah, yeah.

So he got hassled,
but we were okay.

JULIE DOIRON: I feel
guilty about my path I took
as a mother.

(SINGING)

I kept touring.

My husband at the time
really, really encouraged
me to keep touring.

He didn't want me
to ever, like, resent...

He didn't want me to
give up what I was doing,

'cause I was already
a touring musician
before I had kids.

In hindsight, I really wish
that I had not kept touring.

I say that to people
sometimes and they say,

"Well, you're crazy.
You don't really wish that.

"Do you really wish that
you had stopped music?"

And ultimately,
like, I missed out
on a lot of stuff

and you can't really...

I mean, I can't ever
go back that way.

I often feel like I'm a fraud

because I feel
like people have

sort of looked up
to me for advice

or they see...

Like I know that
people probably go,
"Okay, well, Julie Doiron,

"she did have kids

"and she's still touring,
like, she's doing it all

"and so can I."

It may look like
an ideal situation,

but, like, I ruined
my marriage,

and I lost custody
of my children, and so I...

Yes, I have three amazing kids

who love me, and they
know I'm their mom,

and now I have to tour
way more because

I have all these other bills.

If I'm not on the road
I don't have any money.

My kids tell me
over and over, like,

"You're always going
to be our mom.

"Like, we understand
that you're gone."

But I constantly feel guilty
about not being there.

Talking about this right now
is making me feel amazing

and maybe I won't feel
depressed for the next week.

That's great.

And I'm just realizing
like maybe women should
be getting...

Well, obviously women
should be getting
together way more often

to talk about
all this stuff.

You need so much
help to be able
to continue to

have a...
To have creative output

and to be a mother.

You can't focus
100% on your art

and also be a mother.

I don't actually think
that's humanly possible

or physically possible.
Right.

MOSS: The degree to which

privilege and circumstance

play in us being able
to do what we do.

Childcare.
Access to healthcare.

Most people in the world
don't have that.

And it's only because of these
things that I have this luxury

to take a step back

to consider trying
to be a mother
and a creative person.

I am overwhelmed
by gratitude for that.

MENUCK: I don't live
a healthy life and I want
to live a long time

'cause I want to see my
kid get older, you know?

I mean, I live the life
of a musician

and it's not a healthy life.

People die in their fifties
and sixties just from
staying on the road.

That's a real thing.

All I do is tour and rehearse
and worry about money.

In spite of all that,
I love Ezra so much,
I love Jessica so much.

I like who I am more
than I ever have,

and I like being a father.

All that matters to me
now is that Ezra stays happy

and that Jessica has as
much time as she needs

to figure out what
she wants to do.

Everything else
is just noise.

* What we loved was not enough

* Even though we wanted to

* And this I learned
and thus I gleaned

(SINGING)

* Kiss it quick
and rise again *

MOSS: I don't know if
I can start something new,
you know what I mean?

To imagine starting something,
like to conceive of

beginning is very daunting.

Like starting
something artistically,
we're sort of...

We're in that now,
we're doing it,
so that's one thing.

But you mean starting
it like trying to get

to a place where we
can have shows that
don't lose money?

It's not open to us

to be a young band
trying to make it.

It's just, even if we tried,

it's not a door
that's open.

Nothing, no part
of this culture is like,

"Older women artists,
let's see what you got!"

I know.

Like zero, zero, zero
part of this culture.
Exactly.

All I want to do right
now is play guitar,

which has come
from us being together.

I know, it really has
made me so happy.

It's been so fun.

MOSS: Everything in
the world tells me
it's bad to get old.

But every single
one of us is doing it,

so how could that be bad?

Oh, my God!

(MOSS LAUGHING)

EZRA: I'm happy
to see you.

MOSS: I'm so happy
to see you!

We just came back
to find you.

JOAN: Are you happy
to see Mommy?

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

(PLAYING HARMONICAS)

Why you closing
your eyes?

When I really
feel the music
I close my eyes.

(BOTH VOCALIZING)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

MOSS: You know what,
I think it sounds okay
if it's a little...

Screechy?

* Lord let my son
live long enough

* To see that mountain
torn down

* Lord

(SINGING)

* Let my son

* Live long enough

* To see that mountain
torn down

* Lord

(PLAYING RECORDER)

(EZRA SPEAKING)

No, I don't.

(EZRA SPEAKING)

Yes, you do. Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh.

(PLAYING DRUM)

That's a really
good beat, Ezra.

(EZRA SPEAKING)

That's it.

This is it. The end.