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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,266 --> 00:00:03,233 YOU'RE GIVING UP THE SCREAM? 2 00:00:03,266 --> 00:00:05,866 WHEN CONRAD BIRDIE SINGS ON TELEVISION, 3 00:00:05,899 --> 00:00:07,467 YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GO... 4 00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:09,266 ( screams ) 5 00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:11,366 - ( screaming ) - ( music playing ) 6 00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:14,833 MY GOD! 7 00:00:14,866 --> 00:00:18,266 - NO! - NO! 8 00:00:34,467 --> 00:00:38,666 ♪ BYE BYE, BIRDIE 9 00:00:38,699 --> 00:00:42,366 ♪ I'M GONNA MISS YOU SO ♪ 10 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:46,500 ♪ BYE BYE, BIRDIE 11 00:00:46,532 --> 00:00:50,599 ♪ WHY'D YOU HAVE TO GO? ♪ 12 00:00:50,632 --> 00:00:54,632 ♪ NO MORE SUNSHINE 13 00:00:54,666 --> 00:00:58,200 ♪ IT'S FOLLOWED YOU AWAY ♪ 14 00:00:58,233 --> 00:01:02,300 ♪ I'LL CRY, BIRDIE 15 00:01:02,333 --> 00:01:05,699 ♪ TILL YOU'RE HOME TO STAY ♪ 16 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:08,200 ♪ I'LL MISS THE WAY YOU SMILE ♪ 17 00:01:08,233 --> 00:01:09,766 ♪ AS THOUGH IT'S JUST FOR ME ♪ 18 00:01:09,799 --> 00:01:12,333 ♪ AND EACH AND EVERY NIGHT ♪ 19 00:01:12,366 --> 00:01:15,699 ♪ I'LL WRITE YOU FAITHFULLY ♪ 20 00:01:15,732 --> 00:01:20,766 ♪ BYE BYE, BIRDIE 21 00:01:20,799 --> 00:01:24,599 ♪ IT'S AWFUL HARD TO BEAR ♪ 22 00:01:24,632 --> 00:01:28,833 ♪ BYE BYE, BIRDIE 23 00:01:28,866 --> 00:01:32,333 ♪ GUESS I'LL ALWAYS CARE. ♪ 24 00:01:58,266 --> 00:01:59,599 ( siren wailing ) 25 00:02:03,300 --> 00:02:05,133 ( elevator bell rings ) 26 00:02:09,632 --> 00:02:12,133 THE MOST RIDICULOUS THING I'VE EVER HEARD. 27 00:02:16,266 --> 00:02:18,599 ( muttering ) 28 00:02:20,300 --> 00:02:21,899 ( typewriter clicking ) 29 00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:23,300 MORNING, MR. PETERSON. 30 00:02:24,467 --> 00:02:27,166 MORNING, MARY. 31 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:34,500 WELL, IN TWO WEEKS, CONRAD BIRDIE, 32 00:02:34,532 --> 00:02:36,467 THE BIGGEST ROCK AND ROLL TEEN IDOL 33 00:02:36,500 --> 00:02:38,233 THIS COUNTRY HAS EVER SEEN, 34 00:02:38,266 --> 00:02:40,300 IS GOING IN THE ARMY! 35 00:02:40,333 --> 00:02:43,467 THEY JUST DENIED OUR SECOND APPEAL. 36 00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:45,833 WOULD YOU STOP THAT AND LISTEN TO ME? 37 00:02:47,632 --> 00:02:50,500 THIS COULD BE THE END OF THE ALMAELOU MUSIC CORPORATION. 38 00:02:50,532 --> 00:02:54,300 ROSE, DID YOU HEAR WHAT I JUST SAID? 39 00:02:54,333 --> 00:02:55,632 WHAT IS THAT? 40 00:02:55,666 --> 00:02:57,433 MY RESIGNATION. 41 00:02:57,467 --> 00:02:59,532 MY PILLS. WHERE ARE MY PILLS-- 42 00:02:59,566 --> 00:03:02,266 THE LITTLE WHITE ONES? 43 00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:04,333 NOT A WHOLE ONE! BREAK IT IN HALF! 44 00:03:04,366 --> 00:03:05,899 YOU'RE 39 YEARS OLD, ALBERT. 45 00:03:05,933 --> 00:03:07,632 YOU CAN TAKE A WHOLE ASPIRIN. 46 00:03:07,666 --> 00:03:10,200 HOW CAN YOU RESIGN AT A TIME LIKE THIS? 47 00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:11,866 MY MIND IS MADE UP, ALBERT. 48 00:03:11,899 --> 00:03:14,666 AS YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN WITH ALMAELOU FOR EIGHT YEARS. 49 00:03:14,699 --> 00:03:17,166 I'VE BEEN MORE THAN JUST A SECRETARY TO YOU. 50 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,933 OH, I GET IT NOW. 51 00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:21,866 YOU WANT A RAISE. 52 00:03:21,899 --> 00:03:24,500 WRONG! YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT, ALBERT. 53 00:03:24,532 --> 00:03:27,666 ROSIE, IF YOU'RE REFERRING 54 00:03:27,699 --> 00:03:31,233 TO ANYTHING OF A MORE PERMANENT NATURE... 55 00:03:32,300 --> 00:03:34,300 WELL, I'M JUST NOT READY FOR IT. 56 00:03:34,333 --> 00:03:35,899 BESIDES, THERE ARE RELIGIOUS DIFFERENCES. 57 00:03:35,933 --> 00:03:37,666 SPANISH IS NOT A RELIGION. 58 00:03:37,699 --> 00:03:39,799 IF IT'S PART OF THE COMPANY YOU'RE AFTER, 59 00:03:39,833 --> 00:03:41,566 THE ANSWER IS NO TO THAT TOO! 60 00:03:41,599 --> 00:03:44,166 ALMAELOU IS ME, MOMMA AND LOU. 61 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:47,233 ANY CHANGE WOULD KILL THAT WONDERFUL WOMAN THAT BORE ME! 62 00:03:47,266 --> 00:03:50,200 NOTHING COULD KILL YOUR MOTHER, AL, EXCEPT A SILVER BULLET. 63 00:03:50,233 --> 00:03:53,233 AND I WON'T DROP POOR OLD LOU, EITHER. 64 00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:54,766 HE LOVED YOU, ROSE. 65 00:03:54,799 --> 00:03:56,366 OH, I LOVED LOU TOO. 66 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:59,200 SURE, HE WAS WARM, HE WAS LOYAL, HE WAS LOVABLE. 67 00:03:59,233 --> 00:04:00,766 BUT HE DIED SIX YEARS AGO. 68 00:04:00,799 --> 00:04:02,933 BESIDES, HE WAS A WIRE-HAIRED TERRIER! 69 00:04:02,966 --> 00:04:05,799 ANYHOW, I DON'T WANT A PART OF THE COMPANY! 70 00:04:05,833 --> 00:04:07,467 THIS IS SOMETHING MUCH MORE IMPORTANT! 71 00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:09,799 YOU'RE GONNA DISCUSS WHAT I THINK YOU ARE, 72 00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,699 I'M IN NO MOOD TO DISCUSS IT! 73 00:04:11,732 --> 00:04:15,233 THERE'S NOTHING TO DISCUSS. CONRAD BIRDIE'S GOING INTO THE ARMY AND I QUIT! 74 00:04:15,266 --> 00:04:18,266 YOU CAN GIVE UP THE BUSINESS, GO BACK TO COLLEGE. 75 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,532 ROSE, I AM UP TO MY EARS IN DEBT! 76 00:04:20,566 --> 00:04:23,899 CONRAD BIRDIE HAS A $50,000 GUARANTEE 77 00:04:23,933 --> 00:04:25,467 WHICH I CAN'T PAY, 78 00:04:25,500 --> 00:04:28,599 AND I HAVE JUST TAKEN A SEVERE OVERDOSE OF ASPIRIN. 79 00:04:31,599 --> 00:04:34,166 ALBERT, THIS MAY BE YOUR VERY LAST CHANCE. 80 00:04:35,933 --> 00:04:38,266 WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME, ALBERT? 81 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:41,300 I'M SERIOUS. 82 00:04:42,467 --> 00:04:46,200 ♪ HIS GOING IN THE ARMY IS THE BEST THING HE COULD DO ♪ 83 00:04:46,233 --> 00:04:48,899 ♪ NOW YOU'RE FREE TO START TO DO WHAT YOU WANTED TO ♪ 84 00:04:48,933 --> 00:04:53,833 ♪ ALBERT, ALBERT, ALBERT! ♪ 85 00:04:53,866 --> 00:04:56,866 ♪ I REMEMBER HOW YOU TOLD ME I SHOULD TRUST YOU FOR A YEAR ♪ 86 00:04:56,899 --> 00:04:59,166 ♪ IT WOULD JUST BE FOR A YEAR ♪ 87 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:02,532 ♪ BUT IT'S EIGHT YEARS, ALBERT ♪ 88 00:05:02,566 --> 00:05:04,467 ♪ EIGHT LONG YEARS, ALBERT... ♪ 89 00:05:04,500 --> 00:05:06,433 IT TAKES TIME TO BUILD A BUSINESS, ROSIE. 90 00:05:06,467 --> 00:05:09,500 ♪ IT WAS ONLY A SIDELINE, THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID ♪ 91 00:05:09,532 --> 00:05:12,467 ♪ YOU JUST NEEDED SOME MONEY, THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID ♪ 92 00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:16,266 ♪ YOU WERE GOING TO COLLEGE AND GET AHEAD ♪ 93 00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:18,366 ♪ INSTEAD OF BEING A MUSIC-BUSINESS BUM ♪ 94 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:23,599 ♪ YOU WERE GOING TO N.Y.U. AND BECOME... ♪ 95 00:05:23,632 --> 00:05:25,333 DON'T SAY IT, ROSIE. 96 00:05:25,366 --> 00:05:27,266 AN ENGLISH TEACHER! 97 00:05:27,300 --> 00:05:30,699 AND FURTHERMORE, YOU WROTE POETRY. IN THE N.Y.U. YEARBOOK, 98 00:05:30,732 --> 00:05:33,766 UNDER ALBERT PETERSON'S FAVORITE PIECE OF LITERATURE-- 99 00:05:33,799 --> 00:05:36,300 YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT SAYS? "LITTLE WOMEN." 100 00:05:36,333 --> 00:05:39,866 ♪ AN ENGLISH TEACHER 101 00:05:39,899 --> 00:05:42,532 ♪ AN ENGLISH TEACHER 102 00:05:42,566 --> 00:05:49,166 ♪ IF ONLY YOU'D BEEN AN ENGLISH TEACHER ♪ 103 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:53,300 ♪ WE'D HAVE A LITTLE APARTMENT IN QUEENS ♪ 104 00:05:53,333 --> 00:05:56,233 ♪ YOU'D GET A SUMMER VACATION ♪ 105 00:05:56,266 --> 00:05:59,699 ♪ AND WE WOULD KNOW WHAT LIFE MEANS ♪ 106 00:05:59,732 --> 00:06:03,599 ♪ A MAN WHO'S GOT HIS MASTER'S ♪ 107 00:06:03,632 --> 00:06:06,467 ♪ IS REALLY SOMEONE 108 00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:13,233 ♪ HOW PROUD I'D BE IF YOU HAD BECOME ONE ♪ 109 00:06:13,266 --> 00:06:17,166 ♪ IT COULD HAVE BEEN SUCH A WONDERFUL LIFE ♪ 110 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:20,433 ♪ I COULD HAVE BEEN MRS. PETERSON ♪ 111 00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:22,732 ♪ MRS. ALBERT PETERSON 112 00:06:22,766 --> 00:06:27,200 ♪ MRS. "PHI BETA KAPPA" PETERSON ♪ 113 00:06:27,233 --> 00:06:34,200 ♪ THE ENGLISH TEACHER'S WIFE. ♪ 114 00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:53,400 ROSIE, I'LL MAKE A DEAL WITH YOU. 115 00:06:53,433 --> 00:06:55,433 STAY WITH ME. 116 00:06:55,467 --> 00:06:57,899 HELP ME GET THE MONEY TO PAY CONRAD'S GUARANTEE, 117 00:06:57,933 --> 00:07:01,632 AND I PROMISE AS SOON AS I'M OUT OF THE RED 118 00:07:01,666 --> 00:07:03,333 I WILL DISSOLVE THIS COMPANY 119 00:07:03,366 --> 00:07:06,632 AND GO BACK TO THE ACADEMIC LIFE. 120 00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:15,233 ALBERT, YOU'RE ON. 121 00:07:15,266 --> 00:07:17,266 OH, ROSIE, THAT'S GREAT. 122 00:07:17,300 --> 00:07:20,166 IT MAY TAKE ME A WHILE, BUT I'M SURE BY 1973-- 123 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,200 - PICK A NAME. - PICK A NAME? 124 00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:23,333 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 125 00:07:23,366 --> 00:07:25,300 NEVER MIND. I'LL PICK ONE FOR YOU. 126 00:07:25,333 --> 00:07:28,300 MacAFEE. KIM MacAFEE. 127 00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:30,166 PRESIDENT AND RECORDING SECRETARY, 128 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,300 CONRAD BIRDIE FAN CLUB NUMBER 2748, 129 00:07:33,333 --> 00:07:35,300 SWEET APPLE, OHIO. 130 00:07:35,333 --> 00:07:37,632 MARY, GET ME SWEET APPLE, OHIO, 131 00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:39,799 - CAPITOL 7820. - RIGHT. 132 00:07:39,833 --> 00:07:42,766 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WHO'S THIS KIM MacFRACKETY? 133 00:07:42,799 --> 00:07:45,766 MacAFEE, ALBERT. KIM MacAFEE IS GONNA SEND YOU BACK TO COLLEGE 134 00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:48,233 WITH THE BIGGEST HIT SONG THIS INDUSTRY HAS EVER HEARD. 135 00:07:48,266 --> 00:07:51,266 IT'S CALLED... "ONE LAST KISS." 136 00:07:51,300 --> 00:07:53,833 - I NEVER HEARD OF IT. - YOU HAVEN'T WRITTEN IT YET. 137 00:07:53,866 --> 00:07:57,266 BUT WHEN YOU DO, AND WHEN THAT ONE LAST KISS IS FROM CONRAD 138 00:07:57,300 --> 00:08:01,366 ON HIS WAY INTO THE BIG, COLD ARMY FOR TWO LONG YEARS, 139 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,933 AND HE GIVES THAT KISS TO ONE OF HIS FANS-- 140 00:08:03,966 --> 00:08:06,333 CHOSEN AT RANDOM FROM 1,200,000 141 00:08:06,366 --> 00:08:08,500 SCREAMING, HYSTERICAL TEENAGERS, 142 00:08:08,532 --> 00:08:11,666 IT'LL MAKE MR. BIRDIE THE HOTTEST SOLDIER SINCE JOAN OF ARC! 143 00:08:11,699 --> 00:08:13,333 I'M BEGINNING TO GET THE POINT. 144 00:08:13,366 --> 00:08:15,333 WE CUT THE RECORD HERE IN NEW YORK-- 145 00:08:15,366 --> 00:08:16,799 TAKE CONRAD BIRDIE TO SWEET APPLE-- 146 00:08:16,833 --> 00:08:18,233 LET HIM KISS THIS KIM-- 147 00:08:18,266 --> 00:08:19,467 THEN RELEASE THE RECORD! 148 00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:22,366 YOU'LL MAKE ENOUGH TO STAY IN COLLEGE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! 149 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:23,933 ROSIE, YOU'RE WONDERFUL! 150 00:08:23,966 --> 00:08:26,233 I PROMISE, THE MINUTE THIS IS SETTLED, 151 00:08:26,266 --> 00:08:28,933 IT'LL JUST BE THE TWO OF US TOGETHER IN PERFECT BLISS. 152 00:08:28,966 --> 00:08:31,433 I'LL GET A JOB TEACHING ENGLISH AND... 153 00:08:31,467 --> 00:08:34,233 BLISS. KISS. 154 00:08:34,266 --> 00:08:36,433 THAT RHYMES. 155 00:08:36,467 --> 00:08:38,799 WONDER IF ANYONE'S EVER USED IT BEFORE? 156 00:08:38,833 --> 00:08:40,266 WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? 157 00:08:40,300 --> 00:08:42,266 IT'LL BE PERFECT FOR THE SONG. 158 00:08:43,666 --> 00:08:45,333 ♪ OH-- OH, ONE LAST KISS ♪ 159 00:08:45,366 --> 00:08:48,899 ♪ IT REALLY IS SUCH BLISS ♪ 160 00:08:48,933 --> 00:08:51,500 ♪ OUR LIPS WILL NEVER MISS ♪ 161 00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:52,899 ♪ JUST TURN YOUR HEAD LIKE THIS. ♪ 162 00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:56,166 - Mary: ROSIE, ALL THE LINES ARE BUSY. - NOT BAD. 163 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,300 EVERY PHONE IN SWEET APPLE CAN'T BE BUSY. 164 00:08:58,333 --> 00:09:02,233 - WHAT'S GOING ON THERE? - ( humming ) 165 00:09:04,233 --> 00:09:07,166 Rose: KIM MacAFEE JUST GOT PINNED? TO WHO? 166 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:08,699 WHOM. 167 00:09:10,966 --> 00:09:14,833 ( telephones ringing ) 168 00:09:18,966 --> 00:09:20,933 ♪ HI, NANCY 169 00:09:20,966 --> 00:09:22,632 ♪ HI, HELEN 170 00:09:22,666 --> 00:09:24,899 ♪ WHAT'S THE STORY, MORNING GLORY? ♪ 171 00:09:24,933 --> 00:09:26,566 ♪ WHAT'S THE TALE, NIGHTINGALE? ♪ 172 00:09:26,599 --> 00:09:28,699 ♪ TELL ME QUICK ABOUT HUGO AND KIM ♪ 173 00:09:28,732 --> 00:09:30,300 ♪ HI, MARGIE 174 00:09:30,333 --> 00:09:33,200 ♪ HI, ALICE 175 00:09:33,233 --> 00:09:35,266 ♪ WHAT'S THE STORY, MORNING GLORY? ♪ 176 00:09:35,300 --> 00:09:37,200 ♪ WHAT'S THE WORD, HUMMINGBIRD? ♪ 177 00:09:37,233 --> 00:09:39,233 ♪ HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT HUGO AND KIM? ♪ 178 00:09:39,266 --> 00:09:41,400 ♪ DID THEY REALLY GET PINNED? 179 00:09:41,433 --> 00:09:43,532 ♪ DID SHE KISS HIM AND CRY? ♪ 180 00:09:43,566 --> 00:09:45,732 ♪ DID HE PIN THE PIN ON? ♪ 181 00:09:45,766 --> 00:09:47,799 ♪ OR WAS HE TOO SHY? 182 00:09:47,833 --> 00:09:50,400 - ♪ I HEARD THEY GOT PINNED - ♪ YEAH, YEAH 183 00:09:50,433 --> 00:09:52,699 - ♪ I WAS HOPING THEY WOULD - ♪ UH-HUH 184 00:09:52,732 --> 00:09:55,166 - ♪ THEY'RE LIVING AT LAST - ♪ HE'S GONE 185 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:57,632 - ♪ GOING STEADY FOR GOOD - ♪ HELLO, MR. MERKLE 186 00:09:57,666 --> 00:09:59,766 ♪ THIS IS HARVEY JOHNSON 187 00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:02,899 ♪ CAN I SPEAK TO URSULA, PLEASE? ♪ 188 00:10:02,933 --> 00:10:05,200 - ♪ IS IT TRUE ABOUT KIM? - URSULA? 189 00:10:05,233 --> 00:10:07,532 - ♪ I KNEW IT SOMEHOW... - ABOUT OUR DATE... 190 00:10:07,566 --> 00:10:09,833 - ♪ I MUST CALL HER RIGHT UP... ♪ - Saturday? 191 00:10:09,866 --> 00:10:12,933 ♪ I CAN'T TALK TO YOU NOW! ♪ 192 00:10:12,966 --> 00:10:14,933 - ♪ GOING STEADY - ♪ YOU KNOW IT, MAN 193 00:10:14,966 --> 00:10:17,300 - ♪ GOING STEADY - ♪ IT'S CRAZY, MAN 194 00:10:17,333 --> 00:10:19,833 - ♪ GOING STEADY - ♪ YOU KNOW IT 195 00:10:19,866 --> 00:10:21,699 ♪ IT WON'T LAST 196 00:10:21,732 --> 00:10:23,866 ♪ NOT A PRAYER 197 00:10:23,899 --> 00:10:25,933 ♪ SHE'S TOO COOL 198 00:10:25,966 --> 00:10:27,467 ♪ HE'S TOO SQUARE 199 00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:31,433 ♪ HELLO, MRS. MILLER, THIS IS HARVEY JOHNSON ♪ 200 00:10:31,467 --> 00:10:35,632 ♪ CAN I SPEAK TO DEBRA SUE? ♪ 201 00:10:35,666 --> 00:10:37,632 ♪ HIYA, HUGO 202 00:10:37,666 --> 00:10:40,200 ♪ Hiya, stupid 203 00:10:40,233 --> 00:10:43,467 ♪ What ya wanna go get pinned for? ♪ 204 00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:46,200 - ♪ I HEARD THEY GOT PINNED - ♪ HEY, YA MEATHEAD 205 00:10:46,233 --> 00:10:48,566 - ♪ I WAS HOPING THEY WOULD - ♪ Lost your marbles? 206 00:10:48,599 --> 00:10:50,899 - ♪ THEY'RE LIVING AT LAST - ♪ Are ya nutty? 207 00:10:50,933 --> 00:10:53,233 - ♪ GOING STEADY FOR-- - ♪ HELLO, MRS. GARFEIN... 208 00:10:53,266 --> 00:10:55,400 IS CHARITY HOME FROM SCHOOL YET? 209 00:10:55,433 --> 00:10:58,500 - ♪ DID THEY REALLY GET PINNED? ♪ - ♪ SHE SAW HIM 210 00:10:58,532 --> 00:11:01,266 - ♪ I WAS HOPING THEY WOULD - ♪ SHE DUG HIM 211 00:11:01,300 --> 00:11:02,899 - ♪ GOING STEADY - ♪ SHE NAILED HIM 212 00:11:02,933 --> 00:11:06,933 ♪ YA GOTTA GO, THAT'S THE WAY TO GO ♪ 213 00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:09,200 Men: ♪ WHEN THEY GOT YOU HOOKED ♪ 214 00:11:09,233 --> 00:11:10,866 ♪ THEN YOU'RE REALLY COOKED ♪ 215 00:11:10,899 --> 00:11:14,766 ♪ WHAT YA GONNA DO? WHAT YA GONNA DO? ♪ 216 00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:17,200 - ♪ I HEARD THEY GOT PINNED - ♪ OH, MAN 217 00:11:17,233 --> 00:11:19,166 - ♪ I WAS THINKING THEY WOULD - ♪ OH, MAN 218 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:22,166 ♪ NOW THEY'RE LIVING AT LAST, GOING STEADY FOR GOOD ♪ 219 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,732 - ♪ GOING STEADY, GOING STEADY - ♪ AH-OOH, AH-OOH 220 00:11:24,766 --> 00:11:27,366 ♪ STEADY FOR GOOD, GOING STEADY ♪ 221 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:30,632 ♪ GOING STEADY, GOING STEADY, STEADY FOR GOOD ♪ 222 00:11:30,666 --> 00:11:32,433 ♪ HE'S IN LOVE WITH KIM ♪ 223 00:11:32,467 --> 00:11:34,766 ♪ KIM'S IN LOVE WITH HIM ♪ 224 00:11:34,799 --> 00:11:36,799 ♪ GOING STEADY, GOING STEADY ♪ 225 00:11:36,833 --> 00:11:38,899 ♪ DO TELL 226 00:11:38,933 --> 00:11:41,899 ♪ WELL, WELL, DO TELL ♪ 227 00:11:41,933 --> 00:11:44,899 - ♪ THAT'S THE WAY IT SHOULD BE ♪ - ♪ OH, YEAH 228 00:11:44,933 --> 00:11:47,400 - ♪ THEY'LL BE HAPPY, I KNOW - ♪ OH, YEAH 229 00:11:47,433 --> 00:11:49,566 - ♪ GOING STEADY'S FOR ME - ♪ OH, YEAH 230 00:11:49,599 --> 00:11:52,266 - ♪ THAT'S THE WAY YOU SHOULD GO ♪ - ♪ GOING STEADY... 231 00:11:52,300 --> 00:11:53,866 ♪ GOING STEADY, STEADY FOR GOOD ♪ 232 00:11:53,899 --> 00:11:57,233 ( repeating ) ♪ GOING STEADY... 233 00:11:57,266 --> 00:12:00,400 ♪ OHHHH, YEAH! 234 00:12:06,433 --> 00:12:07,933 OH, YEAH! 235 00:12:07,966 --> 00:12:10,732 ( telephone ringing ) 236 00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:14,366 I'LL GET IT! 237 00:12:15,699 --> 00:12:17,033 HELLO? 238 00:12:17,066 --> 00:12:20,500 KIM MacAFEE, WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE RESIGNING FROM THE FAN CLUB? 239 00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:23,532 JUST BECAUSE HUGO PEABODY GAVE YOU HIS PIN 240 00:12:23,566 --> 00:12:27,166 DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO RETIRE FROM ALL SOCIAL LIFE. 241 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:29,233 GOING STEADY IS VERY IMPORTANT, 242 00:12:29,266 --> 00:12:32,266 but some things are more important than very important. 243 00:12:32,300 --> 00:12:34,166 The Conrad Birdie Fan Club is one of them. 244 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,632 KIM, WHERE ELSE CAN WE GIRLS GATHER 245 00:12:36,666 --> 00:12:39,433 TO WORSHIP SUCH A WONDERFUL CREATURE? 246 00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:43,566 DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU WOULD BE GIVING UP, KIM? 247 00:12:43,599 --> 00:12:45,899 I'M SORRY, URSULA, BUT I'VE MADE UP MY MIND. 248 00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:48,433 OF COURSE, I'LL STILL PLAY HIS RECORDS, 249 00:12:48,467 --> 00:12:49,766 BUT THINGS LIKE THE PLEDGE 250 00:12:49,799 --> 00:12:51,366 AND THE SCREAM ARE PAST ME NOW. 251 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,632 YOU'RE GIVING UP THE SCREAM? 252 00:12:53,666 --> 00:12:56,532 WHEN CONRAD BIRDIE SINGS ON TELEVISION, 253 00:12:56,566 --> 00:12:57,899 YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GO... 254 00:12:57,933 --> 00:13:00,233 ( screams ) 255 00:13:00,266 --> 00:13:02,566 OH, KIM! 256 00:13:02,599 --> 00:13:03,866 Woman: KIM, DEAR? 257 00:13:03,899 --> 00:13:05,233 YES, MOTHER? 258 00:13:05,266 --> 00:13:06,866 WOULD YOU PLEASE GET OFF THE PHONE? 259 00:13:06,899 --> 00:13:08,866 I HAVE SOME CALLS TO MAKE. 260 00:13:08,899 --> 00:13:11,366 I'M SORRY, URSULA, I HAVE TO GET OFF THE PHONE. 261 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:13,266 YOU'LL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING TO THE OTHER KIDS? 262 00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:16,166 WELL, I SUPPOSE I HAVE TO. 263 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:17,799 OH, KIM, ARE YOU SURE? 264 00:13:17,833 --> 00:13:19,300 I MEAN, REALLY, KIM. 265 00:13:19,333 --> 00:13:22,899 I MEAN, AFTER ALL, ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY SURE? 266 00:13:22,933 --> 00:13:25,899 I'M POSITIVE. IT'S TIME I SETTLED DOWN. 267 00:13:25,933 --> 00:13:27,766 ( sighs ) 268 00:13:27,799 --> 00:13:28,933 BYE, KIM. 269 00:13:28,966 --> 00:13:31,266 BYE. 270 00:13:36,300 --> 00:13:39,166 ♪ WHEN YOU'RE A SKINNY CHILD OF 15 ♪ 271 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:42,666 ♪ WIRED WITH BRACES FROM EAR TO EAR ♪ 272 00:13:42,699 --> 00:13:49,400 ♪ YOU DOUBT THAT YOU COULD EVER BE APPEALING ♪ 273 00:13:50,599 --> 00:13:52,899 ♪ THEN, HALLELUJAH, YOU'RE 17 ♪ 274 00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:55,233 ♪ AND THE BRACES DISAPPEAR ♪ 275 00:13:55,266 --> 00:13:58,266 ♪ AND YOUR SKIN IS SMOOTH AND CLEAR ♪ 276 00:13:58,300 --> 00:14:06,200 ♪ AND YOU HAVE THAT HAPPY GROWN-UP FEMALE FEELING ♪ 277 00:14:11,899 --> 00:14:15,500 ♪ HOW LOVELY TO BE A WOMAN ♪ 278 00:14:15,532 --> 00:14:18,599 ♪ THE WAIT WAS WELL WORTHWHILE ♪ 279 00:14:18,632 --> 00:14:21,899 ♪ HOW LOVELY TO WEAR MASCARA ♪ 280 00:14:21,933 --> 00:14:25,400 ♪ AND SMILE A WOMAN'S SMILE ♪ 281 00:14:25,433 --> 00:14:28,833 ♪ HOW LOVELY TO HAVE A FIGURE ♪ 282 00:14:28,866 --> 00:14:31,699 ♪ THAT'S ROUND INSTEAD OF FLAT ♪ 283 00:14:31,732 --> 00:14:35,300 ♪ WHENEVER YOU HEAR BOYS WHISTLE ♪ 284 00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:38,233 ♪ YOU'RE WHAT THEY'RE WHISTLING AT ♪ 285 00:14:38,266 --> 00:14:41,266 ♪ IT'S WONDERFUL TO FEEL ♪ 286 00:14:41,300 --> 00:14:44,566 ♪ THE WAY A WOMAN FEELS ♪ 287 00:14:44,599 --> 00:14:47,166 ♪ IT GIVES YOU SUCH A GLOW ♪ 288 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:48,833 ♪ JUST TO KNOW 289 00:14:48,866 --> 00:14:51,933 ♪ YOU'RE WEARING LIPSTICK AND HEELS ♪ 290 00:14:51,966 --> 00:14:55,500 ♪ HOW LOVELY TO BE A WOMAN ♪ 291 00:14:55,532 --> 00:14:58,866 ♪ AND HAVE ONE JOB TO DO ♪ 292 00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:01,933 ♪ TO PICK OUT A BOY AND TRAIN HIM ♪ 293 00:15:01,966 --> 00:15:05,500 ♪ AND THEN WHEN YOU ARE THROUGH ♪ 294 00:15:05,532 --> 00:15:12,233 ♪ YOU'VE MADE HIM THE MAN YOU WANT HIM TO BE ♪ 295 00:15:12,266 --> 00:15:15,566 ♪ LIFE'S LOVELY WHEN YOU'RE A WOMAN ♪ 296 00:15:15,599 --> 00:15:18,333 ♪ LIKE ME 297 00:15:18,366 --> 00:15:21,200 ♪ HOW WONDERFUL TO KNOW 298 00:15:21,233 --> 00:15:24,866 ♪ THE THINGS A WOMAN KNOWS ♪ 299 00:15:24,899 --> 00:15:27,200 ♪ HOW MARVELOUS TO WAIT 300 00:15:27,233 --> 00:15:28,799 ♪ FOR A DATE 301 00:15:28,833 --> 00:15:32,233 ♪ IN SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL CLOTHES ♪ 302 00:15:32,266 --> 00:15:35,500 ♪ HOW LOVELY TO BE A WOMAN ♪ 303 00:15:35,532 --> 00:15:38,732 ♪ AND CHANGE FROM BOYS TO MEN ♪ 304 00:15:38,766 --> 00:15:41,899 ♪ TO GO TO A FANCY NIGHT CLUB ♪ 305 00:15:41,933 --> 00:15:45,500 ♪ AND STAY OUT AFTER 10 306 00:15:45,532 --> 00:15:51,233 ♪ HOW LOVELY TO BE SO GROWN-UP AND FREE ♪ 307 00:15:52,766 --> 00:15:58,266 ♪ LIFE'S LOVELY WHEN YOU'RE A WOMAN ♪ 308 00:15:58,300 --> 00:16:01,766 ♪ LIKE ME. 309 00:16:03,866 --> 00:16:05,632 ( music playing ) 310 00:16:11,632 --> 00:16:16,200 Announcer: Robert Young... 311 00:16:16,233 --> 00:16:19,200 and Jane Wyatt... 312 00:16:19,966 --> 00:16:21,799 with Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray, 313 00:16:21,833 --> 00:16:24,467 - and Lauren Chapin... - ( telephone ringing ) 314 00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:27,732 in "Father Knows Best." 315 00:16:27,766 --> 00:16:30,732 Man on TV: Don't come down the stairs like that, Bud, 316 00:16:30,766 --> 00:16:32,632 you sound like an elephant wearing golf shoes. 317 00:16:32,666 --> 00:16:36,933 - ( ringing continuing ) - Bud: Hello? Oh, hi, Joe. 318 00:16:36,966 --> 00:16:40,632 No matter what it is you want, I can't do it. 319 00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:42,632 Sounds great, but I can't go. 320 00:16:42,666 --> 00:16:44,699 I'll ask my dad, but it's no use. 321 00:16:44,732 --> 00:16:46,866 - HELLO? - Father: How do you know it's no use? 322 00:16:46,899 --> 00:16:48,866 You shouldn't make up your mind in advance. 323 00:16:48,899 --> 00:16:51,566 You make me sound like your jailer instead of your father. 324 00:16:51,599 --> 00:16:54,467 Can I go with the fellas on our scooters to the quarry? 325 00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:57,300 KIM, IT'S FOR YOU. 326 00:16:57,333 --> 00:17:01,532 THE OPERATOR SAYS SHE'S BEEN TRYING TO GET THROUGH FOR THREE-QUARTERS OF AN HOUR. 327 00:17:01,566 --> 00:17:05,333 - THANK YOU, DORIS. - SHE SAID IT WAS LONG DISTANCE-- 328 00:17:05,366 --> 00:17:07,899 - WHAT DID YOU SAY? - I SAID, "THANK YOU, DORIS." 329 00:17:07,933 --> 00:17:10,166 - GREAT. - HELLO? 330 00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:13,732 YES, THIS IS SHE. 331 00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:15,833 YES, I'LL WAIT. 332 00:17:15,866 --> 00:17:17,666 THERE'S NO NEED TO BE UPSET. 333 00:17:17,699 --> 00:17:20,166 IT'S MODERN TO CALL YOUR MOTHER BY HER FIRST NAME. 334 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,433 MAKES MOTHER AND DAUGHTER FEEL MORE LIKE PALS. 335 00:17:22,467 --> 00:17:25,699 - Doris: AND YOUR FATHER? - I'LL CALL HIM HARRY, NATURALLY. 336 00:17:25,732 --> 00:17:28,300 BY THE WAY, I THINK HARRY TOOK THE NEWS 337 00:17:28,333 --> 00:17:30,433 ABOUT HUGO AND I AWFULLY WELL. 338 00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:32,866 I DON'T KNOW. YESTERDAY, I WAS A MOTHER. 339 00:17:32,899 --> 00:17:34,599 TODAY, I'M A PAL. 340 00:17:34,632 --> 00:17:36,532 COULDN'T YOU CALL ME MOM? THAT'S MODERN. 341 00:17:36,566 --> 00:17:38,732 I'M SORRY. TIMES ARE CHANGING. 342 00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:41,166 YOU'VE GOT TO GO ALONG, OR YOU'RE GONNA BE 343 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,532 LEFT BEHIND WITH THE OLD FOLKS. 344 00:17:42,566 --> 00:17:44,266 YES, I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID. 345 00:17:44,300 --> 00:17:46,500 CONRAD BIRDIE IS COMING HERE TO KISS ME. 346 00:17:46,532 --> 00:17:48,433 THANK YOU SO MUCH. BYE-BYE. 347 00:17:53,732 --> 00:17:56,200 Boy on TV: So long. 348 00:17:56,233 --> 00:17:58,133 Girl: Bye. 349 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:02,166 Kim: DORIS? 350 00:18:02,966 --> 00:18:04,799 MOMMY?! 351 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,200 MOMMA! 352 00:18:09,233 --> 00:18:11,266 - WHAT IS IT? - IT'S CONRAD BIRDIE. 353 00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:12,632 HE'S GOING TO KISS ME! 354 00:18:12,666 --> 00:18:14,366 OH. THAT'S NICE, DEAR. 355 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:15,933 NO, MOMMY, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 356 00:18:15,966 --> 00:18:18,366 IT'S CONRAD BIRDIE-- 357 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,799 HE'S COMING HERE TO SWEET APPLE! 358 00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:23,166 HE'S GOING TO KISS ME GOODBYE! 359 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:24,266 OH, MOMMY! 360 00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:25,899 MOMMY! 361 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,233 I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY THIS, 362 00:18:29,266 --> 00:18:31,200 BUT GOD BLESS CONRAD BIRDIE. 363 00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:54,467 WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME. 364 00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:57,333 - WHAT'S THE EMERGENCY? - WAIT TILL EVERYONE GETS HERE. 365 00:18:57,366 --> 00:18:59,400 - WHAT'S UP? - I'LL TELL YOU IN A MINUTE. 366 00:18:59,433 --> 00:19:01,266 Both: WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT'S SO IMPORTANT? 367 00:19:01,300 --> 00:19:03,400 TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND I'LL TELL YOU. 368 00:19:03,433 --> 00:19:06,233 - ( inhaling together ) - IT'S ABOUT CONRAD BIRDIE. 369 00:19:06,266 --> 00:19:08,233 ( screaming ) 370 00:19:08,266 --> 00:19:10,632 HE'S COMING HERE IN PERSON. 371 00:19:10,666 --> 00:19:12,933 - TO SWEET APPLE?! - OH, MY GOD! 372 00:19:12,966 --> 00:19:15,532 - ASK ME WHY. - Girls: WHY?! 373 00:19:15,566 --> 00:19:18,233 HE'S GOING TO KISS KIM MacAFEE GOODBYE 374 00:19:18,266 --> 00:19:20,200 BEFORE HE GOES INTO THE ARMY. 375 00:19:20,233 --> 00:19:22,500 - KIM? HOW COME? - SHE WAS CHOSEN. 376 00:19:22,532 --> 00:19:24,833 - OH, MY GOD! - THAT LUCKY DUCK! 377 00:19:24,866 --> 00:19:27,366 WE'LL GET TO SEE HIM, MAYBE EVEN GET TO MEET HIM. 378 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,833 IF HE SAID HELLO TO ME, I'D PASS OUT! 379 00:19:29,866 --> 00:19:32,233 I WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO HIM! 380 00:19:32,266 --> 00:19:35,200 HOW ABOUT, "HAVE A NICE TIME IN THE ARMY"? 381 00:19:35,233 --> 00:19:36,699 I DON'T THINK THEY DO. 382 00:19:36,732 --> 00:19:38,899 - WHAT WOULD YOU SAY? - I DON'T KNOW. 383 00:19:38,933 --> 00:19:41,799 - YOU KNOW WHAT I'D SAY? - WHAT? 384 00:19:41,833 --> 00:19:47,632 ♪ BYE BYE, BIRDIE 385 00:19:47,666 --> 00:19:51,400 ♪ I'M GONNA MISS YOU SO 386 00:19:51,433 --> 00:19:55,899 ♪ BYE BYE, BIRDIE 387 00:19:55,933 --> 00:19:59,766 ♪ WHY'D YOU HAVE TO GO? 388 00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:05,233 ♪ NO MORE SUNSHINE 389 00:20:05,266 --> 00:20:08,833 ♪ IT'S FOLLOWED YOU AWAY 390 00:20:08,866 --> 00:20:13,533 ♪ I'LL CRY, BIRDIE 391 00:20:13,566 --> 00:20:17,200 ♪ TILL YOU'RE HOME TO STAY ♪ 392 00:20:17,233 --> 00:20:19,766 ♪ I'LL MISS THE WAY YOU SMILE ♪ 393 00:20:19,799 --> 00:20:21,866 ♪ AS THOUGH IT'S JUST FOR ME ♪ 394 00:20:21,899 --> 00:20:24,233 ♪ AND EVERY SINGLE NIGHT 395 00:20:24,266 --> 00:20:28,899 ♪ I'LL WRITE YOU FAITHFULLY ♪ 396 00:20:28,933 --> 00:20:33,366 ♪ BYE BYE, BIRDIE 397 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:37,333 ♪ IT'S AWFUL HARD TO BEAR ♪ 398 00:20:37,366 --> 00:20:42,233 ♪ BYE BYE, BIRDIE 399 00:20:42,266 --> 00:20:44,632 ♪ GUESS I'LL ALWAYS CARE 400 00:20:44,666 --> 00:20:47,300 ♪ WE'RE GONNA MISS HIM TERRIBLY ♪ 401 00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:50,200 ♪ IT'S GONNA BE REAL TOUGH ♪ 402 00:20:50,233 --> 00:20:52,632 ♪ TO EASE THE PAIN 403 00:20:52,666 --> 00:20:54,699 ♪ OF COURSE WE'VE GOT 404 00:20:54,732 --> 00:20:56,933 ♪ A LOT OF BIRDIE STUFF ♪ 405 00:20:56,966 --> 00:20:59,666 ♪ LIKE MY BIRDIE SWEATS, I WEAR THEM DAY AND NIGHT ♪ 406 00:20:59,699 --> 00:21:00,899 ♪ THEY'RE REALLY OUTTA SIGHT ♪ 407 00:21:00,933 --> 00:21:05,400 ♪ MY BIRDIE COLA COMFORTS ME AT ALL MY SODA BREAKS ♪ 408 00:21:05,433 --> 00:21:09,166 - ♪ AT EVERY BREAKFAST TIME, I MUNCH MY BIRDIE FLAKES... ♪ - ME, TOO! 409 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,833 ♪ THE PLASTIC BIRDIE STATUETTES ♪ 410 00:21:11,866 --> 00:21:14,400 ♪ ARE REALLY WORKS OF ART ♪ 411 00:21:14,433 --> 00:21:18,899 ♪ I WEAR MY BIRDIE TRAINING BRA ♪ 412 00:21:18,933 --> 00:21:20,899 ♪ TO KEEP HIM NEAR MY HEART ♪ 413 00:21:20,933 --> 00:21:24,266 ♪ HERE ON MY CALENDAR I'VE MARKED THE FATEFUL DAY ♪ 414 00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:26,566 ♪ WHEN HE'LL REPORT TO UNCLE SAM ♪ 415 00:21:26,599 --> 00:21:31,233 ♪ AND BRAVELY MARCH AWAY... ♪ 416 00:21:31,266 --> 00:21:32,366 All: OHH! 417 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:38,233 ♪ BYE BYE, BIRDIE 418 00:21:38,266 --> 00:21:42,400 ♪ THE ARMY'S GOT YOU NOW ♪ 419 00:21:42,433 --> 00:21:48,333 ♪ I'LL TRY, BIRDIE 420 00:21:48,366 --> 00:21:52,467 ♪ TO GO ON SOMEHOW 421 00:21:52,500 --> 00:21:57,166 ♪ I SIGH, BIRDIE 422 00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:00,500 ♪ EACH TIME YOU MOVE THOSE LIPS ♪ 423 00:22:00,533 --> 00:22:06,233 ♪ I DIE, BIRDIE 424 00:22:06,266 --> 00:22:08,467 ♪ WHEN YOU TWIST THOSE HIPS ♪ 425 00:22:08,500 --> 00:22:09,500 ( shrieks ) 426 00:22:09,533 --> 00:22:11,732 ♪ YOU REALLY TURN ME ON ♪ 427 00:22:11,766 --> 00:22:13,866 ♪ I'M LIKE A SAVAGE BEAST ♪ 428 00:22:13,899 --> 00:22:19,166 ♪ THE ARMY SHOULD MAKE YOU A GENERAL AT LEAST... ♪ 429 00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:20,366 OH, YEAH! 430 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:25,166 ♪ BYE BYE, BIRDIE 431 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:28,899 ♪ DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO ♪ 432 00:22:28,933 --> 00:22:33,566 ♪ COME BACK, BIRDIE 433 00:22:33,599 --> 00:22:38,233 ♪ I WILL WAIT FOR YOU ♪ 434 00:22:38,266 --> 00:22:45,333 ♪ WE'LL BE HERE FOR YOU. ♪ 435 00:22:45,366 --> 00:22:48,699 ( sobbing ) 436 00:22:56,899 --> 00:22:59,400 Man on PA: Porter to track number six. 437 00:22:59,433 --> 00:23:02,366 Porter to track number six. 438 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:05,166 Your attention, please-- 439 00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:08,866 train number 99, southeast service to Miami 440 00:23:08,899 --> 00:23:13,333 via Washington, Richmond, Norfolk, Wilmington... 441 00:23:13,366 --> 00:23:16,366 GIRLS, GATHER 'ROUND. WE HAVE TO REHEARSE THE CONRAD BIRDIE THEME SONG 442 00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,233 BEFORE THE REPORTERS GET HERE, ALL RIGHT? 443 00:23:18,266 --> 00:23:19,566 NICE AND WIDE. ( hums ) 444 00:23:19,599 --> 00:23:21,200 RIGHT ABOUT THERE. READY? AND... 445 00:23:21,233 --> 00:23:23,799 ♪ WE LOVE YOU, CONRAD, OH YES, WE DO ♪ 446 00:23:23,833 --> 00:23:26,766 ♪ WE LOVE YOU, CONRAD, AND WE'LL BE TRUE ♪ 447 00:23:26,799 --> 00:23:29,200 ♪ WHEN YOU'RE NOT NEAR US, WE'RE BLUE ♪ 448 00:23:29,233 --> 00:23:32,333 - THAT'S RIGHT. - ♪ OH, CONRAD, WE LOVE YOU. 449 00:23:38,866 --> 00:23:42,233 - WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? - I'M SAD... 450 00:23:42,266 --> 00:23:44,266 BECAUSE CONRAD BIRDIE IS GOING INTO THE ARMY. 451 00:23:44,300 --> 00:23:47,266 I'LL BE TOO OLD FOR HIM WHEN HE GETS OUT. 452 00:23:47,300 --> 00:23:51,533 I THINK YOU STILL HAVE A FEW GOOD YEARS LEFT. 453 00:23:53,300 --> 00:23:56,166 COME ON, THINGS CAN'T BE THAT BLACK. 454 00:23:56,200 --> 00:24:00,400 LITTLE GIRL, THIS IS AN ADULT SPEAKING. 455 00:24:00,433 --> 00:24:02,400 I ORDER YOU TO SMILE! 456 00:24:02,433 --> 00:24:03,632 HEH HEH! 457 00:24:03,666 --> 00:24:05,166 PLEASE? 458 00:24:09,333 --> 00:24:11,433 ♪ GRAY SKIES ARE GONNA CLEAR UP ♪ 459 00:24:11,467 --> 00:24:14,899 ♪ PUT ON A HAPPY FACE ♪ 460 00:24:14,933 --> 00:24:17,899 ♪ BRUSH OFF THE CLOUDS AND CHEER UP ♪ 461 00:24:17,933 --> 00:24:20,933 ♪ PUT ON A HAPPY FACE 462 00:24:20,966 --> 00:24:24,500 ♪ TAKE OFF THE GLOOMY MASK OF TRAGEDY ♪ 463 00:24:24,533 --> 00:24:26,866 ♪ IT'S NOT YOUR STYLE 464 00:24:26,899 --> 00:24:29,599 ♪ YOU'LL LOOK SO GOOD THAT YOU'LL BE GLAD ♪ 465 00:24:29,632 --> 00:24:32,632 ♪ YOU DECIDED TO SMILE 466 00:24:32,666 --> 00:24:35,666 ♪ PICK OUT A PLEASANT OUTLOOK ♪ 467 00:24:35,699 --> 00:24:38,433 ♪ STICK OUT THAT NOBLE CHIN ♪ 468 00:24:38,467 --> 00:24:40,933 ♪ WIPE OFF THAT FULL-OF-DOUBT LOOK ♪ 469 00:24:40,966 --> 00:24:43,899 ♪ SLAP ON A HAPPY GRIN 470 00:24:43,933 --> 00:24:49,467 ♪ AND SPREAD SUNSHINE ALL OVER THE PLACE ♪ 471 00:24:49,500 --> 00:24:53,366 ♪ JUST PUT ON A HAPPY FACE ♪ 472 00:24:58,699 --> 00:25:01,732 ♪ PUT ON A HAPPY FACE 473 00:25:04,599 --> 00:25:07,533 ♪ PUT ON A HAPPY FACE 474 00:25:07,566 --> 00:25:10,666 ♪ AND IF YOU'RE FEELING CROSS AND BICKERISH ♪ 475 00:25:10,699 --> 00:25:13,333 ♪ DON'T SIT AND WHINE ♪ 476 00:25:13,366 --> 00:25:16,366 ♪ THINK OF BANANA SPLITS AND LICORICE ♪ 477 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,200 ♪ AND YOU'LL FEEL FINE 478 00:25:19,233 --> 00:25:21,599 ♪ I KNEW A GIRL SO GLOOMY ♪ 479 00:25:21,632 --> 00:25:23,933 ♪ SHE'D NEVER LAUGH OR SING... ♪ 480 00:25:23,966 --> 00:25:25,166 ( laughs ) 481 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,766 ♪ SHE WOULDN'T LISTEN TO ME ♪ 482 00:25:27,799 --> 00:25:30,166 ♪ NOW SHE'S A MEAN OLD THING ♪ 483 00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:36,266 ♪ SO SPREAD SUNSHINE ALL OVER THE PLACE ♪ 484 00:25:36,300 --> 00:25:40,467 ♪ JUST PUT ON A HAPPY FACE. ♪ 485 00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:45,366 ( applause ) 486 00:28:14,266 --> 00:28:16,632 Man on PA: Your attention, please. 487 00:28:16,666 --> 00:28:19,833 train number 463... 488 00:28:19,866 --> 00:28:21,333 ROSIE! 489 00:28:21,366 --> 00:28:22,799 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 490 00:28:22,833 --> 00:28:24,933 CARRYING OUR LUGGAGE WITH NO HELP FROM YOU, ALBERT. 491 00:28:24,966 --> 00:28:28,233 I DON'T SUPPOSE A GENEROUS TIP WOULD HELP? 492 00:28:28,266 --> 00:28:31,300 WE'VE GOT TO GET TO THOSE REPORTERS BEFORE THEY GET TO CONRAD. 493 00:28:31,333 --> 00:28:33,833 - WAIT, I CAN'T GO. - WHY NOT? 494 00:28:33,866 --> 00:28:35,400 I HAVE TO WAIT FOR MOMMA. 495 00:28:35,433 --> 00:28:37,566 YOU HAVEN'T TOLD HER ABOUT DISSOLVING ALMAELOU YET? 496 00:28:37,599 --> 00:28:39,266 I COULDN'T, ROSE. 497 00:28:39,300 --> 00:28:40,300 YESTERDAY WAS THE ANNIVERSARY. 498 00:28:40,333 --> 00:28:41,933 - OF WHAT? - LOU. 499 00:28:41,966 --> 00:28:45,599 SIX YEARS AGO, HE WAS HIT ON 181st STREET AND BROADWAY 500 00:28:45,632 --> 00:28:46,866 BY A LOADED BEER TRUCK. 501 00:28:46,899 --> 00:28:49,266 Woman: YOO-HOO! 502 00:28:49,300 --> 00:28:51,366 GEE, YOU SUPPOSE THAT COULD BE MOMMA? 503 00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:54,233 - IT'S EITHER HER OR THE ALL CLEAR. - SONNY BOY! 504 00:28:54,266 --> 00:28:55,599 MOMMA! OH! 505 00:28:57,300 --> 00:28:58,933 MOMMA, WHAT'S THE MATTER? 506 00:28:58,966 --> 00:29:00,666 DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME, SONNY BOY. 507 00:29:00,699 --> 00:29:02,799 I'M JUST A LITTLE FAINT FROM THE SUBWAY. 508 00:29:02,833 --> 00:29:05,400 MOMMA, I TOLD YOU TO TAKE A TAXI. 509 00:29:05,433 --> 00:29:07,433 TAXIS. WHAT DO I NEED WITH TAXIS? 510 00:29:07,467 --> 00:29:09,433 I'LL LEAVE THE TAXIS FOR MY SUCCESSFUL SON. 511 00:29:09,467 --> 00:29:12,899 A MOTHER CAN RIDE CROWDED IN A DIRTY SUBWAY FULL OF FOREIGN PEOPLE 512 00:29:12,933 --> 00:29:15,899 WHO WOULDN'T GIVE YOU A SEAT IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDED ON IT. 513 00:29:15,933 --> 00:29:16,899 BUT WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? 514 00:29:16,933 --> 00:29:20,366 NOWADAYS, A MOTHER IS LOWER THAT DIRT ANYWAY. 515 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:22,799 SO HERE'S THE MONEY THAT I SAVED 516 00:29:22,833 --> 00:29:24,366 FROM NOT TAKING THE TAXI. 517 00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:26,632 BUY SOME CANDY WITH IT. 518 00:29:26,666 --> 00:29:27,933 WHO IS SHE? 519 00:29:27,966 --> 00:29:30,566 MOMMA, YOU REMEMBER ROSE ALVAREZ FROM THE OFFICE? 520 00:29:30,599 --> 00:29:33,333 THIS IS ROSE ALVAREZ? 521 00:29:33,366 --> 00:29:36,599 PRETTY LITTLE ROSE ALVAREZ? I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! 522 00:29:36,632 --> 00:29:38,266 ROSE, WHAT HAPPENED? 523 00:29:38,300 --> 00:29:40,200 YOU HAD A SUDDEN SHOCK OR SOMETHING? 524 00:29:40,233 --> 00:29:41,433 ALBERT. 525 00:29:41,467 --> 00:29:44,233 LOOK AT HER, SONNY BOY, HOW NICE SHE LOOKS. 526 00:29:44,266 --> 00:29:46,732 IT'S A WONDER SOME OLDER MAN DOESN'T SNATCH HER OFF. 527 00:29:46,766 --> 00:29:49,866 WHAT A CATCH YOU'D BE FOR A CONVALESCENT. 528 00:29:49,899 --> 00:29:52,566 - GOODBYE, ROSE. - GOODBYE, MAE. 529 00:29:52,599 --> 00:29:54,533 CALL ME MRS. PETERSON. 530 00:29:54,566 --> 00:29:57,200 ALBERT! 531 00:29:58,500 --> 00:30:01,467 MOMMA, WHAT I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT 532 00:30:01,500 --> 00:30:03,833 ACTUALLY INVOLVES ROSE. 533 00:30:03,866 --> 00:30:06,166 ( clears throat ) MAYBE YOU SHOULD SIT DOWN, MOMMA. 534 00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:09,866 WHY? I KNOW MY SONNY BOY. HE LOVES HIS MOMMA. 535 00:30:09,899 --> 00:30:12,566 HE ISN'T GOING TO SAY ANYTHING THAT'D BREAK HER HEART. 536 00:30:12,599 --> 00:30:15,166 GO AHEAD, DEAR. WHAT ABOUT, UH... 537 00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:16,467 - ROSE. - ROSE? 538 00:30:16,500 --> 00:30:18,899 - IT'S ABOUT LOU, TOO. - LOU! 539 00:30:18,933 --> 00:30:20,200 LOU! 540 00:30:21,632 --> 00:30:23,300 WHERE ARE YOU, LOU? 541 00:30:23,333 --> 00:30:25,266 STRUCK DOWN BY A BEVERAGE 542 00:30:25,300 --> 00:30:27,467 I CONSUMED FAITHFULLY FOR 32 YEARS. 543 00:30:27,500 --> 00:30:29,233 WHAT ABOUT LOU? 544 00:30:29,266 --> 00:30:31,233 WELL, MOMMA... 545 00:30:31,266 --> 00:30:34,233 ROSE FEELS, AND I AGREE, 546 00:30:34,266 --> 00:30:37,433 THAT MAYBE I SHOULD GIVE UP ALMAELOU. 547 00:30:37,467 --> 00:30:38,766 - OH! - WHAT'S THE MATTER, MOMMA? 548 00:30:38,799 --> 00:30:41,166 NOTHING IS THE MATTER. YOU KILLED ME, THAT'S ALL. 549 00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:43,699 LOU, I'M COMING! I'M ON MY WAY UP! 550 00:30:43,732 --> 00:30:44,732 MOMMA, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 551 00:30:44,766 --> 00:30:46,899 IT'S JUST ROSE-- NEVER MIND. 552 00:30:46,933 --> 00:30:48,799 TAKE THE MONEY AND TAKE A TAXI. 553 00:30:48,833 --> 00:30:50,200 THE SUBWAY IS TOO CROWDED! 554 00:30:50,233 --> 00:30:51,933 NOTHING IS TOO CROWDED FOR A MOTHER. 555 00:30:51,966 --> 00:30:54,666 I'LL GO DURING THE RUSH HOUR. THAT'S THE WORST TIME. 556 00:30:54,699 --> 00:30:56,933 WAIT A MINUTE. HOW MANY BLOCKS IS IT? 557 00:30:56,966 --> 00:30:59,333 ONLY 107? I'LL WALK. 558 00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:03,200 ENJOY YOURSELF, SON. TAKE CARE. 559 00:31:03,233 --> 00:31:05,166 WEAR YOUR HEAVY COAT. 560 00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:06,566 BE CAREFUL CROSSING THE STREET. 561 00:31:06,599 --> 00:31:08,699 KEEP YOUR MONEY IN YOUR INSIDE POCKET. 562 00:31:08,732 --> 00:31:11,833 AND, UH, WEAR YOUR RUBBERS. 563 00:31:13,333 --> 00:31:15,233 AND, UH... 564 00:31:16,467 --> 00:31:18,866 EAT A HOT LUNCH. 565 00:31:20,766 --> 00:31:22,200 Girl: HE'S HERE! HE'S HERE! 566 00:31:22,233 --> 00:31:24,933 CONRAD BIRDIE'S HERE! 567 00:31:24,966 --> 00:31:27,133 ( girls screaming ) 568 00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:31,200 Man on PA: Your attention, please. 569 00:31:31,233 --> 00:31:35,200 Announcing the departure of train number 314, 570 00:31:35,233 --> 00:31:37,366 express deluxe service 571 00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:41,333 to Scranton, Pittsburgh, Wheeling, Columbus, 572 00:31:41,366 --> 00:31:43,433 with connections to Zanesville, 573 00:31:43,467 --> 00:31:46,400 Sweet Apple and Moundsville, 574 00:31:46,433 --> 00:31:49,400 now departing, track number five. 575 00:31:49,433 --> 00:31:51,333 All aboard! 576 00:31:51,366 --> 00:31:53,566 HOW ABOUT ANSWERING A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS, CONRAD? 577 00:31:53,599 --> 00:31:56,467 - SURE. - HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT GOING INTO THE ARMY? 578 00:31:56,500 --> 00:31:59,500 HOW DOES HE FEEL? YOU ASK HOW HE FEELS. 579 00:31:59,533 --> 00:32:01,266 HE'S MUCH TOO SHY TO TELL YOU, 580 00:32:01,300 --> 00:32:02,899 SO I'LL TELL YOU HOW HE FEELS. 581 00:32:02,933 --> 00:32:05,200 ♪ HE FEELS BRAVE AND EAGER ♪ 582 00:32:05,233 --> 00:32:06,666 ♪ STRANGELY HUMBLE 583 00:32:06,699 --> 00:32:08,933 ♪ PROUD TO BE A PLAIN G.I. ♪ 584 00:32:08,966 --> 00:32:12,166 ♪ HE WOULD GLADLY FACE THOSE BULLETS ♪ 585 00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:14,333 ♪ FOR HE'S NOT AFRAID TO DIE ♪ 586 00:32:14,366 --> 00:32:18,599 ♪ FOR HE'S A FINE, UPSTANDING, PATRIOTIC ♪ 587 00:32:18,632 --> 00:32:21,599 ♪ HEALTHY, NORMAL AMERICAN BOY... ♪ 588 00:32:21,632 --> 00:32:23,933 AND THAT'S WHY HE VOLUNTEERED. 589 00:32:23,966 --> 00:32:25,799 VOLUNTEERED? I THOUGHT HE WAS DRAFTED. 590 00:32:25,833 --> 00:32:27,433 AND HE APPEALED THREE TIMES! 591 00:32:27,467 --> 00:32:31,833 - SING. - ♪ WE LOVE YOU, CONRAD, OH YES, WE DO ♪ 592 00:32:31,866 --> 00:32:35,400 ♪ WE LOVE YOU, CONRAD, AND WE'LL BE TRUE ♪ 593 00:32:35,433 --> 00:32:39,166 ♪ WHEN YOU'RE NOT NEAR US, WE'RE BLUE ♪ 594 00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:42,533 ♪ OH, CONRAD, WE LOVE YOU... ♪ 595 00:32:42,566 --> 00:32:46,266 - VERY NICE. - WHAT'S THE PICTURE ON YOU AND THAT HOLLYWOOD? 596 00:32:46,300 --> 00:32:49,333 - ARE YOU TWO ENGAGED? - IS HE ENGAGED? 597 00:32:49,366 --> 00:32:50,933 IS CONRAD ENGAGED? 598 00:32:50,966 --> 00:32:54,166 THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO THE RUMOR HE'S ENGAGED. 599 00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:57,333 ♪ SHE'S A REAL PAL, LIKE A SISTER ♪ 600 00:32:57,366 --> 00:33:00,433 ♪ BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN A THING ♪ 601 00:33:00,467 --> 00:33:03,500 ♪ AND THAT 18-CARAT DIAMOND ♪ 602 00:33:03,533 --> 00:33:05,899 ♪ IT WAS JUST A FRIENDSHIP RING ♪ 603 00:33:05,933 --> 00:33:10,833 ♪ FOR HE'S A FINE, UPSTANDING, PATRIOTIC ♪ 604 00:33:10,866 --> 00:33:14,300 ♪ HEALTHY, NORMAL AMERICAN BOY... ♪ 605 00:33:14,333 --> 00:33:16,166 THEN WHY WAS HER HUSBAND SO MAD? 606 00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:18,766 - SING! - ♪ WE LOVE YOU, CONRAD 607 00:33:18,799 --> 00:33:20,833 - OKAY, OKAY. - ♪ OH YES, WE DO 608 00:33:20,866 --> 00:33:23,433 ♪ WE LOVE YOU, CONRAD, AND WE'LL BE TRUE... ♪ 609 00:33:23,467 --> 00:33:25,233 I'LL NEVER FORGET CONRAD'S FIRST WORDS 610 00:33:25,266 --> 00:33:27,433 WHEN HE HEARD HE'D BEEN ACCEPTED BY THE ARMED FORCES. 611 00:33:27,467 --> 00:33:29,200 "GEE, MR. PETERSON," HE CRIED EAGERLY, 612 00:33:29,233 --> 00:33:31,599 "YOU THINK THEY'LL ASSIGN ME TO ONE OF THOSE TRENCHES? 613 00:33:31,632 --> 00:33:34,732 THAT WAY I'M SURE TO GET MY HANDS ON OF THEM DIRTY JERRIES!" 614 00:33:34,766 --> 00:33:36,833 - ALBERT. - OR WHOEVER'S DIRTY THIS TIME. 615 00:33:36,866 --> 00:33:40,866 IS IT TRUE YOU FOUND CONRAD IN A REFORM SCHOOL? 616 00:33:40,899 --> 00:33:43,933 Together: ♪ THAT IS A LIE, A LIE THROUGH AND THROUGH ♪ 617 00:33:43,966 --> 00:33:46,300 ♪ I'LL TELL YOU WHERE HE CAME FROM ♪ 618 00:33:46,333 --> 00:33:48,200 ♪ HERE'S THE STORY, AND IT'S TRUE ♪ 619 00:33:48,233 --> 00:33:50,599 ♪ HE WAS BORN IN INDOCHINA ♪ 620 00:33:50,632 --> 00:33:52,400 ♪ HE WAS BORN IN OLD VIRGINNY ♪ 621 00:33:52,433 --> 00:33:55,833 - ♪ SON OF MISSIONARIES THERE - ♪ ON A 1000-ACRE FARM 622 00:33:55,866 --> 00:33:57,833 ♪ VERY POOR AND VERY HUNGRY ♪ 623 00:33:57,866 --> 00:34:00,200 ♪ FROM A LINE OF WEALTHY PLANTERS ♪ 624 00:34:00,233 --> 00:34:03,699 - ♪ WHAT A CRUEL LIFE TO BEAR - ♪ FULL OF GENTEEL SOUTHERN CHARM ♪ 625 00:34:03,732 --> 00:34:05,899 ♪ THEN HE DRIFTED DOWN TO HONG KONG ♪ 626 00:34:05,933 --> 00:34:08,699 - ♪ EVERY EVENING BY THE RIVER - ♪ TO A WATERFRONT SALOON 627 00:34:08,732 --> 00:34:10,699 ♪ IN THE MOONLIGHT THEY WOULD CROON ♪ 628 00:34:10,732 --> 00:34:12,933 ♪ THAT IS WHERE WE HEARD HIM SINGING ♪ 629 00:34:12,966 --> 00:34:14,366 ♪ THAT'S WHERE CONRAD STARTED SINGING ♪ 630 00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:16,333 ♪ 'NEATH THAT DIRTY HONG KONG MOON ♪ 631 00:34:16,366 --> 00:34:17,899 ♪ 'NEATH THAT OLD PLANTATION MOON ♪ 632 00:34:17,933 --> 00:34:21,933 Girls: ♪ WE LOVE YOU, CONRAD, OH YES, WE DO... ♪ 633 00:34:21,966 --> 00:34:24,500 Albert and Rosie: ♪ OH, BEAUTIFUL, FOR SPACIOUS SKIES ♪ 634 00:34:24,533 --> 00:34:28,233 ♪ FOR AMBER WAVES OF GRAIN ♪ 635 00:34:28,266 --> 00:34:31,632 ♪ AMERICA, AMERICA... 636 00:34:31,666 --> 00:34:34,732 ♪ WE LOVE YOU, CONRAD, WE'LL BE TRUE ♪ 637 00:34:34,766 --> 00:34:39,599 ♪ FOR HE'S A FINE, UPSTANDING, AVERAGE, MODEST ♪ 638 00:34:39,632 --> 00:34:43,266 ♪ PATRIOTIC, HEALTHY, NORMAL ♪ 639 00:34:43,300 --> 00:34:44,899 ♪ AMERICAN 640 00:34:44,933 --> 00:34:53,200 ♪ AMERICAN BOY. 641 00:34:53,233 --> 00:34:55,366 ( screaming and cheering ) 642 00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:56,866 ( marching band playing ) 643 00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:07,500 SHH! SHH! 644 00:35:07,533 --> 00:35:09,200 ( music stops ) 645 00:35:09,233 --> 00:35:10,566 ( panting ) 646 00:35:10,599 --> 00:35:13,200 CONRAD BIRDIE, WELCOME TO SWEET APPLE. 647 00:35:13,233 --> 00:35:16,233 BEFORE WE ESCORT YOU TO THE TOWN HALL, 648 00:35:16,266 --> 00:35:17,833 WHERE THE MAYOR HIMSELF IS WAITING, 649 00:35:17,866 --> 00:35:20,200 I WOULD FIRST LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU 650 00:35:20,233 --> 00:35:21,933 TO THE GIRL UPON WHOM YOU HAVE CHOSEN 651 00:35:21,966 --> 00:35:24,467 TO BESTOW YOUR FINAL KISS UPON, 652 00:35:24,500 --> 00:35:25,799 AND WHO WILL NOW LEAD US 653 00:35:25,833 --> 00:35:29,300 IN THE RECITING OF THE CONRAD BIRDIE PLEDGE-- 654 00:35:29,333 --> 00:35:30,433 KIM MacAFEE! 655 00:35:30,467 --> 00:35:32,899 ( cheering ) 656 00:35:36,899 --> 00:35:37,933 I... 657 00:35:37,966 --> 00:35:39,933 KIM MacAFEE, 658 00:35:39,966 --> 00:35:42,200 BEING OF SOUND MIND AND BODY, 659 00:35:42,233 --> 00:35:44,300 DO HEREBY PROMISE 660 00:35:44,333 --> 00:35:48,400 TO BE LOYAL, COURTEOUS, STEADFAST AND TRUE 661 00:35:48,433 --> 00:35:50,933 TO CONRAD BIRDIE 662 00:35:50,966 --> 00:35:53,400 AND THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, 663 00:35:53,433 --> 00:35:55,467 BOTH INDIVISIBLE, 664 00:35:55,500 --> 00:35:59,566 WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL! 665 00:35:59,599 --> 00:36:02,133 ( marching band playing ) 666 00:36:17,933 --> 00:36:19,833 ROSIE, I'M GOING TO GO WITH CONRAD. 667 00:36:19,866 --> 00:36:21,866 YOU STAY HERE AND WATCH THE BAGS. 668 00:36:21,899 --> 00:36:25,599 I'LL SEND A TAXI AS SOON AS I CAN-- IF I CAN FIND ONE. 669 00:36:26,632 --> 00:36:28,500 Kim: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! 670 00:36:28,533 --> 00:36:31,133 ( girls giggling ) 671 00:36:37,233 --> 00:36:39,433 - OKAY. - OKAY, COME ON. 672 00:36:39,467 --> 00:36:41,799 KIM, BEFORE YOU GO, CAN I TALK TO YOU? 673 00:36:41,833 --> 00:36:43,632 RIGHT NOW? COULDN'T IT WAIT? 674 00:36:43,666 --> 00:36:46,366 - WE'RE IN A HURRY. - I DON'T THINK SO, KIM. IT'S IMPORTANT. 675 00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:48,200 HUGO PEABODY, WHAT'S SO IMPORTANT 676 00:36:48,233 --> 00:36:50,333 THAT YOU HAVE TO TALK TO KIM NOW? 677 00:36:50,366 --> 00:36:54,200 WHAT'S SO IMPORTANT?! I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S SO IMPORTANT! 678 00:36:54,233 --> 00:36:56,233 THE DAY AFTER I GIVE HER MY PIN, 679 00:36:56,266 --> 00:36:57,732 SHE GOES KISSING SOMEONE ELSE! 680 00:36:57,766 --> 00:37:00,799 I WANT YOU TO KNOW I'M QUITE UPSET ABOUT THIS. 681 00:37:00,833 --> 00:37:03,233 I'VE HAD SEVERAL HEADACHES AND A NOSEBLEED. 682 00:37:03,266 --> 00:37:06,400 WHY, YOU'RE ACTUALLY JEALOUS OF CONRAD BIRDIE. 683 00:37:06,433 --> 00:37:08,166 ME? JEALOUS? 684 00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:09,933 I'M THE OPPOSITE OF JEALOUS. 685 00:37:09,966 --> 00:37:11,732 I'M VERY JEALOUS, 686 00:37:11,766 --> 00:37:13,699 AND I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE! 687 00:37:13,732 --> 00:37:15,233 KIM'S MY STEADY. 688 00:37:15,266 --> 00:37:18,533 THAT'S JUST IT, HUGO. I'M YOUR STEADY. 689 00:37:18,566 --> 00:37:20,899 I MEAN, I MAY ADMIRE CONRAD BIRDIE 690 00:37:20,933 --> 00:37:24,866 AS ONE ADMIRES A FAR DISTANT UNATTAINABLE IDEAL, 691 00:37:24,899 --> 00:37:27,566 BUT I'M PINNED TO YOU, HUGO, 692 00:37:27,599 --> 00:37:30,400 AND I DON'T CARE HOW COMMON AND ORDINARY YOU ARE. 693 00:37:30,433 --> 00:37:32,200 THAT'S HOW I'M GOING TO STAY. 694 00:37:32,233 --> 00:37:34,866 YOU'RE NOT JUST SAYING THAT TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER? 695 00:37:34,899 --> 00:37:37,266 OH, HUGO, NO. 696 00:37:37,300 --> 00:37:39,233 I MEAN EVERY WORD OF IT. 697 00:37:39,266 --> 00:37:42,933 CONRAD BIRDIE IS JUST A FLING. 698 00:37:42,966 --> 00:37:45,500 A STEADY IS FOREVER. 699 00:37:45,533 --> 00:37:50,732 ♪ ONE BOY, ONE SPECIAL BOY ♪ 700 00:37:50,766 --> 00:37:55,233 ♪ ONE BOY TO GO WITH, TO TALK WITH AND WALK WITH ♪ 701 00:37:55,266 --> 00:37:58,433 ♪ ONE BOY 702 00:37:58,467 --> 00:38:03,566 ♪ THAT'S THE WAY IT SHOULD BE ♪ 703 00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:09,866 ♪ ONE BOY, ONE CERTAIN BOY ♪ 704 00:38:09,899 --> 00:38:14,699 ♪ ONE BOY TO LAUGH WITH, TO JOKE WITH, HAVE COKE WITH ♪ 705 00:38:14,732 --> 00:38:17,899 ♪ ONE BOY 706 00:38:17,933 --> 00:38:24,233 ♪ NOT TWO OR THREE 707 00:38:24,266 --> 00:38:29,666 ♪ ONE DAY, YOU'LL FIND OUT ♪ 708 00:38:29,699 --> 00:38:34,233 ♪ THIS IS WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT ♪ 709 00:38:34,266 --> 00:38:39,266 ♪ YOU NEED SOMEONE WHO 710 00:38:39,300 --> 00:38:44,666 ♪ IS LIVING JUST FOR YOU ♪ 711 00:38:44,699 --> 00:38:49,366 ♪ ONE BOY, ONE STEADY BOY ♪ 712 00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:54,599 ♪ ONE BOY TO BE WITH FOREVER AND EVER ♪ 713 00:38:54,632 --> 00:38:57,533 ♪ ONE BOY 714 00:38:57,566 --> 00:39:01,766 ♪ THAT'S THE WAY IT SHOULD BE ♪ 715 00:39:01,799 --> 00:39:06,133 ♪ THAT'S THE WAY IT SHOULD BE... ♪ 716 00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:10,766 OH, KIM, I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER NOW. 717 00:39:10,799 --> 00:39:13,200 ALL THOUGHTS OF A NOSEBLEED HAVE UTTERLY VANISHED. 718 00:39:13,233 --> 00:39:15,500 YOU WERE SILLY TO WORRY, HUGO. 719 00:39:15,533 --> 00:39:19,266 CONRAD BIRDIE MAY BE A GREAT PUBLIC FIGURE, 720 00:39:19,300 --> 00:39:22,699 BUT HE DOESN'T MAKE ME FEEL ALL FAINT AND DIZZY 721 00:39:22,732 --> 00:39:24,233 WHEN I THINK OF HIM. 722 00:39:24,266 --> 00:39:26,333 ONLY MY STEADY DOES THAT. 723 00:39:26,366 --> 00:39:30,433 WHY, EVEN WHEN I SAY HIS NAME, I DON'T FEEL A THING. LISTEN-- 724 00:39:30,467 --> 00:39:33,133 CONRAD BIRDIE. 725 00:39:34,632 --> 00:39:36,400 CONRAD BIRDIE. 726 00:39:36,433 --> 00:39:38,666 CONRAD... 727 00:39:39,833 --> 00:39:41,133 BIRDIE. 728 00:39:43,533 --> 00:39:47,933 ♪ ONE BOY, ONE STEADY BOY ♪ 729 00:39:47,966 --> 00:39:53,166 ♪ ONE BOY TO BE WITH FOREVER AND EVER ♪ 730 00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:56,166 ♪ ONE BOY 731 00:39:56,200 --> 00:40:00,533 ♪ THAT'S THE WAY IT SHOULD BE ♪ 732 00:40:00,566 --> 00:40:05,400 ♪ THAT'S THE WAY IT SHOULD BE ♪ 733 00:40:05,433 --> 00:40:11,433 ♪ THAT'S THE WAY IT SHOULD BE. ♪ 734 00:40:31,966 --> 00:40:35,133 OH, ALBERT, YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY. 735 00:40:39,233 --> 00:40:43,200 ♪ CAN'T SHAKE THAT DREAM OF YOU AND ME ♪ 736 00:40:43,233 --> 00:40:45,766 ♪ IN SOME LITTLE TOWN 737 00:40:45,799 --> 00:40:48,899 ♪ IF YOU'D SHAPE UP 738 00:40:48,933 --> 00:40:53,300 ♪ WE'D SETTLE DOWN 739 00:40:53,333 --> 00:40:58,567 ♪ LEAVE THE MESS AND THE STRESS OF BIG-CITY LIVING ♪ 740 00:40:58,599 --> 00:41:01,166 ♪ TRADE THAT GRABBING AND SHOVING ♪ 741 00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:03,933 ♪ FOR LOVING AND GIVING 742 00:41:03,966 --> 00:41:06,766 ♪ I'M TIRED OF YOUR TALKING ♪ 743 00:41:06,799 --> 00:41:11,533 ♪ I WANT IT NOW 744 00:41:11,567 --> 00:41:15,333 ♪ THAT HOUSE AND YARD WITH ONLY BIRDS ♪ 745 00:41:15,366 --> 00:41:17,933 ♪ BRINGING SONGS AROUND 746 00:41:17,966 --> 00:41:20,899 ♪ DON'T BE AFRAID 747 00:41:20,933 --> 00:41:23,500 ♪ TO SETTLE DOWN 748 00:41:23,533 --> 00:41:25,366 ♪ THAT GREEN STUFF'S GRASS ♪ 749 00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:28,333 ♪ AND THAT SMELL EVERYWHERE ♪ 750 00:41:28,366 --> 00:41:30,567 ♪ KNOW WHAT THAT IS? 751 00:41:30,599 --> 00:41:39,166 ♪ FRESH AIR 752 00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:42,467 ♪ THE YEARS ARE GOING BY SO FAST ♪ 753 00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:48,200 ♪ HEY, IT'S TIME WE FOUND SOME PEACE OF MIND ♪ 754 00:41:48,233 --> 00:41:52,333 ♪ OUR PIECE OF GROUND 755 00:41:52,366 --> 00:41:58,599 ♪ LET'S SETTLE DOWN. 756 00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:16,567 - ( marching band playing ) - ( screaming and cheering ) 757 00:42:22,666 --> 00:42:25,233 Woman: NOW BE CAREFUL, GIRLS! 758 00:42:30,533 --> 00:42:32,833 IT GIVES ME GREAT PLEASURE TO PRESENT TO YOU 759 00:42:32,866 --> 00:42:35,699 THIS GENUINE, 14-KARAT SOLID GOLD KEY 760 00:42:35,732 --> 00:42:37,833 SO GENEROUSLY DONATED BY THE MEN 761 00:42:37,866 --> 00:42:39,567 AT THE SWEET APPLE BRASS WORKS. 762 00:42:39,599 --> 00:42:42,732 AS I PRESENT THIS KEY TO YOU, CONRAD BIRDIE-- 763 00:42:42,766 --> 00:42:44,233 - ( girl shrieks ) - HE SAID IT! 764 00:42:44,266 --> 00:42:46,933 HE SAID THE NAME! 765 00:42:46,966 --> 00:42:48,500 ( screaming ) 766 00:42:48,533 --> 00:42:51,266 WHAT HAPPENED? ALL I SAID WAS "CONRAD BIRDIE." 767 00:42:51,300 --> 00:42:53,200 ( screaming ) 768 00:42:54,666 --> 00:42:57,533 IF YOU GIRLS DON'T STOP, I CAN'T FINISH MY SPEECH. 769 00:42:57,567 --> 00:42:59,666 WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR SPEECH? 770 00:42:59,699 --> 00:43:02,300 WE WANT TO HEAR FROM CONRAD! 771 00:43:03,599 --> 00:43:06,433 SPEAK TO US, O BEAUTIFUL ONE! 772 00:43:06,467 --> 00:43:08,567 TELL US HOW YOU MAKE THAT WONDROUS SOUND 773 00:43:08,599 --> 00:43:11,500 THAT EVEN NOW, IN ANTICIPATION OF IT, 774 00:43:11,533 --> 00:43:14,200 HAS REDUCED ME TO A SNARLING, RAGING, 775 00:43:14,233 --> 00:43:16,833 PANTING JUNGLE BEAST! 776 00:43:20,732 --> 00:43:22,233 ( guitar playing ) 777 00:43:22,266 --> 00:43:26,933 ♪ YOU GOTTA BE SINCERE... ♪ 778 00:43:26,966 --> 00:43:29,266 - OHH... - EDNA, WHAT'S THE MATTER? 779 00:43:29,300 --> 00:43:34,933 ♪ YOU GOTTA BE SINCERE 780 00:43:34,966 --> 00:43:37,233 ♪ YOU GOTTA FEEL IT HERE ♪ 781 00:43:37,266 --> 00:43:40,166 ♪ 'CAUSE IF YOU FEEL IT HERE ♪ 782 00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:42,766 ♪ WELL, THEN, YOU'RE GONNA BE ♪ 783 00:43:42,799 --> 00:43:44,533 ♪ HONESTLY 784 00:43:44,567 --> 00:43:46,300 ♪ SINCERE 785 00:43:50,666 --> 00:43:54,266 ♪ IF WHAT YOU FEEL IS TRUE ♪ 786 00:43:54,300 --> 00:43:55,766 ♪ REALLY FEEL IT 787 00:43:55,799 --> 00:43:59,166 ♪ YOU MAKE THEM FEEL IT, TOO ♪ 788 00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:00,899 ♪ WRITE THIS DOWN NOW 789 00:44:00,933 --> 00:44:03,666 ♪ YOU GOTTA BE SINCERE 790 00:44:03,699 --> 00:44:06,433 ♪ HONESTLY SINCERE 791 00:44:06,467 --> 00:44:09,400 ♪ MAN, YOU GOTTA BE 792 00:44:09,433 --> 00:44:16,166 ♪ SINCERE 793 00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:18,500 ♪ IF YOU'RE REALLY SINCERE ♪ 794 00:44:18,533 --> 00:44:20,533 ♪ IF YOU'RE REALLY SINCERE ♪ 795 00:44:20,567 --> 00:44:22,866 ♪ IF YOU FEEL IT IN HERE ♪ 796 00:44:22,899 --> 00:44:26,200 ♪ THEN IT'S GOTTA BE RIGHT, OH, BABY! ♪ 797 00:44:26,233 --> 00:44:28,166 ♪ OH, HONEY! 798 00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:30,300 ♪ HUG ME 799 00:44:30,333 --> 00:44:32,433 ♪ SUFFER 800 00:44:37,567 --> 00:44:41,233 ♪ IN EVERYTHING I DO 801 00:44:41,266 --> 00:44:45,533 ♪ MY SINCERITY SHOWS THROUGH ♪ 802 00:44:45,567 --> 00:44:48,632 ♪ I LOOK YOU IN THE EYE 803 00:44:48,666 --> 00:44:51,833 ♪ DON'T EVEN HAVE TO TRY, IT'S AUTOMATIC ♪ 804 00:44:51,866 --> 00:44:55,933 - ♪ I'M SINCERE - OH! OH! 805 00:44:55,966 --> 00:45:00,400 ♪ WHEN I SING ABOUT A TREE ♪ 806 00:45:00,433 --> 00:45:04,599 ♪ I REALLY FEEL THAT TREE ♪ 807 00:45:04,632 --> 00:45:07,699 ♪ WHEN I SING ABOUT A GIRL ♪ 808 00:45:07,732 --> 00:45:09,599 ♪ OH, I REALLY FEEL THAT GIRL ♪ 809 00:45:09,632 --> 00:45:12,933 ♪ OH, I MEAN, I REALLY FEEL ♪ 810 00:45:12,966 --> 00:45:19,200 ♪ SINCERE 811 00:45:20,233 --> 00:45:21,632 ♪ IF YOU'RE REALLY SINCERE ♪ 812 00:45:21,666 --> 00:45:23,799 ♪ IF YOU'RE REALLY SINCERE ♪ 813 00:45:23,833 --> 00:45:25,933 ♪ IF YOU FEEL IT IN HERE ♪ 814 00:45:25,966 --> 00:45:27,666 ♪ THEN IT'S GOTTA BE RIGHT ♪ 815 00:45:27,699 --> 00:45:29,300 ♪ OH, BABY! 816 00:45:29,333 --> 00:45:31,400 ♪ OH, HONEY! 817 00:45:31,433 --> 00:45:33,400 ♪ HUG ME 818 00:45:33,433 --> 00:45:34,699 ♪ SUFFER 819 00:45:39,933 --> 00:45:43,699 ♪ YOU GOTTA BE SINCERE, OH, OH ♪ 820 00:45:43,732 --> 00:45:46,799 ♪ OH, MAN, YOU GOTTA FEEL IT HERE ♪ 821 00:45:46,833 --> 00:45:48,333 ♪ OH, MY BABY 822 00:45:48,366 --> 00:45:50,467 ♪ WHOA, MY BABY 823 00:45:50,500 --> 00:45:52,467 ♪ OH, YEAH 824 00:45:52,500 --> 00:45:54,666 ♪ OH, MY BABY 825 00:45:54,699 --> 00:45:56,166 ♪ WHOA, YEAH 826 00:46:03,599 --> 00:46:05,400 ♪ WELL, YOU GONNA BE SINCERE? ♪ 827 00:46:05,433 --> 00:46:07,266 ♪ WELL, YOU GONNA BE SINCERE? ♪ 828 00:46:07,300 --> 00:46:08,066 YEAH! 829 00:46:08,099 --> 00:46:10,166 ♪ WELL, YOU GONNA BE SINCERE? ♪ 830 00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:12,200 - ♪ YOU GONNA BE SINCERE? - YEAH! 831 00:46:12,233 --> 00:46:13,533 ♪ WELL, YOU GONNA BE SINCERE? ♪ 832 00:46:13,567 --> 00:46:15,166 ♪ YOU GONNA BE SINCERE? ♪ 833 00:46:15,200 --> 00:46:16,433 YEAH! 834 00:46:16,467 --> 00:46:18,233 ♪ OH, MY BABY 835 00:46:18,266 --> 00:46:20,266 ♪ OH, YEAH 836 00:46:20,300 --> 00:46:22,200 ♪ OH, MY BABY 837 00:46:22,233 --> 00:46:24,166 ♪ OH, YEAH 838 00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:25,632 ♪ WELL, YOU'RE GONNA BE SINCERE ♪ 839 00:46:25,666 --> 00:46:27,266 ♪ YEAH, YOU'RE GONNA BE SINCERE ♪ 840 00:46:27,300 --> 00:46:28,933 ♪ OH, MY BABY 841 00:46:28,966 --> 00:46:31,200 ♪ OH, YEAH 842 00:46:31,233 --> 00:46:33,166 ♪ OH, MY BABY 843 00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:34,833 ♪ OH, YEAH 844 00:46:34,866 --> 00:46:36,666 ♪ OH, MY BABY 845 00:46:36,699 --> 00:46:39,233 ♪ OH, YEAH 846 00:46:39,266 --> 00:46:41,200 ♪ OH, MY BABY... 847 00:46:41,233 --> 00:46:43,166 AAH! 848 00:46:45,666 --> 00:46:47,899 THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 849 00:46:47,933 --> 00:46:50,166 ♪ OHHH 850 00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:55,732 ♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 851 00:46:56,766 --> 00:46:58,233 OHH... 852 00:46:58,266 --> 00:47:00,200 WHOO! 853 00:47:03,266 --> 00:47:05,766 ( car doors shut ) 854 00:47:07,333 --> 00:47:09,300 ( faint voices approaching ) 855 00:47:12,933 --> 00:47:16,333 IT IS SUCH AN HONOR TO HAVE YOU IN OUR HOME, MR. BIRDIE. 856 00:47:16,366 --> 00:47:20,166 CONRAD, LET ME SHOW YOU UP TO YOUR ROOM. 857 00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:22,533 HARRY WILL BE UP WITH YOUR LUGGAGE SHORTLY. 858 00:47:22,567 --> 00:47:25,533 RANDOLPH, TAKE MISS ALVAREZ AND MR. PETERSON'S UP. 859 00:47:25,567 --> 00:47:28,366 WE'D HAVE TO DO A LITTLE PHOTO SHOOT OR SOMETHING HERE. 860 00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:32,166 ED WOULD LOVE THIS. OH, MY GOODNESS. 861 00:47:32,200 --> 00:47:33,866 ALBERT, WHY ARE WE DOING THIS? 862 00:47:33,899 --> 00:47:35,400 I MADE RESERVATIONS AT THE HOTEL. 863 00:47:35,433 --> 00:47:37,899 - THE HOTEL IS MILES AWAY. - AND YOU'D HAVE TO PAY. 864 00:47:37,933 --> 00:47:39,899 THAT'S RI-- THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. 865 00:47:39,933 --> 00:47:43,233 I THINK WE SHOULD KEEP A CLOSE WATCH ON CONRAD. 866 00:47:43,266 --> 00:47:44,799 WHY KEEP A CLOSE WATCH? 867 00:47:44,833 --> 00:47:46,833 YEAH, WE SHOULD STAY HERE. 868 00:47:48,467 --> 00:47:50,632 I'M SURE YOU'D LIKE TO FRESHEN UP. 869 00:47:50,666 --> 00:47:52,233 WHY DON'T YOU GO RIGHT UPSTAIRS? 870 00:47:52,266 --> 00:47:54,666 THANK YOU, MRS. MacAFEE, YOU'RE REALLY VERY KIND. 871 00:47:54,699 --> 00:47:57,732 NONSENSE, WE'RE THRILLED TO HAVE YOU STAY WITH US. 872 00:47:57,766 --> 00:47:59,799 MI CASA ES YOUR CASA. 873 00:47:59,833 --> 00:48:02,333 SI. 874 00:48:02,366 --> 00:48:04,632 OH, MRS. MacAFEE? 875 00:48:04,666 --> 00:48:07,233 IF MY MOTHER SHOULD CALL, WOULD YOU LET ME KNOW? 876 00:48:07,266 --> 00:48:10,467 IS SHE HERE, TOO? WE'D LOVE TO HAVE HER STAY WITH US. 877 00:48:10,500 --> 00:48:11,866 I DOUBT SHE'LL BE COMING. 878 00:48:11,899 --> 00:48:15,200 SHE'S NOT IN THE BEST OF HEALTH. ( coughs ) 879 00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:17,300 TAKE THEM UPSTAIRS, HARRY. 880 00:48:17,333 --> 00:48:19,533 MR. PETERSON WILL STAY IN THE SPARE ROOM. 881 00:48:19,567 --> 00:48:22,666 MISS ALVAREZ WILL ROOM WITH KIM. ISN'T THAT CUTE? 882 00:48:22,699 --> 00:48:25,166 CONRAD BIRDIE IS STAYING IN OUR ROOM. 883 00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:26,933 - WHERE ARE WE STAYING? - WITH RANDOLPH. 884 00:48:26,966 --> 00:48:28,467 ISN'T THAT CUTE? 885 00:48:28,500 --> 00:48:30,233 ( dog barking ) 886 00:48:38,433 --> 00:48:40,233 ( sighs ) 887 00:48:50,766 --> 00:48:52,899 - ( snoring ) - ( sighs ) 888 00:49:01,799 --> 00:49:04,300 ( muffled ) AAH! OH! 889 00:49:07,300 --> 00:49:09,200 WHAT DO YOU WANT, THE WHOLE BED? 890 00:49:09,233 --> 00:49:12,266 ROLL OVER. I CAN'T BREATHE. 891 00:49:12,300 --> 00:49:14,732 THEN STOP ROLLING UNDER ME. 892 00:49:14,766 --> 00:49:17,200 IT FEELS LIKE I'M SLEEPING ON A PEBBLE. 893 00:49:17,233 --> 00:49:18,866 NOT A PEBBLE. YOU MEAN A PEA. 894 00:49:18,899 --> 00:49:20,899 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, "A PEA?" 895 00:49:20,933 --> 00:49:22,599 A PEA! 896 00:49:22,632 --> 00:49:25,200 GET UP AND GO TO THE BATHROOM, DEAR. 897 00:49:25,233 --> 00:49:27,467 NO, "THE PRINCESS AND THE PEA." 898 00:49:27,500 --> 00:49:30,533 THEY TESTED HER TO SEE IF SHE WAS A REAL PRINCESS. 899 00:49:30,567 --> 00:49:32,699 THEY PUT A TINY PEA UNDER HER MATTRESS 900 00:49:32,732 --> 00:49:34,533 TO SEE IF SHE COULD FEEL IT. 901 00:49:34,567 --> 00:49:36,266 AND SHE DID. 902 00:49:36,300 --> 00:49:40,200 SO I AM A REAL PRINCESS AFTER ALL! 903 00:49:40,233 --> 00:49:42,366 DAD! 904 00:49:45,899 --> 00:49:48,467 ( girls singing hoarsely ) ♪ WE LOVE YOU, CONRAD 905 00:49:48,500 --> 00:49:50,732 ♪ OH YES, WE DO 906 00:49:50,766 --> 00:49:55,200 ♪ WE LOVE YOU, CONRAD, AND WE'LL BE TRUE ♪ 907 00:49:55,233 --> 00:49:59,799 ♪ WHEN YOU'RE NOT NEAR US, WE'RE BLUE ♪ 908 00:49:59,833 --> 00:50:03,766 ♪ OH, CONRAD, WE LOVE YOU. ♪ 909 00:50:03,799 --> 00:50:05,899 Helen: I'M TIRED, URSULA. 910 00:50:05,933 --> 00:50:08,266 WE'VE BEEN HERE ALL NIGHT. 911 00:50:08,300 --> 00:50:09,366 WELL, TOO BAD FOR YOU. 912 00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:12,433 WE PROMISED TO SING THE SONG 10,000 TIMES, DIDN'T WE? 913 00:50:12,467 --> 00:50:15,732 WE STILL HAVE 5276 TO GO, SO SING! 914 00:50:21,567 --> 00:50:23,400 DORIS, WHERE'S MY PAPER? 915 00:50:23,433 --> 00:50:25,166 DIDN'T THEY DELIVER IT THIS MORNING? 916 00:50:25,200 --> 00:50:26,467 I GAVE IT TO MR. PETERSON. 917 00:50:26,500 --> 00:50:28,200 HE WAS ANXIOUS TO READ ABOUT CONRAD. 918 00:50:28,233 --> 00:50:31,266 MOTHER, DADDY, COULD YOU PLEASE KEEP YOUR VOICES DOWN? 919 00:50:31,300 --> 00:50:32,666 CONRAD MIGHT STILL BE SLEEPING. 920 00:50:32,699 --> 00:50:35,899 I'M SURE HE'S VERY TIRED FROM MOVING HIS HIPS. 921 00:50:35,933 --> 00:50:37,100 DADDY, COULD YOU PLEASE HURRY? 922 00:50:37,133 --> 00:50:40,200 I WANT TO HAVE THIS MESS CLEARED BEFORE CONRAD COMES DOWN. 923 00:50:40,233 --> 00:50:42,599 "THIS MESS," KIM, HAPPENS TO BE MY BREAKFAST. 924 00:50:42,632 --> 00:50:44,567 - I INTEND TO ENJOY IT. - MOTHER. 925 00:50:44,599 --> 00:50:46,899 KIM, DEAR, YOUR FATHER HAS A PERFECT RIGHT 926 00:50:46,933 --> 00:50:48,699 TO ENJOY HIS BREAKFAST, 927 00:50:48,732 --> 00:50:51,467 BUT I'M SURE HE WON'T MIND IF WE QUIETLY START 928 00:50:51,500 --> 00:50:53,433 CLEARING SOME OF THESE OTHER THINGS AWAY. 929 00:50:53,467 --> 00:50:55,433 I KNOW IT'S BEEN A HECTIC MORNING, DEAR, 930 00:50:55,467 --> 00:50:57,833 BUT KIM'S GONE TO A LOT OF TROUBLE TO MAKE 931 00:50:57,866 --> 00:50:59,666 A SPECIAL BREAKFAST FOR MR. BIRDIE. 932 00:50:59,699 --> 00:51:02,233 I WANT TO MAKE SURE EVERYTHING'S READY AND WAITING 933 00:51:02,266 --> 00:51:02,999 WHEN HE COMES DOWNSTAIRS. 934 00:51:03,033 --> 00:51:05,433 AFTER ALL, HE IS A NATIONAL FIGURE. 935 00:51:05,467 --> 00:51:07,500 I WANT TO SHOW THESE NEW YORK PEOPLE 936 00:51:07,533 --> 00:51:10,266 WE KNOW HOW TO TREAT A NATIONAL FIGURE IN SWEET APPLE. 937 00:51:10,300 --> 00:51:14,266 NOT THAT IT MATTERS MUCH TO ME PERSONALLY, BUT FOR KIM'S SAKE... 938 00:51:14,300 --> 00:51:15,833 THERE, ALL DONE. 939 00:51:15,866 --> 00:51:17,766 DID YOU ENJOY IT, DEAR? GOOD. 940 00:51:17,799 --> 00:51:20,699 NOW IF YOU'LL HURRY ALONG, I'LL CLEAR AWAY THESE OTHER THINGS. 941 00:51:20,732 --> 00:51:23,333 DORIS, I AM NOT BUDGING FROM THIS TABLE 942 00:51:23,366 --> 00:51:25,833 TILL I'VE HAD MY COFFEE AND READ MY NEWSPAPER. 943 00:51:25,866 --> 00:51:28,467 I'M SORRY, WE ONLY HAVE ENOUGH COFFEE FOR OUR GUEST. 944 00:51:28,500 --> 00:51:30,400 HOW ABOUT A NICE WARM ROOT BEER? 945 00:51:30,433 --> 00:51:32,567 MORNING, PA. HERE'S THE MORNING PAPER. 946 00:51:32,599 --> 00:51:36,567 HOPE YOU DON'T MIND, BUT I CUT OUT A FEW STORIES ABOUT CONRAD. 947 00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:44,567 ( sighs ) 948 00:51:45,833 --> 00:51:49,433 I HAVE TRIED TO RUN THIS HOUSEHOLD ON A DEMOCRATIC BASIS. 949 00:51:49,467 --> 00:51:52,200 I HAVE EXTENDED THE PRIVILEGE OF SELF-DETERMINATION 950 00:51:52,233 --> 00:51:55,467 TO BOTH THE WOMAN I'VE MARRIED AND THE CHILDREN I HAVE SIRED. 951 00:51:55,500 --> 00:51:57,333 THE VOTE HAS BEEN DENIED NO ONE 952 00:51:57,366 --> 00:51:59,666 FOR REASONS OF AGE, SEX OR POLITICAL AFFILIATION. 953 00:51:59,699 --> 00:52:02,866 THERE'S BEEN NO TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION, 954 00:52:02,899 --> 00:52:04,899 AND OPEN COVENANTS HAVE BEEN OPENLY ARRIVED AT. 955 00:52:04,933 --> 00:52:07,732 LAST NIGHT, I GAVE UP THE LAST PIECE 956 00:52:07,766 --> 00:52:10,699 OF MY FAVORITE PIE-- STRAWBERRY RHUBARB-- 957 00:52:10,732 --> 00:52:14,433 TO A GUEST WHO REPEATEDLY REFERRED TO ME AS "FATS." 958 00:52:14,467 --> 00:52:16,933 TELEPHONE CALLS WERE MADE ON MY PHONE 959 00:52:16,966 --> 00:52:18,467 TO NEW YORK, CHICAGO, 960 00:52:18,500 --> 00:52:21,233 FAIRBANKS, ALASKA AND HONG KONG. 961 00:52:21,266 --> 00:52:23,300 ALL NIGHT LONG I LAY AWAKE 962 00:52:23,333 --> 00:52:25,933 WHILE OUTSIDE MY WINDOW THREE HARPIES SHRIEKED, 963 00:52:25,966 --> 00:52:28,533 "WE LOVE YOU, CONRAD, WE LOVE YOU, CONRAD," 964 00:52:28,567 --> 00:52:32,266 4723 TIMES! 965 00:52:32,300 --> 00:52:34,300 I HAVE JUST LOST TWO FRIED EGGS! 966 00:52:34,333 --> 00:52:38,699 GENTLEMEN, THE DEMOCRACY IS OVER! 967 00:52:38,732 --> 00:52:40,567 PARLIAMENT'S BEEN DISSOLVED, 968 00:52:40,599 --> 00:52:42,266 THE MAGNA CARTA IS REVOKED, 969 00:52:42,300 --> 00:52:44,632 AND NERO IS BACK IN TOWN. 970 00:52:46,833 --> 00:52:49,833 OH FOLKS, WOULD YOU MIND STAYING OFF THE PHONE FOR A WHILE? 971 00:52:49,866 --> 00:52:51,899 I'M EXPECTING A LONG-DISTANCE CALL FROM NEW YORK. 972 00:52:51,933 --> 00:52:54,300 HE'S COMING! HE'S COMING! 973 00:52:54,333 --> 00:52:56,233 - HE'S COMING! HE'S COMING! - HE'S COMING! 974 00:52:56,266 --> 00:52:57,899 I'LL GET THE EGGS! YOU CALL THE KIDS. 975 00:52:57,933 --> 00:53:00,933 GIRLS, HURRY IF YOU WANT TO WATCH HIM EAT! 976 00:53:00,966 --> 00:53:03,266 ( shrieking ) 977 00:53:03,300 --> 00:53:05,500 Woman: SORRY, DORIS, WE HAD TO COME TOO. 978 00:53:05,533 --> 00:53:08,732 WE'LL STAND QUIETLY BACK HERE. 979 00:53:08,766 --> 00:53:12,233 HERE HE IS! HERE HE IS! HERE HE IS! 980 00:53:14,866 --> 00:53:16,533 ( yawns ) 981 00:53:33,500 --> 00:53:35,266 ( can hisses ) 982 00:53:52,333 --> 00:53:54,233 AHH... 983 00:53:54,266 --> 00:53:54,899 ( burps ) 984 00:53:54,933 --> 00:53:57,400 - AHH... - AHH! 985 00:54:03,799 --> 00:54:06,433 DON'T CALL ME FOR LUNCH. 986 00:54:06,467 --> 00:54:07,799 HIYA, FATS. 987 00:54:10,333 --> 00:54:11,699 ( can hisses ) 988 00:54:19,533 --> 00:54:21,200 OHH. 989 00:54:22,266 --> 00:54:23,732 ( burps ) 990 00:54:25,266 --> 00:54:26,933 NOW LOOK HERE, DORIS-- 991 00:54:26,966 --> 00:54:29,732 - HARRY, THE BOY'S JUST SHY. - KIM IS STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL-- 992 00:54:29,766 --> 00:54:31,766 DADDY, PLEASE, NOT IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY! 993 00:54:31,799 --> 00:54:34,732 - I DON'T CARE WHO'S HERE. NO ILL MANNERED LOUT-- - TELL 'EM, PA. 994 00:54:34,766 --> 00:54:37,200 - SHUT UP. - YOU HAVE NO RIGHT. THE BOY'S OUR GUEST. 995 00:54:37,233 --> 00:54:39,166 - UNTIL YOU'RE 18-- - BUT DADDY-- 996 00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:41,567 - WILL YOU SHUT UP? - DADDY! 997 00:54:41,599 --> 00:54:45,200 - WILL YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?! - MR. AND MRS. MacAFEE! 998 00:54:45,233 --> 00:54:46,699 KIM! RANDOLPH! 999 00:54:46,732 --> 00:54:50,266 IS THIS THE WAY YOU WANT 75 MILLION AMERICANS TO SEE YOU? 1000 00:54:50,300 --> 00:54:52,166 WHAT'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 1001 00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:55,400 - YOU'RE ALL GOING TO BE ON TELEVISION WITH CONRAD. - ON TELEVISION? 1002 00:54:55,433 --> 00:54:58,533 I JUST GOT THE CONFIRMATION CALL FROM ED SULLIVAN HIMSELF! 1003 00:54:58,567 --> 00:55:02,300 YOU MEAN, WE'RE GOING TO BE ON THE "SULLIVAN SHOW"? 1004 00:55:02,333 --> 00:55:04,599 THAT'S RIGHT. THEY'RE GONNA CUT IN TO SWEET APPLE 1005 00:55:04,632 --> 00:55:07,699 AT 8:05 THIS SUNDAY EVENING AND YOU'RE ALL GONNA BE ON. 1006 00:55:07,732 --> 00:55:09,433 THE ED SULLIVAN "SULLIVAN SHOW"? 1007 00:55:09,467 --> 00:55:11,266 TO THAT GREAT AUDIENCE OUT THERE, 1008 00:55:11,300 --> 00:55:13,266 YOU ARE AN AMERICAN DREAM COME TRUE. 1009 00:55:13,300 --> 00:55:16,433 I BEG YOU, MR. MacAFEE, FOR THE SAKE OF THE FREE WORLD, 1010 00:55:16,467 --> 00:55:18,632 DON'T DESTROY THAT DREAM. 1011 00:55:21,233 --> 00:55:22,766 ME... 1012 00:55:22,799 --> 00:55:25,133 ON "THE ED SULLIVAN SHOW"? 1013 00:55:26,866 --> 00:55:29,166 ♪ ED SULLIVAN... 1014 00:55:30,632 --> 00:55:34,233 ME, HARRY MacAFEE, APPEARING WITH... 1015 00:55:34,266 --> 00:55:36,567 ♪ ED SULLIVAN 1016 00:55:37,732 --> 00:55:39,533 ♪ ED 1017 00:55:39,567 --> 00:55:42,300 ♪ ED SULLIVAN 1018 00:55:42,333 --> 00:55:44,833 ♪ ED 1019 00:55:44,866 --> 00:55:49,467 ♪ ED SULLIVAN 1020 00:55:49,500 --> 00:55:52,833 - ♪ AHH - ♪ ED SULLIVAN 1021 00:55:52,866 --> 00:55:54,933 - ♪ AHH - ♪ ED SULLIVAN 1022 00:55:54,966 --> 00:55:55,933 ♪ ED 1023 00:55:55,966 --> 00:55:57,366 ♪ ED 1024 00:55:57,400 --> 00:55:58,366 ♪ SULL 1025 00:55:58,400 --> 00:56:00,166 ♪ SULL 1026 00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:02,266 ♪ ED SULLIVAN 1027 00:56:02,300 --> 00:56:04,599 ♪ ED SULLIVAN 1028 00:56:04,632 --> 00:56:09,599 ♪ WE'RE GONNA BE ON "ED SULLIVAN" ♪ 1029 00:56:09,632 --> 00:56:14,799 ♪ HOW COULD ANY FAMILY BE ♪ 1030 00:56:14,833 --> 00:56:19,533 ♪ HALF AS FORTUNATE AS WE? ♪ 1031 00:56:19,567 --> 00:56:21,933 ♪ WE'LL BE COAST-TO-COAST ♪ 1032 00:56:21,966 --> 00:56:24,799 ♪ WITH OUR FAVORITE HOST 1033 00:56:24,833 --> 00:56:30,567 ♪ ED SULLIVAN 1034 00:56:31,599 --> 00:56:33,899 ♪ ED SULLIVAN 1035 00:56:33,933 --> 00:56:36,300 ♪ ED SULLIVAN 1036 00:56:36,333 --> 00:56:41,433 ♪ WE'RE GONNA BE ON "ED SULLIVAN..." ♪ 1037 00:56:41,467 --> 00:56:44,933 I'VE GOT A WONDERFUL WIFE, TWO SWELL KIDS, 1038 00:56:44,966 --> 00:56:46,799 GOOD JOB 1039 00:56:46,833 --> 00:56:47,899 AND NOW THIS. 1040 00:56:47,933 --> 00:56:50,300 I AM SO VERY HAPPY. 1041 00:56:50,333 --> 00:56:52,433 ♪ AHH 1042 00:56:52,467 --> 00:56:55,166 ♪ SOMEDAY WE'LL RECALL 1043 00:56:55,200 --> 00:56:58,166 ♪ THE GREATEST DAY OF ALL... ♪ 1044 00:56:58,200 --> 00:57:00,233 ED, I LOVE YOU. 1045 00:57:00,266 --> 00:57:08,567 ♪ ED SULLIVAN. 1046 00:57:16,300 --> 00:57:18,766 THIS IS IT, ALBERT. WHAT DO YOU THINK? 1047 00:57:18,799 --> 00:57:20,833 ROSE, IT LOOKS GREAT. NOW LISTEN-- 1048 00:57:20,866 --> 00:57:21,933 IT'S JUST AN OLD VAUDEVILLE THEATER, 1049 00:57:21,966 --> 00:57:24,866 BUT I THINK IT'LL BE PERFECT FOR THE "SULLIVAN SHOW." 1050 00:57:24,899 --> 00:57:28,233 - WHAT I WANTED-- - THEY'LL SEND CAMERAS AND LIGHTS AND COSTUMES. 1051 00:57:28,266 --> 00:57:29,632 WOULD YOU FORGET ABOUT THE "SULLIVAN SHOW"? 1052 00:57:29,666 --> 00:57:32,933 THERE'S SOMETHING SERIOUS I WANT TO TALK ABOUT. IT INVOLVES YOU AND I. 1053 00:57:32,966 --> 00:57:34,666 "YOU AND ME," ENGLISH TEACHER. 1054 00:57:34,699 --> 00:57:36,433 ROSE, I'M SERIOUS. 1055 00:57:36,467 --> 00:57:39,433 I'M REALLY GLAD THAT YOU AND ME-- YOU AND I-- 1056 00:57:39,467 --> 00:57:40,899 YOU AND ME, YOU AND I-- 1057 00:57:40,933 --> 00:57:42,866 ARE OUT HERE AWAY FROM NEW YORK. 1058 00:57:42,899 --> 00:57:46,732 I WANT YOU TO KNOW I WROTE MOMMA AND TOLD HER NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, 1059 00:57:46,766 --> 00:57:48,866 I'M DEFINITELY GIVING UP ALMAELOU. 1060 00:57:48,899 --> 00:57:49,933 OH, ALBERT, YOU DIDN'T. 1061 00:57:49,966 --> 00:57:52,333 I WROTE TO HER THE DAY WE LEFT, 1062 00:57:52,366 --> 00:57:54,467 AND IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS AND THREE NIGHTS 1063 00:57:54,500 --> 00:57:56,599 - AND WE HAVEN'T HEARD A WORD. - OH, ALBERT! 1064 00:57:56,632 --> 00:57:59,400 THREE DAYS AND THREE NIGHTS ON A CROWDED BUS. 1065 00:57:59,433 --> 00:58:01,666 BUT WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? I'M ONLY A MOTHER, 1066 00:58:01,699 --> 00:58:03,766 AND FOR A MOTHER, A BUS IS GOOD ENOUGH. 1067 00:58:03,799 --> 00:58:06,333 MOMMA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 1068 00:58:06,366 --> 00:58:08,300 DID YOU THINK I WOULDN'T COME? 1069 00:58:08,333 --> 00:58:09,300 A WOMAN GETS A LETTER 1070 00:58:09,333 --> 00:58:11,533 OBVIOUSLY WRITTEN UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF DRUGS, 1071 00:58:11,567 --> 00:58:12,766 AND SHE SHOULD STAY HOME? 1072 00:58:12,799 --> 00:58:17,166 "DEAR MOM, THIS IS TO LET YOU KNOW ALMAELOU IS DISSOLVED. 1073 00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:18,732 YOUR FRIEND, ALBERT." 1074 00:58:18,766 --> 00:58:21,300 "ALMAELOU IS DISSOLVED." DISSOLVE ME. 1075 00:58:21,333 --> 00:58:23,266 WHO AM I, ANYWAY? A SICK OLD WOMAN, 1076 00:58:23,300 --> 00:58:24,567 PROBABLY WON'T LAST THE NIGHT. 1077 00:58:24,599 --> 00:58:27,333 ALL I WANT IS A SIMPLE STONE WITH ONE WORD-- 1078 00:58:27,366 --> 00:58:28,866 "ALBERT'S MOTHER." 1079 00:58:28,899 --> 00:58:32,233 DON'T HIRE A LIMOUSINE TO TAKE ME TO THE FINAL RESTING PLACE. 1080 00:58:32,266 --> 00:58:33,699 I'LL WALK. 1081 00:58:33,732 --> 00:58:36,833 TELL THAT LADY FRIEND OF YOURS I FORGIVE HER. 1082 00:58:36,866 --> 00:58:38,866 SHE KNOWETH NOT WHAT SHE DONETH. 1083 00:58:38,899 --> 00:58:40,799 MOMMA, ROSE IS RIGHT HERE. 1084 00:58:40,833 --> 00:58:44,266 THIS IS ROSE? 1085 00:58:44,300 --> 00:58:45,766 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. 1086 00:58:45,799 --> 00:58:46,933 SHE LOOKS LIKE MARGO 1087 00:58:46,966 --> 00:58:48,899 WHEN THEY TOOK HER OUT OF SHANGRI-LA. 1088 00:58:50,599 --> 00:58:52,799 FOR HER OWN SAKE, SEND HER BACK TO TIBET. 1089 00:58:52,833 --> 00:58:54,533 AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT A SECRETARY. 1090 00:58:54,567 --> 00:58:57,799 I FOUND, ON THE BUS, A PERFECT SECRETARY-- 1091 00:58:57,833 --> 00:59:00,632 A WONDERFUL, REFINED GIRL ON HER WAY TO AKRON, 1092 00:59:00,666 --> 00:59:03,266 BUT I PERSUADED HER TO COME HERE. 1093 00:59:03,300 --> 00:59:07,699 SONNY BOY, SAY HELLO... 1094 00:59:07,732 --> 00:59:10,366 TO GLORIA RASPUTIN. 1095 00:59:11,433 --> 00:59:14,266 YOU ARE SO CUTE! 1096 00:59:14,300 --> 00:59:17,666 MOMMA, I DON'T NEED ANOTHER SECRETARY. 1097 00:59:17,699 --> 00:59:18,766 I HAVE ROSIE. 1098 00:59:18,799 --> 00:59:20,233 OH, BUT I DON'T JUST TYPE. 1099 00:59:20,266 --> 00:59:22,766 - YOU DO OTHER THINGS? - I TAP DANCE. 1100 00:59:22,799 --> 00:59:25,866 I FIGURE I COULD HELP YOU WITH THIS SECRETARY THING, 1101 00:59:25,899 --> 00:59:28,233 AND YOU COULD HELP ME BREAK INTO SHOW BUSINESS. 1102 00:59:28,266 --> 00:59:31,333 GET A LOAD OF THIS, AL. MAE, CAN YOU HUM "SWANEE RIVER"? 1103 00:59:31,366 --> 00:59:33,200 MY FAVORITE SELECTION. 1104 00:59:33,233 --> 00:59:34,732 HIT IT! 1105 00:59:34,766 --> 00:59:37,400 ( vocalizing "Swanee River" ) YEAH! 1106 00:59:37,433 --> 00:59:40,899 ( vocalizing continuing ) 1107 00:59:54,599 --> 00:59:55,866 THAT'S HER FAVORITE PART. 1108 01:00:08,833 --> 01:00:10,799 "BRAVE-O," "BRAVE-O." 1109 01:00:10,833 --> 01:00:12,833 SO DO I GET THE JOB? 1110 01:00:12,866 --> 01:00:15,467 YOU CERTAINLY HAVE SOME WONDERFUL QUALIFICATIONS. 1111 01:00:15,500 --> 01:00:19,500 I AM USED TO WORKING WITH MISS ALVAREZ HERE. 1112 01:00:19,533 --> 01:00:22,333 DO YOU HAVE TO STAY DOWN THERE LIKE THAT? 1113 01:00:22,366 --> 01:00:24,266 ONLY FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES. 1114 01:00:24,300 --> 01:00:27,366 MAE, COULD YOU GIVE ME A LITTLE HELPING HAND? 1115 01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:30,233 AL, IF YOU COULD GRAB THE OTHER ONE. EASY DOES IT! 1116 01:00:30,266 --> 01:00:33,732 SONNY, FOR THE MOVIES, THEY COULD ALWAYS CUT AWAY WHILE THEY JACK HER UP. 1117 01:00:33,766 --> 01:00:36,666 SONNY BOY, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE GLORIA SOMEWHERE 1118 01:00:36,699 --> 01:00:38,666 AND SEE HOW FAST SHE TYPES? 1119 01:00:40,899 --> 01:00:44,433 WE DO HAVE ALL THOSE RELEASES TO GET OUT. 1120 01:00:44,467 --> 01:00:47,699 I'M SURE THAT GLORIA COULD HELP OUT WITH THOSE. 1121 01:00:47,732 --> 01:00:48,966 THAT IS-- 1122 01:00:48,999 --> 01:00:53,799 THAT IS IF IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE TO YOU, UH... 1123 01:00:54,833 --> 01:00:56,833 - ROSE. - ROSE. 1124 01:00:56,866 --> 01:00:59,766 WHY SHOULD IT MAKE AND DIFFERENCE TO ME, UH, ALBERT? 1125 01:00:59,799 --> 01:01:03,500 I'LL GO SEE IF I CAN FIND YOU A TYPEWRITER. 1126 01:01:06,333 --> 01:01:08,500 DO YOU USE THE... 1127 01:01:08,533 --> 01:01:09,866 TOUCH SYSTEM? 1128 01:01:09,899 --> 01:01:11,833 WHENEVER POSSIBLE. 1129 01:01:24,467 --> 01:01:26,500 TYPE SOME RELEASES, ROSE. 1130 01:01:32,533 --> 01:01:34,400 MISS ALVAREZ? 1131 01:01:34,433 --> 01:01:37,766 IT'S HUGO PEABODY. CAN I SPEAK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE? 1132 01:01:39,600 --> 01:01:40,632 I'M LOOKING FOR KIM MacAFEE. 1133 01:01:40,666 --> 01:01:43,833 I WANT TO TELL HER SHE'S NOT TO KISS CONRAD BIRDIE 1134 01:01:43,866 --> 01:01:45,366 ON THAT "ED SULLIVAN SHOW." 1135 01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:47,433 IF SHE DOES, I THINK I HAVE TO-- 1136 01:01:48,966 --> 01:01:52,300 MISS ALVAREZ, IS ANYTHING WRONG? 1137 01:01:53,300 --> 01:01:54,266 MISS ALVAREZ, 1138 01:01:54,300 --> 01:01:55,866 CAN I-- CAN I DO ANYTHING FOR YOU? 1139 01:01:55,899 --> 01:01:58,866 YES, HUGO, I THINK YOU CAN. 1140 01:02:12,833 --> 01:02:14,233 ( bell ringing ) 1141 01:02:20,467 --> 01:02:22,333 Sullivan: Now as you know, 1142 01:02:22,366 --> 01:02:23,799 in just about 14 hours, 1143 01:02:23,833 --> 01:02:26,333 one of show business' brightest talents 1144 01:02:26,366 --> 01:02:28,732 is going off to play a very special engagement. 1145 01:02:28,766 --> 01:02:30,632 Tonight, before he goes, 1146 01:02:30,666 --> 01:02:33,266 he wants to leave a certain lucky young lady 1147 01:02:33,300 --> 01:02:34,833 with one last kiss. 1148 01:02:34,866 --> 01:02:36,300 Ladies and gentlemen, 1149 01:02:36,333 --> 01:02:38,433 we take you to Sweet Apple, Ohio, 1150 01:02:38,467 --> 01:02:40,567 where a typical American family-- 1151 01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:42,732 Mr. and Mrs. Harry MacAfee 1152 01:02:42,766 --> 01:02:44,766 and their children Randolph and Kim-- 1153 01:02:44,799 --> 01:02:46,899 - WHERE'S ED? - ...are gathered to bid farewell 1154 01:02:46,933 --> 01:02:49,333 to a typical American soldier-- 1155 01:02:49,366 --> 01:02:50,732 Conrad Birdie. 1156 01:02:50,766 --> 01:02:53,433 ( cheering ) 1157 01:02:53,467 --> 01:02:56,266 ( music playing ) 1158 01:02:56,300 --> 01:02:58,699 - WHERE'S ED? - ♪ OH, ONE LAST KISS 1159 01:02:58,732 --> 01:03:00,833 ♪ OH, GIVE ME ONE LAST KISS ♪ 1160 01:03:00,866 --> 01:03:04,400 ♪ IT NEVER FELT LIKE THIS, NO, NEVER FELT LIKE THIS ♪ 1161 01:03:04,433 --> 01:03:07,732 ♪ YOU KNOW I NEED YOUR LOVE, OH, OH, OH ♪ 1162 01:03:07,766 --> 01:03:11,166 ♪ GIVE ME ONE LAST KISS ♪ 1163 01:03:12,732 --> 01:03:15,833 ♪ OH, ONE MORE TIME, OH, BABY, ONE MORE TIME ♪ 1164 01:03:15,866 --> 01:03:17,766 ♪ IT REALLY IS SUBLIME 1165 01:03:17,799 --> 01:03:19,866 ♪ AW, HONEY, SO SUBLIME ♪ 1166 01:03:19,899 --> 01:03:23,533 ♪ YOU KNOW I NEED YOUR LOVE, OH, OH, OH ♪ 1167 01:03:23,567 --> 01:03:26,567 ♪ GIVE ME ONE LAST KISS 1168 01:03:27,567 --> 01:03:28,533 ( snapping ) 1169 01:03:28,567 --> 01:03:32,567 ♪ BAAA-BY 1170 01:03:32,600 --> 01:03:36,300 ♪ GIVE ME ONE LAST KISS ♪ 1171 01:03:36,333 --> 01:03:39,866 ♪ BAAA-BY 1172 01:03:39,899 --> 01:03:42,799 ♪ GIVE ME ONE LAST KISS ♪ 1173 01:03:42,833 --> 01:03:46,233 ♪ ONE LAST KISS, OH, GIVE ME ONE LAST KISS ♪ 1174 01:03:46,266 --> 01:03:50,333 ♪ IT NEVER FELT LIKE THIS, NO, NEVER FELT LIKE THIS ♪ 1175 01:03:50,366 --> 01:03:54,366 ♪ YOU KNOW I NEED YOUR LOVE, OH, OH, OH ♪ 1176 01:03:54,400 --> 01:03:56,166 ♪ GIVE ME ONE LAST KISS ♪ 1177 01:03:58,233 --> 01:04:00,600 ♪ TURN BACK HISTORY'S PAGES ♪ 1178 01:04:00,632 --> 01:04:02,799 ♪ GO BACK THROUGH THE AGES ♪ 1179 01:04:02,833 --> 01:04:05,699 ♪ SEE HOW BRAVE SOLDIER BOYS OF YORE ♪ 1180 01:04:05,732 --> 01:04:07,732 ♪ SAID GOODBYE WHEN THEY WENT OFF TO WAR ♪ 1181 01:04:07,766 --> 01:04:13,366 - ♪ WENT OFF TO WAR - ♪ WENT OFF TO WAR 1182 01:04:15,632 --> 01:04:17,533 ( laughing, cheering ) 1183 01:04:17,567 --> 01:04:20,833 ♪ OH, ONE LAST KISS, OH, GIVE ME ONE LAST KISS ♪ 1184 01:04:20,866 --> 01:04:24,766 ♪ IT NEVER FELT LIKE THIS, NO, IT NEVER FELT LIKE THIS ♪ 1185 01:04:24,799 --> 01:04:28,400 ♪ YOU KNOW I NEED YOUR LOVE, OH, OH, OH ♪ 1186 01:04:28,433 --> 01:04:30,833 ♪ GIVE ME ONE LAST KISS ♪ 1187 01:04:32,200 --> 01:04:36,266 ♪ OH, ONE MORE TIME, OH, BABY, ONE MORE TIME ♪ 1188 01:04:36,300 --> 01:04:39,899 ♪ IT REALLY IS SUBLIME, AW, HONEY, SO SUBLIME ♪ 1189 01:04:39,933 --> 01:04:43,933 ♪ YOU KNOW I NEED YOUR LOVE, OH, OH, OH ♪ 1190 01:04:43,966 --> 01:04:47,500 ♪ GIVE ME ONE LAST KISS ♪ 1191 01:04:49,266 --> 01:04:52,732 ♪ BAAA-BY 1192 01:04:52,766 --> 01:04:56,533 ♪ GIVE ME ONE LAST KISS 1193 01:04:56,567 --> 01:05:00,567 ♪ BAAA-BY 1194 01:05:00,600 --> 01:05:03,533 ♪ GIVE ME ONE LAST KISS 1195 01:05:13,866 --> 01:05:17,300 ♪ OH, ONE LAST KISS, OH, GIVE ME ONE LAST KISS ♪ 1196 01:05:17,333 --> 01:05:20,732 ♪ IT NEVER FELT LIKE THIS, NO, IT NEVER FELT LIKE THIS ♪ 1197 01:05:20,766 --> 01:05:24,632 ♪ YOU KNOW I NEED YOUR LOVE, OH, OH, OH ♪ 1198 01:05:24,666 --> 01:05:27,732 ♪ OH, GIVE ME ONE LAST KISS, ONE LAST KISS ♪ 1199 01:05:27,766 --> 01:05:29,866 ♪ ONE LAST KISS 1200 01:05:29,899 --> 01:05:32,632 ♪ OH, GIVE ME ONE LAST KISS ♪ 1201 01:05:33,699 --> 01:05:36,899 ♪ ONE LAST KISS, ONE LAST KISS ♪ 1202 01:05:37,766 --> 01:05:41,300 ♪ OH, GIVE ME ONE LAST... ♪ 1203 01:05:44,366 --> 01:05:46,666 BRACE YOURSELF, CHICK. 1204 01:05:46,699 --> 01:05:48,899 BRACE YOURSELF, CONRAD BIRDIE! 1205 01:05:54,699 --> 01:05:56,933 HUGO, YOU HIT HIM! 1206 01:05:56,966 --> 01:06:00,632 HE DESERVED IT! HE WAS A THIEF OF LOVE! 1207 01:06:00,666 --> 01:06:04,899 HUGO F. PEABODY, I DON'T EVER WANT TO SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN! 1208 01:06:04,933 --> 01:06:07,133 KIM! 1209 01:06:08,333 --> 01:06:10,833 I DEMAND TO KNOW WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS! 1210 01:06:10,866 --> 01:06:13,732 - WHO LET THAT KID IN HERE? - I DID, ALBERT. 1211 01:06:13,766 --> 01:06:17,166 IT'S SORT OF A FAREWELL PRESENT TO YOU AND MISS RASPUTIN. 1212 01:06:17,200 --> 01:06:20,899 - WEAR IT IN GOOD HEALTH! - ROSIE, YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME ALONE. 1213 01:06:20,933 --> 01:06:22,666 OH, YOU'RE NOT ALONE, ALBERT. 1214 01:06:22,699 --> 01:06:24,233 YOU'RE ON TELEVISION. 1215 01:06:41,732 --> 01:06:44,866 ( weakly ) ♪ FOR HE'S A FINE, UPSTANDING ♪ 1216 01:06:44,899 --> 01:06:46,833 ♪ PATRIOTIC 1217 01:06:46,866 --> 01:06:50,433 ♪ HEALTHY, NORMAL AMERICAN BOY ♪ 1218 01:06:50,467 --> 01:06:54,632 ♪ FOR HE'S A FINE, UPSTANDING, PATRIOTIC ♪ 1219 01:06:54,666 --> 01:07:02,433 ♪ HEALTHY, NORMAL AMERICAN BOY. ♪ 1220 01:07:24,933 --> 01:07:29,233 ♪ EIGHT YEARS, EIGHT YEARS ♪ 1221 01:07:29,266 --> 01:07:33,500 ♪ THAT'S HOW LONG I WASTED ON HIM ♪ 1222 01:07:33,533 --> 01:07:37,600 ♪ THAT'S ALL, I'M THROUGH ♪ 1223 01:07:37,632 --> 01:07:41,166 ♪ ALBERT, DEAR, TO PUT IT SWEETLY ♪ 1224 01:07:41,200 --> 01:07:43,400 ♪ TO HELL WITH YOU! 1225 01:07:43,433 --> 01:07:46,200 THAT'S RIGHT, ALBERT. TO HELL WITH YOU. 1226 01:07:46,233 --> 01:07:48,266 FROM NOW ON, IT'S GOING TO BE ME, 1227 01:07:48,300 --> 01:07:49,866 ROSIE, ON THE TOWN, 1228 01:07:49,899 --> 01:07:52,567 DANCING AND SINGING AND HAVING A BALL, 1229 01:07:52,600 --> 01:07:54,467 TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR EIGHT YEARS 1230 01:07:54,500 --> 01:07:56,799 OF BEING IN LOVE WITH A MOMMA-CLUTCHING, 1231 01:07:56,833 --> 01:08:00,500 ASPIRIN-SPLITTING TOWER OF... APPLESAUCE! 1232 01:08:01,833 --> 01:08:04,632 ♪ WHAT DID I EVER SEE IN HIM? ♪ 1233 01:08:04,666 --> 01:08:07,866 ♪ HOW COULD I EVER GET INVOLVED THAT WAY? ♪ 1234 01:08:07,899 --> 01:08:10,699 ♪ NOW THAT IT'S OVER, I CAN SMILE AND SAY ♪ 1235 01:08:10,732 --> 01:08:14,766 ♪ WHAT DID I EVER SEE IN HIM? ♪ 1236 01:08:14,799 --> 01:08:18,266 ♪ BOY, I WAS WAY OUT ON A LIMB ♪ 1237 01:08:18,300 --> 01:08:21,366 ♪ NOW THAT MY FEET ARE ON THE GROUND AGAIN ♪ 1238 01:08:21,400 --> 01:08:24,233 ♪ NOW THAT MY SENSES HAVE BEEN FOUND AGAIN ♪ 1239 01:08:24,266 --> 01:08:28,500 ♪ WHAT DID I EVER SEE IN HIM? ♪ 1240 01:08:28,533 --> 01:08:31,500 ♪ IS HE TENDER? NO, HE'S NOT ♪ 1241 01:08:31,533 --> 01:08:34,366 ♪ IS HE THOUGHTFUL? NO, HE'S NOT ♪ 1242 01:08:34,400 --> 01:08:36,699 ♪ AM I CRAZY? WHAT'S HE GOT ♪ 1243 01:08:36,732 --> 01:08:40,266 ♪ THAT I FOUND SO DAMN APPEALING? ♪ 1244 01:08:40,300 --> 01:08:42,866 ♪ WHAT DID HE EVER DO FOR ME? ♪ 1245 01:08:42,899 --> 01:08:45,933 ♪ WELL, TO BE HONEST, HE WAS SOMETIMES NICE ♪ 1246 01:08:45,966 --> 01:08:48,933 ♪ BUT STILL IT WASN'T WORTH THE AWFUL PRICE ♪ 1247 01:08:48,966 --> 01:08:51,732 ♪ IT WAS ROUGH FROM THE START ♪ 1248 01:08:51,766 --> 01:08:54,899 ♪ BROKEN DATES, BROKEN NAILS, BROKEN HEART ♪ 1249 01:08:54,933 --> 01:08:57,567 ♪ HOW DID I EVER, WHY DID I EVER ♪ 1250 01:08:57,600 --> 01:08:58,933 ♪ WHAT DID I EVER... 1251 01:08:58,966 --> 01:09:01,233 MISS ALVAREZ, DON'T BE SO UPSET. 1252 01:09:01,266 --> 01:09:03,567 ALL MEN CAN'T BE LIKE THAT. 1253 01:09:03,600 --> 01:09:05,200 EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM, 1254 01:09:05,233 --> 01:09:07,366 EXCEPT FOR MAYBE ALBERT SCHWEITZER, 1255 01:09:07,400 --> 01:09:09,166 AND I'M NOT HIS TYPE. 1256 01:09:09,200 --> 01:09:12,400 OH, THEY'RE ALL THE SAME FROM PUBERTY TO SENILITY, 1257 01:09:12,433 --> 01:09:14,933 FROM BENEDICT ARNOLD TO MUSSOLINI. 1258 01:09:14,966 --> 01:09:17,266 I NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHY INGRID BERGMAN 1259 01:09:17,300 --> 01:09:18,833 MARRIED HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE. 1260 01:09:18,866 --> 01:09:21,533 EGOTISTICAL, SELFISH HUMAN BEASTS! 1261 01:09:21,567 --> 01:09:23,732 WHAT ARE WE POOR WOMEN TO DO, MISS ALVAREZ? 1262 01:09:23,766 --> 01:09:27,799 USE THEM. YES, USE THEM. 1263 01:09:27,833 --> 01:09:29,732 LET THEM BE OUR PLAYTHINGS 1264 01:09:29,766 --> 01:09:31,333 WHILE WE LIVE, 1265 01:09:31,366 --> 01:09:33,600 SIP FROM THE CUP OF LIFE. 1266 01:09:33,632 --> 01:09:35,766 MIX THAT POTION FULL AND STRONG, 1267 01:09:35,799 --> 01:09:37,266 AND DRAIN IT TO THE DREGS! 1268 01:09:37,300 --> 01:09:40,300 HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES, MR. PETERSON? 1269 01:09:41,732 --> 01:09:44,366 ♪ DO WE NEED THEM? NO, WE DON'T ♪ 1270 01:09:44,400 --> 01:09:47,166 ♪ DO WE WANT THEM? NO, WE DON'T ♪ 1271 01:09:47,200 --> 01:09:49,699 - ♪ WILL WE LEAVE THEM? - ♪ NO, WE WON'T 1272 01:09:49,732 --> 01:09:52,899 ♪ TELL ME, WHAT DID I SAY THAT FOR? ♪ 1273 01:09:52,933 --> 01:09:55,799 ♪ WHAT DID WE EVER SEE IN THEM? ♪ 1274 01:09:55,833 --> 01:09:58,933 ♪ HOW COULD WE EVER THINK THAT THEY WERE NICE? ♪ 1275 01:09:58,966 --> 01:10:01,732 ♪ TAKE IT FROM US, WE'VE PAID AN AWFUL PRICE ♪ 1276 01:10:01,766 --> 01:10:04,666 ♪ IT WAS ROUGH FROM THE START ♪ 1277 01:10:04,699 --> 01:10:07,732 ♪ BROKEN DATES, BROKEN NAILS, BROKEN HEART ♪ 1278 01:10:07,766 --> 01:10:11,766 ♪ WHAT DID WE EVER SEE IN... ♪ 1279 01:10:11,799 --> 01:10:14,567 HUGO F. PEABODY! 1280 01:10:14,600 --> 01:10:17,799 HUGO! WHAT DID I EVER SEE IN HIM?! 1281 01:10:17,833 --> 01:10:20,666 WHY, HE'S AS BAD AS MR. PETERSON, IF NOT WORSE! 1282 01:10:20,699 --> 01:10:23,799 MISS ALVAREZ, I'M COMING WITH YOU. 1283 01:10:23,833 --> 01:10:26,567 NOW, KIM, WHY DON'T YOU JUST STAY HOME 1284 01:10:26,600 --> 01:10:27,866 AND HAVE SOME MILK AND COOKIES? 1285 01:10:27,899 --> 01:10:29,233 MILK AND COOKIES? 1286 01:10:29,266 --> 01:10:31,166 MISS ALVAREZ, IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT. 1287 01:10:31,200 --> 01:10:33,467 I WANT TO LIVE. 1288 01:10:51,567 --> 01:10:53,766 A-HA, THERE SHE IS. 1289 01:10:53,799 --> 01:10:55,732 THE TRAITOR WHO STABBED ME IN THE HEART 1290 01:10:55,766 --> 01:10:57,500 THE MINUTE MY BACK WAS TURNED! 1291 01:10:57,533 --> 01:10:58,866 STAY OUT OF MY WAY, ALBERT. 1292 01:10:58,899 --> 01:11:00,699 CAREFUL, SONNY. SHE MAY BE ARMED. 1293 01:11:00,732 --> 01:11:02,699 DON'T WORRY, MOMMA. I CAN HANDLE HER. 1294 01:11:02,732 --> 01:11:05,833 TAKE CONRAD UPSTAIRS AND MAKE SURE HE GETS INTO BED. 1295 01:11:11,200 --> 01:11:13,699 FOR THE LAST TIME, ALBERT, STAY OUT OF MY WAY. 1296 01:11:13,732 --> 01:11:15,766 I'M GOING OUT ON THE TOWN TONIGHT. 1297 01:11:15,799 --> 01:11:17,666 I DON'T WANT TO WASTE ANOTHER MINUTE. 1298 01:11:17,699 --> 01:11:19,600 NOT UNTIL I'VE HAD MY SAY, ROSE. 1299 01:11:19,632 --> 01:11:21,366 THANKS TO MOMMA'S QUICK THINKING, 1300 01:11:21,400 --> 01:11:23,866 THE KISS WILL TAKE PLACE AFTER ALL-- 1301 01:11:23,899 --> 01:11:25,933 TOMORROW MORNING AT THE TRAIN STATION 1302 01:11:25,966 --> 01:11:28,200 JUST BEFORE CONRAD LEAVES. 1303 01:11:28,233 --> 01:11:31,933 AND SO YOU HAVE FAILED, MISS ROSE ALVAREZ, 1304 01:11:31,966 --> 01:11:33,799 AS ANYONE MUST FAIL 1305 01:11:33,833 --> 01:11:35,799 WHO TRIES TO BUCK AL PETERSON-- 1306 01:11:35,833 --> 01:11:38,400 ONE OF THE GIANTS, ONE OF THE TITANS, 1307 01:11:38,433 --> 01:11:41,166 ONE OF THE KING KONGS OF THE MUSIC INDUSTRY! 1308 01:11:41,200 --> 01:11:43,433 ( laughs ) ROSIE? 1309 01:11:44,766 --> 01:11:45,833 ROSE? 1310 01:11:47,366 --> 01:11:48,732 ROSE? 1311 01:11:52,433 --> 01:11:53,766 ( laughs ) 1312 01:12:00,400 --> 01:12:02,500 WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING, YOUNG LADY? 1313 01:12:02,533 --> 01:12:05,866 OUT WITH ROSIE, TO DRAIN DEEP THE DREGS 1314 01:12:05,899 --> 01:12:08,400 AND SIP FULL HEARTY THE BRIMMING CUP. 1315 01:12:08,433 --> 01:12:09,732 TO LIVE. 1316 01:12:09,766 --> 01:12:11,300 UPSTAIRS. 1317 01:12:11,333 --> 01:12:14,467 - BUT DADDY! - YOU HEARD ME, I SAID UPSTAIRS. 1318 01:12:14,500 --> 01:12:19,433 ROSIE WAS RIGHT-- YOU'RE ALL THE SAME, 1319 01:12:19,467 --> 01:12:21,699 FROM PUBERTY TO MUSSOLINI! 1320 01:12:21,732 --> 01:12:23,833 WHAT'S THAT? YOU DARE SAY PUBERTY 1321 01:12:23,866 --> 01:12:25,699 IN FRONT OF YOUR OWN FATHER? 1322 01:12:25,732 --> 01:12:27,833 NOT TO MENTION MUSSOLINI. 1323 01:12:29,400 --> 01:12:30,799 OH, DORIS. 1324 01:12:30,833 --> 01:12:33,567 WE HAVE FAILED AS PARENTS. 1325 01:12:35,866 --> 01:12:38,899 ( sighs ) I NEVER ASKED FOR MUCH FROM MY CHILDREN, 1326 01:12:38,933 --> 01:12:42,799 JUST RESPECT-- A LITTLE RESPECT. 1327 01:12:42,833 --> 01:12:45,500 THAT'S ALL I ASK FOR-- RESPECT. 1328 01:12:45,533 --> 01:12:46,766 BUT DID I GET RESPECT? 1329 01:12:46,799 --> 01:12:49,533 I DID NOT GET RESPECT. I GOT NO RESPECT. 1330 01:12:49,567 --> 01:12:51,300 I RESPECT YOU, PA. 1331 01:12:55,866 --> 01:12:59,666 I DON'T WANT YOUR RESPECT. YOU'RE A CHILD. 1332 01:12:59,699 --> 01:13:01,799 WHAT GOOD IS RESPECT FROM A CHILD? 1333 01:13:04,200 --> 01:13:06,899 DORIS, I THINK YOU'D BETTER TAKE ME UPSTAIRS. 1334 01:13:06,933 --> 01:13:10,833 I'M NOT A WELL MAN. 1335 01:13:10,866 --> 01:13:14,567 CERTAIN WORDS I NEVER WANTED TO HEAR IN THIS HOUSE. 1336 01:13:14,600 --> 01:13:16,766 PUBERTY WAS ONE OF 'EM. 1337 01:13:16,799 --> 01:13:18,833 MUSSOLINI'S ANOTHER. 1338 01:13:18,866 --> 01:13:21,233 DREGS WOULD BE THE THIRD. 1339 01:13:25,732 --> 01:13:29,732 ♪ EIGHT YEARS, HUH, EIGHT YEARS ♪ 1340 01:13:29,766 --> 01:13:33,533 ♪ THAT'S HOW LONG I PUT UP WITH HER ♪ 1341 01:13:33,567 --> 01:13:36,300 ♪ WELL, THAT'S IT 1342 01:13:36,333 --> 01:13:38,799 ♪ FINIS ♪ 1343 01:13:38,833 --> 01:13:41,400 ♪ FROM NOW ON, I'M CARING ONLY ♪ 1344 01:13:41,433 --> 01:13:43,766 ♪ FOR ALBERT P... 1345 01:13:43,799 --> 01:13:47,567 WHEN I FOUND HER, SHE WAS JUST A SKINNY KID FROM PITTSBURGH, P.A. 1346 01:13:47,600 --> 01:13:50,166 DIDN'T EVER HEAR OF SMOKED SALMON, 1347 01:13:50,200 --> 01:13:51,899 AND NOW IT'S HER FAVORITE FOOD. 1348 01:13:51,933 --> 01:13:54,666 I TAUGHT HER EVERYTHING SHE KNOWS. TYPING, FILING, SHOPPING-- 1349 01:13:54,699 --> 01:13:56,732 EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING! THIS IS THE GRATITUDE I GET! 1350 01:13:56,766 --> 01:13:58,866 WELL, MOMMA WAS RIGHT! 1351 01:14:02,400 --> 01:14:04,866 ♪ WHAT DID I EVER SEE IN HER? ♪ 1352 01:14:04,899 --> 01:14:07,766 ♪ WHY DID I EVER LET HER IN MY LIFE? ♪ 1353 01:14:07,799 --> 01:14:11,300 ♪ SHE HAD THE GALL TO WANT TO BE MY WIFE ♪ 1354 01:14:11,333 --> 01:14:14,433 ♪ WHAT DID I EVER SEE IN HER? ♪ 1355 01:14:14,467 --> 01:14:16,200 ( gurgling ) 1356 01:14:16,233 --> 01:14:18,833 ♪ WHY DID I BUY HER JEWELS AND FURS? ♪ 1357 01:14:18,866 --> 01:14:22,300 ♪ SO WHAT IF THEY WERE FAKE? THEY STILL LOOK REAL ♪ 1358 01:14:22,333 --> 01:14:25,300 ♪ BELIEVE ME, I'LL SURVIVE THIS, NO BIG DEAL ♪ 1359 01:14:25,333 --> 01:14:28,732 ♪ WHAT DID I EVER SEE IN HER? ♪ 1360 01:14:29,966 --> 01:14:33,200 ♪ FEELS SHE'S CLEVER, DO I CARE? ♪ 1361 01:14:33,233 --> 01:14:35,933 ♪ SWEET, EFFICIENT, DO I CARE? ♪ 1362 01:14:35,966 --> 01:14:38,799 ♪ SO SHE'S GORGEOUS, DO I CARE? ♪ 1363 01:14:38,833 --> 01:14:41,467 ♪ NO, I'LL BE JUST FINE WITHOUT HER ♪ 1364 01:14:41,500 --> 01:14:44,933 ♪ ME, I DON'T NEED A GIRL, NO, SIR ♪ 1365 01:14:44,966 --> 01:14:47,699 ♪ FROM THIS DAY FORTH, I'M ON A SINGLE TRACK ♪ 1366 01:14:47,732 --> 01:14:50,833 ♪ I'LL MERELY LAUGH IF SHE COMES CRAWLING BACK... ♪ 1367 01:14:50,866 --> 01:14:54,366 HA, HA, HA! ♪ AND I'LL SAY, "SORRY, ROSE 1368 01:14:54,400 --> 01:14:57,166 ♪ IT'S BEEN FUN, BUT IT'S DONE, ADIOS" ♪ 1369 01:14:57,200 --> 01:14:59,833 ♪ HOW DID I EVER, WHY DID I EVER ♪ 1370 01:14:59,866 --> 01:15:01,400 ♪ WHAT DID I EVER... 1371 01:15:03,933 --> 01:15:07,467 OOH, I DON'T LOOK WELL. I'M ALL PALE. 1372 01:15:07,500 --> 01:15:10,400 OOH, I DON'T FEEL SO WELL, EITHER. 1373 01:15:10,433 --> 01:15:12,600 MY STOMACH MUST BE UPSET. 1374 01:15:13,866 --> 01:15:16,300 ( groans ) MY TONGUE'S ALL COATED. 1375 01:15:16,333 --> 01:15:19,600 MY EYES LOOK PUFFY AND I FEEL KIND OF BLOATED. 1376 01:15:20,933 --> 01:15:22,833 WAIT A MINUTE. 1377 01:15:22,866 --> 01:15:25,766 COATED, BLOATED... 1378 01:15:25,799 --> 01:15:28,433 - ( snaps ) - THAT RHYMES. 1379 01:15:28,467 --> 01:15:30,500 SO YOU SEE, MISS ROSE ALVAREZ, 1380 01:15:30,533 --> 01:15:32,866 YOU HAVE FAILED TO SHAKE MY CONFIDENCE 1381 01:15:32,899 --> 01:15:34,899 OR DESTROY MY GIFT. 1382 01:15:34,933 --> 01:15:38,799 ♪ AM I NERVOUS? NO, I'M NOT ♪ 1383 01:15:38,833 --> 01:15:41,799 ♪ THOUGH MY SPELLING'S NOT SO HOT ♪ 1384 01:15:41,833 --> 01:15:44,699 ♪ WHAT'S SO SPECIAL? WHAT'S SHE GOT ♪ 1385 01:15:44,732 --> 01:15:48,400 ♪ BESIDES LOOKS AND BRAINS AND TALENT? ♪ 1386 01:15:48,433 --> 01:15:50,866 ♪ SHE WASN'T REALLY RIGHT FOR ME... ♪ 1387 01:15:50,899 --> 01:15:54,666 OH, YOU WERE RIGHT, MOMMA. YOU WERE RIGHT. 1388 01:15:54,699 --> 01:15:57,467 ♪ OUR MARRIAGE WOULDN'T HAVE WORKED OUT AT ALL ♪ 1389 01:15:57,500 --> 01:16:00,567 ♪ LET'S FACE IT, SHE'S ABOUT AN INCH TOO TALL ♪ 1390 01:16:00,600 --> 01:16:04,866 ♪ WHAT DID I EVER SEE 1391 01:16:04,899 --> 01:16:09,833 ♪ IN HER? 1392 01:16:11,899 --> 01:16:13,766 ARE YOU HAVING TROUBLE SLEEPING, DARLING? 1393 01:16:17,966 --> 01:16:19,866 OF COURSE. 1394 01:16:20,799 --> 01:16:22,933 YOU WANT ME TO TELL YOU A STORY? 1395 01:16:22,966 --> 01:16:24,866 NO. 1396 01:16:24,899 --> 01:16:27,366 HOW 'BOUT A LITTLE LULLABY? 1397 01:16:27,400 --> 01:16:29,233 ( sarcastically ) OH, PLEASE. 1398 01:16:30,933 --> 01:16:37,433 ♪ WYNKEN AND BLYNKEN AND NOD. ♪ 1399 01:16:37,467 --> 01:16:39,899 MOMMA, PLEASE DON'T SING. 1400 01:16:39,933 --> 01:16:42,866 ALL RIGHT. I'LL JUST HUM. 1401 01:16:44,233 --> 01:16:47,732 ( humming ) 1402 01:16:50,300 --> 01:16:52,233 I CAN'T SLEEP, MOMMA. 1403 01:16:54,500 --> 01:16:56,899 YOU WANNA COME DOWN AND LET ME RUB YOUR BACK? 1404 01:16:56,933 --> 01:17:00,500 - PLEASE GO TO SLEEP. - MAYBE YOU WANT ME UP THERE AND RUB YOUR BACK. 1405 01:17:00,533 --> 01:17:02,433 GOOD NIGHT, MOMMA. 1406 01:17:02,467 --> 01:17:04,866 GOOD NIGHT, SONNY BOY. 1407 01:17:06,433 --> 01:17:08,766 ( telephone ringing ) 1408 01:17:11,699 --> 01:17:14,600 ( ringing continuing ) 1409 01:17:21,866 --> 01:17:22,866 YES? 1410 01:17:22,899 --> 01:17:25,833 YES, THIS IS HIM-- HE-- HIM. 1411 01:17:27,366 --> 01:17:28,933 OH, HELLO, ED. 1412 01:17:28,966 --> 01:17:31,333 WELL, THAT IS VERY NICE OF YOU TO CALL. 1413 01:17:31,366 --> 01:17:35,699 WHAT? OH, WELL, THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT, ED-- 1414 01:17:35,732 --> 01:17:37,699 YOU KNOW, LIKE AN ACT OF GOD. 1415 01:17:37,732 --> 01:17:41,366 YES, I HEARD YOU. YOU'RE UPSET. 1416 01:17:41,400 --> 01:17:44,866 THE NETWORK'S UPSET. THE WHOLE COUNTRY'S UPSET. 1417 01:17:44,899 --> 01:17:46,799 WELL, UH... WELL, WELL, WELL... 1418 01:17:46,833 --> 01:17:50,467 I'M VERY SORRY, ED-- M-MR. SULLIVAN, SIR. 1419 01:17:50,500 --> 01:17:51,732 UH... 1420 01:17:54,899 --> 01:17:57,833 ROSIE, I NEED YOU. 1421 01:17:57,866 --> 01:17:59,866 SONNY BOY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 1422 01:17:59,899 --> 01:18:01,666 I'M GOING OUT TO FIND ROSIE. 1423 01:18:01,699 --> 01:18:02,899 WHY? 1424 01:18:02,933 --> 01:18:05,766 BECAUSE I LOVE HER AND I WANT HER BACK. 1425 01:18:05,799 --> 01:18:08,567 OH, IS THAT ALL? 1426 01:18:08,600 --> 01:18:10,467 I THOUGHT IT WAS SOMETHING SERIOUS. 1427 01:18:10,500 --> 01:18:11,933 BY ALL MEANS, SONNY BOY, 1428 01:18:11,966 --> 01:18:14,200 FIND HER AND BRING HER BACK HERE. 1429 01:18:14,233 --> 01:18:17,766 BY THE WAY, DEAR, WHEN YOU GET BACK, 1430 01:18:17,799 --> 01:18:19,866 BE SURE TO STOP IN THE KITCHEN, 1431 01:18:19,899 --> 01:18:21,933 TAKE MY HEAD OUT OF THE OVEN, 1432 01:18:21,966 --> 01:18:24,600 AND TURN OFF THE GAS. 1433 01:18:26,732 --> 01:18:27,766 ONLY BEFORE YOU DO, 1434 01:18:27,799 --> 01:18:30,600 I BETTER GIVE YOU THE MESSAGE FROM CONRAD FIRST. 1435 01:18:30,632 --> 01:18:33,799 - WHAT MESSAGE? - NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT, DARLING. 1436 01:18:33,833 --> 01:18:35,899 HE JUST SAYS HE'S GOING OUT TONIGHT, 1437 01:18:35,933 --> 01:18:39,567 AND HE DOESN'T THINK HE'LL BE BACK IN TIME TO KISS KIM TOMORROW. 1438 01:18:39,600 --> 01:18:44,366 WHAT?! MOMMA, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME BEFORE? 1439 01:18:44,400 --> 01:18:46,799 I TRIED TO, DARLING, BUT YOU KEPT BRINGING UP 1440 01:18:46,833 --> 01:18:49,166 A CERTAIN PARTY FROM SOUTH OF THE BORDER. 1441 01:18:49,200 --> 01:18:52,300 CONRAD! CONRAD, COME DOWNSTAIRS RIGHT NOW! 1442 01:18:54,866 --> 01:18:56,366 WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH HIM? 1443 01:18:56,400 --> 01:18:57,833 HE KNOWS HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS. 1444 01:18:57,866 --> 01:18:59,833 MOMMA! MOMMA! 1445 01:18:59,866 --> 01:19:02,467 IT'S ELECTRIC! IT'S ELECTRIC. 1446 01:19:02,500 --> 01:19:04,333 JUST TAKE IT EASY. I'M COMING. 1447 01:19:04,366 --> 01:19:06,799 BEFORE YOU START TO HOLLER AT ME, 1448 01:19:06,833 --> 01:19:09,233 I WANT YOU TO KNOW I'VE MADE UP MY MIND. 1449 01:19:09,266 --> 01:19:11,899 I'M TIRED OF WAKING UP EVERY MORNING AT 9:00, 1450 01:19:11,933 --> 01:19:13,699 HAVING PEOPLE WATCH ME WHEN I EAT, 1451 01:19:13,732 --> 01:19:16,400 AND LETTING THAT KID GO POKING ME IN THE EYE. 1452 01:19:16,433 --> 01:19:19,266 I WANT TO GO OUT, I WANT TO HAVE SOME FUN, 1453 01:19:19,300 --> 01:19:21,500 I WANT TO FIND A COUPLE OF YOUNG CHICKS. 1454 01:19:21,533 --> 01:19:23,266 DON'T YOU GET IT, ALBERT? 1455 01:19:23,300 --> 01:19:25,166 I AM TENSE. 1456 01:19:26,766 --> 01:19:30,133 MOMMA, DON'T JUST STAND THERE, DO SOMETHING. 1457 01:19:39,866 --> 01:19:41,500 CONRAD... 1458 01:19:41,533 --> 01:19:45,333 DID YOU EVER THINK IN TERMS OF A... 1459 01:19:45,366 --> 01:19:46,533 MORE MATURE WOMAN? 1460 01:19:48,600 --> 01:19:49,799 Albert: MOMMA! 1461 01:19:53,732 --> 01:19:55,632 YOU CANNOT GO OUT WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. 1462 01:19:55,666 --> 01:19:58,766 IT'S IN YOUR CONTRACT. STAY THERE. 1463 01:19:58,799 --> 01:20:02,833 I'M SORRY, BUDDY, THIS IS MY LAST FREE NIGHT BEFORE I GO INTO THE ARMY. 1464 01:20:02,866 --> 01:20:05,200 I'M GOING OUT. 1465 01:20:07,732 --> 01:20:08,699 AH... 1466 01:20:08,732 --> 01:20:11,833 ♪ THERE ARE CHICKS 1467 01:20:11,866 --> 01:20:14,799 ♪ JUST RIPE FOR SOME KISSIN' ♪ 1468 01:20:14,833 --> 01:20:19,600 ♪ AND I MEAN TO KISS ME A FEW ♪ 1469 01:20:19,632 --> 01:20:22,300 ♪ MAN, THOSE CHICKS 1470 01:20:22,333 --> 01:20:25,732 ♪ DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE MISSIN' ♪ 1471 01:20:25,766 --> 01:20:30,699 ♪ I GOT A LOT OF LIVIN' TO DO ♪ 1472 01:20:30,732 --> 01:20:33,233 ♪ SIZZLIN' STEAKS 1473 01:20:33,266 --> 01:20:35,699 ♪ ALL READY FOR TASTIN' ♪ 1474 01:20:35,732 --> 01:20:41,300 ♪ AND THERE'S CADILLACS ALL SHINY AND NEW ♪ 1475 01:20:41,333 --> 01:20:43,400 ♪ GOTTA MOVE 1476 01:20:43,433 --> 01:20:46,300 ♪ 'CAUSE TIME IS A-WASTIN' ♪ 1477 01:20:46,333 --> 01:20:50,699 ♪ THERE'S SUCH A LOT OF LIVIN' TO DO ♪ 1478 01:20:50,732 --> 01:20:53,699 ♪ THERE ARE MEN 1479 01:20:53,732 --> 01:20:56,567 ♪ OF 19 OR 20 1480 01:20:56,600 --> 01:20:58,766 ♪ WHO ARE SUAVE 1481 01:20:58,799 --> 01:21:01,866 ♪ AND RECKLESS AND TRUE ♪ 1482 01:21:01,899 --> 01:21:04,200 ♪ OLDER MEN 1483 01:21:04,233 --> 01:21:06,799 ♪ WHO'LL GIVE A GIRL PLENTY ♪ 1484 01:21:06,833 --> 01:21:11,732 ♪ I'VE GOT A LOT OF LIVIN' TO DO ♪ 1485 01:21:13,266 --> 01:21:15,833 ♪ THERE'S MUSIC TO PLAY, PLACES TO GO ♪ 1486 01:21:15,866 --> 01:21:17,799 ♪ PEOPLE TO SEE 1487 01:21:17,833 --> 01:21:24,500 ♪ EVERYTHING FOR YOU AND ME... ♪ 1488 01:21:30,866 --> 01:21:32,766 HEY! HEY! 1489 01:21:32,799 --> 01:21:35,433 HEY, YOU KIDS LIVE AROUND HERE NOW, DON'T YOU? 1490 01:21:35,467 --> 01:21:36,633 YES, MR. BIRDIE! 1491 01:21:36,666 --> 01:21:37,866 WHAT'S THE LOW-DOWN ON THIS TOWN? 1492 01:21:37,899 --> 01:21:39,766 WHERE DO YOU GO TO HAVE A BALL? 1493 01:21:39,799 --> 01:21:42,933 WELL, THERE'S THE CHURCH BASEMENT 1494 01:21:42,966 --> 01:21:44,732 AND THE SWEET SHOP. 1495 01:21:44,766 --> 01:21:47,567 - THE OLDER KIDS GO TO THE ICEHOUSE. - YEAH? WHY? 1496 01:21:47,600 --> 01:21:49,833 - WHAT'S THERE? - IT HAPPENS, MR. BIRDIE, 1497 01:21:49,866 --> 01:21:51,732 THE ICEHOUSE IS WHERE THEY GO 1498 01:21:51,766 --> 01:21:53,799 WHEN THEY WANT TO BE ALONE. 1499 01:21:53,833 --> 01:21:56,833 HEY, YOU'RE THAT CHICK I WAS SUPPOSED TO KISS. 1500 01:21:56,866 --> 01:22:00,200 I AM NOT A CHICK. I'M A FULLY GROWN WOMAN, 1501 01:22:00,233 --> 01:22:02,766 AND I INSIST ON BEING TREATED AS SUCH. 1502 01:22:02,799 --> 01:22:05,233 AS A MATTER OF FACT, THAT'S WHY I'M LEAVING HOME. 1503 01:22:05,266 --> 01:22:08,866 NOW YOU'RE TALKING! COME ON, LET'S MOVE. WE GOT THINGS TO DO. 1504 01:22:11,933 --> 01:22:14,400 ♪ CRAZY CLOTHES 1505 01:22:14,433 --> 01:22:17,333 ♪ AND MOTORBOAT RACES 1506 01:22:17,366 --> 01:22:19,766 ♪ SOMEONE NICE 1507 01:22:19,799 --> 01:22:22,699 ♪ TO CUDDLE UP TO 1508 01:22:22,732 --> 01:22:25,233 ♪ BROADWAY LIGHTS 1509 01:22:25,266 --> 01:22:28,166 ♪ AND WIDE-OPEN SPACES 1510 01:22:28,200 --> 01:22:33,333 ♪ THERE'S SUCH A LOT OF LIVIN' TO DO ♪ 1511 01:22:33,366 --> 01:22:35,333 ♪ LOTS OF DATES 1512 01:22:35,366 --> 01:22:37,933 - ♪ AND NO ONE TO SCOLD YOU - Girl: OH YEAH! 1513 01:22:37,966 --> 01:22:40,567 ♪ LOOP-THE-LOOP 1514 01:22:40,600 --> 01:22:43,500 ♪ AND LAUGH AT THE VIEW 1515 01:22:43,533 --> 01:22:45,899 ♪ MOONLIGHT SWIMS 1516 01:22:45,933 --> 01:22:48,500 ♪ AND SOMEONE TO HOLD YOU ♪ 1517 01:22:48,533 --> 01:22:54,166 ♪ YEAH, WE'VE GOT A LOT OF LIVIN' TO DO ♪ 1518 01:22:54,200 --> 01:22:57,732 ♪ THERE'S MUSIC TO PLAY, PLACES TO GO ♪ 1519 01:22:57,766 --> 01:22:59,732 ♪ PEOPLE TO SEE 1520 01:22:59,766 --> 01:23:01,732 ♪ EVERYTHING... 1521 01:23:01,766 --> 01:23:02,866 - YEAH! - OH! 1522 01:23:05,433 --> 01:23:07,799 ( police radio chatter ) 1523 01:23:21,666 --> 01:23:23,799 SHH. 1524 01:23:23,833 --> 01:23:26,833 ( softly ) ♪ LIFE'S A BALL 1525 01:23:26,866 --> 01:23:30,699 ♪ IF ONLY YOU KNOW IT 1526 01:23:30,732 --> 01:23:33,266 ♪ AND IT'S ALL 1527 01:23:33,300 --> 01:23:36,266 ♪ JUST WAITING FOR YOU 1528 01:23:36,300 --> 01:23:38,766 ( louder ) ♪ YOU'RE ALIVE 1529 01:23:38,799 --> 01:23:41,467 ♪ SO COME ON AND SHOW IT... ♪ 1530 01:23:41,500 --> 01:23:44,400 - YEAH! - ♪ WE'VE GOT A LOT OF LIVIN' ♪ 1531 01:23:44,433 --> 01:23:47,333 ♪ SUCH A LOT OF LIVIN' 1532 01:23:47,366 --> 01:23:51,732 ♪ WHAT A LOT OF LIVIN' TO ♪ 1533 01:23:51,766 --> 01:23:55,600 ♪ DO. 1534 01:24:05,799 --> 01:24:07,866 - KIM! - KIM? 1535 01:24:07,899 --> 01:24:10,233 - KIM! - KIM! 1536 01:24:10,266 --> 01:24:12,467 KIM, WHERE ARE YOU? 1537 01:24:12,500 --> 01:24:13,699 ( bicycle bell rings ) 1538 01:24:13,732 --> 01:24:17,200 HUGO, HAVE YOU SEEN KIM? 1539 01:24:17,233 --> 01:24:19,799 DON'T ASK ME. 1540 01:24:19,833 --> 01:24:22,500 - ASK CONRAD BIRDIE. - WHAT'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 1541 01:24:22,533 --> 01:24:24,799 THEY'RE OUT HAVING MOONLIGHT SWIMS 1542 01:24:24,833 --> 01:24:26,766 AND MOTORBOAT RACES AND LOOP-THE-LOOP. 1543 01:24:26,799 --> 01:24:28,400 MOONLIGHT SWIMS? 1544 01:24:28,433 --> 01:24:30,266 MOTORBOAT RACES? 1545 01:24:30,300 --> 01:24:32,266 AREN'T YOU GOING TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT?! 1546 01:24:32,300 --> 01:24:33,899 I'M GOING TO DO THE SENSIBLE THING 1547 01:24:33,933 --> 01:24:35,433 AND DRINK MYSELF TO DEATH. 1548 01:24:36,467 --> 01:24:39,266 "LOOP-THE-LOOP," DORIS. GET MY GUN. 1549 01:24:39,300 --> 01:24:42,666 HARRY, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU DON'T OWN A GUN. 1550 01:24:42,699 --> 01:24:43,833 WHERE'S THAT DAISY AIR RIFLE? 1551 01:24:43,866 --> 01:24:45,866 - DAD, IT'S MINE. - YOU SHUT UP! 1552 01:24:45,899 --> 01:24:49,133 WHERE CAN I BUY BBs THIS TIME OF NIGHT? 1553 01:24:51,833 --> 01:24:53,799 HERE'S THE DAISY AIR RIFLE. 1554 01:24:53,833 --> 01:24:55,799 I THINK IT'S BROKEN. 1555 01:24:55,833 --> 01:24:58,766 THE BOW AND ARROW SET WITH THE SUCTION TIPS 1556 01:24:58,799 --> 01:25:00,567 I BOUGHT YOU LAST CHRISTMAS? 1557 01:25:00,600 --> 01:25:01,666 DON'T JUST STAND THERE! 1558 01:25:01,699 --> 01:25:04,766 YOUR SISTER'S RUN OFF TO LOOP-THE-LOOP WITH A FIEND! 1559 01:25:04,799 --> 01:25:07,266 GET ME A WATER GUN! 1560 01:25:08,533 --> 01:25:10,500 ( sighs ) ♪ KIDS 1561 01:25:10,533 --> 01:25:14,300 ♪ I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH THESE KIDS TODAY ♪ 1562 01:25:14,333 --> 01:25:18,133 ♪ KIDS! WHO CAN UNDERSTAND ANYTHING THEY SAY? ♪ 1563 01:25:19,300 --> 01:25:21,866 ♪ KIDS! THEY ARE DISOBEDIENT ♪ 1564 01:25:21,899 --> 01:25:24,333 ♪ DISRESPECTFUL OAFS 1565 01:25:24,366 --> 01:25:26,933 ♪ NOISY, CRAZY, SLOPPY, LAZY LOAFERS ♪ 1566 01:25:26,966 --> 01:25:29,233 ♪ AND WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT ♪ 1567 01:25:29,266 --> 01:25:33,533 ♪ KIDS! YOU CAN TALK AND TALK TILL YOUR FACE IS BLUE ♪ 1568 01:25:33,567 --> 01:25:37,400 ♪ KIDS! BUT THEY STILL DO JUST WHAT THEY WANT TO DO ♪ 1569 01:25:38,766 --> 01:25:40,933 ♪ WHY CAN'T THEY BE LIKE WE WERE? ♪ 1570 01:25:40,966 --> 01:25:42,833 ♪ PERFECT IN EVERY WAY 1571 01:25:42,866 --> 01:25:46,732 ♪ WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH KIDS TODAY? ♪ 1572 01:25:48,200 --> 01:25:49,766 ♪ KIDS! 1573 01:25:51,666 --> 01:25:53,666 I DON'T MIND THE MOONLIGHT SWIMS. 1574 01:25:53,699 --> 01:25:56,233 IT'S THE LOOP-THE-LOOP THAT HURTS. KIDS! 1575 01:25:58,766 --> 01:26:01,333 WHY DON'T THEY LOWER THAT DRAFT AGE TO ABOUT 11? 1576 01:26:01,366 --> 01:26:02,799 ♪ KIDS! 1577 01:26:05,600 --> 01:26:08,866 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT PUBERTY WAS TILL I WAS ALMOST PAST IT. 1578 01:26:08,899 --> 01:26:11,633 ♪ LAUGHING, SINGING, DANCING, GRINNING MORONS ♪ 1579 01:26:11,666 --> 01:26:13,699 ♪ AND WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT ♪ 1580 01:26:13,732 --> 01:26:17,633 ♪ KIDS! THEY ARE JUST IMPOSSIBLE TO CONTROL ♪ 1581 01:26:17,666 --> 01:26:22,266 ♪ KIDS! WITH THEIR AWFUL CLOTHES AND THEIR ROCK AND ROLL ♪ 1582 01:26:22,300 --> 01:26:25,600 ♪ WHY CAN'T THEY DANCE LIKE WE DID? ♪ 1583 01:26:25,633 --> 01:26:27,467 IN A ROMANTIC WAY. 1584 01:26:27,500 --> 01:26:29,633 HEY, PA. I GOT A PEASHOOTER. 1585 01:26:29,666 --> 01:26:32,799 NOW, WHAT GOOD IS-- GIVE ME THIS THING. 1586 01:26:32,833 --> 01:26:39,833 ♪ WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH KIDS TODAY? ♪ 1587 01:26:46,933 --> 01:26:49,300 WHAT TIME DOES THE MEETING START? 1588 01:26:49,333 --> 01:26:51,699 SOON AS HE CLOSES UP. 1589 01:27:01,200 --> 01:27:02,833 ( clears throat ) 1590 01:27:05,300 --> 01:27:07,699 - YEAH? - GIVE ME A DOUBLE SCOTCH ON THE ROCKS-- 1591 01:27:07,732 --> 01:27:10,433 - HEAVY ON THE ROCKS. - HOW OLD ARE YOU? 1592 01:27:10,467 --> 01:27:12,766 - 32. - GET OUTTA HERE! 1593 01:27:12,799 --> 01:27:15,766 - WHAT ABOUT A BEER? - I SAID, 1594 01:27:15,799 --> 01:27:17,899 "GET OUTTA HERE." 1595 01:27:17,933 --> 01:27:20,300 LET ME SIT HERE WITH AN EMPTY GLASS. 1596 01:27:20,333 --> 01:27:21,766 I WON'T MAKE ANY NOISE. 1597 01:27:21,799 --> 01:27:22,799 COULD I HAVE SOME WATER? 1598 01:27:22,833 --> 01:27:25,766 I'M THROWING YOU OUT THE BACK DOOR, YOU KNOW WHY? 1599 01:27:25,799 --> 01:27:27,333 - WHY? - 'CAUSE YOU'RE A MINOR. 1600 01:27:27,366 --> 01:27:30,699 OKAY, BUT THAT'S THE LAST TIME 1601 01:27:30,732 --> 01:27:33,633 I DO MY DRINKING IN THIS PLACE! 1602 01:27:36,732 --> 01:27:39,300 AND DON'T COME BACK UNTIL YOU'RE 32. 1603 01:27:45,799 --> 01:27:47,833 DOUBLE BOURBON! 1604 01:27:52,732 --> 01:27:53,933 SCOTCH ON THE SIDE. 1605 01:27:53,966 --> 01:27:56,533 GOT YOU, YEAH. 1606 01:28:00,433 --> 01:28:02,732 AND PUT A CHERRY IN IT. 1607 01:28:02,766 --> 01:28:04,266 A CHERRY? 1608 01:28:04,300 --> 01:28:05,666 MAKE THAT TWO CHERRIES, 1609 01:28:05,699 --> 01:28:07,732 AND BRING ON THE DANCING BOYS. 1610 01:28:07,766 --> 01:28:11,433 ALVAREZ IS THE NAME. CALL ME SPANISH ROSE. 1611 01:28:11,467 --> 01:28:13,899 ♪ OH, CUANTO LA GUSTA, LA GUSTA, LA GUSTA ♪ 1612 01:28:13,933 --> 01:28:15,799 ♪ LA GUSTA, LA GUSTA, YAY... ♪ 1613 01:28:15,833 --> 01:28:18,833 - WOULD YOU HOLD IT DOWN, PLEASE? - WAIT A MINUTE, 1614 01:28:18,866 --> 01:28:21,699 I HAVE A RIGHT TO HAVE A DRINK HERE IF I CHOOSE, 1615 01:28:21,732 --> 01:28:24,567 AND GET AS LOUD AS I WANT IF I CHOOSE! 1616 01:28:24,600 --> 01:28:26,666 THIS IS SPANISH ROSE'S COMING-OUT PARTY. 1617 01:28:26,699 --> 01:28:28,699 WHEN I SAY "COMING OUT," I MEAN COMING OUT! 1618 01:28:28,732 --> 01:28:31,866 LOOK, IF THERE'S A MAN INVOLVED, 1619 01:28:31,899 --> 01:28:33,200 IT'S NOT WORTH IT. 1620 01:28:33,233 --> 01:28:35,666 TROUBLE IS, HE'S NOT A MAN, 1621 01:28:35,699 --> 01:28:37,300 HE'S A MOMMA'S BOY. 1622 01:28:37,333 --> 01:28:38,732 OH, THAT'S BAD. 1623 01:28:38,766 --> 01:28:40,333 AND HIS MOMMA HATES ME. 1624 01:28:40,366 --> 01:28:43,200 MOMMA'S BOYS' MOMMAS ALWAYS DO. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? 1625 01:28:43,233 --> 01:28:47,366 ♪ I'M JUST A SPANISH TAMALE, SHE LOVES TO SAY ♪ 1626 01:28:47,400 --> 01:28:51,233 ♪ RIGHT OFF THE BOAT FROM THE TROPICS, FAR, FAR AWAY... ♪ 1627 01:28:51,266 --> 01:28:52,833 WHICH IS KIND OF FUNNY, 1628 01:28:52,866 --> 01:28:55,500 SINCE I COME FROM ROMANTIC, EXOTIC 1629 01:28:55,533 --> 01:28:58,766 ♪ PITTSBURGH, P.A... 1630 01:28:58,799 --> 01:29:00,699 OH, SHE THINKS I'M SPANISH? 1631 01:29:00,732 --> 01:29:02,732 I COULD SHOW HER SPANISH-- 1632 01:29:02,766 --> 01:29:05,766 IF I EVER MARRY THAT MOUSE. 1633 01:29:05,799 --> 01:29:09,933 ♪ I'LL COOK THE TACO AND THE ENCHILADA ♪ 1634 01:29:09,966 --> 01:29:13,166 ♪ AND DAY AND NIGHT MY CASTANETS WILL CLICK ♪ 1635 01:29:14,567 --> 01:29:18,300 ♪ THE ONLY SONG I'LL SING WILL BE "GRANADA" ♪ 1636 01:29:18,333 --> 01:29:21,899 ♪ I'LL BE SO SPANISH, IT WILL MAKE HER SICK ♪ 1637 01:29:21,933 --> 01:29:26,166 ♪ SHE'LL VISIT IN OUR COZY HACIENDA ♪ 1638 01:29:26,200 --> 01:29:29,833 ♪ MY RED-HOT CHILI, IT WILL MAKE HER CRY ♪ 1639 01:29:29,866 --> 01:29:33,799 ♪ THE DAIQUIRIS WILL POUR OUT OF MY BLENDER ♪ 1640 01:29:33,833 --> 01:29:37,467 ♪ AND THEN WE DANCE FLAMENCO, AY-YI-YI ♪ 1641 01:29:37,500 --> 01:29:41,567 ♪ WATCH OUT FOR THE WILD SPANISH ROSE ♪ 1642 01:29:41,600 --> 01:29:45,500 ♪ THE WICKEDEST FLOWER THAT GROWS ♪ 1643 01:29:45,533 --> 01:29:49,400 ♪ HER SKIRT, SHE IS SPLIT, HER HIPS NEVER QUIT ♪ 1644 01:29:49,433 --> 01:29:53,166 ♪ THAT SPITFIRE SPANISH ROSE ♪ 1645 01:30:08,966 --> 01:30:13,500 - ♪ HEY, MRS. P., BE MY MAMACITA... ♪ - ( kissing ) 1646 01:30:13,533 --> 01:30:16,799 ♪ A REAL LATINA DAUGHTER I WILL BE ♪ 1647 01:30:16,833 --> 01:30:21,233 ♪ TOGETHER WE WILL SHOP AT THE BODEGA ♪ 1648 01:30:21,266 --> 01:30:23,899 ♪ THEN WATCH THE SPANISH CHANNEL ON TV... ♪ 1649 01:30:23,933 --> 01:30:25,699 HOLA. 1650 01:30:25,732 --> 01:30:28,866 ♪ AND THEN BEFORE LONG, I SUPPOSE ♪ 1651 01:30:28,899 --> 01:30:32,732 ♪ YOU'LL HELP US PICK OUT BABY CLOTHES ♪ 1652 01:30:32,766 --> 01:30:36,833 ♪ FOR JUAN AND ENRIQUE, ROSA, ANITA ♪ 1653 01:30:36,866 --> 01:30:40,866 ♪ JOSE AND CARMEN, JESUS, CONSUELO ♪ 1654 01:30:40,899 --> 01:30:44,766 ♪ MOMMA, YOU CAN BET YOUR BOTTOM PESO ♪ 1655 01:30:44,799 --> 01:30:48,833 ♪ SOMEDAY I MAKE HIM ONE TERRIFIC WIFE ♪ 1656 01:30:48,866 --> 01:30:51,799 ♪ IT GIVES ME MUCHO HAPPINESS TO SAY SO ♪ 1657 01:30:51,833 --> 01:30:56,233 ♪ WITH ME, YOUR SONNY BOY COULD HAVE A LIFE ♪ 1658 01:30:56,266 --> 01:31:00,166 ♪ SO, BOYS, NOW YOU'VE MET SPANISH ROSE ♪ 1659 01:31:00,200 --> 01:31:03,732 ♪ THE WICKEDEST FLOWER THAT GROWS ♪ 1660 01:31:03,766 --> 01:31:07,866 ♪ I'M WILD, AND I'M FREE, I'M WHAT I MUST BE ♪ 1661 01:31:07,899 --> 01:31:10,600 ♪ DON'T WORRY 'BOUT ME 1662 01:31:12,500 --> 01:31:14,166 ♪ SPANISH ROSE. 1663 01:31:17,633 --> 01:31:18,799 ( telephone rings ) 1664 01:31:18,833 --> 01:31:20,467 - HELLO. - YES, 1665 01:31:20,500 --> 01:31:22,166 THIS IS ALBERT J. PETERSON SPEAKING. 1666 01:31:22,200 --> 01:31:23,699 IS ROSE ALVAREZ THERE? 1667 01:31:23,732 --> 01:31:25,833 - WHO? - CUANTO, CUANTO LA GUSTA. 1668 01:31:25,866 --> 01:31:28,866 I THINK I HEAR HER. COULD YOU PUT HER ON THE PHONE? 1669 01:31:28,899 --> 01:31:31,333 CUANTO, CUANTO LA GUSTA, LA GUSTA. 1670 01:31:31,366 --> 01:31:33,699 SOME GUY NAMED PETERSON WANTS TO TALK TO YOU. 1671 01:31:33,732 --> 01:31:37,366 TELL THAT WEASELY LITTLE RAT I'M NOT HERE. 1672 01:31:37,400 --> 01:31:40,766 THAT PROVES IT'S HER. WHO ELSE WOULD KNOW I'M A WEASELY LITTLE RAT? 1673 01:31:42,799 --> 01:31:46,600 - WHAT? - ROSE, I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT CONRAD. 1674 01:31:46,633 --> 01:31:48,833 EVEN IF I WERE THIS "ROSE," WHICH I AM NOT, 1675 01:31:48,866 --> 01:31:51,400 THE ONE THING THAT WOULD MAKE ME HANG UP 1676 01:31:51,433 --> 01:31:53,366 IS ANY MENTION OF ANYONE NAMED CONRAD! 1677 01:31:53,400 --> 01:31:56,732 NO, ROSE, ROSE! PLEASE DON'T HANG UP. PLEASE DON'T HANG UP. 1678 01:31:56,766 --> 01:31:59,333 I WON'T MENTION CONRAD. 1679 01:31:59,366 --> 01:32:00,799 We can talk about anything-- 1680 01:32:00,833 --> 01:32:03,833 you and me. 1681 01:32:03,866 --> 01:32:06,833 YOU AND I. 1682 01:32:06,866 --> 01:32:08,467 ANYTHING. 1683 01:32:10,633 --> 01:32:14,366 OH, ROSIE, PLEASE... 1684 01:32:14,400 --> 01:32:18,233 ♪ TALK TO ME, BABY 1685 01:32:18,266 --> 01:32:20,133 ♪ WON'T YOU TALK TO ME? ♪ 1686 01:32:21,833 --> 01:32:24,766 ♪ I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY ♪ 1687 01:32:25,933 --> 01:32:29,266 ♪ BABY, TALK TO ME 1688 01:32:31,500 --> 01:32:33,732 ♪ Must you be 1689 01:32:33,766 --> 01:32:37,732 ♪ Oh, so far away from me? ♪ 1690 01:32:37,766 --> 01:32:41,833 ♪ IT SEEMS ALL WRONG THIS WAY ♪ 1691 01:32:41,866 --> 01:32:45,233 ♪ TALK TO ME 1692 01:32:46,732 --> 01:32:49,366 - ♪ AND IF YOU MISS ME - ♪ Mmm 1693 01:32:49,400 --> 01:32:51,567 ♪ Tell me so 1694 01:32:51,600 --> 01:32:53,633 - ♪ Are you lonely? - ♪ Mmm 1695 01:32:53,666 --> 01:32:55,600 ♪ TELL ME SO 1696 01:32:55,633 --> 01:32:57,633 ♪ SAY YOU LOVE ME 1697 01:32:57,666 --> 01:32:59,600 ♪ TELL ME SO 1698 01:32:59,633 --> 01:33:00,633 ♪ HONEY 1699 01:33:00,666 --> 01:33:02,766 ♪ Honey 1700 01:33:02,799 --> 01:33:04,500 ♪ Let me know 1701 01:33:04,533 --> 01:33:05,699 ♪ Mmm 1702 01:33:05,732 --> 01:33:07,666 ♪ TALK TO ME 1703 01:33:07,699 --> 01:33:11,866 ♪ TILL I PRESS YOU CLOSE TO ME ♪ 1704 01:33:11,899 --> 01:33:14,266 ♪ THEN YOU'LL SEE 1705 01:33:14,300 --> 01:33:18,866 ♪ WE WON'T HAVE TO TALK AT ALL ♪ 1706 01:33:18,899 --> 01:33:20,666 ♪ Must you be 1707 01:33:20,699 --> 01:33:25,732 ♪ Oh, so far away from me, baby? ♪ 1708 01:33:25,766 --> 01:33:29,633 - ♪ I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY - ♪ Oh, baby, talk 1709 01:33:29,666 --> 01:33:30,699 ♪ TALK TO ME 1710 01:33:30,732 --> 01:33:33,833 ♪ Go on, what can you lose? It ain't gonna hurt ♪ 1711 01:33:33,866 --> 01:33:38,500 - ♪ AND IF YOU MISS ME - ♪ Tell him so 1712 01:33:38,533 --> 01:33:40,400 ♪ ARE YOU LONELY? 1713 01:33:40,433 --> 01:33:42,500 ♪ Baby, baby, tell him so ♪ 1714 01:33:42,533 --> 01:33:44,799 ♪ SAY YOU LOVE ME 1715 01:33:44,833 --> 01:33:46,699 ♪ TELL ME SO 1716 01:33:46,732 --> 01:33:50,833 ♪ Honey, honey 1717 01:33:50,866 --> 01:33:54,833 ♪ LET ME KNOW, TALK TO ME ♪ 1718 01:33:54,866 --> 01:33:59,366 ♪ TILL I PRESS YOU CLOSE TO ME ♪ 1719 01:33:59,400 --> 01:34:02,333 ♪ THEN YOU'LL SEE 1720 01:34:02,366 --> 01:34:10,467 ♪ WE WON'T HAVE TO TALK AT ALL ♪ 1721 01:34:10,500 --> 01:34:13,600 ♪ Till I press you close to me ♪ 1722 01:34:13,633 --> 01:34:16,732 ♪ Then you'll see 1723 01:34:16,766 --> 01:34:20,433 ♪ WE WON'T HAVE TO TALK... ♪ 1724 01:34:20,467 --> 01:34:22,400 ♪ Ahh 1725 01:34:22,433 --> 01:34:25,233 ♪ Ahh 1726 01:34:25,266 --> 01:34:28,233 ♪ AT ALL 1727 01:34:28,266 --> 01:34:30,500 ♪ Talk to me 1728 01:34:30,533 --> 01:34:32,732 ♪ Talk to me 1729 01:34:32,766 --> 01:34:35,400 ♪ Talk to me 1730 01:34:35,433 --> 01:34:39,766 ♪ Talk to me 1731 01:34:39,799 --> 01:34:42,433 All: ♪ HMMMMM. 1732 01:34:46,899 --> 01:34:50,133 ROSE, ARE YOU ALONE? 1733 01:34:51,833 --> 01:34:53,600 NO, I'M NOT ALONE, ALBERT. 1734 01:34:53,633 --> 01:34:55,600 I'M WITH FRIENDS. THANK YOU. 1735 01:34:55,633 --> 01:34:56,866 SEE YOU LATER, BOYS. 1736 01:34:56,899 --> 01:34:58,533 "SEE YOU LATER, BOYS"? 1737 01:34:58,567 --> 01:35:00,233 AND THAT'S ONLY THE BEGINNING, ALBERT. 1738 01:35:00,266 --> 01:35:02,166 FROM NOW ON, THE SKY'S THE LIMIT. 1739 01:35:02,200 --> 01:35:04,699 PARTIES, BALLS, DANCES... 1740 01:35:04,732 --> 01:35:07,866 OH, CUANTO, CUANTO LA GUSTA. 1741 01:35:08,933 --> 01:35:11,699 - ROSIE? RO-- - ( clicking ) 1742 01:35:11,732 --> 01:35:13,732 ROSIE? ROSE! 1743 01:35:22,899 --> 01:35:26,200 - HEY, WHAT GOES ON IN THERE? - THAT'S A PRIVATE ROOM. 1744 01:35:26,233 --> 01:35:30,467 - PRIVATE FOR WHOM? - FOR MEN ONLY, THAT'S FOR WHOM. 1745 01:35:30,500 --> 01:35:33,699 LISTEN, LADY, FINISH UP YOUR DRINK NOW, OKAY? 1746 01:35:33,732 --> 01:35:35,333 I'M TRYING TO CLOSE UP. 1747 01:35:43,666 --> 01:35:45,200 MEN ONLY, HUH? 1748 01:35:45,233 --> 01:35:47,467 THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR. 1749 01:35:57,300 --> 01:35:59,933 Bartender: GENTLEMEN, BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME, 1750 01:35:59,966 --> 01:36:02,600 I DO HEREBY DECLARE THIS WEEKLY MEETING 1751 01:36:02,633 --> 01:36:04,866 OF THE MYSTIC ORDER OF THE EAST 1752 01:36:04,899 --> 01:36:06,699 IN SESSION. 1753 01:36:06,732 --> 01:36:08,699 FIRST I'D LIKE TO REMIND YOU 1754 01:36:08,732 --> 01:36:12,400 ABOUT OUR ANNUAL WEENIE ROAST ON AUGUST 4th, 1755 01:36:12,433 --> 01:36:14,600 AND TO THANK DRUCKER'S MEAT MARKET 1756 01:36:14,633 --> 01:36:16,500 FOR DONATING THE WEENIES. 1757 01:36:16,533 --> 01:36:18,433 NOW I'D LIKE TO BRING UP A SUBJECT 1758 01:36:18,467 --> 01:36:21,166 THAT I'M SURE IS ON EVERYBODY'S MIND TONIGHT. 1759 01:36:21,200 --> 01:36:24,500 IT'S A SUBJECT THAT'S DIFFICULT TO EXPRESS-- 1760 01:36:24,533 --> 01:36:25,866 ( Middle-Eastern music playing ) 1761 01:37:22,933 --> 01:37:24,400 ( growls ) 1762 01:38:36,533 --> 01:38:38,899 ( music fades out ) 1763 01:38:55,333 --> 01:38:57,133 ( music continues ) 1764 01:39:05,433 --> 01:39:07,266 ( groans, screams ) 1765 01:39:12,500 --> 01:39:14,866 ( shouting, screaming ) 1766 01:39:28,333 --> 01:39:30,366 ( screaming ) 1767 01:39:38,400 --> 01:39:39,467 HEY! 1768 01:39:41,732 --> 01:39:42,766 HEY! 1769 01:39:45,899 --> 01:39:46,833 HEY! 1770 01:39:49,233 --> 01:39:50,266 HEY! 1771 01:39:51,600 --> 01:39:52,699 HEY! 1772 01:39:53,732 --> 01:39:54,799 HIYA! 1773 01:39:57,866 --> 01:39:58,732 HA! 1774 01:40:24,699 --> 01:40:25,799 HEY! 1775 01:41:05,200 --> 01:41:06,433 HEY! 1776 01:41:12,600 --> 01:41:16,467 ♪ WHEN I SING ABOUT A TREE ♪ 1777 01:41:18,799 --> 01:41:21,166 ♪ I REALLY FEEL THAT TREE ♪ 1778 01:41:24,732 --> 01:41:32,300 ♪ WHEN I SING ABOUT A GIRL, I REALLY FEEL THAT GIRL ♪ 1779 01:41:32,333 --> 01:41:40,300 ♪ I MEAN, I REALLY FEEL SINCERE. ♪ 1780 01:41:40,333 --> 01:41:42,467 ( men shouting ) 1781 01:41:45,933 --> 01:41:48,467 - SORRY. - OH, THANKS. 1782 01:41:48,500 --> 01:41:51,300 HUGO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 1783 01:41:51,333 --> 01:41:53,732 MY WHOLE WORLD IS COLLAPSING BEFORE ME. 1784 01:41:53,766 --> 01:41:55,633 KIM HAS RUN OFF WITH CONRAD BIRDIE. 1785 01:41:55,666 --> 01:41:57,433 ( gasps ) WHERE'D THEY GO? 1786 01:41:57,467 --> 01:41:59,933 MY GREATEST FEAR IS THEY'VE GONE TO THE ICEHOUSE. 1787 01:41:59,966 --> 01:42:02,699 WELL, LET'S GO. 1788 01:42:02,732 --> 01:42:04,333 RIGHT, HOP ON. 1789 01:42:15,633 --> 01:42:18,766 I DON'T KNOW WHY WE HAVE TO RUN AROUND LOOKING FOR SOMEONE 1790 01:42:18,799 --> 01:42:20,732 IT WOULD BE BETTER NOT TO FIND. 1791 01:42:20,766 --> 01:42:23,799 LISTEN TO ME, SONNY BOY, COME HOME, HAVE A CUP OF POSTUM 1792 01:42:23,833 --> 01:42:24,966 AND GO TO BED. 1793 01:42:24,999 --> 01:42:28,166 I TOLD YOU I'M NOT COMING HOME UNTIL I FIND ROSIE. 1794 01:42:28,200 --> 01:42:30,866 IF YOU WANT TO GO BACK HOME, IT'S FINE. 1795 01:42:30,899 --> 01:42:33,567 IT'S NOT A BAD IDEA. WHY DON'T YOU GO HOME, MOMMA? 1796 01:42:35,300 --> 01:42:36,799 WHAT DID YOU SAY, DARLING SWEETHEART? 1797 01:42:36,833 --> 01:42:39,899 I SAID, "WHY DON'T YOU GO HOME, MOMMA?" 1798 01:42:41,866 --> 01:42:45,233 WOULD YOU MIND REPEATING THAT ONCE MORE, SUNSHINE OF MY EXISTENCE? 1799 01:42:45,266 --> 01:42:48,500 I SAID, "GO HOME, MOMMA." 1800 01:42:49,899 --> 01:42:51,833 I DON'T NEED YOU ANYMORE. 1801 01:42:55,300 --> 01:42:58,200 SO IT'S COME AT LAST. 1802 01:42:58,233 --> 01:43:00,533 AT LAST, IT'S COME. 1803 01:43:00,567 --> 01:43:03,799 THE DAY I KNEW WOULD COME AT LAST HAS COME AT LAST. 1804 01:43:03,833 --> 01:43:06,899 MY SONNY BOY DOESN'T NEED ME ANY LONGER. 1805 01:43:19,667 --> 01:43:21,166 WELL, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? 1806 01:43:21,200 --> 01:43:22,933 GET RID OF ME. 1807 01:43:22,966 --> 01:43:25,667 PUT ME OUT WITH THE GARBAGE. 1808 01:43:25,699 --> 01:43:29,366 JUST THROW ME OUT WITH THE USED GRAPEFRUITS 1809 01:43:29,400 --> 01:43:32,200 AND THE EMPTY CANS FROM THE TUNA FISH. 1810 01:43:32,233 --> 01:43:34,899 AND NEVER MIND PUTTING THE LID ON-- 1811 01:43:34,933 --> 01:43:36,266 LEAVE IT OFF 1812 01:43:36,300 --> 01:43:38,400 SO A 100,000 PUSSYCATS 1813 01:43:38,433 --> 01:43:40,667 CAN WALK ALL OVER A MOTHER! 1814 01:43:40,699 --> 01:43:43,933 WHO BRONZED YOUR BABY SHOES, 1815 01:43:43,966 --> 01:43:47,433 KISSED EVERY LITTLE BRUISE? 1816 01:43:48,933 --> 01:43:54,433 ♪ PICKED YOUR DIRTY SOCKS UP OFF THE FLOOR? ♪ 1817 01:43:56,833 --> 01:44:00,699 ♪ YOU COUGHED AND WHO WAS THERE? ♪ 1818 01:44:00,732 --> 01:44:04,833 ♪ IT'S JUST TOO HARD TO BEAR ♪ 1819 01:44:04,866 --> 01:44:09,799 ♪ A MOTHER DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE ♪ 1820 01:44:12,899 --> 01:44:16,266 ♪ WITH BUNIONS ON MY FEET ♪ 1821 01:44:16,300 --> 01:44:20,266 ♪ I TRUDGED THROUGH SNOW AND SLEET ♪ 1822 01:44:20,300 --> 01:44:24,899 ♪ TO BRING YOU LICORICE FROM THE CORNER STORE ♪ 1823 01:44:27,633 --> 01:44:31,300 ♪ I SOLD MY TIFFANY LAMP 1824 01:44:31,333 --> 01:44:33,866 ♪ SO YOU COULD GO TO CAMP ♪ 1825 01:44:33,899 --> 01:44:35,500 MOMMA. 1826 01:44:35,533 --> 01:44:40,166 ♪ NOW A MOTHER DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE... ♪ 1827 01:44:41,266 --> 01:44:43,366 THAT'S IT. I'M READY TO GO. 1828 01:44:43,400 --> 01:44:46,366 AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO SPEND A CENT. 1829 01:44:46,400 --> 01:44:48,766 FANCY FUNERALS ARE FOR RICH PEOPLE. 1830 01:44:48,799 --> 01:44:50,732 JUST WRAP ME IN A FLAG 1831 01:44:50,766 --> 01:44:53,833 AND DUMP ME IN THE RIVER ON MOTHER'S DAY. 1832 01:44:53,866 --> 01:44:56,732 ♪ AND, PRECIOUS, BY THE WAY ♪ 1833 01:44:56,766 --> 01:44:59,732 ♪ THE DOCTOR CALLED TODAY ♪ 1834 01:44:59,766 --> 01:45:03,567 - MOMMA. - ♪ WHAT I GOT'S A CONDITION ♪ 1835 01:45:03,600 --> 01:45:05,366 ♪ YES, HE'S SURE 1836 01:45:07,200 --> 01:45:10,667 ♪ THERE'S NOTHING THEY CAN DO ♪ 1837 01:45:10,699 --> 01:45:12,732 ♪ I'LL LAST A WEEK 1838 01:45:12,766 --> 01:45:14,467 ♪ OR TWO 1839 01:45:14,500 --> 01:45:19,500 ♪ BECAUSE FOR A CONDITION THERE'S NO CURE ♪ 1840 01:45:20,732 --> 01:45:24,200 ♪ THAT TIME YOU CAUGHT THE CROUP ♪ 1841 01:45:24,233 --> 01:45:27,766 ♪ WHO MADE YOU CHICKEN SOUP ♪ 1842 01:45:27,799 --> 01:45:29,833 ♪ AND READ YOU "BAMBI" 1843 01:45:29,866 --> 01:45:32,667 ♪ TILL HER THROAT WAS SORE? ♪ 1844 01:45:34,200 --> 01:45:37,533 ♪ YOU SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE ♪ 1845 01:45:37,567 --> 01:45:41,799 ♪ THEN BANG! YOU GET THE KNIFE ♪ 1846 01:45:41,833 --> 01:45:47,266 ♪ NO, A MOTHER DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE... ♪ 1847 01:45:48,400 --> 01:45:50,200 - ( groans ) - AH. 1848 01:45:50,233 --> 01:45:52,899 THERE, I FEEL BETTER NOW. 1849 01:45:52,933 --> 01:45:55,533 EVERYTHING IS AS IT SHOULD BE. 1850 01:45:55,567 --> 01:45:57,933 A MOTHER IS LYING ON TOP OF A SANITATION TRUCK 1851 01:45:57,966 --> 01:45:59,600 BOUND FOR THE CITY DUMP, 1852 01:45:59,633 --> 01:46:02,366 AND A SON IS RUNNING AROUND WITH A FLOOZY 1853 01:46:02,400 --> 01:46:04,533 WHO CAME LOOKING FOR A GOOD TIME 1854 01:46:04,567 --> 01:46:08,300 AND STAYED TO RUIN AN AMERICAN WOMAN'S LIFE. 1855 01:46:08,333 --> 01:46:10,899 ♪ WHO GAVE UP NIGHTS OF REST ♪ 1856 01:46:10,933 --> 01:46:15,400 ♪ TO RUB VICKS ON YOUR CHEST? ♪ 1857 01:46:15,433 --> 01:46:17,899 ♪ WHO NURSED HER SONNY BOY ♪ 1858 01:46:17,933 --> 01:46:20,533 ♪ TILL HE WAS 4? 1859 01:46:21,899 --> 01:46:24,633 ♪ MY LIFE HAS BEEN IN VAIN ♪ 1860 01:46:24,667 --> 01:46:28,233 ♪ THIS COUNTRY'S DOWN THE DRAIN ♪ 1861 01:46:28,266 --> 01:46:30,833 ♪ 'CAUSE A MOTHER DOESN'T MATTER ♪ 1862 01:46:30,866 --> 01:46:34,266 ♪ NO, A MOTHER DOESN'T MATTER ♪ 1863 01:46:34,300 --> 01:46:43,799 ♪ YES, A MOTHER DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE. ♪ 1864 01:46:53,799 --> 01:46:55,533 ARE YOU FINISHED, MOMMA? 1865 01:46:55,567 --> 01:46:58,732 YES, SONNY BOY. 1866 01:47:00,933 --> 01:47:02,799 GOOD NIGHT, MOMMA. 1867 01:47:04,600 --> 01:47:05,866 GOOD NIGHT, SONNY BOY. 1868 01:47:10,899 --> 01:47:15,766 MY NAME IS NOT "SONNY BOY." 1869 01:47:23,366 --> 01:47:24,833 GOOD NIGHT, ALBERT. 1870 01:47:28,567 --> 01:47:30,699 GOOD NIGHT, MOMMA. 1871 01:47:34,833 --> 01:47:36,866 YOU'RE JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER! 1872 01:47:36,899 --> 01:47:38,833 YOU'D MARRY ANYTHING! 1873 01:47:51,667 --> 01:47:53,200 ( crying ) 1874 01:48:07,200 --> 01:48:08,732 WELL,THIS IS THE ICEHOUSE. 1875 01:48:08,766 --> 01:48:10,233 WHAT'S IN THERE? 1876 01:48:10,266 --> 01:48:11,766 I DON'T KNOW, ICE, I GUESS. 1877 01:48:18,899 --> 01:48:20,467 ROSE? 1878 01:48:21,866 --> 01:48:23,899 ROSIE! 1879 01:48:25,266 --> 01:48:26,233 ROSE! 1880 01:48:36,233 --> 01:48:37,333 ROSIE? 1881 01:48:45,200 --> 01:48:46,667 ( people shouting ) 1882 01:48:48,400 --> 01:48:51,600 URSULA'S GONE-- DISAPPEARED! 1883 01:48:51,633 --> 01:48:54,166 SHE LEFT THE DINNER TABLE WITHOUT EATING DESSERT. 1884 01:48:54,200 --> 01:48:55,667 I THOUGHT HARVEY WAS DOING HIS HOMEWORK. 1885 01:48:55,699 --> 01:48:57,732 HE'S WORKING ON A SCHOLARSHIP TO URSINUS. 1886 01:48:57,766 --> 01:49:00,400 WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO KIM? SHE'S A STRAIGHT A STUDENT. 1887 01:49:00,433 --> 01:49:02,933 - WE'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING. - SHOULD WE DRAG THE RIVER? 1888 01:49:02,966 --> 01:49:04,933 - WHAT'RE WE GONNA DO? - THE SHERIFF'S OUT OF TOWN 1889 01:49:04,966 --> 01:49:06,732 AT A POLICE CONVENTION IN TOLEDO. 1890 01:49:06,766 --> 01:49:09,500 - SHOULD WE DRAG THE RIVER? - WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING HERE? 1891 01:49:09,533 --> 01:49:12,533 CONRAD BIRDIE HAS RUN OFF WITH MY KIM. 1892 01:49:12,567 --> 01:49:14,366 IF I DON'T FIND THEM VERY SOON, 1893 01:49:14,400 --> 01:49:16,400 I INTEND TO CALL THE FBI. 1894 01:49:16,433 --> 01:49:18,233 NO, I'M GOING TO CALL THE CIA! 1895 01:49:18,266 --> 01:49:20,366 WHO'S THE HEAD, DEAR? IS IT STILL PETER LAWFORD? 1896 01:49:20,400 --> 01:49:22,866 WAIT A MINUTE! HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS? 1897 01:49:22,899 --> 01:49:25,633 HUGO PEABODY TOLD US THEY'D RUN OFF TOGETHER. 1898 01:49:25,667 --> 01:49:30,166 - I'M SURE IT'S NOT TRUE. - I'M SURE HE'S ABDUCTED HER, AS WELL. 1899 01:49:30,200 --> 01:49:31,366 I KNOW THAT'S NOT TRUE! 1900 01:49:31,400 --> 01:49:32,933 THEY'RE PROBABLY DOWN AT THE SWEET SHOP 1901 01:49:32,966 --> 01:49:34,567 HAVING A MALTED OR A PHOSPHATE. 1902 01:49:34,600 --> 01:49:36,633 - PHOSPHATE?! - THE SWEET SHOP IS CLOSED. 1903 01:49:36,667 --> 01:49:38,166 WHAT ABOUT THE DAIRY QUEEN? 1904 01:49:38,200 --> 01:49:40,866 CONRAD BIRDIE IS TURNING SWEET APPLE INTO A SLUM! 1905 01:49:40,899 --> 01:49:44,300 - ( shouting ) - ROSIE! 1906 01:49:44,333 --> 01:49:47,233 ROSIE, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR BLOUSE? 1907 01:49:47,266 --> 01:49:48,933 WHAT'RE YOU DOING WITH A GUITAR? 1908 01:49:48,966 --> 01:49:51,600 ALBERT, KIM AND CONRAD ARE AT THE ICEHOUSE. 1909 01:49:51,633 --> 01:49:53,233 WHAT IS THAT, A NIGHT CLUB? 1910 01:49:53,266 --> 01:49:54,732 - NO, IT'S AN ICEHOUSE. - THE ICEHOUSE? 1911 01:49:54,766 --> 01:49:56,667 - THE ICEHOUSE. - THE ICEHOUSE? 1912 01:49:56,699 --> 01:49:58,899 - THE ICEHOUSE. - THE ICEHOUSE? 1913 01:49:58,933 --> 01:50:01,500 DORIS, CALL OUT THE NATIONAL GUARD 1914 01:50:01,533 --> 01:50:03,233 AND THE R.O.T.C.! 1915 01:50:03,266 --> 01:50:06,200 CALL MR. KEEN, TRACER OF LOST PERSONS! 1916 01:50:06,233 --> 01:50:07,033 CALL THE SHADOW! 1917 01:50:07,066 --> 01:50:10,500 LOOK HIM UP UNDER LAMONT CRANSTON! 1918 01:50:14,300 --> 01:50:15,866 WHOO! 1919 01:50:15,899 --> 01:50:17,833 TO THE ICEHOUSE! 1920 01:50:31,667 --> 01:50:33,600 ( angry shouting ) 1921 01:50:42,266 --> 01:50:44,166 ( cheering, laughing ) 1922 01:51:42,233 --> 01:51:43,300 ( softly ) THE ICEHOUSE! 1923 01:51:48,766 --> 01:51:51,799 ( coughing ) 1924 01:52:00,866 --> 01:52:03,333 WELL... 1925 01:52:03,366 --> 01:52:05,200 HERE WE ARE. 1926 01:52:09,300 --> 01:52:10,866 THIS IS THE ICEHOUSE. 1927 01:52:16,533 --> 01:52:18,333 IT'S FUN, ISN'T IT? 1928 01:52:30,567 --> 01:52:34,133 ( siren wailing ) 1929 01:52:37,966 --> 01:52:43,133 WELL, WHEN YOU'VE BEEN HERE AS MANY TIMES AS I HAVE... 1930 01:52:51,799 --> 01:52:54,899 CONRAD, YOU SEEM A BIT NERVOUS. 1931 01:52:56,699 --> 01:52:59,266 MAYBE A DRAG ON THIS WEED WOULD HELP RELAX YOU. 1932 01:53:04,366 --> 01:53:07,933 HOW ABOUT ONE OF THOSE REEFERS I'VE READ SO MUCH ABOUT? 1933 01:53:07,966 --> 01:53:10,799 I COULD GO OUT AND GET YOU A FIX... 1934 01:53:10,833 --> 01:53:12,732 IF YOU TELL ME WHAT IT IS. 1935 01:53:13,899 --> 01:53:17,200 ( spits ) 1936 01:53:18,966 --> 01:53:22,433 WHEN YOU'VE HAD A DONKEY ON YOUR BACK AS LONG AS I HAVE... 1937 01:53:24,300 --> 01:53:28,899 SO YOU SEE, I REALLY KNOW THE SCORE. 1938 01:53:28,933 --> 01:53:30,799 I EVEN KNOW SOME OF THE WORDS! 1939 01:53:33,866 --> 01:53:35,633 "CONNUBIAN." 1940 01:53:35,667 --> 01:53:37,866 "PRE-MARRY-AL." 1941 01:53:37,899 --> 01:53:39,567 JAILBAIT. 1942 01:53:39,600 --> 01:53:41,933 THERE YOU ARE, O SENSUOUS ONE! 1943 01:53:41,966 --> 01:53:43,866 WE'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU EVERYWHERE! 1944 01:53:43,899 --> 01:53:46,200 THAT'S NICE. I THINK GOT TO GO NOW. 1945 01:53:46,233 --> 01:53:48,233 YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND-- WE'RE COMING WITH YOU. 1946 01:53:48,266 --> 01:53:51,233 YOU SAID IT-- WE'VE GOT A LOT OF LIVING TO DO! 1947 01:53:51,266 --> 01:53:54,233 - WAIT, WAIT. - WE'LL NEVER GO HOME AGAIN! 1948 01:53:54,266 --> 01:53:56,233 KIM, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 1949 01:53:56,266 --> 01:53:58,933 OH, HUGO, I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU. 1950 01:53:58,966 --> 01:54:01,233 IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY. 1951 01:54:01,266 --> 01:54:03,899 LOOK, I'M YOUR STEADY. 1952 01:54:03,933 --> 01:54:06,200 ( girls screaming ) 1953 01:54:07,567 --> 01:54:11,467 NO, LISTEN. THAT STUFF IS NOT AS MUCH FUN AS IT SOUNDS. 1954 01:54:11,500 --> 01:54:13,400 LET'S HAVE AN ORGY! 1955 01:54:13,433 --> 01:54:15,467 ( screaming ) 1956 01:54:40,500 --> 01:54:42,667 ( screaming ) 1957 01:54:47,899 --> 01:54:50,266 THANK GOD YOU CAME! 1958 01:54:56,699 --> 01:54:59,600 OFFICER, ARREST THIS MAN! 1959 01:55:01,333 --> 01:55:03,266 OFFICER, YOU CANNOT ARREST THIS MAN! 1960 01:55:03,300 --> 01:55:05,699 - WHAT'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT? - HE IS A FORMER EAGLE SCOUT 1961 01:55:05,732 --> 01:55:06,933 AND A SOON-TO-BE VETERAN. 1962 01:55:06,966 --> 01:55:09,433 HE IS A ROLE MODEL FOR THE YOUTH. 1963 01:55:09,467 --> 01:55:11,266 ALBERT, LET ME HANDLE THIS. 1964 01:55:11,300 --> 01:55:13,233 MR. MacAFEE, DO NOT ARREST HIM! 1965 01:55:13,266 --> 01:55:15,200 THIS IS ALBERT J. PETERSON SPEAKING! 1966 01:55:21,200 --> 01:55:24,200 WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO THE HOUSE? 1967 01:55:24,233 --> 01:55:26,899 I'LL GO TO THE COURTHOUSE AND TALK TO THE MAYOR. 1968 01:55:26,933 --> 01:55:29,766 I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND. THIS IS THE NEW ALBERT. 1969 01:55:29,799 --> 01:55:31,833 I JUST TOLD MOMMA TO GO HOME! 1970 01:55:31,866 --> 01:55:34,699 - ALBERT, YOU DIDN'T! - OH YES, I DID. 1971 01:55:36,667 --> 01:55:40,567 ♪ I TOOK A GIANT STEP 1972 01:55:40,600 --> 01:55:42,899 ♪ I'M MIGHTY PROUD OF ME 1973 01:55:42,933 --> 01:55:47,233 ♪ TODAY I AM THE MAN I HAD TO BE ♪ 1974 01:55:47,266 --> 01:55:51,600 ♪ THOSE APRON STRINGS AT LAST ARE CUT ♪ 1975 01:55:51,633 --> 01:55:53,699 ♪ IT'S LIKE I GREW SOME WINGS ♪ 1976 01:55:53,732 --> 01:55:56,400 ♪ AND FLEW OUT OF MY OEDIPAL RUT ♪ 1977 01:55:56,433 --> 01:55:58,633 ♪ I LEAPED A GIANT LEAP 1978 01:55:58,667 --> 01:56:00,866 ♪ I MADE THE WINNING PLAY ♪ 1979 01:56:00,899 --> 01:56:02,933 ♪ IT AIN'T JULY, BUT HEY ♪ 1980 01:56:02,966 --> 01:56:05,233 ♪ IT'S INDEPENDENCE DAY 1981 01:56:05,266 --> 01:56:09,333 ♪ NO MORE "SONNY BOY," IT'S MR. ALBERT P. ♪ 1982 01:56:09,366 --> 01:56:11,567 ♪ I TOOK A GIANT STEP 1983 01:56:11,600 --> 01:56:13,766 ♪ A SELF-RELIANT STEP 1984 01:56:13,799 --> 01:56:16,933 ♪ A BRAVE, DEFIANT STEP 1985 01:56:16,966 --> 01:56:20,766 ♪ AND I'M FREE! 1986 01:56:26,266 --> 01:56:28,366 ♪ I CLIMBED A GIANT PEAK ♪ 1987 01:56:28,400 --> 01:56:30,200 ♪ A DARING THING TO DO 1988 01:56:30,233 --> 01:56:34,633 ♪ I'M WAY UP HIGH, OH, ROSIE, WHAT A VIEW ♪ 1989 01:56:34,667 --> 01:56:37,866 ♪ I SEE THE FUTURE AND IT'S BRIGHT ♪ 1990 01:56:37,899 --> 01:56:41,300 ♪ IT'S NO MORE, "MOMMA, ANYTHING YOU SAY" ♪ 1991 01:56:41,333 --> 01:56:42,899 ♪ FROM MORNING TO NIGHT 1992 01:56:42,933 --> 01:56:44,799 ♪ I TOOK A GIANT STEP 1993 01:56:44,833 --> 01:56:46,899 ♪ A WIMPY KID NO MORE 1994 01:56:46,933 --> 01:56:51,633 ♪ YOU NEVER SAW A TURNAROUND LIKE THIS BEFORE ♪ 1995 01:56:51,667 --> 01:56:55,300 ♪ IT'S JUST ONE SMALL STEP FOR MANKIND ♪ 1996 01:56:55,333 --> 01:56:58,233 ♪ BUT FOR ME 1997 01:56:58,266 --> 01:57:03,166 ♪ IT WAS A FORCEFUL STEP ♪ 1998 01:57:03,200 --> 01:57:05,233 ♪ A MOST RESOURCEFUL STEP ♪ 1999 01:57:05,266 --> 01:57:07,567 ♪ A BOLD AND BRASSY STEP 2000 01:57:07,600 --> 01:57:09,433 ♪ A SASSY, CLASSY STEP 2001 01:57:09,467 --> 01:57:11,333 ♪ A SELF-RELIANT STEP 2002 01:57:11,366 --> 01:57:13,467 ♪ A BRAVE, DEFIANT STEP 2003 01:57:13,500 --> 01:57:16,699 ♪ I TOOK A GIANT STEP 2004 01:57:16,732 --> 01:57:24,166 ♪ AND I'M FREE! 2005 01:57:24,200 --> 01:57:26,233 FREE! 2006 01:57:26,266 --> 01:57:27,467 OH! 2007 01:57:28,467 --> 01:57:30,400 ALBERT, OH, THAT'S TERRIFIC. 2008 01:57:30,433 --> 01:57:32,300 I'M GOING TO GO TO THE COURTHOUSE-- 2009 01:57:32,333 --> 01:57:35,433 NO, ROSE. THE NEW ALBERT IS GONNA GO TO THE COURTHOUSE 2010 01:57:35,467 --> 01:57:37,467 AND DEAL WITH THE MAYOR. I'D APPRECIATE IT 2011 01:57:37,500 --> 01:57:39,433 IF YOU'D MEET ME AT THE TRAIN STATION 2012 01:57:39,467 --> 01:57:41,366 AT 6:30 TOMORROW MORNING. 2013 01:57:41,400 --> 01:57:43,400 I INTEND TO BE THERE WITH CONRAD. 2014 01:57:48,200 --> 01:57:49,799 BY THE WAY, ROSE, 2015 01:57:49,833 --> 01:57:53,200 HAVE I EVER MENTIONED THAT I LOVE YOU? 2016 01:57:55,567 --> 01:57:57,633 NO, YOU HAVEN'T. 2017 01:58:01,233 --> 01:58:03,133 WELL, I DO. 2018 01:58:17,899 --> 01:58:21,333 ♪ ABOUT THAT DREAM OF HIM AND ME ♪ 2019 01:58:21,366 --> 01:58:23,866 ♪ IN SOME LITTLE TOWN 2020 01:58:23,899 --> 01:58:26,899 ♪ I SEE THE SIGNS 2021 01:58:26,933 --> 01:58:31,200 ♪ HE'S COMIN' 'ROUND 2022 01:58:31,233 --> 01:58:36,567 ♪ TO A SONG WE CAN SING CALLED "HAPPILY EVER AFTER" ♪ 2023 01:58:36,600 --> 01:58:38,732 ♪ QUIET TALKS BY THE FIRE ♪ 2024 01:58:38,766 --> 01:58:42,166 ♪ AND A LIFETIME OF LAUGHTER ♪ 2025 01:58:42,200 --> 01:58:44,799 ♪ OH, CAN IT BE HE'S READY ♪ 2026 01:58:44,833 --> 01:58:49,467 ♪ TO SETTLE DOWN? 2027 01:58:49,500 --> 01:58:53,200 ♪ JUST TAKE THAT ONE LAST GIANT STEP ♪ 2028 01:58:53,233 --> 01:58:55,933 ♪ AND YOU'LL SEE WE'VE FOUND ♪ 2029 01:58:55,966 --> 01:58:58,766 ♪ A DREAM TO SHARE 2030 01:58:58,799 --> 01:59:02,933 ♪ WE'RE ALMOST THERE 2031 01:59:02,966 --> 01:59:08,200 ♪ WE'LL SETTLE DOWN. 2032 01:59:12,866 --> 01:59:14,467 ( water splashes ) 2033 01:59:19,766 --> 01:59:21,233 HIYA, ROSIE. 2034 01:59:23,233 --> 01:59:25,200 HAVE YOU GOT A MINUTE TO SPARE 2035 01:59:25,233 --> 01:59:26,933 FOR A HEART-TO-HEART WITH AN OLD FRIEND? 2036 01:59:26,966 --> 01:59:29,933 OF COURSE I HAVE A MINUTE TO SPARE 2037 01:59:29,966 --> 01:59:32,633 FOR THE MOTHER OF THE MAN WHO LOVES ME. 2038 01:59:40,699 --> 01:59:43,433 MISS ALVAREZ, I'LL MAKE A DEAL WITH YOU. 2039 01:59:43,467 --> 01:59:46,699 I'LL GIVE YOU THE COAT OFF MY BACK IF YOU'LL GIVE HIM UP. 2040 01:59:46,732 --> 01:59:48,933 NOT A CHANCE... MOTHER. 2041 01:59:48,966 --> 01:59:52,233 THE CRUELEST WORD I EVER HEARD. 2042 01:59:52,266 --> 01:59:54,366 TO THINK I'D LIVE TO SEE THE DAY 2043 01:59:54,400 --> 01:59:56,366 THAT I'D HAVE RELATIVES IN EL SALVADOR! 2044 01:59:56,400 --> 01:59:58,833 ADIOS, MOMMA. 2045 01:59:58,866 --> 02:00:01,899 ADIOS, ROSE. 2046 02:00:05,233 --> 02:00:07,600 OH, CALL ME MRS. PETERSON. 2047 02:00:43,200 --> 02:00:45,166 COME ON OUT. THE COAST IS CLEAR. 2048 02:00:56,333 --> 02:00:58,667 MAN, YOU REALLY SAVED MY NECK. 2049 02:00:58,699 --> 02:00:59,866 I'LL NEVER FORGET THAT. 2050 02:00:59,899 --> 02:01:02,233 YEAH, BUT I STILL OWE YOU THAT GUARANTEE. 2051 02:01:02,266 --> 02:01:03,866 ALBERT, YOU DON'T OWE ME ANYTHING. 2052 02:01:03,899 --> 02:01:05,899 YOU GOT A CONTRACT WITH ME FOR LIFE. 2053 02:01:05,933 --> 02:01:08,133 LOOK. 2054 02:01:10,366 --> 02:01:12,200 THIS IS A BLANK PIECE OF PAPER. 2055 02:01:12,233 --> 02:01:13,933 I JUST SIGNED MY NAME TO IT. 2056 02:01:13,966 --> 02:01:16,633 YOU JUST PUT ON THAT WHATEVER YOU WANT. 2057 02:01:25,600 --> 02:01:27,866 THAT'S THE NICEST THING. 2058 02:01:30,266 --> 02:01:34,200 - IT'S OKAY. - Momma: HELLO, ALBERT. 2059 02:01:34,233 --> 02:01:36,233 ROSE, YOU LOOK GOOD FOR A CHANGE. 2060 02:01:37,500 --> 02:01:39,433 I KNOW ALL ABOUT THE TWO OF YOU. 2061 02:01:39,467 --> 02:01:41,600 DON'T WORRY. I WON'T MAKE A FUSS. 2062 02:01:41,633 --> 02:01:44,266 I'LL DO WHAT ANY INTELLIGENT MOTHER HAS TO DO. 2063 02:01:45,266 --> 02:01:47,200 GOODBYE, DEAR. 2064 02:01:51,266 --> 02:01:53,200 DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE COAT. 2065 02:01:53,233 --> 02:01:54,667 YOU'LL HAVE THREE MINK STOLES 2066 02:01:54,699 --> 02:01:56,766 AS SOON AS THE TRAIN PASSES OVER ME. 2067 02:01:58,633 --> 02:02:00,667 ( train whistle blowing ) 2068 02:02:13,200 --> 02:02:15,400 THE TRAIN'S COMING. 2069 02:02:15,433 --> 02:02:17,200 RIGHT ON SCHEDULE. 2070 02:03:04,966 --> 02:03:06,166 THERE YOU GO. 2071 02:03:07,467 --> 02:03:10,200 MOMMA, I HAVE NO TIME FOR ANY OF YOUR NONSENSE. 2072 02:03:10,233 --> 02:03:12,233 I WANT YOU TO GET ON THIS TRAIN. 2073 02:03:12,266 --> 02:03:15,200 - THE TRAIN RAN OVER MY HAT. - I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR HAT. 2074 02:03:15,233 --> 02:03:18,300 - A MOTHER DOESN'T NEED A HAT. - THE TRAIN'S MOVING. LET'S GO! 2075 02:03:18,333 --> 02:03:20,866 - GOODBYE, CONRAD. - ALBERT, WAIT! 2076 02:03:20,899 --> 02:03:22,567 - ALBERT! - BYE, MOMMA. 2077 02:03:22,600 --> 02:03:25,567 ALBERT, FOR GOD'S SAKES, DON'T LEAVE ME! 2078 02:03:25,600 --> 02:03:27,732 - BYE, CONRAD. - ALBERT! 2079 02:03:27,766 --> 02:03:29,200 BYE, MOMMA! 2080 02:03:40,766 --> 02:03:43,133 ( train whistle blowing ) 2081 02:04:01,266 --> 02:04:02,467 ALBERT, WHERE'S THE TRAIN? 2082 02:04:02,500 --> 02:04:04,333 IT LEFT AT 6:25, ROSE... 2083 02:04:04,366 --> 02:04:06,866 - YOU TOLD ME TO BE HERE AT... - WITH CONRAD... 2084 02:04:06,899 --> 02:04:09,200 AT 6:30 SHARP. I KNOW-- 2085 02:04:09,233 --> 02:04:10,766 AND MOMMA. 2086 02:04:11,933 --> 02:04:14,200 ALBERT, YOU WANTED US TO MISS THAT TRAIN? 2087 02:04:15,700 --> 02:04:17,467 WELL, IT STANDS TO REASON, ROSE. 2088 02:04:17,500 --> 02:04:20,300 WHY WOULD WE GET ON A TRAIN TO NEW YORK CITY 2089 02:04:20,333 --> 02:04:24,200 WHEN WE HAVE TICKETS TO PUMPKIN FALLS, IOWA? 2090 02:04:24,233 --> 02:04:26,633 PUMPKIN FALLS, IOWA? WHAT'S IN IOWA? 2091 02:04:26,667 --> 02:04:29,467 A TEACHING POSITION AT THE PUMPKIN FALLS JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL. 2092 02:04:29,500 --> 02:04:31,333 I READ ABOUT IT IN THE NEWSPAPER. 2093 02:04:31,366 --> 02:04:32,700 THEY WANT SOMEONE TO TEACH 2094 02:04:32,732 --> 02:04:34,933 DOMESTIC SCIENCE AND ENGLISH, 2095 02:04:34,966 --> 02:04:37,467 BUT THEY WOULD PREFER IF THE APPLICANT WAS MARRIED, 2096 02:04:37,500 --> 02:04:40,333 SO I REALLY HOPE YOU'RE FINALLY READY TO SETTLE DOWN, ROSE. 2097 02:04:40,366 --> 02:04:43,133 OH, ALBERT, AM I EVER! 2098 02:04:46,400 --> 02:04:48,899 OH, ROSIE, DID I EVER TELL YOU 2099 02:04:48,933 --> 02:04:50,333 THAT'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL NAME 2100 02:04:50,366 --> 02:04:52,333 IN THE WHOLE WORLD? 2101 02:04:52,366 --> 02:04:57,366 ♪ I WAS NEVER CRAZY FOR FLOWERS ♪ 2102 02:04:57,400 --> 02:05:02,133 ♪ I CONFESS THAT NOTHING LEFT ME COLDER ♪ 2103 02:05:03,200 --> 02:05:07,667 ♪ I COULD WATCH A DAISY FOR HOURS ♪ 2104 02:05:07,700 --> 02:05:13,799 ♪ AND ALL I'D FEEL WAS SEVERAL HOURS OLDER ♪ 2105 02:05:13,833 --> 02:05:19,200 ♪ LILACS OR LILIES, ANY BLOOM YOU PLEASE ♪ 2106 02:05:19,233 --> 02:05:20,700 ♪ ALL THAT THEY DID 2107 02:05:20,732 --> 02:05:24,266 ♪ WAS MAKE ME SHRUG OR SNEEZE ♪ 2108 02:05:24,300 --> 02:05:29,433 ♪ BUT NOW I LOVE EACH BLOSSOM THAT I SEE ♪ 2109 02:05:29,467 --> 02:05:35,467 ♪ FOR A LOVELY LITTLE ROSE LOVES ME ♪ 2110 02:05:35,500 --> 02:05:39,200 ♪ NOW MY LIFE IS ROSY 2111 02:05:39,233 --> 02:05:43,200 ♪ SINCE I FOUND MY ROSIE ♪ 2112 02:05:43,233 --> 02:05:47,766 ♪ WITH A GIRL LIKE ROSIE ♪ 2113 02:05:47,799 --> 02:05:52,166 ♪ HOW COULD I BE BLUE? 2114 02:05:52,200 --> 02:05:56,400 ♪ HAND IN HAND WE'LL MOSEY ♪ 2115 02:05:56,433 --> 02:06:00,567 ♪ ME AND LITTLE ROSIE 2116 02:06:00,600 --> 02:06:03,233 ♪ WE WILL BE SO COZY 2117 02:06:03,266 --> 02:06:09,233 ♪ BY A FIRE BUILT FOR TWO ♪ 2118 02:06:09,266 --> 02:06:13,899 ♪ OH, I ONCE HEARD A POEM THAT GOES ♪ 2119 02:06:13,933 --> 02:06:15,366 ♪ "A ROSE 2120 02:06:15,400 --> 02:06:16,500 ♪ IS A ROSE 2121 02:06:16,533 --> 02:06:17,899 ♪ IS A ROSE" 2122 02:06:17,933 --> 02:06:20,833 ♪ BUT I DON'T AGREE 2123 02:06:20,866 --> 02:06:22,933 ♪ TAKE IT FROM ME 2124 02:06:22,966 --> 02:06:24,799 ♪ THERE'S ONE ROSE SWEETER ♪ 2125 02:06:24,833 --> 02:06:26,667 ♪ THAN ANY THAT GROWS 2126 02:06:26,700 --> 02:06:30,266 ♪ AND THAT'S MY ROSIE 2127 02:06:30,300 --> 02:06:35,166 ♪ I'M SO GLAD YOU CHOSE ME ♪ 2128 02:06:35,200 --> 02:06:41,300 ♪ LIFE IS ONE SWEET, BEAUTIFUL SONG TO ME ♪ 2129 02:06:42,966 --> 02:06:45,400 ♪ NOW MY LIFE IS ROSY ♪ 2130 02:06:45,433 --> 02:06:47,533 ♪ OH, WE'LL BE HAPPY, I KNOW ♪ 2131 02:06:47,567 --> 02:06:49,633 ♪ SINCE I FOUND MY ROSIE ♪ 2132 02:06:49,667 --> 02:06:51,899 ♪ OFF TO THE PREACHER WE'LL GO ♪ 2133 02:06:51,933 --> 02:06:53,700 ♪ WITH A GIRL LIKE ROSIE ♪ 2134 02:06:53,732 --> 02:06:55,866 ♪ SO HOW COULD WE 2135 02:06:55,899 --> 02:07:00,433 - ♪ HOW COULD I - Both: ♪ BE BLUE? 2136 02:07:00,467 --> 02:07:04,933 ♪ OH, WE'LL HAVE US A HOME OUT WEST ♪ 2137 02:07:04,966 --> 02:07:09,799 ♪ A NICE LITTLE SPLIT-LEVEL NEST ♪ 2138 02:07:09,833 --> 02:07:13,700 ♪ AND IN EVERY ROOM, ROSES IN BLOOM ♪ 2139 02:07:13,732 --> 02:07:15,833 ♪ BUT THERE'S ONE ROSE SWEETER ♪ 2140 02:07:15,866 --> 02:07:17,700 ♪ THAN ALL OF THE REST 2141 02:07:17,732 --> 02:07:21,166 ♪ AND THAT'S MY ROSIE 2142 02:07:21,200 --> 02:07:25,400 Both: ♪ I'M SO GLAD YOU CHOSE ME ♪ 2143 02:07:25,433 --> 02:07:30,600 ♪ LIFE IS ONE SWEET, BEAUTIFUL SONG ♪ 2144 02:07:30,633 --> 02:07:34,732 ♪ WHEN LOVE IS RIGHT, THEN WHAT CAN BE WRONG? ♪ 2145 02:07:34,766 --> 02:07:42,133 ♪ LIFE IS ONE SWEET, BEAUTIFUL SONG TO ME. ♪ 2146 02:08:41,933 --> 02:08:44,467 ( instrumental music playing ) 155403

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