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1
00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:16,258
It's okay, I guess.
2
00:01:16,293 --> 00:01:17,926
Why am I being modest?
3
00:01:17,961 --> 00:01:19,277
I'm alone.
4
00:01:19,312 --> 00:01:21,196
It's perfect.
5
00:01:24,201 --> 00:01:25,733
Metropolitan Museum.
6
00:01:25,769 --> 00:01:27,235
I bet you're wondering
7
00:01:27,271 --> 00:01:29,871
how you got a cab
so fast in this rain.
8
00:01:29,906 --> 00:01:31,984
Well, it's because I've
been sitting here admiring
9
00:01:32,008 --> 00:01:33,341
this window display.
10
00:01:33,377 --> 00:01:36,088
You see, I work here
part-time at this art gallery.
11
00:01:36,112 --> 00:01:36,878
Uh, excuse me,
if you don't mind,
12
00:01:36,913 --> 00:01:37,812
I really don't feel
much like talking.
13
00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:39,981
Just take me to the
Metropolitan, okay?
14
00:01:40,016 --> 00:01:41,794
Oh, I wasn't
talking, I was just...
15
00:01:41,818 --> 00:01:43,117
Hey!
16
00:01:43,153 --> 00:01:45,265
I don't know how to make
it any clearer than that.
17
00:01:45,289 --> 00:01:46,816
Please take me
to the Metropolitan.
18
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:50,375
Okay. You charmed me into it.
19
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:55,079
Where you going?
20
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,293
You said the
Metropolitan Museum.
21
00:01:57,317 --> 00:01:59,884
I meant the one in New York.
Why didn't you stay on Madison?
22
00:01:59,919 --> 00:02:02,487
It's shorter this way. You
said you were in a hurry.
23
00:02:02,522 --> 00:02:06,324
You are taking a longer
route than you need to.
24
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:07,670
It's not any longer.
You know, wait a minute.
25
00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:10,629
Are you accusing me
of jacking up the fare?
26
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:12,029
No. I'm accusing you of trying.
27
00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:13,498
Unfortunately, I caught you.
28
00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:15,545
Hey, look, Mister. I swear
I'm not trying to cheat you.
29
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,780
Now if you want, I can take
you back where I picked you up,
30
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,816
and we can start over
and I'll take a different route.
31
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,974
Thanks, but I've seen Jersey.
32
00:02:25,012 --> 00:02:27,145
Okay, out of the cab.
33
00:02:27,180 --> 00:02:29,081
It's pouring rain out there.
34
00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:32,801
The law says you have to
take me wherever I want to go.
35
00:02:32,836 --> 00:02:35,937
There's no way you can
make me leave this cab.
36
00:02:35,972 --> 00:02:40,908
Rape... rape... rape!
37
00:02:40,944 --> 00:02:43,579
You may have a little trouble
getting that story to stick
38
00:02:43,614 --> 00:02:44,763
when the police find out
39
00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:47,415
I'm the National Secretary
for the Gay Liberation Force.
40
00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:55,189
We'll be there in a few minutes.
41
00:03:05,969 --> 00:03:07,836
Next time be a
little more careful
42
00:03:07,871 --> 00:03:09,203
who you try and rip off.
43
00:03:09,239 --> 00:03:12,006
Look, Mister, I realize
we've had our differences
44
00:03:12,042 --> 00:03:13,742
but you owe me $2.85.
45
00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:17,446
Here's a dollar. I'm not
paying for the scenic route.
46
00:03:17,481 --> 00:03:19,414
Hey, wait a minute, Mister!
47
00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:21,950
Mister, you forgot
your briefcase.
48
00:03:21,985 --> 00:03:24,519
Oh.
49
00:03:24,555 --> 00:03:26,822
Hey, come back here!
50
00:03:29,326 --> 00:03:31,693
He's faster than he looks.
51
00:03:37,734 --> 00:03:39,334
Come on, come on.
52
00:03:39,369 --> 00:03:40,936
Jacks or better.
53
00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:43,538
All right, give me
something good.
54
00:03:43,574 --> 00:03:46,107
Not if I can help it.
55
00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:48,242
Oh, sweet heaven.
56
00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:51,763
Did I tip my hand again?
57
00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:53,849
Only to the trained eye.
58
00:03:53,884 --> 00:03:55,895
Why do I do that all the time?
59
00:03:55,919 --> 00:03:57,051
Hi, guys.
60
00:03:57,087 --> 00:03:59,070
Hey, Elaine. What do you say?
61
00:03:59,105 --> 00:04:00,072
I'm not sure.
62
00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:02,240
I just had a really
bad fare today.
63
00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:05,076
Hey, Bobby, she thinks
she had a bad fare.
64
00:04:05,111 --> 00:04:06,444
What happened?
65
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:10,014
I had the QANTAS koala
bear get carsick in my cab.
66
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:13,835
And you don't want to
know what a koala bear does
67
00:04:13,870 --> 00:04:16,204
when he gets carsick.
68
00:04:16,239 --> 00:04:18,434
Hey, Alex, could I talk
to you for a moment?
69
00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:19,624
Huh? Yeah, sure.
70
00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:20,625
Deal me out.
71
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:22,360
I'll sit in for you.
72
00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:23,695
What's wrong?
73
00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:25,363
I feel really strange.
74
00:04:25,398 --> 00:04:26,698
Why? What is it?
75
00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:29,500
Well, you know that art
gallery where I work part-time?
76
00:04:29,536 --> 00:04:33,071
And where they treat me like I
was some sort of receptionist?
77
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:36,457
Yeah. You mean the place
where you work as a receptionist.
78
00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:38,543
Yeah. Well, they let me design
79
00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:41,646
their new window
display for their new exhibit
80
00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:43,815
and everybody loved what I did.
81
00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:46,851
Now, it's just staring
out on Madison Avenue.
82
00:04:46,886 --> 00:04:49,137
People are even
congratulating me.
83
00:04:49,172 --> 00:04:50,489
No wonder you're down.
84
00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:52,623
You realized your
lifelong ambition.
85
00:04:52,659 --> 00:04:56,628
I know, but it just doesn't
seem like my life, you know.
86
00:04:56,663 --> 00:04:59,231
Things like this
never happen to me.
87
00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:02,267
That's why I got a
little crazy and I pushed.
88
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:05,653
I invited them all to a
party, and they accepted.
89
00:05:05,688 --> 00:05:07,484
Oh, hey, sounds
like you're on a roll.
90
00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:09,308
Let me know how it turns out.
91
00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:12,210
I was kind of hoping
that maybe you'd come.
92
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:14,357
See, I'd really like to
have one person there
93
00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:16,301
that I don't care
about impressing.
94
00:05:17,467 --> 00:05:20,968
How can I turn down
an invitation like that?
95
00:05:21,004 --> 00:05:24,122
Yeah, and one more thing...
When you're at the party
96
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:28,092
can you remember that nobody
knows that I'm a cab driver?
97
00:05:28,127 --> 00:05:30,056
See, if they knew I
drove a cab at night
98
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,024
they'd find it a little unusual.
99
00:05:32,048 --> 00:05:34,749
I can't afford to
be unusual yet.
100
00:05:34,784 --> 00:05:37,185
So you actually
lie about your job?
101
00:05:37,220 --> 00:05:40,154
I don't lie. I fudge.
102
00:05:40,190 --> 00:05:42,602
I'm kind of hoping that
maybe you won't tell them
103
00:05:42,626 --> 00:05:44,203
that you're a
cab driver, either.
104
00:05:44,227 --> 00:05:45,794
Oh, no. I won't do that, Elaine.
105
00:05:45,829 --> 00:05:46,795
Oh, come on...
106
00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:47,796
Nope!
107
00:05:47,831 --> 00:05:49,146
It's one little thing.
108
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:51,166
No, it's not just
one little thing.
109
00:05:51,201 --> 00:05:53,969
Hey, sure it is. Ask anybody.
110
00:05:54,004 --> 00:05:55,215
Hey, guys, can you believe him?
111
00:05:55,239 --> 00:05:56,649
He won't tell one
little lie for me.
112
00:05:56,673 --> 00:05:59,724
The only guy I know that
never told a lie was my dad.
113
00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:01,008
Come on. Never?
114
00:06:01,044 --> 00:06:02,627
Nope. He once told me
115
00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:05,429
"John, remember
your father's words.
116
00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:09,567
"The liar's punishment is
not that he is not believed
117
00:06:09,602 --> 00:06:12,703
but that he cannot
believe anyone else."
118
00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:16,874
John, George
Bernard Shaw said that.
119
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:18,460
He did?
120
00:06:18,495 --> 00:06:20,511
Your father was
George Bernard Shaw?
121
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:21,846
Alex, Can we talk
122
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:22,997
about this?
123
00:06:23,032 --> 00:06:25,144
What do you want
him to lie about?
124
00:06:25,168 --> 00:06:26,345
Maybe I can do it for you.
125
00:06:26,369 --> 00:06:28,097
I'm throwing a
party Friday night.
126
00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:30,871
Hey, it's a little short
notice, but I can make it.
127
00:06:30,907 --> 00:06:32,568
Why are you having a
party on Friday night?
128
00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:34,237
We're all going to
miss a lot of business.
129
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:35,805
Well, actually guys, this
is a party I'm throwing
130
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:38,208
for the people
at my art gallery.
131
00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:39,864
Who cares, the more,
the merrier. Right?
132
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,666
They don't understand.
133
00:06:41,701 --> 00:06:43,017
Oh, I get it.
134
00:06:43,052 --> 00:06:45,253
We're not invited.
135
00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:48,706
How come we can't
go to the party too?
136
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,186
'Cause we're nobodies.
137
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:53,611
We're stupid, ignorant,
low-life cabbies.
138
00:06:53,646 --> 00:06:55,680
Oh.
139
00:06:55,715 --> 00:06:57,666
What do you think, Latka?
140
00:07:01,404 --> 00:07:04,189
Latka, in English.
141
00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:08,843
If they don't
come, I don't come.
142
00:07:08,879 --> 00:07:11,024
I'm sorry. They can't come.
143
00:07:11,048 --> 00:07:14,248
All right, then I
come without them.
144
00:07:14,283 --> 00:07:16,067
All right! All right!
145
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,247
You can come.
146
00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:19,398
If it means that much to you.
147
00:07:19,422 --> 00:07:21,301
If it doesn't matter to
you that you screw me up
148
00:07:21,325 --> 00:07:23,058
with my bosses or ruin
the one chance I have
149
00:07:23,093 --> 00:07:25,227
to send my kids
to a decent school
150
00:07:25,262 --> 00:07:27,695
then, by all means,
just come to my party.
151
00:07:27,731 --> 00:07:29,631
What's the address?
152
00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:31,427
Hey, you come with me.
153
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,933
I know where it is.
154
00:07:32,969 --> 00:07:34,753
Thank you very much.
155
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,371
Let's go get something to eat,
156
00:07:36,406 --> 00:07:38,273
and I'll tell you
about my outfit.
157
00:07:38,308 --> 00:07:40,909
Hey, Elaine, hey,
don't worry about us.
158
00:07:40,944 --> 00:07:43,845
Nobody's gonna know
we're taxicab drivers.
159
00:07:43,881 --> 00:07:45,446
Come on. We'll
cover it up. All right?
160
00:07:45,482 --> 00:07:46,447
Okay.
161
00:07:46,483 --> 00:07:47,815
All right.
162
00:07:47,851 --> 00:07:49,617
See you later, Alex.
163
00:07:49,652 --> 00:07:51,152
Ahem!
164
00:07:51,188 --> 00:07:52,404
You're in luck.
165
00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:54,989
Looks like you got a chance
to nab Louie for your guest list.
166
00:07:55,024 --> 00:07:57,342
Yeah, I might give
your party a tumble.
167
00:07:57,377 --> 00:07:59,160
Perhaps some of
those art-world cuties
168
00:07:59,195 --> 00:08:03,765
might want me to pose
for them au naturel.
169
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:05,950
Louie, you're not invited.
170
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,018
What do you mean?
171
00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:08,553
I mean if you're even seen
172
00:08:08,588 --> 00:08:11,122
in the vicinity of my
apartment Friday night
173
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,774
I'll have you arrested.
174
00:08:12,809 --> 00:08:14,642
Oh, really not invited.
175
00:08:14,677 --> 00:08:17,095
Okay. Who needs you?
176
00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:20,799
Come on let's get this
garage back to normal!
177
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:24,252
Hey, Latka! You finish
cleaning that cab yet?
178
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:28,289
Phew!
179
00:08:28,324 --> 00:08:32,627
Who drive a sick koala bear?
180
00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:41,604
Alex?
181
00:08:41,638 --> 00:08:42,671
Yeah.
182
00:08:43,874 --> 00:08:45,139
Hi.
183
00:08:45,175 --> 00:08:46,140
Hi.
184
00:08:46,176 --> 00:08:48,142
Did I get the wrong night?
185
00:08:48,178 --> 00:08:49,644
No, this is the night.
186
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:51,624
Well, don't bother
to introduce me.
187
00:08:51,648 --> 00:08:53,114
I'll just mingle.
188
00:08:53,149 --> 00:08:54,448
How are you?
189
00:08:54,484 --> 00:08:55,695
I played a little trick
on you, Alex. Oh?
190
00:08:55,719 --> 00:08:58,453
I told you the wrong time
so that you'd get here early.
191
00:08:58,488 --> 00:08:59,854
Great trick. Why?
192
00:08:59,890 --> 00:09:01,556
Well, see, you're
doing me a favor.
193
00:09:01,591 --> 00:09:04,141
Now that you're here,
no one has to go through
194
00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:06,189
the embarrassment
of arriving first.
195
00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:09,973
You know how
uncomfortable that can be.
196
00:09:11,585 --> 00:09:13,318
I can only imagine.
197
00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:16,387
Besides, I'm a little
insecure about this party
198
00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:17,755
and I wanted someone
199
00:09:17,790 --> 00:09:20,141
to tell me how nice
the place looks.
200
00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:24,724
Well, you can start anytime.
201
00:09:24,748 --> 00:09:25,814
Oh, yes.
202
00:09:25,849 --> 00:09:26,992
It looks great.
203
00:09:27,016 --> 00:09:28,316
No, it really does.
204
00:09:28,351 --> 00:09:29,317
I like that.
205
00:09:29,352 --> 00:09:30,785
Oh, and I like that.
206
00:09:30,821 --> 00:09:32,654
And I really like this.
207
00:09:32,689 --> 00:09:34,055
Thanks.
208
00:09:34,090 --> 00:09:35,210
You know, this was hard.
209
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,640
I had to borrow some furniture
210
00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:38,220
and move the
kids' beds upstairs.
211
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:41,145
I'm really knocking
myself out for this party.
212
00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:42,914
But I think I'm going to be okay
213
00:09:42,949 --> 00:09:44,949
as long as my
cheese puffs are a hit.
214
00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:46,985
Oh...
215
00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:50,066
Delicious.
216
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:52,290
Take it from a puff man.
217
00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:58,296
So, is there anything
I've overlooked?
218
00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:01,699
Oh, uh... persons.
219
00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:03,785
They're coming. Anything else?
220
00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:06,203
Something for persons to drink.
221
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:07,800
That's a little
bit of a problem.
222
00:10:07,824 --> 00:10:09,802
You see, I used a
discount liquor store.
223
00:10:09,826 --> 00:10:12,360
I don't want anyone
to see the labels.
224
00:10:12,395 --> 00:10:14,206
They're kind of off-brands.
225
00:10:14,230 --> 00:10:15,129
Like what?
226
00:10:15,164 --> 00:10:18,115
Ever heard of Betty's vodka?
227
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,054
Gentlemen never tell.
228
00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:24,906
Can I make a suggestion?
229
00:10:24,941 --> 00:10:27,275
Why don't you put the
stuff in a punch bowl
230
00:10:27,310 --> 00:10:28,955
and add ginger ale and juices.
231
00:10:28,979 --> 00:10:30,111
Oh, that's a great idea.
232
00:10:30,147 --> 00:10:31,012
There you go.
233
00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:34,783
You know, I never even
thought about mixing.
234
00:10:34,818 --> 00:10:37,719
Oh... I just hope I got
enough champagne.
235
00:10:37,754 --> 00:10:39,721
How much did you get?
236
00:10:39,756 --> 00:10:41,489
12 Cans.
237
00:10:41,524 --> 00:10:44,159
Canned champagne?
238
00:10:44,194 --> 00:10:46,027
I guess for those macho gourmets
239
00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:49,064
who like to crush
something after a sip.
240
00:10:50,433 --> 00:10:52,400
Oh, Alex, this is it!
241
00:10:52,435 --> 00:10:54,969
Now, now, just relax. Relax.
242
00:10:55,005 --> 00:10:57,021
They're just people.
243
00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:09,033
There's always the
exception to the rule.
244
00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:10,685
Party time for Latka?
245
00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:12,854
Not until you take
off those overalls.
246
00:11:12,889 --> 00:11:15,106
Oh, this is good party.
247
00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:16,808
No! No! Latka!
248
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:20,295
You've got to change
into nicer clothes.
249
00:11:20,330 --> 00:11:22,630
Oh...
250
00:11:25,001 --> 00:11:26,001
in truck...
251
00:11:30,406 --> 00:11:32,457
You think it's all right
252
00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:34,142
to have him here?
253
00:11:34,177 --> 00:11:36,728
Are you kidding? He's my
pick for the life of the party.
254
00:11:36,763 --> 00:11:40,698
Oh, Alex, are you sure
everything looks okay?
255
00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:42,644
Elaine, believe me. The
apartment looks wonderful.
256
00:11:42,668 --> 00:11:43,968
Now will you just relax.
257
00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:45,319
Okay. Okay.
258
00:11:45,354 --> 00:11:47,956
Hey, you know, you may
not believe this, but I've really
259
00:11:47,991 --> 00:11:49,735
calmed down a lot
since you got here.
260
00:11:49,759 --> 00:11:51,525
Yeah, I can see that.
261
00:11:51,561 --> 00:11:55,630
Oh, um, but could I just
ask you one more little favor?
262
00:11:55,665 --> 00:11:57,065
Yep.
263
00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:58,761
If you tell these people
that you're a cab driver
264
00:11:58,785 --> 00:12:02,203
they'll ask how you know me,
and you'll give everything away.
265
00:12:02,238 --> 00:12:06,424
Elaine, is that the real reason
you got me over here early? Huh?
266
00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:07,892
Oh, come on. How
could you do that?
267
00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:09,371
How could you
do a thing like that?
268
00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:11,078
Come on, Alex. This
is a cocktail party.
269
00:12:11,113 --> 00:12:12,797
Oh, for crying out loud.
270
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:14,099
Why do you have to come on
271
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:16,167
so super-ethical anyway?
272
00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:18,214
I am not ethical, Elaine.
273
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:19,415
I am... chicken.
274
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:20,850
I don't lie for the
simple reason
275
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:22,151
I am afraid of getting caught.
276
00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:23,619
There's nothing
more embarrassing
277
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:24,887
than getting caught in a lie.
278
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:26,444
Besides, if you don't lie
279
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:29,013
you don't have to try to
remember what you said.
280
00:12:29,049 --> 00:12:30,598
Okay. Okay.
281
00:12:30,634 --> 00:12:33,701
If it happens, it happens.
282
00:12:33,736 --> 00:12:35,236
All right. All right.
283
00:12:35,271 --> 00:12:37,071
I'm not going to lie
284
00:12:37,106 --> 00:12:40,607
but I won't say anything
if I'm not asked. Okay?
285
00:12:40,643 --> 00:12:42,176
Okay. Thanks.
286
00:12:42,212 --> 00:12:43,428
Mm-hmm.
287
00:12:53,239 --> 00:12:55,406
Party overalls.
288
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:56,590
Now you're talking.
289
00:12:56,626 --> 00:12:57,858
Neat.
290
00:12:57,894 --> 00:13:00,060
Latka learn
291
00:13:00,096 --> 00:13:02,196
party talk.
292
00:13:02,231 --> 00:13:03,697
Yeah.
293
00:13:03,733 --> 00:13:06,167
"What are you drinking?
294
00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:10,471
"Aren't there a lot
of phonies here?
295
00:13:10,506 --> 00:13:15,009
"Let's go to my place.
296
00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:18,112
Was it good for you?"
297
00:13:20,867 --> 00:13:22,433
You've been teaching him.
298
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:25,653
Not me. I was going
to ask for a copy myself.
299
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:49,739
Looks like your
party's a hit, Elaine.
300
00:13:49,763 --> 00:13:51,395
Yeah, so far, so good.
301
00:13:51,430 --> 00:13:53,609
I'm a little worried
about the guys.
302
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:55,611
They don't seem to be mingling.
303
00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:57,535
Yeah, only with each other.
304
00:13:57,570 --> 00:14:00,337
Hey, it's your turn, Tony.
How did your parents meet?
305
00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:01,438
It was in Italy...
306
00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:02,990
Come on, you guys.
307
00:14:03,026 --> 00:14:05,325
I want you to meet some people.
308
00:14:05,361 --> 00:14:07,139
That's okay, we already have.
309
00:14:07,163 --> 00:14:10,130
Yeah, I think we're
just going to shove off.
310
00:14:10,166 --> 00:14:11,331
Ah, why?
311
00:14:11,367 --> 00:14:12,733
Because, we don't fit in.
312
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:14,346
We're the kind of guys
who like to have fun.
313
00:14:14,370 --> 00:14:15,937
Thanks a lot, Elaine.
314
00:14:15,972 --> 00:14:17,137
Bye-bye.
315
00:14:17,173 --> 00:14:18,539
Take it easy, Alex.
316
00:14:18,575 --> 00:14:19,740
Great punch.
317
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:20,975
Bye.
318
00:14:25,181 --> 00:14:26,397
Stop envying them.
319
00:14:29,068 --> 00:14:30,718
Mrs. Hazeltine?
320
00:14:30,753 --> 00:14:32,370
Oh. Thank you, Elaine.
321
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:33,571
These are delicious.
322
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:35,022
Thank you.
323
00:14:35,058 --> 00:14:36,574
I love your paintings.
324
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:37,653
Really?
325
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:39,522
But I don't
recognize the artist.
326
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:42,230
As a matter of fact,
I live with the artist.
327
00:14:42,265 --> 00:14:43,314
You what?
328
00:14:43,349 --> 00:14:44,298
It's my daughter.
329
00:14:44,334 --> 00:14:45,299
Oh.
330
00:14:45,335 --> 00:14:46,512
Except the one
331
00:14:46,536 --> 00:14:47,902
of the bunny rabbit.
332
00:14:47,938 --> 00:14:50,116
That was done by my ex-husband.
333
00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:52,907
We've been talking
about the new exhibit
334
00:14:52,943 --> 00:14:54,909
at the Museum of Modern Art.
335
00:14:54,945 --> 00:14:56,360
Have you seen it?
336
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:57,811
Oh, yes, I have. Twice.
337
00:14:57,847 --> 00:14:59,680
Did you like the
Magritte drawings?
338
00:14:59,715 --> 00:15:00,748
Oh. Um...
339
00:15:00,784 --> 00:15:02,861
would you excuse
me for a moment?
340
00:15:02,885 --> 00:15:05,063
There's something
I've got to take care of.
341
00:15:05,087 --> 00:15:06,370
All right.
342
00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:10,541
Alex... one of the biggest
art dealers in New York
343
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:12,660
just asked my
opinion of an exhibit.
344
00:15:12,695 --> 00:15:13,806
Oh, terrific.
345
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:14,830
Give it.
346
00:15:14,864 --> 00:15:15,796
Oh.
347
00:15:15,831 --> 00:15:17,415
Thank you very much.
348
00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:18,816
Going to go now.
349
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:21,352
Well, I'm glad you
could come, Latka.
350
00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:22,553
Bye-bye.
351
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:23,754
Bye.
352
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:27,158
Eh, aren't there a
lot of phonies here?
353
00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:28,592
Let's go to my place.
354
00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:33,398
For you.
355
00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:38,069
Come on. Come on.
356
00:15:42,992 --> 00:15:46,310
It must be the way he says it.
357
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:49,392
Boy, this champagne
is terrific, huh?
358
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:50,998
I wonder what kind it is.
359
00:15:52,601 --> 00:15:55,202
Del Monte.
360
00:15:55,238 --> 00:15:57,205
My name is Paul.
361
00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:59,040
I write for Art News.
362
00:15:59,075 --> 00:16:01,175
Oh, I'm Alex.
363
00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:02,576
What do you do, Alex?
364
00:16:02,611 --> 00:16:05,446
Oh, this and that.
365
00:16:05,481 --> 00:16:06,847
Sounds interesting.
366
00:16:06,882 --> 00:16:08,982
This and that what?
367
00:16:09,018 --> 00:16:10,651
I, uh...
368
00:16:10,687 --> 00:16:12,803
sort of free-lance.
369
00:16:12,838 --> 00:16:15,306
Oh, you're a free-lance painter.
370
00:16:15,341 --> 00:16:16,507
No.
371
00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:17,708
Alex.
372
00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:21,011
Okay, Elaine, you win.
373
00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:23,213
I put out oil fires.
374
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:26,067
I beg your pardon?
375
00:16:26,102 --> 00:16:28,069
When an oil well catches on fire
376
00:16:28,104 --> 00:16:29,281
they call me in to put it out.
377
00:16:29,305 --> 00:16:30,482
Sounds dangerous.
378
00:16:30,506 --> 00:16:32,889
Yeah, well, I only
get the easy ones.
379
00:16:32,925 --> 00:16:35,759
You see, the main thing that
got me into this line of work...
380
00:16:35,794 --> 00:16:38,496
Oh, I'm sorry. Just reflex.
381
00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:40,631
You see, uh...
382
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:42,015
Actually, the thing
that pulled me
383
00:16:42,051 --> 00:16:44,851
into being an
oil-fire putter-outer
384
00:16:44,887 --> 00:16:46,871
is that it never gets boring.
385
00:16:46,906 --> 00:16:49,273
Nope. All holocausts
may look alike
386
00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:52,477
but each one has a
personality all its own.
387
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:55,913
If you'll excuse me, I'd like to
freshen my drink for a moment,
388
00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:57,131
I'll be right back.
389
00:16:59,402 --> 00:17:00,512
Thanks, Alex.
390
00:17:00,536 --> 00:17:02,648
I know that wasn't easy for you.
391
00:17:02,672 --> 00:17:04,388
Easier than I thought.
392
00:17:04,423 --> 00:17:06,791
It's just your luck for
this party I watched
393
00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:08,025
Search for Adventure.
394
00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:10,945
I've never been the life
of a party before like this.
395
00:17:10,980 --> 00:17:13,414
I sort of like fudging.
396
00:17:14,016 --> 00:17:15,516
Do you really fight fires?
397
00:17:15,552 --> 00:17:16,717
Oh, yes, yes.
398
00:17:16,752 --> 00:17:17,952
Yes, yes.
399
00:17:18,888 --> 00:17:22,557
What is the biggest
fire you ever put out?
400
00:17:22,592 --> 00:17:26,711
Well, actually, I had 12
wells go up at one time.
401
00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:29,013
I'm Rita.
402
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,581
I'm Alex.
403
00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:35,385
Aren't there a lot
of phonies here?
404
00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:42,593
I know.
405
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:45,529
Do you mind if I say
something candid?
406
00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:47,932
If it's about the champagne,
I had nothing to do with it.
407
00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:50,234
I find you very attractive.
408
00:17:50,269 --> 00:17:52,269
I appreciate your candor.
409
00:17:52,304 --> 00:17:55,172
I don't usually say
things like that to guys.
410
00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:56,673
I hope you don't mind.
411
00:17:56,709 --> 00:17:58,876
Well, I'll forgive
you if you'll forgive
412
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:01,645
the cheer I'm about
to deafen you with.
413
00:18:03,682 --> 00:18:06,250
Have dinner with
me after the party.
414
00:18:06,285 --> 00:18:07,752
At least.
415
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,754
A brief dinner.
416
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,886
Alex... that guy is the same guy
417
00:18:24,921 --> 00:18:26,499
I had the fight with in front
of the gallery the other night.
418
00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:27,755
Really? That's nice.
419
00:18:27,790 --> 00:18:28,939
In my cab.
420
00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:31,141
Elaine, please.
421
00:18:31,177 --> 00:18:34,344
He must be a friend
of Mrs. Hazeltine's.
422
00:18:34,380 --> 00:18:36,013
Oh, no. No.
423
00:18:36,049 --> 00:18:37,748
Elaine, I'd like you
424
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:40,534
to meet my very dear
friend, James Broderick.
425
00:18:40,570 --> 00:18:42,102
How do you do?
426
00:18:42,137 --> 00:18:43,921
We've met.
427
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:44,655
We have?
428
00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:46,056
Haven't we?
429
00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:48,053
I'm sorry, I don't place you.
430
00:18:48,077 --> 00:18:49,343
Oh.
431
00:18:49,379 --> 00:18:50,645
My mistake.
432
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:51,923
Well, I'm so glad
that you've come.
433
00:18:51,947 --> 00:18:54,982
Would you help yourself
to some refreshments?
434
00:18:55,018 --> 00:18:56,216
Thank you.
435
00:18:57,954 --> 00:18:59,420
He didn't recognize me.
436
00:18:59,455 --> 00:19:00,688
That's terrific.
437
00:19:00,723 --> 00:19:02,489
He looked right into my face
438
00:19:02,525 --> 00:19:04,107
and there was no
sign of recognition.
439
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,504
He didn't know me.
He didn't know me?
440
00:19:05,528 --> 00:19:07,756
Elaine, what are you doing?
441
00:19:07,780 --> 00:19:09,096
I'll never forget him. Never.
442
00:19:09,131 --> 00:19:10,597
I mean, we really had a fight.
443
00:19:10,632 --> 00:19:12,900
I can't believe he looked
through me like that.
444
00:19:12,935 --> 00:19:15,319
I was nothing to him,
just a faceless cab driver.
445
00:19:15,354 --> 00:19:16,454
Elaine, please.
446
00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:17,655
He needs a reminder.
447
00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:19,323
Elaine, now, a lot of
people aren't happy
448
00:19:19,358 --> 00:19:21,136
unless they screw things
up that are really going well.
449
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,860
Now, this is a very nice party.
450
00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:25,262
I mean, these people
are very important to you.
451
00:19:25,297 --> 00:19:27,314
I'm even trying to enjoy myself.
452
00:19:27,350 --> 00:19:30,617
Elaine, why don't you
just forget it, hmm?
453
00:19:30,652 --> 00:19:33,019
Elaine. Take a deep breath.
454
00:19:34,890 --> 00:19:36,089
Take a deeper one.
455
00:19:38,111 --> 00:19:39,343
That's my girl.
456
00:19:39,378 --> 00:19:40,544
Thanks.
457
00:19:40,579 --> 00:19:43,847
So you don't remember me, huh?!
458
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,362
Sure, I do.
459
00:19:47,386 --> 00:19:49,531
I just met you 30 seconds ago.
460
00:19:49,555 --> 00:19:52,356
I picked you up in my taxi
461
00:19:52,391 --> 00:19:54,536
four nights ago on
Madison Avenue.
462
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,560
She's a taxi driver.
463
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,497
And you accused me of trying
464
00:20:05,521 --> 00:20:07,221
to cheat you on a fare.
465
00:20:07,256 --> 00:20:08,350
That was you?
466
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:09,557
That was me.
467
00:20:09,592 --> 00:20:12,827
How can you yell into
a face for 15 minutes
468
00:20:12,862 --> 00:20:14,740
and then forget the
face you yelled into?
469
00:20:14,764 --> 00:20:16,380
Do you really mean it?
470
00:20:16,415 --> 00:20:17,965
You're a cab driver?
471
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,166
Yes, I am.
472
00:20:19,201 --> 00:20:21,535
I was right.
473
00:20:21,570 --> 00:20:24,855
I find that rather
hard to believe.
474
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,490
Well, I am.
475
00:20:26,525 --> 00:20:28,965
Alex and I are both cab drivers.
476
00:20:33,098 --> 00:20:35,932
What do you do for a living?
477
00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:37,248
Excuse me.
478
00:20:43,108 --> 00:20:44,274
Alex?
479
00:20:44,309 --> 00:20:46,221
Don't talk to me, Elaine.
480
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:49,547
You're going to stay here
till we're friends again.
481
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:52,582
Then we'll both
grow old together.
482
00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:54,785
Well, if it means
anything to you
483
00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:55,831
I just want you to know
484
00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:57,599
that I will always be
grateful that you taught me
485
00:20:57,623 --> 00:20:59,856
to simply tell
the truth. Elaine.
486
00:20:59,892 --> 00:21:02,242
I only wish the truth
worked for you too.
487
00:21:02,278 --> 00:21:05,729
I'm not going to
talk to you about it.
488
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,865
At least yell at me.
489
00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:10,380
That will make you feel better.
490
00:21:11,253 --> 00:21:13,787
You're not going
to talk about it.
491
00:21:13,822 --> 00:21:16,206
Nope. I'm just going to sit here
492
00:21:16,242 --> 00:21:17,942
and drink your champagne.
493
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,044
What I don't understand is...
494
00:21:26,068 --> 00:21:28,146
What's the big deal about it?
495
00:21:28,170 --> 00:21:29,648
I'll tell you what's
the big deal about it.
496
00:21:29,672 --> 00:21:33,090
A man waits all his life
for a woman like that.
497
00:21:33,126 --> 00:21:34,975
What's so great about her?
498
00:21:35,011 --> 00:21:36,793
What's so great about her?
499
00:21:36,829 --> 00:21:40,731
She's the kind of woman
only firefighters get.
500
00:21:40,766 --> 00:21:42,716
She just walks up to you
501
00:21:42,752 --> 00:21:45,920
looks you straight
in the eye and says...
502
00:21:45,955 --> 00:21:48,338
"Do you mind if I say
something candid?
503
00:21:48,373 --> 00:21:49,935
"I find you very attractive.
504
00:21:49,959 --> 00:21:52,326
"I don't usually
say things like that.
505
00:21:52,361 --> 00:21:55,262
I hope you don't mind."
506
00:21:55,297 --> 00:21:57,664
It sounded better
when she said it.
507
00:21:57,700 --> 00:21:59,666
It sounded like
once in a lifetime
508
00:21:59,702 --> 00:22:01,067
when she said it.
509
00:22:01,103 --> 00:22:04,237
It sounded terrible when
she stopped saying it.
510
00:22:04,273 --> 00:22:05,517
You know, I have a feeling
511
00:22:05,541 --> 00:22:07,519
you're gonna hear
from her again.
512
00:22:07,543 --> 00:22:11,245
Yeah, I could sort of tell from
the way she acted towards the end.
513
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:15,115
She called me garbage.
514
00:22:15,150 --> 00:22:16,350
There you go.
515
00:22:16,385 --> 00:22:19,436
Hey, you know how
women feel about garbage.
516
00:22:19,471 --> 00:22:20,820
Always wondering if what
517
00:22:20,856 --> 00:22:22,840
you've thrown out was important
518
00:22:22,875 --> 00:22:24,770
so you start digging through
it until you find it again.
519
00:22:24,794 --> 00:22:27,160
Elaine, don't try to make
me feel better, okay?
520
00:22:27,196 --> 00:22:29,263
Let's just go back
to my sitting here
521
00:22:29,298 --> 00:22:31,531
and you looking at
me... feeling awful.
522
00:22:33,636 --> 00:22:38,889
She spit on my shoes.
523
00:22:38,924 --> 00:22:40,824
What I really feel bad about
524
00:22:40,859 --> 00:22:43,877
is how great everything
turned out for me...
525
00:22:43,913 --> 00:22:46,947
people admiring the
way I hold down two jobs
526
00:22:46,983 --> 00:22:48,349
to support my family.
527
00:22:48,384 --> 00:22:50,817
They're saying how
great I am, you know
528
00:22:50,853 --> 00:22:53,687
and how terrific and
open and honest I am
529
00:22:53,723 --> 00:22:55,755
for telling people
I'm a cab driver.
530
00:22:55,791 --> 00:22:58,842
Even that fare turned
out to be a great guy
531
00:22:58,877 --> 00:23:00,393
forcing that tip on me?
532
00:23:00,429 --> 00:23:03,047
This is going to
pay for the party.
533
00:23:03,082 --> 00:23:04,982
I'm leaving.
534
00:23:05,017 --> 00:23:06,366
Alex, please forgive me.
535
00:23:06,402 --> 00:23:10,671
I can't believe you
won't forgive me.
536
00:23:10,706 --> 00:23:12,706
I'll die if you
don't forgive me.
537
00:23:15,077 --> 00:23:16,271
Oh, Alex.
538
00:23:16,295 --> 00:23:18,278
You're maybe my best friend.
539
00:23:25,220 --> 00:23:26,220
I forgive you.
540
00:23:33,762 --> 00:23:34,939
You mean it?
541
00:23:34,963 --> 00:23:36,891
I don't know with
those wild stories
542
00:23:36,915 --> 00:23:38,894
you're telling, you know?
543
00:23:38,918 --> 00:23:40,083
Yes, I mean it.
544
00:23:40,118 --> 00:23:42,485
From now on, I'm
going to have to go back
545
00:23:42,521 --> 00:23:44,721
to telling the
truth, only the truth.
546
00:23:46,592 --> 00:23:49,560
Thank you for inviting
me to your party, Elaine.
547
00:23:49,595 --> 00:23:50,794
I had a wonderful time.
548
00:24:27,666 --> 00:24:29,427
Night, Mr. Walters.37772
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