Original subtitles

♪♪ [ trumpets ]

Howdy.

I'’m the Old Ranger,

and Death Valley'’s my stampin'’ ground.

Many'’s the tale of adventure I'’m going to tell you

about the Death Valley country.

True stories, mind you.

I can vouch for that.

My story tonight is about is one of the most talked-of characters

in the old comstockian camp of Gold Hill, Nevada

back in, uh-- 1869.

They called her...

♪♪ [ piano ]

[ patrons whistling ]

♪♪ [ piano ]

THE OLD RANGER: Even solid citizens like Herb Grimshaw,

head of the miners'’ union...

Hank Pettibone, Superintendant of the Eclipse Mine...

and Otto Griffin, Fire Chief,

can be found admiring the babe'’s, uh--

talents.

Not to mention the newcomer, Keith Macintyre.

♪♪ [ piano ]

[ whistling ]

[ cheering ]

[ applause ]

[ laughter ]

[ cheering ] Woo-hoo!

Well, how '’bout it?

This is as good a time as any, huh?

Sure.Well, come on,

Let'’s go, then.

Come on.Come on.

♪♪ [ piano playing ]

This yours, stranger?

What is it?

A British sovereign, a pound.

Hey, boys, we got the bank of England with us!

[ laughter, cheering ]

[ clapping ]

Are you a Duke, or somethin'’?

No, just a second son,

out from London.

A remittance man.

Remittance, ay?

Hey, Nick, bring us a drink.

Well, let'’s go back here, where it'’s easier to talk.

I'’ve met a lot of different kinds of men in my life,

but you'’re a new one to me.

What'’s your name, handsome?

Keith Macintyre.

Well, I'’ll call you Mack till I get to know you better.

[ chuckles ]

Then there'’s no tellin' what I'’ll call ya.

Start remittin'’, Mack.

Now, tell me some more about this remittin'’ stuff.

What'’s it mean?

Well, a-- a remittance man is the second son

who'’s shipped out of the country

so the first son can be given the title.

Is that good, or bad?

Depends on the point of view.

You see, the estate goes with the title.

Well, that don'’t seem fair to me.

After all, it'’s not your fault you was born second.

It'’s your parents.

[ chuckles ] Well, that'’s the custom in England.

Kinda looks like you need this more than I do.

Oh, no, no.

I'’ll make money out here, plenty of it.

On my own.

Now you'’re talkin' like an American.

But let me give you a steer,

Don'’t waste your time prospectin'’ for gold or silver.

You prospect for water.

Water?

Scarcest thing there is in Gold Hill.

You'’re-- you'’re pulling my leg.

Hmm?

Any leg pullin'’ done around here is usually--

I mean you'’re-- you'’re joking.

Oh! [ laughs ]

No, I'’m givin' it to you straight.

You see, there'’s a water shortage,

and it gets worse as the town gets bigger.

Time'’s not far off

when water rights will be as valuable as mining rights.

So you hunt for water instead of gold.

I say, that'’s awfully decent of you,

to tip me off like that.

[ chuckles ] I'’ll get it back, don'’t worry.

[The Old Ranger] Meanwhile, on that same afternoon,

the Ladies Improvement Society of Gold Hill

was gathered to welcome the new schoolteacher,

Laura Latham.

Although this is not a regular meeting,

I feel that it would not be amiss

for us to take advantage of the opportunity

to discuss possible group projects.

You don'’t mind, Ms. Latham?

Oh, no, indeed, Mrs. Grimshaw,

I mean, Madame President.

Uh-- has anyone any suggestions?

[Mrs. Grimshaw] Yes, Mrs. Pettibone.

I'’d like to see us raise some money for a nice hearse.

A hearse?

Yes, to take the place of that bare freight wagon

we use for funerals.

It would raise the tone of Gold Hill,

I grant you, Mrs. Pettibone,

but, personally,

I feel that the living need our attention far more

than the dead.

I wish we would do something to beautify the streets,

perhaps plants trees,

and little lawns in front of our houses.

You forget the water shortage, Mrs. Griffin.

They'’d all die.

I withdraw the motion.

However, there is something that we could do

to improve our streets,

and that is to keep certain individuals off them.

like that-- that creature

from the Melodeon--

the Diamond Babe.

I met her the other day,

taking the air quite publicly...

in broad daylight.

We passed that close to one another.

[ tisking ]

Women like that should be tarred and feathered.

At least they should remain invisible.

Excuse me for asking, but who is this Diamond Babe?

Let'’s just say that she'’s, uh...

an undesirable.Oh.

As head of the miners'’ union, Mr. Grimshaw'’s word

carries great weight amongst the men,

and I know that he will support any action we decide to take.

As Superintendant of one of the biggest mine'’s in Gold Hill,

Mr. Pettibone also wields considerable influence,

and we can count on his cooperation.

With my husband

as chief of the Gold Hill Fire Department,

I'’m sure the men will follow his lead.

[ chatter ]

[ bells ringing ]

Company, halt!

[Diamond Babe] Where'’s the fire?

Right there--

the hottest thing in town!

[ laughter ]

Yeah, try and put me out!

Oh, no, we'’re takin' you in, Babe.

Diamond Babe,

at a meetin'’ at the Gold Hill Fire Company,

it was unanimously voted

that we elect you honorary Fire Chief.

And here'’s your certificate,

duly signed, sealed, and delivered.

Boys, I'’m thrilled to death.

[ laughter ]

Well, how do I look?

Hey!

Three cheers for the Fire Queen!

Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

Elbows on the bar, boys, the drinks are on me.

[ Diamond Babe laughs ]

[ cheering ]

What'’s the matter, Herb, quit drinkin'’?

No, but I gotta get home.

My wife'’s having company for supper,

and she warned me not to be late.

And whether he likes it or not,

I'’ve got orders to bring Keith with me.

I'’ll see you again.

Sure, anytime.

The door'’s always open.

I made those sponge cakes

for the Ladies Improvement Society

that met here this afternoon.

Whom do you improve?

Not themselves.

They couldn'’t be improved upon!

Nevermind the sarcasm, Herbert.

Are you a member, Ms. Latham?

Well, being new here, you might say,

more an honorary member.

Well, that'’s interesting.

You'’re the second honorary member I'’ve met today.

The gentlemen at the Fire Department were--

Sorry, I choked on a cake crumb.

Uh-- tell Keith about your society, Luella.

We work to improve the manners, morals,

and general tone of the town.

Which reminds me, Herbert, that we are commissioning you

to approach that, uh-- creature--

and insist that henceforth she restrict herself

to her own, uh-- bailiwick.

What are you talking about, Luella?

[ mouths ]

The Diamond Babe?

The woman we are speaking of is an entertainer.

Who'’s covered with diamonds, I understand.

Paste, of course.

Paste? Why I didn'’t think that--

Sorry, cake crumb again.

Uh-- you were saying, my dear?

She has been circulating quite publicly of late,

taking the air in broad daylight.

Well, it'’s hardly up to me, my dear,

to tell her when and where she can breathe.

Well, if you won'’t,

then Otto Griffin will use his influence

as head of the Fire Department.

[ coughing ]

This is the crummiest cake I ever ate.

I don'’t see how anyone as small and pretty as you

can ever keep order in that room full of pupils.

I make up with a paddle for what I lack in size.

Good afternoon.

Hello.

That must have been the Diamond Babe!

Quite.You spoke to her.

Right.Mr. Macintyre.

She calls me Mack,

but I'’d rather you call me Keith.

You know her?

We'’ve met.

What is she like?

No, don'’t tell me.

I'’d rather not know.

All those diamonds, it'’s-- it'’s indecent.

You still think they'’re paste?

I'’ll take my books now, if you'’ll be so kind.

I expect you know everything that'’s in these.

After all, I am a teacher.

But you still have a lot to learn.

What you need is a divining rod.

You walk along,

holding it over the ground,

and when you come to water, it begins to waggle so.

[ chuckles ] Where do I buy one?

[ laughs ] You don'’t,

you cut it from a witch hazel bush.

and I can tell you

where there'’s a clump of them growin'’.

right up Gold Canyon, about--

say, better yet, I'’ll take you there myself.

Now?Well, there'’s no time like the present.

But--

Oh, that'’s all right,

you don'’t have to be seen with me.

We can leave town separate.

It'’s you I'm thinking of.

Me?

I'’d hate to have you run into any unpleasantness.

What'’s the Ladies Improvement Society up to now?

I suppose they'’d like me to wear a veil over my face

when I appear in public.

No, no.

Or, perhaps not appear at all.

It'’s ridiculous, of course.

Well, thanks for telling me.

So they'’re daring me, ay?

Well, just for that, I'’ll double dare them.

Obviously my husband spoke to her, Mrs. Pettibone.

Why, she hasn'’t set foot on the streets since.

How do you know?

I'’ve been patrolling.

Well, I think we owe both Mr. and Mrs. Grimshaw

a vote of thanks.

Will you tell your husband for us?

I will indeed,

when he comes in.

He'’s at a meeting at the moment

at the Fire House.

They all are.

Mr. Macintyre'’s joined the engine company too.

How nice.

Well, now that we'’ve accomplished that much good, ladies,

I think that-- that--

[ bells ringing ]

That settles it!

That woman'’s got to leave Gold Hill altogether.

[The Old Ranger] Gold Hill was full of husbands in the dog house

that night.[no audible dialogue]

and what Mrs. Grimshaw said to Herb

was practically the same thing that Sybil said to Hank

and Amelia said to Otto,

but with Laura and Keith,

it was Keith who did most the talking.

trying to square himself.

The divining rod began to behave strangely, and--

bless my soul,

there only a few feet underground was water.

I find the straightaway, of course, and--

you'’re not listening.

Hmm? Oh yes, I am. You-- you filed.

And tomorrow I shall go to the Gold Hill Water Company

and arrange either to sell or lease,

and half of what I get is going to be yours,

for instructing me.

Well?

I say, you'’re acting rather queerly.

Are you put out with me?

No, of course not.

I was just thinking about Nick, my bartender.

What did he do?

He died today.

Died?

Went just like that, a couple hours ago.

What was it?

I haven'’t any idea.

He complained of a bad headache

and pains in his chest.

The next thing we knew, he'’d folded.

[Keith] Oh, I say, that'’s too bad.

Keith, do you know anything about medicine?

Medicine? Why, no. Why?

Tom Gunn died a little while ago, and I--

Tom Gunn?

First we thought it was ptomaine poisoning,

but ptomaine don'’t work that fast.

Did he have pains?

Yeah, head and chest.

Had trouble breathing.

It was all over before we could do anything for him.

Nick died the same way today!

Nick?

Have you seen Herb Grimshaw around?

He'’s right over there.

I never saw anybody go so fast.

Herb, we'’ve got some trouble up at the mine,

Tiny Dunlap just died.

Dunlap?

From what?

I don'’t know, complained of feelin'’ choked,

sorta like he was smotherin'’,

and four of the other boys have got the same thing.

First Nick, then Tom Gunn, now Tiny Dunlap.

It must be something contagious.

Yeah, but what?

And what do we do for it?

Well, it sounds like the same thing that hit Cripple Creek

when I was bartendin'’ there.

How'’d you treat him?

Well, the best thing we found was to put '’em to bed

and feed '’em plenty of soup.

Hank, bring those sick men here.

Get bunks to put '’em on.

You bet, Babe.

Herb, you check the other mines,

bring in any sick man

who hasn'’t got somebody to look after him.

You girls, make the rounds to all the families.

If you find anybody laid up, pour '’em full of soup.

Anything I can do?

Yes, tell your teacher friend to close the school,

and send the kids home.Right.

Here, Johnny,

put these in the safe for me.

Looks like I won'’t be needin'’ them for a while.Sure, Babe.

Laura, I was just coming to see you.

After seeing her, I noticed!

Stop being a prude and listen to me.

A strange sickness,

an epidemic, has hit this town.

Already several people have died,

and the Diamond Babe wants you to close the school.

I'’m in charge of the school, and I'’ll do as I think best!

You'’ll do as she says.

It'’s only common sense.

Very well,

and it'’s also common sense

that you don'’t call on me anymore!

[ weezing ]

[ knocking ]

Well, if it isn'’t the sweet little schoolteacher.

I heard Mr. Macintyre was sick.

That'’s right.

Well I came to take care of him.

Aren'’t you afraid of catching the sickness yourself?

Not anymore than you are.

Oh, what do you know?

Maybe I was wrong about you.

What do I do?

For him? Nothin'’.

I'’ve having him moved over to the saloon

with the rest of the men,

but if you really want to help,

you can turn your schoolroom into a hospital

for the sick women.

It'’s easier to take care of them all in one place.

I knew we should have gotten a hearse for this town.

Well, where are you ladies going?

I asked you where you'’re goin'.

Not that it'’s any business of yours,

but we'’re going to Carson City until this epidemic is over.

Well, isn'’t that nice?

You'’ve been harpin' about improvements in this town.

Now you'’re running out on the only chance you'’ll ever have

to do some improvements.

We have discussed the matter with our husbands,

and they have agreed this would be best.

Ha! I can imagine how much discussing you did.

We shall pray for the sick every day.

If you had any gumption, you'’d do your praying here

and nurse them at the same time.

Three of my girls are sick, and I can use some help!

But we could get the sickness ourselves,

And you could save the lives of some who already have it,

people you used to call your friends,

but if it doesn'’t make any difference to you,

go ahead, get on that stage, run away.

Driver, unload those bags.

Mrs. Pettibone and I have changed our minds about leaving.

Yes, these poor, unfortunate people here need us.

[The Old Ranger] In the weeks that followed,

while the epidemic raged,

the Diamond Babe drove herself night and day

taking care of the sick...

until she was almost sick herself with exhaustion,

but she kept at it,

and she kept her assistants busy, too.

They didn'’t work as hard as the Babe,

but they sure worked harder than they ever worked before,

and for the time being, at least,

there was an unspoken truce

between the good ladies of the Improvement Society

and the object of their disapproval.

Yes, sir,

night and day the Diamond Babe drove herself.

Not only in the saloon,

but everywhere else that she could help who needed it.

Well, the epidemic, whatever it was,

had finally run it'’s course,

and once more

it was business as usual in Gold Hill.

♪♪ [ piano ]

[ whistling, cheering ]

Well, howdy, teacher.

You wish to see me?

I sure did.

Come on in.

You did so well taking care of the sick people,

that I, uh-- wondered if you'’d help me out.

You see there'’s a fella that I can'’t cure,

and believe me, I'’ve tried.

[Laura] Mr. Macintyre!

Ms. Latham.

Keith.Laura.

[ bells ringing ]

Diamond Babe,

as members of the Gold Hill Ladies Improvement Society,

we have come here to--

Look, you haven'’t come here to ask me to join.

Oh, no. No, indeed.

We realize you'’re much too busy with other activities.

Good.

[Man] Yeah, we don'’t want to lose the Diamond Babe!

[together] We sure don'’t.

We have come here to express our appreciation

of your magnificent work

during the recent crisis which swept our community.

We believe in giving the devil his due.

I'’ll do the talking, Sybil.

In recognition whereof, we have voted unanimously

to present you with this scroll.

"Presented to the Diamond Babe,

"the Florence Nightingale of Gold Hill,

"for devotion and service to her community.

[ cheers ]

The Gold Hill Ladies Improvement Society."

Well, say, that'’s really swell.

Elbows on the bar, gals, the drinks are on me--

Oh excuse me, I'’ve kind of forgotten myself.

Uh, Sandy?

Make the ladies a pot of tea.

Well, they sure look swell.

Ladies, I can'’t tell you what this means to me.

Why, now I'’m not only the honorary Fire Chief of Gold Hill,

but also the Florence Nightingale.

Three cheers for our Florence Nightingale!

Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

[ cheering ]

Who'’s Florence Nightingale?

[The Old Ranger] All of which goes to show

that you can never tell if where you'’ll find a hero.

Or, a heroine.