All language subtitles for Capturing Connection

Hey everyone, I hope you guys are doing

well, hope you guys are safe, I hope

you guys are healthy, I hope where you

are restrictions are being lifted.

I know here some things are being lifted

slowly, which has been fantastic.

I don't know, really it's this is our

new normal, I guess as they say.

We'll see what happens.

Anyway, so I don't want to talk too

much about COVID because I'm sure everyone has

heard and they're a fair share of it.

So I'm going to jump right in.

I'm going to talk about Connection.

I'm going to talk a little about how

I capture Connection.

Like a lot of people have been unable

to go shoot, so I can't record videos

to show you guys hands-on techniques.

So I'm going to do my best in

describing what it is I do and how

I do it.

So first, I want to start by saying

that for me, Connection comes long before I

actually even pick up the camera.

I use the term Connection through everything that

I do.

So my website has the term Connection built

into it.

When I get emails, it is you know,

I get the inquiry and it's you know,

blah blah blah, we're getting married this date,

you know, do your packages include engagement sessions?

And you know, I reply, thanks so much

for the email.

And then I use the term Connection.

So it's like my sessions or my weddings

are this much and you can add a

Connection session.

And you know, so it kind of starts

to build this term and this awareness of

what it is I'm after.

So they may reply back, you know, thanks

so much for the reply.

What's a Connection session?

And I reply, Connection session is this.

And so it's just simple term, Connection kind

of drives home what it is I'm after

before I've even picked up the camera.

So when they show up on their Connection

session day or even if they don't book

it, but they on their wedding day, they

know I've set the expectation for what it

is I'm after, you know, it's I have

some friends that call them adventure sessions.

You know that term, I think we can

agree that if we book an adventure session,

we're not going to suggest to the photographer

that we want to sit in a coffee

shop and take photos from the other side

of the window, you know, it's we're going

on an adventure.

So, you know, Jess, she did beloved sessions,

you know, same idea, same term.

It kind of drives home what it is.

So I suggest, you know, if it's something

that you're looking for, you can use the

term Connection session.

I know a lot of people use the

term adventure session if that's what you're after,

but that word, you know, throughout my emails,

throughout my website, on my galleries, really drives

home what it is my couples will be

doing on during their portrait session.

So we get all that and how I

always start my sessions is you know, regardless

if it's on the wedding day or if

it's a separate connection session is I get

my couples to walk.

So it sounds super simple.

It is very simple.

But what a lot of us and a

lot of our couples are going through is

there's a lot of there's a lot of

energy.

There's a lot of, you know, is my

hair right?

Did I choose the right outfit?

How's the weather been?

They've been really thinking about this probably for

days leading up to it and it's really

difficult to get your couples to get right

out of the car and jump right into

a session, right?

Like it's you can't just pick a spot

say hey and start shooting.

Those photos usually never turn out well.

So for me, my camera usually stays in

my bag.

I don't bring it out.

I have it, you know, in a bag,

you know across over my shoulder.

And when I pick a location, we just

get out we walk for 5, 10, 15

minutes whatever that is to really get them

to just relax, right?

Like it's you know, if you've picked a

location and the magic spot is right where

you are parking or very close to where

you park what I suggest you do is

to end there or go for a walk

and end back up there.

It's to me just that giving my clients

the ability just to relax, talk, you know,

walk it off as I say really changes

the dynamic between them and the energy as

you start to shoot.

So another thing I do is I tell

all my couples verbally.

I just explain to them that I need

them to just embrace the awkward.

Let that feeling of awkwardness come over them.

It's don't try to fight it.

The longer they fight it, the longer it's

going to take them to get over it.

So every couple I'm, you know, I'm myself

included when I first we get out of

the car.

Hey, how are you guys doing?

And then we go for a walk.

I stop them and I say, okay, you

guys are going to stand here and let

me just start to explain to them a

few things.

And one of them is, hey guys, I

know this is super weird.

This feels weird.

You know, I joke with them.

It feels weird for me.

But I just need you guys to embrace

that awkwardness, you know, and I explain to

them the longer you fight it the longer

it's going to take you to get over

it.

You know, and it's if you give them

the permission to be awkward it will substantially

make your couples more comfortable in their own

skin and with you photographing them, you know,

they are essentially, they're living that moment of

awkwardness when they're in their head comparing themselves

to all those photos that you've posted on

your website, on your Instagram feed, on your

Facebook post, all the blog photos, all those,

you know, banger images that you're sharing.

That's what they're comparing.

They're in the moment too, right?

It's they're comparing their they're comparing their behind

the scenes to your highlight reel essentially.

So they feel weird, you know, you've probably

heard it.

Oh, we're not as cool as all your

other couples.

But again, just let them be awkward, you

know, it's every couple starts off like this.

You know, for me every couple in my

sessions, wedding day or connection sessions starts off

with this weird giggly too close because it's

their comfort zone, you know, and they just

feel weird, you know, and if you explain

to them this, you know, it what happens

what ends up happening is a calmness, knowing

that they're not alone, right?

They feel more comfortable if you know that

this is normal or if they know that

this is normal.

So again, just explain to them to embrace

the awkwardness, okay?

Once we get past that or once that

kind of starts to dissipate or wash away

from them, I always explain to my couples.

I need you guys to be in the

moment.

You know, there's the if anyone does yoga

out there, there's leave, you know, keep your

mind on the mat.

It's if you ask your couples to really

be present and in the moment for if

it's a wedding day and they've given you

say half an hour or an hour or

whatever that time is or your connection session

and you have like a two-hour window

or an hour window, I just tell my

couples just give me an hour, just whatever

that number is.

Just give me one hour to capture you

guys.

Don't worry about what happened before.

Don't worry about what's going to happen at

like tonight at the reception, you know, just

enjoy this moment together and be present, be

together, okay?

What happens when they do that is it

kind of triggers this idea that now they're

concentrating on each other as opposed to thinking

about what happens prior to their day if

it's a connection session at work or wedding,

what's going to happen later at reception or

dinner or dance, you know, all that stuff

is going to happen.

So I just explain to them just be

present and in the moment for me and

for the images and for you guys.

Um this idea of don't look at me.

So I see a lot of work as

I've been doing this and a lot of

the times I see photos where the guy,

the groom or the bride, uh, they're looking

at the camera.

A lot of people find that awkward.

A lot of people associate getting their picture

taken with staring into a camera, which if

you've ever had it happen is awkward.

It does feel weird.

So I always tell my couples you're not

going to look at the camera.

You are going to connect with each other.

You're going to have your eyes closed.

You're going to be looking down.

So one of the ways to me this

idea of eyes down has completely changed years

ago when I started doing this, completely changed

the look of my work.

So regardless if the couple is truly connecting

or if maybe they're having difficulties at and

you don't have a lot of time, so

you just need those images, I tell my

couples keep your eyes down.

So it's either going to be you're looking

at each other, so in the eye, or

you're looking at nose, lips, chin, chest, or

feet, or in a two-foot circle around

or eyes closed.

Okay, what that does is it brings the

connection within that circle with each other.

It brings a sense of calmness to the

image and it really brings connection.

So if we look at, you know, Rich

and Dorothy.

So this was taken in New York.

So this is in Manhattan.

It's crazy busy outside.

There's stuff going on behind me.

I'm shooting them and it's really distracting.

All the noise, the chaos, that and what

I basically told them is just bring your

eyes down.

And within half a second it changes everything

within that image.

So it's looking out, looking out at what's

going on around it and just literally a

simple, hey guys, just bring your eyes down

and it visually becomes a much more connected

photo.

So tell your couples when you're shooting guys,

you know, either forehead, nose, lips, chin, chest,

feet, two-foot circle around or eyes closed.

Just bring those eyes down.

Okay.

No kissing.

So I don't, I explain to all my

couples, you are not allowed to kiss.

There's no kissing during my portrait sessions and

the reason for me why I do that

is I find kissing almost, I, the cop

-out I guess is really, it's a really

easy way to show connection between two people.

It's almost too easy and it can become

across as to me, I feel it's very

posy.

So I always tell my couples you are

not allowed to kiss.

You, there's no kissing during the session.

So to me, I'll explain to her and

if you want to kiss, kiss her forehead,

you know, kiss her nose, kiss her chin,

kiss her cheek, kiss the back of her

neck.

To me, those are much more, it's a

much more intimate feeling than you know, a

kiss.

And I can almost hear people, I can

almost hear photographers in photos, you know, saying

just kiss her.

I know videographers do it a lot.

Just, just kiss, just kiss.

And to me, it's I know it's too

easy.

There's no, there's no emotion there.

There's no intimacy and you know, excitement and

tension.

So for me, it's always you can come

close or kiss other parts, you know, like

I said, forehead, nose, chin, cheek, you know,

temple, back of the neck.

Those things to me are much more intimate.

So I always tell my couples there's no

kissing.

One of the things that that can also

create is he may sneak a kiss, you

know, during a session or during a pose

or right after the pose is finished that

she may back away and be like, uh,

no, you know, and it creates this energy

and this laugh and this excitement and real

emotion between the couple when they almost start

to play off of it and start to

play with each other.

Okay.

Hands.

I shoot a ton of hands.

I personally think hands are this incredible way

to show affection between two people and intimacy

between two people.

It's allows you to take away the visual

part of what someone looks like where, you

know, the viewer at times and just human

nature can be, you know, somewhat judgmental as

the way someone looks or the way their

makeup is or hair or whatever that be,

features, facial features.

But if you strip that away and just

focus on a simple touch or, you know,

how delicate a touch can be, it to

me shows an incredible amount of intimacy and

connection between a couple when you don't see

what's happening here and you just see what's

happening between hands.

Um, this is hilarious.

I actually got this from I think Victor

Lacks did it and you know a hand

changes everything, which makes me laugh every time

I see it.

So all that, so hands, you know, being

the moment, uh, eyes down, all this stuff.

One of the things I get, you know,

you take all that and it leads up

to how are we posing our couples?

How are we getting them to interact with

each other?

And the term squeeze I use, you know,

probably 20, 30, 40, 50 times during a

session.

To me, it's such a simple term to

tell, you know, him to squeeze her in,

you know, squeeze her tight, you know, the

way he, she may hold him.

To me, a lot of couples will just

put their hands on each other.

You know, it's like you tell them to

get close and it's just a really simple

like, eh, they touch.

And there's no passion.

There's no intimacy.

There's no excitement and energy in that, you

know.

So I tell my couples squeeze, squeeze her

in.

I want to see, you know, those arms

wrapped around her.

I want to see him hold her, you

know, the back of her dress or the

way she touches his neck or grabs his

jacket and, you know, pulls her in or

pulls him in.

To me, that's much more intimate and it

creates this visual feeling of like passion and

connection as opposed to just a, you know,

I call them fish hands or floppy hands

or hey buddy hands, right?

So just tell your couples when they're close

and after you've kind of moved, you can't

just get out of the car and say,

okay, squeeze each other.

So after, you know, they've got through the

awkwardness and you explain no kissing, you know,

and we're eyes down on that and they're

holding each other, just squeeze.

I want to see you squeeze her in.

I want to see you pull her in

like you never want to let her go.

So to me, again, this creates a sense

of intimacy and emotion and connection.

That simple term squeeze, okay?

Sniff.

This is something that I've been doing probably

for five years, four or five years.

It is, it's such a simple thing to

do.

It is, it can create a lot, visually,

it can really add to an image.

So, you know, when your couple is close

together, you know, if he's holding her or

she's holding him, I usually just ask them

or explain to them when he squeezes you

in, I want you to close your eyes

and sniff him, okay?

So what that does is, you know, it

brings up her chin.

It creates this really romantic visual photo where,

you know, he has his left arm behind

her and all I said was when he

squeezes you in, I just want you to

lift your chin ever so slightly and sniff,

okay?

It can also add hilarity to a photo

shoot because what will happen is, you know,

she may go really hard and it creates

laughter.

So it not only can give you a

really beautiful romantic photo, but it can also

add a really funny photo, something with real

emotion, something where you're not like, okay, laugh,

whereas they have gone down this road together,

you know, she sniffed super hard, she found

it hilarious, and then you're ready to capture

that photo, okay?

So sniff, super simple, all right?

Or, you know, you can use, you know,

you can tell her, you know, if you

don't want to sniff, maybe that feels weird

is, you know, pretend you're about to whisper

something into his ear.

And again, just that simple lift of the

chin and I usually cue it with when

he squeezes you or when he rubs his

arms or his hands up the back of

your arm and when he gets to your

shoulders, he's going to squeeze you and when

he squeezes you, that's when you lift your

chin, okay?

Because it's really hard to direct them and

just start shooting and say, okay, lift, you

know, you need to kind of move into

the pose as opposed to just start it

right off.

Okay.

Moments.

You know, so we've done posing, we do

connection, we do squeeze and, you know, the

hands and all this stuff.

But one of the amazing things I find

over the years is sometimes, and I think

we can all agree and I hear it

through so many different photographers, is sometimes the

best photos are those moments that happen right

after you're finished a pose.

So, you know, we have your couple, you've

had your couple, there's beautiful light coming through,

you know, you're telling him to squeeze her,

you know, you're lifting a chin, all this

stuff, sniff, whisper, no kissing, you know, and

all of a sudden, okay guys, that's beautiful,

let's go to the next spot and there's

that split second where they kind of just

breathe and it's like this beautiful thing that

happens where they're just like done, right?

They just walk away.

To me, I've really trained myself to constantly

keep the camera here.

I shoot live view, so I'm always like

this and, you know, you're posing, you're posing,

you're posing, okay guys, we're good, let's go

and just keep it on them.

Sometimes nothing happens, right?

Sometimes it's just, they're just done, they just

literally stop, walk away, but sometimes you get

these beautiful things where, you know, they're guards

down, but they're still in that moment together,

right?

So for me, I've really started to focus

on those un-pose, those after the pose

moments.

So again, I challenge you guys to like

shoot, shoot, shoot, set this stuff up and

then don't stop when you say, okay guys,

we're good.

To me, the live view really allows me

to do that because people associate this with

the camera in front of your face as

you're still shooting, okay?

Whereas if you kind of leave it here,

they can see you, they can see your

reaction, they can read your face, you guys

can have a conversation, but they don't associate

this with shooting.

So it allows them to be much more

calm and that goes for everything.

You know, I've really started shooting live view

across the board for all my shots and

all my couple portrait sessions because this down

here, when they can see your face, allows

them to relax more than this big black

box, you know, shooting this, you know, if

you've ever looked at an 85mm lens on

a Canon, you know, it is like soul

-sucking essentially, like it is huge.

So to me, just drop it, shoot it

down here, or right here, they can still

see your face.

It adds a lot more calmness and friendliness,

I guess, in your interaction and connection with

your couple, which will allow them to connect

together more if they feel comfortable connected with

you.

So guys, I hope that helps a little.

I am working on more stuff.

I have bits and pieces of videos that

I'm trying to stick together with my editor.

I'm going to post this up.

I'm going to post the gallery up.

I would love to possibly do a Zoom

meeting with some Q&A's at some point,

but I am, again, I hear, I think

everyone wants to see more posing and I

need to get out, shoot, and record some

stuff so I can give you guys some

like really hands-on stuff.

I may do another editing video because I

know a few people have wanted to see

more editing.

But again, I hope this kind of gives

you an idea of how I shoot and

the little things I'm doing, like the squeeze

and explaining to couples the awkwardness and embrace

it and be in the moment and the

eyes down.

I think a lot of you guys, if

you practice that next time you go shoot,

whenever that may be, is really focused on

getting your couple's eyes down and with each

other as opposed to to the camera or

one-off up in the sky.

It's something I see a lot with the

eyes down.

I think that will really change a lot

of people's work is if they can focus

on getting their couple's eyes down or at

each other.

It will definitely create more connection between your

couple.

So guys, I hope that helps a little.

Again, comments.

I love reading them because it gives me

an idea of the direction what you guys

want to see.

Again, I think the majority of you guys

want to see more posing and I am

working.

I am probably going to hopefully set up

a shoot because restrictions are easing up here

where I am.

So I'm hoping to set something up within

the next few weeks.

It's been pouring rain.

So I want stuff to kind of dry

out so I can get out, but I

appreciate you guys so much.

I hope you guys are all staying safe

and healthy.

And yeah, I thank you so much and

I hope this adds a little, gives you

guys a little perspective in the how I

shoot my sessions.

All right, guys, take care.

I wish you guys all the best and

we'll talk soon.

Okay.

Bye.