Original subtitles

♪ Electronic music, distorted vocalizing ♪

♪ theme music playing ♪

♪ 8-bit music playing ♪

[ship zooming]

[landing gear creaks] [roof slams shut]

Spectacular, isn't it?

Probably! What is it?

I've created a simulation

of the entire universe!

♪ Dramatic sting ♪

[all gasp]

Oh! In that case, it stinks.

I keep forgetting, Professor.

Are we in the entire universe?

Why, naturally!

[beeping]

3-PIXEL PROFESSOR: Good news, everyone!

We've got a delivery!

[3-Pixel characters cheer]

But first, roll call!

Leela? 3-PIXEL LEELA: Here.

3-PIXEL PROFESSOR: Fry? 3-PIXEL FRY: Present!

3-PIXEL PROFESSOR: Scruffy? 3-PIXEL SCRUFFY: Yep.

3-PIXEL PROFESSOR: Hermes? 3-PIXEL HERMES: Check.

3-PIXEL PROFESSOR: Bender?

3-PIXEL BENDER: Bite my shiny middle pixel!

3-PIXEL PROFESSOR: Amy? 3-PIXEL AMY: Shmobviously.

3-PIXEL PROFESSOR: And the rest.

3-PIXEL ZOIDBERG: Hooray! I'm an unnamed member of the group!

That's amazing, Professor!

How'd you make it so crummy?

It wasn't easy. Even to achieve this level of realism

requires vast amounts of computing power.

[beeping]

My Simputron uses more electricity

than 100 bug zappers.

Which reminds me, I had to unplug our bug zappers.

[mosquito buzzing]

[grunting]

- Ow! - Got him!

[mosquito buzzing] - The mosquito is still alive.

There's a mosquito?

♪ Whimsical electronic music playing ♪

3-PIXEL HERMES: Listen up, threeple!

Today, you'll be delivering this package to Space Italy.

Space Italy?

I know, it's an embarrassingly lazy name.

But when you're creating an entire universe from scratch,

you can't make up a believable name for everything.

Sometimes, you just have to go with "Space Italy"

or "the Robot Planet"

or "Dr. Zoidberg."

Preposterous.

♪ Upbeat 8-bit music playing ♪

[ship zooming]

[landing gear clicking]

[air brakes hiss]

[water streaming, 8-bit beeping]

3-PIXEL LEELA: Wow, Space Italy!

You delivering that package, Bender?

3-PIXEL BENDER: Up all those steps? No grazie.

I'll just chuck it into Trevi Fountain for good luck.

[giggles, grunts]

MALE: Ooh! [glass breaks]

3-PIXEL BLEK: Papa pia! He hit-a the Space Pope!

[European police siren] [tires screech]

3-PIXEL ITALIAN URL: You're under arrest for-a bonking His Holiness.

3-PIXEL ITALIAN SMITTY: I tell-a you, this-a Planet Express company

is a real two-bit operation, eh?

3-PIXEL BENDER: More like three! [laughs]

[handcuffs click] [Bender screams]

3-PIXEL LEELA: So, um, as long as we're here,

wanna see the sights?

3-PIXEL FRY: When in Space Rome...

♪ soft, romantic music playing ♪

[kiss]

3-PIXEL LEELA: Michelangelo's David! So lifelike!

3-PIXEL FRY: Jeez, Dave! Get a fig leaf!

[3-Pixel Leela giggles]

3-PIXEL GONDOLIER [singing]: ♪ La la la! ♪

♪ La la la! ♪

♪ La la la... ♪

[3-Pixel Leela sighs]

♪ music swelling ♪

3-PIXEL LEELA: I just can't understand how it doesn't fall dow...

[screams] [thuds]

3-PIXEL FRY: Let me give you a han...

[screams] [thuds]

[both laughing]

[both moaning, kissing]

Oh, mama, they're goin' at it like two packs of gum!

Bender, give us a little privacy.

[clang] ALL: Aw...

So, do those people in the casserole

know they're in a simulation,

or do they think that they're real?

Of course, they think they're real.

To them, the rules of my software

are just their laws of physics.

But, we think we're real.

Couldn't our universe also be a simulation?

[laughs] Absolutely not! No chance.

The very idea is preposterous! - How can you be so sure?

Because it's computationally impossible!

For example, every atom in the universe

is affected whenever one little thing moves.

Like my ass? [humming, grunting]

[distorted whirring]

Oh yeah! Come on! [humming, grunting]

PROFESSOR: That's a perfect example, Bender,

and some pretty decent twerking. [whirring continues]

My software can't possibly compute the gravitational changes

between Bender's ass and every other particle,

so I had to have the information travel outward gradually,

at a fixed speed.

Like the speed of light in our universe?

Right!

[clears throat]

Oh, fuff. That's just a coincidence.

I had to cut other corners, too.

I mean, my simulation doesn't even keep track

of exactly where everything is.

Takin' all bets!

Find the ball, win me not punching you!

ZOIDBERG: My last $5 on cup number one!

In fact, make it my last $10!

Another convenient example.

My lazy software wouldn't even decide which cup the ball's in

until someone actually looked at it. [distorted whirring]

Until then, it's just sort of in both.

[Bender giggles] [Zoidberg groans]

So your programming shortcut

is like quantum mechanics in our world?

Exactly like that!

[clears throat]

Hm, interesting.

I guess what I'm trying to say is

our universe is probably also a simulation.

[all gasp]

But that's the exact opposite of what you said one minute ago!

New evidence was presented and I changed my mind.

I'm a scientist, not a...

- Idiot? - Politician.

Man. Imagine how awful it would be

to find out your whole personality was just simulated,

like Bender's.

Whuzzulated? Like whozer's?

I just mean you're an artificial intelligence, Bender.

Like the people in the Professor's simulation.

- Artificial? - Uh-huh. Yep.

Why'd you have to tell me? You just ruined my life!

My big fat fake life! [sobs]

You're a walking bucket!

How can you say I'm not real?!

If you prick me, do I not bleed?

[clanging] [grunting]

Okay, that was a bad example!

[pin stabbing] - Ow! I'm bleeding!

- Showoff. - There, there, Bender.

You're as real as any of us.

The philosopher René Descartes said,

"I think, therefore I am."

Can you think? - I don't think so!

I think I might not be able to think!

Anyway, it was a fun little universe,

but we're looking at a Godzilla-sized electric bill.

It's time to shut it down.

But, you can't just turn them off!

That would be like turning me off!

Good idea! That'll save even more power!

But we'll start with them.

No...

BENDER: no...

[grunting]

The plug is stuck.

[Bender continues yelling] Or maybe I'm just extraordinarily weak.

That is a possibility.

Oh, bother. I'll just keep the simulation running a little longer.

BENDER: Thanks, Professor! [both grunting]

Bender, how were you leaping through the air that entire time?

I wasn't! My first leap missed by a mile,

so I leapt again.

But I never stopped screaming for a second!

♪ Upbeat 8-bit music playing ♪

3-PIXEL FRY: I feel like I've been in existence for a while now, Leela.

So it's time I set myself a life's goal.

3-PIXEL LEELA: That's a great idea! I'll be quiet and let you think.

3-PIXEL BENDER: And I'll turn on the TV to drown out any distracting noises.

[click, static]

[Hypnotoad buzzing]

3-PIXEL FRY: That's it! I found my life's goal!

I, Philip J. Fry, hereby pledge

to watch every TV show ever made.

3-PIXEL LEELA: Oh Lord.

That orange guy sure is dumb.

[sobs] These innocent bit bags may be artificial,

[gasps] like me,

but they don't know that!

They deserve the same respect as any other living creature.

Except clams!

To hell with clams!

I'm telling you they're nothing but ones and zeros!

They're no more alive

than the number 10101.

She was my aunt!

Professor, I think Bender might be right.

No, you don't!

I mean, we're nothing more than atoms, right?

But, somehow, we are more.

[Bender sniffles, gasps]

♪ melancholic music playing ♪

Unlike clams!

♪

Professor, I will now ask of you a solemn promise.

Now, the feet. - Forget the feet!

Alright, whatever.

Why are we in a robot strip club?

♪ Club music playing ♪

Because we had to do this in a place

that's meaningful to me!

Bender!

Here you go, hun.

- Keep the change, toots. - Ow!

[gulping, belches]

Let the solemn ceremony begin.

Professor, you created a world of conscious living beings,

so now you're responsible for them.

I want you to swear you'll do everything in your power

to keep them alive.

I barely make any effort to keep myself alive.

Oof! - Professor!

And you'll never let them know they're not real! Never!

So they won't have to go through what I'm going through!

I swear nothing!

I said swear it!

[sighs] Very well. I swear it.

But the amount of electricity...

Why, we'd basically need our own hydroelectric generator.

I really don't think there's any possible...

[toilet flushes]

Eureka!

As you all know, I do my best thinking on the toilet.

We know! Stop telling us!

I didn't even have to go.

I was just sitting here, wiling away a Sunday afternoon,

when suddenly, it hit me!

A new source of electricity!

Would you care to tell us about it... in another room?

No!

According to these old maps,

which I use in lieu of toilet paper...

[all gagging] BENDER: Ew!

The main New New York sewer line

runs directly under Planet Express.

♪

[rumbling] We'll simply drill into the pipe,

drop this turbine into the torrent,

and voila! Free clean power!

- Clean? - Oh my, no.

[whirring, crunching]

[growling]

We're approaching the main pipeline.

Can you imagine the quantity of sewage running through there?

Yes!

LEELA: Contact in four! Three!

Number two! [splash]

[all gagging, retching]

♪ upbeat music playing ♪

[all coughing, gagging]

Let's rarely speak of that again.

This should generate enough power to keep the simulation running.

And it's substantially higher resolution!

[whirring, beeping]

Let's see how my guys are doing.

[simulation beeping]

3-PIXEL PROFESSOR: Good news, everyone!

We have a delivery to the King of Space.

[simulation crew cheers]

Aw, they're so cute!

Now I care about them!

Happy, Bender? We saved your little friends.

I sure did.

SIMULATED PROFESSOR: In other news, I've made a huge breakthrough!

- What is it, Professor? - No, him.

- What is it, Professor? - After many sleepless nights

and an equal number of glorious sleep-filled days,

I've completed my greatest achievement!

[beep, whirring]

A simulation of our entire universe!

♪ Dramatic sting ♪

3-PIXEL PROFESSOR: Good news, everyone!

We have a delivery to Space Italy!

[3-pixel crew cheers]

[hologram crew gasps]

[crew gasps]

[whoosh]

♪

Sweet facsimile of Space Italy!

A simulation...

Within a simulation!?

Where does it all end? - Hopefully there.

Already my head hurts.

Professor, if you can make a whole simulated universe,

isn't it possible that our own universe

is also a simulation?

Absolutely not!

You sound like a stoned freshman!

I mean, what if our laws of physics are just the computer code

of some big brilliant professor playing god up there?

Nailed it!

Hm. Quantum mechanics is pretty ridiculous,

but it's a moot point.

Even if we are living in a simulation,

there's no possible way of knowing.

[clears throat]

Yes?

Oh, nothing. I just had a loogie in my throat.

Possibly a simulated loogie. [lights flicker]

What's that? A g-g-g-grid overload?

My simulation is drawing a lot of power for some reason.

[whirring, beeping]

Ah! It appears two black holes just collided in there.

Can you imagine how complex that computation is?

The Simputron is really straining to keep up.

[creaking, hissing]

Oh, my glorsh!

Maybe there is a way to find out if we live in a simulation.

Well, I doubt that.

Double doubt it!

If our universe is a simulation,

then it's running on some kind of computer, right?

I'm with you so far.

Actually, I'm not. Is this about a new soda?

Suppose we made something happen that was impossible

for that big computer to simulate.

It would overload!

Exactly!

Cool! And then what?

I don't know! Probably stuff would pixelate and look weird!

The laws of physics would fail!

Like playing a new video game on a crummy underpowered game system!

Precisely!

That my cheapskate grandma got me.

Some phenomena are so wildly complex

that they'd be impossible for any computer to simulate.

For example, a collapsing magnetic star

or magnetar.

But such an event might not happen for millions of years.

But, what if we intentionally caused a magnetar to collapse?

Then, we could just watch and see if the universe glitches out.

Of course! And we'd know once and for all

if we're living in a simulation.

[all cheering]

Although, I'm not sure I wanna know the answer to that.

Me neither. I like resting secure in the knowledge

that I'm the real deal.

[imitates buzzer] Guess again, loser. [giggles]

[loud sobbing]

Let's put it to a vote.

Who here wants to test if we're living in a simulation?

[all agreeing]

And who would rather continue living in shameful ignorance?

[all agreeing] - That one!

You all voted for two things.

Honestly. I wanna know if I'm not living in a simulation,

but not if I am.

Does that make sense?

Surprisingly, yes. Let's just forget about it.

Although, now we're always gonna be wondering.

Let's just go.

♪

[ship roaring]

Uh-oh. Not good.

[spits] Not good at all.

My half-baked software absolutely will not be able

to simulate a collapsing magnetar.

Oh, I never should have outsourced it

to that Indian middle schooler.

But, the simulations will find out they're simulations!

You swore a strip club oath that would never happen.

Alas, there'll be no hiding the truth

when they see that magnetar glitching out

like a big flaming ball of Microsoft Word.

[sniffs] Well, if they're gonna find out anyway,

I should be the one to tell them.

I'm the only one who truly understands!

Plus, I like delivering bad news.

Actually, that might be possible.

Since you're basically just software

in a greasy wad of aluminum foil...

Aw...

I could extract your programming, compress it,

and inject it into Simulated Bender.

You'd take his place in the simulated world.

But what would happen to him?

He'd be pushed through to the sub-simulation.

And that Bender?

It's Benders all the way down.

Alright. I'm going in.

[all gasp]

I must warn you, Bender.

It'll be a one-way trip.

There's no way of returning.

That's okay. I don't wanna live in a world

where I'm less real than everyone else.

Those are my people in there,

in Baloney Town.

♪ Melancholy music playing ♪

[zap] Ooh! [giggling]

In a few minutes, you should reboot

in the simulated world as Simulated Bender.

Or you might die.

[emotionally] Goodbye, precious friends and coworkers.

Goodbye, sewage-stained floor tiles.

[flatly] Goodbye, Zoidberg.

How will I go on without you?

[crank, zapping]

[creaks, clatters]

I'll get a broom.

♪ Tense music playing ♪

[ship roaring]

Holding outside magnetar implosion range.

We'll be safe at this distance,

even if, God forbid, we're real.

Then it's time to put reality to the test.

- I'm scared! - I am, too.

But it's actually kind of beautiful.

Would it be any less beautiful if it weren't real?

And we weren't real?

We'll find out soon enough.

Begin monopole bombardment!

[zapping]

♪

♪

[groaning] - You okay, buddy?

No! [retching]

Probably a bad clam.

I think I'm gonna reboot!

[powering down] Oh...

[fizzling]

Where... Where am I?

You're right here, Bender.

Just outside magnetar implosion range.

Oh... Right.

Baloney Town.

[muffled laser whirring]

Guys? I have something to tell you,

and it'll be the hardest bad news

I've ever had the pleasure of delivering.

Shush, Bender! We're about to find out

if we're living in a simulation!

Right... It-it's about that. See...

I've been thinking about that, too, actually.

And you wanna know what I think?

- Do I! - I think it makes no difference at all.

Either way, the laws of the universe are way beyond our control.

So, what can we do?

We just make the best of it.

I don't know what we're about to see, Leela, but I love you.

Now and forever.

And that much is real,

even if we're not.

[sniffles]

Hm... The dummy's right.

I feel, therefore I am.

It doesn't matter if I'm real?

Not one bit.

So what did you wanna tell us, robot?

Just... [sobs] thank you!

[wailing]

[sighs] That's robots for you.

Now, let's sit back and enjoy the show.

♪ Dramatic music playing ♪

Oh, lordy-loo. The magnetar is about to pop!

How's the Simputron holding up?

[beeping, alarm blaring] AMY: Processor overload!

The cooling fan's on fire!

[fire blasts] Whoa!

[all gasp]

♪

[alarm continues] - Pull the plug! Stop the simulation!

No! Bender's in there!

There's no choice. This building's about to go up in smoke,

and I've got doomsday devices hidden in every nook and cranny.

♪ Melancholy music playing ♪

I'm sorry, buddy.

I know you can't hear me, but we tried our best.

At least you got to go out with dignity.

[woozy groaning]

[splat]

[monotone] Rebooting.

[normal] Where... Where am I?

Right here, in the universe.

Oh... I had to come tell you something...

Bender? How did you possibly manage to come back?

Don't be rude, Professor, Bender was speaking first.

What did you wanna tell us, robot?

It's just that...

I know how to save the simulation.

Oh, please. There's no possible...

[toilet flushes]

Eureka!

I made the change you suggested, Bender.

Although it took a lot of toilet time to fully comprehend.

We won't need nearly so much power

now that I've under-clocked the processor.

But, won't the simulation run slower?

Oh, much slower.

Are we talking regular slow or bureaucrat slow?

Infinitely slower than that.

[gasps] [glass shatters]

So they'll be in, like, a coma?

Oh my, no!

They'll never notice any difference.

But while they live out one second of their lives,

years, if not centuries, will pass for us.

Aw, then I guess we won't get to spy on them anymore.

Spy all you like.

But it's about to get very, very boring.

Not for them.

♪ Satellite by Tea playing

[zapping, whirring]

[all gasping, exclaiming]

[blasting, whirring]

[glitching]

[all gasp] ZOIDBERG: Pixels...

[gasping]

♪ To make it real, really real ♪

♪ She says ♪

♪ You just have to be here ♪

♪ rock guitar riff ♪

♪ On this satellite ♪

♪ Satellite ♪

♪ Had to be here ♪

♪ On this satellite ♪

♪ Satellite ♪

♪ Had to be here ♪

♪ On this satellite ♪

♪

♪ Had to be here ♪

♪ On this satellite ♪

♪

♪ Song slowly fades ♪

♪ electronic distortion ♪

♪ soft, orchestral music playing ♪