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1
00:00:03,525 --> 00:00:06,528
Not all science
is created equal.
2
00:00:06,571 --> 00:00:09,705
There's physics, the
undisputed king of science.
3
00:00:09,748 --> 00:00:11,489
There's chemistry.
It's no physics,
4
00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:13,926
but it's not a bad way
to pass a rainy afternoon.
5
00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:16,059
And then there's biology,
6
00:00:16,103 --> 00:00:18,061
the squishiest of the sciences.
7
00:00:19,671 --> 00:00:22,500
Once you have deposited
enough saliva
8
00:00:22,544 --> 00:00:23,608
in the blue Benedict's solution,
9
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:25,764
we'll mix it
10
00:00:25,808 --> 00:00:27,157
in the centrifuge.
11
00:00:27,201 --> 00:00:29,290
After that, we'll pass it
through the spectrometer
12
00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:31,901
to measure
how much glucose is present.
13
00:00:31,944 --> 00:00:34,338
And won't that be a party?
14
00:00:34,382 --> 00:00:35,383
Sheldon.
15
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:43,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
16
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,141
Dear. Dear.
17
00:00:54,184 --> 00:00:56,186
It's warm. Dear.
18
00:01:16,685 --> 00:01:18,489
And then there was some
extra money in the budget,
19
00:01:18,513 --> 00:01:20,230
so I was able to order
those tackling dummies
20
00:01:20,254 --> 00:01:21,733
I had my eye on.
21
00:01:21,777 --> 00:01:23,657
I don't understand
why the football program gets
22
00:01:23,692 --> 00:01:25,670
so much money, while
the equipment in the science lab
23
00:01:25,694 --> 00:01:27,652
is outdated and falling apart.
24
00:01:27,696 --> 00:01:28,871
I can explain that.
25
00:01:28,914 --> 00:01:30,133
This is Texas.
26
00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:31,134
Pass the ribs.
27
00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:32,135
Well, it's not fair.
28
00:01:32,179 --> 00:01:33,180
It's a school.
29
00:01:33,223 --> 00:01:35,007
Education should be
their priority.
30
00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:36,618
All right, I'll
explain it again...
31
00:01:36,661 --> 00:01:37,967
I think Shelly's got a point.
32
00:01:38,010 --> 00:01:40,274
The school is supposed
to prepare these kids
33
00:01:40,317 --> 00:01:41,666
for the future. How many of 'em
34
00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:44,104
are gonna be
professional football players?
35
00:01:44,147 --> 00:01:45,670
No one at this table.
36
00:01:45,714 --> 00:01:48,543
But how many of 'em
are gonna be scientists?
37
00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:49,805
I know.
38
00:01:49,848 --> 00:01:52,373
George, isn't there
a way they can take some
39
00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:54,375
of the football money
and spend it on science?
40
00:01:54,418 --> 00:01:56,812
Really?
I need to explain it again?
41
00:01:56,855 --> 00:01:58,746
You know, Moon Pie, in the '60s,
when the hippies wanted
42
00:01:58,770 --> 00:02:01,251
to change things,
they would just protest.
43
00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:03,035
You were a hippie? No.
44
00:02:03,079 --> 00:02:05,429
But I wrote a letter
complaining about the hippies,
45
00:02:05,473 --> 00:02:07,649
and the police chased 'em
right out of that park.
46
00:02:07,692 --> 00:02:09,129
So my point is...
47
00:02:09,172 --> 00:02:11,174
maybe you could write a letter.
48
00:02:11,218 --> 00:02:13,568
Ooh! Maybe I can lodge
a formal complaint
49
00:02:13,611 --> 00:02:15,763
with the school board about
the sports budget infringing
50
00:02:15,787 --> 00:02:17,093
on the other departments.
51
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,225
Okay, last time
52
00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:19,748
Canada,
53
00:02:19,791 --> 00:02:21,576
the other states,
54
00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:23,404
us.
55
00:02:31,063 --> 00:02:33,196
What are you doing,
standing there?
56
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,372
I wrote a formal complaint
letter to the school board
57
00:02:35,416 --> 00:02:37,461
on how much money is
spent on football.
58
00:02:37,505 --> 00:02:39,724
I was hoping you could
deliver it to them.
59
00:02:39,768 --> 00:02:41,639
You do realize
your father's a coach here.
60
00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:43,119
Yes, sir, I do.
61
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,010
Maybe you ought to talk to him
about this first.
62
00:02:45,034 --> 00:02:46,035
I did.
63
00:02:46,078 --> 00:02:47,906
He didn't care
for the idea at all.
64
00:02:47,950 --> 00:02:50,257
Well, there you go.
65
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:52,128
There I go what?
66
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,826
Let me see that.
67
00:02:56,741 --> 00:02:59,918
"Barbaric sport...
encourages bloodlust similar
68
00:02:59,962 --> 00:03:01,790
"to Roman gladiator games...
69
00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:03,879
"Christians, lions...
70
00:03:03,922 --> 00:03:06,229
money better spent
on science and learning."
71
00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:08,231
You're joking, right?
72
00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:10,755
Did you see the word "bazinga"
anywhere in that letter?
73
00:03:14,716 --> 00:03:16,021
Out.
74
00:03:16,065 --> 00:03:18,937
I'll just have to go
over his head.
75
00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:24,247
President Cooper.
76
00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:26,118
That's serendipitous.
77
00:03:27,381 --> 00:03:28,817
Hello.
78
00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:31,733
What?
79
00:03:31,776 --> 00:03:34,388
I understand that you're
in charge of student elections.
80
00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:36,955
I am.
81
00:03:36,999 --> 00:03:39,175
I'd like to run
for class president.
82
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,829
Really?
83
00:03:40,872 --> 00:03:42,396
Really.
84
00:03:42,439 --> 00:03:44,180
Okay.
85
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,922
You can sign up,
but I have to warn you...
86
00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:49,968
You'll be running
against Nell Cavanaugh.
87
00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:51,056
So?
88
00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:53,798
She's well-liked
by the student body.
89
00:03:53,842 --> 00:03:55,278
So?
90
00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:58,412
These elections tend to be a
bit of a popularity contest.
91
00:03:58,455 --> 00:04:01,284
So? You're gonna make me say it?
92
00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:02,503
Say what?
93
00:04:02,546 --> 00:04:04,505
People don't like you.
94
00:04:04,548 --> 00:04:07,116
Well, as my meemaw likes to say,
water off a duck's back.
95
00:04:07,159 --> 00:04:09,336
Elections shouldn't be
about popularity.
96
00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:11,947
They should be about who has
the best ideas.
97
00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:14,254
And what's your idea?
98
00:04:14,297 --> 00:04:15,646
Less money on football,
99
00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:17,039
more on science.
100
00:04:18,083 --> 00:04:20,085
Really.
101
00:04:20,129 --> 00:04:22,740
Guess what. I'm running
for class president.
102
00:04:22,784 --> 00:04:24,307
Good for you.
103
00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:25,917
You're encouraging him?
104
00:04:25,961 --> 00:04:27,745
He's gonna get destroyed.
105
00:04:27,789 --> 00:04:29,051
You don't know that.
106
00:04:29,094 --> 00:04:30,748
I feel like I do.
107
00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:32,750
Well, whether you win or not,
108
00:04:32,794 --> 00:04:34,709
I think it's great
that you're trying.
109
00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:36,711
But you think I'll win, right?
110
00:04:38,452 --> 00:04:41,106
God's listening, Mom.
111
00:04:41,150 --> 00:04:43,108
I think it's certainly possible.
112
00:04:43,152 --> 00:04:45,067
Do you have a campaign strategy?
113
00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:45,894
No.
114
00:04:45,937 --> 00:04:47,635
Do you have a catchy slogan?
115
00:04:47,678 --> 00:04:48,636
No.
116
00:04:48,679 --> 00:04:49,917
Does he have a shot at winning?
117
00:04:49,941 --> 00:04:50,942
No.
118
00:04:53,162 --> 00:04:56,774
Hello, I'd like to speak
to the mayor, please.
119
00:04:56,818 --> 00:04:57,775
My name is Sheldon Cooper.
120
00:04:57,819 --> 00:04:59,211
I'm running for class president
121
00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:02,606
and was hoping
he could give me some advice.
122
00:05:02,650 --> 00:05:03,825
I'm ten years old.
123
00:05:03,868 --> 00:05:05,348
But if it helps get him
on the phone,
124
00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:07,481
I'm well-behaved,
a straight-A student,
125
00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:09,831
and have impeccable hygiene.
126
00:05:09,874 --> 00:05:10,788
Hello.
127
00:05:10,832 --> 00:05:12,616
This is Mayor Harrison.
128
00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:15,184
I understand
you are running for office.
129
00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:16,577
Class president.
130
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:18,666
Do you have any advice
on how to win?
131
00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:20,842
The most important thing
is to get out there
132
00:05:20,885 --> 00:05:22,365
and connect with people.
133
00:05:22,409 --> 00:05:24,019
That's tricky.
134
00:05:24,062 --> 00:05:25,760
I'm not terribly fond of people.
135
00:05:25,803 --> 00:05:27,849
Well, you might need
to get over that.
136
00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:29,111
Assuming I can,
137
00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:30,852
how do I connect with them?
138
00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:32,854
A friendly handshake
is a great start.
139
00:05:32,897 --> 00:05:33,855
Boy.
140
00:05:33,898 --> 00:05:36,031
Now I have to touch them?
141
00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:38,033
Over the next few days,
142
00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:40,035
I mounted my campaign.
143
00:05:40,078 --> 00:05:42,907
My name is Sheldon Cooper, and
I'm running for class president.
144
00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:43,865
Okay.
145
00:05:43,908 --> 00:05:45,910
Put her there.
146
00:05:47,564 --> 00:05:48,870
Greetings, fellow students.
147
00:05:48,913 --> 00:05:50,611
I'm running for class president.
148
00:05:50,654 --> 00:05:53,048
Here's a button.
149
00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:55,659
Have a grown-up put them on you.
150
00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:57,008
They're sharp.
151
00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:58,270
Hello.
152
00:05:58,314 --> 00:05:59,359
I'm Sheldon Cooper,
153
00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:01,099
and I'm running
for class president.
154
00:06:01,143 --> 00:06:02,536
Yeah? I understand
155
00:06:02,579 --> 00:06:04,059
you had a baby last year.
156
00:06:04,102 --> 00:06:06,104
If you bring it in,
I'll try to kiss it.
157
00:06:14,156 --> 00:06:15,176
Vote Sheldon
for class president.
158
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,725
Vote Sheldon
for class president.
159
00:06:17,768 --> 00:06:21,163
Vote Sheldon for
class president.
160
00:06:21,206 --> 00:06:23,165
Don't worry... it's a number two.
161
00:06:23,208 --> 00:06:24,862
You can use it on
standardized tests.
162
00:06:24,906 --> 00:06:26,473
Okay.
163
00:06:26,516 --> 00:06:27,430
And, of course, homework.
164
00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:30,390
I love homework.
165
00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:32,783
Well, it's so nice
to finally meet you.
166
00:06:32,827 --> 00:06:33,915
I'm Nell Cavanaugh.
167
00:06:33,958 --> 00:06:35,482
My opponent.
168
00:06:35,525 --> 00:06:38,136
I would shake your hand, but
my mom is washing my mittens.
169
00:06:38,180 --> 00:06:40,051
Okay.
170
00:06:41,836 --> 00:06:43,054
She was really nice.
171
00:06:43,098 --> 00:06:45,187
She even said, "May
the best student win."
172
00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:46,362
That's sweet.
173
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,059
This was a great idea.
174
00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:50,453
Children like cupcakes,
and, by giving them cupcakes,
175
00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:52,716
they'll transfer
that affinity to me.
176
00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,980
That's another way
of looking at it.
177
00:06:56,024 --> 00:06:58,940
By that reasoning, a rich person
could simply buy people's votes.
178
00:06:58,983 --> 00:07:00,855
It's been known to happen.
179
00:07:00,898 --> 00:07:01,812
Until my ship comes in,
180
00:07:01,856 --> 00:07:03,814
I guess it's cupcakes.
181
00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:06,034
Georgie, check it out.
182
00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:08,036
Man, I hate
that he's doing this.
183
00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:09,820
What? It's cute.
184
00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:11,169
It's embarrassing.
185
00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:13,607
I would think
you'd be proud of him.
186
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:16,044
That's 'cause you're
a better person than me.
187
00:07:16,087 --> 00:07:18,786
Maybe you ought to ask God
to take away your anger
188
00:07:18,829 --> 00:07:20,178
and replace it with love.
189
00:07:20,222 --> 00:07:22,703
Can I ask him to take away
my brother instead?
190
00:07:22,746 --> 00:07:24,052
Georgie.
191
00:07:24,095 --> 00:07:25,532
Not kill him...
192
00:07:25,575 --> 00:07:27,621
Just strand him
on an island somewhere.
193
00:07:28,665 --> 00:07:29,623
A nice island,
194
00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:31,451
with coconuts and stuff.
195
00:07:48,076 --> 00:07:49,599
Nell Cavanaugh,
196
00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:52,863
it appears
we're taking the mittens off.
197
00:07:52,907 --> 00:07:55,475
Well, that's unfortunate.
198
00:07:55,518 --> 00:07:57,041
This goes
well beyond unfortunate.
199
00:07:57,085 --> 00:07:58,652
It's flat-out unfair.
200
00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:01,176
Did you not say that
you love homework?
201
00:08:01,219 --> 00:08:03,091
Of course I said it.
I say it all the time.
202
00:08:03,134 --> 00:08:06,181
But she took it out of context
and is using it against me.
203
00:08:06,224 --> 00:08:08,096
Well, that is what
happens in politics.
204
00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:09,967
People stretch the truth.
205
00:08:10,011 --> 00:08:11,708
Well, those people
are dirty dogs.
206
00:08:11,752 --> 00:08:12,970
They certainly are.
207
00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:14,972
Now, let me ask you something.
208
00:08:15,016 --> 00:08:16,931
How bad do you want
to win this election?
209
00:08:16,974 --> 00:08:20,108
Bad enough to let
105 kids shake my mitten.
210
00:08:20,151 --> 00:08:21,544
Okay, then you need
to toughen up.
211
00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:23,981
Politics is not
for the weak-kneed.
212
00:08:24,025 --> 00:08:26,636
Are you suggesting
that I fight fire with fire?
213
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,290
I am.
214
00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:31,206
So going to my room and crying
in my pillow is not an option?
215
00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:32,512
It is not.
216
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,994
Then I have some thinking to do.
217
00:08:38,996 --> 00:08:39,954
Yeah.
218
00:08:39,997 --> 00:08:40,955
You're screwed.
219
00:08:40,998 --> 00:08:42,957
Which is why I need your help.
220
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,132
Why me?
221
00:08:44,175 --> 00:08:45,220
You're ruthless.
222
00:08:45,263 --> 00:08:46,787
I've seen you cheat
at Candy Land.
223
00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:48,963
Thanks. Go on.
224
00:08:49,006 --> 00:08:50,225
Well, I'd like to retaliate,
225
00:08:50,268 --> 00:08:52,053
but I don't know
anything about her.
226
00:08:52,096 --> 00:08:53,620
Make something up.
227
00:08:53,663 --> 00:08:56,100
Ooh, tell people
she has head lice.
228
00:08:56,144 --> 00:08:58,102
I won't resort to lying.
229
00:08:59,147 --> 00:09:01,410
There's a Denise Cavanaugh
in my class.
230
00:09:01,453 --> 00:09:03,151
Could be her little sister.
231
00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:04,369
So?
232
00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:05,608
I'll see if I can dig up
something about Nell
233
00:09:05,632 --> 00:09:06,981
you can use against her.
234
00:09:07,024 --> 00:09:08,765
Thank you.
235
00:09:08,809 --> 00:09:11,289
Georgie, I hate
to have to ask this,
236
00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:13,204
but are you going
to vote for me?
237
00:09:13,248 --> 00:09:14,554
No. Go away.
238
00:09:14,597 --> 00:09:15,772
Are you sure?
239
00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:17,774
If I win, I can make
you a hall monitor.
240
00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:20,124
Imagine the respect
you'll get then.
241
00:09:20,168 --> 00:09:21,778
Get lost.
242
00:09:27,218 --> 00:09:31,527
Lord, please take away my anger
toward my stupid brother.
243
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,094
My life is hard enough.
244
00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:34,922
Don't let him be president.
245
00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:36,706
And while we're talking,
246
00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:39,143
Veronica... help me out.
247
00:09:39,187 --> 00:09:42,103
Encourage her to do something
with me she'll regret.
248
00:09:42,146 --> 00:09:43,670
Amen.
249
00:09:45,715 --> 00:09:47,282
Remember,
250
00:09:47,325 --> 00:09:50,154
tomorrow
we'll be dissecting worms!
251
00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:54,681
Your sadness makes me happy.
252
00:09:54,724 --> 00:09:56,136
Mr. Givens,
I just wanted you to know
253
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:57,901
that I'm still working hard
on my campaign
254
00:09:57,945 --> 00:10:00,121
to get more funding
for the science department.
255
00:10:00,164 --> 00:10:03,559
Great, 'cause I've got to
dig up tomorrow's worms myself.
256
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,170
Anything you can do to help
me win a decisive victory
257
00:10:06,214 --> 00:10:08,172
come Election Day
would be much appreciated.
258
00:10:08,216 --> 00:10:09,652
Well, I'm sorry, Sheldon,
259
00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:11,674
the faculty doesn't get involved
in student elections.
260
00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:13,656
I understand.
261
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:16,050
You have to remain neutral.
Wink, wink.
262
00:10:16,093 --> 00:10:18,269
I'm sorry, wink, wink?
263
00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:20,968
You want new science equipment
and I want that for you.
264
00:10:21,011 --> 00:10:23,753
One hand washes the other.
Wink, wink.
265
00:10:23,797 --> 00:10:26,495
Sure, wink, wink.
266
00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:29,193
Now you're getting it.
Wink, wink.
267
00:10:29,237 --> 00:10:31,282
Wink, wink.
268
00:10:31,326 --> 00:10:32,283
Wink, wink.
269
00:10:32,327 --> 00:10:35,330
That kid creeps me out.
270
00:10:35,373 --> 00:10:38,507
Another hurdle in my political
career was glossophobia
271
00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:40,204
Fear of public speaking.
272
00:10:40,248 --> 00:10:43,294
I've been known to experience
dry mouth, perspiration,
273
00:10:43,338 --> 00:10:45,688
heart palpitations,
and fainting.
274
00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:47,255
A similar response
to what I experience
275
00:10:47,298 --> 00:10:48,952
around unleashed dogs.
276
00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:51,041
Hello, this is Sheldon Cooper.
277
00:10:51,085 --> 00:10:52,869
Can I please speak
with Pastor Jeff?
278
00:10:52,913 --> 00:10:55,742
Hold on.
279
00:10:57,308 --> 00:10:59,093
Hey, Sheldon,
what can I do for you?
280
00:10:59,136 --> 00:11:01,095
I need to give
a speech at school,
281
00:11:01,138 --> 00:11:03,010
but I have a fear
of public speaking.
282
00:11:03,053 --> 00:11:04,751
Since you give a sermon
every Sunday,
283
00:11:04,794 --> 00:11:06,709
I was hoping you'd have
some words of advice.
284
00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:09,059
As a matter of fact, I do.
285
00:11:09,103 --> 00:11:12,584
When I look down on my
congregation and I feel nervous,
286
00:11:12,628 --> 00:11:15,544
I just ask the Lord
to speak through me.
287
00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:17,546
Like a ventriloquist?
288
00:11:17,589 --> 00:11:19,113
Not exactly.
289
00:11:19,156 --> 00:11:20,723
I think of it more as a...
290
00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:21,985
Like one of the Muppets?
291
00:11:22,029 --> 00:11:23,291
No, not that either.
292
00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:25,336
'Cause you do look
a little like Kermit.
293
00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:27,861
Okay, good luck to you, Sheldon.
294
00:11:27,904 --> 00:11:29,863
Hello.
295
00:11:29,906 --> 00:11:32,169
Dr. Sturgis.
Can you give me any advice
296
00:11:32,213 --> 00:11:34,258
on how to overcome a fear
of public speaking?
297
00:11:34,302 --> 00:11:37,218
You know, when I was a young man
298
00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:40,874
I had a terrible fear
of speaking to an audience.
299
00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:42,527
What did you do?
300
00:11:42,571 --> 00:11:44,965
Actually, it kinda took care
of itself.
301
00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:48,620
One day I was,
playing miniature golf
302
00:11:48,664 --> 00:11:52,320
with some colleagues
and I got struck by lightning.
303
00:11:52,363 --> 00:11:54,452
Dear. No, it was fine.
304
00:11:54,496 --> 00:11:59,153
When I came to, I found myself
with the gift of gab.
305
00:11:59,196 --> 00:12:00,415
Big crowds,
306
00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:03,331
small crowds,
you couldn't shut me up.
307
00:12:03,374 --> 00:12:05,202
I don't see how
that can benefit me.
308
00:12:05,246 --> 00:12:07,814
Not unless you'd like me
to take you miniature golfing
309
00:12:07,857 --> 00:12:10,251
next time there are clouds
on the horizon.
310
00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:21,436
Everything okay? No.
311
00:12:21,479 --> 00:12:24,265
I have to give a speech
in front of the entire assembly.
312
00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:27,094
Got a little stage fright?
313
00:12:27,137 --> 00:12:28,791
Unfortunately so.
314
00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:31,794
Just thinking about it
causes my bladder to misbehave.
315
00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:34,101
Yeah, I been there.
316
00:12:34,144 --> 00:12:35,711
You have?
317
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,147
Sure.
318
00:12:37,191 --> 00:12:38,845
When I first started coaching,
319
00:12:38,888 --> 00:12:40,498
I was real nervous
to talk to the team,
320
00:12:40,542 --> 00:12:42,283
you know,
give a locker room speech.
321
00:12:42,326 --> 00:12:45,242
Then, one day it dawned on me,
322
00:12:45,286 --> 00:12:46,785
I'm not just talking
to football players,
323
00:12:46,809 --> 00:12:49,246
I'm talking
to teenage football players.
324
00:12:49,290 --> 00:12:51,292
Most of them aren't listening
to a word I'm saying.
325
00:12:51,335 --> 00:12:53,294
That's an interesting
perspective.
326
00:12:53,337 --> 00:12:55,252
I'll tell you something else.
327
00:12:55,296 --> 00:12:57,656
You don't give yourself enough
credit for how brave you are.
328
00:12:57,689 --> 00:13:00,083
I don't? No.
329
00:13:00,127 --> 00:13:03,217
Sheldon, you are ten years old,
going to high school.
330
00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:06,394
Everyone's older than you,
everyone's bigger than you,
331
00:13:06,437 --> 00:13:10,398
but you keep at it,
day after day.
332
00:13:10,441 --> 00:13:12,922
That's brave.
333
00:13:12,966 --> 00:13:14,924
Any kid who can do that
could give a speech
334
00:13:14,968 --> 00:13:17,622
to the United Nations
if he had to.
335
00:13:19,581 --> 00:13:21,017
Thanks, Dad.
336
00:13:30,592 --> 00:13:32,333
I heard what you said in there.
337
00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:34,465
That was very beautiful. Thanks.
338
00:13:34,509 --> 00:13:37,294
I gave a similar speech
to my team last week.
339
00:13:37,338 --> 00:13:39,166
Boy, did we get
our asses kicked.
340
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,322
Emboldened by
my father's pep talk,
341
00:13:45,346 --> 00:13:48,001
I began working on my speech.
342
00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:50,742
I aspired to walk
in the footsteps
343
00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:52,048
of history's greatest orators
344
00:13:52,092 --> 00:13:54,355
Socrates, Winston Churchill,
345
00:13:54,398 --> 00:13:57,488
and, last but not least,
Professor Proton.
346
00:13:57,532 --> 00:13:59,360
Hey, I spoke to Nell's sister.
347
00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:00,970
Found out some
interesting stuff.
348
00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:04,539
Thanks, but I've decided I don't
want to stoop to her level.
349
00:14:04,582 --> 00:14:06,802
If I can't win on the quality
of my ideas,
350
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:09,022
then I'd rather lose
with my head held high.
351
00:14:09,065 --> 00:14:10,284
That's really stupid,
352
00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:12,852
but in case you change
your mind...
353
00:14:15,376 --> 00:14:17,944
All right, y'all have heard
354
00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:20,139
from your secretary candidates,
your treasurer candidates,
355
00:14:20,163 --> 00:14:22,600
your vice presidents...
356
00:14:22,644 --> 00:14:24,646
It's time for the big finale,
357
00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:28,171
the closing event,
the headliners...
358
00:14:28,215 --> 00:14:31,653
Nell Cavanaugh
and Sheldon Cooper.
359
00:14:31,696 --> 00:14:34,656
One of these two will be
president of your class,
360
00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:37,659
so listen to what they've got
to say and choose wisely,
361
00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:40,705
which will be a whole new
experience for most of you.
362
00:14:40,749 --> 00:14:43,708
Remember, heckling
will get you detention.
363
00:14:43,752 --> 00:14:44,927
Bite me!
364
00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:48,061
Bryan Larkin, two days!
365
00:14:48,104 --> 00:14:50,150
You want to try for a week?
366
00:14:50,193 --> 00:14:51,934
I didn't think so.
367
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:53,980
Nell, floor is yours.
368
00:15:01,204 --> 00:15:03,076
Nell!
369
00:15:04,294 --> 00:15:06,557
Thank you, Ms. MacElroy,
370
00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:09,169
Principal Petersen,
our hard-working teachers,
371
00:15:09,212 --> 00:15:10,518
and my fellow students.
372
00:15:10,561 --> 00:15:14,087
I'm blessed to call
so many of you friends.
373
00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:15,891
Y'all probably know everything
about me already.
374
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,525
Lord knows I love to talk.
375
00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:22,095
So instead of going on
about myself,
376
00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:25,141
I'd like to talk to you
about my opponent.
377
00:15:25,185 --> 00:15:27,970
Sheldon Cooper has been lobbying
378
00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:29,469
for new science equipment here
at Medford High,
379
00:15:29,493 --> 00:15:33,236
and while that sounds wonderful,
the truth is,
380
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:38,546
he thinks our school wastes
its money on football.
381
00:15:41,288 --> 00:15:43,681
Do we really want
a class president
382
00:15:43,725 --> 00:15:46,641
who doesn't care about football?
383
00:15:46,684 --> 00:15:49,383
No!
384
00:15:49,426 --> 00:15:51,361
I know I am proud to be
a Medford High cheerleader,
385
00:15:51,385 --> 00:15:53,039
and I love football!
386
00:15:56,433 --> 00:15:57,869
But you know the one thing
387
00:15:57,913 --> 00:16:01,569
I love more than football?
388
00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:03,136
God.
389
00:16:08,141 --> 00:16:09,683
Let me tell you
another interesting fact
390
00:16:09,707 --> 00:16:10,970
about my opponent.
391
00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:15,061
Did you know that Sheldon Cooper
is an atheist?
392
00:16:15,104 --> 00:16:17,019
That's right.
393
00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:20,066
He doesn't believe in God.
394
00:16:20,109 --> 00:16:21,937
Just keep that in mind
395
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,157
when you cast your vote today.
396
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:27,247
I'm Nell Cavanaugh. Go Wolves!
397
00:16:36,256 --> 00:16:38,171
And now, please welcome
Sheldon Cooper.
398
00:16:51,271 --> 00:16:54,013
No one would fault you
if you ran out the back door.
399
00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:24,086
Nell Cavanaugh is... a Yankee.
400
00:17:26,697 --> 00:17:29,396
She may love football
and she may love God,
401
00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:31,267
but she was born in Scarsdale.
402
00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:32,921
That's in New York.
403
00:17:34,923 --> 00:17:36,925
There's more.
404
00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:40,624
My opponent didn't move to Texas
until she was seven years old.
405
00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:42,757
In fact, in her bedroom
406
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,281
there's a pennant
for the New York Yankees.
407
00:17:49,285 --> 00:17:51,679
While I may not be a fan
408
00:17:51,722 --> 00:17:53,289
of organized religion or sports,
409
00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:56,771
I promise, if you vote for me,
I'll do my best
410
00:17:56,814 --> 00:17:59,643
to get new science equipment
for our school.
411
00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:07,303
Don't mess with Texas!
412
00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:16,225
Sheldon! Sheldon! Sheldon!
413
00:18:16,269 --> 00:18:20,055
Sheldon! Sheldon! Sheldon!
Sheldon!
414
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,579
Sheldon! Sheldon! Sheldon!
415
00:18:22,623 --> 00:18:24,755
Sheldon! Sheldon!
416
00:18:40,293 --> 00:18:43,122
Before I became
Dr. Sheldon Cooper,
417
00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:45,298
I was President Sheldon Cooper.
418
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:46,734
And I don't mind telling you,
419
00:18:46,777 --> 00:18:49,345
they both look pretty darn
good on business cards.
420
00:18:49,389 --> 00:18:50,955
One of my first responsibilities
421
00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:52,218
as class president
422
00:18:52,261 --> 00:18:54,481
was delivering
the morning announcements.
423
00:18:54,524 --> 00:18:56,961
Please rise
for the Pledge of Allegiance.
424
00:18:57,005 --> 00:19:00,051
I pledge allegiance
to the Flag...
425
00:19:00,095 --> 00:19:02,619
Of the United States
of America...
426
00:19:02,663 --> 00:19:05,492
And to the Republic
for which it stands...
427
00:19:05,535 --> 00:19:06,971
One Nation...
428
00:19:07,015 --> 00:19:09,235
Here's a fun fact
about the next two words
429
00:19:09,278 --> 00:19:11,759
"Under God" wasn't added
to the Pledge of Allegiance
430
00:19:11,802 --> 00:19:13,108
until 1954.
431
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,154
My first act as your president
432
00:19:15,197 --> 00:19:17,547
is to remove the words
"under God" from the Pledge
433
00:19:17,591 --> 00:19:18,766
in order to honor
434
00:19:18,809 --> 00:19:20,420
the separation
of church and state
435
00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:22,117
in this public high school.
436
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,423
Okay, that's enough.
437
00:19:23,466 --> 00:19:24,989
You can't take my microphone.
438
00:19:25,033 --> 00:19:26,687
Thank you.
439
00:19:26,730 --> 00:19:29,080
All right, let's try this again.
440
00:19:29,124 --> 00:19:30,734
I pledge allegiance
to the Flag...
441
00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:33,041
Of the United States of America,
442
00:19:33,084 --> 00:19:36,218
and to the Republic
for which it stands...
443
00:19:36,262 --> 00:19:37,524
One Nation
444
00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:38,873
under God,
445
00:19:38,916 --> 00:19:42,137
indivisible, with liberty
and justice for all.
446
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,139
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447
00:19:47,273 --> 00:19:49,433
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